The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb
by Blackspiderman
Summary: Episode 69 - Radio Rebels: Phineas & Ferb start their own radio stations to help the Fireside Girls get their "Radio Personality" patches. But Doofenshmirtz's scheme may interfere with those plans, and Candace cannot stop listening to a completely sexist radio personality. Oh, and Jeremy might be coming back to Danville soon. Just your average day, I guess. Rated T for safety.
1. 1: Father Waits for No Man

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 1: Father Waits for No Man (Part 1)**

**Fanfiction Summary: This is basically Season 4 of Phineas and Ferb. Let's face it, Dan said it himself that Phineas and Ferb would only have enough days of summer left for a third season. So I'm gonna pick up where they left off. Basically the same formula as the series, except there's a different Candace subplot, and I'm pretty sure Dr. Doofenshmirtz is no closer to taking over the tri-state area than he was before. So you won't see him fighting Perry the Platypus as much. But don't worry. You'll see him!**

**Episode Summary: The first part of a 3-part mini series which I like to call "The Chronicles of Isabella: Father Knows No Best". In this episode, Isabella's father is coming over for a Father's Day visit, and she's nervous. So Phineas agrees to stick by her and make sure he doesn't do anything too hateful. Meanwhile, Ferb and the others rally against the closing of a beloved amusement park, Candace tries to adjust to her new life in military school, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to destroy the happy feeling of Father's Day by turning kids against their parents.**

**A/N: Look out for the _Everybody Hates Chris_ reference.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also any songs featured in this FanFiction are also not mine unless I say they are, which probably will not be the case! Plus, some cutaways I post may not be mine. If I don't post a note saying it's taken from _insert TV show name here_, then it's mine.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

It was another bright and sunny day in the town of Danville, and everyone was going to take advantage of it. Isabella Garcia-Shapiro was definitely one of them enjoying it as well. It was not even 7 am and already she was up and eating a healthy breakfast of eggs and bacon. She seemed much happier today than she has been in a long time.

"Isabella," Her mother said as she entered the kitchen and her daughter looked up at her. "Could you come in the living room for a second?"

"Sure mom." Isabella replied softly, putting her dish in the sink. **Wash much?** Afterwards she went into the living room to find her mother next to the telephone. **I'm pretty sure she already knows how to dial 911. **"What's up?" **I think we had "the talk" a few weeks ago.**

"Isa, honey, there's a message on this phone you need to listen to." **We've all heard your opera songs, and they've all suck.**

Vivian turned the messages on the phone and they both listened to the very latest one, from an unlikely person. **I always pictured getting a call from someone I admire. Thing is, I always thought it'd be Farrah Fawcettt. **"_You have 1 new message. Message 1. Sunday, June 21st, 2009."_

_"Uh, hey guys, it's me, Glenn." _Spoke none other than Isabella's own dad, Glenn. **If you haven't figured out who he is by now, you're dumber than Bubba J. **_"I was hoping to come by today to celebrate Father's Day a little early with you because I had to be somewhere tomorrow. But I kinda saw the news and noticed you were busy. So, I'll come by tomorrow No worries, I'll just move some stuff around.. Best wishes. And...that's it. Oh, and if you see a fat guy who goes by the name of Peter Griffin, I...owe him forty bucks."_

**What'd you do? Lose a bet?** The message stopped right there, and Isabella couldn't help but feel a cold chill go down her spine. "Isa, honey, are you OK?" Her mother asked her, to which she nodded calmly but frightfully.

"Yeah. I'm OK." **Hell no! The one person I didn't want to see other than Michael Moore is coming for a visit! **"Mom...Father's Day was yesterday, right?"

"Yes."

"Then that means he's coming over _today_ for a visit." **Aw, crap. And we don't have time to put together a party. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to settle for a gift card. Do they have anything for "Thanks for abusing and abandoning me!"?**

"Oh that's right, hon. I forgot."

"Oh boy. Mom, I-I don't know if I can do this."

"Isa, honey, calm down! Calm down!"

"I don't wanna calm down, mom! The man that almost completely ruined my life is coming over for a visit!" Isabella shouted at the top of her lungs."You remember what he did to me!! He kicked me out of the house so often I learned how to camp outside just from that! Plus, he would yell at me, he would hit me, and he would tell me that I was unimportant, ugly, and that nobody would love me!"

"He was different back then, Isa." **Different as in drunk, or different as in Mel Gibson?**

"I don't care! I don't want him here!"

"I don't think we have any choice, dear. He was always one to be very stubborn. Look, nobody says you have to like him. Just tolerate him until the end of the day. I'm sure you can manage that, right?"

Isabella sighed a sigh of defeat, knowing there was practically no way out of this. "OK, mom. I'll spend the day with him. But the second he does anything inappropriate to me, you can bet your house that the police are gonna be on the scene." You could tell that Isabella was really angry about this, and that nothing would stop her from showing it to her dad if anything happened. **I thought "that time of the month" didn't come for another 2 years!**

So Isabella went back upstairs and changed into her regular white shirt, pink dress, and pink bow. She looked at a picture of her and Phineas together from a year back, and she couldn't help but think that this would be the last time she would ever see him. So she finished getting dressed and went next door to her neighbor and boyfriend, Phineas Flynn.

Speaking of him, he was busy with another project with his step-brother, Ferb. **He's autistic, you know. That's why he don't speak that much.**

They were building fireworks to shoot up to the sky to celebrate Father's Day later that night. "Hi, Phineas." Isabella said, trying to sound as sweet as she possibly could, while still showing her frustration and sadness. The boy turned around to see his girlfriend standing there. He immediately dropped his wrench, went up to her, and gave her a big hug.

"Hey, Isabella." He returned her hello back, hugging her tightly, making Isabella feel really good inside. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing." She said calmly as they parted halfway. She seemed to be uneasy to Phineas, which made him a bit worried about her. "Nothing at all."

"Are you sure? 'Cause to be honest, to me, you seem a bit on edge about something." **And to me, you seem like you're on the pill.**

"Well...is it that noticable?" She knew she couldn't hide anything from Phineas. They've known each other their entire lives.

"Yeah. So what's the matter?"

She sighed, took a deep breath, and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the shadiest tree in the backyard. "I need to talk to you about something." She said as they both took a seat under the tree.

"Sure, Isabella. You can talk to me about anything."

"Good. Because...my-my-" She found it extremely difficult to tell him that her father was coming. He knew all about her struggles with her dad at a very young age, and she feared deeply that Phineas would overreact to the news. "My dad's coming over for a Father's Day visit!" She gasped for air while waiting for a response. **You could cut the tension with a knife. Not that I'm giving OJ any ideas or anything, but...**

"Your...your dad? As in the dad that abused you, hurt you, and kicked you out of your own home when you were just a little baby?"

"Yeah! And I'm scared to death of him! I don't know what I'm going to do!"

"Did you tell your mom that you didn't want him to come out?"

"Yeah, but it's too late. He left us a message yesterday saying he wanted to come out, and we were in California yesterday! He'll be here in just a couple of hours!"

"Oh...that sucks..."

"I'm afraid he's going to end up hurting me again. Which I why I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Would you come with us wherever my dad takes me today? I could really use some back-up and you're the only one I trust with my life." **Just imagine what would've happened if she said that in front of her mother. **Phineas looked at Isabella with sincere eyes, and saw she meant business, but also that she was in a lot of emotional pain.

"Uh...sure, Isabella. For you, anything." He replied his girlfriend with a kiss on her cheek as she giggled with pure happiness, knowing Phineas would have her back.

"Oh thank you, Phineas. That means the world to me!" She squealed as they both stood up and shared another warm hug.

"When's he supposed to get here?"

"In about an hour. Why?"

"No reason." He then noticed that his pet platypus was once again missing. "Hey, where's Perry?" **Gone. Just like our welfare checks.**

No, the truth was, Perry was down in his secret lair, now in his secret agent double life with his secret agent fedora hat on. "Good morning, Agent P." And Major Monogram was there on the big screen to give him his mission. **I met the man once and he sounded a lot like he could be Morgan Freeman's father. "**

It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks. Earlier today kids in the park were hanging out with their dads for Father's Day and it seemed like nothing could go wrong. But after Dr. Doofenshmirtz was spotted going into the Evil Emporium at 9 am, that all changed. Kids were seen hitting their fathers, bad-mouthing them, and even in some cases, throwing things like benches, trash cans, and even pushing them into stuff. Man, it was a horrible sight.

* * *

So while Phineas and Isabella were getting ready for the arrival of her dad, Ferb, Baljeet, Buford, and many of the Fireside Girls were going to the Danville Adventure Land amuserment park to enjoy themselves and give Phineas and Isabella some time to themselves. But they were in for a big shock when they arrived and showed the guy at the front desk their tickets.

"Sorry, guys. The park's shutting down." He said sadly to the shock of the friends.

"What!? You can't be serious!" **You ever looked Kanye West in the eye and said that, you'd be as disappointed as Taylor Swift was at the 2009 MTV Music Awards.** Baljeet shouted.

"Why? Everyone loves this park!" **Everyone except Obama.**

"Well, for some reason, the town has decided that kids are sick of this park and want nothing to do with it anymore. I know this park doesn't turn in the best profits, but it sure as hell is better than that dang Slushy Dog place! I mean, those things are absolutely disgusting!"

"Oh believe me, I know. Those things never get any better." Ferb agreed.

"But isn't there any way we can stop this from happening!?" Katie asked the man, who shrugged regretfully.

"If by that you mean 'convince the city not to tear this palce down', I don't know. Those guys are pretty stubborn." **So are most African-Americans. That's why they wouldn't give up trying to get a black president in the white house. **"You could try, you know, protesting against it."

"But how? You cannot fight city hall!" Baljeet pointed out.

"Sorry, guys. I got nothing."

"I say we go ahead and fight city hall!" Buford shouted, not wanting his beloved amusement park to be closed down.

"Is it really possible?"

"Anything's possible if you just work for it." Ferb said. "The question isn't _if_ you can fight city hall, but rather _how_ you can fight city hall." **Same way Rosa Park did it. Only replace the buses with amusement park rides, junk food, and a whole lotta Monty Python.**

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere out in Virginia, at Commandant Edwin Spangler's Reform Military Academy for the Young, Rebellious, and even the Queer. Candace Flynn was having trouble adapting to her new life in Military School. Ironically, many of the cadets there were from Virginia and had either known Candace personally from the past, or seen her yell and scream at her brothers. What's worse is that everyone there was a girl except for Commandant Spangler himself. Despite the fact that he was fired from his first Military Academy, he was still deemed fit enough to run a Military Academy. So they built a second Military Academy for girls only, which is where Candace is right now.

She was having such a hard time fitting in, and an even harder time not getting yelled at.

For example..."**_FLYNN!_**" When it was time to clean the toilet, Candace refused immensly and left the bathroom, to the distain of her fellow cadets. "You're supposed to be cleaning the latrine! What in Sam Hill are you doing out here!?" **Not cleaning in there, smarty.**

"Oh, well, you see, I don't like cleaning the toilets that much, so--"

"And I don't like Beyonce's work! But that doesn't stop me from listening to that raspy voice of hers!"

"Uh, what?"

"Get back in there and CLEAN THE LATRINES!" He shouted into her face. But she showed no fear, and actually replied with a "No." This set him far over the edge, as she dragged her down into the facility's basement, and forced her to clean the entire basement room from top to bottom. "And don't come back out until that entire room is spotless! If I see even a single speck of dirt in that room, I will make you wish you were born a boy, because you're going to spend all of your time here and miserable little troll!" **She thought her life was miserable now. Just imagine what it would've been like had they sent her to Shawshank Prison.**

* * *

While Candace was busy cleaning, and Ferb & the others were busy storming up a protest, Phineas and Isabella had other pressing matters to attend to. It was only minutes until 11 am, minutes before Isabella's dad was scheduled to arrive in the neighborhood.

"OK, Isabella. It's almost 11. Your dad should be here any moment." Phineas said as he handed her a walkie-talkie. "This walkie-talkie's gonna help us stay in touch with each other."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" She asked him as she turned hers on.

"Of course. Look, they can sustain a frequency from a distance of up to 500 miles, so we'll virtually be able to talk to each other wherever we are...unless he kidnaps you and takes you to Brazil like that insane mother did on the news. Oh, and if he tries to do anything, press this red button here." **Didn't you see those damn spy movies!? Red button always means death! **"This'll activate the hidden GPS system in my walkie-talkie, and give me your location. This way, I'll be able to stop whatever he's about to do."

"OK, Phineas. I trust you with this." The truth was, she was very uneasy about this. But she trusted Phineas with her life way more than she trusted her dad. So she him one final hug and a kiss before Phineas took cover behind a nearby mailbox. A few moments later, a car pulled up by her. The driver's door opened up and reveald it to be a short, medium-build guy in his 40's with a weird-shaped chin, a red shirt, and regular blue jeans. **If you still can't figure out who her father is, you deserve to be that dumb!**

Isabella gulped and clentched her fists tightly as he stepped out and walked casually over to his daughter. "Izzy! Oh my god, it's been so long!" He shouted out joyfully as he picked up his daughter and hugged her tightly. She didn't return the hug, but he didn't notice.

"It's...nice to see you too, dad." She said bitterly as she was put down. "So...how have you been?"

"I've been great! Yeah, I've had awesome friends these past few years, but one of them moved away, so now I gotta find another one. But it's OK. It's just another adventure for me, Peter, and Joe." **If you _still_ can't figure out who Isabella's father is, you better get yourself tested. **"So how about you? How have you been?"

"Well...if you really wanna know...I've been having a wonderful time here in Danville!" She shouted to him in complete and utter joy. "I've made so many new friends, and I have the best boyfriend in the entire world!" She sighed dreamily, thinking about Phineas. "He's gifted, kind, generous, intelectual...he's everything a girl could ever want."

Quagmire looked at her for a moment like she was crazy. "Are you on any new medication lately?" He asked, while trying to figure out what Isabella had just said. **If you had to wait for me to tell you who Isabella's father was, well you're flat-out a dumbass.** "Come on, I've got an awesome day planned for us!" He grabed Isabella's arm and ran off towards town, with Phineas not too far behind.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incoporated!_**

Perry the Platypus rode up to the top floor of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. He opened up a window, and barged right in as Dr. Doofenshmirtz was looking at an old photo of him and his father, with whom he never got along. He was about to attack Doofenshmirtz when all of a sudden, he found himself caught in a spider-web.

"Perry the Platypus, as usual, your timing is uncanny, and by that, I mean COMPLETELY CANNY I see you got stuck in my spider-web trap, provided by famous _Spiderman_ actor Tobey Maguire!" **Like we need another Heath Ledger. **On cue, Tobey Maguire, dressed in a Black-suited Spiderman costume, came into the scene and showed off his incredible and questionable ability to shoot webs out of his wrists. "Thanks for helping me out, Tobey." Dr. D said as he handed Tobey a check for $20,000.

"No problem." He replied, taking the check. He then sighed and put his head down in shame. "Well, that was my high point of the day. Guess I'll go gamble." He walked out of the room and went downstairs. **Thank goodness he's not friends with Ozzy Osbourne, or else he'd be royally screwed.**

"Anyway, you're probably wondering what I'm up to. Well, I'll tell you, Perry the Platypus. You see, when I was a young boy, my father wasn't exactly...the most loving person in the world. In fact, he deserted me at one point! Y-You remember that, right? I've gone through this before? You know, with the whole disowning me, the him getting a dog and naming it Only Son, and me being the Lawn Gnome? We have? Good. OK. Anyway, since my father never paid any attention to me, especially on Father's Day, I have decided to ruin Father's Day for everyone in the entire Tri-State Area!" He walked over to his latest contraption, which was a giant orb machine with a big static electricity antenna attached to it. "With this! I call it...the _Father Betray-inator_!"

"With this, Perry the Platypus, all I have to do is press just one simple button, and in just 5 minutes, everyone in the Tri-State Area will have feelings of hatred and rrage for their father..unless of course, they're dead, of course. In that case, the ray would have absolutely no effect. But with others, this ray will cause them to unleash on their father all of their feelings of rage and anger, whether they have any or not!" He pressed the big blue button on his machine and the machine shot out a green lightning bolt, which traveled into the Tri-state area, and caused a little boy to start assaulting his father to no end. "Aha! You see, Perry the Platypus? It's as simple as that."

"Unfortunately, and now here comes the awkward part. Not as much for you, more for me. By doing it like this, I can only launch one bolt at a time. There is, however, an option that allows me to shoot everyone in the Tri-state area at once! The problem is, it takes several hours to charge up to that optimal level. And all I have to do is push this red button." Which he did. **Were you not just reading above!? Red means death! **"Now just another few hours until my ultimate triumph is at hand! A haha haha ha!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ferb, Buford, Baljeet, andc the Fireside Girls excluding Isabella were busy trying to come up with a way to protest the closing of the Danville Adventure Land Amusement Park. Currently, they were buusy writing an angry letter to city hall.

"And by closing down the Danville Adventure Land Amusement Park, which has been a public memorial to children and adults all over for many years..." Baljeet said outloud as Ferb wrote them all down. "...you are creating a travesty for summer vacations to come! How will children deal with the fact that their favorite amusement park is now destroyed?"

Ferb was writing these thoughts down, but was having serious doubts about them. "I still say we should show some emotion."

"Are you saying I am _not_ an emotional guy!?" **You study during _summer!_**

"Yes. Yes I am."

Baljeet sighed sadly. "OK, fine. Then how do _you_ propose we save the park?"

"How about we make a video? You know, of all of us in it, explaining why we don't want the park closed down."

"Would city hall really go for something like that?" Buford asked.

"It couldn't hurt to try." Adyson said, trying to remain optimistic. "I mean, we've got nothing to lose." **That's the kind of attitude Congress had when they tried to overhaul our Healthcare system.**

"Great! Now...who has a video camer?" Baljeet asked everyone, who all stood there, whistling casually as to avoid the subject. Ferb slapped his forehead.

"Ugh! Fine, I'll make one!"

And so he did. When he was finished, they all started brainstorming ideas on how to make their video.

* * *

And then there was Candace's troubles with Military School. Surprisingly, she was still cleaning the basement per Commandant Spangler's instructions. She had not eaten or slept for the past 5 hours, but she was determined to get through it and show Coommandant Spangler that she couldn't be pushed around.

She was finishing cleaning up her last piece of window in the room. When she did finish, she wiped her brow, smiled triumphately, and then ran upstairs at a break-neck pace to dial home.

Her mother, even though she was mad at Candace because of her constantly beserk behavior, was thrilled to hear from her. "Hey Candace. How's Military School going?" **What a stupid question to ask.**

"Horrible, mom. I hate it here! Nobody wants to talk to me! Apparently, they've seen me yell at Phineas and Ferb in the past, and perceive me as obnoxious, cruel, and un-fun."

"But...aren't you obnoxious, cruel, and un-fun?" **Yes.**

"No! I just wanted you to see their crazy plans everyday! But every time I try to explain it to them, they turn their backs on me! And thee Commander here is such a bossy-pants. I tell you, mom, he needs a chill pill." **So does Dick Cheney.**

"Look, honey, I know it may seem bad right now, but just give it a little time. I promise you, you will grow to love it in no time."

"Why can't I just come back home?"

"Because the doctors said you're not mentally stable. They said that time in that school is good for your mind, because it'll readjust to this new enviroonment, and perhaps that will help you stay calm here."

Candace still resented the idea, but knew Linda was right. "You're right, mom *sigh* I miss you guys."

"We miss you too, honey." And with that, the two hung up their phones. **Yeah, and we also miss your constant raving and ranting about some different crap everyday. Drop dead, woman. Seriously.**

* * *

Meanwhile, Isabella was having a hard time hanging out with her father, Glenn Quagmire, because of their past history together. But he was determined to make amends with Isabella no matter what it took. The first thing he tried was taking her fishing. So they went into a fishing store, bought fishing gear, and went out to Lake Nose to catch some fish.

"Ah, this is nice." Quagmire said, looking up at the shining sun. "Beautiful sky, beautiful lake, it all reminds me of how things were when you were younger." Those words struck a chord with Isabella.

She looked up from the lake at her dad. "Um...what did you say?"

"I said that's how things used to be when you were younger. quiet, beautiful, tranquill..." **Yeah, if only he was this good a liar when he was pulled over by the cops for DUI's.**

"Um...that's not exactly how I remem--"

"Shh, shh, sh-shh-shh! Annabella, please. Fishing isn't about words. It's about action. It's about waiting for the right time to reel in the fish and chow down on them."

"Annabella? My name's Isa--"

"Hang on, honey! I got a bite!" Quagmire stood up and started tugging on his reel to pull his fish in. **That's a sad day when your father doesn't even know your own name. **Struggling to do it, he handed the rod to Isabella, who, too weak to even grasp the rod carrying the enormous fish, was pulled into the lake at a lightning pace. She skipped over the water numerous times, clentching the rod so tightly that she was physically unable to let go. Phineas couldn't help but stre in awe and shock while his girlfriend was being beaten down by a fish.

After about 5 minutes, she was finally able to let go of the rod, and skitted across the water back to shore, where she ended up at her father's feet. Quagmire didn't seem to notice the bruising Isabella got. "Aw, damn, kid. You let go of the stinkin' rod! I told you to hang onto it. Now we have no dinner tonight." **Ever hear of a refrigerator? Or even a grocery store for that matter? How about a restaurant?**

The girl looked up at Quagmire with distantly cold and angry eyes, and then stood up, dusting herself off. She contemplated pushing the button to summon Phineas out, but figured she'd give it a little more time.

So next they went to a race car derby. Isabella seemed to have a good time watching the cars go around the track, and Quagmire was having fun drinking so much. "In the words of a comedian with a hillbilly puppet for a friend, It's the best show to follow when you're hammered." He said as they watched on. It was nearly halfway through, and Isabella was actually having some fun. But that all changed when it came down to the last few laps.

"YEAH, GET 'EM, YOU JERK!" He was yelling to the cars. "Get them! Come on, don't let that jackass pass you! Come on! Go!" Quagmire didn't really that during his rant, he had actually shoved Isabella in the back and caused her to fall down the many rows ocf chairs right into the race itself. Battered and injured, Isabella was completely helpless to get out of the way of the cares coming her way. Thankfully, the cars took evasive action and avoided her just in time, but they all ended up crashing into the wall and dsetroying their cars. **Just like that lady on the Taconic.**

Everyone in the stands was dumbfounded at what had happened, except for one...Quagmire. He wasn't just dumbfounded, he was pissed off, and even booing at his own daughter. "Boo! Get that girl off the road! She's ruining the race!" **And you're ruining a perfect opportunity to bond with your daughter.**

Suddenly, the audience members started to boo again. But it wasn't to Isabella, like Quagmire thought. It was to Quagmire, for not seeming to give a crap about her health & well-being. HE didn't get the message, though. And as for Isabella, she used all of her inner strength to stand up, dust herself off, and then growl angrily at her dad. Phineas, who was standing not too far away, witnessed this, and was horrified at what he was watching. He hated, however, to burst in out of nowhere to protect her, because he promised her that she was going to handle this on her own until she couldn't any longer.

Of course, that was going to be tough considering Quagmire was as stubborn as a brikc. I mean, he was sipping Tasty Juice while all this was happening.

"You know you're not allowed to bring in beverages from the outside, right?" One of the people next to him said. **That's why beverage sales at movie theaters are dropping.**

"Well, excuse me for wanting a healthy colon. That's why I drink this Tasty Juice instead of soda when I come here."

_Tasty Juice...drink it then convert it to pee._

"Wha the hell was that about?"

"Oh, you see, after they fired that little girl, Olivia, they hired me to become the spokesperson for Tasty Juice."

"Whatever happened to that little girl?"

"I heard Comedy Central picked her up and are using her for lots of nudity scenes."

"And thus ends yet another promising career." **Selling your body for money isn't a career. That's just disgusting.**

"Promising? The girl was going nowhere and she wasn't even that attractive."

"Oh god, I know."

"How did they even pick her in the first place? I mean , it's not like they can afford a casting call like NBC can."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to The Biggest Loser ranch in Los Angeles, where Allison Sweeney and Jillian Michaels are about to launch a fireworkr into the skies. Bob Harper walks into the scene just as the rocket takes off. "Uh, hey guys. What'cha doin' out here?"_

_"We're picking the cast for Season eight of the Biggest Loser." Jillian explained to him. _**Eight seasons? Jeez, you think the FCC woulda gotten involved by now.**

_"And just how are you doing that?"_

_"We're launching 16 rockets into the air and they're going to randomly hit someone's house, and that's how we get our contestants."_

_"But...how would that work if it lands in a house with more than one person in it?" _**Rock/Paper/Scissors?**

_"Welll..."_

_"And come to think of it, what if it lands in a home where nobody even sent in an application?"_

_Jillian and Allison looked at each other for a moment, and then back at Bob. "You guys just wated an excuse to launch those frieworks, didn't you?"_

_"Oh yeah! And besides, what's the worse that could happen?"_

_Sadly, Jillian, Allison, and Bob could never comprehend that one of the rockets launched would go completely haywire, travels across the country, and end up destroying Cleveland's house, while he was in the bathtub, too. _**This guy just can't seem to catch a break. I bet he wouldn't put up with this if there wasn't a $1,000 bonus in it for him.**

_The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked at the rocket that landed on his house, and pulled a card off of it. "Congratulations sir or madam. You have been selected to be a contestant for Season 8 of The Biggest Loser. Oh for god's sake!" He shouted throwing the card onto the ground. "I didn't even send an application! Every single year it's the same dang thing!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

And then there was the issue of Ferb, Buford, and the others trying to save the Danville Adventure Land Amusement Park from being destroyed. Unfortunately, their many ideas, such as angry letters and angry videos, did not work out. This is probably because despite their great acting skills, they can't star in a video without a little music, but the network cut the budget so harshly that they cannot afford to write original stuff anymore. **And by the network cutting the budget so harshly, he means he can't come up with an original song to save his life.**

They were practically out of ideas. "We're out of ideas!" Baljeet cried out.

"Don't give up, yet! I mean, we still have a couple of hours until they're supposed to tear it down." Holly said. "We can still think of something to do to protest against it!"

"But what else is there?" Buford asked. "I mean, we've practically tried everything else in the book. What else can we do? They're tearing down the park at 6:00, and it's now....3:30."

Ferb looked around for a moment, and thought for a moment. But he couldn't come up with anything else. "Um, how about we 'wing it'?" The others turned around and looked at him, mouths wide open in shock. "What?" **We hate it when Obama does it. Do you honestly think we'll love it any better with _you_ doing it?**

* * *

And if that wasn't bad enough, just imagine what Isabella is going through hanging out with her father, and then just imagine what Phineas is going through watching his girlfriend suffer like this.

But we'll get to that in a moment. Let's rejoin our hero, Perry the Platypus, still caught in Dr. Doofenshmirtz's spider-web trap, as he is about to unleash his Father Betray-inator on the Tri-state area. "Now, Perry the Platypus, in just a few moments, I will unleash my ultimate weapon on the Tri-state Area, and Father's Day will be completely ruined forever! And the best part is..."

While he was on his little rant, Perry was busy trying to get out of the web trap. At that point, his fedora shot spikes out of the rim, and started spinning around liek crazy. That allowed it to cut around the trap and free Perry, which, in turn, allowed him to go after Dr. Doofenshmirtz before his ray could activate at full power.

"Perry the Platypus!? You escaped from my web of spiders!? But how...hmm...come to think of it, perhaps that whole 'shoot webs out of your wrists' thing is really just special effects." **No sh*t, dumbass. **"Anyway, you are too late. In just 30 seconds, my machine will launch and Father's Day will be--" He was interrupted when Perry high-kicked him in his face and shoved him into the ground. After that, Dr. D had no choice but to fight his nemesis.

The fight didn't last long, and it didn't go very far. In fact, right around when the laser was about to fire, Perry was able to gain the upper hand and knock Doofenshmirtz into his machine, causing the blue button to be pressed. That, in turn, switched the machine's gears around so that only one person would be zapped. "Oh no! You made me press the bluebutton. Now only one person will be shot." **Didn't I just say that?**

3...2...1...and BOOM! THe machine shot out its laser, and as it shot up to the sky, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry looked on in awe. "Oh great. Now only one person is going to be hit with this ray, and I have absolutely no way of knowing who it's going to be. I can only imagine what's about to happen." Dr. D sighed. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

Now's a perfect time to check in on Isabella and her day with her father. **And she just how close she is to being pushed over the edge.** Oh she was close, alright. After the Nascar race, Quagmire decided that a movie would be the best thing to do next. He still had no idea how frustrated and paranoid Isabella was becoming, but that didn't stop him from trying to bond with her. And Phineas was still on their trail, waiting for Isabella to hit that red button, **Again with the red button.** and ask him to come to her rescue.

The two of them went to see "Forrest Gump", which, for some reason, was playing in the theaters this summer. "Oh boy, this is such a great movie. I love seing this retarded guy squirm. Don't you?"

"Sure, dad. Whatever you say." Isabella growled, trying her hardest not to explode. Her body was shaking from physical & mental exhaustion by this point, but Quagmire was too dumb to notice this.

"Oh boy, Nina, this movie brings back memories. I mean, your mother and I would watch this in the living room, and you were always right there with us, laughing along like that idiot redneck in the movie. Thank god we found something that could keep you quiet, cause you were annoying as hell as a baby."

All this talk was making her angrier and angrier. All of his lies, all of his actions, they were all starting to come up. What nobody saw coming was that Isabella was about to be hit by Doofenshmirtz's Father Betray-inator.

"And then when you turned 5 and you broke the TV and kicked yourself out of the house in shame, that was just the cutest moment of my life." Isabella was so close to snapping it was unbearable. "Oh, and another thing--"

"**_SHUT UP!!_**" She finally screamed at the top of her lungs, having been hit by the ray just a moment ago. "Shut up, right now!!" **Holy crap, I think she just collapsed the Twin Towers.**

"Whoa, Dina, shut up! You're gonna get us kicked out!"

"I don't care!! I'd rather be kicked out than have to listen to another minute of your stories!!"

"What?"

"You've been telling nothing but lies since you got here! You think everything was perfect when I was young, but the truth is, it wasn't! And do you know why!?"

"Uh...no..."

"Because _YOU MADE MY LIFE HELL!_ You made it hell for 5 years!"

"What are you talking about!?"

"You hit me, yelled at me, used blunt objects to abuse me with, kicked me out of the house more times than I can count, and wort of all...YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME!"

"Sure I do!"

"Oh really? Well then, what is it?"

Quagmire actually had to ponder on this for a moment before responding. "Charlie Sheen?" And his response didn't make Isabella any happier. **It's a sad day when your own father doesn't remember your name. But when he calls you a boy's name, that's just icing on the cake. Cake of despair, that is. **"What?"

"I'm a girl!"

"No you're not! You're a boy!"

"No, I'm a girl!!"

"No, my birth certificate of you specifically states that..." He then realized something and took out what appeared to be Isabella's birth certificate and studied it for a moment. It turned out to just be a forgery of the real thing. "Oh yeah, that's right. I photo-copied the original and changed your gender so I could get into an exclusive feternity. That's right. You _are_ a girl." **Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out, moron.**

"you always do this, dad! You contridict everything that's said around you! You deny ever abusing me, and you treat me and my mom like garbage!! Well, enough's enough, Quagmire!"

"HEY!" Quagmire barked loudly. "You don't call me that! You address me as 'father' or 'dad' only!!" **Can I call you "stupid" instead?**

"That's what I would call my dad! BUt sadly..." She leaned in, snarled, grabbed his collar, and punched both his eyes out...hard. "I don't have one." She finally put him down and stormed out of the theater. Phineas was there, waiting for her. She took his hand gently and they walked home together, with Phineas a bit scared for his life.

They returned back to Maple Street where they found their friends and comrades in Phineas's backyard, still brainstorming ideas. The two walked there to see what was going on.

"Hey guys." Isabella said, a bit cheerier than she just was. "What'cha doin'?"

"City Hall's closing down the Danville Adventure Land Amusement Park." Katie said sadly.

"Oh no!"

"Why would they do that?"

"No one's absolutely sure. But I blame politics." Ferb commented.

"So we've been trying to brainstorm ideas on how to protest it." Holly added.

"But whatever we tries fails." Ginger also added. "We tried angry letters, making a video...nothing works."

"Hmm..." Isabella and Phineas both pondered on the idea for a second, and in just a moment, both got an idea, which happened to be the same idea the other was thinking. "I got it!" They both shouted, which caused them to both look at each other in confusion. They looked away for a moment and blushed before returning their attention to their friends.

"Whoa." Isabella said, stunned.

"I think we have an idea that might just get them to change their minds." Phineas said, looking at his girlfriend, knowing that whatever he was thinking, she was thinking the exact same thing.

"So...what's your big idea?" Adyson asked them. **We'll need lots of peanut butter, some gravy, metal, and a celebrity endorsement. I suggest Derek Jeter.**

* * *

And so after telling them their big idea, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and all of the Fireside Girls began preparations for it. The hour of 7 was nearing, and they only had a little bit of time left. They all changed into Fireside Girls uniforms (Except for Phineas and Ferb) gathered as many kids in Danville as possible to join in, and then all gathered at the entrance to the Danville Adventure Land Amusement Park to form a human chain.

Locked in each other's arms, they stood there, showing their unity and support for the park.

"How much time do we have until they're supposed to tear this place down?" Isabella asked one of her fellow Fireside Girls.

"Um, they should be coming by any minute." Milly told her, checking her watch. They all stood there, prepared, but afraid, for whatever was about to happen next.

And then, in just moments, a bunch of bulldozers started making their way towards the entrance to the amusement park. There were a bunch of drivers who were drinking while they were driving, which could only spell disaster. Of course, they didn't notice everyone standing there like a human chain until they were just a few feet away. At that point, they all stopped short just in time before they hurt any of them.

"Hey kiddies! Move it or lose it, buckos!" The front runner shouted, waving his hand with his bottle in it around like an idiot.

"No!" They all shouted in unison.

"Look, I don't want to hurt any of you kids, so just move yourselves out of the way before I run you over like I do my dinner!" **You eat stray cats for dinner!?**

"If you want us to move, you'll have to do it over our dead bodies!" Milly yelled out.

"Yeah, 'cause we ain't moving!" Holly agreed.

"Do you really think I'm intimidated by a bunch of snot-nosed brats?"

"Do _you_ really think _we're_ intimidated by a big, scary contractor?" Adyson asked him. "You guys aren't even supposed to do that much anyway."

"OK, kiddies. You asked for it." He said menacingly as he slowly backed his bulldozer up about 200 feet. Afterwards, he switched it into overdrive and drove up to them at about 150 miles an hour. Seeing how fast he was going made everyone there but Phineas and Ferb scream. Ferb wasn't one to scream, and Phineas had a back up place. He let go of his grip of Isabella for a split second and pulled out a remote, and pressed a button on it. This, in turn, activated the hidden metal ramp that was just ten feet in front of them, and went up to about 70 feet tall.

The guy driving his tractor didn't notice this until it was too late, and he was launched up into the sky, all the way across the amusement park. The others were so scared that they all instantly got out of their bulldozers and ran away from the scene, screaming their heads off. Nobody but Ferb knew what happened, but they all cheered at it anyway.

"Phineas, what happened?" Isabella asked.

"Well, I figured these guys would be either too stubborn or too hot-headed to listen to reason, so I installed this ramp right here. I intended it to use it for _our_ getaway, but this works just as well." **Cause everybody knows people who drive bulldozers have the worst coordination.**

"Nice work! Because of you, the park is now safe and able to reopen again!"

"You know they weren't even licensed to tear this place down in the first place." Ferb said. "They did it because they felt like doing it."

"Well that isn't very nice." **Neither was the way the Heene family played us like fools!**

"Oh who cares!? The point is, the park's safe now! And it's thanks to you, Phineas!" Isabella felt herself hug Phineas tightly with joy in her heart. It was only after she realized Ferb was also there that she stopped and complimented him as well. "Oh, and you too, Ferb."

"Oh stop. You're making me blush." **You're making me puke.**

And so all of the children returned home to their families, including Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and her fellow Fireside Girls troop.

"By the way, Isabella, we never got a chance to ask. How did your day with your dad go?" Gretchen asked her troop leader, who simply smirked angrily in her direction.

"If you don't mind, Gretchen, I'm _really_ not in the mood to hear the word 'dad' right now." She snarled, but trying to keep her cool.

"Bad day, huh?" Katie interfered.

"The worst! But I don't really feel like talking about it right now." They arrived at her house as she let out a big yawn and tried to dust herself off from the bruising she received today. Boy, oh boy, how was she going to explain this to her mother? **Throw in a celebrity death! That always distracts them! **"Right now, all I wanna do is change into my pajamas, crawl into bed, and take a _long_ nap." She let out another yawn as her troops all said goodnight to her, and parted home. Ferb also said his goodnights before heading back to their home. Isabella wanted Phineas to stay behind to talk to him for a moment.

"Phineas, thank you so much for staying with me the entire day. You knew that I was scared of him, and I knew you wanted to do something bigger with your day, and I really appreciate it." She said sincerely as she kissed his cheek, making him smile.

"No worries, Isabella." He replied back. "You know I love you, and I'd do anything for you. Seeing you smile is exactly what keeps me going to do these crazy, wacky adventures with you guys. I'm just sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them to." **That's what everybody's saying about electing President Obama to the White House.**

"That's OK, Phineas. I realize now that he's just the same old jerk he was 5 years ago, but you know what? I don't need him in my life. As long as I have you…and all of my friends, nothing can hurt me on the inside." **But the same can't be said about your limbs. **

"Glad to hear it." They shared a passionate kiss and another warm hug. "You know, Isabella, before we were going out, the only reason I would do any of my wacky projects was to...you know, maybe impress you enough to ask me out."

"Really!?"

"Yeah."

"And the only reason I ever participated in your projects was because I thought you'd ask _me_ out on a date. Oh we are so made for each other." They nodded in agreement, and hugged once more before Phineas said his goodnights to his girlfriend and returned home. Isabella went inside, changed into her pajamas, crawled into her bed without even eating dinner, and fell asleep right away. **We hope you enjoyed this half-assed story of why Glenn Quagmire is so totally screwed up. I know I didn't. **

Meanwhile, by the park, the tractor that had been launched off the metal ramp was about to touch ground, and by doing so, it accidentally launched a nuclear missile that had been sitting there for a few days, waiting to be launched. It took off and headed into the skies, completely out of control. Ironically, it also landed in none other than Cleveland's house, destroying the entire front of it, and just like the last time, he was in the bathtub.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He noticed the note attached to it and read it aloud: "Congratulations sir or madam. You have been selected to be a contestant for Season 9 of The Biggest Loser. Oh come on!" He shouted angrily! I keep telling those jackasses that I don't send in applications!"

**The End.**

**I hope you enjoyed this first episode. I know I enjoyed writing it! I also hope you enjoyed the _Everybody Hates Chris_ reference. See if you can figure it out.**

**Next Time: Episode 2: Isabella's nightmares come back.**

**Expected Update: ??**


	2. 2: Old Habits Don't Die Hard

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 2: Old Habits Don't Die Hard (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: The second part of a 3-part mini series which I like to call "The Chronicles of Isabella: Father Knows No Best". Isabella has recurring nightmares about her past life with her dad, and as a result, she starts resenting the idea of fatherhood altogether, and even starts a campaign to eliminate all essence of fatherhood in the Tri-state area. So Phineas and his friends make it their mission to see to it that Isabella gets the help she needs. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenhsmirtz realizes that his hatred for mankind traces back to his strained relationship to his father, and attempts to build a machine that will make his father love him.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also any songs featured in this FanFiction are also not mine unless I say they are, which probably will not be the case! Plus, some cutaways I post may not be mine. If I don't post a note saying it's taken from _insert TV show name here_, then it's mine.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The full moon was out, and shining over the Danville neighborhood of Maple Street. It was 8:00 at night, and everybody was asleep. Everybody, that is...except for Isabella.

No, sadly, she was having nightmares. But these weren't just any nightmares. No, these were about none other than her father. If you _still_ haven't figured out who her father is by _now_, you've either been dropped on your head at birth or you spend way too much time outside.

_(Cue Nightmare Sequence)_

_Four year old Isabella Garcia-Shapiro was busy playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. Downstairs, her father, Quagmire, was drunk and watching TV. It was his favorite program "Sabado Gigante", and he hated to miss even a single moment. Unfortunately, the elctricity went out a moment later, causing him to miss the last 5 minutes of his program. Enraged and intoxicated, Quagmire marched up to Isabella's room and slammed the door open. Afterwards, he marched up to her daughter, took away her barbie dolls, and threw them out the window._

_"You broke my TV!" He shouted as he kneeled down and smacked his daughter hard in the face._

_"What are you talking about!?"_

_"Shut up! You don't speak unless you're spoken to!" Quagmire shouted back, and then proceeded to smack her again, harder this time. "You broke my TV, and I'm gonna m-make you pay for it!" He began slurring his speech now, suffering from his drinks._

_"Dad, stop it! STOP IT!" The traumatized girl cried out, but to no success. Her mother was out grocery shopping, so she was left alone with her father, which frightened her greatly. "STOP IT!!"_

_As much as Isabella screamed & wailed, Quagmire wouldn't stop. He wanted to make sure Isabella suffered for the "wrong" that she did. Thing was, she didn't do a darn thing wrong. Quagmire's just a douchebag._

_(End Nightmare Sequence)_

Isabella sat up immediately and screamed. The girl took a quick look around and saw she was still in her bedroom, still in her bed, still having nightmares. She was sweating, and breathing heavily.

She got out of bed and went downstairs to get a glass of water, as those always helped her fall back asleep whenever she would have nightmares. While in the kitchen, she checked the wall clock, and it read 3:45 am. For the third time tonight, Isabella had to suffer the wrath of her own dreams. She had been awakened twice before, and each time, had a harder time getting to sleep. But that didn't stop her from trying to go back to sleep.

She laid in her bed, awake for several hours, trying to get back to sleep. Each time she shut her eyes, they would snap back open. Finally, she was able to go back to sleep, but was awakened again by the same nightmare, only this time, it got worse, and had scared her worse than ever. It had scared her so much, in fact, that she had wet the bed, the first time she's done that in years.

By 7:00, her alarm clock was ringing. Each time the nightmare flashed before her eyes, she only became angrier and angrier. _All those times he beat me up. _She thought to herself. _All those times he accused me of wrongdoing. All those times he made me cry and feel bad about myself! All those times he could've been a good father, but chose to be a BIG FAT STINKING JERKFACE!! _She kept thinking, getting even madder than ever.

After several minutes of ringing, Isabella finally snapped and punched her alarm clock off of her dresser draw. She then got out of bed quickly and looked at some old pictures of her and Quagmire, and angrily threw it against the wall. "You're no father! You're nothing but a big, fat jerk! My mom told me that a dad was supposed to love you and take care of you and support you no matter what happens in life. But...I guess she was wrong." She took a deep breath before taking the rest of her pictures with her dad, and throwing them on the ground, and stomping them into nothing. "There's no such thing as "Fatherhood". It's all one, big, stupid hoax!"

She paced around anxiously in her room. "I wish I had seen it coming! I was too blinded by my desire to have a normal relationship with him! But now I know better! Now I understand the truth! For the first time in my life, I can see the light!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas and Ferb was also awake and eating breakfast with their mother, father, and pet platypus.

"So boys, what are you going to do today?" Linda asked her two sons.

"We're not sure yet. We're either going to build the world's largest trampoine in our backyard, or design our own reality show." Phineas, the talkative brother, replied to his mother, as they each took a bite out of their breakfast.

"Oh you boys and your imagination."

While they were doing that, their father was busy cooking up some brand muffins. It was also at this time that Isabella stormed into the home, with an angry look on her face, though she tried to hide it. "Oh hey Isabella."

"Hello, Phineas." She said calmly while still maintaining a sweetness in her tone. "What'cha doin'?"

"We're not sure yet of what we're going to do. Why? Do you need me to do something with you today?"

"No. I'm just asking."

"Oh good morning, dear." Lawrence said as he came over to the table with a tray full of muffins. "I didn't hear you come in. Would you kids care for a muffin?"

She clentched her fists as she looked at the tray of muffins Lawrence was holding. She slowly grabbed the tray from Lawrence, and then, without warning, slammed it into the ground, breaking the tray into thousands of tiny pieces, and spilling every muffin on it, to the surprise of everyone in the room. Nobody could say anything. They were all in too much shock to say anything, especially Phineas.

Isabella, after that, looked up at Lawrence, snarled in his face, and then left the room. "Why don't you take your stinkin' muffins and just disappear!!" She shouted on her way out, which caused some people to stare in a shocked way.

"Whoa, what's her problem today?" Linda asked while washing the dishes.

"I don't know. This isn't like her at all!" Phineas shouted out. "Isabella's usually sweet, charming, kind, and adorable. But this...this Isabella was bitter, cold, cruel...what's gotten into her?"

"Maybe she's finally becoming a woman." Lawrence joked, but neither of the brothers understood it.

"No...I think it's something bigger. I think she was really upset with her visit from her day yesterday. She said that he didn't seem to care about her well-being at all and that he didn't seem to care that he was here at all."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He was repeating his old habits. Isabella was getting hurt and he was either doing nothing about it or he was the one doing it to her."

"Oh deary. That does sound like a conundrum."

"What should I do, guys?"

"I don't know, Phineas. I mean, if you are right, and Isabella is reliving her past, then I guess the only one who can actually help her is her dad himself. But it looks like he doesn't want anything to do with her."

"Then I guess it's up to me, then. But how am I gonna get her to calm down? Hmm...what to do, what to do, what to--hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Meanwhile, the family pet, Perry the Platypus, had snuck off and gone down to his lair through a secret entrance in the side of the staircase. "Good morning, Agent P." And there on the big screen was his boss, Major Monogram. "We've just received reports that Dr. Doofenshmirtz was seen in the Tri-State Area carrying a big potatoe sack, inside of it, we believe, carried a human being. We don't know who it was, or why he did it. There are also reports that he went into the Evil Emporium to gather more supplies to build another evil contraption of some sort."

"Sir, if we don't know what the contraption is, why are we having Agent P go after Dr. Doofenshmirtz?" Monogram's intern, Carl, asked off-screen. "I mean, he may be doing something good with his thing this time."

"Well, that's why we have Agent P here, Carl. Honestly, get it together, man. Anyway, we need you to snuff out his scheme and put a stop to it!"

The Platypus saluted his boss and then took his aircraft out to seek out Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

* * *

And if you think that's bad enough, just wait and see what Isabella is up to.

Actually, don't wait. Tune in right now. You know, unless you have something better to do. But what could be better than seeing something go terribly wrong? I'll tell you. Absolutely nothing, and anybody that says otherwise is retarded. Anyway,

We rejoin our heroin, Isabella, over at city hall. She had her Fireside Girls uniform on, and was standing in front of one of the representatives of City Hall (which was just the black judge from _Family Guy_)

"And explain it to us again why you want to abolish fatherhood from the Tri-state Area altogether?" The judge asked the little girl, who replied by clentching her fists and holding them up, her eyes filling up with rage.

"Because dads are nothing more than liars, cons, and they're just plain mean!" She shouted into their faces, causing them to cringe. "I mean, they'll say they're going to work when really they're cheating on their wives. Oh, and when they accidentally do something wrong, they have the _nerve_ to blame it on their children! The nerve of some guys! Ugh, sometimes I don't get dads!"

The three representatives exchanged looks to each other for a moment, and then returned their attention to Isabella. "Um...look, sweetie...aren't you a little young to know how marriage works?"

She looked at the 3 of them for a moment, ad then gave her reply. "No. And I especially don't think I'm too young to understand what it feels like to be abused, hurt, and treated like trash by your dad!" This statement alone caused the three of them to give this a second look.

"What?"

"I know what it feels like to be treated like dirt by a dad! I know what it feels like to be smacked around by him every single day of my short life! I know what it feels like to feel abandoned after your dad had just kicked you out of the house! And I know what it feels like to think that you're worth nothing in this world!"

They were beginning to tear up while listening to Isabella's story.

"But luckily, I made friends with one of the nicest, most charming, and fun-loving boys you'll ever come across in your life! And now, we couldn't be closer!"

"You mean that Phineas Flynn kid?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"We saw your concert back in California."

"Oh."

"Well, look, kid, the government has their hands tied up at the moment right now with bigger issues, such as Healthcare Reform, or the War in Iraq."

"But it's clear to us that you have a lot of passion for this subject. You have a lot of issues with your father -- do you have a picture of him?"

"Sure. Here." SHe took out a picture of Quagmire and handed it to them, which they lall studied carefully. To be honest, they knew too well who Quagmire was and were shocked to see that he had a daughter.

"Holy cow, _this guy_'s your father?"

"Yeah."

"We've arrested this guy over 20 times!"

"Aha! So you do know what I mean!"

"Well, actually, no. Those were all on DUI charges. In fact, he still owes us over $50,000 for them."

"Oh."

"Don't get discouraged. Look, you really have a big heart for this, so why don't you start a campaign?"

"A campaign?"

"Yeah, a campaign about Abusive Fathers Awareness? You could gather other people in your similar situation and you could all rally against. To do these kinds of things, it takes the right kind of passion, and I think you have it."

"Really?"

"Sure. And just think, if you actually manage to pull this off, it could be the biggest breakthrough through relationship abuse we've ever seen since OJ Simpson!"

* * *

And that is exactly what Isabella decided to do. She started her campaign by forming a small group calledthe _National Association for the Abused and Traumatized_, or NASAT for short.

"I call this meeting of the Nation Association Supporting the Abused and Traumatized to order!" Isabella called out as she gathered the attention of the many mothers & children who were abused by fathers. "Now, first, I want to thank each and every one of you for coming out to support this cause."

"What's this supposed to be, anyway?" One of the eager mothers asked Isabella.

"This, my friend, is the NASAT, the Nation Association Supporting the Abused and Traumatized, a support group that deals with families that have experienced abuse by the hands of their husband or father."

"Aren't you a little young to start a support group on a topic this serious?"

"No! No I'm not, and you wanna know why?" The mother nodded to Isabella. "Because I too have experience pain, abuse, and betrayal at the hands of my dad!" Everyone in the room gasped. "That's right. I know exactly what you guys are going through. My dad made my life hell from the time I was a baby to the time I turned 5! It was living nightmare! Day in and day out, he would smack me, shove me into furniture, and leave me out on the streets to die!"

"Five long years of this torture, and I still get those nightmares every single day! No one should have to live like this! Nobody should have to suffer and live their lives in fear! It's time we made a change!"

"Yeah! She's right!"

"My daddy touched me in ways Disney Channel would never let me say!" A little girl shouted out.

"My husband cheated on me many times, but when I confronted him about it, he hit me!" Another woman shouted out.

"My ex-husband stole my credit card passwords, used them to withdraw all the money in my bank accounts, had my cars towed, and had my home repossessed before I divorced him!" A third mother of 5 shouted. "I had to quit my job, change my name, move to anotehr state, and get a new job as a plumber! I hate it!"

"See? This is the stuff I'm talking about! For too long, us females have been at the mercy of abusives husbands and fathers! For too long, they have taken advantage of us, and made us believe they are superior over us! But it's time for a change!"

"_YEAH!_" Everyone yelled simultaniously.

"It is time we showed the fathers and husbands of this world that they can't push us girls around anymore!"

"**_YEAH!!_**"

"They've pushed us around for too long, so now it's time to push back! It's time for us women to take charge once again!"

"**_YEAAAAH!!!"_** By now, every single person in her support group was on Isabella's side, and who could blame them? They all had 2 common goals: an obsession with Paul McCartney and a desire to end abuse between husband & wife and father & child.

So they all began their push for equality by creating flyers that raised awareness of abusive fathers & husbands. The flyers each had a picture of a muscular family man punching a little boy into a coma while her mother was on the other side of the paper, already beaten and unconscious. It was revolting, but it spread the message out. Even some fathers who were actually good fathers got the message, and began supporting her as well. ANd that's just the beginning of it. But we'll get to that in just a bit...

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Perry was about to infiltrate Dr Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. But first, he had to get past his super powerful Anti-Platypus defense system, which consisted of a pool full of sharks, a laser grid, and lame jokes from Jeff Foxworthy. Though Perry was able to get through all of them with great ease, he failed to get past Dr. D's simplest trap, which, as a result, caused him to be chained to the wall, in a way that mimiced the way Jesus was crucified.

"Perry the Platypus, as usual, your timing is uncanny." The evil scientist said as he entered the room from the shadows. "Now I'm sure you're wondering what kind of evil scheme I'm up to, Perry the Platypus. But, to tell you the truth, it's not done yet. I don't have any evil scheme to tell you about because it isn't finished yet. So, would you mind just waiting here for a few minutes while I put the finishing touches on? You wouldn't? OK, great. Thank you, Perry the Platypus. I promise you it won't be too long." The mad scientist left the room and went into another one, and after that, construction noises were heard.

It appeared that Dr. Doofenshmirtz was telling the truth, but Perry didn't want to wait to see what he had in store for him.

* * *

And while Agent P had his hands tied up..literally...Isabella had hers tied up with spreading awareness for abusive family men. She, along with other people in her support group, the NASAT, were handing out flyers and giving motivational speeches around town. The campaign was even getting the attention of fathers & husbands who were not abusers, the congress, and even the media.

It even got the attention of another support group. Well...actually, what happened was they bumped into each other and they dropped their flyers.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Isabella shouted to the overweight male.

"_You_ watch where you're going!" The male shouted back as they tried to pick up their flyers, only to realize they had each picked up a flyer of the opposite support group. "The NASAT, The National Association Supporting the Abused and Traumatized." The male read outloud, and then looked at Isabella.

"The NAAFP, the Nation Association for the Advancement of Fat People." Isabella read aloud, and then looked at the male. "You started a support group that makes people feel good about being overweight?"

"Yes. Yes I did. _You_ started a support group that raises awareness about abusive fathers?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Aren't you a little young to know what an abuser is?"

"No. Nobody is ever too young if they've been through it."

"You mean you've been abused in the past before?"

"Yes. Here's a picture of my dad if you want." Isabella took out a picture of Glenn Quagmire,and handed it to the male, who was shocked to see it.

"Whoa, _this _dude? This guy is your dad?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm next-door neighbors with this guy! Holy crap, I had no idea that he had a child! And you're telling me that you're this guy's daughter, and that he used to hit you when you were young?"

"Yeah!"

The guy thought about it for a moment, looking at the photo. "OK, yeah. I could see where you might think that. You know what, good luck with your support group." He along with his fellow overweight friends took the flyer with them and left the scene, while Isabella took his flyer and left with her support group in the following direction.

"Boy, I didn't think Quagmire had it in him." The guy said to his group as they were walking along.

"Yeah. Losing a parent to the war in Iraq can be devestating." One of his fellow fat friends said which caused them all to glare at him, with a "Oh-my-god-there's-n-way-you-are-this-stupid" glare.

And so Isabella and the NASAT continued to rally against abusive men, and gradually, and by that I mean in te coure of a few hours, they had nearly the entire Tri-state Area's support. Nearly is the key word, because the entire Maple Street was against Isabella's support group. But it wasn't like they were supporting the idea of abusive fathers. It was just her course of actions against the idea that they had a problem with.

"Oh man!" Phineass said as he showed the flyer to his friends. "Isabella's going around town telling people that men are abusive and evil! We can't let her do this!"

"Now, now, Phineas, don't overreact just yet." Lawrence, his stepfather, said trying to calm his son down. "I think we should all praise Isabella for standing up for her beliefs. She's taking her own past experience with her father and using it to end abuse all across the Tri-state area."

"But dad, what if she takes it too far, and, oh I don't know, she happens to end all types of fatherhood in the Tri-state area?"

"Oh don't worry, my boy. She's a very intelligent girl. I'm sure she has things under control." For the time being that was true. But unfortunately, thing swere about to get way out of hand. But we'll get to that in just a few moments.

* * *

As for right now, though, let's turn it back to Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Dr. D was busy in another room building some sort of contraption -- nobody is sure what it is -- while he had Agent P tied up. Now our little Platypus friend was not going to let him succeed in whatever he had planned. So he was trying his best to break out of his trap.

He reached down into one of his pockets and pulled out a laser pen. Despite the tight grip the rope had on him, he still managed to turn the laser on, point it at the rope, and began cutting himself out.

It took him a good 5 minutes to do so. But that was mainly because the grip was so bad at first that Perry could barely cut anything. But as time progressed, he was able to cut through faster and faster until finally, he was completely free. After that he busted down the door into Dr. D's room and saw him working on his invention...and he saw Doofenshmirtz's father tied up to a bedpost.

"Perry the Platypus, but how did you escape my --" Agent P showed him the laser pen. "Oh, a laser pen, huh? Th-That's kinda clever, Perry the Platypus. I gotta give you props for that. It seems that you have arrived just in time for me to unveil my latest and greatest invention. I assume you've also seen that I have my father here. He's tied up over there by my bedpost. I know what you might be thinking, 'Doof, why do you have your father tied up like that?' Well, I'll tell you, Perry the Platypus."

"You see, for far too long, I have been longing to take over the Tri-State Area. But recently -- and by recently, I mean yesterday -- I've come to realize that my hatred of the Tri-State Area stems back to my horrible childhood. So...I have decided to rectify all of my horrible memories. How, you ask? Well, I decided that I should start with my parents. I will make my very own parents fall victim to my latest and greatest creation...my Parent-Child-Bond-inator! And the first one up is...my own father!"

Heinz pointed to his father in sheer anger as he pulled out a small ray gun that looked alot like his old "Misbehav-inator" and pointed it at his tied up dad. "Heinz, my boy, what are you doing to me!?" His father spoke in an Irish, yet deep voice.

"Don't give me that garbage, father! You know exactly why I'm doing this!"

"No. No I don't. Why are you doing this?"

"Well, let's see...where should I start? Ah, oh yes, I know. You and your wife failed to pick me up from the hospital on the day of my birth, force me to be the family lawn gnome, disowned me and force me to get a job at a carnival, made me wear stupid looking dresses to scool because you thought Roger was going to be a girl-"

"Heinz-"

"-favored a mangy mutt over your own flesh and blood-"

"Heinz!"

"-you wouldn't even let me swim in a swimming pool, and furthermore-"

"**_HEINZ!_**" His father shouted, finally getting his disturbed son's attention.

"What!?"

"All of those events were your mother's idea."

"What? What in blazes are you talking about this time?"

"Look, your mother wasn't always...the nicest person in town when you were a young lad."

"Yes, I think we already established that."

"But I would never want to do that to my own children."

"You--wait, you _didn't _want to abuse me the way you did?"

"No! You see, Heinz, your mother was always...a bit controlling."

"Controlling?"

"Yeah. It was her idea that I make you the lawn gnome, it was her idea that she make dresses for you to wear even though she knew that she was expecting a baby boy, and it was her idea that I get a dog and name it Only Son to shun you."

"You...y-you mean to tell me the trauma and the abuse I suffered as a child, the cause of my very fragile self-esteem, and the reason I have repeatedly tried to take over the Tri-State Area...is because of my own mother!?"

"Yes, that's right."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz pondered on this for a brief moment, while Agent P looked on, not sure whether to attack yet or not. "Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. But, but let me ask you this. If you knew this entire time that she was the one making my life miserable, why didn't you say anything to her. I mean, you _are _her husband."

"Hello? What part of "controlling" did you not understand!?"

"What?"

"If I ever went back on her judgement, she would beat me in my sleep until I'm good and black n' blue."

"Yikes. That sounds painful."

"It was."

"So you mean to tell me that everything I went through, including those bedtime stories you told me just to wet the bed, were my mother's idea?"

"Well...not all of them. Those bedtime stories were my idea."

The mad scientist glared at his dad for a moment, conflicting feelings surrounding his thoughts.

"So...what do you say you untie me and we start over, huh? Huh?"

He pondered on this moment as well. Thinking about it for a moment, plus his father chuckling at this moment, he stared the man down, which caused him to stop chuckling on the spot. "I'm still going to blast you."

* * *

At that very same moment, Isabella had just finished a press conference with members of City Hall and many residents of the Tri-State Area, all were in support for her cause. She was now in a group meeting with her fellow NASAT members.

"OK, guys, time to brainstorm! We already have more than half of Virginia on our side!" She said to them praising them for their hard work. "So how do we convince the rest of the Tri-State Area to side with uss?"

"I have a suggestion." One of the mothers said. "Our campaign is against only abusive family men."

"Yeah. So?"

"But what if we were to extend our campaign past just men who _are_ abusers?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, there are a lot of men out there who have been convicted of abusing their families in the past, but they may have gotten off a little bit too easily, and they may just strike again in the future. I'm just saying that there are a lot of guys out there who have commited this unforgivable actin the past, but they're out of prison and back with their familes. Who's to say they won't strike again, and this time, there may be nothing the police can do about it?"

"We'll probably end up living in a world run by overlords consisting of black guys and fat people!" Another lady shouted out.

"You're right! And it won't be just us! It'll be the entire country, maybe even the entire world!" Isabella agreed, but was quickly changing her mind. "But not all men are bad! I mean, I know lots of my freidns' fathers, and they all seem perfectly nice, and they don't have any criminal records."

"Maybe so, but still, I think we should at least try to rally for it. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

Oh lord, who knows? Well, that's what the kids on Maple Streets are asking.

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Diane Simmons."

"Our top news today, City Hall is negotiating to instate a new law that, if passed, will incarcerate all men that have at least one child, are over the age of 21, and are deemed by the Danville police department as unfit to be a parent. And as you know, the Danville pollice department have extremely high standards for being a parents. That's why they're all fat, stinkin' drunks."

"This, after a support group called the National Association Supporting the Abused and Traumatized, or NASAT for short, was started by a 10-year old girl who is basing this group on her own past experiences with an abusive father, claiming that he had abused her physically and emotionally as a young girl."

"Tri-State Area mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz will have a look at the new bill today and will either approve the new law or reject it at 5:00 this afternoon."

"Tune into Channel 5 Action News or log onto our website at to keep posted as we update you on this story."

"We now go live to Ollie Williams for the Black-u-weather forecast. What can we expect, Ollie? Can we expect the Yankees and the Phillies to play tonight?"

_"MAYBE!"_

"What makes you say that, Ollie?"

"_IT'S GONNA RAIN!"_

"Thanks Ollie. And now this."

Phineas turned the TV off as he and his friends sat there in shock.

"Oh man, this is awful!" Phineas shouted out. "Isabella's trying to destroy everything that is parenthood throughout the Tri-state Area."

"I agree, Phineas, it seems that she might be taking this a little bit too far." Lawrence agreed. "She's taking her anger towards her dad out on the Tri-State Area, and kids across the state are going to pay the price."

"We have to stop her. My dad's the closest thing I've got to an actual parents, and he's over in Iraq!" Buford shouted out.

"But how? How are we going to convince Isabella to stop her campaign?" Baljeet asked. "It appears as though Isabella is harboring lingering feelings over her relationship with her father."

"You're right, Baljeet. She's upset over her own experience so she's trying to prevent other people from going through the same thing. But what she's really doing is destroying all parenthood in the state of Virginia! What are we going to do?"

"Um...if I may make a suggestion," Ferb interrupten. "I believe Isabella is suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"What's that?"

"It's an anxiety disorder that can develop after one is exposed to one or more traumatic events that can cause extreme physical harm. In this case, the trauma is the abuse she suffered as a child at the hands of her father."

"Whoa. That sounds scary. Why didn't she tell us?"

"She probably had no idea herself. Usually, one is either in denial of this disorder, or completely unaware of it."

"So how do we treat it and make her better?"

"Like all disorders, this needs to be diagnosed and treated quickly before it explodes out of our control. Usually, this kind of stuff is only seen in war veterans, so the fact that Isabella is experiencing these symptoms is cause for concern. I suggest we take her to see a professional."

"Wrestler?"

"No! A therapist!"

"Well where are we going to find a therapist that would want to work with her at this hour? I mean, the Mayor's supposed to sign that bill at 5:00 tonight."

"Yes...which is still 4 hours away."

"Oh. Well that gives us plenty of time. But I doubt we're going to find a therapist that'll work with her before 5:00 and for absolutely no money. Looks like it's up to us! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

* * *

That was the official call for drastic measures. So Phineas, Ferb, Buford, Baljeet, and the other Fireside Girls raced out to City Hall and found Isabella. Her troop members were able to convince her that they were holding a special Fireside Girls ceremony in her honor for "her amazing achievements in leadership". Wow, wonder how long it took for them to come up with that one.

They even had to blindfold her so she wouldn't suspect anything.

"Wow, guys. This is all too much." She said, gleaming with joy about her alleged "award". Boy was she in for a disappointment. "You shouldn't have."

"Oh it's the least we could do for you." Milly answered back, though deep down, she felt horrible about lying to her own scout leader. "You've been such a great leader to us that we figured this is the least we could do for you."

"Oh thanks, guys. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Once they all arrived back at Phineas and Ferb's house, they showed her to the backyard, where there were two couches set up, one for Phineas, and one for Isabella.

They removed her blindfolds slowly so as not to scare her, but also so she wouldn't freak out on them. When she saw the couches laid out like that, she became curious and suspicious. "What is all this?"

"Ah, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro." Phineas said in a low voice as he came out into the backyard, wearing a tuxedo and a mustache (a parody of Dr. Phil) and holding a clipboard. "Right on time."

"Phineas, what are you doing?"

"Who is this "Phineas" which you speak of? I am Dr. Feelbetter, and I am here to make sure you get the psychological help you need."

"Psychological? I knew it! You all think I'm crazy!"

"No, no! Of course we don't!" Adyson told her. "We just think you're going about this the wrong way."

"Yeah, you never had anyone to talk to about this. So we decided that you needed to talk to a professional to get these emotions out of you."

"Unfortunately, we didn't think we had enough time to find one, so I decided to learn all there is to learn about professional therapy." Phineas replied as he led his girlfriend to one of the couches.

"Oh please, what do you know about therapy?" Isabella snarled back to him, making him flinch slightly.

"More than you know, Isabella. Now just relax and let me do the work." Phineas took a seat on the other couch and flipped through his clipboard. "OK, now tell me something about yourself."

"What!? What's the point of that? You already know everything there is to know about me. But if I must..." Isabella sighed and layid down on the couch. "My name is Isabella. I'm 10 years old, and I have a boyfriend named Phineas Flynn."

"Uh-huh. Now tell me something about your family.

"I havfe a mother named Vivian, and...and..." Now she had to say something about her dad, but was finding it increasingly difficult to do so. "I...I have a...a father...named Glenn."

"Mmm-hmmm....I sense that you hold some hostility towards your father. Is this true?"

"Yes!"

"And why is that, Isabella?"

"Because since I was a very young child, he abused me in ways I can't describe on TV, he talked down on me, made me feel miserable, and even disowned me at one point! It was horrible!" She was tearing up, which made her feel worse.

Phineas nodded as he looked at his distraught girlfriend. "Uh huh. Now, Isabella, would you mind going into some detail as to some of the abuse you suffered as a child?"

"You want me to talk about my dad's abuse?"

"Yes. Yes I would."

The startled girl gulped, sweating a little bit. "Well, here goes…"

"Take your time."

She wiped her brow and took a deep breath in. "Well, I guess it all started when I was around 2 years old. I noticed that my dad was coming home late at night and he was acting really strangely. I can't exactly describe it, but his speech was more slurred than normal, and he was much more violent. Whenever something would happen and I was there, he would hit me, really hard, even if I wasn't the one that did it."

"And it only got worse as I got older. The more time passed, the more abusive he became. Soon he even started cursing at me and calling me names and talking down on me! In fact, one time he even said that I was a no-good, dead-beat hooligan and that my life was meaningless. That was probably the worst moment of my life! I ran up to my room and cried the entire night!"

She was even starting to cry now, which concerned Phineas greatly. He put down his clipboard and really focused on what Isabella was saying. "And then, when I turned 4 years old, my mom tried to throw me the best birthday party ever! But then my dad came home and he got so enraged that he destroyed all of the decorations and presents, attacked all of the guests, and locked me in my closet for 12 hours with nothing to eat! It was awful!!"

"So…after that…" She was starting to sob hysterically, but tried hard to keep it together. "We decided to come here to Danville…and…"

"Wait a second. You mean you moved here when you were 4?" Phineas asked, the first time he's been hearing of this.

"Yeah. My mom thought a change of scenery would change his ways. Well…she was right…but it only made them **_WORSE!_**" She screamed as she started sobbing at the top of her lungs. Everyone there felt for her and some had a hard time keeping themselves from crying. "He got so abusive one time that he even gave me a broken arm and fractured hip! And then, when I was 5, he kicked me out of the house and left me to freeze to death in the rain!! He said that I was worthless, than I was a spoiled little rodent, and that nobody would ever love me again!" She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "He said the next time he saw me would be the last time anybody ever saw me!! Oh Phineas, my own daddy threatened to kill me!!!"

Finally, her emotions took over, and out of nowhere, she stood up and sprinted over to Phineas, and gave him the biggest, tightest hug she had ever given anyone in her life, all while still bawling her eyes out. "Make my daddy go away!" She shouted as she tightened her hug on him.

Phineas had never seen Isabella this hurt before, so he was certainly shocked when she broke down and started crying like this. But still, she was his girlfriend, so he hugged her tightly back in an attempt to comfort her. Soon everyone that was in the backyard with her ran over to her and joined Phineas in hugging her, wanting to comfort her and help her get better. The last thing they wanted was to see her so upset. Not only was it bad for her health, but it also broke their hearts.

"That's it, Isabella. Just let it all out." Phineas said quietly to her as she patted her back in an attempt to calm her down, though she continued sobbing like crazy. "That's right. Just let it out, just let it all out."

This was the first time in her life that she had truly expressed her anger and depression towards her father about it. I mean, she has cried in the past about it, but not like this, and it's probably because nobody has ever forced her to talk about it like Phineas has. Despite her crying, she was actually starting to feel good about it inside, and for the first time ever, was starting to feel at peace with it.

Her crying drew the attention of nearly everyone in the neighborhood, and they had nothing but the utmost sympathy for Isabella.

"You feel better now, Izzy?" Phineas asked as soon as she showed signs of stopping.

"A-A little." She managed to say before she let out a few more cries. Finally, she was able to calm herself down enough to wipe away her tears and look at her boyfriend directly. All he gave was a warm smile, but it was enough to lighten her mood up.

"There's that smile I wanted!" He joked as he kissed her, which also lightened her mood up. He wiped away some of her tears as she smiled and sat down next to him on the couch.

"Phineas, I don't know how I could ever thank you. I don't know how I could ever thank any of you." She turned to all of her friends. "I can't believe you went through all of this trouble for me."

"You're our friend, Isabella. Of course we did it for you." Milly said to her troop leader.

"Yeah, you were scaring us for a while there. We just didn't want anything bad to happen to you." Holly added.

"Thanks guys. You're the best." She rubbed her eyes of any leftover tears before standing up. "I'm gonna go inside and get something to drink. OK?"

"There are some juice pouches in the fridge!" Phineas yelled to her, but she was already in the house, grabbing her juice pouch…when suddenly…

"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Diane Simmons. And this is a Channel 5 Action News Special Report."

"We are just moments away from the signing of a new bill that will incarcerate all men over the age of 21 in prison."

Isabella immediately spit out the little drink that she took upon hearing this news.

"The bill was originally only going to incarcerate those who were over the age of 21, had one child or more, and were deemed by the police department as unfit to be a parent. However, much negotiating was done and now Roger Doofenshmirtz is about to sign the final draft of this new bill."

The girl immediately ran outside back to her friends, looking upset. "Isabella, what's wrong?"

"City hall's about to sign a bill that'll put all grown-up men in jail!"

"What!?"

"No kidding!"

"I thought you only wanted to put abusers in jail!"

"I did! I don't know why they're doing this!"

"Then I guess we have no choice! We have to go down there and talk the mayor out of signing that bill! Isabella, when is that bill supposed to be signed?"

"5:00 today?"

"Great! That gives us…"

"A little under 20 minutes." Ferb finished.

"Well that's no good. How are we supposed to get there in time?"

Right at that moment, Stacey and Jeremy came into the scene, holding hands for some reason. "You know, Phineas, I could drive you over to City Hall if you want."

"You could?"

"Sure. I have a license and my car is ready."

"Awesome! We should be there in no time then. By the way…" He then noticed that Stacey and Jeremy were holding hands. "Why are you guys holding hands?"

"We're going out now." Stacey replied.

"Wow, but when did that happen?"

"Uh, you remember that day when Candace was dragged off to a Military School/Mental Asylum?" Jeremy asked.

"Yeah."

"_That_ night."

"Oh. Cool!"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Dr. Doofenshmirtz pointed his ray gun at his father. "And now, pops, prepare to feel the wrath of my Parent-Child-Bond-inator! Soon you will be forced to love me, like you should've done years ago!" But before Dr. D could do that, Perry kicked him in the face, knocking him back, and making him drop his gun. Mr. Doofensmhirtz was thrilled because he believed he was saved.

"Oh happy day! Thank you, young sir! You've saved me!" He jumped the gun, because when Perry looked back, all he did was chirp angrily, smirk, and turned back to fighting Dr. D. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to take it. "Um, hello, Mr. Platypus. Don't go stupid on me now! I'm still tied up here."

Perry paid no mind to him, as he kept fending off Dr. D as he quickly regained the edge over his nemesis. "So, Perry the Platypus, you think you can stop me from making my own father love me? Well, you're wrong. Because all I have to do is press one button…" Dr. D showed him the red button on his ray. "You see, I had planned for this to happen, so I've programmed 10 specific names and photos into this ray, so once I press this button, instantaneously, the first name on the list will be affected by this ray! And what do you know; the first name on my list is my very own father! So there is absolutely no way you can stop me, Perry the Platypus!" Followed by an evil laugh.

"Of course, there is just one small drawback. The subject in question has to be at least 500 miles within range of my ray, but other than that, there is no possible way you can stop me!"

He pressed the red button on his ray, but instead of blasting his dad like he intended to, it turned on his TV, and ironically, it was on the news channel, where Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa was at City Hall, where Mayor Doofenshmirtz was about to sign Isabella's bill "Tom, I'm standing just outside of City Hall, where Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz is about to sign a bill that will, in short, screw us all."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. My soap operas were on while I was constructing this, so I just decided to combine this ray with my remote. Problem is, I can't change the channel with it, so it's stuck on the news. Curse my poor planning skills."

"Here comes Mayor Doofenshmirtz now." Trisha said as the camera on the TV panned over to Dr. D's brother, who took the podium to thousands of cheering fans.

"Oh how I hate him so much!"

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of the neighborhood kids had just arrived at City Hall, and were ready to fight Mayor Doofenshmirtz on the bill. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Tri-State Area, it is with great pleasure that I hereby sign this bill, banishing all fatherhood from the Tri-State Area! Yes, my friends, after tonight, children and women across the town will no longer live in fear of their family men, as they will all—"

"STOP!!" The kids all yelled as they rushed up to the podium. "Don't sign that bill!" Isabella shouted.

"What? Why?" Roger asked as soon as they stepped up.

"Because I don't want to put all grown men in prison! Just the bad ones!"

"But that's exactly what this bill will do!"

"No, what this bill will do is destroy fatherhood! And that's not what I wanted!" She stepped up to the microphone. "When I started my campaign, my mission was to send the message out that child abuse is a serious issue in Virginia! I wanted to make sure those men out there who abused their children will be hunted down and punished! But not all dads are bad! Most dads are loving, caring, compassionate, and provide only the best for their children and their families. My friends have the best dads you could ask for!"

Her speech started stirring up some talk amongst the listeners.

"I started this campaign based on my horrible experience with my dad! I wanted to make a change so no child would have to suffer like I suffered. But I didn't want to force children to live their lives without a dad at all!"

Phineas smiled, knowing that his old friend was coming back. She was starting to regain composure.

"So if you sign that bill, mayor, you will be making the biggest mistake of your political life!" She looked dead-on into his eyes as Roger flinched slightly. Everyone in the audience, including her friends, began applauding her speech, to which she beamed.

"Oh please. Do you honestly think I'm going to listen to a bunch of snot-nosed brats?" Roger smirked smugly, while smiling. "I'm far above this. That's why I don't have kids. Kids are obnoxious, gross little trolls who deserve to be locked away with their fathers! I—" He was stopped immediately by the sound of booing from the crowd. The booing was for him. "Wait, stop! Why are you booing me? I'm doing you all a favor!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz could not believe what he was hearing. "Wow, I never realized how much of a jerk my brother was. I mean, I like hearing kids scream as much as the next evil genius, but I certainly don't want to get rid of them. I'd be eliminating my only birthday present for the entire year!"

While Mayor Doofenshmirtz was being run out by the citizens due to his open hatred of children, one of his secretaries found the opportunity to rip up the bill before the clock struck 5. That way, it couldn't be finalized and everything would return to being normal. The kids cheered upon seeing the bill ripped up.

"We did it!" Isabella shouted.

"Yeah, and the best part is, you finally conquered your emotions, Isabella. You finally acknowledged that you were hurting inside. That took a lot of guts." Phineas said to her as the two hugged.

"I couldn't have done it without you guys." She replied back, before she started yawning. "Wow, I'm beat. I haven't been able to sleep since these nightmares have been recurring."

"Then let's go home so you can get all the shut-eye you want." They all headed back to the car, and Stacey & Jeremy drove them back home.

Phineas invited Isabella to sleep over at his house for the night, which she graciously accepted. So they went home and watched some TV on the living room couch for a little while. But after about 20 minutes, Isabella couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, and fell asleep. She plopped her head on Phineas's shoulder, which gathered his attention. He stood up slowly, put a pillow down on the couch, and laid her head on it, being careful not to wake her up. Then he grabbed a blanket nearby, got on the couch next to her, laid his head down on the pillow next to hers, put the blanket over them together, and fell asleep together.

For the first time in a long time, Isabella truly felt like she was at home. She felt like she had a family that cared for her, loved her, and treated her right. She didn't get that with her dad. But she didn't care. She didn't care if she ever saw him again. She was finally at peace, and that was what mattered.

And as for Dr. Doofenshmirtz, his lair was destroyed in his tussle with his dad and Perry, whom, by now, had returned to the Flynn-Fletcher home, to which he was greeted by Phineas before he fell asleep again.

"Oh there you are, Perry."

**The End.**

**Hope you liked it! Here's a preview for Episode 3!**

**Next Time: Isabella confronts her father for the first time in years. How will it go down?**


	3. 3: Daddy Fearest

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 3: Daddy Fearest (Part 3)**

**Episode Summary: The third and final part of a 3-part mini series called "The Chronicles of Isabella: Father Knows No Best". Phineas decides that the only way Isabella will trul be able to move past her issues with her dad is to confront him. So with his and Ferb's help, she goes to Rhode Island to find him. But even with her yelling in his face, he still doesn't recall doing anything wrong, and even begins mentally hammering her again, just like when she was young. What could this possibly mean for them? Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmfirtz attempts to win a go-kart race in order to win the prize of becoming Mayor for a day.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also don't bother looking for original songs in this! Sorry, but I'm not good with writing original songs. Never have been.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

It was about 7:30 in the morning. Phineas and Isabella were still asleep on the couch, just as they fell asleep the previous night, cuddling each other, happy as can be. Isabella was on the inside of the couch, while Phineas was on the outer edge, and she held him tightly, which made Phineas smile bigger every minute. They were both having a dream that they were getting married, with the church, the reception, the doves, the part where a jealous guy gets drunk there and tries to kill everyone...it was all so perfect.

Phineas was the first one to open his eyes. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and looked over at his sleeping girlfriend. _Wow, she's never looked more beautiful._ Phineas thought to himself as he leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek. She stirred around for a moment before opening her eyes halfway, and staring into the eyes of her love.

"H-Hi Phineas." She said, her voice a bit hoarse, as she sat up and hugged him.

"Good morning, Sugarplum." He replied back which made her laugh. "How'd you sleep, Isabella."

"Like a log. Wow, I don't remember a time when I've slept that well. And I have you to thank, Phineas."

"All in a day's work. You know that I'd do anything to help out a friend, but I never hesitate to help out my own girlfriend." The two stood up and kissed as they walked into the kitchen to find his mom, dad, and stepbrother, Ferb, eating breakfast.

"Oh good morning, you two. How'd you sleep?" Linda immediately asked.

"Great." Phineas replied for the two of them, as they sat down at the table and started eating some of their breakfast. "What time is it?"

"About half past seven. Why?"

"Wow, I usually get up an hour and a half _earlier_. This is new."

"Well, we've been through a lot these past few weeks, and it's been exhausting. Maybe this was exactly what we needed." Isabella reassured him. "Besides, I feel so much better today than I have in a long time."

"You do?"

"Sure. I don't have to worry about what's going to happen with my dad. I feel like I'm finally free. And I have you...and Ferb, to thank for that."

"Anytime, Izzy." The family all continued enjoying their breakfast, while the three kids began contemplating ideas on what to do for the day. Truth was, anything and everything they wanted to do had already been done the previous summer (Season 1, 2, and probably 3.). "Wow, I have no idea what to do today."

"I'm sure you'll think of something, honey." Linda said. "You have such a creative imagination."

"Maybe some TV will help." He turned on the TV to look for some inspiration. All he got, though, was the news channel."

"Good morning, Virginia, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Diane Simmons. And today is National "Fathers Bring Your Daughters to Work" day." Isabella began cringing when the word 'father' came up.

"And here with my is my own son, Jake Tucker. Say hi to the camera, Jake." Tom said to his son who was sitting next to him; he had an upside down face. No joke, if you saw this kid, you'd have to be standing on your head just to look him in the eye.

"Why bother? I'm just a freak! A FREAK!" He screamed to the camera and then walked off screen. Tom shook his head, and then Isabella turned the TV off.

"Uh oh. You're starting to get upset again, aren't you?" Phineas asked his girlfriend, who was trying not to let her feelings get the best of her.

"No. I'm fine, Phineas. Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just get a little bit uncomfortable when I hear words like "dad" or "father" or anything like that."

"Well, that isn't good. That's no way to live, Isabella."

"What are you talking about, Phineas?"

"It occurs to me that you might be feeling better about this, but you'll never really be over your problems in the past until you tackle them head on."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you need to confront your father about this stuff and talk to him. Otherwise, you'll live in this kind of anxiety the rest of your life, and in your condition, that won't be very long."

"But-"

"You know as well as I do that this is what you need to do."

"I don't know...I mean, I never really think about him that much anymore...except when things involving father/child things comes up. Otherwise, I'm fine most of the time."

"Oh, I get it." The kids put their forks down and went to put their dirty dishes into the sink. "Mom, is it OK if Isabella and I go out for a walk?"

"Sure, honey. Just don't go too far." Linda replied as Phineas and Isabella took each other's hands and went out the front door.

"And give our greatest sympathy to Mr. Brown if his house gets destroyed again!" Ferb called before they were out of sight.

Meanwhile, outside, at about 20,000 feet altitude, Gleen Quagmire was on his daily route. He was a pilot, see, and right now, he was flying right above Danville in his plane. "Good morning, everyone. This is your captian speaking. If you look to your right, you will see that we are now passing over the serene and tranquil town of Danville, Virginia. And if you look to your left, you will see two gay guys who wanted to sky-dive but forgot to put on parachutes and are now falling to their death. Our estimated arrival time for Quahog, Rhode Island is apporiximately 4 hours. Thank you for flying Air Quagmire today."

In the cargo unit, a giant piano accidentally slide to one of the loading doors, which was loosened. As a result, it opened up and the piano fell out, also destroying part of the plane, too.

On the ground, Isabella and Phineas were on their walk. Isabella's side was beginning to hurt a little bit. "Isabella, are you OK? Is something wrong?"

"No. My side's just hurting a little bit. Probably a cramp. Guess we should've waited a while before going on this."

"That only applies to swimming, Isabella." The two of them laughed as they continued walking, and as they were walking, the piano that fell off the plane was falling over 20,000 feet all the way into Danville, and wouldn't you know it...it destroyed Cleveland's house...again! And Cleveland was taking his bath...again! Speak of the devil, Ferb.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. Isabella and Phineas were passing by his house when this happened, and ran over to him.

"Mr. Brown, are you OK?" Phineas asked as they ran up to him.

"Yes, I'm fine." He said, sitting there, slightly dazed. "Stupid Quagmire! I keep telling him his planes are in need of repair, but does he listen? No! And now look!"

"Don't worry. I'm sure you're home insurance will cover this."

"What home insurance!?"

"Wait, wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Did you say "Quagmire"? As in Glenn Quagmire?" Isabella asked.

"Yeah. He's a pilot, and his plane's always losing cargo. Why? You know him?"

"He's my dad."

Cleveland looked at the girl for a moment, and pondered. "Quagmire has a child!? Huh, never thought I'd see the day."

"ANd he even has a job, too?"

"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprise?"

"Well he owes me about $250,000 in child support! And back when he was taking care of me, he didn't pay a dime! And now he's giving total strangers rides on planes!?"

"Yeah! And he ain't cheap too! I used my coupon for the friends/family discount and it still cost me around $1,500!"

"Well, flying in style's not what it used to be-"

"They were coach."

"Oh, well that's a different story."

"And then I find out I could've bought First Class tickets from American Airlines for under $300. I got royally screwed! I mean, who the hell would charge $1500 for a stinkin' one-way ticket!?"

By this point, Cleveland's son, Cleveland Jr. popped up from one of the still-in-tact windows and shouted "Who else but Quagmire?"

**_He's Quagmire, Quagmire  
You never really know what he's gonna do next  
He's Quagmire, Quagmire  
Giggity Giggity Giggity Giggity  
Lets have sex!_**

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a special memorial session at the World Trade Center in New York._

_"And so, on this day, September 11th, 2002, we honor those who were lost on this tragic day exactly 1 year ago, when our freedom as a country was destroyed by Al-Queda."_

_Before the ceremony could continue, Quagmire jumped up onto stage and took the microphone. "Freedom? What the hell are you talking about? I'm sure half of the audience here are still virgins! Oh! Giggity Giggity Giggity Goo!" _

**_Who else but Quagmire!?_**

**_He's Quagmire, Quagmire  
Giggity Giggity Goo!_**

_(End Cutaway)_

"OK, that's it!" Isabella shouted as she took Phineas's arm and pulled him aside. "Phineas, I think you're right! I think it's time I confront my dad about all of this pent-up anger."

"Good for you, Isabella! Now you'll finally be able to move past these problems and enjoy life like you used to!"

"Now if only we knew where he was living right now..."

"Quahog, Rhode Island!" Cleveland said interrupting their conversation. The two turned to the man still sitting in his own "stank of the day". "What? I get lonely when I'm not included."

"How could you possibly know this?" Phineas asked Cleveland.

"I used to be his neighbor!"

"So why'd you move?"

"Hello!?" Cleveland said, pointing out his destroyed house.

"Oh, yeah, right. Wow, that must be really annoying."

"Exactly!"

"Well, Isabella, I guess I know what we're gonna do today. We're off to Rhode Island!" The two took hands and started walking home. "By the way, did you see Perry when you woke up this morning?"

"No. Why?"

"Just curious."

It turned out that Perry did not disappear like Phineas believed. In fact, Perry was asleep on Candace's bed when his watch went off. "Good morning, Agent P." His boss said on his watch communicator. "Sorry to bother you so early. It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Our sources are telling us that he's planning to build his own Go-Kart to enter the Danville Annual Go-Kart race. Now ordinarily this wouldn't be that big of a deal. But we then learned that the winner of this year's competition gets to be Mayor for a day."

Perry's eyes widened. "Yes, I agree, Agent P. Who knows what kind of disaster Doofenshmirtz could cause as Mayor, even for a single day. You know your mission!" He saluted his boss and then got up and ran out the window, completely undetected.

* * *

So Isabella went back home and Phineas went back to his home to ask his mother if she would drive them all to Rhode Island so Isabella can confront her dad. He was expecting a no, but surprisingly, she said yes. So Phineas, Ferb, some of the Fireside Girls, Baljeet, Burfod, and Isabella along with Vivian gathered into the Flynn-Fletcher family van and began their drive over to Rhode Island.

During the trip, Isabella was a bit uneasy, which Phineas noticed immediately "What's on your mind, Isabella?"

"Well, I was just thinking about what was going to happen when I confronted my dad about this. Would he be understanding? Is he gonna be mad? Is he even gonna remember any of our past?"

"Well, Isabella, I guess you won't really know until we get there, huh?"

"I guess. I'm just a bit scared, that's all."

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, we're all going to be there, right by your side. If he tries anything, we'll be ready."

"Really?"

"Of course. I'm not going to leave your side for anything."

"Thanks, Phineas. That's reassuring to me." Isabella reached out and grabbed his shoulder, and pulled him in close to her. She held him tightly. "You know, Phineas, just holding you like this makes me feel oh so safe. Thanks again for doing this."

"No problem. I figured this was the only way you would truly get over your problems with him. Now just relax. We'll be there in no time." Isabella nuzzled herself close to Phineas, holding him even tighter as Phineas returned the embrace. The car continued driving along the road until it finally left town, and they were officially on their way to Rhode Island for their first official Family Guy crossover (this is non-canon to my Family Guy's Road Trip series).

_**Hey dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do?  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along**_

During the road trip, Isabella fell asleep. Her mind was racing with thoughts of her confrontation coming up, and she became extremely dizzy, so she rested her head on Phineas's shoulder, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

**_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's alright_**

She had dreams about being abused as a little girl, about being abandoned by her dad, about being told she was worthless, all of that crept back up to her.

**_'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect_**

The only men she actually had in her life were Phineas, Fer, Baljeet, Buford, and all of their dads. But it seemed like they were more family to her than Quagmire would ever be. He never really did care that much for her, considering he was always out finding more women to "play with". The truth was, nobody knew about Quagmire's past life as a dad except for the people back in Danville, Cleveland, and those who supported her rally in the previous episode.

**_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you  
But you don't understand_**

**__****_'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect_**

**__****__****_'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect_**

**(A/N: Yes, I know I skipped a few verses. But I didn't think they actually fit the situation. This was the closest song I could find that I believed would go with this, so don't laugh.)**

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Building a Go-Kart!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had just arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and successfully got past his security system without any hassle. Unfortunately, it was the trap Doofenshmirtz set up inside his lair that captured Pery the Platypus.

"Perry the Platypus, as usual you succeed in escaping my security system, but as always, you fail to see these oh so simple traps coming." Perry had jumped into a racecar seat, and the seatbelts activated, trapping Perry in. "What do you think of my new race car seat? I hope you like it. It took me all week to build. I suppose you're wondering why I built this car seat? Well, I'll tell you, Perry the Platypus."

"You see, when I was a little boy, my parents would never allow me to race Go-Karts. My father forbid me from even coming in contact with one, and my mother said that Go-Karts are for homosexuals! Well, technically, that might be true, because I heard Justin Timberlake likes Go-Karts. Nevertheless, that is exactly what I intend to do today." The evil scientist walked over to a big sheet covering his Go-Kart. He pulled it off, and revealed it to be a black colored Go-Kart with pictures of him plastered all over it. There were two twin sets of engines in the back; two small engines and two big engines. "Behold, my very own Go-Kart, which I call "The Faster Go-Kart in the Tri-State Area.""

Perry shook his head in a disapproving way.

"What? Oh so you don't like it, huh? You don't think it's evil? Well, prepare to be baffled." He took out a remote with a red button on it. I feel like we've been through this whole "red button" thing before. "As you may have noticed, there are two sets of engines. One small, and one large. Now the small one was built in originally, so it propels the car at normal speed. The big engines I installed myself. All I have to do is press this button on my remote, and the big engines will activate, which will allow my Go-Kart to reach a speed of up to 60 miles per hour! And, you know, most Go-Kart cans only go up to, like, 20 miles an hour, so I'm going triple the speed of regular Go-Karts. I have named my new engines "The Turboinators!""

"But just to be sure, in case my turbo boost doesn't work, I still have this!" Dr. D pulled out yet another remote, this time with several colored buttons on them. "Early this morning, I went all across town charting the course of today's race, and planted in booby traps at every square inch of the track. Traps such as mini-explosives plugged on the underside of the streets, oil slicks, ice, and the worst...the most evil...the most dastardly kind of booby trap ever designed...automatic detours! I call this...the booby-trapinator!"

"And once I use it to win, I plan to use my one day as Mayor to make it so they can never impeach me or make me give up my Mayoral position!! Not only will I finally run my brother, Roger out, but I will also be able to re-create the entire Tri-State Area in my own, twisted image!" He laughed evil as he walked over to the other side of his Go-Kart, pressed another button, and the floorboard started descending down to the ground, leaving Perry trapped.

* * *

It was about 12:30 in the afternoon when they arrived in Rhode Island. "Wow, that was quick." Linda commented, as there was nearly no traffic stopping, and they only needed to make two stops; one to fill up on gas, and the other so everyone could go to the bathroom. They pulled up to the spunky neighborhood that was Spooner Street.

"Well...here we are." Isabella said as they all got out of the car. "Spooner Street, Rhode Island. This is where my dad lives." What none of them knew at the time was that Quagmire was actually 61 years old. He keeps himself healthy by eating lots of carrots. So how in the world he was able to have Isabella as a child is beyond me.

"According to Mr. Brown, your dad lives on 29 Spooner Street, which is...right here!" Phineas said out loud as they walked over to Quagmire's house. "Well, Isabella. This is it. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. Yes I am." She said confidently as she walked up to the door. She knocked on it a couple of times, and waited for a response. Her side started bothering her again, which made Phineas concerned, though she assured him that she was OK. After about a minute or so, Quagmire finally walked up to the door and opened it, and was surprised to see Isabella and all of her friends standing there.

"Isabella? W-Wow. This, uh, this is quite a surprise. What are you doing here?"

"I came here to talk to you."

"You came to see your old man. Oh how wonderful! This is just like what happened when you were a kid! God, those were some good times."

"No, dad, see, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You didn't give me a good childhood! My childhood sucked because of you! You did nothing but abuse me physically and mentally, you always told me that I was worthless and that nobody would ever love me, and you even kicked me out of the house on a regular basis!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You can even ask this boy right here!" She said shoving Phineas in his direction. "This boy stood up to you the night you kicked me out before my mom divorced you!"

"Wait, _this_ is that kid who hit me in the foot with a wooden hammer?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Phineas is the sweetest, funnest, most caring boy I'venever met! He is an amazing friend, and even an incredible boyfriend!"

"Wait, so now you're _dating _this kid?"

"Yeah! Why, is there a problem?"

"Of course. My god, I love you, kid, but you...you..."

"I _what_?"

"You have terrible taste in boys."

"What was that!?"

"I mean, this kid is mean to adults, hitting them with stuff, he has horrible taste in fashion, and his head's oddly shaped!" Quagmire pointed out Phineas's needle-shaped head. "And so is his butt." He reached out to grab Phineas but Isabella intervened.

Isabella scoffed. "Well, I'll have you know that I think Phineas has fabulous taste in fasion, and his head could be in the shape of a pickle, and I'd still love him. And don't you even think about touching him! His oddly-shaped head and oddly-shaped butt are _my_ business, bub! And if you ask me, they're both cute and adorable! So stay away!" She put her arm around his shoulder to defend him. What she didn't realize was that she was accidentally grabbing Phineas's rear end instead of his shoulder.

"Um, Isabella, I don't feel comfortable with you grabbing me down there." Phineas said, trying to back away from her grasp slowly.

"Oh, sorry! Sorry!" she said, immediately realizing what she was doing. She pulled her hand away from his butt right away.

At that moment, Quagmire's friends, Peter, Brian (Peter's talking dog), and Joe (the police officer in a wheelchair) came up to Quagmire holding Bud Lights.

"Hey Quagmire, me and the guys were gonna go drinking. You wanna c-uh, are we-are we interrupting something here?" The fat one asked, looking around, seeing everyone.

"No, no, Peter, it's fine. It's fine."

"OK, good, 'cause we don't want any more lawsu--hey, wait a second." Peter Griffin turned to Isabella. "Aren't you the girl that started that campaign to raise awareness about child abuse?"

"Yes. Aren't you the guy that started that campaign that raised awareness about fat people?"

"Yes. So what are you doing here in Quahog?"

"I'm here yelling at my dad."

"Wait a minute, _he's_ your father?" Brian, the dog, asked. "Glenn Quagmire is your father!?"

"Yes. Yes he is."

"That's impossible!"

"I know, that's what we all thought, considering the way he treats her--"

"No, no, I'm saying that it's _physically_ impossible. He's 61 years old."

"What?"

"No way!" Isabella shouted, clutching her side once again, in more agony than before.

"You mean to tell us that this man, who claims to be a loving and caring father, who abused Isabella to no end as a child...is a senior citizen!?" Linda exclaimed loudly.

"Uh, yeah, that's right."

"He's not lying, you know. I have my license with me, and my birth certificate." Quagmire took said objects out and handed them to them. They read them carefully, and were shocked with what they read.

"This says you were born in 1948." Adyson said. "You're really a 61-year old dad?"

"Uh, yes ma'am."

"But you look like you're in your 30's." Milly noted.

"Why, thank you."

"What's your secret?" Holly asked.

"Carrots. I eat lots and lots of carrots. Sometimes I'll eat them for dinner. Sometimes I'll eat them as a midnight snack, and sometimes I'll even...grind them up and drink it as an energy drink. Just as long as I get them in somehow."

"OK, Quagmire, that's great. Now what's the deal with all these little twerps standing at your door? What are they, Girl Scouts, or something?"

"Well, we _are_ Fireside Girls, FYI, but that's not why we're here." Isabella explained. "This man has been abusing me physically, emotionally, and mentally for _5 years_! From when I was born to age 5!"

"What?" Joe looked at Quagmire in disbelief. "Quagmire, is this true?"

"No! No, of course not! I never hit her in my life!"

"Did you ever call her a bad name?"

"No! I don't know where she's getting this stuff from! Her mother wasn't always the best influence on her."

"No, dad! _You_ weren't the best influence on me! My mom was just fine!"

"Oh god, here we go agan! You know what, your mother's been poisoning your miind with feeble lies and crap that isn't even true! Now you tell that broad that she isn't allowed within 500 feet within my house unless she's coming to apologize!" He shouted into their faces before shutting the door on them. They all stood there in shock. Joe turned to Isabella.

"Quagmire wasn't always the most, uh, how shall I put this? "Sane" one among us. He does crazy thing for no reason every single day."

"Yeah, I think we already went over that. But I'm not lying! He's done horrible things to me! he hit me in ways only boxers should be hit, he's called me names and told me I was worthless and unlovable, and he's even kicked me out of the house on a regular basis!"

"That's awful!"

"I know! But he denies all of it! If only there was a way to show him inexplicably that he's done wrong and he needs to apologize for it."

"Well now that you mention it, Isa, I did bring along some old home videos of when you were a child." Vivian said to her daughter. "They're in the car."

"And do they show him harming me in any way?"

"Yes they do."

"Then we've got to get him to watch them so he can finally see the error of his ways. Golenn Quagmire, in the words of my big sister, "You are so busted!"" Phineas said towards Quagmire's house, which made Isabella shudder a bit, as she held her side once again.

"Those words make me shudder."

"Why?"

"Your sister kinda bothered me while she was here."

"Yeah, she was kind of on the psychotic side."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was downtown, at the registration table, signing up for the race. The guy at the table was a very old man who pronounces sibilant consonants with a high-pitched whistle.

"Hello there, I'm here to sign up for the big race." Dr. D said to the man. "And I am very confident that my Go-Kart will be the one to win the race so I can become Mayor for a day."

"Aren't you a little old to be _in_ a Go-Kart race?"

"Aren't _you_ a little old to be _watching_ a Go-Kart race?"

The two exchanged glares for a moment before the older man spoke again "Touche. Alright, go on in and set up by the starting line.

"Thank you." Dr. Doofenshmirtz replied happily as he wheeled his contraption to the starting line.

Unfortunately, what he didn't know was that Perry the Platypus was on his tail. He had escaped Doofenshmirtz's Go-Kart trap by using a laser pen to cut the seatbelt. He then tracked down the race and flew there with his jetpack backpack. The Platypus hid behind one of the bleachers to avoid being seen as Dr. Doofenshmirtz rolled his Go-Kart to the starting line, where there were several other guys there, sprucing up their Go-Karts.

"_Attention, racers! Please approach the starting line! The race is about to begin!"_ The announcer said as more Go-Kart racers pushed their karts to the starting line. Perry readied his jetpack to take off and follow Doofenshmirtz. "_This is a one-lap race all across __Danville__! Racers will start here and then take off through the racetrack which is marked by hundreds and hundreds of orange traffic cones. This race will take them past landmarks such as the Bowl-R-Ama Bowling Alley, the Danville museum, the Googolplex Mall, the Superduper Mega Store, the Pharaoh's theater, and then back here to the starting point at Huge-O-Records! The first person to complete their lap and return to the starting line wins, and gets the grand prize of being Mayor for an entire day! So race your hearts out! Just don't cheat!_"

"Oh, but what the announcer doesn't know…" Dr. D snickered, taking out his remote of booby traps. "…won't hurt him, or me. It'll just hurt every other racer. A ha ha ha!" He laughed evilly while other people next to him began watching on, confused. Some even started smirking and calling him crazy. "What?" He said to them. "Can't a guy be excited to race a Go-Kart?"

_"Racers, take your mark!"_ The announcer said once again as the traffic light up ahead started blinking red, signaling the almost beginning of the race. All of the drivers, including Doofenshmirtz, got into their Go-Karts and started their engines. Once the green light flash, all of them were off and racing. Their first stop: The Bowl-R-Ama.

There were 11 other racers in the competition, and of all of them…Doofenshmirtz was in last place. But, lucky for him, he was expecting this.

"That's right, everyone else! Drive! Drive 'til your heart's content! Because once they are, you have no way of stopping me from unleashing my…booby-trapinator!"

The evil scientist pressed the black button on his remote, and in front of him, many of the drivers began to swerve out of control to try and avoid the unexplainable and unpredictable explosions coming from the ground. This was the first of many booby traps Dr. Doofenshmirtz set. "That's right, Go-Karters! Fear the awesome power of my explosive—AHHHHH!" Even thought the explosives set the other racers off-course for a moment, it also sent Dr. D off-course as well. He failed to pay attention to the road, and as a result, lost control of the Go-Kart for a moment before regaining composure.

Ironically, after all of that, he only moved up to 11th place. "Oh, I forgot to boob-trap proof my own Go-Kart! And I only moved up to 11th place! Oh well, at least it's better than last place. But still, curse me and my poor planning skills."

Perry, still up in the sky, watched as Dr. D tried to take the lead without falling victim to his own traps. He waited for the right moment to strike, but also waited to see how long it would take until he screwed himself.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Rhode Island, back at Quagmire's house, Quagmire was about to settle down and watch some TV. He turned on the TV and changed the channel to the On Demand movie channel. While he was scrolling down the list of movies to watch, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella sneaked up to his front door, dropped a bunch of tapes on his front porch with a note attached to one of them, rang his doorbell, and ran off before he could see them.

When Quagmire opened the door, the first thing he did was look for the guys who rang his doorbell. But when he didn't find them, he instead laid his eyes on the pile of tapes on his porch. He took the top one, and read the letter. "Be the first to watch these rough copies of future theater movies. Love, Michael Phelps. Giggity!" He took the tape inside, and put it in the VCR to watch it.

The first tape was from when Isabella was around 3 years old. Isabella was watching "Barney" on TV. Yes, he's still around. Quagmire walked into the picture and pushed Isabella aside. "Move over, squirt. It's time for my stories." He took the remote out of Isabella's hands, and turned on "Desperate Housewives." Isabella started crying a little while afterwards, and Quagmire missed half of the actions. "Damn, now I'll never know!" He shouted before turning to Isabella. "You little runt!" He was also extremely drunk so he had no idea he was hitting her. He simply believed he was slapping her lightly. But no, he was really hammering on her, which made Isabella cry even harder!

A shocked Quagmire watching this couldn't believe what he was seeing. He immediately picked up the phone and dialed a number. Isabella and Phineas outside watched on, believing they got him.

"Um, yes, is this J.K. Rowling?" He said into the phone, which initially confused the two kids. "It's not? Oh, well, can you give her a message? OK, my name is Glenn Quagmire, and I just watched a rough copy of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows" and I wanted to tell her that this is the worst piece of crap I have ever watched in my life."

Isabella's jaw dropped to the ground. Dumbfounded that her own dad was this idiotic, she buried her head in her hands, while Phineas watched on in sheer amazement.

"_Sir, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows" has not even been made yet."_ The guy on the other line said to Quagmire.

"Oh don't take me for an idiot! I know for a fact that right now I am watching Harry Potter get his testicles blown off by Lord Voldemort!"

_"No, sir, you are not! And I know because they have told me personally that production for the movie is not finished yet._"

"Well, sir, then explain to me how I could possibly be watching a rough copy of the movie?"

"_Um…you've been tricked?"_

"But that's impossible. I mean, famous Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps delivered these videos right to my doorstep."

"_You're out of your mind, dude!"_

Quagmire was beginning to agree. "Yeah, I think you might be right. 'Cause now that I think of it, how the hell does Michael Phelps know where I live? And how the hell did _he_, of all people, get copies of all these movies? S-Stay on the line, I'll be right back." He put the phone down and went back to the door to grab another video. When he popped it into the VCR, what he saw was him yelling at Isabella and telling her that she is worthless. But what he perceived it to be was…"See, I-I went to grab another tape and I swear I'm watching "It Takes Two!"

Isabella could not believe what she was seeing, "Unbelievable!" She said to herself. "I can't believe he's this dumb!" She shouted loudly now, so loud, in fact, that it drew Quagmire's attention from the movie and from his conversation on the phone.

"You know what, I'm gonna have to call you back." He hung up the phone, turned off his TV, and then walked outside, stepping over the other tapes so he wouldn't break them. Funny, if I were in his position, I'd destroy those tapes right there. He reached down into the bushes and grabbed Isabella and Phineas by their collars. "What the hell are you guys doing here?" He asked them. "And what's with the tapes!?"

"Those tapes are from when I was a child, dad!" She said to him, getting angry. "Those are old home movies that clearly depict you abusing me in physical and mental ways."

"Never in my life have I heard any bigger crap from anyone than I am from you right now." Was his stern reply.

"See, there you go again. Calling me names, insulting me, you used to do all of that and more!"

"I think I'd remember ever hitting you!"

"Well you clearly don't, so that's why my mom brought over these tapes…so you'd watch them and I'd finally convince you otherwise!"

"Look, I don't know what in the world you are talking about! All I've been doing is watching these tapes of never-before-seen movies, such as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, or Monsters Inc. 3—"

"There's not Monsters Inc. 3." Phineas interrupted.

"Wait, what?"

"There's no Monsters Inc. 3." Phineas repeated.

"W-Well, not yet. That's why I'm watching a rough copy. To approve of it."

"No, there _is_ no Monsters Inc. 3 because there never was a Monsters Inc. _2_."

"What!? There was never a sequel!?"

"No. Well, they _are_ making one that should come out in 2013. (True story) But there never was one in the past."

"But then…then that would mean…that would mean…" Quagmire began stuttering as Isabella silently praised the situation.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the race, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was focusing heavily on trying to outmaneuver the other racers and take 1st place. Right now…he was in 10th place. Well he had already fallen victim to his own explosives, so that was kind of expected.

But now, he was more determined to outdo everyone else. 'That last little fiasco may have set me back, but once I unleash another one of my booby traps, I will be Mayor for a day!"

He pressed the light blue button on his remote, and suddenly, as they were all approaching the Googolplex Mall, buckets that were hanging from the edge of the building started dumping millions of ice cubes onto the race track just in front of the mall. Doofenshmirtz was expecting everyone to race into the ice which was beginning to melt into frozen water, and slip into each other and cause their Go-Karts to break. However, what he failed to see was that they had to make a left turn before they got to the mall, and they had to go around it and then head to the Superduper Mega Store. So when they all made a left turn to go around, Doofenshmirtz was taken by surprise, and as a result, he slipped on his own booby trap and as a result, he slid into the ice and spun out of control until finally, he crashed head-on into the mall.

His Go-Kart was severely wrecked, including his Booby-trapinator. His turbo boost engines, however, were still in great shape. "Oh, I should've seen that coming!" And as quickly he had given up his last place spot, he had gained it back. "Curse you, other Go-Kart drivers! You may have won this round, but you have yet to see my most brilliant feature yet! I believe now is the appropriate time to break out my Tubroinator!"

He pulled out a smaller remote and pressed the button on it, which immediately activated his turbo engines that gave him an ultimate speed boost. He ricocheted around the building and immediately caught up with everyone else as they were heading to the Superduper Mega Store. He raced up to 9th place, then 8th, then 7th, and in just seconds, he was in 6th place, and shooting for the top spot!

He was up in 3rd place once he arrived at the Pharaoh's theater.

"It's working! It's working!!" Doofenshmirtz shouted softly to himself, excited that something was actually going right for once. Unfortunately, he jinxed himself and just as he was about to take second place, he slammed on the gas pedal too hard, which caused it to break through the wood. As a result, the car sped up uncontrollably, far past 60 miles an hour. "Wait, wait! It's not supposed to go this fast! I'm going to crash!"

While Doofenshmirtz was freaking out, Perry snuck up behind him and swiped his booby trap remote right from his back pocket. "Perry the Platypus, what are you doing…Perry the Platypus, no! Don't touch that brown button which will set off the oil slick traps!"

Having just been told what to do, Perry pressed the oil slicks button, and as a result, tons of oil was splashed onto the course, and while he had just taken 1st place, he was about to lose it. He slid right into the slick, began spinning out of control, still going at about 120 miles an hour, drove right past the Pharaoh's theater, and even the finish line. He didn't cross it; he just passed where he needed to cross. He just kept going and going and going until finally, he ended up on Maple Street, headed a few houses past Phineas and Ferb's house, went back downtown, and finally crashed into the Le Rub de Scrubs spa center (at least I think that's what it's called). And wouldn't you know it; Cleveland was there, taking a bubble bath in the hot tub on the second floor.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. "I hope I don't have to pay for this!"

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz yelled under the rubble.

* * *

"So you're telling me that after Monsters Inc. back in 2001 when the terrorists were attacking, there was never a Monsters Inc. 2?"

"That's right."

"But then what the hell was I watching then?"

"You were watching yourself be a horrible father to me!" Isabella jumped in to defend her friend, as her side began throbbing in pain.

"For the last time, I have no idea what the hell you are talking about!"

"Then you are an even bigger idiot than I thought!!" She screamed this time as she clutched her right side. The pain was literally beginning to paralyze her. She was also feeling very nauseous and like she was going to throw up.

"Isabella, are you alright?" Phineas asked.

"Yeah, my side's just hurting a little bit. It's nothing."

"It doesn't seem like nothing. Are you sure?" Quagmire asked, truly concerned for her well-being.

"Oh, since when did _you_ start caring about my well-being!?" She snarled. She tried to sit down on the ground but the pain was unbearable. She had no idea what was going on, but Quagmire did. His eyes shot open in shock at what he was looking at. And that's why he immediately dialed 911 on his cell phone.

Finally, the agony was too much for her and Isabella collapsed from exhaustion. It was only moments later that paramedics arrived on the scene.

* * *

The next time Isabella opened her eyes, she was lying in a hospital bed, recovering from anesthesia. Dr. Elmer Hartman was hovering over her bed, making sure she was OK. All of her friends, including her dad, and her dad's friends, Peter, Brian, and Joe, were gathered around the bed.

"She's waking up." Phineas remarked.

"Wh-Wh-Where am I?" Isabella asked, looking around to see what was going on.

"You're in a hospital bed." Dr. Hartman replied. "This man over here saved your life." He pointed to Quagmire, which shocked Isabella greatly.

"What!? Him!?" She shouted out. "But he's done nothing but hurt me my entire life! Why would he want to help me all of a sudden?"

"Do you even know what happened?"

"Yeah! We were yelling at him, I was hurting on the inside, I collapsed, and then he called someone to take me away and lock me in—"

"Your appendix exploded." Hartman flatly said, stopping her in her tracks.

"W-What?"

"You were suffering from appendicitis. Your appendix burst and this man called paramedics to the scene to take you here. If it wasn't for him, you would've probably been dead."

"Y-You did?" Isabella looked up at Quagmire.

"Yeah. When you collapsed on the ground like that, my mind just started racing. And then images of years past starting flashing before my eyes. And I saw it! I saw myself hurting you. I saw myself yelling at you, telling you you're worthless, stealing money from your bank account…it was all so vivid."

"So you finally admit it! Wait a minute. What exactly do you mean by "Stealing money from my bank account"?"

"The truth was…I was in denial about it all. See, back when I was taking care of you, I was an alcoholic. I drank _way_ too much, like, 100 shots a day."

"A hundred shots of beer!?" Peter exclaimed. "Wow, I've been drinking for over 25 years, and even _I_ don't drink that much in a day."

"Well _I_ did. And every night, I would come home, I would be drunk, and I'd take it out on her. I hit her, slapped her, yelled at her, you name it. But I never realized it until it was too late."

"What do you mean by that?" Phineas asked him.

"Well, a little while after you hit me in the foot with your hammer and Vivian kicked me out of the house and divorce me, I realized that I wasn't right in the head, and that something needed to change."

"How exactly did that happen?"

"I dropped an open beer can into the sewers, and I went down to get it, but when I went to take a drink, I realized that it was filled with urine and feces."

"EWWWWWW!" Everyone shouted simultaneously.

"That's disgusting!" Peter commented.

"Dude, that's totally gross!" Isabella added.

"I know, and I thought the same thing. That's when I knew I had to make a change and conquer my alcoholism."

"So wait a minute…" Brian said, thinking it over. "You overcame your addiction to beer and stopping abusing women by becoming a nymphomaniac and having sex with women?"

"Yeah, that's right."

The room remained silent for a brief moment. No one spoke a word, mainly because they had no idea what was going on.

"Quagmire, you are truly pathetic." Peter finally spoke, as he, Brian, and Joe began to leave. "Come on, guys. Let's go drink until we can't feel feelings anymore." Pretty soon, everyone in the room with the exception of Quagmire, left. Quagmire was stunned that Peter had actually called him pathetic.

Peter, Joe, and Brian got into Peter's car and they all drove off to the Drunken Clam. Peter dialed his cell phone to try and get a hold of his fourth friend, Cleveland. "Cleveland, are you there? Hello? Cleveland?"

"Peter—"

"Not now, Brian. Cleveland, you idiot! Pick up!"

"Peter!"

"Cleveland, you are seriously pissing me—"

"PETER!"

"What!?" He looked ahead to see that he was about to hit Cleveland's old house. He smashed into it before he could do anything about it. The second story floorboard started tipping downwards as the bathtub up there started sliding down. After a few seconds, it fell to the ground, breaking upon impact.

Peter was confused as to why nobody was in the tub, but then he remembered. "Oh that's right. Cleveland moved."

Phineas, Ferb, Linda, Vivian, Lawrence, Buford, Baljeet, and the Fireside girls watched, a bit confused. A minute later, Perry arrived on the scene, making his signature growling noise. "Oh there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 3!**

**Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry if it seems a bit rushed. Look for the next episode!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb attempt to make the tastiest and healthiest pizza known to man. And Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to fatten everybody up with his own brand of pizza treats.**


	4. 4a: That's One Spicy Pizza!

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 4a: That's One Spicy Pizza!**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb, and their neighborhood friends attempt to make the tastiest and healthiest pizza in all of Danville. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to make the state of Virginia the most obese state in the country by distributing out an extremely tasty pizza that makes people gain weight extremely quickly.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also don't bother looking for original songs in this! Sorry, but I'm not good with writing original songs. Never have been.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

It was about 6:00 that evening. (Remember, this is still taking place on the night of the previous episode.) The Flynn-Fletchers decided to take everyone to a pizza parlor to have some dinner before they headed back. Isabella was released from the hospital just moments ago and was able to join them. She was psyched that they were all having pizza for dinner.

"I'm glad they let you out of the hospital." Phineas said to Isabella. "This wouldn't be half as fun if you were still cooped up in there." They both reached for the same piece of pizza, and shared a laugh as Phineas let her have that piece and he took another one.

"Aw, thanks, Phineas. I'm glad that I got let out, too. It's just too bad my dad didn't turn out the way I wanted him too. He's very weird."

"Evidently, if it wasn't for your weird father's quick thinking, you might've been dead." Ferb added.

"True. But he's still a jerk! And he's so concided that he has his own theme song!"

"Let it go, Isabella. It's not worth it to dwell on the past." Linda said, taking a bit out of her pizza. "That's why I don't get upset with Candace's constant rant about Phineas and Ferb."

"You're right. I just hope I never see him again. It was bad enough as a child. I don't want to have to suffer through it again!"

"Well tonight, we're heading back to Danville, so he'll be out of your life for good."

"Thank goodness!"

The friends all continued to eat their pizzas, enjoying every single bite of it. It was so delicious Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella ended up having 4 pieces each. "Gosh, that was so delicious." Phineas remarked after finishing his 4th piece and starting his 5th. "It's too bad we can't have pizza like this every night for dinner. Then we'd never have to worry about cooking ever again."

"Well, hon, this kind of food may be delicious, but it's also very unhealthy when eaten too much or too often." Linda explained to her curious son.

"What do you mean it's unhealthy?"

"Well, there are a lot of ingredients that can make someone really fat and really unhealthy when they eat too much of it."

"Are all foods like that?"

"Of course not. There are lots of healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, and dairy products that keep people healthy, and there are other foods, such as pizzas, chicken, etc, that can make people unhealthy if they eat too much of it."

"It's a shame pizza's not one of the healthy foods." Phineas took another bite of his pizza, when suddenly, he got an idea. "Wait, that's it! What if we could make an extremely organic and extremely healthy pizza. That way, nobody would ever have to worry about eating bad things ever again! And we'd be able to enjoy delicious pizza every minute of every day. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow! By the way, does anyone know what happened to Isabella's dad after we left?"

"I heard that he was arrested on the spot and they're planning to give him some counceling with the best psychologist in the world." Lawrence replied.

"Well who would that be?" A curious Phineas asked.

Meanwhile, over on the other side of the country, where it was still considered afternoon, Glenn Quagmire, aka Isabella's dad, was in a therapist's office, getting help for his problems by the best psychologist in the world, Dr. Phil McGraw. Unfortunately, it wasn't going well for him.

"You are the worst patient I have ever had!" Dr. Phil yelled to Quagmire. "Not only are you completely in denial over you abusive past with your own family, but you're flat-out an idiot! I mean," He pressed a button on his remote which changed slides on the slide projector and showed a picture of Quagmire hitting Isabella. "This is _not_ Forrest Gump!" He changed slides again. This one was of Quagmire yelling at Isabella and making her cry. "This is _not_ The Shawshank Redemption!" He changed slides yet again, this time to Isabella sitting on the stoop of her house while it is pouring outsidde and Quagmire is indside, drunk as hell. "And how could _this_ possible be the Jeff Dunham show!?"

Quagmire simply looked at Dr. Phil sternly. "So...when do I get the free food!?"

Dr. Phil looked at Quagmire back like he was insane. "Get outta my studio!!"

* * *

So the next day, after they had returned to Danville, and after they had all gone to bed and went to sleep, Phineas and Ferb prepared to do exactly what Phineas said the previous night: Create the biggest, tastiest, and healthiest pizza know to man. First, they just had to make sure that they had everything they needed to make the delicious treat.

"OK, Ferb, let's make sure we have everything." Phineas said going through his checklist. "Cheeses? Check. Pizza screen? Check. Topping? Check."

"Hi Phineas." Isabella said as she strolled happily into the backyard, giving her boyfriend a kiss on his cheek. "What'cha doin'?"

"Hi Isabella. We're going to design a pizza that's so tasty and so healthy that people can have it for every meal every day for the rest of their lives!"

"Really? That's so cool! Can I help?"

"Of course! You can start by spreading the word to everyone. You know, Baljeet, Buford, your Fireside Girls troop--"

"Way ahead of you, Phineas." Isabella replied as Baljeet, Buford, and her Fireside girls troop all walked into the backyard. "Hi Phineas!" Everyone in her Fireside Girls troop said simultaneously.

"Where should we start?" Baljeet asked.

"Good question, Baljeet. I think Ferb could use some help making the pizza dough. You go help him with that, Buford, can you go back home and bring over all the pizza toppings you have and then come back here and help Baljeet and Ferb make the pizza?"

"I'll be back in a flash!" He said as he quickly took off.

"And Isabella, you and the Fireside Girls can start spreading the word."

"To whom?"

"To everyone in town, of course! Tell them about the tastiest and healthiest and most affordable pizzas in the entire world!"

"But what if it's not done by the time we get everyone here?"

"Please, Isabella. Do you _know_ who you're dealing with?" Phineas asked her in a kind of smug and obnoxious tone, which annoyed and flattered her at the same time. "We'll have this thing done in 15 minutes or less."

"Cool! By the way, where's Perry? I brought this cute little toy over for him." Isabella pulled out a rubber ducky from her pocket and gave it to Phineas. "Pinky doesn't want it anymore, so I thought Perry would like it."

"Well that was sweet of you. I'm sure he'll love it. I don't know where he is, though. I haven't seen him since this morning. But you know him, I'm sure he's gonna turn up sooner or later."

"Awesome. See you in a little while. Call me when the pizzas are ready." She said as she and her Fireside Girls troop left.

"Will do, Izzy."

Perry, aka Agent P, was already in his secret lair receiving his mission from his boss, Major Francis Monogram. Seriously, his name is Francis? Jeez, I thought that was Ozzy Osbourne's maiden name.

"Good morning, Agent P. We tracked Doofenshmirtz while he went to the Danville Grocery Store to buy some ingredient. We then did some research and discovered that those ingredients are all used to make...a pizza! Now, we can only assume that Dr. Doofenshmirtzis planning to do something dastardly withthese ingredients, but we also like to give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, he could be, for all we know, just be making a pizza. Maybe have a decent dinner for once. But, we'd still like you to investigate, Agent P. With Doofenshmirtz, we can't take any chances."

The Platypus saluted his boss, and then went to take the hovercraft to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated to see just what Doofenshmirtz was cooking up. Literally.

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and Baljeet were busy making tons of pizzas for everyone in Danville. Baljeet was doing the pizza tosses, Ferb was putting on the toppings that Buford had brought, and Phineas was building an oven that cook instantly cook a pizza to perfect every time. Now if only they could do that for Fast Food restaurants, then we'd be set.

"Just one more twist, and...there! It's done! OK, Ferb, toss 'em in!" Phineas said to his stepbrother as Ferb brought over the decorated pizzas and stuck them all into the oven at once. He shut the door and turned the contraption on, and in 10 seconds, every pizza in there was cooked to pure perfection. "Wow, they came out even better than I thought. If only Perry were here to see this."

The boys were busy making these pizzas while Isabella and the Fireside Girls were busy spreading the word to everyone. They all designed posters, signs, campaign ads, the whole works. All in an effort to get people's attention of Phineas and Ferb's masterpiece. And for a while, it seemed to be working. There was lots of attention for it, and many people were eager to see what Phineas and Ferb had created. Of course, some of them believed that Phineas and Ferb had created a cure for the Swine Flu, so they were in for a disappointment.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry had just arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and after sneaking in through a back window, attempted to spy on the evil scientist who was busy on a new invention. He was caught, however, and from absolutely nowhere, a fat suit came from the sky and trapped Perry within it, making him unable to move.

"Perry the Platypus!?" The doctor exclaimed sarcastically. "Whatever happened to you? You look like you've been eating too many sweets! Ah ha ha, oh I am funny. No, seriously I know it's you. Do you like my fat suit trap? I designed it myself. Now I suppose you're wondering why I chose a fat suit for your trap this time around? Well, I'll tell you."

"You remember last year when I tried to destroy the Fireside Girls' Cupcake making factory so that they would stop trying to sell them to me while I'm working out? You do? Well, I decided that since I was unsuccessful in making myself thinner by comparison by exercising, I have decided to make myself thinner by comparison by making everyone else really, really overweight!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked over to a stack of boxes that had a white sheet covering them. He pulled the sheet off of the boxes and revealed them to be pizza boxes. "Behold! A stack of 10,000 Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated cheese pizzas! Which, in reality, is actually just a bunch of home-made pizzas. There's nothing special about them...yet. They're just home-made pizzas."

"But..." He took out a small ray gun and aimed it at the pizzas. He pulled the trigger and shot at them, releasing a green ray and shooting towards the boxes. Nothing seemed to happen, though. "...now, thanks to my newest invention "The Fat Saturator-inator", I have loaded these pizzas with enough energy to make anyone who eats this, instantly gain weight! You see, thanks to this, I've loaded these pizzas with a total of 10,000 calories...per slice! And that-that's a lot of energy. Did you know that 1 pound of fat equals 3,500 calories? So...so essentially, anyone who eats an entire pizza of mine could gain, like, over 20 pounds per pizza! That's a lot of weight!"

"And once everyone in the Tri-State Area takes to my pizza, there will be no stopping them from wanting more! You see, I've added a little extra something to these pizzas that will make it so addicting, once you start eating it, you cannot stop! And thus, I will not only make myself look the thinnest of everyone in the Tri-State Area by comparison, but I will make the Tri-State Area the heaviest Tri-State Area in the entire world! And there is nothing you can do, Perry the Platypus!"

Doofenshmirtz pulled out another remote and pressed a button on it. Just like that, the floor under the stacks of pizzas began descending to the ground floor as he left to go downstairs and watch them be loaded into his giant truck. It took only two minutes for them all to be loaded up, and afterwards, he headed to the truck and started driving downtown to sell his fat-filled pizzas.

Perry's job now was to get out of Doofenshmirtz's trap so he could go after the evil scientist. Seeing as his fat suit was restricting him from reaching into his pockets to grab a laser pen and cut through it. So, he did the only humane thing he could think of. He waddled over to Doofenshmirtz's old treadmill, plugged it in, turned it on, and started sprinting on it at 12 mph. He figured if he couldn't cut it off with a laser, he could melt it off with exercise. Unfortunately, the fat suit was carrying 20 pounds of fat in it, so it was going to be tough.

But his idea was working. As time passed, the suit was slowly thinning out, and it became less heavy. It also became easier for Perry to run and stay on the treadmill. He was also in very good shape, so as the suit was melting off, he was able to go faster and faster and melt the suit faster as well. Finally, after about 30 minutes, all of the weight finally shed off and Perry was free from Doofenshmirtz's trap. So now he had nothing else to do but follow him, which wasn't that difficult considering the truck was like 10 feet high.

* * *

And then back in Danville, there was much talk about Phineas and Ferb's new pizza. Nearly everyone was talking about it...well except for one guy, who was busy bathing. But that was about to change.

While the Fireside Girls were busy handing out flyers, they had given one to a nearby driver, who, as he read it, got so excited he stomped onto the gas pedal and lost control of the wheel. As a result, he sped up at about 130 miles an hour, drove past Phineas and Ferb's home, drove a few more houses down, tipped the car onto its side, and then finally crashed into Cleveland's house. Wow, this guy is just seriously unlucky with this kind of stuff.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. The driver got out of his car and ran over to him.

"Hey, man, sorry about that." He said to him. "Are you OK?"

"OK!? My house just got destroyed! Again! Why weren't you looking where you were going, fool!?" Cleveland shouted to him.

"Sorry. I was just so excited about this new pizza thing that's going around." He grabbed the flyer he had and handed it to Cleveland, who read it.

"Phineas and Ferb's New Tasty and Healthy Delicious Pizza! Guarenteed to reduce your waistline by half an inch per pizza or your money back. Wow, this _is_ something to be excited about." He said, while the other guy nodded. "Hey kids, get changed! We're going out for lunch! How does pizza sound?" He yelled into his home. He got no response, though, and was openly worried about it. "Oh yeah, that's right. Donna took them school shopping."

"It's the middle of June."

"I know, right? Huh, women."

"Yeah. Nothing but trouble. But I guess it's worth it in the end."

"I suppose so."

"So...have you and your wife gotten into trouble since you married?"

"No. We only married a few months ago, which is when I moved here."

"Oh. Well, welcome to the neighborhood. I'm David." The man reached out to shake Cleveland's hand, which he accepted.

"My name's Cleveland."

Suddenly, the hand shaking stopped, and the other guy broke out into hysterical laughter that laster for about ten seconds. "oh my god! Oh, you're named after a country!?" Cleveland's face fell hard as the guy continued laughing.

And while he was dealing with that, Phineas and Ferb were preparing their booth so they could sell their famous pizza to everyone in Danville. "Hmm, it's almost lunchtime. I can't wait for everyone to show up and chow down on our masterpiece. I wonder where they all are."

Truth was, everyone who had heard about this new revelation in healthy food was on their way to Phineas and Ferb's house, ready to enjoy the tastiest thing to hit America since the news that Osama bin Laden's son may have been killed, while at the same time. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was on his way up that very street, going very fast for a truck its size. The people were walking in the streets, and almost didn't notice the oncoming truck, so when it started swirving out of the way, they panicked and ran for it. The truck finally managed to stop, and this time, thankfully, it didn't destroy anything, and nobody was hurt.

Doofenshmirtz got out of the truck, and unloaded his many pizzas to share with the Tri-State Area. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you...the world's tastiest pizza ever!" He shouted to them as he unboxed them and began setting up his own table. The people all became very excited, believing it to be Phineas and Ferb's pizza. "That's right! Come and get it! Only $5 per pizza."

Everyone formed a line in front of the table, with their wallets out and their mouths watering. Everybody who was anybody was on that line (guess Cleveland doesn't count) and everyone bought at least 10 boxes. Some even bought as much as 20.

They were all so busy gobbling down their pizzas that they failed to notice that they were quickly gaining weight. Their stomachs were expanding beyond anybody's belief. Everyone shot up and went from 180 to 380 or 200 to 400 pounds in just a few moments. And they still kept going. "It's working! It's working!!" Doofenshmirtz said quietly to himself. "Now that you have sampled my delicious concauction, you will have to do whatever I say if you want to get some more!"

The mucnhing and eating suddenly stopped. "Wait a minute." One guy said as he and everyone else there looked up at the doctor. "You mean...you want us to _work_ for you to get more pizzas!?"

"That's right. You and all of your little friends will have to work for me, and in exchange, you won't have to pay a single cent for your pizzas! Now, your first task -- help me take over the Tri-State Area and remake it in my own twisted image!!" He laughed maniacally waiting for them to agree to his terms. Unfortunately, all they agreed on was that they wanted more pizza.

"Um...how about _you_ give us more pizza, or we kill you." One man said flatly to him, taking out a giant bat, ready to beat him up.

"Uh...you do what?"

"OK that's it. Get him!" He shouted and in an instant, everybody took out bats and started running after the doctor. Said man took the hint and started running down the street, screaming like a little girl.

They all ran as fast as their little legs could carry them. But before they did, they stole more of Doofenshmirtz's pizzas, and continued to chow down on them as they chased the scientist down Maple Drive towards Phineas and Ferb's house. Eventually, they did get tired and couldn't run anymore, which made Dr. Doofeshmirtz believe he could gain the upper hand. But, one of them managed to throw his bat at him and caused him to be knocked unconscious, which gave them enough time to tackle him and pin him to the ground. Now they were even heavier than ever, some tipping the scales at over 600 pounds, and were literally crushing Dr. D under the weight of their bodies.

"Ahh, you are squshing me tiny, fragile body!" He screamed as one guy sat on him. "Let me up! Let me up!"

"No way, man! We want more of your pizzas, but we ain't workin' for you to get them! So either take the dang money or leave!"

What nobody realized was that they were now attacking Dr. Doofenshmirtz on Phineas and Ferb's lawn, and they didn't even notice that Phineas and Ferb were ready to sell their pizzas. "Wow, it looks like a full house." Phineas said as he took his bullhorn out. "Step right up, folks! For the tastiest and healthiest pizza in the entire world! No longer will you have to worry about having to buy bigger clothes because this taste sensation is guarenteed to shrink your waistline half an inch per slice or your money back!"

The guys attacking Doofenshmirtz suddenly looked up at Phineas and Ferb and saw the pizzas. "Hey, those two boys over there have more pizzas." One said. "Let's get 'em!" They all ran over to the stand as fast as their now severely heavy legs could carry them, and they each bought a box. They were expecting the weight to continue putting on, but instead, as soon as they took that first bite, they all felt slightly lighter. Delighted and slightly confused, they continued eating until their first pizza was devoured.

Suddenly, the extra weight that was padded on their bodies was beginning to melt off. "Oh my gosh, this is unbelievable!" One of them shouted out. "It's as if this pizza is magically shrinking our bodies without us having to exercise in a gym or anything."

"This stuff's doing what NBC could never do!" Another guy shouted out as everyone lined up to buy more of Phineas and Ferb's creation.

"That's right, folks! Come get them while they're hot! Single file, please. You'll all get your turn." They were selling like Michael Jackson's Thriller album. "Only $5 per pizza!" Even so, they still made a fortune once all of the pizzas were sold. After they were, everybody began enjoying them and most of them ended up actually losing most of the weight they had gained from eating Doofenshmirtz pizzas.

Once they were all finished, and...for the most part, thin again, they turned to Doofenshmirtz, who had now gotten up and dusted himself off. "Why are you all looking at me like that!?"

They all grabbed something hard to hit him with him, and stared him down. "Get him." A guy said quietly but fiercely as they all screamed out and started chasing after him again, which caused Doofenshmirtz to scream out and start running for his life, while Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and every other kid on the block were left there, utterly confused out of their minds.

"What just happened?" Phineas asked, hoping for an answer.

"Apparently we created a pizza that helps make fat people really thin really fast." Isabella replied.

"Wow, that's so cool!"

"So why are they going after that old guy?" Buford interjected.

"Don't know. Don't care. Let's just enjoy this pizza. Hey," Phineas looked on the table and realized that there was only 1 pizza box left. "There's only one box left. Oh well, we created it. I guess we should get to enjoy it too." He took a pizza cutter and cut the pizza into 11 slices, 1 for each of the Fireside Girls including Isabella, 1 for Phineas, 1 for Ferb, 1 for Baljeet, and 1 for Buford. Each took their pizza slice and took a bite into it, enjoying it. "Wow, this is even better than I imagined!"

"I know! It's like the taste is dancing in my mouth!" Isabella cried out. "This is amazing! But, aren't you worried that we're going to end up like those other guys, and end up unhealthily thin?"

"No. I think that only happens to really fat people." Phineas responded.

"OK then." Isabella put her pizza piece down and counted up the money that they had earned by selling their pizzas. "Wow, we made a killing! We made over $1,000 by selling these pizzas! Do you think we could make that much tomorrow?"

"We could." Phineas said. "But I don't plan on it."

"Why know?"

"Well, you know me. I like to keep moving forward. But this was awesome! I can't believe we actually invented a pizza that makes people lose weight just by eating it! I say this day is declared a success! Don't you think?"

"You read my mind, Phineas." And so everybody went back to eating their pizzas, enjoying every last bite of it. Once they were done, they weren't sure of what to do next. So Ferb decided to say something to end the show.

"Did you know that Mississippi was voted the "fattest state in the country" in 2008?" He asked his friends, to which he received several shakes of the head.

"Hmm, that's interesting to know."

**End of Episode 4a!**

**Well, what did you expect? This is an 11-minute segment, so of course it's much shorter! But I still hope you liked it!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb throw a slumber party!**


	5. 4b: Sleepless in Danville

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 4b: Sleepless in Danville**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb host a slumber party with all of their friends. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to keep everyone awake so he can win a spelling bee, and this new little creation of his keeps the gang from enjoying their slumber party, and eventually prevents them from going to sleep.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

  
**_**There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe...**_

_**Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane**_

_**This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!

* * *

**_It was late that afternoon, and Phineas & Ferb were at home, eating dinner with their family. It wasn't a pizza dinner like they had intended because they had finished all of their homemade pizzas for lunch.

"So boys, how was your day?" Linda Flynn asked, taking a bite out of her chicken.

"It was awesome! Today, we made the world's healthiest pizza that also tastes good." Phineas replied, taking a sip of his soda.

"That's good. And how did that work out?"

"The turn-out was far better than Ferb and I predicted. Everyone in the Tri-State Area wanted a bite of it!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. But the strangest thing -- when they arrived, everyone was much, much fatter than we expected."

"So apparently, our concoction has helped end the obesity epidemic in Virginia." Ferb added.

"Oh. Well, that's great. Glad you had fun today."

"Oh we did, mom. But it's too bad that it's getting late. I kinda feel like having another adventure like that. I mean, it's only 5:00 but the day's almost over." Phineas expressed his frustration that the day was nearly done. "I still want to play with all of my friends, but I know it's probably too late to do something exciting now."

"Not necessarily, Phineas. You could always have a slumber party."

"What's a slumber party?"

"At a slumber party, a bunch of friends gather at one's house and they all sit around and play games and stay up late and watch TV...you know, things you normally do in the day, but at night."

"Wow, how serendiputous. But I was kinda hoping we would be able to play outside. Oh well, it's better than nothing." He turned to his almost silent stepbrother. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tonight. First we gotta call all our friends, and then we gotta plan out the night's activities. Oh this is going to be so much fun! I just can't contain my excitement! Let's do it!"

After dinner, Phineas and Ferb immediately got to work planning their slumber party. There was going to be snacks, beverages, movies, games, everything a slumber party could ask for, except no 50-year old pop icon. Phineas was busy calling all of their friends and sending out invites, while Ferb was busy setting up the party.

"Hey Isabella."

"Hey Phineas. What's up?"

"Ferb and I are hosting our very first slumber party. You want in?"

"Do I ever!"

"Great. Why don't you stop by at around 8:00? And bring your Fireside Girls troop too."

"Cool. I'll see you then!"

"Later." Phineas then hung up the phone and began dialing Buford's number. "Alright. One down, everyone else to go." He looked around him to see where his pet platypus was at, but he couldn't find him at all. "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

His pet platypus was already in his lair, ready to receive his mission from Major Monogram. He felt that this was unusual because he had already stopped Doofenshmirtz earlier.

"Good evening, Agent P. Sorry to disturb you at such a late hour, but it's Doofenshmirtz. He's up to his old tricks again. Our sources tell us that he's gathering up parts to build a contraption that will keep people from falling asleep. We have no idea why he could possibly be doing this, but we are sure that there is a completely boring and unnessassary backstory to go along with it."

"You know, if he spent half as much time writing a memoir about his childhood instead of trying to take over the Tri-State Area, he might have something there." Carl, Monogram's intern said from off-camera.

"Carl, we've been over this. As bad an evil villain he is, he's an even worse writer. Now go back to your corner." Monogram turned back to Perry. "Where was I? Oh yes. We've tracked Doofenshmirtz to an apartment he used to live in. I'm sending you the coordinates, Agent P. You know your mission."

The platypus saluted his boss, took the directions, and then left in his hovercar.

* * *

It was 8:00 and all of the kids were starting to pile into Phineas and Ferb's house. Isabella, her Fireside Girls troop, Buford, even Irving came over to their slumber party.

"Let's see now. We have Isabella, Milly, Katie, Holly, Gretchen, Ginger, Adyson, Buford, Irving...I think that's everybody. Everyone except...hey, where's Baljeet!? I told him 8pm sharp! Where is he?"

Phinea walked over to the phone and dialed Baljeet's number again. "Hello? Baljeet?" He couldn't hear Baljeet on the other line directly, but he could hear him snoring loudly in the background.

_"No, I'm sorry. Baljeet can't come to the phone right now. This is Mrs. Patel. How can I help you, Phineas?"_

"Fine, thanks Mrs. Patel. What do you mean Baljeet can't come to the phone?"

_"He's asleep right now."_

"Asleep? But it's only 8:00. Who goes to sleep at 8:00 on summer vacation?"

_"Actually, he's been asleep since 6:00."_

"6!? But why?"

_"He has a strict sleep schedule he set up for himself that makes him get 16 hours of sleep every night."_

"But...that would mean that he's only awake for 8 hours of the day."

_"I know. His father and I have repeatedly tried to talk him out of it. But he's such a stubborn boy."_

"Tell me about it. Well, thanks anyway." He hung up the phone after that, and returned to the living room.

"Where's Baljeet?" Ginger asked him immediately. "Is he coming?"

"I'm afraid not. He's already asleep in his bed. He has been for the past 2 hours."

"Oh no!"

"Who goes to sleep at 6 pm!?" Adyson blurted out.

"Nerds and geeks, like Baljeet." Holly added, which made Ginger cringe.

"Hey, stop making fun of him like that!"

"Oh get a grip, Ginger! You know it's true! I honestly don't know what you see in that boy! It's not like he's rich!" Isabella shouted to her fellow girl scout, as the sad Fireside Girl trudged to the couch.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Old Apartment!**_

Perry's mission to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz led him to his old apartment. It was a two story building; it was a tan color, plenty of doors and windows, and looked to be in decent shape.

He snuck into the second floor and walked into one of the rooms, seeing that it was as big as Doofenshmritz's old lair. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary, which is why he was caught off-guard when a giant sleeping bag came down on him and wrapped him up, trapping him.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. Right on schedule." The notorious doctor said as he casually strolled out, holding a dictionary. "Schedule. S-C-H-E-D-U-L-E. Schedule." He looked down into his book. "Aha, yes! I am a genius." Perry gave him an awkwardly confused glance. "What? Oh, this? Oh, you're wondering what a spelling dictionary and a sleeping bag have to do with one another, aren't you? Well, it will all become clear in just a moment, Perry the Platypus. Platypus. P-L-A-T-Y-P-U-S. Platypus." He looked down in his book again and flipped through some pages. "Aha! 2 for 2!"

He walked over to one of the windows and opened it. "You see, Perry the Platypus. For years I have tried to find something that I am better at than my goody two-shoes brother, Roger. I've tried kickball - you remember that, right? With Love Handel in my back-story? - martial arts, rugby...practically everything I could think of, he was better at!"

"But one day, while I was around 12 or 13, a glimmer of hope came. It was time for the annual Druelselstein spelling bee. My brother, Roger, was competing in it, and my mother had bet against me with some of her friends. She thought I'd be knocked out in the first round. But...I showed her up! The first word I got, I spelled correctly, which surprised even my mother. Ha ha, it was so good! Not only did I move to the next round, but Roger was knocked out of the first round, due to a case of "stage fright"! What a baby!"

"After that, the rest of the bee was easy. I eventually went on to win the entire thing! My mother was so upset that she disowned me in anger and forced me to live in the woods...which is another back-story. Do you know she bet a whopping $20,000 on me? And that was 40 years ago, so that would be worth, like $300,000 today!"

"Anyway, after my father saw my performance, he told me that I would bring great pride to this family. As it turns out, nobody in my family had ever won a national spelling bee before, and I would be the first. So, after we moved here, I participated in my first national spelling be, and I was determined to win no matter what! But the first time I stepped up onto that stage, I got a case of stage fright! I was so scared because everyone in the audience was staring right at me! I mean, it was horrible the way they were looking at me with their big eyes. I mean, practically everyone was there. The president, senator John McCain, Usher, everyone!"

"After that day, I never participated in another spelling bee again! Until now, of course! Tomorrow is the Tri-State Area's 32nd Annual Spelling Bee, and I plan to enter to redeem myself from the awful shame I suffered years ago. Now, the problem is that I still get terrible cases of stage fright. But that will be rectified today, thanks to my newest creation!" He pulled the covers off of his hidden invention, which was just a really big boom box. "Behold, the Insomnia 5000...inator."

"You see, I figured that the only way to cure my horrible stage fright is to make certain that nobody else is watching me! So, with this machine, I will broadcast, at random, sounds that are so loud, so disturbing, and so frightening, that they will keep everybody in the entire Tri-State Area awake. Once they are unable to fall asleep, they will be forced to listen to this horrible sound all night long. By morning, not only will they be sleep-deprived, but they will also lose concentration and be unable to stay focused for very long! This way, nobody will be able to pay attention to me during the spelling bee, and thus, I will be cured of my cursed stage fright!"

He went to another contraption covered by blankets. "But I know what you're thinking, Perry the Platypus; "But Doof! Won't you be subject to those awful noises too!?" Well, I took that into account, and this time, I've planned ahead." He uncovered his creation, which was simply a very large glass box with a door carved into it and an intercom & microphone installed on the outside and inside respectively. "Behold...a giant glass box. But, it's a giant soundproof glass box. By stepping inside, I will be protected from the most disturbing & loud noises my Insomnia 5000-inator will produce. Meanwhile, you, Perry the Platypus, along with everyone in the entire Tri-State Area, will be forced to listen to these awful noises and will not be able to sleep...at all! My plan is perfect!"

Perry simply shook his head as the mad scientist walked over to his machine and pressed a button on it. Perry waited for something to happen right away, but was surprised when something didn't happen right away.

"What? Oh, I forgot to mention. I have the machine set on a timer so it will fire in 60 seconds. This gives me enough time to get myself settled into my box. See, Perry the Platypus? This time I planned ahead." Doofenshmirtz walked back into his glass box with his dictionary, and locked himself in it. _30 seconds until detination..._

* * *

As the machine was about to fire, Phineas, Ferb, and their friends were right in the middle of enjoying their slumber party. They were watching a movie, one of Phineas's favorites, "Are We There Yet?"

"Oh boy, this movie is so funny. I can't believe people didn't like this when it hit the theaters." Phineas said as he and his friends laughed at the part where Nick's car is blown up by his own cigarette lighter.

"Well, apparently, critics do not have a liking to Ice Cube, the man who plays the protagonist in this movie, rather than the movie itself. If you ask me--" Ferb began to explain to his friends. But he was stopped when a disgusting noise filled the air. Phineas paused the movie for a moment and listened, and then figured out that it was really loud cracking of the knuckles.

They assumed someone outside was doing in, but that was because they had no idea of Doofenshmirtz's machine. "Ugh, what is that!?" Phineas shouted over the loud noise.

"It's so disgusting!!" Milly screamed.

"It sounds like someone is cracking their knuckles outside!" Holly interpreted.

"But who could make noises that loud!?" Adyson asked, as they all quickly turned to Ferb, knowing of his incredibly gross habit of cracking his knuckles.

"Don't look at me."

"But if you're not making that noise, then who is?" Phineas asked as they each pondered on that thought.

* * *

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy studying in hit little glass box, and was completely unaware of the sounds that were going on outside, though he knew by heart that his machine was working. Meanwhile, Perry the desperately trying to get out of his sleeping bag trap, while having to listen to the awful sound of some guy cracking his knuckles.

"Try as you might, Perry the Platypus. But as I speak, my machine is making sure I win tomorrow's spelling bee, and there is nothing you can do about it!" He shouted maniacally into the microphone, though Perry was determined to prove him wrong.

So he continued to struggle as the bag slowly came looser. But it was still so tight on him that he could barely even move in it, and because of that, he had a hard time getting out. But as time passed, it was getting easier and eventually, Perry did get out of the sleeping bag. Luckily, Doofenshmirtz was so deep into his studying that he did not notice Perry, so he took the opportunity he had and secretly put a lock on the glass door, so Doofenshmirtz was locked in his own box. Doofenshmirtz then saw Perry.

"Perry the Platypus, you actually escaped!?" He shouted in surprised into the microphone. "Very impressive, but you're not going to touch my machine that easily! Oh Norm!" The doctor pulled out a remote, pressed a button on it, and in just momens, his evil assistant, Norm the Robot, came out from storage.

"My name is Norm." The robot said as he raised his fist into the air, and readied to pounce on Perry the Platypus with all of his might. The platypus slid out of the way in time before Norm could get him, but the robot wasn't about to give up. "Come back. You can borrow my rake."

Perry ran away from Norm as fast as his little platypus legs could carry him. He ran right out of the building and into the streets, leaving Doofenshmirtz alone in his glass box to study. "Ugh, finally. Took him long enough." Doofenshmirtz said to himself as he continued studying.

Perry took his hovercar and rode off back to his home, with Norm hot on his trail.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Phineas & Ferb's slumber party, they were having an even rougher time. Why? Well, because Dr. Doofenshmirtz's machine was producing loud and obnoxious sounds that were preventing them from enjoying their party. First, it was a guy cracking his knuckles loudly, and now it was very loud wailing. It was now almost 10:00 pm, and there was loud wailing coming from Doofenshmirtz's machine.

"What is wrong with everybody tonight!? Don't they know that children are asleep at this hour!?" Isabella shouted over the loud wailing.

"Who could possibly make a sound that loud!?" Phineas called out. "The only person I know who could do that is Baljeet, and he's sound asleep! Oh well, let's try not to get too wrapped up in it. I mean, we could still enjoy our slumber party even with that racket going on if we all just not let it get to us!"

"Gee, that sounds simple enough!" Isabella shouted sarcastically.

"OK, Izzy, I can deal without the sarcasm, thank you."

And so their plan now was to try and enjoy their party without letting the noise get the them. But it was essentially impossible considering the sound kept changing over the course of the night.

It went from loud wailing to explosions to to an 65-year old couple arguing, and the most recent one was a bunch of show tunes being played over and over again. With each new noise, the gang grew more and more angry and frustrated and fed up. They were forced to use pillows to cover their ears and even they weren't enough to block the noise out.

For three straight hours, they attempted to enjoy their slumber party. But unfortunately they couldn't concentrate with all of the noise going on. So, at 1:00 in the morning, they all decided to stop their slumber party and just go to sleep.

"Guys, this isn't working!" Phineas shouted over the now glass breaking noise.

"Duh, Phineas!!" Isabella sarcastically shouted to her boyfriend. "How are we supposed to sleep with all this noise!?"

"Yeah, we either gotta find the guy making those noises or make this house soundproof!" Irving shouted, while everybody looked at him, as if he was never there to begin with.

"When did _you_ get here!?" Buford shouted.

"Soundproof, huh? Hmm, that gives me an idea!"

Phineas ran to his room, changed into his summer clothes real quick, and grabbed his toolbox, while his friends followed him as he ran outside. "Phineas, what are you doing?" His girlfriend asked him as she ran up to the boy, who was hard at work with blueprints. His stepbrother, Ferb, joined in, immediately realizing where he was going with it.

"Ferb and I are going to build an antenna that will produce a soundproof shield which will cover the entire house so whatever obnoxious noise life will throw at us tonight, we won't have to listen to, so we can all get some sleep."

"Great. So when do you think it'll be ready."

"I don't know. Things like this take some time to build. I'd say, maybe a couple of hours. Until then, you guys are just gonna have to deal with the noise."

* * *

Perry tried desperately to out-manuver Norm through town, but everywhere Perry went, Norm was able to catch up to him.

The chase lasted about 2 1/2 hours itself, and by that time, Perry's hovercar had run out of gas. By now, they were nearing Maple Drive. So in desperation, the platypus continued evading Norm on foot. He was getting pretty tired and wanted to end it as soon as possible. His chance to end it came when Norm decided to launch one of his heat-seeking missiles from his hand. He aimed at the Platypus, uttered "The enemy of the platypus is man." and then fired at Perry, missing by just a half-inch. Thankfully Perry was able to escape without a scratch.

Seeing this as a golden opportunity, he started fiddling with his watch as soon as Norm was about to fire another missile at him. His watch had a built-in teleporter (Fireside Girl Jamboree), so he used it to teleport back to Doofenshmirtz's old apartment. There, he tore off a piece of his fur, and plastered it on the window where Doofenshmirtz was, and then teleported back to where Norm was.

Norm had fired two missiles instead of just one. One was a heat-seeking missile, and the other was not. That was just went haywire and shot all over the place. The heat-seeking missile, however, had a new target, and so it shot up right back into the city towards Perry, or at least towards his fur. That's right. It was heading towards Doofenshmirtz's old apartment. (Do you see where this is going!?)

* * *

After about 2 1/2 hours of construction and building, Phineas & Ferb were finally able to finish their creation. They were showing it off to their friends.

"Voila, it is done!" Phineas shouted in triumph over the now firecracker noises. He and Ferb held out the antenna to their friends, who exchanged confused glares.

"Phineas, what is that?" Isabella asked him.

"Well, once this thing activates, it will produce a soundproof shield that will block all soundwaves outside from entering the house. That way, whatever noise life throws at us, we won't hear, so we'll all finally be able to get some sleep." The boy then ran up to the house, grabbed a nearby ladder, climbed to the top of the roof, installed the antenna in, and then climbed back down & ran into the street. "Everybody stand back!" He shouted to his friend, to which they obeyed and stepped into the streets.

Phineas pulled out a remote and pressed a button on it. At that moment, the antenna turned on, and in an instant, produced a light blue shield that covered the entire household. "Ooh, pretty." The Fireside Girls all said in unison.

"This should keep these awful noises out of our hair until morning. Now come on. Let's all get some shut-eye." Phineas said trimphately as he started walking towards his him. But once he got to the shield, a glitch happened, and instantaneously, as he stepped in, the backs of all his clothes disappeared. That's right, the backside of every piece of clothing he had, from his shirt to his shorts to his underwear...all of them dissolved when he entered the shield, and as a result, his whole backside was showing, from his his bare back to his bare butt.

All of his friends covered their eyes when this happened; everyone of course except Isabella. She was probably the most in shock, and yet strangely, also the most delighted.

"Dude!" Buford shouted. "What happened to your clothes!?"

"I don't know! I-I guess the shield must've ripped them off when I walked through it!"

"Phineas..." Isabella slowly walked up to the half-naked boy, cautious at first, but then broke out into a lovestruck frenzy. "Oh my gosh, you have the cutest little butt I have ever seen!" She shouted gleefully. She then reached out slowly and grabbed one of his butt cheeks with her hand, and squeezed it, which made Phineas blush violently in pure embarrassment. "It's very firm, but cute at the same time. Just the way I like it."

Everybody else took one step back away from her. "You've got issues." Buford said slowly but calmly to the girl, who looked around at all of her friends, confused.

* * *

Now let's get back to the chase scene. As far as the rockets were concerned, I know you're wondering what happened with them. Well, the non-heat seeking missile Norm launched at Perry went haywire, and it kept circling around and around Maple Drive until finally, it gained momentum in one direction and headed straight for a house. Can you guess which house it hit? That's right. Cleveland Brown's house. And guess what else? He was taking a bath, getting ready to go to work!

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. "Doggonit!"

As for the heat-seeking missile, it was still targeting Perry the Platypus, but this time, it headed for the patch of fur Perry ripped off and stuck on the window of Doofenshmirtz's old apartment.

Doofenshmirtz looked up from his study book and saw the patch of fur on his window and then the missile. "Wait, is that one of Norm's missiles? But it's only supposed to target Perry the Platypus. Why is it -- oh, he ripped off his own fur and stuck it on my window! Very clever, Perry the Platypus. Oh well, guess I better--" Doofenshmirtz headed for his door, and tried to open it. But he was shocked to find out he couldn't get out. "Wait, wait, why isn't it opening..." He then noticed the lock on it. He gasped. "Perry the Platypus locked me in my own box!!"

Five seconds later, the missile hit the building. The entire front of the apartment was destroyed when the missile hit and when it did, the debree from the apartment fell. Doofenshmirtz had no way of getting out of the box to avoid falling to the ground. He was trapped in his box and was about to fall two stories to the ground.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the box started sliding off. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!" He yelled as his glass box slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. Doofenshmirtz looked at his watch and realized it was almost 5:00 in the morning. He could also tell by the light that was coming from the sun that was about to rise. "Oh my goodness! The spelling bee starts in 1 hour!" He got so worked up over the spelling bee, and then realized his mind went blank. "Oh no! I've forgotten all the words I studied!" He then took a deep breath and decided "You know what? Forget it. Not worth it." **

* * *

During the Credits**

Norm was still after Perry the Platypus, and by now, Perry was close to his home. He saw the soundproof shield covering the home, and he knew that Doofenshmirtz's plan had kept the kids up all night. So, wanting to end it right now, he decided to tackle Norm head on. He climbed up onto one of his legs, made his way up its back, and then managed to flip its on/off switch to OFF. This made Norm slowly shut off. Perry jumped off of the robot before it fell down and slammed onto the ground.

The force of the impact, however, caused the antenna on Phineas & Ferb's house to shake tremendously. It shook enough so that it actually shut off on its own. Of course, the kids inside were all knocked out cold inside, and they were too tired to be woken up again by any noise. Unfortunately, that desire would not be fulfilled.

Once the shield was down, they were all vulnerable to the noises that were coming from outside. Luckily for them, though, because Dr. Doofenshmirtz just suffered the wrath of Norm's missiles, his machine was also destroyed (though he didn't realize it at the time). But now they had to face Perry's curiosity, because he fiddled around with some of Norm's built-in buttons, and he pressed one of them, which unleashed a fourth missile. This one, though, was not a heat-seeking missile, so instead of going after Perry, it went in a random direction.

It eventually crashed into Baljeet's house. Baljeet was still asleep in his room. He had been studying for hours before he went to sleep, as there was an open textbook with him. His mouth was wide open as he was snoring very loudly and drooling violently into his open science textbook. He was so knocked out that he didn't notice the missile crash into his house. He also didn't notice that his room was cut in half, and that the half with him on it was untouched while the other half was destroyed.

That half also had a bathtub on it, for some reason. The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. In just seconds, it slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. But even this couldn't wake Baljeet.

Everyone in Phineas and Ferb's house was awakened by the loud crash. Angry, frustrated, and exhausted now, all the kids ran outside to see what had happened, and it was then that they saw the robot lying on the ground, and Baljeet's destroyed house.

"Oh my gosh! Something destroyed Baljeet's house!" Ginger shouted out, worried about Baljeet.

"Yes, Ginger. We can all see that." Phineas said flatly, a bit fed up with the nonsense. "But what could've done this?" He turned to Isabella and was about to ask for her opinion, but saw that her eyes were focusing a bit "too low", if you catch my drift. "Hey Izzy!" He shouted to his girlfriend, which made her snap out of her trance immediately. "Let's focus our eyes up here, OK?" He pointed to his own head to make his point to Isabella, who sheepishly chuckled and blushed.

**End of Episode 4b!**

**Hope you enjoyed that!**

**Next Time: Phineas attempts to go on his first real date with Isabella. Meanwhile, the other kids try to come up with their own project, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz ends up getting a babysitting job, and Perry ends up in the middle of it.**

**Expected Update: Sometime between December 6th and December 8th. There "The Dude", are you happy now!?**


	6. 5: The First Date

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 5: The First Date**

**Episode Summary: Phineas takes Isabella out on their very first date, and now the challenge is to figure out what boyfriends and girlfriends do on dates. Meanwhile, with PhineasandIsabella absent, the rest of the neighborhood kids try to come up with a project on their own, and Doofenshmirtz gets into some baby trouble.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**_There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!**

* * *

**_The sun above the horizon, and it was another glorious summer day. The date was June 27th. It was not like Phineas and Ferbto skip a day of summer vacation, but they were so exhausted from their sleepover the night before that they couldn't get themselves out of bed yesterday to come up withaplan. So they, along with all of their friends, slept in that day (except for Baljeet, who didn't not come to their slumber party and got a full night's rest. He was forced to find an activity to do on his own).

But today was a new day, and right at 7:00 am, as usual, Phineas & his stepbrother were up and out of bed, downstairs, all dressed for the new day. Their parents were already awake and had made them breakfast. "Morning boys." Linda said, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep."

"Like a rock." Phineas replied, taking a bite out of his scrambled eggs. "Hey mom, why didn't you wake us up yesterday?"

"Well, you and your friends were so tired from your slumber party I figured you'd need a day to catch up on some Z's. And frankly, I didn't blame you."

"Yes, who on Earth was making those awfully repulsive noises the other night?" Lawrence asked his two sons.

"We're not sure. We tried to make the house soundproof, but that didn't work. But by that time, whoever was making those noises had gotten tired and decided to turn in. But it was already almost morning."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that, Phineas. But it's a new day, and that's in your past. You know how you always say you like to "Keep moving forward"? Well, isn't this one of those times?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right, mom."

"So, what do you boys plan on doing today?" Lawrence asked them.

"We're not sure yet." Phineas replied honestly. "Actually, to tell you the truth, I was kinda planning on spending today with Isabella."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's strange, but last night, I kept having this dream about Isabella and I getting married when we turn 20, and then moving away to another state to raise two children, a boy and girl both named after us. Does that make me sound crazy?"

"Of course not, dear boy. You're not crazy." Lawrence assured him. "You're in love."

"Wow. So this is what being in love with someone feels like. I-I never thought I'd feel this way about my best friend."

"Well I think it's wonderful you're dating Isabella. You're growing up real fast. Pretty soon you'll be dating through middle school, through high school, and eventually, the two of you will get married and have kids."

"Mom, please. Let's focus on the summer, OK?"

"Fine."

"Wow...so this is love. Now I see why Candace was so obsessed with Jeremy last summer. And now I guess it's my turn. I guess it's my turn to be in love with Isabella. But...I don't really know what to do about it."

"Well, Phineas, she is your best friend. So why don't you just treat her like one? You weren't worried about making her happy or sad when you guys were just acting as friends."

"But that's just it, mom. Ever since I found out she had a crush on me, I've been kinda feeling like I don't just want to be friends with her. I've been seeing such a different side of her that I never knew existed. I want to spend more time with her then I used to. I feel like I want to spend as much time as I possibly can with her. I mean, I'm finally realizing that she's such a sweet, caresmatic, fun-loving girl, and she loves me for who I am. The last thing I'd want right now is to lose her. If only there was a way I could just spend time with her and only her."

"Well what you're thinking of is a date." Linda explained to him.

"A date?"

"Well yeah, it's when a boy makes plans to spend time with his girlfriend."

"Really? Well, what really happens on this "date" you speak of?"

"It depends on the relationship."

"Hmm...well that sounds interesting. Do you think I should try that with Isabella? I mean, I don't want to rush into something like that if I don't feel ready for it."

"If you think you're ready for it, I say go for it!"

"I do! I do think I'm ready! Thanks, mom! Thanks dad!" He ran up to his parents, gave them a big hug, and then ran upstairs to get dressed & ready for his big day withIsabella. "I'm going on a date with Isabella!" He kept chanting to himself as he was getting dressed. Meanwhile, the two parents turned to their other son, Ferb.

"So Ferb, what are _you_ planning to do today?"

Ferb pondered on that question for a moment, and then looked back to his parents. "I don't know."

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, back at Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz's lair, the evil doctor was busy watching TV. He had officially hit an inventor's block with his evil missions, and had no idea what to do for that day. So he thought he would watch some TV to get some inspiration. Unfortunately, all he got was infomercials.

"_Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art!"_

_"Hi, I'm Al Harrington from Al Harrington's 'Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube-Man' Emporium and Warehouse'! As an unwanted result from a recent lawsuit, I am now in posession of hundreds of palettes of Crudely-Painted No-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! and it's just  
waiting to transform your uncut, trash-strewn lawn into a living canvas that tells passers-by, "Hey, everyone, a real funny bugler lives here." Your neighbors will chuckle warmly, and motorists will slow down and applaud when they cast their eyes on such favorites as...Sort-of Ben and Jerry's-Looking Cow, Black Silhouetted Cowboy Leaning on Barn and everybody's favorite, Fat Woman Bending Over Tending to her Garden in Big, Polka-Dotted Bloomers. Most of this stuff is price to move and until it does, it's an enormous fire hazard, so please, come see me, on Route 2 in Weekapaug!"_

"Ugh, why won't that guy just dump those things!?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz yelled to the TV screen as he snacked on some popcorn. At that moment the doorbell rang, so he put his snack down and went to the door to see who it was. "Perry the Platypus, don't you think it's a little bit early to be foiling my plan--" He stopped mid-sentence when he realized Perry wasn't there. Instead, he looked down and saw a baby stroller at his front door, and it had a sleeping baby inside it. "Ooh, what do we have here?"

He picked the baby boy up from his stroller and held him in his arms. "Oh, what a cute little baby." He started talking baby talk to it. "Yes you are. Yes you are. Yes you -- wait a minute, there's a note here." He saw that a small piece of paper was sticking out from the baby's shirt. So he put the baby down, took the note out and read it. "_Dear Heinz, this is your baby. Next time use a condom, jerk. Love, Elizabeth. P.S., it's a boy. His name is Mark._" He pondered on that name for a moment. "Do I know an Elizabeth? Anyway," He went around and pushed the stroller into his room and closed the door behind him.

He couldn't help but stare at the now awake baby for a long moment. The baby simply stared back at the evil doctor, not making a single sound. "Well...this sucks. I have no idea on how to take care of a baby! I mean, I know I have a daughter already, but that was different! How am I supposed to do this? Oh for crying out loud, now I have to go to the store and get diapers, baby formula, a crib, and all that stuff. Ugh, this is going to be torture. I hope Perry the Platypus doesn't show up today."

* * *

Phineas walked up to Isabella Garcia-Shapiro's house, and knocked on the front door several times and waited for Isabella to come out. He saw a big daisy nearby and decided to pick it for her, because he knew daisies were her favorite kind of flower.

A minute later, Isabella's mother, Vivian-Garcia Shapiro, answered the door and saw Phineasstanding there withtheflower. "Oh hello, Phineas. I can't believe it. It's been so long. How much have you grown?" She started talking really fast, so Phineas interveined before she got too far in.

"Hi, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro. Is Isabella home? I wanted to talk to her." He said calmly to her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Yes, but she's still sleeping."

"Oh. She is? I thought she'd be awake by now."

"No, that slumber party you had with her took a toll on her and she came home completely drained."

"Well...can I go up and see her anyway?"

"Of course. Just be gentle up there and try not to make too much noise. She gets very weak and fatigued if she doesn't get enough sleep." She cleared the pathway for him to go inside and upstairs to her room. He climbed up the stairs and knocked on her door quietly three times. There was no response, but he saw that her bedroom door was open, so he calmly tip-toed in. Vivian was right, as Phineas saw. Isabella was sound asleep in her bed, hugging her teddy bear. She had dark circles under her eyes, probably from the sleep deprivation she suffered from the slumber party.

It was 7:30, and Phineas was very eager to spend the day with his girlfriend. But he also didn't want to wake her in case she was cranky or ill or something like that. So he softly and slowly nudged her back and forth in the hopes of stirring her awake. "Just five more minutes, mom. I'm so tired..." She yawned. Since that didn't work, Phineas decided to wrap his arms around her neck and kiss her on the cheek to see if that would do it.

"Isabella, it's me." He said quietly as he let go. Upon hearing his voice, she began stirring around and eventually did open her eyes halfway.

"Oh! Hi Phineas!" She said gleefully though still groggily. Her fatigue didn't stop her from sitting up, getting out of bed and embracing her boyfriend as tightly as she could. Phineas gave her a good morning kiss on both of her cheeks. "How'd you get in my house?"

"Your mom let me in." He replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came over to see if you...wanted to spend the day with me."

"Um, duh! Of course. But what crazy plan do you have for today--"

"No, no, no, not like that. I meant, you know...like a _date_?"

"Oh...you want to take me out on a date?"

"Yes. I coulda sworn I just said that--"

Phineas's self-thinking was interrupted when Isabella jumped into his arms and kissed him. "Oh Phineas, I have been waiting for something like this for over 5 years!"

"And the wait is over!"

"Well, almost over."

"What? You mean you've already made plans?"

"Plans!? Phineas, I just woke up! Do you honestly think I'm going to go on a date with you in my PJ's?" Just then her stomach growled loudly. "Or on an empty stomach? I mean, it's 7:30 for heaven's sake. I don't usually get up until about 8."

"Oh. I'm sorry, then. I usually get up at 7 and I got so excited I raced over here."

"That's OK. I'm feeling refreshed anyway. That lazy day we all took yesterday really payed off. Just give me some time to eat something, shower, and dress. Alright?"

"Sure. I'll wait by your doorstep, and you just come out whenever you're ready."

"OK." They hugged and she kissed him on his forehead as he turned around to leave. "I love you." He said to her before left her house and waited outside on her front porch. She responded with "I love you too!" before he was out of earshot.

Phineas couldn't help it, but he found himself staring at Isabella's bedroom window the entire time. He was overcome with love and other emotions. "Wow, I've never felt this way about anyone or anything before. Isabella's truly one of a kind. She's like that pet you get that you just adapt to and can't help but love unconditionally. Speaking of pets, I wonder where Perry is. I didn't see him this morning when I woke up."

* * *

His pet platypus, Perry, was already in his lair, in his secret agent fedora, at his computer, ready to receive his mission from Major Monogram.

"Oh, Agent P!" Monogram shouted when he saw Perry at the computer. "You're early." Once again, Carl failed to give him a close up, and it showed Perry that his boss wasn't wearing any pants. "Carl! Carl!! Give me a close up!!"

"Sorry sir." His somewhat careless intern said as he obeyed.

"That's better. Anyway, it's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. In the past hour, he has been spotted going into Danville's All-Baby-All-The-Time Emporium, and he's purchased the following items: 5 packages of diapers, 2 canteens of baby formula, and some baby toys which include a rattle, a teddy bear, a Mary McGuffin doll, and a Binky."

"Now, normally, we'd say this was part of an evil scheme, had not our cameras picked up Doofenshmirtz pushing around a baby carriage with a baby inside of it while he was in the store."

"You know sir, he could just be baby-sitting." His intern, Carl, said off-camera.

"Now what would Doofenshmirtz get out of that? Huh? I'll tell you what he'd get. Absolutely nothing! He's an evil scientist, Carl, not a lady's man!"

"It was just a suggestion, sir."

"Anyway, so, to recap. Doofenshmirtz. Baby toys. Baby food. Baby. Get on it!"

Perry saluted his boss and took his jetpack over to the lair of his nemesis.

* * *

Phineas only had to wait a half hour for his girlfriend to eat something, shower, and get dressed. She came out at about 8:00, wearing her trademark pink dress, white shirt, pink bow, and pink shoes. Her raven black hair looked as if it had been washed in holy water. Phineas was lovestruck, as his jaw dropped to the ground upon seeing her.

"Hi Phineas." Isabella said in her cutest voice possible. "Ready to go?"

The boy came back to reality and responded to her. "Uh, sure, Isabella. W-Wow. You...you look..."

"Yes..."

"You look gorgeous. But...but why? I-It's not like I'm taking you out on a romantic cruise or anything."

"I know, but I figured that since it's our first date and I wanted to look my very best."

"Oh...well thank you for making me look like an idiot."

"What do you mean?"

"Isabella, look at yourself! You're adorable! And here I am wearing my regular orange/white shirt and blue shorts. I must look like a total doofus to you!" He turned his back to her, feeling a bit like he did something wrong.

"You're not a doofus! You look just fine to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I said it before and I'll say it again. I'm always going to like your style."

"Thanks, Isabella." He said as she strolled casually to her boyfriend, gave him a hug, and the two started walking down her driveway and to the street, ready to experience the joys of their first date.

"By the way, I picked this out for you." Phineas said taking out a daisy from his back pocket and giving it to Isabella.

"Oh Phineas, daisies are my favorite!" She said as she took it and smelled it. After that she started fiddling around with her bow and then placed the daisy right beside it in her hair. "How does it look?"

"It looks wonderful." He said as she giggled playfully and wrapped her arms around Phineas's torso, which made him laugh, too.

"So Phineas...what are we going to do today?" His girlfriend asked which suddenly made Phineas stop in his tracks.

"Uh...I don't know. I thought that when a boy takes a girl out on a date, the girl usually decides what to do."

"And I usually thought that it's the boy that decides what to do."

"Oh man, I'm completely clueless!"

"Me too."

The two stopped walking for a minute and sat down on the sidewalk, hoping that they would come up with something that they could do for their first date. "Man, I probably should've thought this one through before I came over."

"Yeah, that would've helped. Hey, I know! Why don't we just go for a walk and maybe some ideas will pop up."

"A walk would sound nice, especially when it's with you." Isabella giggled again as the two embraced tightly. She always felt comfortable when Phineas held her.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Phineas's house, Ferb was sitting under the big tree in the backyard, trying to think of something to do when his friends, Baljeet, Buford, and Isabella's Fireside Girls Troop came strolling along.

"Yo, Ferb!" Buford called out. "Whatcha doin'?"

Ferb simply shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't know?"

"Hey, where is Phineas? Isn't he usually here with you, sitting under the tree?" Baljeet inquired.

"He's out on a date with Isabella." Ferb replied.

"A date!?"

"Yeah, Isabella called me up earlier and asked me to lead today's Fireside Girls meeting since she wasn't going to make it. I guess this is why." Gretchen explained.

"So Isabella is skipping her Fireside Girls meeting -- a scout troop in which she is leader -- for a _date _with Phienas!?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Baljeetblinked a few times, trying to comprehend that information, and then burst out into laughter. "That is so stupid!" Everybody suddenly frowned at him. "Why would Phineaswantto go out on a date with _her_!? Girls are so icky and disgusting!!" Ginger, in a rage, stormed up to Baljeet and slapped him in his face, so he fell right to the ground and landed on his stomach.

"_You're_ so icky and disgusting!!" She shouted as she turned around and walked away. Everyone else shook their heads as they sat down under the big oak tree, trying to think of something to do. Baljeet was confused as to why he was just slapped by Ginger, as he had absolutely no concept of girls and romance, not like Phineas or any of his other friends for that matter.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry had just arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and was about to enter his room. He was going to just break in, but then he saw a baby stroller just outside his door, and he heard light crying in his room. So instead he used the spare key Doofenshmirtz had given him and walked through like a civilized platypus. Once inside, he saw Dr. Doofenshmirtz caring for the baby that he found earlier. He was rocking him in his arms trying to calm the disturbed child down. He wasn't sobbing like a maniac like most babies do, but he was crying out for something, and Doofenshmirtz had no idea what to do.

"Oh hi Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz said casually upon seeing the platypus there. "Thank you for using the door. It-It's much more civilized that way, especially when I'm not performing an evil scheme. Anyway, I don't know why Monogram sent you here. I-I suppose he saw me going into the All-Baby-All-The-Time Emporium and buying all of this baby stuff. But it's not what you think."

"You see, early this morning, my doorbell rang and when I went to see who it was, the only thing there was this little baby boy in a carriage. Then I found this note and it said "_Dear Heinz, this is your baby. Next time use a condom, jerk. Love, Elizabeth."_. I have no idea who it was from, but it said the baby's name is Mark. Now, I think that's an adorable name, but if it really were my baby, I would've named it Prescott. I don't know why, I just like that name. Anyway, so for the past hour, I've been trying to tend to this baby's need, but I have absolutely no idea what it wants."

Perry could see the doctor was truly in distress, and saw that the baby was crying hysterically now. So, Perry thought quickly and grabbed a nearby Binky, and handed it to Doofenshmirtz. "Oh, you think he wants _this_? I see." The doctor put the toy right into the baby's mouth, at which point the little boy slowly stopped crying and began sucking on it. He started calming down as he continued sucking on it, and in just seconds, his eyes were closed and he was practically asleep. "Perry the Platypus, how did you know how to do that?"

Perry wasn't sure if he should tell the doctor, so he just made his standard growling noise.

"Hmm, I wish I hadn't thrown out my old animal translator-inator. Then I'd be able to understand you. Anyway, Perry the Platypus, I know this is going to sound totally cliché, but...would you, would you mind staying here for a while and helping me take care of this child? Please? I'm completely lost! I know I should know how to care for a child, but withVanessa, it was different. Her mother took care of her when it came to diapers and food and all that stuff. Me, I just took her out to the park to play with other babies. It was easier back then."

Perry was very eager to just walk out the door right then and there and let Dr. D suffer at the hands of a little baby. But, he wasn't that kind of a platypus. So instead, he went over to the kithen, and started mixing up some baby formula, much to the delight of Dr. D. "Oh thank you, Perry the Platypus. Without you here, this baby would probably wear me down by dinner time. And I still want to do something evil before the day ends."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas and Isabella were on their walk, trying desperately to figure out what to do for their date. They were absolutely clueless as to these kinds of things, but they didn't want to give up just yet. Phineas was so determined to have the perfect first date with Isabella. Now if only he had a clue of what to do.

"You're awfully quiet." Isabella said to him as he looked up.

"Sorry. I'm just trying of think of something for us to do."

"It's OK if you can't, Phineas. I don't mind just spending time with you like this."

"Yeah, but I feel bad. I wanted to do something totally romantic for you. In fact..." He noticed that he and Isabella were about to pass by one of the most exclusive restaurants in Danville, entitled "One of the Most Exclusive Restaurants in Danville". Redundant, right? "One sec." Phineaspicked up his phone and started dialing the number of the restaurant. "Uh, Isabella, would you mind covering your ears and closing your eyes for this? I want it to be a surprise." Isabella was skeptical but obeyed and covered her ears and closed her eyes while Phineastalkedon the phone. "Yes, I'd like to make a reservation. Yes, the "Luxury Paradise" package, please. Under the name "Flynn". "Phineas Flynn" for, say, right now? Great. Buh-bye." He hung up.

Isabella took her hands off her ears and opened her eyes. "Phineas, what was _that_ all about?"

"I just made us a reservation for _the_ most exclusive restaurant in town for right now. Come on! OH wait, I almost forgot!" Phineas pulled out a hoop, put it on the ground, and stepped into it. Five seconds later, static electricity covered him, and his clothes were instantly changed from his regular orange shirt and blue shorts to a black suit w/ white shirt & tie, black pants, & black shoes. "Gotta look our best. Here, you try Isabella." Isabella stepped into the hoop, and in no time, her clothes were transformed from her regular pink dress, white shirt, & pink shoes to a purple ballgown & purple shoes.

"Wow...Phineas, w-what's the meaning of this?"

"Isabella, I present to you my Clothes-Catcher. It can magically transform your clothes for any occasion, such as a wedding or a funeral or if you just want to look fancy, like right now."

"Cool. But Phineas--"

"No time, Isabella. Come on, or else our reservation's going to expire!" She grabbed her arm and they ran inside to claim their reservation.

"Aren't you a little young to be making a reservation at this restaurant?" The guy at the front desk asked.

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Well then, terrific! Right this way." He led the two kids to their table, which was right in the middle of their restaurant. The table had such fine silverware, the plates were first-class, but the chairs...they were...well, at first there was a lot to be desired because they looked like regular old massage chairs. But the good news was...they were massage chairs.

"What up with these chairs?" Isabella asked as she pressed the button on the chair's remote that said "on". She was a bit surprised to find out that it was actually a massage chair. "Phi-i-ineas! Wha-a-t is thi-is?" She said as he chair started working, to her somewhat delight.

"I ordered us the special "Luxury Paradise" package. It comes with massage chairs to relax in while we eat, gourmé food, and after we're done eating, they're gonna take us upstairs where they have massages, hottubs, mud baths, seaweed wraps, the works."

"So...it's like a retaurant/spa?"

"Exactly."

"Gosh, Phineas, this is...totally unexpected."

"And it's romantic, just like you wanted. Right?" Isabella flashed back to the time they made a romantic cruise for Baljeet and Mishti, where she thought it was for her and Phineas, and was pissed off at him when it turned out not that way. She started to feel a bit guilty. "Nothing's too good for my girlfriend. Besides, you've been so tense the past few days, I figured you could some relaxation." He said as he turned on his massage chair.

"Sure. Whatever." She said in a low and flat tone.

"After lunch, we're due for a hot tub treatment upstairs. Hope you packed your rubber ducky. Oh good, here comes the music!" Behind them came up the band that played for Baljeet and Mishtionthat romantic cruise. Now it was their turn to hear their version of romantic music. Unfortunately, Isabella wasn't in the mood, so while Phineas was enjoying it (or at least pretending to enjoy it for her), she was sulking in her massage chair.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry were up to their knees in diaper doody. Literally. They were changing the baby's diaper left and right. In fact, they had already gone through a whole package of diapers already, and they were down to their last one. So they were hoping that he wouldn't have to be changed again while they were feeding him.

"Open up, Mark. Here comes to choo-choo train." Dr. D said in a baby voice as Perry held up a spoon of his baby formula and began imitating a train'smovement with his arm, while making his standard platypus sound, apparently trying to imitate a train's horn. But the baby wasn't buying it, and backed his head away from the goods. "Oh come on, Mark. You know you have to eat something or else you're going to starve. And I'm certainly not making you anything else."

Mark was continuing to resist, and Doofenshmirtz was becoming irritable and frustrated. But then, he got a not-so-stelleridea. "Wait, I have an idea." He said to Perry as he took out a rock, held one of the baby's feet withhisleft hand, and then slammed the rock into his foot with his right hand. This caused him so much pain that he started crying hysterically, screaming at the top of his lungs. Perry quickly fed the baby its food, put the spoon down, and then glared at Dr. D. "What? Did I do something wrong?"

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, the gang were still contemplating ideas on what to do for today. They were completely clueless. Luckily, Stacy & Jeremy had come back, so hopefully they'll be able to help.

"Hey guys." Stacy said as she and Jeremy came in. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"Trying to think of something to do today." Ferb answered them.

"Well where's your brother and his girlfriend? Maybe they can help."

"They're out on their first date." Baljeet said in a rather mocking tone, to the chargin of everyone else.

"Oh. Well, good for them."

"Good!?" Baljeetsnorted. "Who wants to go out on a date with a _girl_!? I mean, girls are so icky and gross!" Baljeet stopped and noticed the angry glares coming from the Fireside Girls and Stacy. "What?"

"Anywho..." Jeremy said, trying to get back on the subject. "What have you guys come up with so far?"

"Absolutely nothing." Buford said. "Haven't you been paying attention? We have nothing!"

"Oh. Well...hmm...that's a problem."

"We know, Dilweed."

"Hey, I know! What about a roller coaster?" Stacy suggested.

"That was the very first project Phineas and I performed." Ferb reminded her.

"Oh. Well--"

"Hey, what about making your own cartoon?"

"We've done that too." Buford reminded him. "I was Belch Man."

"OK. Well then, what else is there?" The friends all sat around, thinking of more ways to have fun that have not already been attempted by them before. But they had an extremely hard time doing it.

* * *

After lunch, which consisted of lobster, spaghetti & meatballs, and a ceasersalad, PhineasandIsabella were brought upstairs to the second floor for their luxurious spa treatment. They first started with the foot rub. They were placed in two chairs next to each other, and two swedishwomencame into the room, ripped off their shoes (literally, they ripped them off of their feet) put some lotion on their hands, and began rubbing their feet. There were hearts decorating the room, and pictures of the two of them together, specifically to Phineas's orders, and while Phineas was enjoying it and the "romance feel" of it, Isabella was not.

She was very annoyed that Phineas was trying so hard to be "romantic" when all she really wanted was to spend time with him and do things kids would normally do.

"Ahh, this is the life!" Phineas said as his foot was being rubbed.

"Phineas, I don't mean to be rude, but how on Earth is a _foot rub_ romantic!?" Isabella asked him.

"Because I asked the Danville Orchestra to play a romantic song for us while we're being pampered. Entertainment and relaxation. Now _that's_ romance!"

"If you say so..." Isabella sank lower into her chair as her foot kept getting rubbed down.

After the foot rub, they were both laid down on their stomachs and were given a back and shoulder massage. It was, again, one of Phineas's ideas. The two swedishwomengave them the massage of a lifetime. Even though Isabella actually enjoyed this, she was still frustrated that he was trying to be over the top with the romance.

"Phineas, are you sure this is necessary?"

"Of course, Isabella. Everyone knows that the first step to romance is being pampered with your significant other."

"Where'd you read that?"

"Some fat guy's been blogging about romance tips for weeks."

Isabella rolled her eyes and simply decided to enjoy the pampering. She truly did enjoy it while it was happening, though she secretly wished it didn't happen in the first place.

The final phase of the luxury session was a period of relaxation in a hot tub. Phineas took her into the room where they kept the hot tub. It was everything a hot tub should have been. The water was steaming hot, yet not so hot that it burned your genital organs. The two went into different changing rooms, took their clothes off, put a towel on, and then climbed into the hot tub together, careful not to open their eyes until they were both sure they were fully in.

"Ahh..." Phineas let out a major sigh of relief as he sank into the tub. "Now _this_ is what _I_ call luxury. Don't you think, Isabella?"

"Sure." She said bitterly as she attempted to let the water relax her.

"And look," He pressed a button on the wall, and the light suddenly changed from standard to hot pink, and in the shape of a heart, too. " We have our own spotlight. Isn't this the most romantic thing you've ever seen, Izzy?"

"Yes. Yes it is, Phineas." She said bitterly. She put her hand on the side of the tub, ready to jump out. "But you know what, Phineas! I don't like it!" She shouted, finally, and jumped out of the tub, put a towel over her waist, and started drying herself off.

"What's going on, Isabella!?" Phineas shouted out, but didn't get out of the hottub so his private parts wouldn't be shown. After what happened the last time, he didn't want to take a chance like that again.

"EVERYTHING, PHINEAS! The fancy food, the fancy clothes, the fancy restaurant, the pampering...it-it's just all too much for me! I don't like it!"

"But it's romantic, Isabella! And if I remember correctly, you _wanted_ me to be romantic!" He shouted back to her, which made her flinch. Suddenly, he realized he had yelled and covered his mouth in shame. She looked at him with sympathy and sighed as she started to put her clothes back on, with the towel still on her of course.

"Is this all because of that stupid cruise?"

"Yes. Yes it is. I saw that you were upset back then because the cruise was for Baljeet and Mishti, but I never understood why. And now that we're together, I kinda felt guilty...I felt that I had let you down, and secretly, you were waiting for something like this, and I wanted to make it up to you." Soon he got out of the tub. Isabella handed him a towel to put on so nothing would be shown (and so that she wouldn't be tempted to, er, touch something she shouldn't) and started drying himself off and putting on his clothes. He looked at her with such sad eyes that she couldn't stay mad at her, and instead reached out, picked him up, and hugged him.

"Oh Phineas, I'm sorry. That was really sweet of you to do, but the truth is, now that we are together, all that I really want is to spend time with you...no matter what we're doing."

"Really?"

"Of course. We could be sitting under a tree looking up at the clouds; we could be riding our bikes across town; it could be anything. As long as we're together, I'm always going to be happy." She put him down and let go of him.

"Isabella, I'm real sorry about all of this. I let my guilt get the better of me, and I went totally overboard."

"It's alright, Phineas. I forgive you. I know you were just trying to make me happy, and I really do appreciate it. You're the sweetest boy I've ever met, and that's why I fell in love with you in the first place." The two forgave each other and hugged, knowing all was well once again. Phineas used his clothes-changer device to change their clothes back to normal.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz and Perry were very busy trying to get baby Mark to fall asleep. "Come on, you stupid little baby! Close your eyes and shut up, already! Jeez, what do I have to do!?" The doctor screamed while trying desperately to rock the child to sleep. Perry was buys fixing up the pillows and the blankets in the baby's crib. "Come on, already! What in the world do I have to do!? Sing him a lullaby!?"

Perry stopped what he was doing and looked at Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Oh no, Perry the Platypus! I am not singing a lullaby to this creature! You know that I have a horrible singing voice! But...that does give me an idea!" Doofenshmirtz put the baby into its crib, where it simply laid there, confused. It started crying lightly, but by that time Doofenshmirtzhad returned, this time withasmall, silver, metal ray gun with a clear tube that you could load stuff into to fire out of the gun. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! Bow to my newest creation!" He also took out of his pocket little light green balls about the size of the tip of a pencil eraser.

"These little balls have large amounts of a new sleeping potion I concocted in my spare time. Now, when I load them into this ray gun," Which he promptly proceeded to do. "I can aim it anywhere I choose. When I pull the trigger, a ball will shoot out, like so." He aimed the ray gun out an open window and pulled the trigger. A light green ball shot out and traveled out the window at about 80 miles per hour. "And once it lands on the ground, it will release a silent soundwave as it explodes, and anyone who is caught in the middle of it will instantly fall asleep for an undetermined amount of time! And the reason I say that is because, well, it-it really depends on how close to the actual ball itself a person is when it explodes. You know, they could be put out for just 5 minutes or they could be put out for a full 8 hour sleep, and anywhere in between."

"Now..." Dr. Doofenshmirtz was ready to aim his gun at the baby, but then thought about it. "You know what, I'm not sure what'll happen if I shoot from a short-range distance. So, I'm-I'm just gonna go for long distance." He turned around and started walking towards the window, just to be safe.

* * *

Now for those of you out there who are wondering whatever happened to that little ball. Well, I'll tell you. Turns out Dr. D's aim was good enough to shoot towards "One of the Most Exclusive Restaurants in Danville". It missed, though, by a few feet, and landed in the middle of the street. (Hey, that rhymed!) Ironically, one of the employees from the restaurant was just leaving as the ball landed. He walked right past the ball when it landed, but he didn't get far enough to pass by the soundwave it unleashed. As a result, he was put to sleep on the spot. That's right. He collapsed in the street and was out like a light.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Family Guy's Cleveland Brown was driving up the street towards the restaurant. Unfortunately he was distracted because he was listening to "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" on the radio. "Hmm, I don't understand why my family loves this song. I mean, the lyrics don't make sense, the music is crappy, and the singers are obvious high on--OH MY GOD!" He suddenly looked up at the road and saw the sleeping man in the street. He quickly and forcefully turned his steering wheel to the left. But with no time to evade, he ended up losing control of his car and was about to crash into the restaurant at 65 miles per hour.

Meanwhile, inside, Isabella and Phineas were still in the hot tub room, still talking about what to do for the rest of the day.

"So now what? I mean, the day is still young. We could still do something else together."

"Like what? What is it that you think is the funnest activity you like doing?"

"Actually," Isabella reached into her back pocket and pulled out a list. "I made a whole list." And handed it to Phineas, who began reading it, and was surprised at what Isabella liked to do. "And the extra fun things I like do...I've written in red."

"Everything's in red."

"Yeah, I know!" (**Spongebob Squarepants reference**)

**_CRASH!!_** Their fun and happiness was quickly disrupted when they heard a loud crash come from the building. Having been caught off-guard, Phineas shrieked out and jumped up, which caused Isabella to react and catch him before he fell. The entire front of the building was destroyed, revealing the restaurant on the bottom floor and the spa on the top floor. The hot tub was located near the edge of the building. The floorboard started tilting as the hot tub started slipping. The hot tub fell to the ground, breaking on impact.

"Wow, good thing we weren't in there, right?" Phineas inquired, which made Isabella laugh.

Meanwhile, as for Cleveland, he had to use a crowbar he had just to dig himself out of his own car. When he was successful, he looked around and saw the destroyed restaurant and the destroyed hot tub. "Why is it that every time this happens, _I'm_ somehow involved!?" He shouted to nobody in particular.

* * *

Dr. D was about to fire his ray gun. "Alright, Perry the Platypus. When I pull this trigger, a ball filled with the most powerful sleeping potion in the world will be fired, and if I aim correctly, he be knocked out and I won't have to listen to his horrid crying anymore!" He aimed the gun at the crying baby. Perry took several steps back so he wouldn't be in the line of fire. Doofenshmirtz pulled the trigger and fired a ball out that actually landed in the baby's crib right next to his head. It exploded and immediately put him to sleep. "Yes!" Doofenshmirtz shouted out in joy. "I am a genius!"

He started walking towards the crib. "Now I won't have to listen to this baby's awful crying anymore, and I won't have to worry about changing his diaper or feeding him until he wakes up!" He was rejoicing in the moment, but then started thinking that all of this would probably happen again tomorrow. "Ugh, I just thought of something. I'll have to do this all over again tomorrow, too. After all, it is my baby. Hmm...or is it?"

Perry raised an eyebrow. "Y-You know what, Perry the Platypus? I-I just remembered that I have another errand to run today, and I don't have time to pull off an evil scheme. So what do you say we pick this up, say, same time tomorrow?"

* * *

As for Isabella and Phineas, the first thing on Isabella's list was to go to the movies and watch one of the newest movies out, which just so happened to be "Twilight: New Moon", and they both enjoyed it very much.

**_Summer! I love summer,  
Give me that summer time,  
Summer, maybe 86,400 seconds  
That's fast,  
Gotta make summer last!_**

The next thing on the list which they did was go to the water park and ride all of the water park rides. The following things on the list were broken up in the category of "water park", listing what rides to ride. Luckily, Phineas planned ahead and brought their swimsuits to put on before they went on any of the rides. They both ended up getting soaking wet, but they both loved it very much.

**__****_Summer! I love summer,  
Give me that summer time,  
Summer, maybe 86,400 seconds  
That's fast,  
Gotta make summer last!_**

The last thing on the list was to watch the sunset together, which they did on top of the highest hill they could find in Danville. It was beautiful, and it only reminded them how much they loved each other.

It was now almost 8:00 at night, and Phineas and Isabella were on their way home. Isabella was on her cellphone calling her mom, letting her know she was on her way home.

"Yeah, mom, it was the greatest day of my life!" She shouted into the phone. "At first, Phineas was trying to be this over-the-top romantic guy with me; you know, pampering, fancy food, fancy clothes, but I told him that I didn't like that kind of stuff and I just wanted to do stuff that friends do. So then, afterwards, we went to the movies, and then to the water park, and then we watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful! Ugh, yes, mom, I'm on my way home now. Yes, Phineas is walking me. OK, bye." She hung up and sighed. "God, my mom is so pushy!"

They were coming up on Phineas's house, and noticed all of their friends were still in the backyard, sitting around and trying to think of something to do for that day. They had not noticed that it was now nighttime. So they decided to pay them a visit.

"Hey guys." Phineas said as they walked into the backyard. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"We're trying to think of something to do today." Stacy answered.

"Today? Uh, guys? It's nighttime. The day's practically over."

Stacy, Jeremy, and all the kids looked up and saw that the moon was out, the sun was gone, and it was almost 8:00. "Holy cow! It's night?"

"Uh, yes. I could've sworn I just said that."

"Wow. Time really flies when you're thinking about stuff." Jeremy commented.

"So...how was your date?" Adyson asked her fellow troop leader.

"It was awesome!" Isabella shouted out. "At first, Phineas tried to take me to this fancy restaurant/spa to get me pampered. But after I explained to him that I didn't want any over-the-top romantic jestures, we went to the movies, went to the water park, and we watched the sunset together."

"Wow, it sounds like you have a great day." Stacy said.

"Oh it wasn't just great." Phineas looked Isabella in her eyes and kissed her. Everybody aw'ed except Baljeet, who crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "It was perfect." The two of them hugged warmly, and Isabella smiled.

"Well, that's it." Adyson got up, took out a badge, and stuck it on Isabella's dress. "You've officially earned your "I got a cute boy to be my boyfriend" badge."

"I thought you got that badge when we came home from California."

"A boyfriend's not official until you go out on a date with him."

"Well guys, it's getting late. Why don't you all go home and we'll think of a new project to do tomorrow?" The kids all agreed and started heading back home, ready to eat dinner and go to bed. Phineas and Isabella kissed goodnight, and then did the same thing.

He and his stepbrother went into the house and saw a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs waiting for them. "Hi boys, how was your day?" Linda asked them as they came in.

"Mine sucked." Ferb said flatly. "I didn't do anything."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that. How about you, Phineas?"

"My day? Well, it was perfect." The boy heard a growling sound and looked down to see it was his pet platypus. "There you are, Perry."

* * *

**During the Credits**

Dr. Doofenshmirtz sat down in his comfy chair and turned on the TV, completely content with what he had done today.

"Ahh, finally. I can just sit down and watch some TV." He said to himself as he sighed of relief. "And for the first time today, I don't have to worry about an annoying baby who needs changing or feeding or sleeping or anything like that."

It turns out that Dr. Doofenshmirtz had decided to get rid of baby Mark, and he did so by dumping the baby into the dumpster behind his building. He was crying like crazy, upset and hysterical that his own father had given him up. But luck shined on him that night because a passing married couple who was looking to start a family heard the baby's crying, opened up the dumpster, and saw the baby covered in dirt.

They felt very sorry for him and decided to take him home. So everything worked out for the better. Well, at least for them. As for Doofenshmirtz, well...the family found out that he was responsible for this just as they were leaving, so they stormed up to his room, and each took a turn kicking his ass.

**End of Episode 5!**

**Hope you enjoyed this episode! I'll start working on the next one right away! Oh and keep an eye out for my next fanfic! It's a crossover between Phineas and Ferb & Family Guy, so look out for it in that section. It will be entitled "The Great Misunderstanding" and let me tell you, it will change the way you think about this show.**

**Next Time: A new girl moves into town, and we get to see Isabella's jealous side for the first time.**

**Expected Update: Sometime before the end of the week of the 21st!**


	7. 6: The Girl Next Door

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 6: The Girl Next Door**

**Episode Summary: A new girl moves into town and becomes instant friends with Phineas & Ferb. But when this new girl begins to get close to Phineas, Isabella's jealousy gets the best of her. Meanwhile, Candace attempts to escape her military school, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz tries to eliminate all videotapes in the Tri-State Area.**

**A/N: Sorry it took a while to update. I got a writer's block.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!**

* * *

**_It was a brand new day in Danville. Phineas and Ferb were still asleep in their beds, as it was not even 7:00 yet. They were dreaming what most boys at this age dream about: what to do that day, with the exception of Phineas, who was dreaming about what to do that day and how to do it with Isabella. But, their sweet dreams, along with the dreams of everyone on Maple Drive were interrupted by the sounds of loud trucks outside. All the kids woke up and looked outside their windows and saw the moving trucks outside a home that was right next to Phineas and Ferb's house.

Up the street, there was one more truck coming. But the driver wasn't paying attention to the road, and was driving insanely fast. So when he noticed he was coming up on the house he was supposed to be bringing the stuff to, the driver slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. The truck swirved a bit to its left, kept going another 5 blocks before it finally crashed into...you guess it. Cleveland's house! And that's right, he was taking a bath. Again.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. "Doggone it! I'm getting too old for this!"

Phineas & Ferb saw the whole thing from their bedroom window. "Moving trucks and Mr. Brown's house getting destroyed at 7 in the morning? Well there's something you don't see everyday." Phineas said to his silent brother. "Come on. Let's go down there and see what's going on."

So the two brothers plus Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford quickly got dressed and ran down their stairs and out their doors to see what was happening outside. They snuck up to the bushes which seperated the brothers' house from the then empty house. Why they were doing it in the first place when they could just walk up to whoever was there and say is beyond me. "Do you see anything?" Phineas asked any of his friends, who all shook their heads no.

"I can't see anything over these dang bushes." Buford said.

"Me neither." Baljeet agreed. "Can't we get any closer, Phineas?"

"Not yet, Baljeet. We don't know anything about these people yet. What if these new neighbors of ours aren't so nice?" Phineas implied. "I mean, I don't want them to be some mean ol' neighbors that just yell and rant at us?"

"You had no problem when Candace was doing it to you."

"Yeah, but that's different. She was family. I had no choice. These are complete strangers. Who knows how crazy they are?"

The friends all peered their heads over the top of the bushes to see what was happening. They couldn't see that much past the workers moving some furniture into the house. They could tell based on what they could see that it was a married couple and that they had one child.

They didn't catch much else other than that. But, once all of the equipment was moved into the house and all the furniture was gone, they did notice a small, little girl playing with a game of "Operation" all by herself in her lawn. This girl had short, brown hair, light skin, a yellow shirt, blue pants, and white shoes. "Hey, who's that?" Isabella asked, pointing to the little girl.

"I don't know. It looks like it might be their kid." Phineas replied.

"Aww, she looks so sad."

"Well she's probably just very lonely. Moving to a new town can be pretty tough on a kid."

"Let's go talk to her. I'm sure she could use a new friend right now." The kids all snuck through the bushes quietly so they wouldn't disturb the girl. But while they didn't necessarily disturb her, they did catch her attention. The girl turned the game off and slowly looked up at the kids as they looked down on her. She was a bit afraid at first, but once she saw that they were waiting for her to say something, she began to relax a little.

"H-Hi." She said softly as she stood up.

"Hi there. Are you new to this neighborhood?" Phineas asked kindly.

"Yes. Who are all of you?" The little girl asked as she stood up.

"Well," Phineas went around and introduced the whole gang to her. "I'm Phineas, this is my stepbrother, Ferb--"

"Charmed to meet you." Ferb greeted in such an English way that most grown-ups who read this would probably throw up.

"This is the neighborhood bully, but also a very good friend, Buford--"

"You know how most bullies want lunch money from nerds? Well, me, I prefer somebody's underpants."

"Y-You can have _my _underpants." A scared Baljeet offered. "They just got very messy all of a sudden."

"Thanks. But it ain't the same if I don't rip 'em off you first."

"Oh yeah, this is our very studious and intelectual friend, Baljeet." Phineas introduced Baljeet, who looked at Phineas very angrily and even whispered into his ear.

"_She won't be yours forever, Flynn!_" He was referring to Isabella. Phineas seemed confused but didn't dwell on it for long.

"And finally, I give you my best friend of all _and_ girlfriend, Isabella." He wrapped his arm around Isabella's shoulders as Isabella wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his forehead.

"Hi guys, it's so great to meet you all." The little girl said nervously. "Sorry, I'm just a little bit nervous. This is, like, my 3rd town in 3 years."

"Wow. It must be tough to be constantly moving around."

"It is. In fact, I might not even be here for long. We're only in town so my dad can look for a job. I might be leaving as early as tonight."

"Oh. Well, sorry to hear that. But while you're here, would you like to have a tour of Danville? It really is a cool place to live in."

"Sure."

"Cool. But let's take you back to my house. I want you to meet my family first." The group of children started making their way back to Phineas's house. Inside, Linda and Lawrence were in the living room, sitting on the couch. Lawrence was reading a book, while Linda was watching TV.

"Hi mom and dad!" Phineas called out as everybody stepped into the house. "There's someone here who we want you to meet."

"Hi boys." Linda and Lawrence turned their attention to the kids. "Oh, wow. That _is_ a new face. And what's your name?" She asked the new girl.

"Oh that's right. We were so excited to meet you we never learned you name." Phineas realized as he turned to the new girl. "So what _is_ your name?"

"Gabrielle."

"Wow, that's a cool name."

"Thanks. You're kinda funny." Gabrielle said as she started blushing slightly. Isabella noticed this, and was a bit worried about it.

"You know, we also have a pet platypus we'd like you to meet." Phineas told her as he held up a picture of the whole Flynn-Fletcher family, with Phineas holding Perry. "His name is Perry."

"Cool. I wish I could have a pet, but my mom's allergy to practically everything, and my dad lost one of his legs when a dog bit it."

"Yikes."

"Yeah. So where is he right now? Your pet?"

"Well, that's the thing. He always wanders off somewhre during the day. But don't worry. He always comes back. I wonder where he always runs off to."

* * *

Indeed, you do, Phineas. But right now, Perry was in uniform and about to enter his lair through a floorboard in the kitchen. The platypus jumped through it and sat down in his chair, ready for his mission briefing.

"Good morning Agent P." Said his boss, Major Monogram on the camera. "It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Our sources tell us he is planning to eliminate all videotapes throughout the Tri-State Area. If he does that, then I'll have no way of briefing you on your missions."

Perry looked down at his control central and saw a telephone there. He looked up at his boss and pointed to the phone.

"Well...I suppose I _could_ use the phone, but what absent-minded fool uses a telephone nowadays?"

"I do, sir." Carl the Intern said off-camera.

"I meant a real telephone, Carl! Not those mediocore things called "cellphones" that people use today."

"I don't even own a cellphone, sir."

"Well stop living in the stone age, Carl! Time waits for no man, and neither does technology! Anyway, Agent P, your mission, as always -- find out what Doofenshmirtz is up to, and put a stop to it."

Perry saluted his boss and left in his hovercraft, off to Doofenshmirtz's lair.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere out on the edge of the Tri-State Area, in "Commandant Edwin Spangler's Reform Military Academy for the Young, Rebellious, and even the Queer", a young reform Military School for rebellious teenagers, mostly girls, Candace Flynn was busy being punished. Over the past few days, she has received punishement after punishement for constantly trying to break out of the school, yelling at the other inmates, and even insulting Commandant Edwin Spangler himself.

She was just finishing up with her previous punishment, which was 24 hours in a solitary confinement area known as "The hole". By now she was worn down; hungry, cold, shaken, weak, and fragile in her spirit. Commandant Edwin sneared looking at her. "Time's up, rugrat. Get out. And I hope this time you won't have to come back here." He said firmly, stepping to the side to let the nearly broken girl out of the hole. Candace turned her slightly towards him, as if to say something, but refused to open her mouth, and simply walked back to her cabin and curled into a fetal position.

She reflected on what her experience in the school has been like so far, and she hated every minute of it.

_That dumb Spangler! He thinks he can just push me around like I'm one of his cronies! He thinks he can just break me. _"Well he can't!" She shouted, finally having had enough of the torment. To her, being tortured by Spangler was worse than being tortured by Phineas and Ferb's crazy summer projects, and that was saying something. "It's time I showed him that he can't keep this girl locked up!"

"Ugh, what are you going about now, Candace?" The only friend she was able to make there was a girl named Tara. She was 5'8", about Candace's weight, maybe a little lighter, 2 years older than her, and she had been at the academy for about a year now. She had a voice that sounded alot like that Tara Costa from _The Biggest Loser Season 7_, and was the only one that would even talk to Candace there, as she too had once felt the way Candace was feeling now.

"Tara, I don't know how you've been able to handle this place for so long, but I've had it! That guy thinks he can push me around like some sort of bookworm, but I'm going to prove to him that he can't!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm going to bust out of the place if it's the last thing I do!"

"You're gonna do what!?"

"What are you, deaf? I'm gonna bust out of this pla--"

"SHH! SHH, shut up! Shut up!" Tara immediately put her hand over Candace's mouth for a moment as the girl simmered down. "Do you know what happened to the last person that tried to escape this place!?"

"No."

Tara took Candace's arm and walked her over to their closet, which was basically 4 feet by 8 feet of space. It wasn't that much, but everybody made due with what they had. But not them. Because when Tara opened the closet door, it revealed the skeletal remains of what used to be another inmate. "Holy cow! What the heck is that!?" Candace shrieked upon seeing the body.

"This closet used to be the original hole before they installed that new one, and this room used to be where this girl lived. Her name was Anne. I heard from some of the other inmates that she used to live here years ago, and she was kind of a troublemaker, you know, like you." Candace raised an eyebrow. "She got sick of this place too, soshe tried to escape, thinking Commandant Edwin was never the wiser. But she was wrong. And when he caught her, he dragged her into this hole and left her in there."

"No food, no water, no light, and barely any elbow room. She was only supposed to stay in there for 2 days. But the commandant forgot all about her, and she was left in there, never to be heard from again."

"Oh my gosh, that's horrible!!"

"I know, right!?"

"He can't do that to anyone! It's illegal, and just plain wrong!"

"Do you want that to be you!?"

"No! But you're forgetting one, little detail about my life, Tara."

"And what's that!?"

"I'm the big sister of the two of the most prestigious and intelligent boys in the entire world! Last summer alone, my brothers built a rollercoaster, made a beach in their backyard, carved my head into Mount Rushmore, made their own toyline, made a time machine to go to the past & future, got a band back together, constructed a chariot race with real chariots, brought a cavemen back to life, built the world's largest bowling ball, carved their faces into a comet, switched my brain with a platypus, built a rocket and went into space, built a portal to Mars, created a growth elixer and made me 50 feet tall, made a romantic cruise for their friends, designed an indestructable bubble, they even discovered the lost city of Atlantis!"

"Jeez, I'm surprised you haven't had a nervous breakdown by now!"

"But...if there is one thing my brothers have taught me out of all of it...it is this: When life gives you lemons, you make lemondae."

"What if life gives you a bunch of beef jerky?"

Candace blinked and thought about it for a second, and then answered. "Give it to a bunch of sweaty football jocks?"

Tara also blinked and thought about it for a second. "Wow. I never would have thought of that."

* * *

So after Gabrielle was introduced to Phineas's family, they decided to take a tour around Danville. To make the trip a lot better, Phineas & Ferb built platforms that floated in midair and traveled whereever the rider wanted it to go. Everybody had a blast just talking while riding it.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Gabrielle said in amazement as she rode on one of the platforms along with Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, & Baljeet.

"I knew you'd like it." Phineas commented as they passed out of their neighborhood. "Everyone seems to like what Ferb and I do."

"And you guys do these kind of things everyday?"

"Yep. Every single day of the summer. We do it to avoid just a plain, old, boring summer vacation of just sitting under our tree--"

"And it gives us something interesting to talk about when we go back to school." Ferb added.

"Awesome! Boy, sometimes I wish I had the courage and determination to do the things that you guys do."

"Well, if you put your mind to it, there's nothing that you can't do. We prove that everyday."

Phineas & Gabrielle were talking, and Isabella was becoming a bit jealous with all the attention Gabrielle was getting from Phineas. She confided it to Ferb. "Look at that, Ferb. Phineas is giving that new girl so much attention...it's as if they'd been dating for months." Ferb didn't say anything. He just blinked. "I mean, _I'm_ Phineas's girlfriend! All of that attention should be going to me. Who does he think he is!?"

"You know, you should really give him more credit." Ferb finally said. "I mean, he chose _you_, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He did. But still, Phineas is an open spirit, he likes to "keep moving forward". How am I supposed to know if I can trust his judgement?"

"But if you don't, and you end up doing something stupid to humiliate yourself or her, Phineas may never forgive you."

"You're right. I guess I have no choice but to sit back and let the chips fall where they may. But if that girl gets too close to my Phineas, they'll both be sorry they ever met me!"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had arrived in his hovercraft at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. But when he arrived, once again, he was trapped by one of Doofenshmirtz's old fashioned traps. This time, he was caught in videotape wire. You know, that wire they find in video tapes that film is printed on when somebody tapes something on TV.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. You're just in time to witness my latest creation. But first, I know you wondering about the videotape wire. Well, allow me to explain. You see, a few days ago, there was this documentary on the history of evil villains on, and I really wanted to see it. But, it was at the same time as a doctor's appointment I had. You know, it was my annual check up, and I really didn't want to miss it. So, I set up my VCR to record the show for me so I could go."

"But, when I came back home, I discovered that not only did the VCR not record my show, but I had also accidentally used an old videotape of mine that had other evil villain documentaries on it. So now that tape was ruined! I felt horrible about it. And now, since my favorite videotape was ruined, I wil ruin all videotapes in the entire Tri-State Area!"

Doofenshmirtz walked over to one of his inventions over by an open window covered by a big, white sheet. He pulled the sheet off revealed a giant raygun. With a satelite dish, monitor, & keyboard attached to the top & side respectively. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! The Eliminator 4000...inator! You see, Perry the Platypus, with this device, I can eliminate virtually any item I choose throughout the entire Tri-State Area. All I have to do is type it in on this keyboard here, and then the satelite with begin to trace all evicence of that item in town. After it finds every single strand of whatever item I tell it to find, it will be displayed on this video monitor which is connected to the ray. Then, I all I have to do is press the "extract" button, and POOF! The ray will send out little beams to make every single one of that item disappear into thin air!"

"For example, since I'm about to destroy video tapes, I will type the word "videotapes" into the computer, and then the ray will begin to shoot out electrically charged rays that will shoot out towards every videotape in the entire Tri-State Area, and cause it into disappear into thin air, so I will never have to look at it again! My plan is completely foolproof!" Doofenshmirtz pressed a button on his device, and while Perry was expecting it to start up, instead, the ray simply began glowing, with the glow becoming a little stronger with each second. "Well, a-almost foolproof. It does take a few moments to charge to full power. That's the only fatal flaw. I c-I can never seem to just blast it right away. I-It always has to charge up for a few moments. It's rather annoying."

* * *

Meanwhile, right around this time, Candace was busy drawing up her escape plan in her room. She was being so careful, though, as to not let anybody else see her doing this. Considering nobody but Tara at the institution liked her, she didn't trust anyone else's judgement.

"OK, so there's a door near the back end of the cafeteria, and the Commandant's only on duty for the last 10 minutes of our meal break. So I could probably sneak out there, and...no, no wait. Knowing that guy, there's probably security waiting for me. Crud. OK, think Candace. Think!"

While Candace was busy doing that, Tara came into the room and saw Candace hard at work. "Still thinking of an escape plan?"

"Yeah. But everything I come up with has some sort of flaw. With my luck, this guy'll have me dragged off to the hole even before I put my plan into action."

"What plan?"

"Exactly. I've got nothing! I have no idea what I'm going to do. If I want any chance of getting out of here soon, I've got to think of something."

"OK, listen. I swore to myself that I wouldn't get mixed in with you or any crazy idea you might have, but in this case, you seem very desperate. So I'm going to help you."

"You...You're going to help me escape?"

"Yes. On one condition: If you get caught, I knew nothing about it."

"Deal." And with that, Tara stood up and left.

"OK, let's see what we've got..."

* * *

Now back with Phineas & Ferb and the whole gang. They were busy showing Gabrielle around town, and Gabrielle seemed to be enjoying the attention Phineas was giving her, though he wasn't actually intentionally trying to give her too much attention.

"And this is the Danville mall." Phineas said introducing the vvarious sights to the girl. "My sister used to come here all the time back when she lived here."

"So whatevver happened to your sister? 'Cause it sounds to me you all are much better off without her." Gabrielle inquired.

"Oh she's not that bad. She's just a little high-strong. That's all."

"Though without her here, our days are 80% quieter." Ferb said.

"Yeah. What Ferb said."

"You know, you guys are so funny. I can see why Isabella's so into you, Phineas."

"Well, we _have_ been friends for years. And come on, nobody can resist these good looks of mine."

Isabella & Gabrielle broke out into laughter. "You're hillarious!" Gabrielle said in between laughs. "And you're cute, too!"

"Uh...thanks."

Isabella stopped laughing and glared angrily at Gabrielle, though she didn't notice.

"Come on. We've still got a long way to go before this tour's over."

Next, Phineas & Ferb led Gabrielle inside the mall and showed her the various stores inside, ranging from the shoe stores to the toys stores, and afterwards, they all went to Slushee Burger to get something to eat, even with Ferb's distaste. ("Heavens no! Slushy burgers are practically a suicide attempt.")

They approached the counter to place their order. "Hey guys." Jeremy greeted them.

"Hey Jeremy. We'll take four slushy burgers."

"Coming right up. By the way, who's your new friend?"

"Oh, right. Jeremy, this is our new neighbor, Gabrielle. She just moved in this morning."

"That's right. With the whole moving truck thing that crashed into Mr. Brown's house...OK. Well, nice to meet you, Gabrielle. You're gonna love Danville."

"We've been giving her a tour of the town all day. I think she's really starting to feel at home here."

"Yeah...a little too at home." Isabella said under her breath.

"Well that's great to hear."

"How's it going with you and Stacy?"

"Pretty good. Nothing big. I mean, we've had a couple of disputes, but nothing we couldn't get by."

"Wait, I thought you were dating your sister, Candace." Gabrielle pointed out.

"Well, he was. But after she got hitch-hiked to military school, he dumped her and started going out with her best friend, Stacy." Phineas turned back to Jeremy. "By the way, whatever happened to your old guitar player that Stacy used to hit on? What was his name, Coltrane?"

"Oh, he got a record deal and left to go on a 2-year world tour with Drake Bell."

"Sad, but good for him. He was pretty cool."

"Yes. Yes he was."

"Come on, let's go grab a table while we wait for our food." Phineas said as they all walked over to open tables.

"Good idea. You're so smart." Gabrielle said, instinctively grabbing Phineas's arm and holding it tightly, making Isabella extremely angry. "And still so cute!"

"Um...thank you?"

Everyone took a seat at a table with the exception of Phineas & Isabella. "Hey, Phineas, don't you think there's something...a bit weird with that girl's behavior?"

"What do you mean, Isabella?"

"She keeps hitting on you every chance she gets even though she knows I'm your girlfriend. Doesn't that seem a bit offensive to you?"

"A little...but I'm sure she's not trying to...you know, make a move or anything. Maybe she's just trying to be really nice."

"Well, she's starting to get on my nerves."

"Isabella, don't jump to conclusions just yet. It is her first day in a new city, after all."

"I'm just saying, she better watch her back. If she keeps flirting with you like that, I'm gonna have to get involved."

"Isabella, you have a lot of trust issues you need to resolve. Calm down."

"Trust issues!? You're saying _I_ have trust issues!? Phineas, you're like, the one boy I'd ever trust about anything. It's her that I'm not comfortable with."

"Give it some time. Soon she's going to start to grow on you."

"I hope so."

"Come on. Just relax and go with it. But if you ask me, I'd rather have a jealous Fireside Girl by my side than a hot-headed ego maniac like Candace."

"Well that's true. I wonder how she's doing. I hope they haven't had to put her on any medications."

* * *

On the contrary, Candace was just fine. In fact, at this very moment, she was eating lunch with the rest of her comrades in the school cafeteria. They were all being watched closely by Commandant Spangler, who was standing by the front door. People would pass by him and he would just give them an angry glare, which scared them back to their tables.

Candace, however, was busy trying to form an escape plan without him noticing. But, the security system that was installed into the school made it all seem too hopesless. There were about 50 rooms in the entire building, most of them were just to hold inmates, while the others were either bathrooms, Spangler's office, "The Hole", or the cafeteria, where everyone was right now.

Tara soon joined Candace at her table, with her tray of slop, which was supposed to be a meatloaf, though it was so poorly cooked most people would mistake it for feces. Thank god it didn't taste like that.

"Hey Candace. Still trying to think of an escape plan?"

"Yeah, but there are cameras all over the place. And there are guards plastered all over the hallways at night. I just don't see any way I can get out of this joint."

"Well then, I think I might be able to help."

Candace gasped happily. "You mean you have an escape route for me!?"

"No, but, I do have the next best thing: Someone that can help."

"Really? Who?"

"I can't say here. Too many witnesses. But...meet me at the Broom Closet in a half hour. Your questions will be answered."

"And soon I'll be back at home where I belong, where I'll only have to focus on my one and only true mission in life: busting my brothers!"

Tara looked at Candace and shook her head. "Your _only_ true mission in life? You're pathetic, Candace."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the evil scientist's creation was about to fire. "Yes! The time is here, Perry the Platypus! In just seconds, all videotapes in the Tri-State are about to be eliminated!" The evil scientist started laughing out loud, and even started rocking his arms back and forth in the air. But by doing so, he also accidentally hit a button on his device, a button that read "Random Selection".

Dr. D looked at what had just happened, and gasped in horror. "Oh no! I accidentally hit the Random Selection button!"

By the time he realized his mistake, though, it was too late. The laser had already fired, and it was spreading across the Tri-State Area with no way of stopping. He looked at the monitor, which read "Thriller" and had a picture of the 25th anniversary edition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" album. "Oh no, it's Michael Jackson's Thriller album. And the 25th anniversary edition, too! Aww, I was going to give that to Charlene for her birthday next month! Oh well. He's dead anyway. What does it matter?"

Oh but it mattered. Especially to Commandant Spangler.

"Hey, Rob, have you been in my office today?" Edwin asked one of his fellow workers.

"Uh, yes. I was in your office earlier today. You asked me to rearrage your rock collection, remember? Why?"

"No, no, it's just -- it's just that I can't find my Michael Jackson Thriller album, and I thought maybe you saw it."

"Which one? The original or the 25th anniversary one?"

"25th anniversary."

"Oh. That's a shame."

Back with Doofenshmirtz...

"Oh that's just great. Now I gotta wait for this thing to charge up again. Well, I might as well make the most out of my time, right, Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz started walking towards his kitchen. "I'll be right back. I'm going to whip myself up some lunch."

As soon as the evil scientist was surely out of sight, Perry seized the opportunity to escape his trap. The platypus lifted up one of his legs, where a sharp, long knife popped out and started cutting the wire that had Perry tied up so tightly. It was taking a while for it to cut because Perry was tied up so well. But, by the time Dr. Doofenshmirtz came back into the room with a tray of food, the rope was weak enough for Perry to bust out of.

"Perry the Platypus!? You escaped!" He exclaimed, still holding the tray. "Well, you're not going to get awa--"

But before he had a chance to even retaliate, Perry was one step ahead of him once again and kicked him hard in his stomach, causing everything on the tray to fall off and scatter everywhere. His sandwich splatted on the floor, his bowl of soup crashed into the wall, leaving a horrid stain, and his fruit juice...well...

* * *

After their little trip, Phineas & the rest of the gang decided to do something else together. They all voted, and they decided to go see a movie. There were three movies playing that everybody wanted to see: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, The Blindside, and Race to Witch Mountain. They decided that Gabrielle should be the one to pick the movie because it was her first day in town.

The movie she chose was Alvin & The Chipmunks, which everybody agreed on. So they bought the tickets and went inside. They grabbed their seats and bought plenty of snacks and drinks.

"I love Alvin & The Chipmunks." Gabrielle said as they all took their seats, her sitting next to Phineas. "It's my favorite show!"

"Yeah, I like it too!" Phineas replied, as Gabrielle, without Phineas noticing it, put her arm around his shoulder and snuggling on his body. Isabella saw this, sitting just two seats down, and crunched the popcorn in her hand with blind fury.

The movie was very exciting for the majority of it (I won't post spoilers because by the time I post this chapter, the movie will not have come out yet and I don't have any plans to go see it for myself), but near the ending of it, when there was about 40 to 45 minutes left, Phineas had fallen asleep. He was snoring rather loudly in his chair and he was drooling, with his arms crossed, and a neutral expression on his face. So Gabrielle took the opportunity to flirt with him yet again.

She put both of her arms around one of his arms, closed her eyes, sighed dreamily, and snuggled up to his face, which made Isabella even angrier. This time, she threw her popcorn back onto the floor to get her frustration out. Though she then picked it up to avoid getting in any trouble.

"Look at her!" She said angrily to herself. "Snuggling up to _my_Phineas! And while he's asleep, too! Oh, if anyone's going to be touching any part of Phineas's body in his sleep, it's me!"

Once the movie ended, and everybody had left, including the kids, only Phineas, Gabrielle, and Isabella were left. Isabella got out of her chair and walked over to Phineas, and started nudging him lightly. He was still snoring loudly and drooling, with the same expression on his face, and his arms still crossed. "Phineas, wake up. It's time to go. The movie's over."

"Wh-what's that?" He stirred awake, and looked at Isabella. "Oh, did I fall asleep?"

"Yes. Yes you did."

"Sorry. And I was really looking forward to watching the movie. Oh well, how did you enjoy it, Gabri--AHH!" He screamed and immediately snatched his arm away from her grasp. Her head plopped onto the arm rest, but she didn't awaken. "What was she doing!?"

"Snuggling up to my man!" Isabella shouted, clutching her fists tightly into a ball. "I was afraid this would happen again."

"So what do you think we should do about it?" He asked as he stood up and fixed himself.

"I think we need to have a little talk to her about it."

"Isabella! How could you say that!?"

"No...really, a talk."

"Oh. Right."

* * *

Meanwhile, back with Candace at the military school, she met up with Tara at the Broom Closet. Tara knocked on it three times and waited for a response.

"What's the password?" Somebody asked from behind the door.

"Password." Tara simply said, and then waited for them to open the door, which they did a couple of moments later. The two girls stepped into the dark broom closet, where another girl turned on a light and revealed yet another girl sitting at a desk. This girl was about 5'4", a bit heavier then Candace, and was wearing a dark robe and tophat to conceal her identity.

"Greetings, Tara. It's nice to see you again."

"Yeah, good to see you too, Tracey."

"Oh come on!" The girl took her top hat off and revealed her face. "I thought we agreed that we would keep my identity a secret."

"I did. But it ain't hard to figure you out because you're the only one here that has a voice that sounds like a jackhammer malfunctioning."

She scoffed. "Whatever. So, is this the girl you told me about?"

"Yes."

"So _you're_ Candace Flynn?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Candace replied.

"Oh,wow. Now I see why you were so desperate for this."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you. There's talk around the school, and everybody hates you. Everybody's heard that you're the brothers of Phineas & Ferb, and how you treat them so poorly & resent them. Everybody despises you, and wants you gone just as much as you do. So here." The girl took out several pieces of paper, and handed them to Candace. The papers included a revised and more recent map of the school and all of its plumbing systems, exits, and tunnels, directions on how to pull off the perfect escape, and in case you need it, an old picture of Commandant Edwin Spangler getting an atomic wedge."

"Wow, this is awesome!" Candace exclaimed happily.

"Oh, and take these, too. You'll need them." Tracey handed Candace a pick-ax, hammers, wire-cutters, and a protective suit with a helmet.

"What's the suit for?"

"You'll find out. Just make sure you bring it with you."

* * *

From there, we move on to Doofenshmirtz, who had just accidentally spilled fruit juice onto his machine, so now it wasn't going to work properly. "Oh, well that's just great. Now my machine is probably going to malfunction, and stuff."

And indeed it did. It started to malfunction by charging up a blast too quickly and blasting out. Dr. D checked the monitor and saw that the device was about to eliminate all of the chairs throughout the Tri-State Area. "Oh boy." Doofenshmirtz said, slapping himself mentally at what was about to happen. "Now I'm going to lose my favorite chair!"

The laser fired itself and in just seconds, every single chair in the Tri-State Area disappeared, which was horrible timing for Phineas & his friends, considering they had just finished watching their movies and now wanted to get something else to eat before going home.

"Oh I knew something like this was going to happen. Luckily, I anticipated for this." Dr. D once again walked over to his device. "This is why I installed a "reset" button. Once pressed, everything that my Eliminator eliminated will reappear as if nothing had ever happened. Here. Watch."

Doofenshmirtz pressed the button that read "Reset", and instantaneously, all of the chairs that had disappeared reappeared exactly where they were when they first disappeared. By this time, Perry had already taken his leave.

Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, & Gabrielle stared at their table in confusion, having just witnessed their chairs disappear & reappear almost instantly. "Well that was unexpected." Phineas said as the four children took a seat.

"So...what did you guys want to talk to me about?" Gabrielle asked innocently, though Isabella didn't buy it.

"Um, look, Gabrielle, this is really hard for me to say..." Phineas twiddled his thumbs around, not exactly sure what to say. "Look, you're a really sweet girl, and you seem like you're going to have a lot of friends. But...you do know that I'm dating Isabella, right?"

"Well...sure I do. But what does that have to do with anything?" Truth was, Gabrielle had no idea what they were talking about. And you'll understand why in just a few moments.

"Well...you see, Isabella and I thought that...you know, you were trying to hit on me. You were giving me lots of compliments, holding my hand...heck, you were even cuddling me when I was asleep in the movies."

"You're so cute when you snore." Gabrielle giggled, which annoyed them even more. "They sound just so ravishing. And even though they were very loud, I just couldn't cover my ears!" Phineas started blushing, embarrassed.

"You're still not getting this, are you?" Isabella inquired. "We're trying to tell you something!"

"So just come out with it!"

"Stop flirting with my boyfriend!" She finally shouted.

"What!? Wait, you actually think I was trying to make a move on him!?"

"Yes! Because you were! You kept calling him cute, you kept laughing while you were with him, and you snuggled up to him while he was sleeping! Yeah, I think that's a pretty clear indication that you like him!"

"What? No! Well, I mean, I do like you, but I don't _like you_ like you."

"Y-You don't?"

"No. Look, since my family's always moving around, my mom always tells me to be nice when I'm trying to make new friends, but I guess I was being too nice, huh?"

"Just a little."

"Listen, Phineas, you're a very sweet boy. And cute, too." Isabella rolled your eyes. "But the truth is...I would be attracted to you in any other case, but your voice just turns me off."

Isabella and Phineas exchanged looks at each other before looking at Gabrielle again. "What!?" Isabella cried.

"What's wrong with the sound of my voice?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but, to me, your voice makes you sound like someone who's going to grow up to become a businessman in the future. And in my opinion, businessmen are _way_ too uptight these days."

"You think I'm gonna grow up to be a stuffy, uptight businessmen who doesn't care about fun or girls or any of that stuff?" Phineas asked, putting his hands on his hips in disapproval.

"Well, you certainly have the 'hands on your hips' part down. Only uptight people do that."

"I am not uptight!"

"Girl, you have no idea who you're dealing with." Isabella and Phineas both stood up and walked over to her, surrounding her. "This is Phineas Flynn. The last thing on his mind would be to become a businessman."

"Although that would be a good idea to do for a day. Jot that down, Ferb!"

"Phineas is all about fun! He's built rockets, portals to different plants, a time machine, even a rollercoaster! This kid is the definition of fun!" She wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"Aw, thanks Isabella--"

"And if you're offended of him just because of the sound of his voice, then you don't deserve to be his friend! Only someone true to him would understand and adore his passion, his charisma, his enthusiasm...and that peanut-shaped birthmark he has on his butt." Suddenly, everybody's facial expressions fell, including Phineas, excluding Isabella.

"Peanut-shaped birthmark on my--wait a second, how did you know about that! Nobody knows except for my family!"

"Remember that slumber party we had a couple nights ago and that soundproof shield you put up ripped your clothes off?"

"Yeah..." He didn't like where this was going.

"I took pictures of it." Isabella pulled out her cellphone, and showed Phineas and Gabrielle. She was right. She had taken about a dozen and a half pictures of Phineas while he was naked, and there was a peanut-shaped birthmark on his right butt cheek. Some of the pictures were of his full body as he was walking towards the house, while others were from his shoulder blades down to his knees, and a couple were of just his naked butt. Phineas started blushing madly again of embarrassment. "Seriously, though, there's nothing to be ashamed of, Phineas. You'ver very attractive, and you should embrace it!"

Isabella then spun him around so his back was facing Gabrielle, and turned to the other girl. "And you! How could anyone not be attracted to this!?" Instictively, she turned to face him, and started patting his left butt cheek several times, and at the end, even squeezed it. "This is what we call 'having junk in your trunk'!"

Phineas's jaw dropped as he turned himself around, and so did their other friends, Ferb, Baljeet, and Buford. "Isabella...did-did you...did you just call me fat!?"

"Look, I'm really sorry if I upset you guys. I was just trying to make new friends." Gabrielle's cellphone suddenly went off. She answered it. "Hello? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. OK." She hung up her phone. "That was my dad. Apparently, the city's threatening to exile him to another country unless we pack up our stuff and leave. Sorry. It was nice meeting you guys."

"Nice meeting you too, Gabrielle. Take care."

"Goodbye."

"See you!"

"Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

Everyone said their goodbyes to Gabrielle as she walked out of the theater, not looking back on the adventure that she had in Danville. "Boy, it's too bad she had to go. She could've been a really good friend to us."

"Y-Yeah. A reallly good friend to us." Isabella's voice was trailing because she was not focusing on the present subject. Her eyes were starting to drift down Phineas's backside towards his rear, and Phineas was too embarassed to have to deal with it again.

"OK, seriously, we're going to have to have a talk about this later. I can't put up with this every single day of my life! Come on, let's all go home." As they all started heading out, Phineas heard a sound and he looked down and saw his pet platypus there. "Oh there you are, Perry. Where've you been?"

* * *

About an hour later, at around 6:00, back at the Military School, nearly everyone headed out towards the cafeteria for their dinner break. Yes, I know. Surprising. Hey, just because the guy running it is a psychotic mastermind doesn't mean he's cruel, too. He gives his students their 3 square meals and 8 hours of sleep. But when the sun comes out, then you better _watch_ out. Anyway, as everyone headed out for dinner, Candace stayed behind and began to put her plan into action. Outside, it was just starting to rain. The weather called for a thunderstorm that night.

She first started by disabling all of the security cameras in her room so they couldn't capture anything. It took her roughly 2 minutes to do it with the wire-cutters. After that, she took down a poster that was in her room that was advertising "The Beatles", and started using her pick-ax to carve a hole into the wall, a hole that would eventually turn into a tunnel that would lead to her escape.

Meanwhile, back in the cafeteria, Spangler was enjoying his dinner when one of his workers came up to him with a list of the roster of the many inmates staying at the school. "Sir, we have just concluded taking roll call for our students, and we are missing one."

"Really? Who?"

"Candace Flynn. She never showed up for dinner tonight."

"She didnt? Well...was she in her room?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Well go check!" The worker, along with three others and Commandant Spangler immediately raced to Candace's room, where they immediately found nothing out of the ordinary. But once they did some searching around, they immediately found some clues.

"Sir, this security camera has been tampered with." Such as the camera being destroyed.

"Flynn! When I get my hands on her..."

"Excuse me, sir? You might want to check this out." Another one of his employeers said standing by the poster of The Beatles. Commandant Spangler walked over as the employeer took down the poster, revealing the giant hole in the wall. The two of them looked deeply into the hole, seeing absolutely nothing but darkness in their path.

But as for Candace, she had already dug herself a tunnel big enough through the wall to reach the sewage pipelines. She climbed onto one of them, pulled out a rock she brought with her, and stared up at the sole window in the room. Outside, it was pouring and there was lightning. Every few seconds there was one loud crash of lightning. That was Candace's cue. Every crash of lightning, she would drive that rock down hard onto the pipeline in an attempt to break it open.

It took a total of four crashes of the rock for the pipeline to break open, and after she was sprayed in the face with very dirty water, she jumped into the pipeline and started crawling; crawling her way to freedom.

The sewage pipe was filled with so much disgusting water that Candace threw up about 8 times throughout her crawl. 500 yards of pipeline; 500 yards of dirty urinal water; 500 years of abuse and hatred, and finally, Candace was able to crawl out to freedom. She saw the light at the end of the tunnel, which, in this situation was just a bunch of leaves in her path.

It was still raining outside so when she did get to the end of the tunnel, so fell into a big pond of even dirtier water. But by this point, she didn't care. She was just happy to finally be on the outside. She let the rain pour down on her, clensing herself of the filth she just crawled through. She took off her military uniform and sported her usual red blouse & white skirt.

"Free at last!!" She shouted into the open skies, to nobody in particular. She was just happy to be free again. Of course, those dreams were about to be dashed. What she didn't realize was that the tunnel she had taken did not necessarily take her outside the gates of the school...just outside the school. So technically, she was still bound by Spangler.

"THERE SHE IS!!" Commandant Spangler shouted, running up to her and grabbed her from behind.

"No! No, please! I can't go back!"

"Thought you could sneak away, did you? Thought I'd never know? Well guess what? I do know!"

"Please! I can't take it anymore! I can't take this!! Please! Please!"

"You know, I'm glad you're gonna be here a long time, because I have plenty in store for you! I'm gonna fix you up real good, Flynn! Next stop! The hole!!"

"The hole!?"

"That's right! For 2 days!"

"NO!! NO!!!" He dragged her back around to the school, to throw her into solitary confinement. "Please, I have to get home to bust my brothers! Please!"

"Shut up! Or do you want me to make it 3 days!?"

"What!? YOU CAN'T!?"

"Fine, 3 days!"

"No!"

"4 days!"

"Stop it!" Candace was crying now.

"5 days!"

"YOU SICK LITTLE--"

"That's it! You're going in The Hole for a week! And, just to teach you a lesson, I'm cutting you down to 1 meal and 1 beverage a day! How do you like them apples, Flynn!?!?"

* * *

**During the Credits**

Back at his lair, Dr. Doofenshmirtz just stared at his practically destroyed invention. He had spilled juice on it which was what caused it to malfunction in the first place.

"Oh boy, what a rough day." The doctor said to himself, walking into his kitchen and opening his fridge. He took out a pitcher of red fruit juice and threw it onto the ground. The pitcher broke on impact. "Curse you, Koolaid Fruit Juice!" He crossed his arms and stared at the big puddle the juice left on the ground. Then he sighed and closed his fridge. "Now, wait, I shouldn't have done that! Now I have to buy more juice, and I don't get my next alamony check until next week!"

He went back into his main room and paced around for a moment. "Wait, I know." He snapped his fingers and cleared his throat. "Hey! Koolaid!" He shouted into the air, waiting for a response. He waited for about 2 minutes before the Koolaid Mascot came up to his floor. Out of breath from running up all those stairs, he didn't break through the wall like he normally does, and simply opened the door instead. He was carrying a pitcher of Koolaid Fruit Juice.

"Oh yeah!" He finally got the breath to say his catchprase, handing Doofenshmirtz his pitcher.

"What took you so long!?" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, angrily, but satisfied, taking the pitcher out of his hands. "And why didn't you break down my wall like you always do to everyone else?"

"Dude, do you know what floor you're on? There were a lot of stairs I had to climb!"

"Why didn't you just take the elevator!?"

"You have an elevator?"

"Ugh." Dr. D put the pitcher down and slapped his face in disgust. "Curse you, modern technology.

**End of Episode 6!**

**Next Time: Phineas & Ferb start their own news channel. Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to create an eternal solar eclipse.**

**Expected Update: ??? For this one, I really have no idea when I'll be able to get it up.**


	8. 7a: Kids Action News!

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 7a: Kids Action News!**

**Episode Summary: Phineas & Ferb start their own news channel that children can understand, apart from the adult news that children don't always get. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, tired of getting sunburned all the time, attempts to create an eternal solar eclipse.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!**

* * *

**_It was a brand new day in Danville. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were already awake, and watching TV on Phineas's living room couch. However, they could not find anything interesting to watch, so they simply settled for the news. Phineas & Isabella, not surprisingly, were sitting next to each other and holding hands.

"And in other news this morning, a young pregnant mother collapsed at a local cafe and was left there to die when two off-duty paramedics refused to give her any assistants because they claimed they were "on their break". They are currently under investigation."

"Jeez, can you believe the news they play these days?" Phineas asked his stepbrother & girlfriend. "It's nothing but deaths and betrayal and that healthcare debate."

"I know, it's sick. Kids are too young to have to listen to all of this garbage, and yet their parents are saying that they have to start learning about the real world." Isabella added. "Well if you ask me, I wouldn't want to watch any of this with all the bad stuff that's happening in the world."

"Me neither."

"And since there's also nothing else on at this hour, kids are forced to watch this dirty trash."

"Perhaps the problem is that the topics that today's news channels are covering only apply to teenagers and adults, not to children." Ferb said.

"Yeah, but what can we do?"

"Hmm..." Phineas started pondering on that thought for a moment. "Wait a sec!" He snapped his fingers, having gotten an idea. "I have an idea!" Told you. "What if we start our own news channel? The first ever kid friendly news channel, with stories that appeal to children."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Isabella shouted in agreement.

"Yeah, and we'll get all the kids in the neighborhood to help out. Buford will cover sports, Baljeet can cover things involving academics or politics...uh, we can figure out what everybody else can be later. And you and I can be co-hosts, Isabella."

"What about Ferb? You do everything with him."

"Yes, but being a co-host requires lots of speaking, and you know Ferb. He's more of a man of action than a man of words. Right Ferb?" Ferb gave him a thumbs up. "So what do you say, Isabella? You wanna be my co-host?"

"Sure. Why not!"

"Perfect!" The boy reached out and gave Isabella a big hug, which she graciously returned. "Come on! We're burning preciously daylight here. Let's round up our troops and get cracking!" At that moment, Phineas's stomach started growling. "But...let's have some breakfast first. I'm starved!"

* * *

And so they gathered their friends to the front yard and started going over the game plan for that day.

"Alright, guys, we've got a big day ahead of us! Today, we are going to start our very own kid-friendly news channel." Phineas explained to his friends. "Buford, you've got sports. Baljeet, you can cover politics, the Fireside Girls can have their own cooking segment, since you guys still need to earn your cooking patches. Am I right?"

"Actually, we earned those when we helped you with that platypus restaurant you opened up last year." Adyson corrected him.

"But...we do need our "TV actress" patches." Holly interveined.

"That works too. OK, where was I? Oh yeah. Isabella and I will be co-hosts, and Ferb's gonna work the camera."

"That sounds like fun." Adyson said.

"Yeah! I wanna be a news reporter!" Milly shouted.

"Don't worry. You'll all get to be news reporters. But we better get started right away if we expect to get our station up and running before noon. So, Fireside Girl Troop 46231, you build the equipment, Ferb, and I will go see if we can hook up our signal on the Tri-State Area's radio signal tower downtown. Buford and Baljeet, you two wonder where Perry is."

Buford and Baljeet actually obeyed this command, and started thinking about their platypus friend. Baljeet, however, was the only one taking it seriously. Buford was just thinking about beating him into a pulp. "I truly am wondering where Perry goes everyday."

"And I'm wondering how I'm gonna rip your underwear off today."

Perry, in the meantime, was heading towards his lair. He went behind the house, and tapped on the wall. It opened up, and Perry slid through a tube that led right to his chair so he could receive his mission.

* * *

"Good morning, Agent P." His boss, Major Monogram. "Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. Our sources tell us he's planning to make a solar eclipse that lasts forever. That can't be good. I mean, without the sun, all of the crops would die out, summer vacation would be cancelled, and my wife would lose her golden skin color." Perry raised an eyebrow. "Seriously! She tans everyday to get her skin looking perfect. It really looks good. I'm just worried about her health, though. Anyway, Agent P, you know what to do."

Perry saluted Major Monogram and then left in his hoverjet. He flew all the way to the lair of his evil nemesis.

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

He flew up to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building and broke through one of his windows. The glass shattered all over the place as a very sunburnt Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked at his nemesis, having just completed his newest -inator.

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is incredible. And -- OK, seriously, would it _kill_ you to use a door for once!?" Doofenshmirtz walked over to his now shattered window, letting out a yelp of pain with every step. His skin was very red, burnt practically to its core. "I mean, seriously. It's not much to ask! I spend a fortune on these windows every week! I barely have enough alamony to go around. And between you and me..." He leaned in close to Perry. "I get a _lot_ of alamony." He whispered.

Then he took out an old grappling hook and spun it around Perry, tying him up. "Aha, I got you, Perry the Platypus! And now, for my evil scheme of the day!" He started walking back to his invention, still in a lot of pain. "Over the past few days, it has occured to me that I...have very fragile skin. See, the past several days, every time I would step outside, my skin would get terribly burned by the sun's strong rays. Seriously, everywhere I go, it would happen!"

"I go to pick up my labcoat; sunburn! I'm driving on my scooter; sunburn! I attend a L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N meeting; sunburn! The beach...strangely enough, nothing. But, I couldn't relax because I was waiting for it to happen! Well, that...and the fact that I had this super strong sunblock with me probably contributed to that. But...I can't keep making this sunblock every single day of my life! My alamony check doesn't come for another 3 days. So instead, I've decided to make this!"

He walked over to his machine, which was just a big laser beam pointed out of his sunroof. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! The instrument of summer vacation's destruction! With this new device, which I so cleverly call...The Eclipse-inator, I will block out the sun creating a solar eclipse! But what is different about this eclipse is that it will last forever, and never again will I have to worry about getting a terrible sunburn!"

"You see, when I activate this machine, it will fire a laser into space. The laser acts as both a heat-seeking missile and a magnet. But first as a heat-seeking missile, it will blast into the nearest asteroid that might be passing by in space, and then as a magnet, it will pull the asteroid towards the sun andput it in front of it, thus creating the solar eclipse. Now, I realized that there might be asteroids that are just extremely small and that putting it in front of the sun won't make a difference. Luckily, I've accounted for this, and in the event the asteroid it pulls is too small to fit in front of the sun, there is another laser installed in this machine that will detach from the very top and blast the asteroid, enlarging it, so it will block off the sun more easily!"

He pressed a button on his contraption, and it shot a laser out of his window that went right up into the sky. It shot directly into space and in a minute tops, it grabbed a passing asteroid that is more commonly known as hfalley's Comet. The laser slowly started pulling the asteroid in the direction of the sun.

"It's working! My plan is working!" Doofenshmirtz shouted out. "In just a few moments, the entire world will be consumed by my eternal solar eclipse! And there is nothing you can do about it, Perry the Platypus! Now watch!"

Both Doofenshmirtz and Perry watched the screen that was built into his machine, watching as the asteroid _slowly_ made its way towards the sun. No seriously, it was slow as molasis. Just watching it was literally putting Perry and Doofenshmirtz to sleep. "Well...this could take a while. I forgot stuff in space travels in light years."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb were finished setting up their news station & their antenna, and were just about to begin broadcasting their news channel all across the Tri-State Area.

"Alright, troops. I think we're all set." Phineas said, looking around at everything they had done. "We've got our station areas set up, the antenna is ready to go, and the cameras are up and running." He looked down at his watch. "And what do you know? We've still got a few minutes before our debut. Come on!"

They all got to their positions. Phineas and Isabella took to the main desk in front of the camera, Ferb went behind the camera, the Fireside Girls went off to the side where they had a lot of pots, pans, food items, and even an oven & microwave ready, and Buford & Baljeet took cameras & microphones with them as they headed out into Danville to see what they could cover.

"And we're live in 5...4...3...2..." Ferb counted them down towards their debut. He gave them the signal, and they were off.

"Welcome to Kids Action News!" Phineas said boldly into the camera, with a smile. "The only news network that's kid friendly and easy to understand. I'm Phineas Flynn, and this is my lovely co-host, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro."

"Thanks, Phineas. Our top story today, the Danville Elementary school budget vote is tonight. Kids, get your parents to vote yes so the school can keep its academic and sports programs, like the debate team, the newspaper club, the choir, etc. Last year, the school budget didn't pass, which was why there were really long school hours, a lack of extra-ciricular activites, poorly cooked school lunches, and why half the time, the power was out."

"Worst 9 months of my life." Phineas jumped in, reminising on the horrible school year he had last year.

"I know, right? Absolutely horrifying." Phineas and Isabella were getting into that topic so much that they both forgot they were still on the air. "Oh wait, we're still on. Anyway, we'll have complete coverage of the budget vote later today. In other news..."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere deep into the Tri-State Area, Channel 5 Action News was getting ready for its 3:00 broadcast, which wasn't for another 3 hours (obviously). Two of the workers, Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons, along with their boss, were in the conference room, discussing the news topics they were going to display during the broadcast that day.

Suddenly, though, the big monitor that was on the wall behind them started flashing a red dot near the Danville broadcasting tower. "What the heck is that?" Their boss asked.

"I don't know. Let's find out." Tom went up to the keyboard that was conviniently located there below the monitor and started punching in some keys. "It seems that there's another active news network that recently opened up."

"News network? But that's impossible. We would've been alerted of this when it happened."

"It must've just happened because we always get the news of competition first."

"This can mean only one thing."

"What's that, Tom?" Diane asked.

Tom pressed another button on his keyboard, and almost instantaneously, the sceen switched over to a picture of Phineas & Ferb's live broadcast of their new Kids Action News show. "I knew it. Those two boys, Phineas & Ferb opened up their own news station. God only knows how bad this can get."

"Now Mr. Tucker, you don't know that." His boss said sternly. Apparently, he didn't have enough respect for Tom to address him by his first name. "Maybe they're just trying to have a little fun."

"Sir, the news isn't supposed to be for fun. It's supposed to be about facts."

"Tom, the last time you stuck to that policy, you got fired."

They all stood there in silence for a moment, contemplating on a course of action to take next. "So, what do we do now?" Diane asked. "Should we go stop them?"

"I'm not sure. They're really good kids, so I don't see the harm in letting them have a news station."

"Sir, are you serious? They're going to ruin the good name that is news!"

"Good name? Tom, the news has been playing nothing but tragedies and horrible stories lately, Lou Dobbs quit CNN, and Nancy Grace is still on the air! How is _that_ a good name for news!?"

Tom contemplated that. "Point taken."

"Look, why don't we wait here and watch their show. You know, see what they do. If they say anything we all agree that a newscaster wouldn't say, then we'll go down there and talk to them. OK?" Diane and Tom both agreed to them, the latter being forced to agree by the former.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, Doofenshmirtz and Perry were growing quite sick of waiting for his plan to work. It was taking forever for his machine to do its job.

"OK, seriously. This is taking way too long." Doofenshmirtz said outloud. "I mean, in the past 60 minutes, Halley's Comet has moved..." He typed some stuff into his computer, and a big number came up. "500 feet. That's pathetic, if you ask me. Luckily, I can fix that." He moved to a lever located to the right of the keyboard. "You see, I did account for this, and I installed this lever, which, when pushed up, will increase the power of the laser, pulling the asteroid towards the sun even faster, so I'll get my solar eclipse even faster!"

While Doofenshmirtz was explaining his plan to Perry, Perry was busy trying to break himself out of Doofenshmirtz's trap. He used every ounce of strength he had to move his legs as he started running up the wall. He jumped off abotu halfway up to the ceiling, where the end of the grappling hook caught on one of the emergency sprinklers on the ceiling (you know, the ones that offices have in the event of a fire). He started spinning around, unravaling the hook until he was free.

But because the evil scientist was too busy speeding up his eclipsing process, he did not notice the platypus go free. So, Perry got the chacne to sneak up on him and attack him from behind. And by attack, I mean kick him right to the ground by his machine. "Perry the Platypus, how did you escape!?" The doctor quickly questioned before noticing the grappling line hanging from the ceiling. "Oh, I see. That was very clever, Perry the Platypus. Really, it was. I forgot I had those installed."

And thus, their daily duel began, and as always, they started out equally matched before Perry gained the upper hand, and started landing some hits on Doofenshmirtz. Not hard hits, but hard enough to knock him into his machine and cause a malfunction. When he was knocked into his machine, he hit the lever that sped up the eclipsing process, and it broke off. Because of this, the laser started moving the comet so fast that even it couldn't keep up with the comet.

As a result, the comet was practically slingshot out of the laser's grip and shot down towards Earth, more specifically, towards the Tri-State Area, at a much faster pace than Doofenshmirtz ever had in mind. "Oh no!" He shouted. "The comet got slingshot out of the laser's grip! Now it's moving way too fast and it's going to crash right into the Tri-State Area!"

Perry couldn't help but look on in disbelief, mainly because he was surprised that Doofenshmirtz was surprised. "What? Look, all I was trying to do was create a solar eclipse. I didn't want to kill everybody! I'm evil, Perry the Platypus. Not malicious! Golly, I'm so misunderstood." The platypus went up to the doctor and patted his leg in comfort.

* * *

Back in Danville, the gang was busy with their news broadcast. Right now, they were on to politics.

"And our beloved Mayor, Roger Doofenshmirtz, has announced that he might not be running for office in 2010. His reasons are currently unknown. He is scheduled for a news conference later today where he will unveil whether or not he will run for re-election." Baljeet explained while they were live near the City Hall. "I am Baljeet Patel, live at City Hall, kids action news."

"Thank you, Baljeet." The scene cut back to the main desk with Phineas. "Our state of economy today has brought down the closure of many great restaurants, such as "Tavern on the Green", who has announced they'll be closing their doors tonight at midnight. As a result, many of their great foods are lost to the public forever. But that doesn't mean you have to give up taste,as our Fireside Girls troop 46231 will explain. Take it away, ladies."

Ferb turned the camera over to the left, where the Fireside Girls, along with Isabella, were wearing aprons, and had a lot of food out, ready to cook.

"Thank you, Phineas. Today, we'll be showing you how to make a Chinese Steamed Halibut. For this recipe, you're going to need 2 halibut fillets, salt, ginger, sliced into thin strips, 2 tablespoons of rice wine, 1 teaspoon sesame oil, 2 teaspoons of soy sauce, 1 stalk of spring onions, cut into thin strips, and 1 red chili pepper, cut into thin strips."

Isabella, Katie, Adyson, and Holly walked over to the counter where the food was located, along with all the utensils they needed. "First," Holly began. "Rub the halibut fillets with salt and place them on a plate." Which Holly then proceeded to do.

"Next," Katie continued. "Top the halibut with sliced ginger strips." Which Katie then did.

"Then," Adyson added on. "Pour the rice wine, sesame oil, soy sauce over the halibut and let it steam for 10 minutes." Adyson proceeded to do so. But instead of waiting the 10 minutes like the recipe called for, they took out another steamed halibut that had been pre-made.

"After 10 minutes," Isabella finished. "place the spring onions and chili peppers over the halibut and let it steam for another minute." This time, they waited out the 60 seconds. "And ta-da!" They held up their finished masterpiece. "You've got yourself a steamed halibut!"

* * *

At this point, after watching their broadcast for an hour, Tom reached his boiling point. "OK, that's it!" He stood up from his chair and walked out the door.

"Tom, where are you going?" Diane asked him, standing up as well.

"I'm putting a stop to their news broadcast! I can deal with the news reporters covering sports and politics, but when they start their own cooking segment, all bets are off!" He stormed out of the building and rushed to his car, and immediately drove off. Diane and their boss were not too far behind them.

They drove all the way to the Flynn-Fletcher front yard, where they were conducting their news broadcast. Unfortunately for them, they were still live on the air when they arrived, so Tom ended up barging on their broadcast.

"And in other news today..."

"Stop the broadcast! Stop the broadcast!!" Tom yelled loudly as he ran into the shot.

"Um, excuse me, sir, but we are in the middle of a broadcast here-"

"Shut up." Tom said flatly to Ferb, who was taken aback by this. "Now, kid, I don't really know who you are, but I want you to shut down this station right away!"

"But why? We're not doing anything wrong."

"Yes you are! You are besmirching the name of the news industry."

"Besmirching?"

"Nobody wants to watch a kiddie news show run by a bunch of immature snot-nosed brats!"

"Hey! Nobody makes fun of my Phineas!" Isabella immediately jumped to Phineas's defense, like she always does when he's in danger or insulted. "Now get out of here, man! We're trying to make a kid friendly news show."

"Kid friendly? News isn't supposed to be for kids! It's supposed to be for adults! I mean, what could possibly go on in the world that a news caster could report that applies to both children and adults!?"

And as if on cue, the sky suddenly began turning red, for some unknown reason. But they looked up, and they saw Halley's Comet coming down at unbelievable speed. Ferb turned the camera to point to the sky.

"What is that?" Phineas immediately questioned.

"If I'm looking at this correctly, that's a giant meteor heading straight for us." Tom replied. "Oh my god, that's Halley's Comet! We're not supposed to see that for another 52 years!"

"It looks like it's coming fast for us!" Their boss pointed out.

"At my estimate, we have about...30 minutes before it hits us." Phineas said calmly.

"What do we do!?" Tom screamed out.

"Don't worry. We know what to do." Phineas turned to the camera again. "OK, kids. Listen up. We're in a national crisis situation, and you're gonna need to protect yourselves. So, here's what you're gonna need to do." Phineas went on to tell his audience to take cover under something made of wood, because according to recent research, a meteor attack would not destroy anything wooden. After they said that, they all did the same thing, including Tom, Diane, and their boss. They all ran inside the house and got under anything they could find that was made of wood.

"Kid, are you sure this is what we're supposed to be doing?" Tom asked Phineas.

"Yes. Yes I am. I do watch a lot of TV, as crazy as it sounds." He replied, as they all awaited for the inevitable to happen. Everyboday in town now was bracing for the impact. Even Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was still running around like a crazed maniacm while Perry looked on and hoped for the best.

"Phineas, if we don't make it out of this--" Isabella said to Phineas over the now loud roar that was the meteor. "I just want you to know...I love you!"

"I love you too, Isabella!" The two hugged tightly and kissed once more before the red light coming from the meteor overshadowed the sun, and edged closer to Danville. But, when it finally did reach Danville, it did not crash into the ground like everybody predicted. Instead, it crashed into Cleveland's house, and, well, you know the rest.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. "A giant meteor!? What is this world coming to!?"

When everybody realized that the meteor had hit his house and not the ground, they opened their front doors and windows to see for themselves. Everybody, even Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who witness this happen on his video monitor, was thrilled that nobody had been killed. "Yes!" He shouted into the open air. "I can't believe this, Perry the Platypus! We're going to live! We're going to live!!" What he didn't know, though, was that Perry had left a few moments ago. "High five!" And he only realized this when he turned around to give him a high five and he wasn't there. "Perry the Platypus? Where are you? Oh, I am alone again. Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Back with the kids...

"Wow, I can't beleive it. We survived." Phineas said as they all walked back out to the front yard.

"Yeah. Apparently, the meteor was aimed for Mr. Brown's house." Isabella pointed out, as they saw several houses down the destruction done.

Tom turned to the kids. "You know, that was quick thinking on your part, kid. But how did you know what to do?"

"I watch a lot of space documentaries."

'Well, good for you. It's about time kids your age get into this kind of stuff. Hmm, maybe I should rethink this whole "Kid Action News" thing."

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like a bad idea." Diane agreed.

"I agree. It's a wonderful idea." Their boss also agreed.

"So, kid, what do you say? You can stay on the air as long as you want." Tom proposed to Phineas, though he still had no idea what Phineas was all about.

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"What?" The newcaster's face fell in surprise. "Why? You've got a rousing career ahead of you!"

"Career!? Dude, I'm 10! I can't do this everyday!"

"Then why'd you do it in the first place!?"

"We couldn't think of anything else to do." Tom's jaw dropped at the irony in all of this. "We're gonna tear all this stuff down, now. But thanks for a great day." And with that, the kids all got to work taking apart everything they had done, while Tom was left standing there in shock. Just then, their pet platypus arrived on the scene, back in his mindless pet mode. "Oh there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 7a!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb travel to the center of the Earth.**

**Expected Update: January 10th the latest. But check anytime after January 7th.**

**Happy 2010!**


	9. 7b: Down to the Core!

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 7b: Down to the Core!**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb attempt to travel down to the center of the Earth to harness some of the pure energy that lies within the core, and they get more than they bargained for. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to siphon up the energy located at the Earth's core to drain the Earth of its resources.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!**

* * *

**_It was a brand new day in Danville. Phineas and Ferb were watching TV in their living room, a documentary on the history of Earth. There was nothing else on TV, and it was too early for them to go outside yet.

"And most scientists say that the core is mostly composed of iron and nickel. A recent discovery in its structure revealed that the mixture of both of these chemicals has created a substance of pure energy that, if harnessed, can ultimately change the science world forever. Scientists, however, have refused to travel to the center of the Earth to harness this energy because the core is said to be nearly 10,000 degrees fahrenheit."

It was a very fascinating documentary for them, one which others would fall asleep watching. But not Phineas or Ferb.

"Wow, Ferb. Can you imagine just what can be done if somebody went done to Earth's center and harnessed that pure energy?" Phineas said. "Hey, that's it! Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Ferb took out some blueprints and handed them to Phineas.

"As usual, we're--oh, no! No, that's not at all what I was thinking! Oh, dude!" Apparently, the blueprints were upside down and the picture showed something provocative. Ferb realized this and turned the blueprints the other way, fixing the problem. "Oh, yeah. That's it. Well, come on. I'll go round the troops, and you go get the supplies."

They jumped off the couch and started heading for the front door. But Phineas stopped in his tracks and looked back for a moment. Once again, he noticed that something was missing. "Hey Ferb, where's Perry?"

* * *

As usual, his platypus pet was already in his lair, in his brown fedora, at his chair, ready to receive his mission from his boss, Major Monogram. But, something was different this time. His boss appeared to be hunched over.

"Carl! Point the camera down!" He yelled to his intern, who then proceeded to point the camera down, revealing Major Monogram to be in some serious pain. "Good morning, Agent P." He groaned in pain. "Sorry. I threw my back out last night after falling down the stairs. Actually, my shoes were tied together. I didn't notice until I got to the staircase, and then I went to tie them up and I fell forward. 30 stairs later, I end up in the E.R. I had to get five stitches in my forehead and they put a splint in my back! I can't stand up straight for the rest of the day!"

"Anyway, Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again. This time, our sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz is planning to siphon up pure energy stored in the Earth's core to power up a new invention that will drain the Earth of its resources. We're talking about sucking up all the water from the oceans and the reservoirs, poisoning all the trees around the world to cut off our oxygen supply, etc. It's mutiny! He's pulling out all the stops this time, Agent P! You've got to stop him before it's too late!"

Agent P saluted his boss and left in hid hovercar. He was on his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair when he noticed that some of the trees in the Tri-State Area were beginning to wilt. Their leaves began falling off, and the bark began peeling. Plus, Perry noticed he had a harder time breathing than before. His watch went off; his boss on the other line. "Agent P, it looks like we have less time than we thought. The trees are already beginning to die out and the oxygen levels in the air have already shown significant drops. We estimate that the Earth has about 60 minutes before the Earth is toast! Go, Agent P! Failure is _not_ an option!"

The watch switched over to a pre-programmed timer, set for 1 hour, which began ticking down. Perry sped up towards Doofenshmirtz's lair.

**60:00:00**

**59:59:59**

**59:59:58**

* * *

Back on the ground, Phineas, Ferb, and their friends (except for Isabella, who had not arrived yet), were working on their mission to travel to the center of the Earth. They were starting to feel the effects of Doofenshmirtz's plan, as they all had a little trouble breathing, but they couldn't figure out why.

"Man, why is it getting harder to breath all of a sudden?" Phineas asked as he coughed lightly while working on their creation, which was a giant drill that would cut through the Earth's crust and get them to the center of the Earth.

Isabella came by, looking a bit pale and holding an inhaler. "Hey Phineas." She coughed. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"We're building a drill that we can use to get to the center of the Earth. Legend has it that trapped within the Earth's core is pure energy. If Ferb and I can harness that energy, who knows what kind of summer adventures we can have?" Phineas started coughing again, still very lightly, compared to the way Isabella coughed. "What's with the inhaler? I didn't know you had asthma."

"I don't. It's a rescue inhaler. I carry it with me in case I might have trouble breathing, like right now." She coughed again. "Gosh, what's going on? It's as if the air is suddenly losing oxygen making it harder for us to breath."

"I'm sure it's nothing we need to worry about." Phineas tried to assure her. He evengrabbed her shoulders and embraced her. "Now come on, we could sure use your help here."

"OK!" Phineas led her back to the drill where she helped finish construction of it, which only took about 15 minutes.

While they were building it, Isabella's coughs got worse overtime, and she seemed to be sicker than everybody else. Phineas was growing more concerned with each passing minute. She was beginning to look even paler than usual, her eyes were drooping, and her whole body started hurting. In fact, at one point during construction, Phineas pulled Isabella aside to make sure she was OK.

"Isabella, are you OK?" Phineas asked her, getting a grip on her in case she fainted. "You look horrible, and your coughing sounds horrible."

"I know!" She gasped for air. "It's weird! It's like there's no oxygen in the air! I can't breath!" She clutched her chest, but tried her best to look like she wasn't in that much pain, even though she was. Since the start of the summer, things have not been the same. **(Dude, Where's my Girlfriend)** "Phineas, remember when we went to California and I wound up in the hospital?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, the doctors said that liquid did something to me and now my whole body's a lot weaker than before, so I get sick more easily now."

"I know that, but still...I thought you would be a lot stronger than this." Isabella started coughing more violently, so Phineas hugged her and started patting her back, hoping that would ease the cough. Sadly, it didn't. "I got you, Isabella. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You'll get better, I promise. Look, if you don't feel up to it, you can skip this activity today. We could just do something tomorrow--"

"No, Phineas. I am not letting whatever is happening to me spoil my chance to be with you. I'll be fine. It's probably just a bug."

"If you're sure..."

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incor--_**

Before the evil jingle could even finish, Perry was caught by two robotic arms that popped out of Doofenshmirtz's roof. The arms retracted and brought the secret agent platypus into his lair, where he was then given an air helmet to wear, and dumped in a tank of water.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus." The doctor hissed as he walked to his captive, wearing a helmet on his head and an oxygen tank on his back. "As usual, your timing is uncanny. I hope you like my new trap. It's an aquariam just for you. I-I know you're supposed to be a semi-aquatic mammal, but this isn't any ordinary water. This water is my own creation! You see, since bad things seem to always happen to me, and good things seem to happen to everyone else, I am going to end the world as we know it!"

He walked over to his wall, pressed a button on it, and opened up his sun roof. "As we speak, Perry the Platypus, there is a satellite up in space that is sucking up the energy that is stored with the Earth's core. By doing this, I am destroying all of the trees in the world, and dropping the oxygen levels to where people can't breath anymore!" He checked his watch. "In just over an hour, the old Earth will be gone and the new Earth shall be born! People will fear the name of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!" The doctor started to laugh maniacally.

Perry began his struggle to break out of Doofenshmirtz's trap. Time was not on his side.

**43:14:38**

**43:14:37**

**43:14:36**

* * *

The drill was completed, and Phineas, Ferb, and all their friends were ready to dig down to the center of the Earth. Of course, they were all starting to feel the heat now. Earth's resources had been draining for over 15 minutes now, so oxygen levels were significantly lower and there was much less water to go around.

"Alright, guys. Pile in!" Phineas commanded, as Buford, Baljeet, Isabella, Ferb, and he, along with the Fireside Girls, all got into the drill, securing themselves in. It was big enough so that there were plenty of seats spread out through the contraption, so they weren't all squeezed together. Phineas sat by Isabella in the back so he could take care of her in case something happened to her, while Ferb sat in the front so he could drive the drill. "Don't forget your seatbelts."

"Seatbelts!" Everybody shouted simultaneously, putting on their seatbelts, in a _Dora the Explorer_ reference. "So we can be safe!"

"Hit it, Ferb!"

Ferb pulled one of the levers, turning the drill on, and hit the gas pedal. Then with quick hands, he got the drill to point downward and started drilling away at the surface. Within seconds, they were on their way to the center of the Earth. Phineas checked his watch. "We're making great time, people! We should be there in no time!" Unfortunately, time was not on their side.

**39:15:48**

**39:15:47**

**39:15:46**

Time was ticking away for them to get to the center of the Earth. Unfortunately, they had no idea that they were now in the middle of Perry's mission against Dr. Doofenshmirtz to save the Earth. Everybody felt the heat of the lack of oxygen. They were having a lot of trouble breathing, with the oxygen levels now just over half of what they should be. It was affecting Isabella more than anyone else, and Phineas could see that. She was now gasping for air.

"Isabella!" He shouted! "What's wrong with you!?"

"I don't know." She replied, her voice very hoarse. "I just feel really weak..."

"Just hang in there. We'll get this all sorted out soon. Just lie down." The boy stood up from his seat so Isabella could have room to lie down. She looked pale in her face, her eyes lost their glister, and her forehead was burning up. "You're burning up." He said after feeling her forehead. "Hang on." He climbed back up onto the seat, and pulled out an emergency kit. He opened it and pulled out a washcloth, and filled up one of the buckets in it with water from the sink. He dunked the washcloth into the bucket of cold water and placed it gently on Isabella's forehead. "There. This should cool you down. Now just relax."

Isabella looked up at her best friend and smiled weakly. She had stopped coughing, but now she was gasping for air, sweating, and pale. "Thanks, Phineas."

"And I promise, I will not leave your side until we get there." He took her hand, her weak & fragile hand and stared at her lovingly. But at that moment, the drill had suddenly stopped in its tracks, signaling that they were there. "We're here. Isabella, I have to--" He turned back to her to say he had to go, only to discover that she was fast asleep. "Nevermind." He kissed her on her cheek before he ran out and joined his friends by the front. "What happened?"

"I believe we hit something." Baljeet said.

"Yeah, and it looks like the drill won't go any further." Adyson went on.

"Then I guess we'll just have to jump out. Hang on." Phineas took out a grappling hook from yet another storage unit, and shot it out from their position all the way down to the nearest ground it could find, which was a long way down. "We're gonna slide down! But put these on first." Phineas took out a bunch of headbands and gave them to everyone. "These'll keep you cool while we're down there. You don't want to get burned, after all. Now come on!"

Everyone took their turn sliding down the grappling hook line, down even deeper towards the center of the Earth. Time was still not on their side.

**21:49:08**

**21:49:07**

**21:49:06**

They dropped down on a hard surface, prepared for the worst. They took a quick look around and were stunned at what they saw. Around them was a lot of electrical equipment. This surprised Phineas as he assumed the center of the Earth was just...rock and lava, like volcanoes.

"Wow..." Phineas said in amazement. "Look at all of this. It's like a scientist's laboratory."

"Look!" Buford called out, pointing over to one of the machines, which was seemingly connected to the Earth's core. The friends walked over to it and looked at it carefully, noticing that there was something inside of the core: it was a purple crystal of some sort, and the top half of it was pitch dark, while the bottom half was glowing. It appeared that as time passed, the half of the crystal that was darker was getting bigger while the lighter shade was getting smaller, indicating its power level.

They all walked up to the machine and gazed at the crystal. "Whoa, now this is unreal." Phineas said. "What do you think it is?"

"Well, based on my observations, I'm assuming that this crystal is the main power source for the Earth's core which gives our planet its resources. It also appears that the crystal is somehow being drained of its power, which is also draining our planet of its resources." Ferb said quickly, still staring at the crystal.

"Wow. But how is this happening? And why?"

"I feared that this day would come." A voice said from the distance. Everybody looked at each other, thinking it was one of them that said it. But then, a small silhouette, followed by a bunch of smaller silhouettes, came out of the shadows and approached the kids. They turned out to be tiny mole people. "Greetings, Earth children. I am Lord Mole, the lord of the mole people. You must be the ones from Maple Drive. Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Bufored, and Fireside Girls Troop 46231: Adyson, Milly, Gretchen, Ginger, Katie, and Holly. Correct?"

"Uh, yeah." He got every one of their names right.

"But may I ask, what about your dear girlfriend, Isabella?"

"She's taking a nap. The lack of oxygen was really starting to affect her. Hey, do you know what's going on around here?"

"Well, to a degree I do. All I know is that there is a force on the outside world that is forcefully draining our power crystal of its power, which, in turn, is draining the Earth of its resources."

"So that's how the world got its resources in the first place."

"Of course. What did you expect?"

"So what happens when the crystal runs out of power?"

"The Earth loses its resources and everybody on the planet dies."

"Is there any other way that you can save the Earth?"

"No, I'm afraid not. That crystal's the only power source that the core will be able to handle. I'm sorry. The high concentration of iron and nickel contained within the crystal is what gave it its limitless power to begin with. But with it being eroded like that, the crystal cannot continue to power the core, thus powering the Earth."

"Then the Earth is doomed..." Phineas sighed defeatedly as he looked to his friends, who all nodded in agreement. They were now all very pale, and their knees were getting weaker, with it becoming harder for their feet to hold their weight without enough oxygen.

"I'm afraid so. Earth has less than 20 minutes to live."

**16:07:19**

**16:07:18**

**16:07:17**

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Doofenshmirtz's lair...

"Ha ha! My plan is working! In just over 15 minutes, the Earth and all of its resources are doomed, and thus...I will be able to recreate the planet in my own..."

While he ranted on about his plan, Perry was busy escaping from his tank. I mean, he _is_ a semi-aquatic mammal of action. All he had to do was move around enough until he got enough momentum going where he could spring out of the tank, knocking his helmet off of him. He started sprinting over to his nemesis, using all of his stamina.

"...twisted..."

He leaped up and put his leg out.

"imag--AHHH!" And kicked him. He made a clear hit on the Dr.'s head, knocking him to the ground. "Perry the Platypus!? Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do to stop me! The satellite's still working, so there's no way to stop it! Well, except for that big button on the side that reads "Stop Evil Satellite From Sucking Up The Earth's Resources"." Doofenshmirtz pointed to a big red button on the wall, labeled as such. Perry immediately raced for it. "No, no, no! Perry the Platypus, don't push that button!"

The platypus did so, and a voice suddenly came on the loudspeaker. "Self-destruct sequence activated. 60 seconds 'til detonation."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz shook his head. "Oh boy. Not good. Oh well," He pulled out a remote with a lever on it. "You may have pushed the self-destruct button, but I still have enough time to throw my satellite into--" He pushed his lever forward as far as it would go. "OVERDRIVE!!"

And at that moment, Doofenshmirtz had set the course for Earth's ultimate doom. Now the resources were being drained faster than ever before, and it kept up for 60 seconds before it finally shut down and started falling down to Earth.

Doofenshmirtz looked at Perry for a moment. "Hey, you don't supposed the satellite will fall down and crash into something in the Tri-State Area, do you?" Perry shrugged. "Oh well. As long as it hits anything other than Vanessa or Charlene, I'm cool with it."

* * *

"Whoa..." Phineas said, staring at the crystal again, as now the bottom tip of it was glowing brightly while the top heavy half of it was pitch dark. "What just happened?"

"I'm not sure. Hang on." The moleman went over to the computer right next to the crystal and started typing stuff in. He was appalled at the results he got. "Oh dear. This is a problem. If these readings are correction, the process at which the crystal was being drained of its power was accelarated sharply, and then...poof! It fell flat."

"So...that's a good thing, right?"

"I don't think so. See, the crystal is now at less than 5% power. It doesn't have nearly enough power to continue to fuel the Earth with limitless resources."

"So what you're saying is..."

"We're all doomed. The crystal will slowly begin to deplete in power on its own. In fact, we have just 5 minutes until Earth dies. Unless..."

"Unless what!?" Phineas shrieked out. "What can we do!?"

"We could always built another crystal."

The friends all looked at each other, and then at the moleman. "Build another crystal?" Phineas asked. "Is that even possible?"

"Why yes. Yes it is. Come here." He led them to another draw, which he opened and took out a set of blueprints, blueprints of the crystal itself. "We were able to build it using our supply of iron and nickel. We had no idea what it was capable of at the time. You know, we were just playing around. But we drew up these blueprints once we discovered its power and we've kept them ever since."

"Wow! That's awesome! That means Earth has a chance!"

"Actually, there _is_ one small problem."

"What's that?" Phineas asked quickly, knowing time was of the essence.

"When we built it billions of years ago, it took us almost 6 hours to build it, and we're the smartest of our kind!"

"Wait, there's more of you?"

"Long story. Anyway, the point is -- something of this magnitude takes time to build. It's not like building a go-kart. Even someone of your intelligence would still take at least 30 minutes to build this. We don't have that kind of time. Of course, there is a way we can slow down Earth's demise." He took them to the other side of the machine, where a stationary bike was set up.

"A stationary bike?" Baljeet asked. "What good will that do?"

"We hooked this up ages ago in case of an emergency like this one. If one of you rides it, keeping it at a constant brisk pace, you can generate some power for the crystal to keep it from dying out."

"So then why do we have to build another crystal?"

"I said 'some' power! 'Some'! Trust me, kid, you guys would never be able to ride this thing long enough to generate the power it needs. And I'm not saying that to be mean.

"Well, that settles it! Somebody has to ride that stationary bike while the rest of us build the new crystal."

"I'll do it!" Buford volenteered. "I might not be the fastest one of the bunch, but I'm the strongest, and I think that's what we need here."

"Are you sure, Buford? It's a big job..."

"Yeah, and I'm up for it! Besides, it's been a long time since I've had a good workout, since they shut down that gym for bullies."

"You know, even with all of us working on the crystal--" Ferb began as Buford got himself set up. "--it will still take a long time for it to be up and running, and that's assuming we build it correctly at all."

"You're right, Ferb."

"By my calculations, if we added just one more person to our platoon, we could reduce our working time to...about 10 minutes." Baljeet said.

"But there's only 9 of us not including Buford. We're gonna need one more person..." Phineas was uncertain that they could get the job done in 10 minutes with just 9 people. But luckily his prayers were solved right there and there, as a fragile & weak, yet overly-determined Isabella came sliding down the grappling hook line, and fell to the ground face first. Everyone ran over to her aid as fast as they could.

"Who said you could start the party without me?" She said as she looked up and grinned weakly to them before her head fell again. Phineas smiled.

"Come on, get up, Isabella! We need your help." Phineas said to his friend, as they helped her up, and they all got to work. They used a lot of wood, purple coloring, and lots of iron and nickel, and it really did take them only ten minutes. Afterwards, they were all exhausted, and somewhat agitated, as they each collapsed onto their knees. in fatigue. "And we're done! Finally!"

"Excellent work, children!" The Mole King said proudly. "OK, Buford! You can stop with the stationary bike now!" Buford stepped off the bike, barely breaking a sweat, and walked over to his friends as they held up the crystal.

"OK, so now what?"

"Now we have to take out the old crystal and install the new crystal. And we must hurry!" The kids quickly walked over to the machine as the Mole King walked over to a lever. "OK, when I pull this switch, the core will temporarily deactivate. After that, you will have exactly 15 seconds to take the old crystal out, and put the new one in before Earth completely dies for good. Do you understand?" They all nodded. "Good. OK, here we go!" He pulled the switch hard, and the core shut down, going completely black. Quickly, Phineas took the old crystal back, and then put the new crystal in the exact same place. He was amazed to see that it could float in place.

Once it was installed, the Mole King pulled the switch again and the core reactivated. The crystal was lit with power, and right away, Earth's resources began restoring themselves. The oxygen returned and the trees were being reborn, even better than ever. And the kids were the first ones to feel the effects of the oxygen, having their energy restored. "Wow! I feel better already!" Phineas said, as everybody agreed, though Isabela was still a bit fragile. Even so, she felt better than she has all day. "I guess everything is returning to normal, huh?"

"I guess so." Isabella said weakly. "Now let's go home!"

"Yeah!" Everyone shouted enthusiastically, which wore off once they saw their drill again. Getting in was easy. Getting out was another story. "So...how exactly are we going to get back?" Milly immediately asked, to which Phineas's face fell.

"Oh...right. I guess we didn't think of that." He said as he turned to the Mole King. "Think you could help us out?"

* * *

**During the Credits**

Back on the surface world, they were able to get the drill fixed and as a result of this, they were able to get back to the surface world. They all cheered as they exited the device, and ran back home to rest, except for Isabella, who was still too weak to move. While Ferb was putting the drill away, Phineas stood by Isabella and made sure she didn't pass out.

"Hey Isabella? You doing OK?" Phineas graciously asked her, smilling warmly at her. "You look a lot better."

"Yeah. I still feel a bit woozy, though, but I think after I rest for a little while, I'll be fine." She tried to be brave, but she was still hurting pretty badly.

"I'll walk you home and tuck you into bed if you want. I'll even stay with you to make sure you're OK." She kissed him on his forehead and hugged him. Afterwards, he took her hand and slowly walked her home, where he tucked her into bed and stayed there for a couple of hours while she slept peacefully.

Meanwhile, down the street, the satellite Doofenshmirtz used to try and destroy the world was still falling, and where did it finally crash land? That's right. Cleveland's house. Where else?

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked over at the satellite, not knowing it was Doofenshmirtz's. "Oh my god! First our health care, and now NASA!? What's our government going to destroy next!?"

**End of Episode 7b!**

**Yeah, as you can see, I've pretty much made the "Cleveland's bathtub gag" the B-plot to _Phineas and Ferb_, now that Candace is gone. Anyway,**

**Next Time: Phineas undergoes a surprising transformation in personality. (Get ready for another _Everybody Hates Chris_ reference)**

**Expected Update: Look for it anywhere after January 11th.**


	10. 8: He'll Be Coming Round the Ghetto

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 8: He'll be Coming 'Round the Ghetto**

**Episode Summary: After watching a documentary on the history of black people, Phineas suddenly decides to explore the world of the "ghetto". He takes on all the personality traits of someone from Brooklyn, but also takes on the severe consequences that come with it. Meanwhile, Perry gets bored at home when he is given the day off, and Linda tries to renew her license, and along the way, discovers the source of Candace's paranois problems.**

**A/N: Get ready for another _Everybody Hates Chris _reference. All narrations are in bold and are done in Chris Rock's POV.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___[**Everybody Hates Chris** theme song plays]_

_**

* * *

**_It was nighttime in Danville (just hours after the 'Journey to the Center of the Earth'). Perry was in his secret lair, receiving his payment and a congratulary thank you from his boss.

"Agent P, your mission was a success. You stopped Doofenshmirtz from destroying the world and recreating it in his own, twisted image. On behalf of the Agency, I would like to thank you with a giant bonus check, but...due to some recent budget cuts, all I can afford is your regular payment."

At that point, Perry's weekly paycheck slipped through his printer. He took it out and looked at it for a moment. He then looked up at his boss. "So, instead, the agency has opted for you to have tomorrow off from work. Congratulations, Agent P. You've earned it."

The platypus sighed a sigh of relief, saluted his boss, and then left to return to his family, who were watching TV on the couch in the living room. They were watching a documentary on the achievements of African Americans, in celebration of President Barack Obama's presidency.

"Gee, dad, all of these folks sure talk funny." Phineas said, noting how all the black people mentioned on TV talk in a way that makes them seem dumber.

"Well, son, unfortunately, most of them grew up on the streets and thus, they didn't learn proper English. That's why they talk like they're trying to hurt people when really, they're not."

"But look at them. So many of them are so successful. Look at Will Smith, DJ Jazzy Jeff, Kanye West, even president Obama."

"Yes, well, obviously those people knew what was right and wrong with today's society, and have dedicated their time to change things."

"Boy, I wish I could be like them. I wish I could act like them. Then maybe I'd be able to make a difference."

"Well, Phineas, what you want may not always be what you need. Trust me. Now come on, scamp. It's time for bed."

"Alright, alright." Phineas and Ferbboth stood up, said goodnight to their mother and father, and then went upstairs so they could put on their pajamas and climb into bed. All throughout the night, though, he kept having dreams about what it would've been like to grow up in Brooklyn, like Chris Rock. After all, Chris Rock was the only black kid in his high school. **And thus, our story begins.**

* * *

**Danville was naturally a very quiet and sirene town, and the only noise you could hear during the day would be the construction of another one of Phineas and Ferb'swonderful projects. That, or the sound of Candace screaming her head off. But she's in military school.**

Linda, Lawrence, Ferb, and Isabella, who had come in earlier, were eating breakfast in the kitchen. It was seven o' clock in the morning, and Phineas was the only one not eating yet.

But he soon came down, and he was already dressed...in a black leather jacket and black leather pants. **And apparently, Phineas is off his nut.**

"Good morning, family." He said valiently as he walked over to where Isabella was sitting, and kissed her. "And good morning, Isabella. What up?"

"Excuse me?"

"What up? That's street for 'What's going on'? Whaddya think of my new street lingo, babe?" **I used to think he was just held back a few years.**

"Excuse me, did you just call me babe!?"

"Yes. Yes I did. So, babe, you wanna do something later?"

"Phineas, what exactly are you doing?" Lind asked curiously.

"What?"

"Well, you're talking weird, and you're dressed differently."

"Remember that documentary we watched last night about the history of African Americans?"

"Yeah."

"Well, since they all turned out so famous, I've decided that I'm going to step into their shoes and live the life of an street thug." **What he didn't know was back in my day, there was a difference between acting street and acting black. Only problem was, acting street didn't sit too well with our government. **

"Phineas, are you sure that's a good idea?" Isabella asked curiously.

"Of course I am. I mean, what's the worst thing that could possibly happen?" **You could die.**

"I guess you have a point. Still, I can't help but worry about you."

"There's no need, Isabella. If I thought that I were in any danger, then I wouldn't be wearing this leather jacket." **Only two people could sport a leather jacket like that: Burt Reynolds and Norm MacDonald when he's impersonating Burt Reynolds on SNL. **"By the way, where's Perry?"

He noticed that his platypus wasn't with them, but when he walked into the living room, he noticed Perry sleeping on the couch. "Oh, there he is. That's weird. He's always disappeared by now." **Like our country's money.**

"Perhaps he's been a bit lonely lately and wants to spend some time with his family." Ferb implied, to which Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella gave some thought.

"Nah, he's probably sick. Poor Perry. Oh well. Come on, boy. Let's get you into bed." He picked up his pet platypus and put him in his bed. "There you go. Now you rest up, buddy." Phineas looked up at his mom who walked into the living room. "So mom, what are you and dad doing today?"

"Well, your father's off to his seminar and I'm off to renew my license. Are you kids going to be OK here?"

"Sure, mom. We'll be fine. I mean, we'll be _chillin'_. You dig me, mamasita?" **Oh you'll be digged alright. Digged up, that is.**

"OK. You know our numbers. Call if there is any trouble. Bye." She bent down and kissed both her children on the foreheads, stroked Isabella's hair, and then whisked off in a hurry.

"Well, that was drippin'." Phineas said in a street tone. "Come on. Let's go." He led the three of them outside, leaving Lawrence to finish his breakfast, and Perry to nap in his bed, enjoying his first day off in years.

* * *

So Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella went outside, ready to embrace yet another glorious summer's day. "Now this is the life! Sunshine, birds singing, Mr. Brown's house getting destroyed on a daily basis..." Isabella said with a big ol' smile on her face. "Now that's summer!" **No! That's America!**

"Oh I hear you, girl!" Phineas said. "Nothin' like standing out here in a black jacket with an entire summer ahead of ya. We're gonna have a blast, right, dog?" He turned to Ferb, who didn't turn his head. "Dog? Yo, you feel me? Ah, whateves! You don't care. Oh well, let's shimmy on over to Jeet's house." **He doesn't even realize that half the stuff he's saying isn't even street. It's 70's.**

He knocked on Baljeet's front door as they approached his house. Baljeet answered almost immediately, wearing his standard clothes. "Oh, hello Phineas. Ferb." He looked at Isabella and immediately his eyes were filled with hearts. "Isabella."

"Yo whadup, Jeet?" Phineas said. "How's it hangin'?"

"I beg your pardon?" The boy asked, confused to see his friend acting street.

"I say 'How's it hangin'? 'How's it hangin'?" **That's not cool no matter how many times you say it.**

"Um, I am fine, I suppose."

"Ugh!" Phineas sighed and cupped his eyebrows. "See, that's the problem with you, Jeet. You're too book smart. You don't understand what it means to be street like me. I'm hip, I'm funky, and I'm wearing extremely tight leather pants."

"I know..." Isabella said dreamily, staring at Phineas.

"Eyes up, girl. So, Jeet, go get dressed and let's go enjoy life in the ghetto."

"But...I am dressed." **You look like you just got out of bed on Monday morning.**

"Oh. Right."

"Well...I must be on my way."

"Why? Where are you going?" Isabella asked.

"My parents told me that I should get more involved with sports rather than just books all the time. So I signed up for baseball camp. Today is our first game."

"That's cool. Are you any good?"

"No! I am horrible at it!"

"But it's so easy, Jeet! All you have to know is how to bat, swing, catch, and throw." **And how to warm benches.**

"I supposed you are right. But I cannot seem to "get a grip" on the game. Still, it is very exciting. Would you like to join me?" **No!**

"Yeah!" **Damn!** "That's sounds drippin'." Phineas was going a bit overboard with his street lingo, and it was actually starting to annoy his friends. "What?"

"Phineas, you're not very street." Isabella said to her boyfriend, who barely even heard her.

"Aw, come on, toots." He said as he put his arm around her shoulder, making her just a tad uncomfortable. "We all got something we ain't proud of. I got my skeletons in my closet, and you got all that action going down there."

She turned to him fiercely, eyeing him down. "Ex-Excuse me!?"

"I'm saying what you got down there's pretty, girl. Now come on, let's go cheer Jeet on at his baseball game." He turned around and started walking away, following Baljeet to the park. Isabella and Ferb stayed behind.

"Did you-Did you just hear what Phineas said to me!? He was making me feel uncomfortable!"

"Well, haven't you been doing that to him for the past week?"

"N-No. No! It was different with me! I was complimenting him and he was insulting me!" **Say what?**

"Well, this reminds me of an old saying: Treat others the way you would like to be treated." **Somebody should tell that to Rod Blagojevich.**

* * *

**While they were busy with sports, their mother was busy with Drivers Ed. **Linda drove up to the parking lot of the "Danville Drivers Institution" so she could renew her drivers license. She got out of her car and started making her way to the front door, when she discovered that there was an extremely long line that started inside and continued outside. "Oh my goodness! That line must be at least 50 people long!" **It's even longer than the line to see a David Copperfield show.**

She walked hesitantly towards the line, trying to get a good view of where the end of it was. She was shocked to see it went all the way around the store, to the other side of the building. "This is going to take forever!" SHe shouted to herself, to the distain of other people around her.

"Hey, lady! We don't like it any more than you do!" One guy said. "But can you please keep your nasally voice down!? They might send the security guards after us!"

Linda looked at the guy for a moment before turning to the people in front of her. "My voice isn't _that_ nasally, is it?" **To those at the Warner Theater, it is.**

So Linda went to the back of the line and waited patiently for her turn...or, at least tried to. 5 minutes in, and she was already getting annoyed. "Come on, people! Keep this line moving! I got places to be!"

"Hey lady, keep it down up there!" A guy who had moved to the back of the line said. "We _all_ got places to be! The world don't revolve around you."** That's what the White House is for.**

Linda looked back at the man, who seemed rude to her, and scoffed. "Well, at least I'm not fat!" She shouted, which caused him to step out of the line, walk up to her, and stare her down fiercely.

"What did you say, woman!?"

"Uh...Uh...nothing..."

"You better! Or else you're gonna get a big helping of _this_!" He held up his giant fist at her, causing her to shake. With that, he stood up and left to take his place back in line. Linda was left frozen in her tracks. "Now keep this line moving, fatty! I don't want to have to look at you all day!"

"Excuse me, but do you know who I am!?" **Catherine Zeta Jones?**

"Yeah. You're Lindana! I hated her!!" **I can see why.**

* * *

Meanwhile, back at home, Perry was sleeping in his bed, keyword _was_. He had awakened for a strange reason, and started walking around the house. He was a bit on edge, as by now, he was normally on his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair to foil another evil plan of his. But not today. Today he was supposed to be relaxing, but he couldn't. So he decided to pay his lair a visit.

"A-Agent P!" It was no secret that Major Monogram was surprised to see him there. "What are you doing here!? I mean, not that I'm upset to see you or anything, but...you have the day off, remember?"

Perry nodded and sighed.

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I don't have a mission ready for you. I mean, Doofenshmirtz _is_ up to something but Wanda's division sent one of its top agents to foil Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plan for you." **Now I see what they meant by "Animal Research".**

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, over at the evil scientist's lair, the doctor was busy working on his latest creation, when suddenly, his window breaks. He turns around, assuming it's his nemesis.

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. As usual, your timing is un--wait, wait, you're not Perry the Platypus." He was surprised to see that instead of Perry standing there, it was his Wanda's division counterpart, Pinky the Chihuahua. "Wh-Who are you?"

Pink walked over to the evil scientist and handed him a note that Monogram had given him, explaining everything.

Doofenshmirtz read it aloud. "_Dear Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, due to Perry the Platypus taking a personal day today, Wanda's division of the O.W.C.A. has sent over a temporary replacement to foil your evil plan, Pinky the Chihuahua. Signed, Major Francis Monogram._Oh come on, you can't be serious!! First, Scripps takes away my favorite channels, and then the organization takes away my nemesis!?" **Be grateful they didn't take your house.** "Oh this stinks! They can't do this to me!" **Looks like they just did.**

"Ah, who cares? I don't need him! Besides," He took out a remote and pressed the button, and in seconds, Pinky's two back feet were cuffed to the ground. "This gives me the perfect opportunity to test out my latest invention." He pressed another button, and out came a giant laser gun, with a laser pointer of every color installed in it. "Behold...the Fade-inator!" **Looks more like one of the lamps my father used to build.**

"So, Pinky the Chihuahua, yo-you notice how all evil villains on TV have their favorite color set to black? You notice that? Well, NOT ME! I hate that color! I hate it so very much! It-It all started when I was very young. Back in Druselstein, I used to get beaten up on a daily basis. The local bullies would punch me and kick me all over, and by the end of the day...well, strangely enough, the only bruising I would get would be two black eyes. But I got beaten on a daily basis. Every single day, for 5 years, I'd go and get two black eyes. And once I was done getting cleaned up, I would go and be forced to be the lawn gnome...uh, I'd rather not go into that backstory again. I hope you don't mind. Anyway, now I have the chance to eliminate the color black from the entire Tri-State Area! And my new Fade-inator with do that!"

"You see, Pinky the Chihuahua, once I activate this device**, **this machine will shoot a laser from any laser pointer from the color choice that I want to eliminate. For example, if I choose to eliminate the color green, I'll set the machine to fire out of the green laser pointer. Then, with the homing chip I designed and installed, the laser beam will fire into the skies of the Tri-State Area, and hit a random object of that color, thus causing the color to fade off of that object into oblivion forever! Here, I-I'll give you a demonstration."

He set up his machine to fire out a red laser, and then fired. The laser traveled across the Tri-State Area, and hit a stop sign on Maple Drive. THe entire color red was faded away, and the letters S-T-O-P were rendered invisible since they were painted white, which was what the stop sign was left after the laser was done with it. Meanwhile, a car, going at about 40 miles an hour, was coming down the street,, and had his eye on the sign. Since he saw it disappear, he began to panic and started driving crazily in the street, eventually turning his wheel the wrong way and crashing his car into Cleveland's house, and...well, you know the rest.

Cleveland looked at the driver of the car and angrily stood up, putting a towel over his private parts. "Boy, what is wrong with you!? Didn't you see that stop sign over there!?" He pointed over to where the stop sign once was. Apparently, Cleveland put up the stop sign to stop people from crashing into his house.

"What stop sign?"

"What stop sign!? Boy, just look over...wait a minute!!" He looked over and saw the stop sign was all white. "Wait a sec, what the heck happened to my stop sign!? Aww, dang! The government must've taken it back! I don't get it! I only put it up hours ago! Stuff like that usually doesn't disappear that quickly for Phineas and Ferb!" **If Congress worked that quickly to pass Health Care, whoknows where we would be right now!?**

* * *

**While Cleveland was figuring out his mid-life crisis, Baljeet was trying to figure out how to play baseball. **Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Baljeet were at the Danville Baseball Stadium. It was time for Baljeet's little league game. His team was called the "Mathamaticians" and consisted of him, along with the Fireside Girls, Adyson, Milly, Ginger, Gretchen, Holly, & Katie, and Buford. They were playing against the Danville "Cold Sloths", a rival Tri-State baseball team. It's a long story, but back in the old day, there was a screw-up in the creation of the team, and as a result, two teams were created, rivaling each other ever since. They rival each other in the Major Leagues, and now their children carry on the tradition.

Baljeet stepped up to the bat. His team was down by 3 runs, and the bases were loaded. "Come on, Jeet! You can do it!" Phineas yelled encouragingly to his friend. "Just remember what I told you! Release your inner ghetto!" **Back in Brooklyn, they called that "mugging a senior".**

Baljeet was totally unsure of what he meant by that. So instead, he just turned to the pitcher and waited for his to throw the ball. The first pitch came at him quickly, and was called a "strike" since Baljeet swung his bat. "_STRIKE 1!_" The umpire yelled.

"Hit me home, nerd, before I hit you!" Buford yelled, who was on third base. Milly was on second base, and Katie was on first base.

The second pitch came, and once again, it was a strike. "_STRIKE 2!!_" The umpire yelled out. People in the stands were groaning and beginning to boo. **This is exactly what happened to Brittany Spears's career. **

"Oh no! I cannot strike out! I cannot afford a bad grade. My dreams of going to Harvard will be trashed!" **They're already trashed. But it ain't because of his grades.**

"You can do it, Baljeet!" Phineas yelled to his friend. "Just remember what I said! Release your inner ghetto!"

"But Phineas, I cannot--"

"You can! You're just telling yourself you can't because you're scared! Relax and let your mind do the rest!"

Baljeet took in some deep breaths, and closed his eyes, hoping to concentrate enough to suddenly get good at baseball. Unfortunately, he did not focus again in time to see the ball coming at him. "_STRIKE 3!! YOU'RE OUT! CLOD SLOTHS WIN 5 to 2!_"

"WHAT!?" Baljeet shouted, turning to face the umpire. "What kind of stinkin' call was that!? That was clearly a ball! I've seen my great-grandmother make better calls than that, and she is 104!"

"Look, kid, I think you're a little too young to be questioning an umpire."

"And I think you're too fat to _be_ an umpire, bub!"

Everybody there gasped simultaneously. **Well, it was nice knowing him. Sort of... **"That's right! You think you're sooooooo cool! What, with your stinky helmet and that stupid torso padding you have on your body!? Well you are not! Because that was the lousiest call I have ever seen a white fat man make in my entire life! You, sir, are pathetic!" With that, he decided to swing his bat at the umpire's head, missing, since the umpire ducked in time. With that, he threw his bat to the ground and stormed away, meeting up with his friends. "How was that, Phineas? Was that enough "inner ghetto" for you?"

"Uh...Baljeet, I hate to say this, but that wasn't your inner ghetto."

"It was not?"

"No. That was your inner Kanye West." **Ouch.**

"And...that's a bad thing? I mean, your sister must've unleashed it on you and Ferb all the time when she was still here." **I don't know who that hurt more. **"But you know what, I believe you had a point back there, Phineas. Perhaps I do not know all there is about the life of a street thug."

"See, that's what I was trying to tell you, dawg. There's more to life than just books and school. It's about the open street, the open road. It's about getting down and dirty, taking risks, living life to the fullest! In fact, I think I know just how to show you..." **I don't think Monty Python's gonna help us.**

"Phineas, what are you thinking?" Isabella immediately asked.

"I'm thinking that the only way to show Baljeet the true meaning of the street life is to have all of our friends embrace it."

"What are you talking about!?"

"I mean, the whole leather jackets, leather pants, cool glasses, street lingo, that kind of stuff."

"Look, as much as I love your big ideas, I don't feel so good about this one. I mean, acting the way you are on a regular basis could get you in a lot of trouble."

"Oh stop your worrying, babe!" He slapped her backside (literally, her back, not her butt) and caused her to jolt up in the air a few inches. "Quit being so high and tight all the time! Loosen up! Live! That's what life is all about!" **My dad always told me that life was all about getting a good job, meeting a nice woman, making some money, and finding a nice place to live. Apparently, he was right.** "Come on! It'll be fun!"

"No, Phineas! I'm not doing it! Not this time!"

"Fine. Suit yourself."

Before they had a chacne to leave the ballpark, Baljeet's couch, Coach Michaels (who would be portrayed by Jillian Michaels) came up to him with a paper in her hand. She handed the paper to baljeet, who took it and sighed. "Wait a minute. A C+!?"

"Well, Jeet, your ball handling did suck out there, and--"

"I know _that_, Phineas! I'm surprised because I beleived that I would have gotten an F! So what happened, Coach Michaels?"

"Well, you _are_ on the Academics Team, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I do not see--"

"Bring us home the trophy this year, man. See you in September!" **Here's a little life lesson for you: Black man plus Academics Team equals a C+ in sports. It even works in reverse. **

_(Cue Flashbac__k)_

_Buford was standing by the teacher's desk, having just handed in his History Paper. History was Buford's worst subject, and he was fearing the worst. But his fears were tarnished once he got his grade. "A C+!?" Bufrod said in surprise. _

_"Sure. I mean, look, you wrote your paper on a used napkin, it has absolutely nothing to do with the Industrial Revollution, you have the pennmanship of a four-year old girl, but...you're on the wrestling team, right?"_

_"Yes. Yes I am!" _**White man plus Wrestling Team equals a C+ in Chemistry.**

_(End Flashback)_

* * *

**While Phineas was getting ready to put together an army, Linda was getting ready to take her driving test.** Finally, after an hour of waiting in line, Linda was at the front desk of the Driving Institution.

"Can I help you?" The man at the desk, Mr. Harper, asked.

"Yes. I'm here to renew my driver's license. It expires today." Linda said patiently.

"OK. Just fill out this form, take a number, and wait for your number to be called, where you'll proceed to the driving portion of our test. After that, you'll take the written part of our test. Remember, a grade above 80% is passing." **Just like the ACT's.**

"Thank you." She took her form and proceeded to one of the waiting chairs, where she filled out the form quickly, and then waited for her number to be called. Unfrotunately for everybody else, she had a problem with waiting. After five minutes passed, she began to grow agitated, thus stemming a bit of her paranoia and impatiences, two traits commonly found in her own daughter, Candace, though she's often too stupid to see this. "OK, this is ridiculous!" She screamed as she stormed up to the counter. "Sir, I have been waiting here for hours and I have not been called yet! What gives!?"

"Um, miss? You've only been here five minutes."

Linda opened her eyes widely and looked down at her watch, and suddenly felt stupid. "Oh. Really? Has it only been five minutes?" **In Europe, they've already passed 17 new laws.**

"Yes. And I'm going to have to ask you not to shout, please. This is a public domain, and the world doesn't revolve around you."

"Fine. Sorry." Linda turned around to return to her seat, before Mr. Harper shouted something out.

"19!" Indiciating the next number he'd be serving.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Doofensmhirtz's evil lair...

"And now, it's time for me to eliminate all traces of the color black in all of the Tri-State Area! Ahahahaha! And the best part is, there is nothing you can do about it, Pinky the Chihuahua! W-Wow, that sounds really awkward. I-I can't wait until tomorrow when Perry the Platypus comes back. Then I won't feel so--"

While Doofenshmirtz was rambling, Pinky was busy trying to break free from his trap. While Pinky was just as experienced as Perry was when it came to doing his job, physically, he was a bit weaker. He couldn't break out as easily as Perry could, and as a result, he was close to putting the world in jeopardy of losing a favorite color forever. Of course, there was still the facts of Doofenshmirtz's occasional malfunctions, like now.

"Oh no, no, no!" Doofenshmirtz noticed that his machine was started to smoke up. "Not now! Aww, this thing is always malfunctioning on me! Oh man, I hope this doesn't interfere with my plans today!" This small setback bought Pinky some time, so he tried to escape from his trap.

Pinky used one of his toenails (yes, Isabella did a poor job of cutting her dog's toenails) to jiggle the lock in one of her cuffs. After he freed his left foot, he focused on his right foot, and once both feet were free, he set his sights on Doofenshmirtz, and he started by punching and kicked him all over the place. "Pinky the Chihuahua!? You've escaped! Well, that's only a minor setback! For you see, I have another trap ready for you!" So he pulled out a ray gun that produced nearly unbreakable bubbles (similar to the one he used on Perry in **Are you my Mummy?**) and shot several bubbles at Pinky. But he missed every single shot, and instead of trapping other things in the bubbles, they formed together to create one big bubble, and the more bubbles Doofenshmirtz shot, the bigger the bubble became. "Wait, wait, wait! What is going on!?" Doofenshmirtz shouted.

The bubble only continued to grow bigger and bigger until finally, both Doofenshmirtz and Pinky were trapped in one giant bubble, unpenetrable from the inside. "Well...this is...bad..." **But the good news is, you might not have to pay rent this month.**

* * *

Phineas had decided to take all of his friends down to the Danville Shopping Store, where they could find clothes that only a street thug would wear. Ominous music began playing as every one of Phinea's friends, with the exception of Isabella, began surfing the store for black leather jackets & leather pants, leather shoes, anything that either a street thug or a goth kid would wear. After they were done suiting up, they took to the streets to strut their stuff, while Isabella lazily followed behind.

**_They told him don't you ever come around here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it_**

Their first stop was an abandoned neighborhood on the edge of Danville. While they were there, they met up with a local gang that hung out there. An intense lash-out between the two gangs resulted in both of them leaving bitter and upset. So Phineas decided to lead his platton to another neighborhood.

**_You better run, you better do what you can  
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad_**

**_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated _**

They stopped over at a fast-food joint to grab some lunch, and while Phineas was trying to impress Isabella with his street lingo, all he was doing was getting her angry. She didn't like the fact that Phineas was totally different than what she was used to about him. And she most definitely did not like the fact that she had dragged her troop into it as well.

**_Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right_**

**_Just beat it, (beat it)  
Just beat it, (beat it)  
Just beat it, (beat it)  
Just beat it, (beat it)_**

**_They're out to get you, better leave while you can  
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it_**

You have to show them that you're really not scared  
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
They'll kick you, then they beat you,  
Then they'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

**_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
_****_Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right_**

**_Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
_****_Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right_**

After a lot of moving around, Phineas, Ferb, and everybody else finally decided to take a short rest in a dark alley near the edge of the Tri-State Area. All the while, Isabella was getting more and more upset with Phineas, and Adyson could see that.

"Hey Isabella, what's the matter?" She asked.

"It's Phineas. He's not acting like himself. He's acting like a regular street thug, and I don't like it one bit!"

"Why not?"

"Because that's not the Phineas I fell in love with! He's talking in street, and half the time I can't understand him! My Phineas is compassionate, understanding, optimistic, cute, and fun-loving." **So was Gary Coleman.** "I want _that _Phineas back!"

"Well you know how he is. Once today ends, he'll be over this whole street thing and he'll be on to something else tomorrow. But, if it's really bothering you, you could always go talk to him about it."

"I guess...I just hope he's not too caught up in this whole "street" thing to listen." **I once tried to act that way in front of my dad. All that got me was two black eyes and a broken jaw.**

So Isabella walked up to Phineas, who was chewing on a toothpick, you know, like most street people do. "Uh, Phineas, can I talk to you for a second?"

Phineas looked up at her and took off his glasses, revealing a neutral and somewhat annoyed look.

"Look, I don't exactly know how to say this, but...I don't like this new "ghetto" persona you've taken on."

"What'cha talkin' about, girl?"

"See! Right there! That kind of talk -- it's just stupid! I don't like i! And I don't care that it's your big summer project for the day!"

"Babe, please! Nothing could possibly go wrong! You worry way too much."

"_Me_!? Worry too much!?"

"Yeah. Just relax and enjoy the new view, toots." **Toots!?**

"Say what!?"

"Say word!" **Oh there's a word she wants to say alright.**

Meanwhile, another gang had snuck up on them and were looking pretty angry with them. "Hey!" The gang leader shouted, gathering everybody's attention.

"S'up, bro!" Phineas shouted to him. "How's it hangin'?"

"What the hell do you and your little friends think you're doing here!?"

"Uh...hanging out. It that a crime?" **It is if you're not with a guardian or a parent.**

"Anywhere else -- no. But here -- yes. See, around here, we're known as the "Danville Blood Bandits", and this, here, is our turf."

"Turf? You mean you like to surf too?"

"No, turf, as in, our property, doofus!"** Phineas may have been street, but he wasn't street smart, and that's where it counts.**

**See, every town has its share of gangs, and every gang has a small part of town that they claim as their own. If one gang intrudes on another gang's turf, then the two engage in what is called a "duel", and that could mean anything. But in the end, the result is always the same: The losers are sent back to their own turf and are forced to give up one of their members. If you don't believe me, go buy Spiderman 3 for Xbox 360 and find out for yourself.**

"Hey, man, we ain't hurtin' nobody!" **Nobody but yourselves.**

"Look, just get out of here before we're forced to pound your face."

"Oh please, brotha', you think I'm scared of you!? 'Cause I ain't, and neither are my possy! Right, possi? Possi?" He turned around to see all of his friends standing behind him, motionless, paralyzed from fear considering the size of their competition. "OK, seriously!? You're scared of _these_bums!? Gosh, you people are the wimpiest, the scarediest, the dumbest group of kids I have ever seen in my life, man! I don't even know why you guys hang out with me!" **Because their parents think it'll keep them out of the military.**

Every one of his friends glared at him angrily, crossing their arms, and even going as far as taking off their leather jacket. "Dumb!?" Adyson shouted out.

"Wimpy!?" Buford called.

"Scared!?" Holly growled. "Dude, do you even know who we are?" **You're not the Jonas Brothers. That's for sure.**

"Yeah! You're all just a bunch of scaredy babies who can't take a punch! Well, fine! I can handle these bad boys all by myself, dawg! And then, you alls gonna feel real sorry." **Yeah, sorry they didn't stay in bed today.**

"Fine! See if we care!" Isabella shouted as they all decided to leave Phineas to deal with the "Blood Bandits". Everything after that was history...

* * *

**While Phineas was finally getting a taste of his own medicine, Linda was finally able to get behind the wheel of a car.**Linda was finally able to get on the road to renew her license. Unfortunately, she did not do very well. Since she was so used to Candace giving her a call during her day, she expected one from her now, completely forgetting that she was in military school. She had her cellphone on her the entire time, and was repeatedly told by the instructer to put it away.

"Miss, it's illegal to drive while on your cellphone. Please put youur cellphone away."

After about the 6th time, she snapped at him and told him to "Go jump in a ditch, you toad!! Can't you see I'm waiting for my daughter to call me to bust my two sons!?!?"" After that, it was all downhill from there.

In fact, she allowed her deeply buried paranois to take over, and as a result, ran 5 stop signs, 3 stop lights, almost ran over an 85-year old in a wheelchair, crashed into 2 fences, cursed at 17 police officers, and did 95 in a 20 mph school zone. As a result from _that_...

"What do you mean I failed!?" She screamed to the guy at the front desk. "There's no way! I did everything right!" **In Texas, maybe.**

"Everything right!? Miss, you ran 5 stop signs, 3 stop lights, nearly ran over an 85-year old, destroyed 2 fences, swore at 17 officers, and did 95 in a school zone."

"So!? I still should've passed from the written part!"

"Written part? OK, I didn't want to have to show you this, but--" He handed her her written test paper, and she horribly discovered that she had gotten almost every single question wrong. **The only one she actually got right was "Put Name Here", and she even spelled her last name wrong.** "Out of 100, you got...7."

"What!? Now wait a minute...I donated $5 to the Hope for Haiti telethon!" **That's the equivalent to an Extra-Large coffee at Dunkin' Donuts.** "Shouldn't I get extra credit for that!?" **No.**

"Yes." **No! **"I added that. Otherwise your grade would've been...3." **The number of terms Mayor Bloomberg has.**

**Not even my father did that poorly when he tried to renew his license. At least he was able to get double digits...even if it was only a 12.** "OK, fine, then I guess I'll just take the test again." Linda reached out to take another test paper.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the heck do you think you're doing!?" **Cheating.**

"Taking the test again!"

"You can't just reach out and take another test paper just like that! You have to fill out the registration form again, take another number, wait for your number to be called, where you will be administered the written test & driving test, and only then if you pass can you receive a new license."

"But...but...oh fine!" She took a registration form instead, along with a number, waiting for her number to be called.

"82!!" The guy at the desk shouted at the top of his lungs, enraging Linda even more. She looked at her number, and growled psychotically, as her number was revealed to be 285.

"285!?" **Not even our water bills were that high.** She marched back up to the front desk and yelled at the front guy. "You expect me to wait for another 203 people to go before I can have my turn!?"

"That's right. Either you wait it out or come back another day."

"But...my license expires today."

"Then you should've thought of that before you waited until the last minute. NEXT!!"

Linda was ready to pop his head like a zit, but unfortunately, he was right. Linda procrastinated renewing her license for some reason, and now because of it, she was unleashing her paranoia on him. As she walked back to her seat, sh ebegan to reflect on the times Candace flipped out like she did just now. **Which was pretty much every day.** She then also began to reflect on her past, where she and Lawrence would constantly get into fights because Linda was once a control had to be done her way or the highway. It was tormenting for everybody, and even her family feared her. But she cooled down after plenty of intense therapy. Unfortunately, Candace had picked up on her ways and that is why she now despises her brothers and their "stupid, dumb, and annoying" projects. **So to sum it up, this is all Linda's fault.**

* * *

Meanwhile, back with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he and Pinky were still trapped in their giant bubble, struggling to get out. "Well, this is certainly...quite a setback..." Doofenshmirtz said to Pinky. "Now we're both trapped in my virtually unbreakable bubble, and we have no way of calling for help or anything. Oh, I fear we're going to be stuck in here for a long, long time. Oh boy, that's a real good story to tell my kids: I was stuck in a bubble with my "nemesis" for 3 days." **It's better than being stuck with your ex-wife.**

But as Doofenshmirtz's hope faded for a miracle, a miracle came. Perry the Platypus came in and managed to pop the giant bubble from the outside using a fence post (probably one that was broken off by Linda). As the doctor and Pinky fell to the ground, they both couldn't help but be excited. "Hooray, we are free! I cannot believe it, but we are free--" Dr. Doofenshmirtz turned around to celebrate when he saw his real nemesis standing there. "Perry the Platypus! Oh my goodness, _you_freed us! Thank you, Perry the Platy--" Before he could finish thanking his nemesis, Perry jumped him and started giving him a beating. Pinky soon joined in and by the time they were done, Doofenshmirtz was bruised all over. After that, they decided to take their leave. "Curse you, Pinky the Chihuahua!! Oh, and you too, Perry the Platypus!" The doctor tried to stand up.

He dusted himself off and looked out his window as the two secret agents flew away. "Boy, for a semi-aquatic mammal and a jittery little pest, those two suure know how to do somebody in. I bet they'd be great in a karate dojo." **As long as their onwers clean up after them.**

* * *

**While Linda was busy getting her license, and that old scientist guy was busy having a mid-life crisis, Phineas was busy sulking back at home. **Phineas took a seat on the living room couch rejectedly, now back in his regular sumer clothes. Apparently, he had ditched his cool clothes. Isabella and Ferb were by his side. "It's OK, Phineas. You tried your best. I guess today your best wasn't good enough." Isabella tried to comfort him.

"Yeah, I gueess so. Still, it would've felt so good to beat that gang at Battleship." **Wait a minute! WAIT! A! MINUTE! Pause! Did I hear that correctly!? Battleship!? All that buildup for one lousy game of battleship!? Jeez, the ghetto's certainly gone down hill since I was a kid! For the love of -- Battleship. I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life!**

"Well, you know that old saying: You win some, you lose some."

"Yeah. Well, that's it. I am hanging up my leather jacket for good." **I think you already did. **"No way am I ever going back to the ghetto. I mean, that spells nothing but trouble." **Tell that to Malvo.**

"Well, if it means anything...you _were_kinda cute in your leather jacket. But I am glad to have the old Phineas back." SHe reached in a hugged her boyfriend, and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm glad I'm back, too. It's hard to be one with the ghetto." **For white people.**

"You don't need to be "one with the ghetto" to be cool. Your life is fine just the way it is."

"It's not just fine. It's perfect." He then kissed her. "You know what, you're right. I don't need the ghetto!" At that moment there was some distant knocking on his door and his window. They walked to the front door and went outside, and saw everybody outside in leather jackets and leather pants. **But apparently, the ghetto needs you.**

:Phineas! Come back! Teach us all you know about black people!" One guy shouted.

"Yeah, dude! We're hopelessly clueless! My son is black, too!" **The irony is, the father is white.**

"We must aquire more knowledge of the ghetto!! You must teach us everything you know!!"

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella stared out to the crowd in shock. They were wondering what the heck was going on. "Guys, guys! I'm not ghetto anymore! I'm done with the ghetto! I just want to go back to being regular old Phineas Flynn!"

"Yeah! So go home, you bozos!" **I haven't seen an angry mob this cheery since the protests involving the Virginia Tech shooting.**

"I learned a lot of stuff during my time in the ghetto. But I never, ever want to go back to that again."

"Well, what did you learn?" **Yeah, what _did_ you learn in your time mocking me?**

"Well..."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the driving Institute, Linda was forced to wait patiently for 203 people to go in front of her to get their driver's licenses. Though it was tough at first, she knew that if she wanted to drive home, she had to wait it out. So to pass the time, she decided to read a book, do crossword puzzles, stuff like that. It distracted her from all the waiting.

"116!!"

But as people kept going up, and as her number drew just a little bit closer, the overwhelming feeling of boredom began to consume her.

"139!!"

She felt likejust walking out the door at times and walking home unable to wait out any longer. The truth of the matter, though, was, it was actually only 2:00 in the afternoon. Yeah, 2 in the afternoon. Amazing, right? And the Institution didn't close until 10. There was still 8 hours for her to wait out her turn. With that in mind, she kept waiting there, reading her "Harry Potter" books.

"172!"

After she was done reading, Linda decided to close her eyes for a few minutes while other numbers passed her. Since her number was 285, she figured she wouldn't be called up for several hours. So she put her book away, crossed her arms, slid slightly down her chair, closed her eyes, and fell asleep. Her plan was to just sleep until her number was called. But...well, let's just say that plan went downhill. **In otherwords, she shouldn't have stayed up until 3 in the morning last night watching "As the World Turns".**

Several hours passed. By the time that Linda's number was called... "285!!" Linda was fast asleep, snoring in her chair, and drooling. "285!!!" Mr. Harper called again. This time, Linda opened her eyes halfway, but closed them again quickly. After that she went back to sleep and started snoring again. "LAST CALL FOR 285!!!!" **I don't care if Professor Snape just killed Dumbledore! Last call means last call!**

* * *

"And that, my friends, is what I learned during my time beign "one witht he ghetto." Phineas wrapped up his explaination to the people in his front yard. They listened very carefully for the couple of hours it took Phineas to recap his entire day as a street thug.

"Wow...that must've been really rough for you."

"Oh it was. I don't know how those guys do it. They have to act tough, talk tough, walk tough, and they have to beat up little girls." **Since when do we do that!? **"And the worst part of it was...I almost dragged all of my friends down that path, too. And that's a mistake I'm never making again." He leaned in towards Isabella and gave her a big hug, and was rewarded with "aww's" from everybody.

"Wow...who knew that the ghetto was dangerous?" **Kim Cardashian.**

"Come on everybody. Let's go trash our leather jackets and go back to being normal people." With that, everybody who had gathered at the front yard of Phineas's house took their leave to return to their lives. It was also at that moment that their father, Lawrence, pulled up in the driveway and entered the house to greet the kids.

"Hello, kids. How was your day?" He said as the three kids ran up to him and hugged him.

"It was OK, dad."

"What happened to your leather jacket?"

"I decided to hang it up for good. The ghetto is a dangerous place to live in, and us white guys are just not meant to be part of the ghetto."

"Where's your mother?"

"I don't know? She still hasn't come home from renewing her license yet."

"Oh well. It must be pretty busy there today. Now, what do you say we all go out for some pizza for dinner?"

"Pizza? Cool! What are we waiting for!?"

"I don't know! Let's go!" So the four of them walked outside back to Lawrence's car, where they strapped in, and took a drive over to the Danville Pizza Parlor. Along the way they passed by the Driving Institutiion, and they peaked inside the window. They were all surprised to see Linda still inside the waiting area, still fast aleep. By now, they were serving #333, way past Linda's number.

"Hey, that's mom!" Phineas shouted.

"Oh dear. She fell asleep _again_, and now she's probably missed her chance. Every year she falls asleep while waiting to be called. As a result, she has to wait until another avaliable time to renew her license."

"Wow. That must be frustrating to her." Nobody saw this, but while they had stopped their car to peer at Linda, Pinky and Perry managed to open the passenger doors of the car and sit by their respective owners. They made their speaking noises to show that they were there. Phineas and Isabella looked down and saw their pets, and spoke at the same time. "Oh, there you are Perry/Pinky."

After that, they continued driving towards the Pizza Parlor to enjoy some dinner. Meanwhile, a tall, slender African American man entered the Driving Institution, hoping to get his license renewed. "Excuse me, good sir?" He said poudly to the guy at the front desk. "I'd like to renew my liceense please. I'm in a bit of a rush, so could you...uh, make this quick?" The man handed Mr. Harper a $20 dollar bill, which he graciously took. Of course, he didn't take the bribe. Just the cash.

Mr. Harper simply stared at him for a moment, and then reached down into his desk and pulled out a poster, and stuck it on the counter in front of him. The sign had a piocture of Chris Rock and it read "Do Not Allow on Premesis". "Oh come on! So I accidentally ran over one of your employees!"

"That employee was my cousin, bub! Now get out before I call the cops!"

The man, knowing their was now ay he was getting his licesne, sulked and walked out the door, eyeing the snoring Linda for a moment, scoffing, and then walking out. **After my experience in Danville, I learned two very important lessons: 1) The ghetto is constantly evolving. It's not like it used to be back in my day, 'cause now kids are getting into with it; and 2) Phineas Flynn does looks GOOD in leather pants.**

**_Everybody Hates Chris!!_**

**End of Episode 8!**

**Sorry it took so long for me to update this! I'ver been busy with my other stories and midterms. Hope you enjoy it! Oh, and let me know if you ever want me to do another Everyboddy Hates Chris-based episode. I just love doing them!**

**Next Time: Part 1 of a 2-part episode: Phineas and Ferb create a device that can stop time. But when Doofenshmirtz has the same idea, chaos and despair ensures.**

**Expected Update: Now that midterms are over, I might be able to update more quickly. So look for the next episode anytime after February 15th.**


	11. 9: Phineas and Ferb! Warped!

****

Phineas and Ferb

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 9: Phineas and Ferb! Warped! (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: In order to make the most out of a summer day, Phineas and Ferb build a device that can stop time. But little do they, and Perry, know that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has the same idea so he can take over the Tri-State Area in the blink of an eye. And if that wasn't bad enough, just imagine what happens when both of their plans intertwine. Plus, after discovering something shocking in Commandant Spangler's office, Canfdace sees this as a perfect opportunity to get out of the school, go after her mother, and finally bust her brothers.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_**

* * *

**_It was a brand new morning in the Tri-State Area. Everybody in the Flynn-Fletcher Family was awakening, ready to seize the day, especially young Phineas, who had a lot to handle today, more than usual, which is really saying something.

He rose up slowly from his bed, looked out the window and saw the sun shining over his room. He tore a page off of his hannd-held calender, revealing the date. It was July 1st, the first day of a new summer month. "Hey, Ferb! Wake up!" He rushed over to his sleeping stepbrother and shook him violently. "We're burning daylight here! Come on!"

Ferb sat up too and the two ran into their closet and changed into their regular clothes. Then they rushed downstairs where their breakfasts, eggs and bacon, were waiting for them. "Morning, mom! Morning, dad!"

"Morning, boys. How'd you sleep? Linda asked them.

"Pretty good. By the way, when did you get home?"

"Late last night. I spent all day getting my licesne. I fell asleep and missed my appointment. But don't worry. I got it worked out, and look," She took out her drivers license, her new drivers license.

"Cool!"

"So what are you two planning to do today?"

"Hmm, we're not so sure. We've got plenty of ideas, but we have no idea which one we should do first."

"Well the day is young. I'm sure you'll think of something."

"I'm sure I will, too."

"As for your father and I, I'm going to run the antique store and your father's going to stay home and pay some bills."

"Alright mom. Thanks." Putting aside their breakfast dishes, the two stepbrothers raced outside to sit under their big oak tree and think of a project to do today.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Commandant Edwin Spangler's Military School, Candace was in her room, laying on her bed, thinking. She would be spending her time in The Hole right now, but, she managed to cut a deal with Spangler, and instead of spending a week in The Hole, she now has to spend the week cleaning up the school, and her food privelages were fully restored. But for today, she was busy tidying up his office while he is away. He was away at a "Military School Officers Convention" for the day, and she entrusted Candace (more like demanded her) to keep his office spotless and make sure everything was there when he got back.

_(Cue Flashback)_

_"Candace Flynn, report to Commandant Spangler's office at once." A voice over the loudspeaker roared._

_Candace looked over at Tara and gulped. "What do ya think he wants."_

_"I don't know. He doesn't really call for people over the loudspeaker. He usually does that if they're really in trouble. Good luck."_

_Candace slowly made her way to Commandant Spangler's office. The officer was sitting at his desk, waiting for her. "Um, hello?"_

_"Have a seat, Flynn." He said firmly, but calmly. Candace immediately obeyed, taking a seat across from him in the empty chair. The two of them remained silent for at least a minute before Spangler spoke again. "Now, Ms. Flynn, do you know why I called you in?"_

_"NO...but I'm assuming I'm in some kind of trouble."_

_Spangler chuckled. "Oh, you're not in trouble." Candace's eyes opened widely in surprise. Spangler stood up from his desk and started strolling leisurely around his office. "From the report I read about you when you first enrolled here--"_

_"More like I was dragged here." Candace said quietly so he wouldn't hear her._

_"It seems to me that you take great pride in keeping things in line; in order, if you will."_

_"Why yes, I do. I always hate it when my brothers annoy me with their crazy antics because it disturbs everyone around them, including me!"_

_"Actually, it appears that the only one who is frustrated with their antics is you, and frankly, I don't understand why."_

_"Well, sir, with all due respect, you'd probably understand better if you spent a day in my shoes."_

_Commandant Spangler stared down Candace for a moment. She was afraid she offended him. "Well, I just might do that someday. Someday, but not today. Anyway, the reason I have called you down is because I have a Military School Officers convention to go to today and I need someone to watch over my office while I'm away. And since you like things to be in order just as much as I do, I think that person should be you."_

_"Y-You do?"_

_"Of course. I mean, you have good intentions. Your actions, however, are absolutely horrific. But, I believe this will be good for you. Think of it this way: You'll finally be able to put the very little talents you have to good use." Candace cringed. "Now, I will be gone from 6 AM to 4 PM. I expect you to dust the shelves, vaccum the floor, and clean the windows, and have everything exactly the way it is by the time I return. Do not touch anything, do not take anything out of my book shelves, but most of all...do not, DO NOT!" He pointed to one of his drawers by his file cabinet near the window. "OPEN! THAT! DRAWER! Do you understand me!? Under no circumstances are you to open that drawer."_

_Candaced flinched for a moment and then looked at the drawer, and then at Spangler's face. She could tell he was dead serious about the drawer. "Y-Yes sir. I-I understand loud and clear!"_

_"Good. Now, at ease, private." With that, he saluted her, and walked out the door, off to his convention. He didn't even bother to look back at Candace. If he did, he would've seen that she was already sitting in his chair, reading a magazine and laughing._

_(End Flashback)_

She was busy dusting the shelves when her "friend", Tara, came in, looking for her. "There you are, Candace. Where've you been? You missed breakfast."

"What? Why didn't you come get me!?"

"'Cause it was "Bacon and Eggs" day. You know they only do that once a month! I'm lucky if I get one serving! Here, I brought you some bacon." Tara took out three strips of bacon and handed them to Candace. She took a huge bite out of one of them. "So what's up? What did Spangler want to see you about?"

"He asked me to watch over his office while he's away for the day!"

"A-Are you serious!? Why would he entrust _you_ to such an important task like this?"

"He says that I can finally put my skills of wanting everything to be in order to good use. Yeah, all he asked was that I didn't look in that drawer." She pointed to the drawer Commandant Spangler specifically told her not to look in. Both girls took a good look at each other.

* * *

Back at home...

"OK, Ferb, what do we have for today?" Ferb brought out a bunch of blueprints for Phineas to take a look at. "Hmm, let's see, here. We have "Play in the NHL"? Nope. "Teach Perry tricks"? Nuh-uh. "End World Hunger"? No way. Man! We have so many good ideas, but I don't know which one we should do first. And I also really want to spend some alone time with Isabella today."

As if on cue, Isabella walked into the backyard. "Hey Phineas." She said cheerfully as she took a seat under the tree next to Phineas, and hugged him tightly. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"We don't know yet. We have a lot of good ideas, but we're not exactly sure which one we should do. And we're not exactly sure what we should do first. Plus, we don't want to waste too much time because the day goes by so fast and before we know it, it's going to be nighttime."

"Well, what have you got so far?" Phineas handed her the blue prints and sketches they had so far. She looked over them and then looked at Phineas again. "Ahh, I see why you guys are stuck. These are great ideas."

"Man, I wish there was more time in the day. Then we could do all of these great ideas today and still have time to do other things."

"Phineas, have you considered taking a lazy day and starting fresh tomorrow? I think you could use one."

"We have. But we did that last summer."

"There's no shame in doing it this summer, too."

"We already have, remember? We all decided to sleep in one day because of that stupid slumber party."

"That was different."

"I know. But I don't feel like taking a day off. There's still so much we haven't done yet, and we're not gonna be kids forever."

"Why don't you built robot versions of yourself to--"

"We did that last summer, too."

"And that turned out to be one of our worst ideas ever." Ferb added.

"What else is there that we can do? I mean, it's not like we can just build a device that can stop time or...hey, wait a minute. Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" His stepbrother gave him a thumbs up. "Alright, then. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today. Come on, Isabella, you can help."

"What are we gonna do?"

"You'll see soon enough. Hey, wait, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry aka Agent P was on top of the Flynn-Fletcher roof. He jumped in and slid down the chimney right down into his secret lair. When he arrived, he was surprised to see that his lair was completely in shambles. His walls was destroyed, many of his gadgets were missing, even his screen was cracked. But it was still working, so he was able to communicate with Monogram.

"Good morning, Agent P. I apologize for the mess in your lair. That rogue agent, Dennis, broke into your secret lair last night, and Carl and I had to go in and stop him ourselves since all of our other agents had gone home. The problem was, Carl and I...well, we were a bit too reckless. As a result, he destroyed some of your walls, crushed some of your gadgets, and...well, we think one of the windows might be broken as well. Anyway, because of the damage, we hired all of our resources to come and fix up your lair later today. Plus, we've also taken the liberty to fix all of the gadgets that were broken during the hastle. Of course, that also means that we have failed to send out our sources to find out what Doofenshmirtz is up to so you can go stop him. But, fear not. We have a theory."

"After reviewing several video tapes capturings the events that your owners, Phineas and Ferb, have done during last summer, and all of Doofenshmirtz's schemes from last summer, we have come to the conclusion that whatever plan your owners come up with always seems to disappear because of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plan. It's a repeating pattern, and if it were any other day, then I would say that it is very annoying. But today, it just might be the key to stopping him. Your mission, Agent P, is to spy on your owners. If you can figure out what they're up to, perhaps we can figure out what Doofenshmirtz is up to. Good luck."

Perry saluted his boss gracefully and went over to his gadget area to get his jetpack. But, he noticed that his jetpack was missing. Clearly, it was another one of his gadgets that was "broken", so he simply ran out the usual way. That did, though, entail several flights of stairs, which left him exhausted when he got to the top. (**Got Game?**)

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the military school, Candace and Tara were hanging out in their room. Tara was reading a magazine, and Candace was lying leisurely on her bed. Tara looked over at her roommate, and immediately knew she was a bit edgy today. "Aren't you the least bit curious as to what COmmandant Spangler's hiding in that drawer?"

"N-No, not really." Candace lied.

"Candace, we've known each other for over a week now. I can tell when you're lying. You really wanna know what he's hiding, don't you?"

"Well...a little, but I gave my word that I wouldn't go and look in that drawer while he's away."

"Look, he's obviously hiding something, and he wants you to find out about it."

"But why? Why would he deliberately tell me not to open it if he wanted me to open it in the first place?"

"It's reverse psychology. Look, when parents leave older siblings in charge of younger siblings for a night, and they tell them specifically _not_ to do something, they usually want them to do it. And more times than not, the older sibling's curiosity will consume them, and they will disobey they're parents' orders. But normally, they end up learning a valuable lesson from it. My dad did it with me all the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. At first I thought it was just him being mean to me but once the important lessons started coming up, I realized that all he was doing was trying to protect me and prepare me for life. And now, I'm a vibrant, youg, pretty 18 year old girl ready to serve her country in her father's honor."

"Wait, so you _willingly_ enrolled in this death trap?"

"Of course! See, my father was a Vietnam survivor. He was remembered as one of the greatest American heroes of all time. He single-handedly saved over 50 of his troop members at once, taking bullet wounds for all of them."

"Wow..."

"Yep. After he came home, he married my mother, had me, and then died when I turned 12."

"Ooh, sorry about that."

"It was only after he died that I learned about his life in the military. After that day, I swore that I would continue his legacy and help our country out in the war in Iraq. I just have to graduate from here first. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that Spangler is trying to test you. You know, with that whole drawer thing. He did the exact same thing with me during my first week here."

"He did?"

"Yep. He said he was going to one of those all-day conventions, and he asked me to watch over his office and not to look in his drawer."

"And?"

"I didn't. I went 10 hours without looking in that drawer. No, I just spent the day tidying up his office until he got back."

"That's it?"

"Well, yeah. He said that I didn't want to open up that drawer because I had learned self-control. He does this with all of his new cadets. He makes up dumb lessons such as "discipline", or "self-control" or even "orderly conduct" as to why the cadet is perfect for the job -- althought I think he might've gotten you right by accident."

"He was sure right about you, 'cause you have way more self-control than I do. As for me, I'm going to open that drawer!" Candace screamed, standing up, and running out of her room towards Spangler's office. Tara got up and ran after her.

"Candace, wait!! You don't know what you're doing!"

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas and Ferb were busy. Busy working on a new device that would help them get all of their projects done in one day. "And...it's done!" He held up what looked like a regular old stopwatch.

"What is it?"

"Presenting our newest invention, the Clockstopper!"

"But that looks like a regular old stopwatch."

"Oh, but it isn't. With this thing, we'll be able to stop time at will so we could have as many adventures as we want in a single day and in reality, only a minute would have passed."

"But Phineas, it's scientifically impossible to stop time itself. Baljeet said so"

"So? If Baljeet said that it was impossible for our economy to fall, would you believe him?"

"What are you talking about, Phineas?"

"Nevermind."

"In accordance with a film of the same name, this device does not phsyically stop time. Rather, it speeds up the molecules of the person who activated it, along with anybody who is in contact with that person, thereby giving them the impression that time has stopped when in reality, those affected are just moving at a speed faster than light." Ferb explained to her.

"Oh...that...that doesn't make any sense."

"Here. We'll give you a demonstration. Grab on to me." Ferb and Isabella both put their hands on Phineas, who was holding the stopwatch. (While Ferb simply put his hand on his arm, Isabella wrapped her arms around Phineas's neck, which he didn't mind, though.) Phineas pressed the button on top of it, and instantly, everything around them seemed to freeze up. The birds that were flying in the sky stood still in the air, the car that was passing yb their house froze...basically everything stopped in their tracks.

Isabella looked completely starstruck, gazing at everything completely stopped. "Oh my gosh...nothing's moving. Nothing except us, of course."

"Yep."

"Wow. You guys actually did it! You figured out how to stop time...sort of."

"Yes. Yes we did."

"You know, you guys really amazing me. There's nothing you can't do."

"That's right. And now that we're in hyperspace, we have all the time in the world to do the projects we want to, and after that--" He looked over at his girlfriend, who gave him a nice peck on his cheek. "We can have all the time in the world to ourselves, Isabella."

"I like the sound of that." She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder, the two of them giggling. "So, what are we going to do first?"

"Why don't we go see what Danville is like in hyperspace?"

"That sounds like fun."

"Alright then. let's go." He used his time-stopping device again, and everything resumed.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Isabel,la asked as tey started walking into town.

"What? Making ourselves move faster than the speed of light takes up a lot of power. We don't know how long we can stay in hyperspace with this thing, so we don't want to take a chance." Phineas explained to her. Before the three were out of sight, Perry caught sight of them from behind the house. He was amazed that they had gone from the front lawn to the middle of the street, since he wasn't in hyperspace with them nor did he know about it. But since it was his job to figure out what they were up to, he jotted down their actions, and then quickly proceeded to follow them on foot...until he got tired, where he decided to follow them with his grappling hook, one of the few of his gadgets that wasn't destroyed.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the military school, Candace was back in Spangler's office, and was about to open up the secret drawer Spangler told her not to open. Tara came in seconds later and pulled her back considerable. "Candace, no!!"

"I gotta know what he's hiding, Tara! I've just gotta know!" Candace said crazily, panting hysterically trying to get out of Tara's grip.

"You can't!"

"Why not!?" She asked before finally calming down enough to be able to tell that Tara was serious with this.

"Because the last girl that did look in that drawer...ooh, let's just say her life was never the same."

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember when I say that he gives this test to all of his new recruits? Well, I wasn't kidding. He really does. But most of the time, they pass. But the one girl that didn't? Well...after he kicked her out of this school, he started dating her mother, and then the two eventually got married."

"So...so you're saying _he_ became _her_ father?"

"Yep. That's right. And she became so distraught that she ran away and now lives somewehre in Antarctica. He divorced her mother 2 weeks later."

"Ouch. That-That's just wrong. That's wrong in so many ways."

"I know! Do you want that to happen to be you!?"

"No...I guess not...but, what if he's hiding something about Phineas and Ferb rather than me?"

"What do you mean?"

"He told that he was very fond of my brothers because they always liked to express themselves and they were never afraid to "think outside the box" or "push boundaries". I have no idea what he meant by that, but maybe, just maybe, he has some photos of Phineas and Ferb's past adventures, and then, I can use those old photos to finally bust them to my mom! Then, she'll have no choice to apologize to me! Then she'll become my eternal slave for life, along with those two rascalls! Finally, they'll be forced to act like NORMAL CHILDREN!"

The girl began to laugh like a hyena, which utterly creeped Tara out. After a couple of minutes of laughter, Candace was able to calm herself down. "Or...maybe they're just old photos of himself and he doesn't want anyone else to see them."

"Candace pondered on that thought for a moment. "Yeah...I'm gonna go with my idea, because it sounds better."

"Not when you say it." Tara said under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Go on."

The red head turned to the drawer and saw that there was a number lock on the handle.. "Oh man! It's locked! How am I ever going to guess the right numbers before he gets back?"

"Oh that's easy. 317." Tara said instantly, to which Candace looked back at her and raised a suspicious eyebrow, rather than dropping her jaw. "His birthday."

"What? You mean, like, the year he was born?"

"March 17th!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh..." Tara rolled her eyes and slapped herself mentally. "OK, let's do it." Candace kneeled down and entered the numbers into the lock, and sure enough, the lock opened. Thoguht she was eager to get it open and look inside, she was also a bit uneasy. What is Tara was right? What if if was just old photos of him and there was absolutely nothing she could use to bust Phineas and Ferb? Then Spangler would know she had opened his drawer, and then she would be in so much trouble. No. No she had to do it. It was now or never.

She slowly pulled the handle on the drawer and slowly pulled it open. The first thing she saw in the drawer was a bunch of pictures lying around. They were all face down so Candace couldn't see right away what they were pictures of, but that didn't stop her from pulling some out. And once she took a good look at them, she couldn't believe her own eyes. She gasped, dropped her jaw, and looked up at Tara.

* * *

In Danville, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were in hyperspace again and taking a trip around the Tri-State Area to see what everybody was up to, and they didn't have to worry about being spotted. "Wow...everything looks so beautiful in hyperspace." Isabella said as they passed by the golf course.

"Yeah."

Soon they passed by an old abandoned Toy Store. It was on the verge of going out of business because it was so run down, dirty, and the employees & manager had given up on trying to make it better. "Wow, the old Danville Toy Store." Phineas remarked seeing the sign that said "Going out of business". "I can't believe it's going out of business. And it's been around since I was a baby."

"Where else will children get their toys from? There isn't another Toy Store around in the Tri-State Area!" Isabella said. While the three kids were talking, they were well unaware of the fact that Perry was still hot on their trail, and now he had finally caught up with them.

"I say we should fix up this place for them."

"But Phineas, you know how the manaager is. He's so stubborn he hasn't called a repairman, a plumber, an electrician, or even a delivery guy since he's opened this place up!"

"Well, Isabella, that's his own fault. But we can't let this place die just because of his giant ego. Kids need toys in order to survive! And the best part is...the store owner will never be the wiser." Phineas held up the stopwatch, giving them a hint of their plan. "Come on." He went to press the button on his device, but as he did, Perry managed to grab onto Phineas's leg, so when the three friends were taken to hyperspace, so was Perry.

At first, Perry was shocked to see that everything around him was frozen while he was moving at an extremely fast pace. He was so shocked that he had to type up all of his observations on his labtop, another one of the gadgets that wasn't broken, and then send them to his boss for analysis. After that, he proceeded to follow Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, who quickly got started tearing down the old building, and then went out in search for things that could help them.

They eventually came across a warehouse that had everything they needed: bricks, hammers, nails, screws, screwdrivers, everything anybody could possbily think of to build something. The kids grabbed everything they could and started making their way back to where the toy store once stood. They had to make several trips, but snce they were in hyperspace, only a few seconds passed in real time.

Eventually, they were able to reconstruct the toy store, but on a higher scale, and they redecorated the interior and exterior to make it more festive. Once they were done with that, and they were satisfied with the way the toy store looked, they returned to normal time. Along the way, Perry was making notes of all of Phineas and Ferb's actions, so when he returned to normal, he made sure to make a note of that and send it to his boss.

When the owner of the store came out of his office to open the store for business, he was shocked to see that it was completely remodeled. He came out to see the exterior of it, and was completely shaken. He was angry that people had decided to change the store he had been in business with for years. "What!? WHat the--I-Igah!! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MONSTROCITY!?" He roared into the opens kies, not even noticing Phineas and Ferb and Isabella standing there.

"Uh...we are, sir." Phineas said casually, which made the store owner rush right over to him and pick him up by his shirt collar.

"YOU...YOU...How could you do this to me!?"

"What!?"

"How could you ruin the last thing that I truly care about other than my wife!?"

"But...you haven't had that many customers in years. We were just trying to help you. I mean your old store was all run-down and dirty."

"It's a family business! I promised I wouldn't change anything about it! And if you think you're gonna get away with this, you've got another thing..." He started to lose steam when he noticed that tons of people were starting to pile into the store, and were now spending tons of money on toys for their children and for themselves. THe man was dumbfounded, and all of his threats to Phineas suddenly left his mind. "Oh my...customers! Actual customers!"

"Yeah! We knew that if you redocarated your store, you would get more customers. But we also knew you were too thick--" He didn't get to finish his sentece, as the man dropped Phineas onto the ground and ran back into his store to deal with the many new customers he had. "-headed."

"Hmph. He seemed to be in a rush." Isabella remarked.

"I'm sure he wants to tend to his many new customers."

"Either that, or he wants to shoo them away and be alone with the trainwreck that was once his toystore." Ferb commented.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the military school...

"I can't believe this." Candace quivered, looking through the many pictures she found. "I can't believe this! I cannot believe that...my own mother was MARRIED TO SPANGLER!!" The pictures Candace had were wedding photos of Commandant Edwin Spangler and Linda. All kinds of pictures were there -- the wedding, the kiss, the reception, Spangler carrying Linda down the threshold.

Tara was just as shocked as Candace was. "This-This is just crazy!"

"I know! Why didn't my mom ever tell me that she was married to him!?"

"I'm not sure, but this might explain why she decided to put you in this military school in the first place."

"You think so?"

"I mean, I know you have a strained relationship with your brothers, but come on! All brothers and sisters fight at some point. That's no reason to put you in here."

"You know something? You are absolutely right. My mom didn't put me in here because I was mean to Phineas and Ferb! She put me in here because she's...she's..." She gasped. "She's still in love with Spangler!! OH my god!! I wonder if my dad knows!"

"Well, if he doesn't know, and you expose this to your family, he's probably gonna leave her."

"But I kinda like my dad. The last thing I would want is for him to split up from my mom, especially after he already forgot their anniversary once. But..."

"But..."

"Maybe, just maybe, I can use these photos to blackmail my mom. Yeah! Yeah, I can threaten to show dad these photos of her and Spangler, and then she'll have to listen to me about all those projects I told her of Phineas and Ferb!! Yes!! It's all so perfect! There's absolutely no way that this plan is gonna fail! A ha ha ha ha!"

Tara blinked or a few seconds, waiting for Candace to cool down. When she finally did, Tara spoke up. "Umm, there _is_ one problem, though. You're still trapped here. And the last time you attempted to escape, you failed."

"And that plan was so foolproof!"

"How do you expect to show your mom those photos if you can't even get out of here?"

"Hmmm...you do bring up a good point. Maybe I can get mom to come up here so I can bust HER! Then, I can blackmail her into busting the boys! I gotta call her!" She rushed out of her room over to the pay phone, and started dialing her home phone number.

"Hello?"

"MOM! MOM!! GET OVER HERE NO--wait, dad?" Her stepdad, Lawrence, was on the other line.

"Yes, honey. It's so good to hear from you again."

"Is mom there? I have something really important to tell her."

"Well, she's not here at the moment. She's watching over the antique store. If you like, I could--"

Candace hung up right then and there. Then she dialed the number to her family's antique store. Linda took a few rings before she could answer. "Flynn-Fletcher Antiques. How can I help you?"

"Mom!!"

"Oh hi, Candace. I wasn't expecting a call from you."

"Mom! I need you to get over here right away! I have something important to show you!"

"Candace, I can't just leave. I'm running an antique store."

"Mom, I think your gross little antique store can wait for a little while! This is big."

"No, Candace. Look, I'm closing down in a few hours, so I'll come by then. And my antique store is not gross!"

"Oh, I've seen it, mom! It's gross! Now come over here and see these pictures!"!"

"I've made up my mind, Candace."

"Oh really!?" Now Candace was pushed too far. "I don't think so, Linda Flynn!! Or...should I say...LINDA SPANGLER!!!"

Linda, on the other line, gasped in shock as she heared the words "Linda Spangler". She could not believe that Candace had said that to her.

"Mom!? Mom!? Hey!! Are you still there!? I'm not done talking to you yet!!" After yelling at her mom, Candace heard a clicking sound and then a monotone, indicating that Linda had hung up. "I can't beleive it. She hung up on me!!" Candace hung up her phone in anger and frustration.

"So now what are you going to do?" Tara asked her.

"Well, if mom won't come to the evidence, then I'll just have to bring the evidence to mom."

"But you couldn't even escape the last time you tried."

"Well, then, this time, I'm going to have to try hardre! Because mark my words, this time, I am going to get out of this darned school, bust my brothers, and finally expose them and my mom for the filthy frauds they are!!"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go have some lunch before you totally creep my appetite out." Tara slowly started tip-toing away from Candace to the cafeteria.

* * *

In Danville, it was now 2:00 in the afternoon. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella had accomplished what they wanted to accomplish, so they decided to head back to their house and hang out. The two brothers decided to set up a hammock between the two tall trees in their backyard and relax in it along with Isabella. It was big enough to fit all three of them comfortably.

"Man, what an awesome day." Phineas said as he turned on his stopwatch and took all three of them into hyperspace so they could have as much to themseves as they wanted. "And it's not even half over yet. Now we can do whatever else we want until sundown."

"But right now, I'm in the mood to just lay here and relax with you guys." Isabella said, resting herself comfortably on her side of the hammock.

"Yeah, me too." Phineas got comfortable laying with Isabella.

"You know, Phineas, you amaze me every single day. I-I just don't know how you and Ferb do it. You defy the impossible al the time, and no matter what, you never lie, you never cheat, you never steal, you're just an out-of-the-ordinary kid who loves adventure, and you'll stop at nothing to get it. I guess that's why I fell in love with you in the first place. So tell me, what made you fall in love with me, Phineas? Phineas?" She looked to her side and saw that Phineas was actually asleep. He was out cold. She gently shook him awake. He blinked a few times and opened his eyes, looking up at a sincere Isabella.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must've dozed off." He said genuinely, rubbing his eyes awake. "I-I guess I could've used that lazy day after all."

Isabella kissed Phineas on his cheek and then snuggled up to him as he closed his eyes again. "You know, you're cute when you're asleep."

"So are you."

"Why don't you go back to sleep. These past few days have been hard on you."

"You sure Isabella?"

"Sure I'm sure. I'm your girlfriend, after all. So it's my job to make sure that you're OK. I mean, if something ever happened to you, I don't know what I would do. So if I think you should get some more sleep, I think you should listen to me."

"You know, I love how you're always looking out for my well-being, Isabella. And that's one of the many, many things that I love about you."

"Well, I know you've been running ragged these past few days, so I just want to make sure you're going to be alright."

"Don't worry about it. I will be." He kissed her once more before he layed back down, this time on a pillow that Isabella supplied for him. She offered Ferb a pillow too, and even gave herself one, and in moments, all of them were asleep, resting comfortably, recovering from the stress they endured from the past few days. Of course what Phineas didn't realize was that he had accidentally sat on his creation, so he pressed the button and returned them to normal time.

Meanwhile, Perry was watching them closely for the time they were asleep. They stayed asleep for about 2 hours before Perry received a call from his boss, Monogram. "Agent P, we've looked over all of the information you've given us today, and we've come to two conclusions: 1) Doofenshmirtz is planning to reverse the Earth's rotation to change history and take over Danville. But since he's already tried that, we're gonna go with conclusion #2) Doofenshmirtz is building a time-stopping device so he can take ovver the Tri-State Area in the blink of an eye. Whatever he's up to, you must stop him at all costs! Good luck Agent P!"

Perry saluted his boss on his video monitor, and then headed over to his nemesis's lair.

Inside Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy working on his latest creation. In a few moments, Perry broke through one of the windows. But before he could land on the ground, a bunch of rope stretched out from the walls and tied Perry up.

"Perry the Platypus..." Doofenshmirtz said maniacally, turning around, walking to Perry, and showing off his new watch. "I suppose you're wondering how I anticipated your arrival so easily. Well...introducing my latest and greatest creation...the Time Bendinator! With this, all it takes is a simple push of a button and I can make myself move faster than the speed of light, giving me the impression that time has stopped. WIth this new device, I can create as many "inators" as I want and there's absolutely nobody that can stop me!"

* * *

It was 6:30 pm in Danville, and Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were just now stirring awake from their long, & much needed nap. The three kids yawned as Isabella looked up at the sky, and was shocked to see that the sun was setting. "Hey, Phineas?"

"Yes, Isabella?"

"Didn't you send us into hypertime when we went to sleep?"

"Yeah? I mean, I'm sure I did. Why?" Isabella pointed up into the sky to the setting sun. "Oh no. I must've hit the button on this thing by accident and sent us back to reality." Phineas yawned and stretched his arms out. "But you know what? You were right, Isabella. I really did need that lazy day. I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, I'm pretty worn out, too. I think it's time for me to go home."

"So, see you tomorrow? Same time?"

"You bet, sweetheart." They hugged one more time and kissed before Isabella jumped out of the hammok and started running back home. "Bye Phineas! See ya, Ferb!!"

"Bye Isabella!" Phineas shouted, blowing her one more kiss as she ran back to her house to see her mother & her dog. "Well, Ferb, I think we can say that this day was successfully seized!"

"But now what do we do with this device? I mean, usually by now our invetion has disappeared." Ferb reminded them.

"Oh yeah. You're right."

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace had her hands full, since Commandant Spangler was about to return from his day long convention. "Candace!!" Tara shouted, running over to her roommate. "We have a problem! A big problem!"

"Yeah, yeah, the cafeteira is serving 3-week old meatloaf. I've heard it before-"

"No, you nimrod! Spangler's on his way here! He's already parked his car!"

"What?"

"Yeah, and his office is still a mess!"

"Aww, man! We gotta clean that mess up!"

And so both girls rushed over to his office and started dusting and vaccuming and washing down everything they had touched, which, weirdly, wasn't much. In fact, the only thing they had to really worry about was the drawer they had opened up. They had to fix the lock they had opened. They were able to get it back on the drawer, and tidy everything up so it was exactly the way Spangler left it when he left. He walked into the school, and headed up right to his office, suspecting that there might be foul play in his office, and he was right. But Candace and Tara were trying their best to hide it.

The two girls managed to run out of the office before Spangler had arrived. And as he took a good look around his office, he was almost completely sure that that something had happened while he was away. However, since nothing looked out of the ordinary, he decided not to dwell on that thought for now.

In Candace's room...

"Man, Tara, can you believe this!? My mom was married to Spangler at one point! But I don't see me, Phineas, or Ferb in any of these pictures. So it must've been before I was born."

"So now what are you going to do?"

"Well, mom hung up on me as soon as I said "Linda Spangler", so I'm sure she must still remember that time. Ho! Oh boy, this is great!"

"Why's that?"

"Because if my dad doesn't know that my mom was married to Spangler...then...then maybe, just maybe, I can trick him into believing that my mom's cheating on him! Then, she'll have to believe me about the boys to keep me from squealing to him!" Candace started to laugh maniacally, but stopped when she sawTara glaring at him.

"Yeah, but there's just one problem. If your mom won't come here to see the evidence, how do you expect to bring the evidence to her?"

"Well...I'll just have to find another way out of this place."

"Yeah, but how?"

* * *

"Ferb, do you know what this means?" Phineas, now excited, asked his stepbrother? "Maybe this is one of those very few inventions that we're meant to keep! And I can see why. I mean, this thing can virtually stop time for us! Which means that we can complete as many projects as we want in just a single day! Just imagine what we could accomplish when time isn't an issue for us! It's just amazing!"

* * *

"And the best part about my newest creation is..." Dr. Doofenshmirtz grinned to his nemesis. "Even though the sun is going to set soon, and I haven't even begun to build a new "inator", it doesn't matter, because with this new device, I can have as much time as I need to do whatever I want, and you won't be able to stop me, Perry the Platypus, even if you do manage to break out of the trap that I set for you! You're through, and so is the O.W.C.A!"

* * *

"With this device, we could complete a week's worth of projects in just one day! And I could have all the time I want with my sweet Isabella! And all it takes is the simple push of a button..."

* * *

"To reek havoc all over the Tri-State Area! Say your prayers, Perry the Platypus!!"

* * *

And as if it was fate...fate trying to toy with everyone, Phineas and Dr. Doofenshmirtz both activated their devices at the exact same time...and by doing so, they have sealed the fate their world.

At the moment they activated their devices, they began to light up uncontrollably, confusing both Doofenshmirtz and they were both lit up, they started floating up into the skies as the Earth began to rumble. "Ferb...wh-what's happening?" Phineas shouted, dumbfounded with what he was seeing.

"Wait, wait, wait! What is going on!?" Doofenshmirtz shouted back at his lair. "Why is my watch floating off of my wrist like that?" Soon, both Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry, along with people around the Tri-State Area, could feel the massive "Earthquake" that was consuming the Tri-State."W-What's happening!?"

"It feels like an Earthquake!" Phineas shouted in Danville. The Earth rumbled harder and faster than any other Earthquake that had ever hit Danville. But if that wasn't the worst of their problems, soon both of the devices began to pull towards each other, glowing several different colors at once. "Hey, where's our stopwatch going!?"

Eventually, the two devices collided with each other, near Phineas and Ferb and in an orb of blinding light, made up of every single color imaginable, they created an explosion so powerful that it knocked Phineas and Ferb right off of their feet. It blew them back several feet into their home, causing them to suffer a mild concussion. Meanwhile, everything else around them was also hit hard from the explosion, and from the Earthquake it caused. The Earthquake would measure 9.5 magnitude, making it one of the most powerful Earthquakes Danville has seen in years.

The only two affected by the explosion, though, were Phineas and Ferb, and while everybody else around them was not directly affected by the explosion, they were hit hard by the Earthquake.

As for Phineas and Ferb? Well...

* * *

The next morning, they found themselves in their own beds, with their heads wrapped in bandages. It was 8:00 in the morning. THey looked around to see that nothing in their room was different. Still, Phineas had a bad feeling in the pit of his gut that there was something wrong.

Unfortuantely, this feeling was confirmed when his dad, Lawrence, or so they thought it was their dad, walked in on them. But he was wearing a pink, frilly apron instead of his usual clothes, and had a broom in one hand and a dustpan in the other. "Oh, you're up, boys." He said in a high, squeaky voice. "Your father and I were so worried about you."

Phineas and Ferb both exchanged confused looks at each other, and pinched themselves before turning back to their parental figure, unsure if they heard them correctly. "Um...dad? Are you OK?"

"Oh, you silly boys., Your father left for his seminar hours ago. It's just me, Laura Fletcher, your mother." Yes you heard him/her correctly.

"Laura!? Mom!?" Phineas shook his head in surprise before getting out of bed again and running up to the person that was standing by the door. He touched his apron a few times and looked up at his/her face. Sure, it was the same face he had grown to know and love as his father, but it sure as heck wasn't the same voice or the same personality. Something was wrong.

Ferb soon followed him behind and he too was shocked at what he was witnessing. "F-Ferb? You might want to cover your ears. This is going to be loud."

Ferb obeyed, and covered his ears. Soon Lawrence/Laura followed suit. Phineas took in a very deep breath, took one last look at the person he once believed was his father, and let out one, giant, loud scream, a scream that could be heard all across Danville.

**To be continued...**

**Oh boy! A cliffhanger! When's the last time you've seen one of those from me!? Huh? Anyway**

**Next Time: I can't really give away the plot, mainly because I'm not exactly sure of one yet. But I can tell you that you can look forward to a secret agent Dr. Doofenshmirtz and an evil Perry the Platypus!**

**Expceted Update: Look anywhere after February 20th.**


	12. 10: Phineas and Ferb! In 4D!

****

Phineas and Ferb

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 10: Phineas and Ferb! In 4-D! (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: After waking up to find their whole world turned upside down, Phineas and Ferb discover that the impending explosion that occured the previous day caused them to enter an alternate parallel dimmension. Now they must get back to their own world before it's too late. Meanwhile, in this alternate reality, Perry is really an evil villain while Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a secret agent for the O.W.C.A. Plus, back in their world, Candace continues her quest to bust her mother and her brothers.**

**A/N: Since this episode switches between dimmensions and will get really confusing, I'll refer to the new dimmension as Universe B and their world as Universe A.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

**_

* * *

_**

**_Universe B..._**

"You're our mom!?" Phineas screamed, staring into the eyes of the person they thought was their father. In this dimmension, that man was their mother, Laura Fletcher.

"Why, Phineas, darling, how could you not recognize me?"

"Um...I-I don't know. I guess I must've hit my head really hard." He lied.

"Oh well. No harm done. Now come, your breakfast is getting..." She didn't have to lead them down to the kitchen, as they had already ran down to the kitche, where their plates of breakfast were waiting for them. Eggs; Bacon, and Orange Juice. The two boys quickly gobbled down their breakfast and then ran outside. "cold. Silly boys. They forgot to drink their OJ."

Outside, everything looked pretty much the same. "Hmm, everything looks pretty much the same. Ferb, what do you think happened to us yesterday?" Phineas asked his wise, but quiet stepbrother. Ferb shrugged at him, having no idea what to say to him, since he was just as confused as Phineas was. "Weird. Let's go see our friends. Maybe they'll have an idea."

So the two of them went off in search of their friends. They searched all over, and eventually found Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella playing in the park. So they decided to go over to them an join them. Something seemed different about them to the boys, and they were right, as they would soon learn.

"Hey guys!" Phineas shouted, them running towards their friends.

"Hey Phineas!" Isabella shouted in her usually peppy voice. "Hey Ferb." She said in a dreamy, lovestruck voice, as she stood up, casually strolled over to Ferb, and kissed him on his nose. Phineas's just dropped.

"Isabella!? What the heck are you doing!?" He shouted to her.

"Um...kissing my boyfriend hello! Duh!" She replied sarcastically to Phineas as she kissed Ferb again. Her doing this stunned both stepbrothers. "So how's my little lillypop today?" Ferb didn't respond, making Isabella giggle. "Still that same quiet self, I see."

"What's wrong with you, Isabella!? _I'm_ your boyfriend!!"

"Oh Phineas, we've already talked about this. I mean, you're cute and all, but you're just not my type."

He shook his head in shock. Isabella, the girl that he was (secretly) in love with for five years, the girl who had just become his girlfriend less than two weeks ago, was in love with Ferb! "I'm not your type!? Have you gone cuckoo in the head, girl!?"

"I didn't expect you to get so uptight about all of this. I mean, I thought you were OK with it. I know you can do the impossible, but...Ferb's just got this vibe -- this quiet, strong, forceful vibe that I just can't resist. He's like my knight in shining armor. And you...well...you've got a triangle for a head."

"What!?"

"Excuse me?" Ferb said.

"So...are we still on for later, sweetie? You know, that date you planned for us?"

Ferb started sweating bullets as Phineas glared angrily at Isabella, or at least, the girl he thought was his Isabella.

"Well, I can see you're going to be busy today. So, just give me a call. I gotta get to my Icicle Girls meeting." She leaned in and gave Ferb a kiss on his cheek and then ran off. Fireball!? Yes, you heard me right.

"Wait a minute. Icicle Girls? It's always been "Fireside Girls!" Phineas was finally starting to catch on that something was definitely wrong. "Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ferb nodded. "Yeah, I know. Something is definitely wrong here."

They turned their attention to Buford and Baljeet. "Hey twerp!" Baljeet shouted to Buford. "Gimme your lunch money!"

"I don't gots any." Buford said in a wimpy tone, compared to the tough and hardcore tone that Baljeet just had. "Come on, man! You took all my money yesterday!"

"And I spent it all on jawbreakers! Now gimme your money, nerd!!"

"I told you I don't have any!"

Baljeet stormed over to Buford and pulled his underwear up, giving him an atomic wedgie. Buford screamed like a little girl. "I don't believe you!!"

"Really, man! I gots nothing!!"

"Well, maybe this will change your mind, nerd!!" Baljeet pulled Buford's underwear up higher, making Buford's pain even more intesne.

Phineas and Ferb watched on as Baljeet gave Buford the pummeling of a lifetime. "What the heck is going on around here!?" Phineas shouted, Baljeet and Buford ignoring him. "Everything's all topsy turby. Baljeet's a bully, Buford's a nerd, and Isabella's making out with my stepbrother when she's supposed to be in love with me!!"

A short silence passed while Phineas attempted to regain his composure. "If it makes you feel any better, I did not enjoy any of what she gave me." Ferb said to him after that silence.

"Thanks, Ferb. But it doesn't make things any easier for me. Something's definitely screwy around here, and we've got to figure out what it is, and soon! Oh man, I just realized something!! Perry didn't come home last night. At least, I don't think he did. We were unconscious for so long we probably didn't hear him come in."

**_Platypus Evil is Insane!_**

Meanwhile, over by the building that resembled Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Perry the Platypus, the boys pet (though not in this universe), came up the chute, put on a brown fedora, went over to the giant computer on one side of the room, and started bringing up a contraption that he apparently built. He turned around to see that it was a giant portal. He grinned malevolently and even snickered. "Excellent. The time has come to finally unleash my greatest plan ever." Perry spoke. (With a voice that sounded alot like Stewie Griffin from **Family Guy**.) Apparently, his fedora gave him the ability to speak English.

Back at home, down underground, a man that looked and sounded like Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz slid down a secret tube to his lair. That's right. In this universe, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was a secret agent for the O.W.C.A. and Perry the Platypus was an evil villain.

"Ahh, there you are, Doofenshmirtz." Major Monogram said to his best agent on the screen. "It's Perry the Platypus. He's up to his old tricks again. This time, he's building some sort of device that can allow him to travel to different parallel universes. And with the technology and intelligence he possesses, who knows what he could be capable off. It's your job to find out what he's up to, and put a stop to him!"

"I won't let you down, sir." Doofenshmirtz replied, saluting his boss and then running out to get a jetpack, and then flying out of his lair...and crashing into a lamppost on his way.

* * *

**_Universe A..._**

"Bye mom! I'm off for my Fireside Girls field trip!" Isabella shouted to her mother before running out the door. She was wearing her Fireside Girls uniform. She was headed towards the "Danville Rock Climbing Center" for her Fireside Girls meeting today. Today, they were going to earn their "Rock Climbing for Fun" patches.

"Alright girls! Are you ready to earn your Rock Climbing patches?" Isabella asked enthusiastically to her troop. They all responded with cheering. They strapped into appropriate rock-climbing gear, and were lead out to one of the giant rocks that they had for climbing. All it cost them was a dollar per person for admission, which had been paid for in advance.

While everybody, including Isabella, was enjoying themselves, and was enjoying the rock climbing, and was sure to enjoy the view of the Tri-State Area once they got to the top, Isabella had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was a feeling that her beloved Phineas was in danger, and it was the worst feeling in the world to her.

"Hey Isabella, what's wrong?" Gretchen asked her as they approached the halfway point on their rock.

"Oh, uh, nothing. It's nothing, Gretchen."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Just because I space out once in a while doesn't mean something's bothering me."

"Oh. Well, are you thinking about your boyfriend, Phineas?" Gretchen was kidding with her, and Isabella knew it.

"Yes. Yes I am." Technically, she wasn't lying, but still, Gretchen suspected that there was something more to Isabella's thinking. Nevertheless, she decided that it wasn't worth it to worry about her troop leader, and the two girls got back to their rock climbing.

It took them quite some time to reach the very top of the rock. But once they did, they couldn't believe the sight that they saw. The Tri-State Area looked so peaceful and majestic...almost too peaceful and majestic. Once again Isabella got that uneasy feeling in her stomach. She was expecting to see Phineas and Ferb somewhere out in Danville doing something.

"Wow, what a view!" Katie blurted out.

"I know. It's so beautiful." Isabella tried to sound enthusiastic and happy, but the pit in her stomach was making it hard to do that. "But...doesn't it seem like something's...missing. I don't know, I guess I was just expecting to see Phineas and Ferb somewhere out there."

"Didn't you tell them that they should take a day off yesterday?" Adyson interveined.

"Yeah...but you know Phineas. He likes to "Keep Moving Forward." I don't know...something just doesn't feel right...I can't place my finger on it...oh well, I'm probably just getting paranoid over nothing."

* * *

**_Universe B..._**

Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb, still confused as ever, decided to take a walk around Danville, or, at least the town they believed to be Danville. Everything looked pretty much the same. Nothing was different as far as they could tell.

"I don't get it, Ferb. This is the same Danville we've come to know and love." Wrong. "But now, Bufrod's a nerd, Baljeet's a bully, and Isabella's gitchee gitchee gooing for you. What the heck happened?"

Ferb shrugged as they continued on. Everything continued to look unchanged, including the "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" building, which, in this universe, was called "Platypus Evil Incorporated". "Hey Ferb...you know what I just realized? Throughout all our time in Danville we've never, ever gone into _that_ building before, and yet I'm sure we must've passed it at least once during last summer. Maybe we should go inside and see what's going on. Maybe it'll help us figure out why everything seems so out of whack."

And thus, Phineas and Ferb decided to, for the first time (at least up to this point), go inside the building. They entered the elevator and set it for the top floor.

Meanwhile, back upstairs, Perry was about to unleash his brilliant plan, whatever it was. But just as he was putting on the final touches to his masterplan, Phineas and Ferb came up the elevator. Expecting it to be Doofenshmirtz, Perry activated his set trap, and as a result, a cage fell on the two boys upon stepping out of the elevator. "Hey! What gives!?"

As soon as Phineas shouted, Perry knew he had captured the wrong person. He turned around and saw Phineas and Ferb in the cage, just as Phineas and Ferb saw Perry standing there. Perry walked voer to them. "Oh my goodness. I must apologize. I was expecting someone else. Wait a minute, who the deuce are you two clowns?"

"Perry!" Phineas, the clueless yutz he was, shouted excitedly upon seeing his beloved pet, Perry. Unfortunately, what he didn't realize was that in this universe, he did not have a beloved pet. "We found you!"

"How dare you refer to me in such an informal manner! You will address me as "Evil Genius Perry the Platypus" or you shall be harmed in a most painful way!"

"That's a cool hat you're wearing." Phineas did not hear a word of what Perry had just said, and the platypus was surprised.

"W-D-Did you not just hear what I said!? What's wrong with you, man!?"

"What are you doing all the way up here in this tall, scary building?"

"He's not listening, is he?"

And just as they were about to clash again, Dr. Doofenshmirtz crashed through one of the windows on his jetpack, and landed himself safely on the floor.

"Aha! Beware, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted out. "For I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz have come to foil your evil plan! The Tri-State Area is safe under my protectiong and will never fall into your grubby little fins, Perry the Platy--" Suddenly a net flew from the ceiling and encased Doofenshmirtz, shutting him up right away.

"Thank god...you were getting tiresome to listen to."

"Perry, what is going on? Why are you acting like this? And since when can you talk?"

"Oh you stupid boy! Don't you get it yet? I've never seen either of you two in my life before. What makes you think I'd recognize you?"

"Did I forget to feed you? Is that why you're acting like this?"

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Perry pulled out a remote, and pressed a button on it. Instantaneously, a stun gun popped out from one of the bars on the cage, aimed for Phineas, and electrocuted him slightly. Not hard, but enough to knock him on his rear end.

* * *

**_Universe A..._**

Even though it wasn't enough to hurt Phineas, it was enough to hurt Isabella, because she knew that her boyfriend was in some sort of trouble. The minute that he was electrocuted in his gut, Isabella felt the same kind of pain in her gut, which concerned her fellow troop members while they were still on top of the rock. "Isabella, what's wrong!" Adyson asked.

"I think Phineas is in trouble!" Isabella shouted.

"But how can you be sure?"

"Trust me, Adyson. When you love a boy as much as I love Phineas, you just know these things."

"Well, I hate to be a bother, but I don't think Phineas is the only one in trouble here." Holly pointed down towards the ground, where there was now a small, black hole formed int he middle of the street. Lightning was coming out of it and the edges, and the hole was slowly getting bigger. "What _is_ that!?"

"It looks like some sort of wormhole!" Gretchen informed them.

"And it's sucking up everything around it!" Milly noticed that as the wormhole was getting bigger, everything around it was beginning to get sucked into it.

They all climbed back down the rock as quickly as possible and rushed back to their neighborhood to see the wormhole up close. (On TV, one of them would just pull the screen right and enter the new scene that way. I can't do it here because it'd be too awkward and complicated).

"It's a wormhole, alright." Katie said. "But where did it come from?"

"Maybe it has something to do with Phineas and Ferb." Ginger propsed.

"But wouldn't we be helping them by now? I mean, we always go help them with their crazy summer projects. That's why we all have 110 "Help Thy Neighbor" patches!"

"Um, I have 111." Milly added. "Remember? I went back one day last summer after everybody went home?"

"Yeah. We know. And we really don't care." Isabella commented before she noticed that she was slowly being pulled towards the Wormhole, even though they were at a fair distance away from it. She tried desperately to hold her feet firmly on the ground, but still found herself being pulled. Her fellow troop members had to grab her and pull her in order to keep her from being sucked into the wormhole. "Whoa! That hole's pretty strong!"

"And the bigger it gets, the stronger its gravitation pull!" Gretchen yelled.

"So what does that mean?" Katie asked.

"It means we need to take cover before this thing pulls us in! Girls, are you ready to earn your "Run For Your Life" patch?" Isabella asked, which was followed by them all cheering loudly for a ssecond...before running in the opposite direction in an attempt to avoid the wormhole before it sucked them in.

While they were running away, the wormhole did manage to suck in some other things, such as several treets, and the fronts of several homes, incluidng Cleveland Brown's, and while he was taking a bath, too.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO!**" He shouted as his bathtub slid right off and fell, falling right into the wormhole. "**_NOOOOOOOOO!_**" He continued to scream as he fell deeper into the bottomlyess abyss that was the wormhole. "Hey, my bathtub didn't break this time!!" **_Crack!_** He spoke too soon. "Dang it!"

* * *

Back at the military school, Tara was in her room, doing a crossword puzzle that she had brought along from home. Candace was nowehre to be found since breakfast, but everybboody was sure that she hadn't escaped again. And she hadn't...at least not yet.

"Hmm...6 down -- a 9 letter word meaning "saying the same thing different several times." Wow, these crossword puzzles are hard, man." Before she even had a chance to finish her crossword puzzle, the fire alarm bell rang. It was a loud police siren, and when it rang, it signaled that everybody needed to get out immediately. Now, Spangler didn't believe in fire drills, so the only time the fire alarm was actually pulled was in a real emergency...except in this case.

All the girls ran out to the front, whilst fire trucks began to pile in. At first, everybody, including Spangler, was a bit nervous. The only reason Spangler was nervous was because in the case of a real fire, he was usually the one to pull the fire alarm. But this time, he didn't. It wasn't against the rules for one of the students to pull the alarm, so long as it actually was an emergency, but it still didn't feel that right with him.

Candace managed to catch up with Tara, who was in a state of panic, like everybody else. "Dude, can you believe it?" Tara exploded. "The fire department's here! They must have every firetruck in the Tri-State Area here! God, they only do this when there's a real fire. But I didn't smell any smoke! Did you!? 'Cause I sure as heck didn't!"

"tara, Tara, calm down!" Candace, for once, was the one that was calm. "Relax. It was me. I pulled the fire alarm."

Tara stood there, motionless for a moment. "You did? Well, where was it?"

"Where was what?"

"The fire, Candace!! You don't pull a fire alarm unless there's a...fire...wait a minute...this is part of your escape plan, isn't it?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Are you insane!?" She shook her roommate viciously for a second. "You're never supposed to pull a fire alarm unless there's a real fire! If Spangler catches you--"

"He won't. I've got the evidence..." Candace held up the pictures of her mom and Spangler. "Now, I'm getting outta here. Mom will never see this coming. Later!!" She laughed maniacally as she ran towards the front gate, which was open. Everybody was so concentrated on the school that they didn't notice her, not even the firemen. "OK, I'm at the edge of the Tri-State, and I've got to get back to Danville. How am I gonna do that...hmm...I probably shoulda thought this out more thoroughly before I left."

* * *

**_Universe B..._**

Phineas, Ferb, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were still trapped in their cages, and Perry was about to unleash his greatest creation on them. "Now, boys, and Heinz, prepare yourselves for my latest and greatest creation! Behold...my Multiverse Portal!" The portal emerged and turned on, the center of it pink, and swirling around clockwise. "With this, I can go to different universe and take over the Tri-State Area in all of those universes! No longer will I be contained to just this one Tri-State Area! Now I will have a whole arsenol of places to take over at the tip of my fingers!"

Through the use of his computer, he was able to scroll through many universes that had the Tri-StateArea in them. While scrolling, he came across Phineas and Ferb's universe, and that's when he saw the wormhole that was sucking everything up. "W-Wait a mminute. That can't be right. According to my computer, that wormhole is destroying this universe. But that can't be possible. The only way this could be happening is if...wait..." Perry turned to Phineas and Ferb. "Boys, what universe are you two from?"

"Universe? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I thought so." Fearing the worst, he turned back to his computer and typed stuff in. "According to the computer, the wormholes in that univerese is being caused by an imbalance of spextral in this universe cmpared to thta of the other universe."

"IN English, please!" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"It measn that you two--" He referred to Phineas & Ferb. "aren't from here!"

"We're-We're not?" Phineas asked. "But...but that doesn't make any sense to me."

"Have either of you ever heard of the "Multiverse Theory"?"

"No."

"Well, it states that there are an infinite number of universes coexistant with ours on parallel dimmensional planes."

The two stepbrothers looked at each other for a moment, then at Doofenshmirtz, and then back again at Perry. "so you're saying that there's a universe with a Danville exactly like ours?"

"That's right."

"But that doesn't explain why they're here in the first place." Doofenshmirtz added. "Or why that giant wormhole is sucking up everything in their world."

"Well...boys, what exactly were you doing before you ended up here?"

"Well, the last thing I remember is us trying our time-stopping device. But then, instead of freezing time, it lifted itself up into the air, and collided with some sort of watch we think was another time-freezing device. After that there was a big explosion, and we were knocked back several feet, and we got this large concussion."

"Aha...I see...well, if my theory is correct, then the universe A counterpart of Dr. Doofenshmirtz must've created a time freezing device and activated it at the exact same time as you did, thus, creating a cosmic explosion which caused a ripple in the time space continuum, thus transporting you to this universe. And now, since there is an inbalance in cosmic energy from the explosion, your universe is being torn apart, and soon, all of our universes will."

"Universe A?"

"So all the universes are named after letters of the alphabet?" Ferb asked.

"Why, sure. All 454 of them." The three others shook their heads: There were only 26 letters of the alphabet. "What?"

* * *

**_U_****_niverse A..._**

Candace was still trying to figure out how to get home. She was walking in the direction of her house, but she was miles and miles away from it, and there was no way she would be able to get home before they figured out she had escaped. Luckily, a car was passing by, so she decided to hitch a ride with him. "Hey! Hey!! Mister!! STOP THE CAR!! STOP! I NEED A RIDE!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. The driver didn't see her at first, but after Candace started running, she was able to catch a glimpse of her, and as a result, she stopped in her tracks, allowing Candace to catch up. "Hey, mister, can you give me a ride?"

"Sorry! I don't do hitch hikin'." He said in an old western accent.

"Please! I have to get home!"

"Nope. I don't wanna get in trouble with the law, missy."

"You don't understand! It's my brothers!!" She paused for a moment, realizing that if she told the man that she only wanted to get home to get her brothers in trouble, he'd step on the pedal faster than Bill Clinton's quadruple bypass.

"What about 'em, little lady?"

"Um, they're...they're..." She needed a good excuse, and fast. "They're sick! Y-Yeah, that's it! They're in the hospital!"

The driver gasped. "What's wrong with 'em?"

"Uh...um...antidisestablishmentarianism?"

"Good lord, that sounds awful."

"Oh it is! I-It makes you look pale and weak!"

"Those poor boys. Well, what are ya waitin' for? Hop in! We gotta get you home, little lady!" Candace grinned and jumped into the truck, immediately riding off to get to her brothers...and bust them. "Hey kid, does it feel like the ground's shakin' a little?"

"Yeah, it kinda does. But it's probably just an aftershock."

* * *

And if that wasn't bad enough, just imagine what Isabella and her Fireside Girls were going through. They had to tie themselves up against a tree just to stand a chance against the wormhole, which was getting bigger and bigger as time passed, and its gravitational pull was becoming stronger, pulling in houses, trees, bushes, and even people.

"This isn't working!" Gretchen yelled over the roar of the hole. "The tree's still being sucked in!" The tree they tied themselves too was not strong enough to completely withstand the sucking power of the deadly wormhole. It was slowly being pulled out of its roots, and scaring them into a state of panic. "It-It probably wasn't a good idea to chain ourselves to this tree, was it?"

"You're right! But we can't cut ourselves loose now!!" Isabella yelled back.

"WHy not?"

"'Cause if we do, that thing'll just pull us in faster!" Katie pointed out.

"But if we don't do something, we're all going to die anyway!" Milly screamed. "What is your plan of attack, Isabella?"

The Fireside Girls all looked at their troop leader for an answer. But Isabella was completely cluelesss. She knew that Phineas was good at this kind of stuff, but he was nowhere to be found. "I don't know!" Was all she could shout before they were all pulled into the vortex, screaming at the top of their little lungs. After that, the wormhole continued to increase in size, and eventually went on to suck all of Danville, incluidng Dr. Doofenshmirtz and his family, Vanessa and Charlene.

* * *

**_Universe B..._**

Perry's machine was still set on Phineas and Ferb's universe, so unfortunately, Phineas saw Isabella and the Fireside Girls get pulled in, while Ferb saw Vanessa get pulled in. Everybody, including Perry, was shocked.

"Izzy! No!!" Phineas screamed in terror, falling to his knees. "She's gone! She can't be gone!" Ferb walked over to him and gave him a comforting pat on his shoulder.

"Oh suck it up, child! She's not gone for good. She's simply been sucked into a cosmic vortex that's threatening your universe. I know, it sounds bad. But we can fix this." He opened up theirs and Doofenshmirtz's cages, allowing them to walk over to the machine to get a closer look.

"Really? How?"

"By sending you back to your world, of course. As you cross dimmensions and return to your home planet, the wormhole will shrink and release everything that it had sucked in back to its original position, so it will spit out all of your friends and family."

"A-And everything will go back to normal?"

"Exactly. But we must hurry. If we wait too long, the process will become irreversable. Now, if I make a few minor adjustments to my device, I can switch it from view mode to travel mode. This way, I'll be able to send you two back to your dimmensions. Now, if you two will kindly step into the portal." Phineas and FErb quickly did so. "Alright, now let me set the coordinates...there, done! When I press this button, the portal will activate, and it will zap you back to your own universe, and also repair any damages done in the process. But I wanr you...the journey back may be treterous. I mean, you _are_ crossing dimmensions after all."

"OK."

"Just hang on tight, and you'll be back home before you know it." Perry walked over to his control panel, and pressed a button on it. In seconds, pink lightning surrounded the two brothers, and in no time at all, they had vanished, crossing the time space continuum back to their universe. Perry then turned back to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Oh, and I'm sure the concussion they got will probably make them forget everything they've seen here today."

"How come?"

"They must never know."

* * *

**_Universe A..._**

Phineas and Ferb were on their way back to their home world, but before they got back, the wormhole was still doing a lot of damage. Now it was so big it was stretching to just about the edges of Danville, which was a bit unlucky for Candace since she was approaching Danville, without even realizing it. The ground was still shaking, but now even more fierecely than before, which led her to believe that it was not an Earthquake.

"That's strange. Now the ground is shaking even more." Candace commented.

"Yeah, I thought that Earthquake passed us already." The driver said before noticing the wormhole directly in front of him. "SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL!!" He jamemd on the brakes. What the Sam Hill is that!?"

"What?" She looked in the direction he was pointing to and then discovered the wormhole. "AHH! It looks like some sort of multi-dimmensional vortex!" _And I'm sure Phineas and Ferb have something to do with it!_

"And it's sucking us in!" The driver noted that his truck was slowly being pulled in.

"So? Just slam on the brakes!"

"I'm not even doing anything!! It's like that thing's pulling me in!"

"But how?"

"I don't know. But quite frankly, I don't wanna find out!" The driver put his truck into reverse and hit the gas pedal, and started skidding backwards, trying to avoid the wormhole. Luckily, it was now time for the boys to return, so before they could, the vortex began to shrink slowly, also returning anything and everything it had sucked up, which included the people, the homes, and the trees. "Whoa, nelly! Did you see that!?"

"I sure idid!"

"And stuff's comin' outta it!"

"Yeah...well, what are you waiting for!? Drive! I gotta get to my brothers!"

"You serious!? No way am I driving towards that death trap again! You're on your own!" And with that, the driver opened Candace's door, unbuckled her seat belt, and pushed her right out of his truck before driving off in the opposite direction. Candace was surprised, but she didn't let it distract her. After all, the sign did say "You Are Now Entering Danville", so she knew she was almost there.

"Yes! I'm back, baby! I'm almost there! Just gotta keep going!" She said to herself before running into town.

While she was able to run into town without having to worry about the voretex bringing her in again, she failed to notice it coughing up everything it brought in, and that included Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa & Charlene, plus the Fireside Girls, including Isabella. Heck, even the homes, including Cleveland's house, was fully repaired, as if nothing had ever happened.

After everything was put back in their place, and the wormhole was almost completely gone, Phineas and Ferb were coughed out of it. They were launched 200 feet into the air, and were about to crash into the ground, and hurt themselves even more. The force of the cross back into their dimmension had already done a number on their bodies & minds. Knowing that time was a factor, Isabella jumped into action.

"Girls! Sashes! Now!" She shouted, and instantly, all of the Fireside Girls, while still lying on the ground, grabbed their sashes, and together, managed to make a trampoline, which Phineas and Ferb both bounced off of, and were caughtby Isabella and Gretchen respectively.

Phineas and Ferb both looked into the eyes of the girls who had caught them. "H-Hey Isabella."

"Hey Phineas. What'cha doin'?"

"Slipping into unconsciousness..." And that is what Phineas did indeed. But it wasn't like a dangerous "Oh my god, he's dying" unconsciousness; more like a "You've had a long day" unconsciousness.

Once he and Ferb were out cold, the Fireside Girls all got to work bandaging up the many bumps and bruises that they had. Phineas and Ferb quickly regained consciousness, but not fully. Afterwards, they began to explain what had happened to them since yesterday, leaving everybody there shocked. "So you and Ferb actually traveled to another universe, and it's because of that big explosion last night that almost caused our world to be destroyed?"

"That's right, Isabella. And it was so strange. Everything there was totally different. Baljeet was the bully, Buford was a nerd, and you were in love with Ferb." Her eyes widened. "Plus, Perry was an evil scientist bent on world domination, and he could talk, too!"

She blinked a couple of times before responding again. "OK, are you sure you didn't hit your head too hard the other day?"

"No, I know I did. But I'm serious! He was talking!"

"Whatever you say. I'm just glad you guys are OK."

"I'm just glad we're back." Phineas smiled lightly, closed his eyes, and hugged his girlfriend as tight as he could, never wanting to let go again. "Speaking of Perry, where _is_ he?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him all day."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Candace's military school, all the girls had returned inside after the fire scare and were now eating their lunches. Commandant Spangler wanted to punish them for causing the false scare, but he felt it asn't necessary, considering he already knew who was responsible for it (though he didn't know she was gone).

Spangler was watching over the girls as they ate their lunches when one of his workers came in, holding a clipboard. "Sir, I hate to bother you, but--"

"If this is about that fire alarm incident, I already know who did it." He answered without letting him finish.

"Well, so do I, but what I was going say was...we're missing a student."

Spangler's eyes widened as he turned around to his worker. "What!?"

"Well, I was going over the student roll call, and when I was done, I noticed that there was a student who wasn't checked off -- a "Candace Flynn"?"

Spangler hung his head and shook it as he quietly excused himself out of the school, before he yelled at the top of his lungs "FLYNNNNNNN!!"

In just mere moments, he, along with a couple of his co-workers were on their way to Danville, in the hopes of catching Candace and bringing her back to their school. "So, you think you can just sneak away without me noticing, huh?" Spangler mumbled to himself. "Well, you're wrong! I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't soon forget, you little maggot!"

Speaking of Candace, she was closing in on Maple Drive. She could practically see her brothers & their friendsin range. "There you are, you little monsters! You're mine!!" She noticed that there was an abandoned bike on the sidewalk near the sign. So she grabbed it and started riding it into town, extending the gap between her and Spangler, without even realizing it, of course.

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas and Ferb were all bandaged up. Isabella and Gretchen were comforting them respectively when Linda and Lawrence came out to check up on their kids.

"Hey boys." Linda said casually before noticing that they were all bandaged up. "Oh my goodness, what happned to you?"

Phineas and Ferb both looked at each other. They weren't sure whether or not they should tell their mom and dad what had happened to them. Any other day they would openly express their joy and entertainment to them, but today, it was different. They traveled to different dimmensions, for pete's sake. They wouldn't even believe it themselves if someone else had told them that it had happened to them. "We...we were..."

"We were playing "Red Light, Green Light" and they tripped in the street." Isabella explained.

"Oh, boys. You should know to be careful when playing in the streets. But I see you've wrapped them up quite nicely."

"And we got our "First Aid" patches."

"Well that's wonderful. Who would like to stay for dinner?" Everyone immediately raised their hands and cheered loudly as Linda and Lawrence went back inside.

"Hey, Isabella, why did you cover for us like that?" Phineas asked her.

"Conme on, Phineas. There is no way in the world she would ever believe such a crazy story as yours and Ferb's."

"Yeah, I guess so. Oh well, can't change the past."

As everybody was gearing up to head inside, Buford and Baljeet managed to catch their eye on Candace as she was heading down the street. "Hey Dinner Bell!" Buford yelled. "Isn't that your crazy sister coming up the street?"

"Who? Candace?" Phineas looked in their direction and saw her coming and laughing maniacally. "Hey, that _is_ Candace! Hey mom!! Dad!!" He turned to the house and yelled inside. "CANDACE IS HOME!!"

"What!?" Linda and Lawrence ran back outside and saw what Phineas was talking about, and saw that their daughter was indeed coming back home. "Wait a sec! She's not supposed to be coming home!!"

Candace quickly approached the home the house quickly, and when she arrived at the front lawn, she dumped the bike and ran up to her mom. "MOM!! I'VE GOT !!"

"Candace, what are you talking about?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me, you little rat! I've got you red-handed! And unless you want your precious hubby over here to find out your dirty little secret, I suggest you start listening to me about Phineas and Ferb, your two idiotic golden children, 'cause I gots something to say about them!!"

"Um, Candace, we all already know that she was a pop star in the--"

"Not _that_ secret, moron! I'm talking about THIS!!" She held up the pictures she had in her pocket, which were all about Linda and Spangler being married. They were passed around between the children, who all gasped in shock, except for Lawrence, considering he already knew. Linda gasped because she was surprised Candace managed to get a hold of pictures like those. "Huh!? "

"Candace...I-I don't know...I don't know what you're talking...about..."

"Oh don't try that, mom! I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!"

"Oh really? What number am I think of right now?" Buford asked her.

"8, because that's the number of slices a standard pizza has, and it's lunchtime!"

"Oh, she is good!"

"Candace--" Lawrence tried to explain to her that he had known for years but she wouldn't hear it.

"I know, dad! You're shocked! Dismayed! Horrified! Well, so was I when I first laid my eyes on these pictures! Ya see, mom!! THis is what you get for not believe me!? Huh!? Now looks who's the loser, mom! NOW YOU HAVE TGO BELIEVE ME ABOUT THOSE TWO PIECES OF JUNK YOU CALL YOUR SONS, MOTHER!! HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW!?!?"

"Candace, I've known for years, now."

"I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO--wait, what?"

"Yes, I've known for quite some time."

"Y-You have? I-I don't understand."

"Mom, what's going on?" A curious Phineas asked. "What's Candace talking about?"

"OK, it's clear that I have some explaining to do." Linda cleared her throat so she could begin talking. "It was about ten years ago. Spangler and I, we met at this club. We were very shy at the time, so we didn't really interact that much. But once we started running into each other at other places, we started hanging out more, and then we exchanged phone numbers, and eventually, I felt like I was falling in love with him. Eventually, he did propse to me and I accepted. We got married a couple of months after that."

"But...a few years in, I found myself feeling like I was repeating the same day over and over again. I mean, nothing was exciting after those first few nights. We had absolutely nothing in common. I was into free-form jazz and he was into making military cadets miserable. And then, it was that one fateful night at that Love Handel concert. I met your father. We talked a little, we danced to some of their music, and then when they shined that spotlight on us, we kissed, and...I knew. I knew it was magic. I knew he was the one. I never had the heart to tell your father about Spangler because I wasn't sure how to tell him, and I didn't know how he would react, so I simply divorced Spangler in secret, and then on year to the day of that concert, your father and I married."

Everybody aww'd, thinking that it was one of the most romantic thing they had ever heard. The only one that wasn't thinking that was Candace. She was just too focused on the fact that Lawrence had known the entire time.

"But one day, after we had been married, Spangler gave us a call to tell Linda that she had to go to court with him to finish the divorce papers. She wasn't home at the time, so I answered the phone. Then she walked through the door, and after that, she told me everything."

"So...So, you knew this entire time?" Candace said in a small voice, shocked that her plan had utterly failed.

"Yes. Yes I did.

"But...But...IT'S NOT FAIR!! It's not fair! My plan was perfect this time! I was finally going to bust--" At that point, she did something that was so unthinkable it would've even shocked poliemen if there were any standing by. Candace swung her arm around and slapped Phineas and Ferb hard in their faces, causing them to fall down on the ground. "THESE LITTLE MONSTERS FOR ALWAYS RUINING MY LIFE!!"

Phineas tried to get up, and while he was, he overheard Candace screaming and insulting them.

"They are always ruining things for me! Every time I get a date with Jeremy, they have to mess it up with one of their dumb, stupid contraptions! ANd then there was the time they launched me into space, and ruined Aunt Tiana and Uncle Bob's wedding--"

"But that turned out wonderfully--"

"Don't interrupt me, MOM! And then there was the time they scared me with that bigfoot story, and the time they built that cruise, and that rollercoaster, and that beach party, and they formed that one-hit wonder--" As Candace was talking, Phineas and Ferb were finally beginning to understand that Candace had never once enjoyed their summer projects. She always hated them, which led Phineas to believe she hated him all along. "Oh and what's the matter with you?" She noticed that Phineas was starting to tear up.

"Candace…I-I had no idea you felt that way. I always thought you loved our activities."

"Well, you thought wrong, you little bugger!!"

"But…now I understand. You don't love our projects…and you don't love me or Ferb."

"Wait, wait a minute! I didn't say that!"

"Well it sure sounded that way." Isabella stepped in to defend Phineas.

"T-That's not what I meant! I just hate it when you guys—"

"Candace, I think you've said quite enough, and it's clear to me that you're far from ready to come back home."

"But mom—"

"No buts. I sent you to that military school to help you get over your insane obsession with Phineas and Ferb, but it appears that you haven't learned anything, and that really disappoints me."

"You know what disappoints me?" Phineas said. "The fact that this whole time, I believed that Candace loved our ideas and loved us. But now I see the truth. Now I understand that she'd rather live her life without us."

"Phineas—"

"Shut up, Candace."

"Phineas!"

"Why would I talk to someone I have no respect for?" Everybody gasped, including Ferb. "Candace, throughout the years I've known you, I've never, ever understood your anger problems. I always thought it was just teenage stuff. But…but now I know the truth. You don't have any respect for me or Ferb, so I don't have any respect for you. So I suggest you just go back to that military school you hate so much, because I don't ever want to see you again!"

"But…Phineas…" Nobody had ever heard Phineas talk like that to anyone for any reason.

"**_THERE SHE IS_**!" Somebody in the distance shouted. It turned out to be some workers from the military school, along with Edwin Spangler, and they tackled Candace to the ground.

Once she was unconscious, they dragged her back to one of the vans, stuffed her in the trunk, and then drove off back to the military school to put her in "The Hole".

Everybody watched on as they drove off to the edge of the Tri-State Area. Phineas was physically sick to his stomach having heard Candace's angry rant, and Isabella and Ferb were forced to comfort him. By this point, Stacy and Jeremy came by, having heard all of the screaming.

"You know, we should all really feel sorry for her." Stacy commented. "I mean, it's people like her who end up having rotten adult lives."

"Coming from the girl who used to be her BFF?" Ferb said, surprised.

"Well, she's not really that bad. She's probably just too obsessive over you guys."

"Yeah, and you two deserve better." Jeremy said to Phineas and Ferb. Phineas didn't respond because he was upset, but Ferb gave them a thumbs-up.

"Look on the bright side, Phineas." Isabella said in an attempt to comfort him. "You've never needed Candace's approval to have fun before. So you don't need it now. You've always been able to enjoy summer even though she hasn't."

"I suppose so. Still, it hurts that she thinks of us that way."

"I know, but it'll pass soon enough, and things will go back to normal."

"You think so?"

"I know so." And so the two embraced, making everybody "aww" again. While they were hugging, Phineas noticed that Perry had returned. He showed his prescence with his standard growling sound. "Oh there you are, Perry."

"Well, I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but who's in the mood for dinner?" Linda said, as everybody except for Stacy and Jeremy rushed inside.

"Thanks, Mrs. Flynn, but I have to get home." Jeremy said. "I have to babysit my little sister while my mom's away."

"And I've never missed a family dinner before." Stacy added.

"OK, suit yourself." Linda replied before turning around and going inside with Lawrence. As Stacy and Jeremy were about to head inside, Stacy noticed that they were holding hands.

"How come we're always holding hands?" She asked.

"How else will people know we're dating?"

"Oh. Right."

* * *

**During the Credits**

As they were driving back to the military school, Candace tried desperately to get out of her rope trap that they used to restrain her. She couldn't scream because there was duct-tape over her mouth. But still, she tried desperately to squirm out and escape.

"Hey, pipe down back there!" The driver yelled, trying to focus on the road. What he didn't realize was that they were coming up on something unusual. They were coming up on an extremely long and spirally ramp with a big gap in it, and guess who it was owned by?

"I can't believe you sold your Niagara Falls attraction for this giant daredevil's ramp!" A nagging wife shouted to her husband/shop owner. "I mean, nobody's gonna want to use this thing!? What did you think? That some daredevil in a minivan was actually going to use this thing!?"

And on cue, the two of them looked behind them and saw the minivan with Candace in it coming up at 75 miles an hour, and jumping over the ramp onto the next one, and continuing on.

The shop owner turned back to his wife. "You never believe in me."

**End of Episode 10!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb learn that "What happens in the movies stays in the movies."**

**Expected Update: Check anytime after February 24th.**


	13. 11a: Enter the Werewolf

****

Phineas and Ferb

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 11a: Enter the Werewolf**

**Episode Summary: Inspired by "The Wolfman". During their stay at "Camp Phineas and Ferb", Phineas and Ferb attempt to create a real werewolf. But the experiment doesn't go the way they planned. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz gets a job as a dog-catcher.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

**_

* * *

_**

It was a bright new day, right around lunchtime. Linda and Lawrence were driving their minivan, with Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and the Fireside Girls, to Grandpa Clyde & Grandma Betty Jo's house near the lake, dubbed "Camp Phineas and Ferb".

"OK, kids, we'll be arriving shortly." Linda announced to everybody.

"Man, I still can't believe this is going to be our first trip to camp without Candace." Phineas said, slightly enthusiastically, though still disappointed. "It feels so weird without all the yelling and stuff. But I can't wait to tell Grandpa and Grandma the good news that Isabella and I are going out!" He reached out, grabbed Isabella's hand, and held it tightly, making Isabella giggle.

"I know, they're going to be so happy for you guys."

Minutes later, they arrived at the camp, where Clyde and Betty Jo were waiting for them. Once the doors opened, everybody piled out and rushed over to them.

"Hi Grandpa! Hi Grandma!" Phineas shouted to them as soon as he came out of the van.

"Hello kiddies!" Clyde immediately said as Phineas ran up to them and hugged them. Ferb was next. "How have you been?"

"Great!"

"And Ferb, I see you're still the quiet man." Betty Jo pointed out, to which Ferb smiled and blushed. Everyone gave a laugh as Phineas and Isabella embraced each other, to the surprise of Clyde and Betty Jo.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Phineas, you dog!" Grandpa said, noticing that there was something different about Phineas and Isabella.

"Oh, sorry. I wanted it to be a surprise. Isabella and I are going out, now!"

"So...you finally told him, huh?" Betty Jo said to Isabella.

"Yep. All it took was a cross-country trip and a trip to the hospital."

"Well, congrats to you two. You make such a cute couple."

"Aww, shucks." The two kids blushed as Phineas and Isabella kissed lightly.

"By the way, where's Candace?"

"Oh. Oh that's right. You guys don't know yet. Well..." And so Phineas went on to explain everything that had happened, covering everything from him forgetting his anniversary with Isabella, to her admitting her love for him, to him admitting his love for her, to Candace getting dragged off to military school. Afterwards, Ferb took a quick look around and noticed that something was missing.

"Hey, where's Perry?" He asked.

* * *

The truth was, Perry stayed behind so he could get easy access to his lair and receive his mission from Major Monogram.

"Ahh, good afternoon, Agent P." But he was surprised to see that Carl was at the screen instead of Monogram. "Um...Monogram's...out sick. Yeah, that's it! He's sick today! So I'll be giving you your mission. OK, let's see where I put it." While Carl went looking for Perry's mission, Monogram walked into the shot, and was surprised that Carl was in front of the camera instead of the front. "Bills, no. 50% off slushy burger...ooh, that's a keeper." When Carl looked up to see his boss there, he flinched. "Oh. Sir...you're better. It's a miracle!"

"Carl, I was in the restroom. You know that." Monogram said flatly as Carl returned to behind the camera. "Quit trying to steal my spotlight! You know that the only times you're allowed to give Agent P his mission is when I'm actually sick or when my back is out and I can't use the camera!Sorry about that, Agent P. I've been in the john for an hour and a half now. I went to this Mexican restaurant with my wife last night, and...well, let's just say those flaming buritos go right through ya. Anyway, our sources tell us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has recently gotten a part-time job as a dog-catcher. We have no idea why, but we don't have a good feeling about him. We've tracked him to deep inside the Danville Woods. Get right on it."

The platypus saluted his boss and went back to the surface.

* * *

For their first activity of the day, Clyde and Betty Jo decided to take the kids out for a hike around the lake, which everybody enjoyed greatly, something Candace wouldn't.

"So, Grandpa, got any good stories to tell us?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, I think I might have one that'll really scare your pants off." He replied, as they continued trudging on through the trees. "Now this one's about the legend of the Danville Werewolf." Everybody ooh'd. "It was many years ago in these very woods. There lived a small boy, right around your age. His name was Johnny. He was like any other boy. He liked to play sports, video games, and eat fried chicken. But he had a terrible secret. One night, after everyone else had gone to bed, little Johnny decided to take a walk out the woods. What he didn't know was that it was full moon out that night, and once he went under the glistening light of that moon, he transfomred into a werewolf. Werewolfs only come out on full moons, you know."

"Cool story, grandpa."

"But wait. There's more! He rampaged through the woods, cutting down nearly every tree. After that, he went into town and terrorized everyone in Danville. He caused massive havoc and thousands of dollars in damages."

"What happened after that?"

"Well, that's where the legend gets fuzzy. Some say he left to go terrorize another city. Others say he returned to his normal human form once the sun came up. But after that fateful night, he was never seen again."

Everybody hiking let out 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. "Wow, that's an awesome story, Grandpa." Phineas said, looking over to his stepbrother. "Hey Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today."

After the hike, Clyde and Betty Jo led the kids back to the campsite for some camp games, such as teatherball, macoroni art, a rousing game of "Capture the Flag", and later that night, they told ghost stories around the campfire while roasting s'mores. The day passed by quickly, but while they were having fun, Phineas and Ferb were gearing up for a big project to have the following day, and were keeping it a secret from their friends.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Log Cabin!_**

Meanwhile, while the kids were enjoying their ghost stories and s'mores, Perry made his way successfully into the Danville woods, and spotted Doofenshmirtz's log cabin. Inside, Doofenshmirtz was getting ready to go out and start catching dogs. He appeared to have everything he needed: nets, leashes, whips, anything else Castro would use.

Perry tried to sneak in through the window. But, it was bolted shut. Doofenshmirtz, however, was one step ahead of Perry. He pressed a button he had installed in the wall, and instantly, the window flipped over with Perry on it, and brought him into the cabin. Then, a safety bar came down from the ceiling, you know, like the ones you see on rollercoasters, and entrapped Perry to the wall.

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. What perfect timing." The evil scientist said, putting on his backpack, which consisted of nets, tazers, whips, dog food, etc. "You've fallen right into my trap! Here, you must be hungry." Doofenshmirtz reached into one of the pockets of his backpack and pulled out some dog food, and gave it to Perry. The platypus ate some, but immediately spit it up. "I must apologize, I'm afraid all I have is dog food. Guess what, Perry the Platypus? I'm now a part-time dog catcher? Why? Well, I'll tell you why. But first, let me introduce you to the--" He pulled out of his backpack an ordinary net used for catching dogs that was technologically modified to his beneift. "The Dog Capturinator!"

"You see, a couple of days ago, I was waiting for my monthly alamony check from Charlene, my ex-wife, you remember her, right? Anyway, I got a call from her, and she told me that her assets had been frozen so I couldn't receive my alamony check. I was devestated! And now I'm $30,000 in debt to my home! I needed money, and fast, so I got a job as a dog catcher. Now, I could've gotten a job as anything else, but I really wanted to be a dog catcher. For you see, later that same afternoon, I was taking a stroll through the park to calm my nerves. I found a nice, quiet bench to sit on when suddenly...a savage dog came up to me and pee'd on my new shoes! They cost five grand, and I now I can't even afford new ones! ANd if that wasn't bad enough, I also stepped in dog poop, another dog bit my leg, and one clawed my favorite lab coat apart!"

"It was then I swore my vengance against those wild mutts! So I found a job opening for a nighttime dog catcher, and now, here I am! And, I'm getting paid by the dog. I heard that there are kids who come to these woods every year for some sort of camp dubbed "Camp Phineas and Ferb"." Upon hearing those words, Perry's eyes opened widly and his heart started racing. "Oh well. They're going to be sorry if they brought a dog with them. And if they didn't, well, I'll just settle for any strays I find. Ta-Ta, for now."

And with that, Doofenshmirtz left to find him some dogs to catch and get paid. Meanwhile, Perry, now convinced that Doofenshmirtz was going after Phineas and Ferb, started struggling to get out of his trap, allowing his emotions to get in the way of his judgement, a first for him.

* * *

Back at camp, it was almost time for everybody to go to sleep. Phineas and Ferb were still working on their activity for tomorrow. They were making some sort of green liquid potion.

"Hey guys, it's getting late." Isabella said, peering her head out of the tent. "Don't you think you should come to bed?"

"We'll be done in a few minutes, Isabella."

"Everyone else is already asleep."

"No they're not." Isabella pointed to inside the tent, revealing that all of the kids were asleep, and the faint sound of Milly's soft snoring was proof of that too. "Oh...I stand corrected."

"What are you still doing up, anyway?"

"We're working on tomorrow's project." Phineas answered as he and Ferb started heading back into the tent with the potion in his hand. "We're trying to create an elixir that will alter one's genes so they can transform into a werewolf."

"That sounds cool. But are you sure it's safe? I mean aren't you a little worried about any reprocussions?"

"No. No I'm not. Jeez, you sound just like a wife."

"Well in 6 years, I _will_ be _your_ wife." She giggled as Phineas kissed him on the cheek. "With our parents' blessing, of course. But I'm not worried about them."

"Anyway, we've run some tests on our new potion, and when it's done, it'll transform the subject into a werewolf, _and_ return him back to normal come sunrise."

"Awesome!" She reached out slowly to grab the vile, but Phineas pulled it back slightly.

"But...it's not ready yet. The molecules in this mixture are still very unstable, so using it now...well, we're not sure what will happen. So it's best to wait."

"How long?"

"It'll be ready by morning. That way the unstable molecules will have settled in and then our elixir will be ready for testing."

"Nice."

So Phineas stored the elixir in the portable cooler they had brought along with them. After which, he, Ferb, Isabella, and everybody else decided to turn in for the night. Their tent was big enough to hold everybody in it, except for the adults, who decided to sleep in a seperate tent. So everyone picked a spot on the ground for their sleeping bags; Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella all picked spots close to each other. Within seconds, everyone was asleep.

For a whole hour, the kids' tent was almost completely silent before Baljeet stirred awake. He was thirsty so he decided to go to the cooler to get a soda can. What he didn't know was that Phineas and Ferb had put their elixir on top of everything else in the cooler. Unfortunately, he mistook it for a soda and took it out. As he was unscrewing the cap, Phineas slowly sat up awake and noticed Baljeet standing there.

"Hey, Baljeet. What's up?" He asked.

"Oh, hello Phineas. I did not mean to wake you. I was just thirsty so I decided to grab a cold beverage out of your cooler."

"Alright..." It was now that he noticed the elixir in Baljeet's hand. "But wait..." It was too late, though, as Baljeet was starting to drink it. "That's not a soda! That's-"

"What? If it is not soda, then what is it?" Phineas was about to answer, but suddenly, Baljeet started screaming out in pain. He hunched over, clutching his stomach in pain as his eyes quickly became dilated, he started getting bigger in size, and even began to grow hair all over his body. In no time at all, Baljeet grew to roughly 7-8 times his normal size, and his body shape changed dramatically. He was now a fully grown werewolf...literally, fully grown.

He howled so loudly that it woke all of the kids up in a scare.

"What was that awful noise!?" Isabella asked as she hid behind Phineas. She, along with everybody else screamed upon noticing the werewolf. They all ran out of the tent at a break neck pace, screaming. Surprisingly enough, all of the adults were still sleeping.

"What the heck _is_ that!?" Holly shouted.

"It looks like some sort of wolf!" Buford added.

"Not just any wolf...it's a werewolf!" Gretchen screamed.

"But...But I thought that was just an urban legend..." Adyson said, not aware of Phineas and Ferb's big idea.

"Well, it was. But..." Phineas began to explain himself as Baljeet began running around in circles. All the kids except for Isabella cross-eyed the boys. "You see, Ferb and I wanted to recreate that urban legend tomorrow, so we started working on this elixir that could transform someone into a werewolf and return you back to normal by sunrise."

"What!?" Everybody but Isabella exclaimed.

"Yeah...so we ran some tests on it, and--"

"And apparently, it worked!" Milly shouted.

"Not necessarily. See, the tests proved that it could transform you into a werewolf upon drinking it. But..."

"But what!?"

"But the molecules inside the elixir weren't stable yet. Once they became stable, the transformation would be reverseble and you would be in control of your actions. But because Baljeet took it out of our cooler and drank it way before that, he made his transformation irreverseble with that stuff."

"So you mean my poor, sweet Baljeet is stuck like that forever!?" Ginger cried out in agony, which was responded by Adyson walking up to her and taking off her "I Just Saw a Cute Boy" patch.

"That's right. Plus, the effects of the transformation are actually 20 times stronger now than they were designed to be because the elixir was so unstable. That's why we left it int he cooler, so they could settle in. We were gonna test it tomorrow!"

"But apparently, Baljeet got to it first and mistook it for a beverage, which brings us to our present situation." Ferb added, which made everybody, including Buford, flinch. "However...I have a theory..." Before Ferb could state his theory, Baljeet growled, now fully transformed. He roared so loudly that it literally shook every single tree that was in the forest...

Which utterly scared Dr. Doofenshmirtz out of his own lab coat. "Whoa, what the heck was that!?" He shouted to no one in particular. "It's like that dog's gonna cause an avalanche. But there's no snow around here. Oh, when I catch that dog, I'm gonna be so rich I won't even need Charlene's alamony checks anymore!! This is going to be so perfect, and Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser." He crept over to some bushes and peered over them and saw Phineas, Ferb, & their friends, along will the werewolf-transformed Baljeet running around in circles, howling. "Ooh, that's a big doggy they got there. This is even better than I thought! I am so getting that Christmas bonus!"

He started creeping up slowly towards the group, who was still discussing how to fix Baljeet.

"What are you thinkin', Ferb?"

"Well, do you recall the time we reverse engineered that anti-romance device to figure out what it did?"

"Yeah. That crazy one landed in our yard and we weren't sure what it was."

"Well, I propose we reverse engineer the potion we create in order to find any reversal effects; an antidote, if you will."

"To reverse the effects on Baljeet! Ferb, you're a genius!"

"But we don't have that kind of time! I mean, look!" Isabella pointed out that Baljeet was now starting to pull tress out of the ground and throwing them in every direction. This action scared Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was still in hiding, but did not make him run away in terror. "He'll kill us before we can get an antidote."

"Not if you guys stall him."

"But how are we supposed to stall him for...how long did it take you to make the first one?"

"OK, A) it only took us an hour and a half to make it, and B), we don't need to. I accounted for any errors and--" He pulled out a second vile. "made a second batch. We can just analyze this for an antidote. But it'll take some time."

"How long?"

"Maybe a half hour."

"You can build two rockets in less than a day but it takes you 30 minutes to do_ this_?" Buford questioned, and upon finishing the question, he was promptly picked up by Baljeet the Werewolf, and thrown hard into some bushes. Luckily the bushes broke his fall. "I'm OK!"

But everyone else wasn't, because no Baljeet was made, and he started banging his werewolf fists onto the ground, creating massive quakes, scaring the kids as they all started running around in fear as Phineas and Ferb returned to the tent.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz was quite surprise as how rambunctious Baljeet was, but he didn't know that the werewolf was Baljeet. So he walked into the scene, his head held high, and held his net up. "Stand down, you mangee mutt! Or face my wrath!"

"Dude, get outta here!" Holly shouted. "We can't control this thing!"

"Well, you shouldn't have brought him here in the first place! You really should've trained him first."

"No, you don't understand--"

"Oh I think I understand perfectly." The scientist walked over to the werewofl smugly, who was no standing in one place, panting hard, looking like he was ready to hurt someone else. "You just couldn't bear to keep your smelly dog home so your parents would be forced to look after him." What he didn't know was that Baljeet was quickly becoming enraged again. "But what you didn't know was that your pathetic excuse for a dog is going to bring me my bonus! That's right, kiddies! I'm taking your dog with me--" Baljeet then roared so loudly it actually did scare Doofenshmirtz. "--to...the..." He slowly turned around and saw that he was being stared down by the werewolf, with eyes so beat red and angry that Doofenshmirtz couldn't help but flinch. "...pound..." He chuckled softly. "Oh..Oh I am _so_ not getting that Christmas bonus.."

At that point, Baljeet grabbed Doofenshmirtz with his claws, scratched him up, and the threw him up into the air...he threw him so far out that he actually landed back in Danville. "CURSE YOU, BANK OF AMERICA!!" He shouted as he was flown into town, his voice fading the farther he got. Eventually, he landed in his building, crashed through the roof, and crashed into one of his past inventions. "Oh man!! I worked all week on this!!"

Perry the Platypus, who had just gotten out of Doofenshmirtz's trap, had arrived at the scene just in time to see that Doofenshmirtz was launched into the air by the werewolf. Of course, Perry, too, did not know that Baljeet was the werewolf. He just knew that Phineas and Ferb were nowhere to be found and was worried.

* * *

The very next moment saw everybody else running around all over the woods and Baljeet chasing them. Phineas and Ferb were in their tent working on an antidote for Baljeet, and the adults were completely asleep, oblivious to the outer activity of the children.

Baljeet ended up terrorizing the kids a whole lot, to their surprise. He managed to get his hands on Isabella, Buford, Gretchen, and Katie several times, and clawed up their clothes severely (except for Isabella, who he simply licked to death as a sign of his affection). They played a game of "Cat and Mouse" for about 45 minutes while Phineas and Ferb worked on an antidote.

Even Perry, in secrecy, tried to help out by using some of his gadgets to hold Baljeet down, and when nobody else was paying attention, Baljeet swooped one of his claws at Perry and knocked him down hard, causing his jet pack to fly away, leaving Perry unable to get home without anybody noticing.

By the time Phineas and Ferb were actually done with their antidote, their friends were all banged up pretty badly. Not life-threatening badly or even bleeding badly, but they were scrapped up and pretty frustrated.

"Guys! Guys!" Phineas shouted as he and Ferb ran out of the tent, with Phineas holding a yellow liquid in one hand, and a small dart gun in the other. "We've got the antidote!"

"Yay..." Everyone cheered simoltaniously, but weakly.

Isabella pulled herself up and dusted her clothes off. "Now how are we going to get Baljeet to take it?"

"Well, I loaded up this tranquilizer gun with several darts that contain the antidote within them, just in case we couldn't get Baljeet to drink the antidote directly. So I'll try to get close to Baljeet to shoot the antidtoe into him, and Ferb'll see if he can get close enough to him to get the liquid into his mouth upfront. Move out!!"

All three of them spread out in different directions, while Baljeet continued to grow angrier. He pounded his fists up into the ground, causing it to shake uncontrollably. Everybody tried desperately to hold Baljeet off while Phineas tried to get a good shot. "Steady as she goes..." Phineas said to himself, preaparing to take a shot at Baljeet, who suddenly turned to face the boy. "I'm sorry, Jeet. But this is for your own good." But he wouldn't hear any of it. So he swiped the gun out of Phineas's hands, and tossed it aisde gently before picking Phineas up and squeezing him tightly, literally sucking the oxygen out of him.

Perry, still remaining elusive and unseen, knew he had to act fast, so before Baljeet could really hurt Phineas, Perry grabbed the tranquilizer gun, loaded it up, aimed carefully, and shot it at Baljeet's neck. Immediately feeling something in his neck, and the remedy quickly taking effect, Baljeet loosened his grip on Phineas, eventually dropping him to the ground.

Baljeet moaned and groaned in agony as he slowly began shrinking and turning back into a human. "Hey, it's working!" Phineas shouted, still connfused as to how it happened, since he didn't shoot him with the gun. "But how?" Phineas then noticed the tranquilizer gun on the ground, which Perry had dropped before he ran away.

Slowly, but thoroughly, Baljeet had ended his werewolf transformation, and was now back to his normal, nerdy self. His clothes were in tatters from the mutation, and Baljeet was very dizzy from it all. "W-What happened?" He said as everyone gathered around him.

"Baljeet, you don't remember anything?"

"The only thing I can recall is me taking a sip out of that strange-tasting soda you had in the cooler."

"Baljeet, that wasn't soda you drank. It was werewolf elixir."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Werewolf elixir. Ferb and I were trying to recreate the legend of Johnny the Werewolf so we made this potion that could transform somebody into a werewolf. But it wasn't ready for testing yet and that's why we put it in our cooler."

Baljeet simply loked at them all for a moment. He blinked a few times, rubbed his head, and then started laughing loudly. "Oh that is good. You are a jokster, Phineas! Everybody knows that there are no such things as werewolfs! That is just plain cuckoo!"

"No, really, Baljeet! You--"

"My goodness, you are so funny! I can see why Isabella fell for you! Well, goodnight everybody. I must get back tot he tent." He stood up, dusted his clothes off, and then walked back to the tent. Everybody stared at him for a moment, confused at his obliviousness.

"Wow, for such a book smart fellow, he sure is stupid." Isabella commented.

"He sure is..." Ginger replied, in a dreamy sort of way. She couldn't keep her eyes off of Baljeet. But for that, Isabella had to once again rip off the "I Just Saw a Cute Boy" patch from her sash. "Stop doing that!"

**End of Episode 11a!**

**Next Time: Inspire by the new "Let's Move" campaign Disney Channel is doing. Phineas and Ferb help Buford trim down to keep his place on the wrestling team.**

**Expected Update: You can check anytime after February 23rd. I'm not expecting to be done with it by then, but be on the lookout anyway.**


	14. 11b: Movin' and Groovin'

****

Phineas and Ferb

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 11b: Movin' and Groovin'**

**Episode Summary: Buford is in danger of getting kicked off the community wrestling team, so Phineas and Ferb help him slim down. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to create a weight loss pill that will eliminate the need to exercise forever.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

**_

* * *

_**

It was a new day. The sun was at its highest point, and Phineas, Ferb & Isabella were relaxing under their shady tree. Their peace and quiet, though, was being disrupted by the sound of loud crying, which had been going on for about a half hour now. Phineas jumped up, practically fed up with it.

"Man, what _is _that?" He said as his stepbrother & girlfriend joined him, standing up. "It's been pounding in my ears for the last half hour!"

"It sounds like somebody's crying." Isabella pointed out. "And rather loudly, I might add."

"How am I supposed to enjoy some quality time with my stepbrother and the girl that I love with all that sobbing going on!? I can't even hear my own thoughts!"

"I guess we should go see what's going on."

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." So they all decided to follow the sound of the noise, curious as to where it was coming from. "I hope Perry's gonna be OK."

* * *

Perry, of course, was indeed affected by the crying. He was so affected by it that he had to drop into his lair way before he was scheduled to get his mission. He looked up at his monitor to see that Major Monogram was also covering his ears from the agonizing crying.

"Ahh, Agent P! You're early!" Monogram shouted loudly over . "Oh, gosh! I wish that putrid crying would just stop! It's giving me a splitting headache! Hang on." Monogram reached off-camera and put on a set of headphones. He then signaled Perry to do the same. There was a pair of headphones by his desk. Perry put them on, and after that, the only thing he could hear was his boss on the other line. "Good morning, Agent P. I wish we knew what that noise was, because I have had a headache since last night, and that noise is only making it worse! And I've got a date with the wife tonight! We're going to this hip new club in the area and it's karaoke night! I gotta save my voice for the big night!"

"Anyway, over the past several hours, Doofenshmirtz has purchased some suspicious items from grocery stores and delicatessens -- that's a big word for "drug stores". And nothing good comes out of a drug store. So get out there and stop him."

Perry saluted his boss, as always, took off his headphones, and then back flipped right into a hole in the ground, where he grabbed his hovercar, flew right out of a pothole and headed towards his Nemesis's lair.

**_Perry!_**

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella followed the sobbing to Buford's home. "Buford's house? Jeez, you would think a bully bent on taking Baljeet's underwear on a daily basis would have better control over his emotions. Come on, let's go see if he's OK."

The three children walked into his house, and followed the noise to Buford's room, where he was sitting on the floor, crying his eyes out. "Buford?" The bully looked up to the sound of Phineas's voice. "Dude, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothin's wrong." Buford lied. "Why would you think something's wrong?"

"Because you're crying. The only time I've ever seen you cry was when your fish went missing."

"Oh, right." He dried up some of his tears and looked at his friends. "See, this morning my dad took me over to the Danville Bullies' Gym so I could renew my membership on the wrestling team. And you know what he told me?"

"What did he tell you?"

"I'll tell you what he told me!"

_(Cue Flashback)_

_At the Bullies' Gym, Buford stepped onto a scale with his wrestling coach standing over him. He wrote down what the scale said. "Ooh, you're a big boy, aren't you? Well...I'm sorry, Buford."_

_"Why? What's going on?"_

_"Well...how can I say this without hurting you..."_

_"For Pete's sake, man, just spill it!"_

_"You're too fat to fight."_

_"W-What!?"_

_"I'm sorry, but your weight doesn't fit you into any of the wrestling divisions. And you know the rules..."_

_(End Flashback)_

"...if I can't fight anybody, then I can't be on the team! He told me that I was too heavy to be able to fight anybody fairly, so unless I lose weight by my next meeting, I'm off the team!"

"What? That's terrible!" Phineas shouted.

"I know! It hurts so much that I could cry!" And that's what Buford started doing again: crying. Phineas and Ferb walked over to Buford and gave him a comforting hand.

"Come on, Buford. It's not that bad!"

"Yes it is! Wrestling the only outlet I have to stop myself from bullying so much! What else am I gonna do if I can't wrestle?"

"OK, OK, look. How about if Isabella, Ferb, and I help you? Yeah, we could set you up on a program so you can lose enough weight to stay on the team. How much did he tell you you needed to lose?"

"Uh...three pounds."

The three other friends blinked at each other for a second. "T-That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Ha! That's no problem!"

"Yeah, except for the fact that my next meeting with my coach is this afternoon."

Phineas looked at Buford, then at Ferb, and then at Isabella, alternating between them for a moment. "Wow...that _is_ a problem then." He turned back to the other two. "Well guys, I know what we're gonna do today. Hey, where's Perry?"

"Doesn't that platypus of yours always disappear?"

"Yeah, but I'm a bit worried this time. I think your crying scared him off."

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Perry arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and, instead of going through one of the windows, decided to surprise him by taking the elevator. He took it all the way to the top floor. But, upon stepping out, he found himself immediately trapped in flypaper. After struggling to get out of it, the floor tile suddenly found itself lifted off the ground; in reality, it was being held up by Norm the Robot, as he flew it to one of the walls of Doofenshmirtz's room, sticking it there, leaving Perry trapped. "My name is Norm."

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. Right on time. I see you've met up with my fly paper trap. Yeah, I know. I've glued you to the floor before. But this time, I glued you to the wall. Different. Anyway, do you recall a few schemes ago when I tried to turn all the healthy food into junk food? Yeah, and then there was just a few days ago when I tried to make the unhealthiest pizza ever? And then there was that one scheme where I tried to turn all of the Fireside Girl cupcakes into broccoli so I could finally lose these extra ten pounds?" He lifted up his shirt to reveal his "old person" belly.

"Well, since none of those schemes have worked fabulously, I have decided to wipe the slate clean and go with a new scheme. This time, I am using science to creat the ultimate weapon for weight loss! Y-You know how they have those commercials that advertise those pills that say you'll lose weight if you take two a day? You know? Well, my newest creation is going to make those pills look like a joke! By taking just one of these pills a day for 7 days, an obese person could have their BMI reduced to normal! I even have the computer models to prove it! Behold, Perry the Platypus! Tremble in fear--" Doofenshmirtz took out a green capsule and held it up to Perry. "--of the Meltinator!! You know...'cause...cause this'll _melt_ fat right off of you?"

The joke was followed by a weak chuckle by Doofenshmirtz, and a rim-shot done by Norm on a drum set. Perry rolled his eyes while Doofenshmirtz continued laughing, hoping somebody would laugh with him, to no avail. "That was awful, sir." Norm said to him.

"Shut up, Norm."

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford made their way into the kitchen to help Buford start trimming down. "Alright, Buford. Ferb, Isabella, and I are gonna help you trim down. How long do we have until your meeting?" Phineas asked the bully.

"What time is it now?"

"About 10:00."

"Then that gives us...about 4 hours."

"I still can't believe your coach actually expects you to lose 3 pounds by 2 this afternoon." Isabella said.

"Yeah, he's a real tough one alright. But deep down, it's only because he cares for all of us."

"Alright then. The first thing we need to work on when it comes to losing weight is your eating habits. They are an essential key to weight loss success. So, Buford, what do you eat for breakfast?"

"For breakfast? Oh, I don't know. Cereal?"

Once again, the three friends exchanged blank looks at each other. "That's it?"

"Well, actually, 6 bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios, and 3 glasses or Orange Juice."

"Alright. That doesn't sound so bad. OK, let's move on. How about any snacks afterwards? Did you have anything to eat before lunchtime?"

"It's only 10 A.M. dilweed."

"That's right. I forgot. Well, do you normally have anything before lunch?"

"Nope. No snacks."

"Then what do you have for lunch, then? You know, on a typical day."

"On a typical day...about 3 or 4 beef stew sandwiches, a can of chicken soup, 2 cups of apple juice, and a pear."

"Really? Wow, that's a big lunch."

"What do you expect, Dinner Bell? I'm on the wrestling team. I've gotta keep my strength up? You should see the guys I have to fight. They may not be heavier than me, but they sure are just as strong."

"OK...you got that down, Ferb?" Ferb gave Phineas a thumbs-up. "OK, we're making good progress here. And dinner?"

"Dinner? Well, it varies from day to day. Last night, it was taco night. So I had 3 tacos: one with extra cheese, one with extra peppers, and one with extra meat; 3 glasses of a protein shake that my parents whipped up for me, and a piece of chocolate cake for dessert."

"Yikes! That's a whole lot of dinner."

"You got a problem with the way I eat? You got a problem with the way athletes eat!?"

"NO, no--"

"'Cause I could easily shut you up, bub, if you keep insulting the way I eat!!"

The triangle-headed boy did not know how to answer to that. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Maybe we need to take a different approach."

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, he was about to mass produce his new weight loss pill. "With my new weapon to ultimate weight loss, I will become so famous that even my brother Roger will be forced to bow down to me! But first, I'm going to need many more of these pills. Now, Perry the Platypus, I'm sure you remember my Copy-and-Pasteinator. You know, the one where I tried to make copies of myself so I wouldn't have to wait in line? Well, I've created a smaller version of it, so now I can use it to produce thousands of copies of my new diet pill!"

While Doofenshmirtz was explaining his scheme, Perry was trying desperately to get himself unstuck from the fly paper, with little success. "Try all you want, Perry the Platypus! You're completely bound to that fly paper like bees are bound to...to...oh never mind! You get my point!"

Doofenshmirtz turned on his new machine and placed the pill inside of it, ready to duplicate it. "And now! I will produce thousands of my new "Meltinator" pill! A ha ha ha--" But his dreams were dashed suddenly when instead of another pill coming out of the end, a tiny bomb came out and was thrown towards the wall where Perry was. Upon impact, the bomb blew up, destroying the part of the wall that Perry was stuck to, essentially freeing him from the fly paper. "Wait, wait a minute. What just happened!? This isn't my -- oh, ho, ho. I see. This was my Boominator. It produces tiny explosive devices undetectable by radar. I must've inserted the pill in here by mistake."

As if that wasn't bad enough, the pill landed near where Perry was, so Perry picked it up and put it in his pocket. "Oh no! He has the pill! Norm, stop him! GET THAT PILL! Get it!"

"I don't get paid enough for this." Norm said bitterly as he approached the platypus.

"I'm not even paying you at all! You're a robot!"

"So? I still have feelings."

* * *

Over at Buford's house, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford were going over many notes they had taken. Phineas had taken down the notes of what Buford ate in a typical day, while Ferb and Isabella were doing research on the Internet, looking up what a typical boy Buford's age should be eating, and how much of it.

"I don't get it." Phineas said, scratching his head in confusion. "It just doesn't make any sense to me. I mean, Buford isn't eating anything that's bad for him. Everything's totally healthy, well, except for the piece of cake, but come on. We're all human. Am I missing something here?"

"Perhaps the problems lies not with what Buford is consuming, but how much of it is he is consuming." Ferb said.

"What? That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as too much of a good thing when it comes to healthy stuff. Right, Isabella?"

"Well, uh..."

"Now what do ya say we whip us up some lunch? I'm sure you're hungry, right, Buford?"

"What is this "hunger" of which you speak of?" Buford asked, genuinely confused. Everyone exchanged looks for a second before Phineas finally spoke up again.

"Hmm, guess I stand corrected. Buford, you've never felt hungry before?"

"No. Not really."

"Interesting." Phineas turned to Ferb. "Ferb, I think you're on to something."

"Really? What was your first clue?"

"I can deal without the sarcasm, thank you."

* * *

Perry desperately tried to avoid Norm, who was trying to smack him down hard. With the diet pill still in his pocket, the secret agent platypus used his grappling hook and jet pack to steer clear of the robot. But in the process, the two of them destroyed practically everything in Dr. Doofenshmirt'z lair. "No, no, no! Not the refrigerator! That's where I keep all my food! Oh no, no! Not my Shrinkinator!"

Everything was almost completely wrecked, and as Doofenshmirtz tried desperately to chase after them and stop them, Perry was getting away from Norm, and was even starting to fight back. He was able to launch several sneak attacks on Norm while he wasn't looking. Eventually, he was able to remove Norm's batteries, causing him to fall down completely motionless. Feeling like he just won, Perry decided to make his way to one of the windows. But before he could leave, the windows suddenly had metal bars come down on them, shutting them off.

"Oh I'm sorry, Perry the Platypus. But I simply cannot allow you to leave." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said as he walked over to his mini Copy-and-Pasteinator, the real one, and brought it over to the one of the shut windows. 'Did you honestly believe that just because you took _one_measely pill you've won? Ha! Don't make me laugh! Or did you forget the power of my Copy-and-Pasteinator? I can create thousands of pills with just the press of a button!"

He pressed a button on his Copy-and-Shrinkinator, and it started to rumble. "Since my creation has already absorbed the scientist data contained within my pill, it doesn't even make a difference that you have it, I can still make thousands of pills and make millions of dollars! Nobody will ever be able to take me down again! Now watch!"

Perry and Doofenshmirtz watched the machine rumble back and forth, but for a moment, nothing happened. "I-It takes several minutes for something to happen. It's not as easy as copying a measely human. Get real." Perry rolled his eyes. "Oh don't-don't give me that, Perry the Platypus! This is a good plan!"

* * *

After the kids had established to Buford the importance of moderation, they gave him several demonstrations and tips on how he could improve his eating habits on a daily basis. After they were done with that, they shifted their focus over to the exercise portion of weight loss.

"OK, Buford. Now that your eating habits are under control, we can move on to the second part of any good weight loss regime: exercise." The four kids walked over to Buford's gym: The Bully Gym, as it was called. "So Buford, what do you do for exercise?"

"What do you think I do? I'm a bully. I come here to pound on nerds." He replied, showing them the inside the gym, where other local bullies were getting a good sweat in, practicing various techniques of bullying. "See?"

"Hmm...interesting. But I don't think this is the kind of exercise you need if you want to lose weight."

"Then what kind of exercise do I need?"

"Come on. We'll show you." They took Buford over to a real gym a few blocks over. Buford was stunned to see so many people using the various equipment that was found there. He was also shocked at the physically strong-looking people that were there, too, and not just men, women as well.

"Holy cow! Look at all these guys!" He shouted. "They're buff! And strong! And buff!"

"You said that already."

"Well they are! THis isn't the place for me!"

"Sure it is. Gyms aren't just for people who are in shape. They're also for people who want to get in shape too."

"Are you saying I'm fat!?"

"No, no! I-"

"'Cause that's what it sounded like! And don't get me started on you, pal, cause once I start, I won't be able to start!"

"Look, look, we're just going to show you how the machine works, and then, I've devised up an excellent workout regime for you to follow to get optimal weight loss results in the quickest time."

"Alright, let's get going then." Buford started walking towards the machines, leaving the three kids behind.

"Jeez, I wonder what Buford meant when he said "Don't get me start on you, pal". You don't think he was calling me fat, do you?" Phineas turned to his two friends. His stepbrother, Ferb, immediately shook his head no. "What about you Isabella? Do _you _think I'm fat?"

"Um...I-I'm going to choose _not_ to answer that." If Isabella chose to answer that, she'd go into an unstoppable rant about him which would eventually lead her to saying something that would probably make Phineas uncomfortable again.

The four kids stayed there at the gym for a couple of hours until it was time for Buford's meeting with his coach.

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, Doofenshmirtz was watching in awe as his Copy-and-Pasteinator began to produce him thousands and thousands of tiny green pills. Not wanting to wait any longer, Perry decided to charge in and attack the machine before the evil scientist could start administering the pills to the Tri-State Area. By destroying the machine, Perry would be ensuring that no more of those pills could be made. But, after having his batteries replaced, Norm made one last attempt to save his boss by firing a bunch of rockets from his arm. Unfortunately, when Perry and the rockets collided, they created a giant explosion that blew the roof off of the building, sending Norm, Doofenshmirtz, and Perry flying in different directions.

"Curse you, modern technology!!" The evil scientist shouted as he and Norm slammed into the ground somewhere separately. Perry, however, was able to maintain his composure long enough to use his jet pack to stay airborne. Once airborne again, he took out the pill, and threw it in some random direction, hoping never to see it again.

**_Agent P!_**

* * *

After a grueling two hours at the gym, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford headed to the Danville Community Wrestling Center to meet up with Buford's coach. "OK, Buford. Your moment of truth is here." The four kids approached the coach who had a portable scale on him. "Good luck." Phineas encouraged him as his coach placed the scale on the floor. Buford took his shoes and socks off, and stepped onto it. After waiting for it to stop spinning, the bully looked down...and was devastated (sort of).

"No change." Buford said calmly.

"What!? That's impossible! We've fixed your eating habits, helped you exercise...you should've lost the weight."

"What? You honestly think weight loss works like that?" The coached asked him.

"Doesn't everything work like that?"

"Kid, weight loss isn't a quick fix -- contrary to what NBC thinks. Weight loss is a lifestyle change that takes time, as in, more than a day."

"Yeah, Dinner Bell." Buford defended him, obviously knowing nothing was going to happen.

"But...aren't you upset that you're going to be kicked off the team?"

"Of course I am! I'm mad as heck! I mean, all this hard work just to find out that I'm gonna be kicked off of the Wrestling Team--" Buford jumped up on the scale, practically smashing it. But instead of breaking it, he had apparently fixed the caliber problem it had, which made the scale read 5 pounds heavier. As luck would have it, as Buford was ranting on, the pill that Dr. Doofenshmirtz had created for "weight loss" landed in Buford's mouth; he gulped it down without realizing it. "--and Wrestling's the only thing that--"

"Hey, Buford!! Look!" Phineas shouted, looking at the scale. It jumped back 5 pounds.

"You did it!" Isabella shouted joyfully.

"Hey...hey, I did do it! I'm still on the team! Wahoo! Now, if you'll excuse me---" He held his stomach in pain. "I'll be in the bathroom." He jumped off the scale and sprinted towards the restroom, leaving the others behind. The coach was taking a good look at the scale.

"Wow, I can't believe Buford actually did it."

"I wonder whhy the scale took longer to register." Phineas pondered.

"Oh, I think I can answer that, and I think it's my fault." The coach said, rather disheartened. "I just realized that our scale was off. It read 5 pounds heavier than it should have."

"W-What?"

"I must've weighed Buford in incorrectly when I saw him earlier. And that might go for everyone else on the team. Oh boy, now I gotta make room for three old recruits that I kicked off for being too heavy."

"So in other words...you've completely wasted our time today." Phineas said, putting his hands on his hips and glaring angrily at the coach, upset that he wasted his day doing something he may not have had to do at all.

"No I didn't! I didn't waste your time! You taught Buford the values & essentials to having a healthy lifestyle, and that, my friend, is _not _a day wasted."

Phineas stared down the coach for a moment, with the only thing breaking the silence being the sound of Buford puking violently in the distance, apparently the result of Doofenshmirtz's pill. "No...you wasted my time. Well, forget you guys! I'm going home!." Phineas turned his back to the coach, and walked out the door, with his friends staring at him as he walked away arrogantly.

"Is he always this stuck up and arrogant?" The caoch asked Isabella, who was staring at him in a lovestruck frenzy again.

"No. No he's not. But that's what makes him so attractive when he is."

* * *

**During the Credits**

Later that night, Perry walked casually into the Danville Karaoke Bar, having gotten an invitation by Major Monogram to listen to him sing tonight. He took a seat at the table, order a tap water, and then prepared for the show.

"Ladies and gentlemen, plese give it up for our next act, Francis Monogram and his wife, singing a duet of r'Don't Go Breaking My Heart"." Everyone applauded Monogram and his wife as they entered the stage with microphones in their hands. The karaoke machine loaded up as the music started playing.

_**Monogram: Don't go breaking my heart  
Monogram's Wife: I couldn't if I tried**_

Unfortunately, every time Monogram's wife sang a lyric, she rattled her microphone creating horrible static feedback. That, on top of her lousy singing voice caused everyone mental & emotional anguish, something he was hoping to avoid this time.

**_Monogram: Honey if I get restless  
Monogram's Wife: Baby you're not that kind._**

Once again, horrible feedback from her terrible voice. Everyone covered their ears,, including Perry. Monogram started sweating, pulling his shirt collar to calm his nerves. Mongram's wife did not know how horrible her singing voice truly was, and he didn't have the heart to tell her. Sadly, it was costing them a huge audience tonight. People began leaving in disgust, yelling and shouting, and the two of them just kept going.

**_Monogram: Don't go breaking my heart  
Monogram's Wife: You take the weight off of me._**

Everybody once again scsreamed at the horror that was her voice. This time, they all have had enough of the bad singing,, so everybody but Perry got up and stormed out of the club while they simply continued singing. Of course, they stopped after the two of them realized that nobody was there except for Monogram's most loyal agent. They looked on in horror. Perry didn't have the guts to clap for them, but did not attempt to boo them either. "Hey, where'd everybody go?" Monogram's wife asked.

"I don't know. It seems as if everybody's disappeared for some reason." He replied. "I mean, I'm sure it wasn't because of our singing. That's for sure. I mean, we were wonderful. I-I mean--" He looked down at his agent, seeing him shake his head. Monogram took in a deep breath and turned to his wife. "I'm sorry, but it's time you knew the truth. Honey, your voice sounds like a thousand broken Beejeys records."

**End of Episode 11b!**

**Next Time: Phineas & Ferb attempt to make the perfect ice cream.**

**Expected Update: Look for it anytime after February 27th.**


	15. 12a: Ice Creamed

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 12a: Ice Creamed**

**Episode Summary: Phineas, Ferb, & friends travel to outer space to get asteroids to make the coldest & tastiest ice cream known to mankind in order to beat the hottest day of the summer. What they don't know is that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is the cause of the massive heat wave.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was a bright a sunny day...perhaps too sunny. The sun was boiling over the Tri-State Area in an intense heat wave, a freaky heat wave, as some called it. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, even Irving was huddled under the big oak tree in Phineas & Ferb's backyard, listening to the radio.

"Good morning, Danville. I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I"m Diane Simmons. And this is special coverage of the freaky heat wave that hit the Tri-State late last night."

"Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz has officially declared this day as the hottest day in Danville history, with a current temperature of 113 degrees, and the temperature is expected to only rise as the day progresses."

Everybody groaned upon hearing that as Phineas shut the radio off. Since it was so hot, they were reduced to wearing their swimsuits even though it was too hot to swim today. "OK, this is ridiculous!" He said angrily as he stood up. "We're supposed to be having the time of our lives during the summer. Instead, we're under a shady tree sweating our butts off!" He wiped a lot of sweat that was dripping down his forehead, quickly becoming tense.

"Oh come on, Phineas. It's not so bad." Isabella said, standing up and walking over to her sweating boyfriend. She put her hands on his shoulders in order to calm him down, kissing his cheek. "I mean, I'm OK with just sitting under this shady tree with my sweet baboo."

"Really? Wow, girls have unbelievably low standards. No offense, but I don't want to smell like a white-trash boxer for the next 3 days. Now come on! We need to keep ourselves cool. It's only going to get hotter. And I think I have an idea." He turned to his friends. "What do kids use most often to stay cool during the summer?"

"Lemonade!" Baljeet shouted.

"Oh. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. OK, what do kids use most often _after _lemonade?"

All of the kids pondered on that thought for a moment while Phineas waited for them to figure it out. It only took them a couple of seconds to figure it out. "Ice cream!" All of the kids shouted at once.

"Yeah. Ice cream! My house has tons of it!"

"Oh, sorry to disappoint you, deary. But I'm afraid we don't have any more ice cream." Lawrence said, coming out of the home, holding a tub of melted ice cream. "This dastardly heat has caused all of our delicious ice cream to melt."

All of the kids moaned and groaned. Their one shot at cooling down was gone.

"That's why Lawrence and I are going to the supermarket to get some more ice cream." Linda said, coming out of the house and joining them all outside. "We'll be gone for a while. If you guys get too hot, there's a fan inside you can use."

"Thanks, mom. We'll be fine." The triangle-headed boy assured his parents as they headed off to the car, driving to the supermarket to get some more ice cream. The kids were left behind to sweat.

"Alright. Now that our parents are gone, we can get down to business! Come on! We're going to make the coldest and tastiest ice cream in the entire world! Or...at least in the Tri-State Area."

"But Phineas, you heard your mother." Baljeet said.

"Yeah, all of the ice cream melted." Isabella added.

"Don't worry. We have a back-up plan. But first...where's Perry?"

* * *

The boys' platypus, Perry, was already in his lair. As he walked slowly to his chair, he began sweating out lots and lots of milk (**Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?**) He finally made it to his desk, where he found his boss on the screen, also sweating & drinking a lemonade. "Good morning, Agent P. Please help yourself to this lemonade we whipped up." A glass of ice cold lemonade popped up from beneath Perry's desk. Perry reached for it quickly and took a big gulp out of it, consuming almost half of it at once. "Boy, that hits the spot, doesn't it, Agent P? Anyway, our sources have discovered that this massive heat wave we're in right now has been caused by none other than Dr. Doofenshmirtz. We need you to get over to him and stop him right away before we all melt in this heat!"

Perry weakly saluted his boss, took his half full cup of lemonade, and flew off to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair.

Inside his lair, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was wearing a device on his head that popped out a small umbrella, an umbrella that helped keep him very cool in the hot weather. He was watching out his window, observing everyone suffer in the intense heat. Suddenly, Perry the Platypus broke through one of the windows to get his attention.

"Perry the Platypus..." The doctor said sinisterly, turning around to face the platypus. "As usual, your timing is unpeccable. And by that I mean, COMPLETELY PECCABLE!" Suddenly, and umbrella fell by Perry, and once the pole got wedged into the ground, the tips of the umbrella produced laser beams that prevented him from getting out. "And now, Perry the Platypus, you, like everyone else in the Tri-State Area will sweat like pigs and eventuall collapse from dehydration! But first--" He ran over to his nemesis and turned on a small fan for him, so he wouldn't completely keel over. "I'm not totally evil. I don't want you to get a heat stroke. I just want you to sweat...alot. Anyway,"

Doofenshmirtz walked over to his newest "-inator" covered by a blanket, where he pulled the blanket off, revealing a giant yellow laser pointing out the open roof. "Behold! The heat waveinator! This, Perry the Platypus, is what I used to cause this heat wave! This baby sends out a mssive ball of radiated energy into the atmosphere, where it explodes on impact, and spreads its pent-up energy across the Tri-State Area. And the best part is, I've only needed to use it twice today to get it as hot as it is already, and it's still getting hotter. After I activate my device a third time, the remperature will rise to an unprecedented 140 degress Fahrenheit, which is 60 degrees Celsius! Nobody will be able to survive that...except for me of course. You notice this umbrella covering my head? Yes, well I've designed it to block out all the sun's rays from penetrating my body, so while everybody else sweats, I will stay nice and cool!"

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb had brought their sweaty friends to their garage, where they were about to reveal their big plan for the day. "This is it." Phineas said, opening the garage. They revealed to them a giant rocket with small to it. The kids wanted to 'ooh' and 'ahh', but they had no idea what they were looking at.

"Um, Phineas, I don't mean to sound like a downer. But, what are we looking at here?" Isabella asked them.

"We're going to go up into space and gather as many asteroids as we can."

"Why? What will that do?" Baljeet pondered.

"According to our research, the asteroids in the asteroid belt are actually ice cubes, the coldest ice cubes in the known universe...with a temperature of -50 degrees. We're gonna get as many as we can with these thermoses, and then, when we come back to Earth, we'll make the coldest, most delicious, and completely unmealtable ice cream in the Tri-State Area. Who's with us?"

Everyone cheered instantly, desperate for some relief.

"Alright, then. Everyone put on space suits and get in the rocket. We leave in T-minus 2 minutes."

* * *

"And now, Perry the Platypus," Dr. Doofenshmirtz pulled out a big remote. "I will activate my device a third time, and shoot the temperature up to unprecedented levels!" He pressed the big button on his remote. His device began to charge up. _Launch sequence in T-minus 2 minutes. _"It...It takes a few minutes to charge up. But...in 3 minutes, give or take a few seconds, it will all be worth it. 140 degree weather, here I come, baby!" Waiting for the thing to activate began to become unbearable. Doofenshmirtz was becoming impatient. "So...see any good movies lately?"

* * *

Nearly 2 minutes later, the kids had gotten into their space suits and got into the small rocket. Phineas and Ferb were up front, working the machine. "Everyone strapped in?"

"Yes sir!" Everyone in the back called out.

"Alright then. Take off in T-minus 5...4...3...2...1...Ignition."

Ferb pressed the ignition button as the engines started firing up. "Lift off." He said, giving Phineas a thumbs up as the rocket shot off into the sky, ready to penetrate the atmosphere. Little did they know that Doofenshmirtz's device was also ready for firing, and it took off at the exact same time they did, and so, without knowing it, the energy ball and the rocket with the kids in it collided. As they did, all of the kids were consumed with a sudden heat wave, one that rocked their world.

"Whoa, Phineas, turn the heat off!" Isabella complained.

"We don't have heat." Phineas replied.

"Well then why are we so hot?" Buford inquired.

* * *

Dr. Doofenshmirtz read his on-screen thermometer, waiting anxiously for the temperature to rise up dramatically. But for five minutes, the temperature only rose from 116 degress to 118 degrees, which surprised him. He was expecting something bigger. Granted, he wasn't expecting it all at once, but after several minutes had passed and it had still not gotten hotter than 118 degrees, he knew something was not right. "Wait a second. Something isn't right here. The temperature should be climbing at an unprecedented rate. In five minutes, it's only gone up two degrees. I mean, not that 2 degrees isn't a big increase. Well, it's not. But I just--oh, forget it! I'll just charge it up a fourth time. And then, I'll have an unprecedented heat wave sweep across the Tri-State Area."

Perry was not trying desperately to break out of Doofenshmirtz's trap. He first tried to run head on, but the laser shield stopped him and knocked him back. After that he attempted to destroy the umbrella with a chain saw. But the umbrella was proven to be indestructable. Luckily, Doofenshmirtz was far too busy checking his temperature readings, so he did not see what Perry attempted to do next. Using all of his muscle strength, Perry attempted to lift up the pole out of the ground. He believed that if he got it out of the ground, the lasers would shut off automatically. He was right, but he wasn't strong enough to take the pole out.

Panting and out of breath, Perry ultimately decided that the best way to shut the lasers off would be to damage the pole. So he took out a couple of explosive pellets he was provided with out from his hat, and set them down near the pole before running to a safe distance, and allowing the pellets to explode. They let out a very small explosion, but it was enough to gather the evil scientist's attention, and bent the pole so the lasers shut off. Now free, the platypus charged towards Doofenshmirtz. "Perry the Platypus! You escaped!"

* * *

The kids' rocket took them all the way to the asteroid belt. The impact of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's "Heat Waveinator" had worn off, so now all the kids were thinking about was what they were going to do once they got the asteroids and returned home. "We're here, guys!" Phineas shouted, as they slowly approached the Asteroid Belt. "This is it. Grab your thermoses and start sucking up some asteroids. Your thermoses are already set to "suck" so just open them up and let them do the rest."

With their space suits on, everyone in the rocket grabbed a thermos and jumped out of the rocket. Opening up their devices, they floated over to a big batch of asteroids and sucked them up, with the image of cold and refreshing ice cream in their minds.

Everyone took a different part of the asteroid belt, and opened their thermoses, allowing them to suck up as manyasteroids as they could hold. "Ooh, pretty colors." Some of them remarked at different times.

After everyone had a bunch of asteroids in their thermoses, and were pretty darn sick of the atmosphere, or lack of atmosphere in space, they piled into the rocket. "Everyone ready? Alright, back to Earth we go!" And then the rocket flew them back to their home town. They crashed landed in the front yard in no time at all, and piled out, holding their still intact thermoses.

"So, now that we have all of these asteroids, what are we supposed to do with them?" Isabella pondered.

"Like I said before, we're going to make the coldest & most delicious ice cream in the world! And that's exactly what we're going to do."

"But how can you make anything out of these space rocks?" Buford asked the boy.

"That's easy. Follow us." Phineas and Ferb led the kids to their backyard, where there was a giant ice cream maker right in the middle of the yard. "Behold, our giant Ice Cream Maker! We built it last night. With this, all we have to do is dump the collected asteroids into the Ice Cream Maker, and let it do the rest." The kids all walked over to the machine, opened their thermoses, and dumped their asteroids into the giant hole on top of the machine. Phinea spressed the On button and in an instant, the machine started shaking around fierecely, and some clanging could be heard inside. That meant that the machine was doing its job.

"How long until we get ice cream?" Buford asked. "Buford's getting hot again!"

"No need to worry, Buford. It shouldn't be too long before our tasty treat is--" A ding was heard from the machine. "Ready!" They ran to the dispencer area where five bowls of ice cream popped out of the machine. "OK, then. It's time for the big test." They each took out a spoon and dipped 'em into their ice cream bowl, taking a bite out of the freezing and yet delicious taste of their creation. As soon as they swallowed, their taste buds were overwhelemed with joy. "Wow!" Phineas shouted pulling the spoon out of his mouth. "This is the tastiest ice cream I've ever had!"

The kids all started agreeing simultaniously, taking another bite out of their ice cream. "I feel cooler already." Isabella remarked.

"Me too!" Baljeet agreed.

"This is the best stuff I've ever had!" Buford also added. The kids quickly finished up their bowls of ice cream, and in minutes, were starting to feel the cooling effects of the asteroids. "And now Buford hates that it's gone."

"Don't worry, Buford. We collected tons of asteroids during our time in space, so we should have tons of ice cream left to enjoy today." As Phineas was about to turn the machine on again, the kids all noticed someone passing by their house. It was a man, about average height, who was litereally suffocating from the heat. He was reduced to crawling on the sidewalks to get around. "Oh no! That poor man is in trouble!" Phineas shouted out. "We should go help him!" He turned on the machine again, and another bowl of ice cream with a spoon in it came out. He grabbed the ice cream bowl and ran over to the man. "Here, sir. Tkae this ice cream. You look like you need it."

The man grabbed the bowl slowly and took a bite out of it. Immediately, some relief was coming back to him. So he took another bite. After a few bites, he was able to stand up. He was shocked by how tasty it was and how it wasn't melting. "Wow! This stuff is delicious!"

"Glad you like it. We made it ourselves, using asteroids and real cream." Phineas said to the pleasured man who took a quick double-take on his ice cream and at Phineas.

"Whatever. Aren't you kids a little young to be in the ice cream making industry."

"I-I don't think so."

"Well, great. Anyway, thanks for the ice cream. I feel much better now." He felt so good that he was able to casually stroll back to his home.

"Bye now! Stay cool." The kids all waved him goodbye. "Hey guys, you know what I just realized. We're not the only ones that are suffering from this intense heat. There are thousands of people in the Tri-State Area that are probably dying of the heat."

"What are you saying, Phineas?" Baljeet asked him.

"I'm saying we should use our new found treat to help everyone in town beat the heat."

"Even your crazy psychopathic sister who's at that military school that's at the edge of the Tri-State Area?" Baljeet inquired, which lead to Phineas's attitude souring rather quickly. He puased for a moment before answering again.

"Yes. Even her. Come on, guys. We're burning daylight."

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, Perry and the evil scientist were locked in an intense battle as Perry struggled to find a way to reverse the effects of Doofenshmirtz's Heat Waveinator. He tried to knock the scientist on his back several times and then make a run for the machine. But each time, Doofenshmirtz was able to get back up and tackle Perry down before he got a chance to test the machine.

"Oh no you don't, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted back to him after Perry was successfully able to reach the machine. "It's not as simple as reverse my machine's effects because...er, well, there _is_ no reverse mode on my machine! I thought ahead this time, and built my creation so that there was absolutely no way you could use it to reverse its effects! Ha! In your face, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry turned around and faced the doctor in pure shock. Even though he unplugged the machine, there was no way he could win now...

"But..." Or was there. "You _could_ use this--" Doofenshmirtz pulled out another ray gun. "It's my other latest invention. I call it the "Snow Dayinator! It launches a wave of pre cold energy into the atmosphere, thus lowering the temperature to near-freezing levels, which would counteract the effects of my Heat Waveinator." Suddenly the evil scientist realized that he had just explained to Perry how he could stop him. "Oh...I think I've said too much..." Then Perry pounced on him with everything he had and grabbed the ray gone out of his hand. "Ow! I think you squished my ear!"

Perry ran to the center of the room, right under the open roof, and aimed it at the sky. He pulled the trigger, and in an instant, a light blue ray in the shape of lightning shot up into the air. Under the assumption that something was supposed to happen immediately, Perry was disappointed when nothing did happen. "Oh, it takes a couple of minutes to fully take effect, especially if it's on the low setting." Doofenshmirtz was shell-shocked when Perrry revealed that his ray gun was set on its highest setting. "Oh no! It's on its highest setting!"

Knowing things could get chilly rather quickly, Perry set out to the window and flew out on his jetpack, leaving the evil scientist to feel the effects of is ray gun. In fact, just seconds after Perry left, the cold front started moving on and it began to get chilly for him. "Oh no! I'm getting cold! Oh, I shouldn't have told Perry how he could reverse my effects. Why didn't I stop myself!? Curse me and my big mouth!"

* * *

A couple of minutes later, after Phineas had made several phone calls, there were several trucks in front of their house. The kids had made several more bowls of freezing ice cream, and were now loading them onto the trucks so they could go around the Tri-State Area and deliver them to sweltering people who were in need of them. "Here's the last one."

"Alright, boys. We'll get these ice cream bowls delivered right away." The delivery guy said to Phineas. "But, uh, aren't you a litte young to be inventing the coldest ice cream ever?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Oh. Well, then, great. See you kids later, and try to stay cool." He got into his truck and drover off with the ice cream inside it, as did the many trucks that did behind him.

"Bye guys, and may the cold be with you." Phineas turned to his friends. "Well, I think we did good today. So who's up for another round?"

Everyone cheered and raised their hands as they returned to their backyard to fire up their ice cream maker once again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was not ready to give up yet. Perry might have unplugged his machine and began to reverse the effects of it using his Snow Dayinator, Doofenshmirtz believed he could return the heat to normal, or at least to what it was, by replugging it in and turning it on. "You think you may have beaten me, Perry the Platypus. True, you've turned off my machine and shot a cold wave of energy into the air, but that's all you did. I can easily replug this in and shoot another wave of hot energy into the air."

He plugged his invention into the wall and pressed the On button. "And just wait until you see what it can do if I set it to Level 10. By doing this, I can see the temperature increase up to 175 degress!" He held up the Snow Dayinator. "It will be as if Perry the Platypus had never used--" He accidentally pulled the trigger and shot it at his machine just as it was powering up. "Oh no!" The machine began to shake violently, overloading from the mix of hot and cold. "I've overloaded my machine!"

_Self-destruct sequence activated._ A computerized voice said as the shaking got worse and the machine started shooting lightning out. _Self destruction in 10...9...8..._

"W-W-Wait a minute. That's impossible! I didn't even install a self-destruct program in it this time."

_3...2...1..._

**_BOOM!_** The device exploded, taking with it a considerable amount of the building. Dr. Doofenshmirttz was so close to the machine upon explosion that he was sent flying in some direction and ended up landing hard on the cold ground, right next to another evil scientist. (In actuality, it was Professor Poofenplotz, Pinky's nemesis, but I'm assuming that by now they still haven't met face to face.) They both moaned and sat up, dusting themselves off, having bee defeated once again by the nemeses.

"Cure you, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

"Curse you, Pinky the Chihuahua!" Poofenplotz shouted, shaking her fist in the air. "Humph! Secret agents."

"I know, right? So annoying."

"You would think that us evil villains would have the advantage over them because we're so much bigger."

Doofenshmirtz looked at Poofennplotz, feeling like he was just insulted. "Bigger? A-Are you saying that I'm fat!?"

"What?"

"You are! You think I'm fat! Well I'll tell _you _something, missy! You're no Queen of Genovia, either!"

"Oh? Well, er...at least I don't wear a lab coat." On that note, Doofenshmirtz tackled Poofenplotz and started clawing her like crazy, having been offended once too often.

**End of Episode 12a!**

**I may not be able to get the next episode up as quickly as I had hoped, simply because I've become ill. Sorry, but please understand.**

**A/N: Remember "Bubbles Boys" and "Isabella and the Temple of Sap" where one was told with Phineas as the main character and one was told with Isabella as the main character? Well, that's what I'm going to do next time.**

**Next Time: See how Candace handled the heat at school, and if she's made any progress in overcoming her obsession with Phineas & Ferb? Plus, watch Pinky the Chihuahua battle Professor Poofenplotz.**


	16. 12b: Candace and the Tub of Cream

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 12b: Candace and the Tub of Cream**

**Episode Summary: Candace tries to break her obsession with busting her brothers in order to gain Phineas's trust back. Meanwhile, Pinky the Chihuahua battles Professor Poofenplotz to stop her from selling phony air conditioners. Takes place during the day of the previous episode.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was boiling over the Tri-State Area. The massive heat wave (which, remember, was caused by Dr. Doofenshmirtz) was taking its toll on everybody, especially those at Edwin Spangler's Military School. The one who was most affected by it was Candace. She was reduced to a shell of her former self due to the heat, lying in bed, sweating through all her pores. As her roommate Tara came in with a wet washcloth, Candace sat up and moaned. "Oh, why is it so hot today?"

"I don't know. But the weather stations are predicting it to stay this hot all day. I'm gonna have to get another washcloth." She replied, plopping herself onto her bed and putting the washcloth on her forehead.

"I've never heard of Danville being so hot. It's almost unnatural. I bet Phineas and Ferb are up to this." She said up angrily and clenched her fists. "I'm gonna bust them for sure this time!"

"Isn't that why you're here in the first place?" Tara asked. "Because you're obsessed with getting them in trouble?"

"What!? I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH GETTING THEM IN TROUBLE!"

"Yes you are. You tried to get them in trouble when they weren't even doing anything."

"N-No! You see, they were just doing it to-to ruin my day! Yeah! That's what they were doing! The little mutts!"

Tara looked over at Candace and shook her head, making Candace's face fall. "Pathetic."

"OK! Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a problem. I guess that's why Phineas thinks I hate him, and now he hates me."

"Face it, Candace. Your stupid obsession with getting them in trouble just because they could get away with stuff you couldn't has taken over your life. And as a result, you've made one of the few people in your life that still actually believe in you turn his back on you. Phineas used to look up to you. And now he won't even spit in your direction."

"Why would he want to spit at me? What could he possibly gain from that?"

"The point is, if you want to earn his trust back, you're going to have to show him that you've changed. You need to give up this obsession. It's destroyed almost all of your relationships."

"You're absolutely right. But how can I do it?"

"Well, if you really want...I'll help you."

"Thanks. I don't think I could do it without--" Candace and Tara were hit with another dose of the heat wave before Candace could finish her sentence. "Man, why is is so hot today?"

* * *

In Danville, everybody was feeling the heat, including Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro, who was forced to shut off her heater and use a bunch of hand-made fans to cool herself off. "Ay, papi, it's so hot today. I can't even cool off with my air conditioner! Oh, I hope Pinky's OK. He hates this heat." Suddenly she realized that she hadn't seen Pinky all day. She sat up from the couch and looked around. "Hey, where _is_Pinky?"

Pinky was already in the street, in his secret agent hat. He opened up the manhole to the sewer and jumped in. He sprinted in one direction and came up on another manhole in the ceiling. Pinky climbed up the wall and kicked the manhole in, and jumped out of the sewer. It was now that he discovered that he was in his secret lair, with his boss, Wanda Acronym, waiting on the big screen.

"Ahh, Agent Pinky. It's Professor Poofenplotz. This time she's planning to sell misleading air conditioners. It's all very suspicious. So get out there and stop her right away."

Pinky saluted and headed out the door.

* * *

Back at the school, Candace and Tara were eating breakfast in the cafeteria, along with all the other girls in the school, who were rough housing a bit. Candace wasn't paying attention, but pretty soon a couple of girls got into a fight behind her. Apparently they were fighting over who should get the last Sloppy Joe. Tara noticed that Candace didn't get upset over that; she was expecting Candace to jump onto the scene with a desire to bust them. So she was shocked when it didn't happen.

"I don't get you, Candace." She said. "You're so obsessed with busting your brothers when they do silly things like building an animal translator or spicing up the yearly Tri-State Area Unification Day. Yet those girls are pummeling each other half to death and you're not saying anything about it. I would expect you to go running to Spangler to tattle on them by now."

"Oh those are just girls being girls. What Phineas and Ferb do is completely different. They try to ruin my life by annoying me with their stupid & pointless activities"

"Do you even hear yourself talk?"

"What?"

"OK, I'm going to try and get it through your head. Boys -- they build stuff and have wrestling matches."

"Uh-huh..."

"Girls -- they play with barbie dolls, talk about boys, and have a nervous breakdown when they get a zit on a very important date."

Candace blinked a couple of times at Tara, and tried to process it all. "I-I don't understand what you're--you're...saying."

"This is going to be a lot harder than I thought."

* * *

Pinky approached Professor Poofenplotz's evil lair on his jet pack, with no idea what to expect from her. Slowly coming up on one of the windows, Pinky believed he had the element of surprise with him. Unfortunately, Professor Poofenplotz was expecting him, and had a trap ready the minute he opened up the window. He was caught in a giant plastic bottle that fell from the ceiling.

"Pinky the Chihuahua! How nice of you to drop in." SHe said to her nemesis, walking over to the bottle. "You look like a caged mutt. Oh, that's right. You _are_a caged mutt. I suppose that I should explain my evil scheme to you now. Well, it's quite simple, actually. As I'm sure you've already notice, there is this horrible heat wave that's hit the Tri-State Area. Well, it's these kinds of heat waves that I've come to despise about summer. I mean, I can understand temperatures in the 80's and 90's, but come on. We're talking about 100 and 110 degree weather today. That's kind of ridiculous, don't you think?"

"But, instead of complaining all day, I've decided to seize this opportunity to unleash my newest evil scheme. And now, Pinky," She walked back to the other side of the room and walked through a door into a different room, and came out carrying a huge air conditioner. It was heavy, and she was straining herself. "Behold, my latest and greatest invention: Poofenplotz Extra-Special Freezy Breeze Air Conditioner!"

**_Poofenplotz Extra-Special Freezy Breeze!_**

"I designed this early this morning after I heard of the heat wave coming our way. But this isn't just any ordinary air conditioner. Oh no, this is a special air conditioner. Because, despite its clever and catchy name, it's not _actually_an air conditioner. You see, Pinky, this contraption is design to produce a quick burst of freezing air into its living environment to give the impression that it is cooling the house down. But after that, it begins to produce small, slow bursts of hot air into the home, which, overtime, will heat up the home again. But because of the intense heat wave the buyers will simply assume another warm front is coming and will thus turn up the air conditioner, which will then unleash an even colder wave of air into the home before slowly heating it up again, sending it into an endless cycle between hot and cold."

She made her way back to the bottle and stared Pinky down. "I've already told all the media about my latest creation, and I'm going to showcase it to everyone in the Tri-State Area later this afternoon. Once I advertise this new baby on the air, I'll be a millionaire in no time! Then I'll have enough money to buy city hall! I'm going to show all those who say nay that you indeed _can_ buy city hall! And the best part is that there's nary a thing you can do about it." Poofenplotz stood triumphately and stared Pinky down. She was expecting Pinky to start surrendering, but all he did was eyeball her. "What? 'Nary', it's a word. It means 'nothing'."

Finished with her gloating, she exited the room, and left the building, heading towards a truck filled with her air conditioners. "So long, Pinky the Chihuahua! Next time you see me, I'll be the richest person in Danville!"

* * *

Back at the school, Candace and Tara were sitting in the empty broom closet, away from everyone else. Tara was going to try and do whatever she could to help Candace to break her obsession with her brothers so she could have a normal life.

"Alright, Candace, this is going to be tough. But I think I can help you finally get over Phineas & Ferb." Tara said holding a stack of index cards. "I'm going to give you my very own "Tattletale Crash Course"."

"OK..."

"So in this exercise, I'm going to read to you a situation, and then you tell me what you should do. Remember, the point of this exercise is to avoid tattling as often as possible. Understand?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Alright, then. Let's begin." She took out one index card. "Situation #1: Your brother builds you a nice birdhouse to house your new pet bird--"

"QUICK! CALL MOM! PHINEAS AND FERB HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!" Candace screamed at the top of her lungs before Tara was even finished.

"Why? Why would you tell your mom to get him in trouble? He just built you a nice birdhouse without being asked. You should be grateful!"

"No! Don't you see! He did it just to annoy me! You can even ask Stacy." By this time, Tara did not know who Stacy was. "Oh, wait, wait...I think I'm getting what you're trying to do. OK, let's go again."

And not wanting to care, she simply moved on to the next index card. "OK. Situation #2: Your brother is playing kickball with a bunch of friends. The ball rolls into the street. Your brother goes out into the street, not looking both ways. A car comes speeding down and hits your brother, breaking almost all the bones in his body. Do you A) Leave your brother to suffer his injuries. B) Call for an ambulance and then your parents. Or C) Do The Hokey-Pokey?)

Candace pondered on that thought for a moment, going through every possible scenario in her head. Then, after a moment, she responded. "Well, it's just boys being boys. So they get a little scrapped up from an accident. Doesn't mean they need to whine about it. I mean, one time, I fell off a bunch of rocks and sprained my ankle and I couldn't walk for a whole week. I couldn't do anything to bust Phineas and Ferb!"

Tara shook her head again, cupping her eyebrows in frustration. Candace didn't understand what it was from. "Wow. I had no idea you were _this_ nuts."

"What?"

"Candace, did you just hear anything you said? You freaked out because your brother built you a nice birdhouse, but would look the other way in a heartbeat when he gets hit by a car."

"I don't follow."

"Any sane peson knows that when immediate danger happens, the first thing you do is to call an adult. That's why they invented 911, dummy!"

"Hey! Don't call me dummy! And for your information, I know all about 911! In fact, I've never used it once in my life, not even after Phineas and Ferb broke their legs back when I was ten! They went three whole days without so much as seeing a doctor! So ha! And ha!"

Shaking her head in dismay, Tara stood up and slowly walked out of the room. "I don't even think I should dignify that with a response."

"What? What'd I say?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Poofenplotz's lair, Pinky was trying to find a way to get out of the plastic bottle. The secret agent dog tok out a chainsaw and started drilling a giant hole into the side of the bottle. A few seconds later, a giant hole was carved out. The plastic dropped out of the other side, and Pinky was freed. He took out his jet pack and flew out of the building.

In desperate search of Professor Poofenplotz, Pinky flew all around town. He was looking for a giant truck that had a bunch of air conditioners in it or surrounding it. Unfortunately, since his divison's technology was not yet up to par in comparison with Perry's divison, it took him quite a while to make it around the whole town.

This gave Poofenplotz the chance to pull off her evil scheme. She was at City Hall, with all kinds of media there capturing the whole event.

"Good afternoon, I'm Trisha Takanawa. And this is a Channel 5 Action News Special Report. We are moments away from the live presentation of the new air conditioner model known as the "Extra-Special Freezy Breeze". I have here with me the brilliant mind behind this revolutionary device, Miss Anna Poofapeltz."

"A-Actually, it's Anna _Poofenplotz_."

"Right. So tell me, Stu-ba-deltz." Poofenplotz's face fell again. "What was your inspiration behind the creation of this device?"

"Well, Trisha, like everyone else here, I, too, was suffering greatly from this unnatural heat wave. I didn't have anything else going on, so I figured "What the heck? Why not build myself a working air conditioner?", since I didn't already have one. After I messed around for a few hours, I created the "Extra Special Freezy Breeze"."

"Fascinating." Trisha turned to the camera. "And there you have it. The very tool that could help get us through this ridiculous weather came from a woman with absolutely no social life of her own." Poofenplotz's jaw dropped as she growled. "You can see now what this heat wave is doing to us. It is causing mass hysteria, mass desperation, and it has even caused Growing Pains actor Andrew Koenig to go missing. If you have no idea what or who I am talking about, then it's probably because you don't have any gray hairs yet. Back to you, Tom."

The scene switched back to the newsroom.

"Thank you Trisha. And we'll have continuing coverage of this live press conference as it happens."

"When we come back, a Channel 5 exclsuive, as we take a deep lok into the world of addictive gambling."

Tom, her co-anchor, squinted his eyes and threw his papers away in anger. "You -- You silly twit! Don't you get it!? If this old bat doesn't pull through for us, _we_ are going to die!!" Poofenplotz, who could still hear them on the other line, was offended by the phrase "old bat".

"Oh I knew it, Tom. At the first dark cloud, you fall apart!" In anger, Tom reached out and started throttling Diane violently. "Help me!!"

**A/N: In case you don't get it, that was a "Osmosis Jones" reference.**

Back at City Hall, everyone got set up for the big press conference. Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz took his place at the podium while the media gathered around him. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to introduce the newest in your everyday heat wave relief...Miss Anna Poofelstoff!"

Once again, he got her name wrong. But she didn't care. She was just thrilled to be able to scam people out of good, hard-earned money. "Thank you, thank you. It is an honor to be standing before you today with my new revolutionary air conditioner." She began making her speech as Pinky arrived shortly after. He made sure to stay hidden so nobody would see him. "...and with this new piece of equipment, I can assure you that we as a town will beat this heat wave, and show mother nature who's boss!" Pinky noticed an air conditioner lying beside him. It was working perfectly, so he decided to fiddle around with it to see if there was a way of disassembling it before she started her demonstration.

"And now, I'd like to ask for a volenteer from the audience to help me demonstrate this new invention." Too late, as she had already called up a sucker in the audience to help her out. Pinky knew that he didn't have much time, so instead of disassembling it like he planned to, he instead decided to modify it, so it would do what it was designed to do, but also backfire on Poofenplotz.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tara was still trying to help Candace break her habit of wanting to get Phineas & Ferb into trouble. Since her first idea didn't work, Tara decided to try something else. She took her back to their rooms, where their pillows were painted on with pictures of her brothers, Phineas on one pillow, and Ferb on the other one. "Uh, what is this?" Candace asked upon entering the room.

"Well, my first idea was a total bust -- no pun intended -- so I'm going to try something else."

"OK...like what?"

"It's obvious that you're holding some kind of animosity against your brothers."

"Uh, duh!"

"So...I've drawn your brothers onto our pillows."

"What's the point of this?"

"If you continue to let this animosity and anger build up in you, you're going to have another episode like you did when you went home."

"But now that Phineas hates me, what could I possibly have to lose?"

"Your integrity?"

"Ooh, that's a big one."

"Look, I drew their faces on these pillows so it would give you the chance to do whatever you want to them."

"I don't follow."

"You can say anything to them, you can do anything to them. Let your anger out in any way you want to."

"Oh...OK." Candace walked over to the pillows and sat down in a nearby chair. She stared at the two pillows for what seemed like forever. Tara was expecting Candace to jump all over them with swearing and fighting moves, but the truth was, Candace didn't have the heart to lay a finger on them or even say anything bad. Phineas and Ferb weren't bad people at all. Their crazy ideas simply annoyed her...a lot. "I can't do it!" She finally screamed after sitting there for about five minutes.

"Why? What's wrong? I thought you'd be jumping for joy with the chance to call them out!"

"I can't, Tara! I just can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm just not that kind of person. I mean, Phineas and Ferb aren't mean at all! Really, they're not! It's just their stupid ideas and the fact that they have one every single day that annoys me. But if I were to sit here and just yell at them and hit them for no reason, I'd be no better than O.J. Simpson. I mean, do you really think I'm _that_ heartless?"

They paused for a moment. Tara considered her choice of words carefully. "Yes. Yes I do."

"Well, I'm not! What bothers me is that they can just get away with it. I mean, if _I_ were as clever as those two twerps, I bet I could get away with such outlandish activities."

"Well, why don't you try it?"

"Try what?"

"Why don't you do an outlandish activity like Phineas and Ferb do? Just pick a day this summer and build some crazy time machine or a big sailboat or something? See if you could get away with it, too."

"But...what would that prove?"

"I don't really know. But I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe if you had the satisfaction of knowing that you would be able to pull off such a crazy project like they do, you wouldn't have the urge to get them in trouble."

"Really? Y-You think so?"

"It's worth a shot." What they didn't notice was that while they were talking, a tray was delivered to their room. It had two bowls of ice cream on it, one for Candace, and one for Tara. But this wasn't just any bowl. It was a bowl of the special "ultra-cold ice cream" designed by Phineas and Ferb. "Hey, we got desert!" They walked over and picked up their bowls and started eating. Immediately, they felt relief from the heat wave. "Oh my goodness, thsi is so cold!"

"I know, right!?"

"I wonder who made it." Tara then saw that there was a note on the tray. She picked it up and read it. ""Utra-Cool and Totally Awesome Ice Cream." by Phineas and Ferb. Hmm, cool."

"Phineas and Ferb!? Oooh, I got them this time!!" Candace dropped her bowl and rushed over to the pay phone. But before she could dial, Tara stopped her.

"Wait a minute! You're actually going to bust them for making _ice cream_!?"

Candace blinked before answering. "Yeah, that's right. Because it's outlandish and ridiculous." And then she ran to the pay phone and dialed her mother to get them in trouble. "MOM! MOM!! PHINEAS ANSD FERB HAVE MADE AN EXTREMELY COLD ICE CREAM!! YOU GOTTA BUST THEM!!!"

"I wonder if it'll be too much to ask for a different roommate."

* * *

Meanwhile, Professor Poofenplotz was busy demonstrating her new air conditioner. Pinky had finished modifying the one she was going to use for testing. Poofenplotz grabbed the air conditioner and placed it up on a table on stage, while Pinky ducked for cover. "And now, I simply turn on the device, and whazam!" She flipped the switched and it instantly started working. "Instant relief." Right away the stranger felt a cool sensation all around him.

"Hey, this thing does work!"

"See? I told you." This was foollowed by several murmurs that spewed positvie comments about the device. The only downside to this was that Pinky's new modifications were now about to give this man the ride of his life, since the cool relief now disappeared and was followed by a sensation of pure, utter drenching heat.

"Hey...wait a minute...one minute it's refreshingly cool, and the next it's really hot."

"Yes, well, the heat _is_ unbearable out here--"

"No, no, no. It's not coming from the sky. I think...it's coming from this air conditioner." The man leaned into the air conditioner and instantly felt the intense heat. It literally started to give him third degree burns. "Oww! That hurt!" Then why did you put your face there, fool?

"Hey, that thing is a fraud!"

"That lady's trying to rip us off!"

"She wants us all to burn!

"Who stole my wallet!?"

"Let's get her!!" Everyone charged at Poofenplotz and started beating her up violently. One of the guys even took the air conditioner, and threw it so far into town that it would break upon impact. It wasn't long before she was half-conscious, so they dumped her onto the grass, and they all left. Having nothing left to give, Poofenplotz simply laid there, waiting for the heat to go awayShe was joined by Dr. Doofenshmirtz a few moments later, and only then did things start to cool down.

* * *

**During the Credits**

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet were sitting under the big oak tree in their backyard, enjoying their ice cream. Linda and Lawrence arrived soon after. "Hello, kids. Ooh, I see you're enjoying some ice cream." Lawrence said. "That's a wonderful treat for a day like this."

"But I thought all of our ice cream melted." Linda pointed out, holding a bag of freshly bought ice cream.

"It did. We made this ice cream from space rocks." Phineas told them. Linda and Lawrence simply laughed it off, believing it to be Phineas having an "imagination" again.

"Then I guess this is the "super-cold" ice cream Candace told me about."

Phineas's face suddenly fell, and Isabella swiftly moved in to be ready to comfort him. "C-Candace?"

"Yeah. Apparently, she got a taste of the ice cream and thought it was something I needed to "bust" you for."

His head hanged down as Isabella hugged him. "But we didn't do anything wrong. Why does she want us to get in trouble all the time?"

"I guess that's the way she is, Phineas."

"Oh well." He looked up and returned Isabella's hug. "It's too bad she's like that. 'Cause if she wasn't, then I would feel really bad for having done what I did to her."

"What are you talking about, Phineas?" Isabella asked.

"I put wild parsnips in her ice cream." He sat there, a bit smug, proud that he was about to get Candace. Everyone else simply stared at him, in surprise. Linda was the most surprised, considering that Phineas would never have done something like that while she was here. However, instead of getting mad, everyone simply laughed it off, considering that, when you think about it, it really was pretty funny. "What? She's allergic to parsnips, you know."

Isabella was still laughing her head off when her dog, Pinky, shoewd up, and got her attention by barking. "Oh, there you are, Pinky."

**End of Episode 12b!**

**So it looks like Candace is going to partake in an epic summer project of her own. Be on the lookout for that episode coming soon.**

**Next Time: Since Candace has been gone, Suzy Johnson has been bored out of her mind. So Phineas and Ferb try to cheer her up.**

**Expected Update: Check anytime after March 21st.**


	17. 13a: Search and Destroy

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 13a: Search and Destroy**

**Episode Summary: Ever since Candace was shipped off to military school, Suzy Johnson has been bored out of her mind. She's had no one to terrorize. So Jeremy asks Phineas and Ferb to help cheer her up. But, things take a turn for the worse when Suzy discovers that Jeremy is dating Stacy. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz invents a machine-powered karate gi in order to deal with someone who has been bullying him lately.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was up; it was a new day in Danville. Everyone was already up and about, including the Flynn-Fletcher family. Everyone was awake and alert, and Isabella was already over there as well. The kids were watching TV, waiting for their breakfast to digest before they got started on their day's project.

As they shut the TV off and started making their way to the front door, there was a knock. Phineas answered it and was surprised to see Jeremy and Suzy Johnson standing there. Jeremy was looking rather positive; Suzy, however, was looking a bit down on herself, something that concerned him.

"Hey Jeremy. What's the haps, big guy?" Phineas asked, cheery as ever.

"Hey guys. Stacy and I are going out on a date in the park, and my parents are out of town for the day, so I was hoping maybe you guys would babysit Suzy for me for a while." He kneeled down to his sister. "Would you like that, Suzy? Would you like uncles Phineas and Ferb to babysit you for a while?"

"Sure. Whatever..." Suzy said dejectedly, sighing hopelessly, stunning the two brothers & Isabella.

"What's the matter, Suzy?"

"Oh man. Ever since Candace was sent to that school, Suzy's been down in the dumps. I mean, even the mere mention of her name makes Suzy cringe. I think she liked her alot. Didn't you, Suzy?"

"Yes. Yes I did." _As far as you know._

"It always hurts when a close friend of yours moves away." Isabella said. "I mean, if Phineas were to move away and I'd never be able to see him again, I'd be devestated unimaginably."

"I'm sure Suzy will find a friend in Stacy."

Suzy's eyes suddenly opened as she turned to Jeremy. "Um, who's Stacy?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I never told you. You know that girl Candace used to hang out with? Stacy? Well, I'm going out with her now."

"You are, are you?" Suzy's creepy smile started popping out again, unbenounced to anyone of course. "Interesting." She started contemplating thoughts on what to do to Stacy to drive her away from Jeremy.

"I have to head out, now. Now Suzy, be good for Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella. OK?"

"OK, Jeremy!" Suzy and Jeremy hugged before he left and met up with Stacy at her house. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella took Suzy inside and brought them into the living room.

"Alright then, Suzy. We're gonna show you the best time of your life. Hopefully, that'll cheer you up out of your slump. Maybe petting Perry a few times will help you. Hey, where _is_ Perry?"

* * *

Perry was out in the backyard, with his secret agent hat on. He ran over to the big oak tree, knocked on it a couple of times, and waited for an opening. A hole opened up in the tree side; Perry stepped in and was shot down the tube towards his lair, where he had an incoming message from his boss, Major Monogram, on his big screen.

"Good morning, Agent P." Monogram said on the other line. "Our sources have tracked Doofenshmirtz to the Tri-State Area Karate Institution. What could he possibly benefit from taking karate lessons? Well...that's what we want you to find out. Good luck, Agent P."

He saluted Monogram and rushed out.

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Suzy were sitting on the couch, watching TV, the three formers trying to think of something to do with Suzy."

"What to do, what to do..." Phineas and Ferb were both completely stumped. Neither had any ideas at all. "Oh man, I wish we could think of something."

"I have an idea." Suzy barked up. "Why don't we all go to the park to play today?"

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella looked at Suzy for a moment while pondering that idea. It had been quite a while since Phineas or Ferb had been to the park. "Hey, yeah. That's a great idea. We could go treasure hunting in the park."

"Where'd you get 'treasure hunting' from? All I said was 'park'."

"Yeah, but Ferb and I got these new metal detectors that we really want to try out. And who knows? Maybe the gold & jewlery we find would cheer you up."

"You'd share your findings with me?"

"Of course. Anything to cheer you up. I mean, we _are_ friends with Jeremy, right?"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz in a Karate School!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had arrived at the Tri-State Area Karate Institution. He looked inside one of the mirrors and saw that there was a karate class in session. He wasn't surprised, since it _was_ a Karate Institution. He was surprised, however, when he discovered that Dr. Doofenshmirtz was partaking in one of the classes...with a bunch of 7 to 10 year olds. He was the best one in the class (no surprise there).

Perry waited patiently for the next five minutes until the class ended, where everyone was free to go. Dr. Doofenshmirtz stayed back though, helping his sensei clean up. Perry saw this opportunity and took it, having the element of surprise on Doofenshmirtz. So he busted through the front door and landed himself on the karate mat.

"Perry the Platypus!?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "How unexpected. And by unexpected I mean...unexpected. What are you doing here? N-Not that I'm unhappy to see you. I am. It's just -- well, I was expecting that you would show up at my lair first. I-I even had a trap set up for you. Ahh, but now I'm going to have to return it."

"I believe I can help you with your dilema." His sensei instructor said as he approached the platypus. "So _you're_ this man's enemy?" Perry nodded. "Pleasure to meet you." He reached out and shook Perry's hand. "I am Sensei Felipe. And now--" Instantaneously, the sensei took out two karate black belts and started tying up Perry's arms and legs quickly.

"Aha! Excellent work, Sensei. That's unlike you."

"My mission in life is to help my pupils grow in body, mind, and soul."

"I have no idea what you just said, but thanks for your help."

"May the peace be with you, pupil Henry." He said to Heinz before taking his leave. The evil scientist stood there, confused.

"I-It's Heinz, Sensei! Heinz!" He tried to call back but it was too late. His teacher was gone. But he shrugged it off and turned back to his nemesis. "So, Perry the Platypus, it's time for me to explain my evil plan this time. Last week, I ran into this awful bully that started terrorizing me. He demanded for my money, and then he beat me up! It's horrible I tell you! Plus, he verbally insults me! And the worst part is, he does it in another language so I can't even understand him! Finally, I decided that enough was enough, so I challenged him to a fight schedules for today. As you can imagine, I was scared out of my mind. So, I started coming here. Sensei Felipe has been helping me learn all kinds of karate moves. But I do not have the physical strength that it will take to hold my own in battle."

"Sparring is about willpower, not strength." His sensei yelled from outside.

"Oh hush up, you! Even so, I still...don't have very much physical strength. Which is why...I have created..." He opened up his karate uniform to reveal a bunch of wires that connected and attached to the mucles in his arms and abdomen. "This new karate gi for myself! I call it the Buffinator! Wanna know why? Well, you notice all of these electrical wires with cuffs that are attached to every muscle in my arms and abdomen? I created the Buffinator in order to make myself stronger and my muslces bigger. You see, the Buffinator works by pumping pure carbohydrates and proteins into my muscles, thereby expanding them, and not only giving me that full, upper body muscular look, and giving me the power to take this bully down once and for all! But I hope that I'm able to get them toned up soon. I mean, he's coming in, like, an hour or so."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Suzy had all gone to the park to help Suzy cheer up. Phineas and Ferb brought their metal detectors with them and their shovels so they could go treasure hunting, hoping to find some actual treasure, not a bunch of fake beards like last time.

"Well, here we are." Phineas said as they entered. "Now, we've got 4 people and 2 metal detectors. How should we do this?"

"How about we split us into teams of two?" Isabella suggested. "How about you and Ferb be Team 1, and Suzy and I be Team 2?"

"Really?"

"Sure. What's the problem?"

"No, i-it's just that I thought you would be jumping at the opportunity to be my partner. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. It's...well, you and Ferb are good at this kind of stuff, and I don't want you to think that I'd be upset if you didn't want me as your partner, and--"

"Actually, Isabella, it's OK. You can be partners with Phineas. I don't mind teaming up with Ferb." Suzy interrupted her. In her mind, Suzy was thinking that if she was partnered up with Isabella, she would be keeping too close of an eye on her, so she wouldn't be able to torture Stacy from a distance to break her away from Jeremy. But, she believed that if she was teamed with Ferb, she'd have a better chance since Ferb was much quieter than Isabella. "I like a quiet man, anyway. No one to bicker with."

Ferb smirked.

"Um, are you sure, Suzy?" Phineas asked.

"Sure I'm sure."

"O-OK then. We'll each take a different part of the park, and then, let's say, in an hour or so, we meet back up at the big oak tree in the middle of the park to see what we've collected. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Everyone said in unison as they broke and went off in different directions. Phineas and Isabella took the North side of the park while Ferb and Suzy took the South side of the park.

Neither side had any good luck for the first half hour. Not only did they not find any treasure, but they didn't even find anything. But they weren't worried, as they were just having fun. Well, everyone except Suzy was. THat was because Suzy was not focused on the treasure hunt. No, she was focused on finding Jeremy and Stacy. Every time Ferb turned his back, Suzy scanned the park for those two. After a few minutes, she was able to find them near a parked ice cream cart.

While Ferb was digging, Suzy decided to leave him and go after Stacy.

"So, Suzy, did you know that we are in search of gold and other artifacts that are believed to be hidden by the Founding Fathers of the United States? It is true. Legend has it that back in 1832, Charles Carroll, the last surviving signer of the Declaration of Independence, and a part of a secret group known as the "Masons", visited president Andrew Jackson late one night, as he was dying, because it was urgent that he speak to the president. Unfortunately, he never got the chance because the president was not there that night. So his stable boy took him to the one other person he knew he could trust. The late Thomas Gates. And he confided to him a secret...a treasure. A treasure that had been fought over for many years by tyrants, warlords, pharaohs, etc. But then one day, it vanished, and it didn't reappear for another millenium, until some knights from the first Crusades war discovered hidden vaults beneath a secret temple. The knights took the treasure and claimed the building as "The Knight's Temple"."

"They spent the next 100 years smuggling the treasure out of Europe, starting their own group known as the "Free Masons". They hid the treasure again just before the American Revolution. The "Masons" wanted to make sure that the treasure was never found by the British, so they devised up a series of clues and maps that led to the treasure. But overtime the clues were lost, and now, there's only one left...the one my brother and I have, and it reads "The secret lies.." He turned around to face Suzy for the first time in his rant and he realized that she wasn't there. "...with Charlette. And I'm alone."

Suzy crept up behind a big tree and spied on Stacy and Jeremy, who were strolling through the park, hand in hand. It made her sick to her stomach to see Jeremy holding hands with another girl. So while Jeremy left to get them some ice cream, Suzy snuck up behind the bench, took out a baseball bat, and swung it at Stacy's head. Getting the full impact of the swing, she turned around quickly to see who it was that hit her. "Ow!" She shouted, hoping to get that person's attention. But Suzy was smart enough to stay hidden as Jeremy returned with their ice cream.

"Stacy, what happened?" He immediately asked handing her her ice cream.

"Somebody hit me in the back of my head!"

"Who?"

"I don't know. I didn't catch their face. Who would do something like that to me?"

For the next half hour or so, Jeremy and Stacy continued their date. And every few minutes or so, Suzy would try something else to bring those two apart, ranging from trying to run Stacy over with an ice cream cart to trying to trip her over a fallen branch; Suzy even went as far as hiring some random guy to throw insults to her face.

* * *

Back at the karate school, Doofenshmirtz was waiting patiently for his bully to arrive. It was almost time for the fight. "In just a few moments, Perry the Platypus, I will finally show that bully who's boss around here! Nothing can stop me now!"

His dreams, though, were put on hold when his daughter, Vanessa, came through the front door. "Dad!!" And she was calling his name. "Dad! Where have you been!? You were supposed to pick me up from the movies when your class was done!"

"Oh, was that today? Oh I'm so sorry, Vanessa. I forgot. I was busy preparing myself."

"Preparing for what?"

"In just a few minutes, I'm going to square off against somebody who has been tormenting me for a week now!"

"You're getting into a fight!?"

"Don't worry, Vanessa. You see, I have wires in my karate outfit, which will make my muscles grow so I can take this person down for good!" He opened his gi and showed Vanessa the wires.

"So...you designed a mechanical karate gi?"

"Yes. Yes I did?"

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"That I'm going to teach him that I"m the top dog and he'll leave me alone forever?"

"No...it means I've got proof! You're busted! I'm calling mom!" Vanessa quickly took out her cellphone and started dialing her mother, CHarlene. "Mom! You gotta come down to the Danville Karate Instituion, quick! Dad's about to get into a fight with--" Before she could finish, she heard the phone click, and she heard a car screech up to the building, and her mom came rushing in seconds later.

"I'm here! Did I miss the fight?" She asked frantically, see her ex-husband in a gi with Perry still tied up. Vanessa was shocked at how quickly her mother got there.

"Mom...that was fast. Why couldn't you be that fast those othe times I tried to prove to you that dad was evil?"

"Because, Vanessa, while I don't approve of you accusing your father of being "evil", I never miss a chance to see him get beat up...especially if it's a girl that's doing it."

"I can hear you, you know!" Heinz shouted, infuriated, while Charlene walked over to Perry, still tied up, and in his fedora.

"Oh, and this must be the "secret agent platypus" Vanessa has told me about."

"Yes, finally! You see it!"

"How adorable. You gave him a secret agent's hat and everything."

"Yeah -- wait, what?"

"I get it now. You play "secret agent" with him, and I guess _you're_ the bad guy, huh?"

Heinz wasn't following anything Charlene was saying. "_Play secret agent_? What's wrong with you, woman? You think I'm _that_ pathetic!?"

* * *

Back at the park, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were still digging around for Charlette, the first clue that would hopefully lead them to the treasure lost by the founding fathers. Phineas and Isabella were still digging as a team, but because Suzy was dealing with Stacy, Ferb was all alone So to get his partner back, he started scowering the park for Suzy.

As soon as Suzy realized that Ferb was right on her tail, she knew she had to ditch Stacy & Jeremy and return to the hole to dig. But she had a problem. The park was so big that she had forgotten where her hole was. That, on top of the fact that nearly everybody had gone digging today in the park made it that much harder for her to get back. "Shoot."

She started hustling about, desperately trying to find Phineas & Isabella again. Meanwhile, Ferb had run into Jeremy & Stacy.

"Oh hey Ferb. What's up?" Jeremy asked his friend. Ferb didn't move or change expressions. But somehow, Jeremy was able to make out what Ferb wanted to say. "Oh, you, Phineas, Isabella, and Suzy came out here to dig for buried treasure? Cool. How's it going?" Again, Ferb didn't move. "No luck, huh? Well, don't get so down, buddy. Rome wasn't built in a day. How's Suzy doing?" Again, nothing. "What? She wandered off while you guys were digging!? Oh man, she was always the little explorer. Don't worry about it. We'll help you find her. Right Stace?"

"Sure." So the three of them headed off farther into the park to look for Suzy. "By the way, how were you able to get all of that withim Ferb saying anything?"

"When you know somebody as long as I've known him, you tend to pick up a few things."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I need to get some new friends."

* * *

It was time for the big fight at the karate school. By now, a crowd of people, including Charlene, Vanessa, and Roger Doofenshmirtz, had gathered and watched in awe as Heinz geared up and anxiously waited for his opponent to enter. Not long after the crowd had settled did his opponent enter. It turned out that the "bully" Heinz had been describing was actually an eight year old boy. He was rather short, skinny, and he had the cutest little baseball cap on.

"So...you decided to show up." He said, getting in the ready stance.

"Hey, you're that guy who--"

"Yeah, yeah, I know! I'm the wimpy little scientist whom you stole money from that day!"

"No, you're the guy who loaned me that money so I could pay for my ice cream. I've come to pay you back." The young boy took out a $20 bill and handed it to Heinz, who, like everyone, was shocked at what was happening. "And I'm also terribly sorry about that black eye you got that day. So I brought you a steak to hold up to your eye." He also handed the scientist a raw steak, to which everybody aww'ed.

"Wh-You're giving me this steak? Just to heal my black eye? W-We-Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You don't want to terrorize me?"

"Why would I do that? You're twice my size. You could easily kick my butt."

"No he couldn't!" Vanessa shouted from the audience.

"Quiet, you! Anyway, what about that verbal insult you shouted to me...in Spanish!"

"Insult? No, sir. I wasn't insulting you. I said _Usted tiene un buen laboratorio escudo._ That means "You have a nice lab coat."

"Oh..." Dr. Doofenshmirtz did not know Spanish very well, so when the kid spoke to him the other day he believed he was being insulted. "Well, thank you, young man. Y-You know, it's the funniest thing, I thought you were harassing me, but this whole time, you were just trying to compliment me. Thank you for the wonderful compliments. You're alright, kid."

"OK, that's it! I'm outta here!" One guy shouted in anger as he left, ith a crowd of people following him. "I came here to see people get beat up and instead I get a cruddy "As the World Turns" remake!"

"W-Wa-Wait! Wait! Where are you going!? Come back! Come back!? Stop!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz tried to keep the crowd from leaving. But it was no use. Even Vanessa and Charlene got bored (Vanessa almost fell asleep) and left with them. Alone and depressed, the evil man plopped to the ground, and sighed. Even Perry, who didn't think his services were still needed, managed to untie himself and left the store.

"Don't fret. I still think you're cool."

"Thanks. But it ain't the same if Perry the Platypus doesn't thwart me."

"Was that the green duck that was tied up in those belts?"

"He's a platypus, actually. They don't do much."

* * *

At the park, Jeremy, Stacy, and Ferb were frantically looking for Suzy, constantly shouting out her name. "Suzy! Suzy!!" They literally turned the park upside down looking for her. They were so loud that they distracted Phineas and Isabella from their digging. So they took a break and decided to follow the screaming. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Phineas asked.

"Suzy's missing in the park." Jeremy said, rather horrified.

"What!?"

"We thought she was with Ferb! What happened? Did she wonder off?" Even though Isabella bombarded Ferb with a lot of questions, he was able to answer them with a nod. "Oh this is terrible!"

"Don't worry. She couldn't have gotten that far! The park's not _that_ big. Come on, we'll all go look for her." So they all split up and took different parts of the park. They searched for about a ghalf hour, and eventually met back up in the middle of the park, having found nothig. After splitting up again, Jeremy was finally able to locate her behind a tree, playing with squirrels.

"Suzy! Oh thank goodness!" Jeremy let out a big sigh of relief as he hugged her.

"Why'd you run off like that?" Phineas asked.

"I'm sorry. I saw a cute squirrel run over to this tree and I really wanted to play with him. I didn't mean toscare you guys."

"That's OK. As long as it doesn't happen again." Jeremy hugged his sister again as everybody watched happily.

"Well, you didn't miss much anyway. We didn't find any treasure." Phineas said, slightly dejectedly. "But I did find this cool watch on some dead guy's wrist." Phineas held up a gold watch.

"Cool." Stacy remarked, which made Suzy angry.

"Overall, I'd say this was a good day."

"So Suzy, did you have fun with Phineas and Ferb?" Jeremy asked.

"I did! I can't wait for our next playdate!" She lied.

"Well alright then. Thanks guys. She really seems happy."

"You're welcome. Anytime you need some help, just call us."

"Well, I think it's time for us to go home. Come on, Suzy." Jeremy and Stacy started heading out with Suzy following him. Before Stacy parted from him, Suzy caught her sight and gave her a death glare, while running one finger slowly across her neck. Stacy gulped in shock.

"Yeah, I think it's our cue to leave, too." Phineas said to his friends. "It's getting dark. Hey Isabella, you wanna sleep over tonight?"

"Sure."

"Cool. Just promise me you'll stay on your side of the room, this time. I don't want a repeat of last time where I found you...snuggled up to me."

"I said I was sorry!"

**End of Episode 13a!**

**A/N: How'd you like the National Treasure reference I threw in there? Hope you liked it. And don't worry, what happened between Phineas and Isabella was NOT sexual in any way. Oh, and be sure to look for a new story I'm starting to write. It'll be posted in the Hannah Montana section and will be entitled "Miley Stewart's Big Time Rush". In the story, Oliver gets excited when auditions come around for a fifth member of"Big TIme Rush", but it's Miley who ends up on the bad end of that rope when Jake is accused of stealing one of their songs. I promise, the story sounds much better than the summary.**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb try to get around a blackout caused by Dr. Doofenshmirtz.**

**Expected Update: Anytime after April 2nd. I'll try to get it up before that, but I have writer's block, so no guarentees. Sorry.**


	18. 13b: Black n' Blue

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 13b: Black n' Blue**

**Episode Summary: A big storm hits Danville, and so does a Tri-State wide blackout. Hoping to do something today, Phineas and Ferb attempt to enjoy an activity even in the nasty weather. Meanwhile, Perry discovers that Dr. Doofenshmirtz was the cause of the blackout by destroying a generator that powered the entire Tri-State Area. This episode will be heavily focused on Doofenshmirtz and Perry.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was a day like no other. It was one of the worst day in Tri-State Area history. A powerful storm was terrorizing everyone everywhere. Nobody was outside on a day like this, as they feared for their lives sinces the storm was strong enough to knock down trees and electrical poles. The nastiest weather in years, I tell you.

The Flynn-Fletcher family was certainly feeling it. Phineas, Ferb, Linda, and Lawrence had to stay inside, along with Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, and Irving. "Whoa, it's a real doozy out there." Phineas said looking out the window. "Guess our day's plan to go skydiving is out of the question." He walked away from the window and over to the couch where his friends were. He took a seat next to Isabella and Ferb. "That's OK. We can still have fun staying indoors today."

"What kind of fun can we have when it's raining?" Buford asked, referencing a past episode.

"Didn't you already asked that the last rainy day?"

"So? What fun _can _we have?"

"We could play board games." Baljeet suggested. "I brought over Monopoly."

"Eww, that game's for losers."

But before they even had a chance to set the game up, they heard some sizziling and eventually the lights in the room blew out. Soon all the lights in the house blew out, and all the lights in the Tri-State Area soon followed. "Oh no! The lights are out!" Baljeet yelled.

"It's the storm! It must've knocked over our power lines." Phineas suggested.

"Oh well. I guess there's nothing we can do but stay inside and relax." Isabella said, taking Phineas's hand, and kissing him on the cheek.

"I guess...but I was really hoping to go skydiving today."

"That's OK. Like you said, we could still have fun indoors on a bad day such as this. Besides, you're creative and funny. I'm sure you'll think of something, Phineas."

"Thanks, Isabella. You always know how to make me feel better. Oh, that reminds me? Where's Perry?"

"Maybe he ran off to another part of the house. The storm's probably scaring him."

* * *

In truth, Perry was in another part of the house. But it wasn't because he was scared of the storm. It was because it was time for him to receive his mission. He was upstairs in Candace's room. He was trying to access an entrance in her bookcase, but to no luck. He didn't know the power was out until a mouse came out from under the bed and handed Perry a small television. He was wearing the traditional fedora, so Perry knew that he was part of the organization. He pulled up the antenna on the TV and waited as Major Monogram's image slowly appeared on the screen.

"Good morning, Agent P. Sorry about the bookcase. All the power in the Tri-State Area has gone out. Nothing electrical works. The only reason this television is working along with everything at our headquarters is because we run on our own separate generator. And speaking of generators, our suspicions have led us to believe that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has stolen the Tri-State's generator. This latest picture we've received of it shows it completely and utterly destroyed." Monogram held up a picture of the generator, smashed to bits. "We have no idea whether or not Doofenshmirtz was responsible for its destruction, but he was seen taking it back to his lair. Get right on it."

He saluted Monogram and shut off the TV. As he made his way up to the window, he realized that he would've gotten drenched in the weather. So he raced into her closet and pulled out one of her baby ponchos. Thank goodness her mother never throws anything away. (**And I can relate big time!**)

* * *

Back in the living room, the kids were all sitting around, staring at a blank TV screen. "Man, this stinks." Phineas groaned. "I'm not really a "TV watchin'" person, but still, it's nice to know that it actually works. Now...it feels like I'm staring into a black hole."

"How about we play a game to pass the time?" Isabella suggested.

"What kind of game?"

"How about...charades." Baljeet suggested.

"Charades? In the dark?" Buford questioned. "How can we play charades in the dark?"

"Hang on, I think I might have a flashlight." Irving searched his person and pulled out a working flashlight. He turned it on as Baljeet stood up in front of them. He began to move around, attempting to imitate the movements of The Holocaust back in 1939. Unfortunately for him, it looked like he was doing the Funkytown Dance.

"Oh, oh! Londan Bridge is falling down!" Everyone started shouting out guesses, starting with Phineas.

"The Hokey Pokey." Followed by Buford.

"You're being eaten by a giant Koala!" Then Isabella.

"Are you people mad!? It's obviously "Gone With the Wind"!" Then Ferb.

"No, it's the Leaning Tower of Piza!" And finally Irving.

"Oh for the love of Peter, it is the Holocaust!" Baljeet finally shouted in frustration.

"The what!?" Everyone questioned simultaniously.

"The Holocaust. A horrific event led by Adolf Hitler during World War II that resulted in the murders of millions of Jews. I would at least expect _you_, Isabella, of all people, to know about it."

"Know about what?"

"The Holocaust!!"

"What's that?"

"Ugh! You people are so textbook insufficient! This is why I am getting much better grades than you guys!"

His friends blinked a couple of times, staring blankly at him. "Baljeet, calm down. It's summer vacation. You're not even supposed to be thinking about textbooks or school."

"A commender such as yourself _would_ say something like that, Phineas."

"You're one to talk."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside, Perry was struggling to make his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair. It was raining so hard that his jetpack actually went out on him. He was forced to travel by foot. That was at least 25 miles from the Flynn-Fletcher home to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. After about 3 miles, Perry was unable to walk anymore. After resting on the ground for several minutes, he resorted to calling a cab for a ride. When all of that was finally over, he was out $150 and his feet were still sore. But he had to press on.

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

He arrived at the building, and casually walked in the front door. Exhausted, he took the elevator so he could give his feet a break. Perry was very surprised to realize that the elevator was indeed working when everything else in the Tri-State Area had shut down. Of course his questions were answered as soon as the elevator stopped on Doofenshmirtz's floor, and he walked into his lair. There was a giant generator in the middle of the room. It didn't look at all like the one the town had, but it was still very suspicious.

"Perry the Platypus!?" Doofenshmirtz shouted from behind the generator. "I see you managed to get into my secret lair...with the elevator...that is powered by my new...generator..." Doofenshmirtz was realizing that it was his invention that got Perry into his lair. "Oh well. That means I can also do THIS!" He pulled a cord that was attached to the ceiling, releasing a cage that was in the upper room, encasing Perry. "Well, I'm glad to see you're not leaving anytime soon. Let me explain to you my evil scheme this time."

"As you know, the power went out all across the Tri-State Area just moments ago. But no, _I_am not the cause of the power outage. But, I did use the opportunity to locate the generator that went out and bring it back to my lair. I souped it up and made it even stronger than before. Now it has enough juice to power this entire building and make all of my evil plans even more malevolent than they would've been before. You see, Perry the Platypus, I was able to jerry-rig this old piece of junk and make it 3 times as strong as it once was, giving off 3 times as much power at once, and that's exactly what I need..." He walked over to the other side of the room and uncovered his latest "inator". "To power my newest creation: The Disintivaporator 2000...inator."

"With this ray, I am not limited to just one object to disintigrate. All I need is the push of the button, and this device will shoot out a 20-mile wide beam that will disintigrate anything in its path. I will destroy everything and everyone in the Tri-State Area and rebuild it as my own. I'll call it "Doofania II". Of course, with a device this powerful, it requires a lot of energy. That's where the town generator came in. It's all falling perfectly into place...and it'll only need a few more minutes of charging up..."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Phineas and Ferb's house, the kids were trying to figure out what else to do. Their game of charades didn't go over so well, so they were sitting on the floor contemplating some other ideas.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Phineas shouted. "We could play this new game Ferb and I learned about. It's called "Would You Rather?""

"WHat's that?" Buford asked.

"You ask somebody "Would you rather?" and then give them two choices and they have to pick which one they would rather do. Here, I'll demonstrate." Phineas turned to his girlfriend. "Isabella..."

"Yes, Phineas?" She responded in a dreamy, yet hesitant tone.

"Would you rather...live in a jail cell for a year? Or...wrestle a giant bear while butt naked?"

Isabella, along with everyone in the room, looked at Phineas all bug-eyed and that stuff. The boy couldn't figure out why they were staring at him like that. "What?"

"Why in the world would I want to live in jail for a year or even wrestle a bear or even go without clothes for that matter?"

"Oh, I wouldn't talk if I were you."

"And why not!?"

"You've been snapping pictures of my butt for weeks now, and you're criticizing _me _over asking _you_ if you would wrestle a bear without any clothes on!?"

"I can't help it! Even _you _have to admit that it's cute to look at! And besides, I would never ask you to wrestle a bear without clothes! In fact, I'd probably just make you stand in the forest without your clothes!" Once again, everyone's eyes got wide, only this time, towards Isabella. "You should really sleep on your stomach more often." She turned to her friends and realized they were staring at her. "What?"

"Well, seeing as this game is probably going to go nowhere but down, why don't we try something different?" Ferb suggested.

"Good idea. Let's see what else we can play..." Phineas and the other kids continued to brainstorm other things they could do on a rainy day. They weren't having that much luck. "Oh wait! I know! How about Hide and Seek?"

"Haven't we already done that?" Irving asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Hey, I know. How about "Red Light Green Light"?" Buford suggested.

"The house is too big. Where would we play it?"

"Don't you guys have a basement of something?"

"We do, but we can't go down there. Our parents are working on the lights."

"So? It's not like we'd be disturbing them."

"I don't think so, Buford."

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was waiting for his machine to charge up. Perry was still trapped, and struggling to get out, while Doofenshmirtz was sipping a cup of tea. "You know, Perry the Platypus, you should've treasured your electricity more when you had it." The evil scientist explained to his nemesis. "Back when I was a child, we were lucky to get a week's worth of electricity. Here, let me explain. Backstory time!"

"When I was a young boy, my mother and father were barely able to support me and my brother, Roger. As a result, we had to give up a few luxuries normal children would be able to enjoy. For example, when we were really young, my father would only allow Roger to try-out for any school sports, never me...which is...a bit strange, when you think about it because -- y-you know, you don't really have to pay to have your child try out for _school_ sports unless, you know, you're rich. Anyway, we also had to go several weeks at a time with no lights in the home, no ovens, nothing of that sort."

"While all of my classmates were able to enjoy newly invented "video games" and try out for sports, _I_ was forced to stay home and look after my mother, and while I wasn't caring for her, I was the family lawn gnome. Well, you remember _that_story, right? And now, since my fun with electricity was taken away from me, I will destroy every morsol of electricity from everybody else in the entire Tri-State Area!"

"So never again will I have to put up with the cruddy New Years festival they have in Time Square every year, or the Mid-Summer festivals...no. They'll all be cancelled while I'm sitting pretty up here, with all the electricity, having the time of my life!"

He was ranting, and Perry was attempting to escape his cage. Since the electricity was out, his fancy gadgets were all useless. He couldn't use a chainsaw to saw the bars off, or his jackhammer to drill a hole into the ground and get out, or even a hammer to break the bars off. Of course, with all of these odds against him, there _was_ one way he could get out. The space between the bars was big enough for Perry to slip through without being noticed. So he did so, and crept behind the scientist as he anxiously awaited for his device to fully power up.

Perry crept up and sucker-punched him in the back of his head, knocking him to the ground. He turned around and saw that his nemesis was free. "Perry the Platypus!? Wait a minute. But how did you escape?" He asked, provoking the platypus to begin to act out how he escape, pointing to the cage, trying to point out how the bars were so far apart from each other that he was simply able to walk out. "Huh!? A magical genie came and you paid him in Euros to get out while he got an order of Chinese food!?" Perry slapped his face, took his arm, and showed him the cage upclose. "Oh...the bars...they're...they're far apart. So you were...able to just walk out...I see now..."

And then Perry proceeded with more beatings, while the evil scientist tried desperately to fend him off.

* * *

Over at the house, the kids were still trying to think of a game to play. They were slowly becoming bored out of their minds, and were slowly going crazy. They wanted the elctricity back so badly, just to know that it was there. You know, they didn't need to necessarily use it, they just wanted to know they had it.

"How about we play "Rock Paper Scissors"?" Irving suggested.

"No way! That's boring!" Buford shouted.

"Well, then, what can we do?" Phineas asked, a bit desperate for an idea.

"Why don't we all just lay down and take a nap?" Isabella suggested, looking sheepishly at Phineas.

"Nah, that's OK, Isabella. I'm not tired. I'm just bored."

"Oh. OK. I'm just worried about you. That's all."

"Thanks, but I'm fine." Truth was, Phineas was starting to become restless. "Man, this is torture! Just sitting around the house while it's raining! I gotta get outside!" He stood up and ran to the front door. He opened it and rushed outside, and was hit with the major storm that was damaging Danville. He ended up getting drenched in rain and was almost struck by lightning. That was his cue to come back into the house. "I got wet!" He shouted while shivering like crazy.

"I'll get a towel." Isabella said flatly as she went upstairs to find a towel. She came back only moments later and brought one to the shivering boy, who was now sneezing every now and then. "Oh Phineas, you are such a goof! I mean, now you've got a cold!"

"No I don't!"

"Phineas, you're sneezing, and you're shivering like crazy. What the heck were you thinking?"

"I'm sick of just sitting inside all the time!"

"Phineas, it's only been a couple of hours."

"Oh...really?"

"Yeah."

"Aww, man! What the heck was I thinking!? Why didn't you stop me!?" Phineas sneezed again. "Dang, now I'm gonna have to stay in bed, and I won't get to play outside and then I'll be forced to watch other people have fun while I have to be the family lawn gnome."

Everyone looked at each other for a moment. Where on Earth did Phineas get that from? "Phineas, what on Earth are you talking about?"

"Oh, oh, sorry. I just -- I don't know. I think I heard that somewhere before, but I don't exactly remember where."

* * *

Perry's battle with Dr. Doofenshmirtz was going rather well for him. He was quickly able to gain the upper hand. "No, Perry the Platypus! Stop throwing things at me!" Perry started to throw random things at Doofenshmirtz. The evil scientist tried so hard to avoid them, and for the most part, succeeded. He was only hit with small items such as video cassettes and TV remotes. Unfortunately, a few moments later, Perry made one fatal mistake. He grabbed a loose pipe and started swinging at him, and missed enough times where he accidentally struck the generator. And he struck it hard enough to break it, which caused the whole building to start rumbling.

"Oh no! The generator is overloading!" He shouted.

"_Warning! Generator Overloading! Generator Overloading!_" A computerized voice said. "_Self-destruction imminent._"

"Wait, wait, that doesn't even make sense! I didn't install a self-destruct sequence! Aww, man! Why does this always happen!?"

"_Self-destruction in T-minus 30 seconds."_

"That's not nearly enough time to get out of here! Oh man! Norm! Get out here!" Doofenshmirtz called for his robotic assistant, who came out of his storage room...actually, he burst through the door, and started running around with his arms in the air.

Norm turned to Perry, and said casually, "I'm panicking."

"Yes, yes you are. Now get me out of here!"

"No way, man! Every man and robot for themselves." Norm was approaching the wall. "Norm the Robot is out! Peace!" And then he broke through a closed window and turned on his jet shoes, flying away to safety, leaving Perry the Platypus and Dr. Doofenshmirtz well in harm's way.

"Thanks alot, Norm! I'll remember this the next time your employee evaluation comes along." He crossed his arms and then realized Perry was raising an eyebrow at him. "Don't ask, Perry the Platypus."

"_Self-destruction in 5...4...3..2..."_

"Oh no...I hope this doesn't mess up my $30 haircut that I got last week. I just paid for it."

"_...1..._"

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus."

* * *

Later that day, back at the house, Linda and Lawrence came back from working on the problem with the electricity in their home. They had been in the basement for the past several hours trying to figure out why their lights went out. They had no idea what the kids were doing. "Hey kids." Linda said calmly returning to the living room with Lawrence. She noticed Phineas shivering and wrapped in a towel. "Phineas, what happened to you?"

"He ran out into the rain and I think he has a cold now." Isabella replied, wrapping the towel more tightly around Phineas, who was looking even worse than before.

"Oh my poor baby," The mother went up to her shivering son and gave him a hug. "What were you thinking running out into the rain like that?"

"Sorry, mom. I just didn't want to sit in the house anymore. It's so boring." He coughed a couple of times.

"I know it's hard to be the guy that likes to be outside all the time and then have to spend a day inside when it's raining, but the storm's gonna be over soon. And then you and your friends will be able to play outside again..." She was interrupted when Phineas sneezed again. "That is...if you're well enough tomorrow."

"Oh man, this stinks! We have no power, I'm sick as a dog, and worst of all, we still can't find Perry!" Just as he was about to sink into a depression, the electricity started coming back. The lights went on, the TV went on, and the spirits of the kids were brought back. "Hey, the lights are back on! Cool! Now I don't have to sink into a deep depression filled with angst and hate!"

The kids all exchanged looks at each other and at Linda and Lawrence. They had no idea how to respond to that, so they didn't. Soon they heard a chattering noise; they looked down and saw it was Perry, who was covered in dust and debree. "Oh there you are, Perry." Phineas said happily, picking him up. "Why are you all covered in street dirt?"

* * *

**During the Credits**

Meanwhile, deep underground, just under City Hall, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was forced to rebuild the city's generator as punishment for stealing it. Apparently, he was found out when the explosion at his lair caused him and Perry to fly over to City Hall, where he accidentally spilled the beans to his brother and mayor, Roger. He had just finished, and was ready to go home. "Ugh, finally!" He wiped his brow. "Two hours of grime, dirt, sweat, blood, and tears, but I'm finally done. Now I can go home."

He threw down his tools to start leaving, but then he realized that he could not find an exit. "Where is that blasted exit? I gotta get home to fix my lair. It's all in shambles and stuff." He realized there wasn't a door anywhere near him, and the only exit was up above him. "Hello!?" He called out. "Um, I'm done fixing the generator! It's all fixed! The Tri-State Area has power again! C-Can I come out now!? Can you guys send someone to get me out of here! I need to fix my home! It's all broken...and other stuff."

He waited for several minutes for somebody to come get him. But nobody came, so he tried calling them again. "HELLO!? Is anybody up there!?" Finally, somebody did come, but he was talking to someone on the phone and did not notice Doofenshmirtz. "Hey, hey buddy! Buddy! Down here! Hey! Hey! I'm stuck! HELP!"

The man grew fed up, put his phone down, and glared angrily at him. "Will you shut up!? I'm talking to my boss!" And then he walked away.

"Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going!? Didn't you hear me!? I said I need help!! Unbelievable...he even looked at me, and yet he's walking away. Some people are just _so_ rude."

**End of Episode 13b!**

**I apologize if this episode isn't as good as my episodes have been. I promise the next one will be much better.**

**Next Time: Isabella participates in a beauty pageant. She goes in as a young girl, but comes out as a diva. Candace finds a new love interest.**

**Expected Update: I'll try to update a bit faster. I should have time during Spring Break, which I'm currently on. But again, no guarentees. You can look for it anytime after April 10th.**


	19. 14: Beauty and the Beast

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 14: Beauty and the Beast**

**Episode Summary: A beauty pageant rolls into Danville, and Vivian convinces Isabella to enter, even though she's not a big fan of them. But when she starts taking the competition far too seriously, Phineas and Ferb try to get her to quit. Meanwhile, Commandant Spangler brings his son into the school, to whom Candace & Tara fall head over heels for, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz tries to stop Vanessa from entering the pageant.**

**A/N: I apologize for such a long wait. I've had computer problems for the past couple of weeks. My computer has been taken away to hopefully be fixed, so I've been forced to use my laptop. Hopefully, things should be better by the end of the week. But again, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was up on another glorious day in Danville. Phineas and Ferb were sitting under their big oak tree, trying to figure out what to do that day. Thankfully Phineas had gotten over his cold rather quickly, so he was able to go outside today.

Meanwhile, over at Isabella's house, the girl was having a bowl of cereal for breakfast while her mother, Vivian, was reading the newspaper. She was flipping through pages rather quickly. "Always, it's the same old thing. People getting hurt in the streets, bullying, car chases, shooting...why don't they ever talk about the nice things that happen, like when the fire department saves an innocent kitty that's up a tree?"

"Maybe because the people would be bored by that kind of stuff?" Isabella inquired.

"I suppose. But I'm getting pretty sick of having to read the same, sad -- hello, what's this?" She turned back to another page, having seen something that interested her. It turned out that she saw an ad for an upcoming beauty pageant that was coming up. "Look at this, Isa." She handed Isabella the paper, and pointed to the pageant ad. "Danville's hosting the "Little Miss Cinderella" beauty pageant. Auditions are today. Oh, this takes me back to when I competed in beauty pageants..." Vivian drifted off into her flashbacks of when she competed in beauty pageants.

"Um...mom?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, mijita. I was just thinking about how it felt to compete in a pageant."

"You used to compete in beauty pageants too?"

"Oh of course. How do you think I got this "Stud" figure your mother has?"

"I always assumed it was plastic surgery."

A moment of silence passed before Vivian spoke again. "Anyway...I think you would be great for this."

"What? For the pageant? I don't know, mom. I don't really like beauty pageants that much."

"W-Why not?"

"Oh please! Nobody who competes in those speaks from their heart. They're all about "Saving the Dolphins" or "Help the people in Haiti". They only talk like that so the judges will like them better. They're not down to Earth like we are." Isabella sat there, thinking about it for a moment. Deep down, she hated beauty pageants because those who competed in them, in her opinion, did not speak from the heart. They dressed up in such pretty dresses, but that's almost never who they truly are. "You know what..." And she was determined to prove it to everybody. "Maybe I _will_ enter this beauty pageant."

"Really? Oh, Isa, I'm so happy."

"But I'm not in it to win it. I just want to show people that beauty isn't just the clothes you wear or the way you talk to make yourself seem better than you truly are. It's about what you feel on the inside that matters. And those girls just never really express it that way. OK, where do I sign up?"

"We have to go to the Danville Recreation Center for a registration form, and it has to be filled out by noon today."

"Wonderful." Isabella said sarcastically. She checked her watch and saw it was already 8:30. "That leaves us with three and a half hours left to register." She got out of her chair, grabbed her mom's wrist, and pulled her out of the house, running as fast as she could to the car. "Come on, mom! No time to waste!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at Edwin Spangler's military school, the day for everybody was just getting started as well. Everyone was already up and about, except for Candace, who was still in her bed, fast asleep. Wake up time was 6:00 today, but it was already 8:30 and Candace still wasn't awake. So one of Spangler's workers had to go in and shake her awake and drag her downstairs, since they were all forced to clean the latrines today. (For those who didn't know, that means bathrooms) Candace was practically gagging at the sight of the filthy toilets.

Commandant Spangler was enjoying watching everybody clean the toilets, especially since his son, Trent Spangler, was standing there watching with him. "Take a good look, son." He said proudly to his 6 foot 1 inch, 180 pound son. Don't worry, he has a muscular build. "This could all be yours one day."

"I don't how you do it, dad." He said boldly in a sexy Australian accent. "How do you always manage to keep these girls in line?"

"Through sheer discipline and ridiculous tasks such as these. Of course, that's not to say that there haven't been any...problems."

"You mean crazy girls trying to escape again?"

"Actually, it's crazy _girl_." He was referring to Candace, who had previously attempted to escape the school twice, succeeding once, only to be caught later that day.

And speaking of Candace, she had just finished with her toilet and reported back to Spangler with her bucket & cleaning untensils. "Sir, I've finished with my toilet."

"And I trust it was the nastiest thing you've ever laid your eyes on."

"Oh yes, sir, it was totally..." She suddenly stopped. Her gaze was fixed on Spangler's son. After her apparent "break-up" with Jeremy since she was shipped off, she was looking for another player, and now, it seems like she found one. "Um...sir, who is this...charming...handsome young man?" Her voice was getting slightly louder and more annoying with each word she spoke in her lovestruck frenzy.

"Focus, Cadet!" Spangler yelled firmly and strongly. Candace returned to reality. "Not that it is any of your business, Flynn..." He smirked. "But, if you must know, this is my son, Trent."

"Yeah..." She was starting to drift off into dream land, but caught herself before Spangler noticed.

"I am giving him a tour of this school so that one day, when I am...no longer here, he can take over and keep you cadets in line."

"No longer here?" She gasped in false excitement. "Are you moving to another country!? Oh that's so exciting!"

"No, you dipstick! I meant that I am very old and will not be around forever."

"Oh..." Her false excitement faded quickly.

"So I am showing my son around so he can one day take over the family business."

"OH...OK...I'll be in my room." Candace ran out quickly so Spangler couldn't do anything to her. Trent took interest in Candace, but it was simply because he was curious as to why Spangler yelled at her more than any other girl.

"Dad, who was that?" He asked politely.

"That, my dear Trent, was cadet Candace Flynn. She is one of my most troublesome students. Being the control freak she is, she's allowed her obsession with getting her siblings in trouble to control her. She's made excellent progress these past few weeks, but she's been known to relapse without warning. So I want you to express caution while around her. She could snap at any time and you wouldn't be ready for her."

"O...kay..."

Spangler snapped his fingers and said "OK, let's continue the tour."

* * *

Back in Danville, Isabella had gotten on line with Vivian to sign up for the beauty pageant. There were a lot of other girls there to sign up; some of the kids were younger than Isabella, and some were older. One notable mention was Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Heinz Doofenshmirtz's father, who was only one spot ahead of her, filling out a registration form.

"Boy mom, there sure are a lot of girls who like beauty pageants." Isabella said, looking in front of her and behind her. "Bunch of stuck-up prissies if you ask me."

"Isa, language!"

"What? It's true. Just you wait, mom. When these girls get on stage, you're not gonna see the real them. All you're gonna see is whatever the makeup they wear or whatever dress they pick out makes them look like." She approached the front desk, took a registration form, and started filling it out. She was so focused on the paper in front of her that she failed to notice Phineas, Ferb, and Lawrence approaching her, having parked their car a few blocks down in a parking lot.

"Isabella!" Phineas called out, running up to her. The girl looked up from her paper, which was already half completed.

"Phineas!" Despite her distasteful attitude she currently had, she was glad to see her boyfriend, as she embraced him tightly upon arrival. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I tracked you down using this cute tracker I rigged up." He held up a GPS device that locked on any cute life form Phineas told it to. It looked similar to the one he used to find Meap. **(The Chronicles of Meap)**"I kept the one we used for Meap and fixed it so it works on you."

"Aww, that is so sweet." She kissed him and they parted so Isabella could continue filling out her registration form.

"So...Isabella, whatcha' doin'?"

"I'm going to enter a beauty pageant."

"A beauty pageant? Man, do I hate those. All the girls are so pompus and stuck up, and all the judges want are sucks-up who want to "Save the Dolphins" or "Help Haiti"."

"Oh my gosh, I know, right!?"

"So then why are you entering?"

"To show these jerks how you should really win a pageant. I'm not gonna go in wearing some frilly $6,000 dress or talk about "saving the Earth". I'm just gonna go in and be myself."

"Good for you, Isabella! And we'll be rooting for you the whole way."

While Phineas and Isabella were busy talking, they failed to notice that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's robot assistant, Norm, was heading towards them. He slammed onto the ground which caused the ground to shake violently. Only then did everybody notice him, and they all started running in circles in pure fear. Norm, though, was not after everyone. He was only after one person: Vanessa. "Hello children." He grabbed her and held her tightly. "You're coming with me." As he flew off back to his master's lair.

"Hey, put me down you metal freak!" Vanessa shouted. Everyone on the ground was in complete dismay, including Phineas and Ferb. Luckily they were, so it gave their pet platypus, Perry, the opportunity to get into his secret agent disgise by putting on his agency fedora. He sneaked away when Phineas and Ferb weren't looking, and flew off on his jet pack.

"Wow...that was serendipitis." Phineas finally broke the short silence, turning to his stepbrother, who was busy gazing at Vanessa in a trance. "Right, Ferb? Ferb?" He noticed that Ferb wasn't paying attention. "Hey, Ferb!" Finally, he snapped out of it. "Did you hear what I said?"

Ferb pondered on it for a moment. He had paid absolutely no attention to Phineas, as he was looking at the "beautiful" Vanessa. "Something about Lasanga, correct?"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Norm and Vanessa arrived at Heinz Doofenshmirtz's evil lair in no time at all. He opened the sunroof allowing his robotic assistant to glide in slowly & freely while still holding the girl tightly. Charlene was also in the lair.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was not happy with his daughter signing up for the pageant. "L-Let me go, Tinman!" Vanessa shouted at Norm, who subsequently released her. She fell to the ground, almost hurting herself. Luckily the fall wasn't that high. She dusted herself off and looked up at her disapporving father and her concerned mother. "What's the big idea, dad!?"

"What are you thinking, Vanessa? Signing up for a so-called "Beauty Pageant" -- have you no shame!?"

"What are you talking about, dad?"

"Yes, what _are_ you talking about, Heinz?" Charlene asked.

"Your daughter was about to parade herself on national television! What, with the stupid ballgowns and the swimsuits and the Q & A! Do you know how bad she would look in a swimsuit and a ballgown!? She barely passes off as a girl in her regular outfit!"

Vanessa gasped, shocked at what Heinz said. Charlene was very angry with him, and Norm was speechless. "Ouch."

"Heinz!"

"What? It's true! If she goes through with this stupid pageant, she'll only be parading herself in a way that will turn boys completely off of her! I mean, what happened with that boy you liked so much? What was his name...Johnny! Johnny, whatever happened to him?"

"He broke up with me because I was too "boring", "sarcastic", and "unexciting" for him."

"Well, just think of the judges as Johnny. Nobody is going to take you seriously. You'll only end up humiliating yourself. You know it's broadcast across the entire world!"

"I don't care what you say, dad! I'm doing this!"

"Heinz, I think you're being a bit too hard on her for this."

"No! I refuse to let you go through with this, Vanessa!"

"But dad..."

"No buts, Vanessa, especially if yours is going to be in some ballgown or a swimsuit!"

"Oh, so the one time I decide to try and step away from the goth crowd, you resent it? That's real nice, pops. Well guess what? You can't stop me from doing this. I am going to be in that pageant, and nothing you say or do is going to stop me!" With that, Vanessa stormed out of the room, and out of the building, with Charlene closely following.

Heinz cupped his eyebrows as Perry made his...not-so-dramatic entrance. "Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus. Y-You heard all of that, didn't you?" Perry nodded. "Yes, of course you did. Ugh, well, if you must know, it all stems back to my childhood. You remember that back story I told where my mother made dresses expecting a baby girl but then it turned out to be Trent so I was forced to wear those dresses for the entire year? Well, it goes a bit beyond that...a story I never told anybody."

"3 months into that torturous year of dress-wearing, the annual Druselstein beauty pageant came around, and all the little girls of Druselstein were forced to enter...and I was mistaken for a girl, and was also forced to enter. All of those swimsuits, the Q & A's -- but what makes it worst of all is...I won that pageant! And after I won that, I was forced to travel around the country and compete in other beauty pageants too! And the worst part...I WON ALL OF THEM! I won every single pageant!" By now, He was so traumatized that he was bursting into tears, wailing like a baby from the painful memories. Perry walked over to him casually and patted him on the back to comfort him.

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, in Isabella's house, Isabella and her mother, Vivian were up in the former's room, preparing for her performance at the beauty pageant.

"OK, the pageant is later this afternoon." Isabella told her mother.

"You're right. So much to do, so little time." Vivian replied, beginning to panic. "I mean, we've got to prepare you for the Q & A's, the talent portion, the swimsuit portion...oh good lord, there is so much we must do, and--"

"Mom. Mom!" SHe tried to get her mother's attention as she was doing what Isabella set out not to do: get wrapped up in the "competition". "Get a hold of yourself, woman. You're starting to wrap yourself around the competition. I told you that I'm not entering it to do that. I'm not going to turn into one of those selfish, self absorbed divas who starts caring about her looks, her talents, how everybody is inferior to her..."

"Oh, that's right. Sorry, Isa. It's just, well, you entering this pageant takes me back to my pre-teen years."

"You mean you used to be a pageant queen too?"

"Of course. I used to compete in lots of tem. From when I was 7 to about my 16th birthday, I traveled across the globe, and compete in competitions such as "Miss USA", "Miss Virginia", even "Miss Universe"."

"So what happened? You finally decided that enough was enough and you wanted to raise a family?"

"Actually...I was banned for life after the Miss Universe pageant?"

"Ooh..." Isabella stuttered for a moment. "W-What happened?"

"Well, as I soon learned, the competitions were starting to affect me. Before long, I began to obsess over my looks. I was so concerned that the judges would find flaw with me that I began to change everything; my diets, my hair, my looks, my clothing, my attitude -- everything. I ate much less than ever, I tried to grow my lair too long, I started alienating my old friends, resented all of my competitors and believed that they were all inferior to me. And after one fateful night, where I actually pushed one of my competitors down three flights of stairs, I got banned from pagentary for life."

Isabella was stunned. Her so-called "role model" was once a beauty pageant diva. "Yikes..."

"I know, I'm not proud. That's why I'm so proud that you're entering this pageant and coming out with your dignity and integrity intact no matter what happens."

"Thanks, mom. I'm gonna go and hang with Phineas." She stood up, hugged her mother, and then ran out of the house to play with her best friend.

* * *

Candace rushed back to her room and saw her roommate Tara sitting on her bed, reading a book. She was so psyched to tell her what had just happened. "Tara!" She shouted, getting the girl's attention. "Did you know Commandant Spangler had a son?"

"Um...yes. He brought him to the school a few months ago too, right before you came in."

"Well...did you know he's a hottie!?"

"I never really got a good look at -- wait, what?"

"I'm serious. He is a _hottie_! You can see he's been working out in his arms. Plus, he's pretty tall and doesn't seem at all like his dad is."

"Yeah, he's not. He's rather sweet and easy-going."

"Oh yeah...so I need your help."

"With what?" It took a couple of minutes for Tara to realize where Candace was getting at. "Oh...I see..."

"What? Ever since I came here, I figured that me and Jeremy were over. I've been meaning to get back into the ball game one of these days, and it looks like this could be my chance. Anyway, will you help me."

"Uh, s-sure. I guess." Tara was a bit uneasy with her answer, and that was because secretly, she also had a crush on Spangler's son.

"Great."

"But wait...how do you expect to woo him over? I mean, you had a hard time keeping your last boyfirend because you were so obsessed with Phineas and Ferb."

"Yeah, you're right." Candace began to ponder on that for a moment. During her time dating Jeremy, there would be times where she would become so obsessed with busting Phineas and Ferb that she would just abandon him and go after them, or just think about them the whole date. She did not want a repeat of that. "Oh well. I'm as far away from them as I can get, so I don't think that's going to be a problem. Anyway, I'm going to need your help."

"Me!? Oh no. No way. I don't want to get involved in your personal love life, because if you get in trouble, then I'm going to have to suffer with you, and I refuse to go into The Hole with you."

"Oh come on. All I need you to do is follow him around all day and figure out what he likes. You know, get inside his head."

"I don't know."

"I'll be your best friend?"

Are you serious, girl? "The answer's still no."

"I'll give you 20 bucks."

"Sold!"

"Good. Now go follow him." She picked her up by her shoulders, and practically threw her out of the room into the hallway, where Tara bumped into Trent. As she fell to the ground, they looked up sheepishly at each other.

"Oh...h-hey Trent."

"Hey Tara. Long time no see. You look great."

"So do you." Apparently, just before Candace came along, Tara had gotten to know Spangler's son really well, something Candace didn't know. That is why she did not want to do her dirty work for her, because secretly, Tara had feelings for the boy. "Oh boy, this is going to be a long day." She said to herself softly as Trent helped her up to her feet.

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, the evil scientist was now pacing around the room while his platypus nemesis could not help but look on. "OH, Perry the Platypus. Where did I go wrong with Vanessa?" He asked, but not really expecting an answer. "I mean, I fed her, I loved her, I included her in most of my evil plans, I got her that old Mary McGuffin doll she's been looking for for 10 years...I even tried to throw her dazzling birthday parties -- you know, to make up for the ones _I_ never got! And she's still so unappreciative! Ohh, she really just pushes my buttons even more than you do! And that's saying something, Perry the Platypus! Well then, she's left me with no choice."

He found himself walking over to one of the windows, and pulled out a small cube. He set it on the ground and instantly it grew into a giant laser, pointing out of the window, right at the building where the pageant was going to be held. "If I can't stop Vanessa from competing, then I'll just stop the pageant altogether! Behold, Perry the Platypus! I've upgraded my old Ugly-inator that I used last summer into the Super-Ugly-inator! With this, instead of just turning one person ugly, it turns a whole bunch of people into ugly, unappealing figures!"

"Once I fire this at Vanessa, she'll be so hideous and repugnant that nobody will want her to compete! She'll be so destraught that she'll run out of the building and come crawling back to me!" He laughed manically for a moment before realizing what he had just said. Then he looked at Perry for a moment who was both shocked and disappointed at Doofenshmirtz's reacted. "Yeah, I think I went a bit too far there...OK, OK. You know what?" He pressed a button on his machine, and watched as it shrunk and folded down into a simple 1 centimeter cube, small enough to fit into his coat pocket. "Forget this. This isn't worth it."

He took out a small, light blue digital watch, put it on his left wrist, and started playing around with it, setting a pre-determined time on his timer function. Why he did this we are about to find out. "Behold, a condensed, smaller version of my previous great contraption - the Invis-inator! By simply setting the timer on my watch to a pre-determined amount, this watch can cloak my skin to blend in with whatever background I'm in, thus making me virtually invisible to the naked eye! Oh, that reminds me." Before activating his watch, Dr. Doofenshmirtz did something totally unthinkingable. He stripped himself of all of his clohtes. "The only reason I'm doing this is become the flaw of this new invention, is that it stains clothes." He activated his watch, and he slowly began turning invisible, right before Perry's eye. "Since I'm not going to turn her ugly, I suppose the next best thing to do would be to...sabotage her."

Perry's eyes widened as he attempted to attack him, but it was too late. Not only was he invisible...he was also intangible, something even the scientist didn't know would happen. Being intangible meant that everything that tried to touch him would simply pass through him, including Perry's oncoming attack. "Hey, I didn't feel that! Ha ha! I am invincible! So long, Perry the Platypus!" The scientist ran out of the building, still untracable, heading over to the Danville Dome, the sight of the upcoming pageant, in an attempt to stop his daughter from competing in it.

* * *

Speaking of the pageant, it was finally time for it to begin. All of the competitors, including Isabella & Vanessa, arrived at the Danville Dome. The event was starting, and everybody was excited. It was even going to be broadcast live across the Tri-State Area.

"Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the 1st annual "Little Miss Cinderella" beauty pageant!" The announcer said to everybody in the audience. "We've got quite a show lined up for you today. We've got our pre-teen competiton for girls ages 8 to 12, and our teen competiton, for girls ages 16 to 18. We're starting off with our teen competition. So let's begin by meeting our competitors." (**A/N: I don't know much about beauty pageants, even after a lot of invested research into them. So please bear with me.**)

All of the teenaged competitors for the teen division of the beauty pageants walked out onto stage, all looking very elegant. Among them was Vanessa, who, against her father's wishes, was competing anyway, hoping to branch out of her "goth" reputation. Meanwhile, the little kids competing into the pre-teen division were backstage, watching the big TV screen in place for them to watch the show. They were all a bit nervous knowing that they would be competing soon after.

Nobody was more nervous than Isabella, who, unlike every other competitor, was wearing her regular outfit, instead of a ballgown. "Wow. Those girls all look beautiful." The girl said, shocked at how seriously they all took this competition. She assumed that there were other girls that were with her thinking, that beauty pageants were all stupid and sexist. "They must really be taking the competition seriously. I guess they really care about this stuff." She stood up and slowly backed away from the group to her dressing room. She took a seat in front of her dressing room mirror and checked her appearence.

Immediately, she began having doubts about her mission's success. She quickly realized that if she wanted to be noticed the way that the other girls would be noticed, she would have to play hard ball. "I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this. But now...I guess I have no other choice."

Before even thinking about it again, she grabbed some lavender lipstick and started perking up her lips. After that, she used lots of hairspray to spice up her hair, put on a beautiful purple ballgown to match her lip gloss, and even a bit of eye-liner. By the end of her crash makeover, she was definitely beauty queen material. "There!" She shouted triumphately. "All better! Now I'm gonna show those girls what pagentary is all about! Of course, I'll have to wait my turn..."

Meanwhile, outside, on stage, the teen division contestants were getting ready for the Q & A round (Question & Answer). They lined up in a straight line while the host got his index cards ready. Dr. Doofenshmirtz had snuck onto stage, still completely invisible and untouchable (and naked, too, mind you.) "Excellent. I am completely undetectable by radar. Now I just have to mess Vanessa's wardrobe up and her answers to the questions so she'll be too humiliated to want to continue competing." He crept over slowly to Vanessa, remaining as quiet as possible.

"And now, our first contestant, Miss Vanessa Doofenshmirtz." Vanessa stepped up to the front of the stage while the audience cheered. Heinz realized what was happening and quickly tried to follow her. "Your first question: What is your position on global warming?"

"I think it's horrible." Vanessa replied, giving a typical answer that everyone would expect from a contestant. "Of course, the problem is that most experts out there say the right things, but nobody takes any action to set things straight. Instead, they just sit on their butts and just talk. They don't do anything. Meanwhile, us hard working Americans are doing whatever we can to fix the problem and all we get is a lousy T-Shirt! How is _that_ fair!?"

Undoubtebly, everybody was surprised by that answer. This included the judges, the host, and the other contestants. Even her father was surprised. "Um...thank you, Vanessa." The host hesitated to say before the girl took her place back in line. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was perplexed, speechless, even.

"Wow...those are all the things that I have said at some point in my evil career. Perhaps she does know what she's doing." Heinz said, pondering for a moment before the next contestant came out. "Maybe I'm not approaching this correctly..."

* * *

Back at the academy, Tara and Trent were hanging out outside, the former trying to rekindle an old relationship. Tara's mission was supposedly to find out what Trent liked so Candace could use that to her advantage. But, since she already had a pre-existing relationship with him, she didn't need any time to do that. So she decided to kill some time by catching up for lost time with him.

"So I see you're still in to join the army." Trent said to his former lover.

"Yep. Followin' the dream." She said proudly.

"That's good."

"What about you?"

"Well, dad still wants me to run this place once he retires, but I was thinking of becoming a police officer. As least there, the only people I have to treat poorly are the criminals I arrest."

"I hear you. Your dad hasn't changed a bit."

"Same old pop. So, what's up with that new roommate of yours?"

"Who? You mean, Candace?"

"Yeah? Isn't she the girl that doesn't like her brothers and always tries to get them in trouble?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out for weeks, now. But she's just too darn stubborn. She lets her emotions get the best of her, and no matter what they're doing, even if it's nothing at all, she has to make sure that her mom gets them into trouble."

"Boy, that's gotta be rough on the boys."

"The worst part of it was that they didn't know she was intentionally trying to get them into trouble until about a week ago where she escaped the school and ran home to try and expose her mom for dating Spangler."

"Wait, her mom dated...my dad? Oh god!"

"You mean he never told you?"

"No. But, since I don't know the lady, I guess it doesn't really concern me."

"Yeah, so now one of her brothers is so upset at her that he told her off before Spangler came and shipped her back here. Now he hates her and doesn't care if she ever comes home."

"Wow...that's a really interesting story." Truth was, Trent was not interested in hearing about Candace. He still had feelings for Tara, and he wanted to rekindle their relationship. "Say, you wanna start dating again?"

"Excuse me!?" Tara took a step back after hearing him say that. She thought they were over forever.

"I said--"

"I heard what you said! But, I thought when you broke up with me that...you didn't want to ever hook up again. When we parted, you said you wanted to "be your own person". You wanted to "be a free spirit and have the whole experience, not just part of it". What happened to that?"

"Well...the truth was...while we were dating, I felt like I was trapped. I felt like I couldn't do the things I wanted to do because we were together. So when we broke up, I was convinced that it was the perfect opportunity to explore the world again. But lately I've been feeling a bit empty inside. So I convinced by dad to take me back here."

"Just to see me?"

"That's right." Tara started blushing madly as Trent started laughing. "Kinda crazy, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So...wanna go out again?"

The girl began tot hink about that for a moment. She truly did miss him, but she also knew that Candace wanted to get closer to him. "Well..." She hesitated in her answer.

* * *

The pageant was really heating up, as it was now time for the talent portion of the teen division competition. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next contestant for the talent portion...Miss Roberta Tubbs!"

As the audience cheered, the ceiling opened up as a giant cannon was loaded into the room. The girl stepped in wearing protective gear as she stepped into the cannon. It was aimed out of the building; everybody watched, hoping she would succeed with whatever she was planning to do. As soon as she was in, someone off-stage came on and lit the device up, and in seconds, it fired and shot her hundreds of feet into the air. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, looking at the ground as she approached her...target.

Actually, the place she was gunning for was hundreds of feet off from where she was headed. Still screaming her head off, she braced for impact; she began to plunge down to Earth at massive speeds after reaching speeds of about 100 miles per hour. Eventually, she got into a fetal position and took the blast as she slammed right into her father, Cleveland's house, completely destroying it.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked around and saw his daughter, laying in the grass, her daredevil suit dirty and her helmet slightly cracked open. "Oh my god! Roberta!" The girl sat up slowly and rubbed her head. "What are you doing landing on my house from 5,000 feet!?"

"Uh..."

"Oh don't tell me you went and competed in that pageant after I specifically told you not to!"

"You couldn't stop me, dad! Even if you tried!"

"Well at least you wore a protective suit. Otherwise, I'd be talking to you at your tombstone!"

Everyone back at the Dome couldn't believe what they just saw, and the same went to everyone watching at home. "I...don't think Roberta is coming back down to Earth anytime soon. So let's give her a hand." And with that, everybody erupted into loud cheering and applause, not realizing that not only was Roberta not coming back to Earth, she was much too far away from the Dome to make it back in time. "OK, let's move on to our next contestant..."

Backstage, Isabella was still in her dressing room, sprucing up her look, and practicing her routine for the talent competition. Phineas and Ferb entered the room to check up on her, and were surprised to see how much her looks and attitude had changed. "Isabella?" Phineas called, hoping the girl was just fooling around with him. "W-What happened to you?"

"What are you talking about, Phineas?"

"You look...absolutely gorgeous."

"Why thank you."

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

The boy edged closer to Isabella. "I thought you weren't gonna go all "battle diva" on us. You said you wanted to stay true to yourself and show these other girls what it really means to be a beauty queen."

"Have you seen those other girls? Everyone's gonna be focused on those girls and not me. I was gonna stick out like a sore thumb!"

"I can't let you go through with this."

"Well you can't very well stop me either!" She was beginning to raise her voice. "I_ am _going to win this thing...and they're going to help me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You notice the lipstick I'm wearing?" Phineas nodded. "Well, I stole this from Amy Zinger's room." The boy's eyes widened as Isabella continued. "I also stole this dress from Rochelle Madison's room, and the hairspray I used on my hair I stole from Amanda Morreli's room."

"What!? Are you crazy!"

"No, I'm competitive! I'm going to crush them all into dust and there's nothing you or Ferb can do to stop me! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for my big close-up." She turned her back to them, returning her focus to the mirror. The two boys slowly walked out.

"Oh man. Did you hear her, Ferb? She's becoming the very thing she set out to destroy! She's gonna go all competition-psycho on us and everybody unless we do something."

"And exactly what do you suppose we, two grade-schooler boys, who know absolutely nothing about the high-end world of feminism and fashion, are going to stop her from possibly hurting and/or humiliating herself and others?" Ferb asked.

"I don't know..."

Over on the other side of the stadium, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, still invisible, had found Vanessa's dressing room, and entered it. The first thing he did was look around and see what he wanted to do. "Wow, this is Vanessa's dressing room. It's so...elegant and...beautiful." He gazed at the wonderful lighting and the amazing dresses that were in her wardrobe. "All the more reason to trash it." And so he started roaming around the room, trying to find a place to start destroying things.

* * *

Back at the school, Candace was about to leave her room to take a trip to the bathroom. She left her room, reading one of Tara's magazines. She took one look up from it and saw Tara and Trent still talking, now holding hands. She was so shocked to see this, not realizing that it didn't really mean anything. In fact, they didn't even realizing they were doing it themselves.

"What is going on here!?" Candace shrieked as the two stopped and looked at her.

"We're just talking, Candace. Chill." Tara said calmly.

"Chill? CHILL!? Why should I "chill" when you're over here flirting with my future man!"

"Excuse me?" Trent was confused at what Candace meant.

"That's right, buddy! You and me! Getting married in a few years, and we're gonna have a boy and a girl named Xaiver and Amanda! Got it, bub!?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, girl! You can't talk to a guy like that! Especially when he's right here!?"

"Oh I wouldn't be flappin' my gums, sonny! You were supposed to be figuring out what he likes so I could date him, marry him, and have kids with him some day." Candace snorted loudly. "Way to come through for me, Tara!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you don't know how to treat a guy! And it's not my fault that _your_ stupid obsession with Phineas & Ferb caused you to miss out on a lot of great dates with your previous boyfriend! I mean, how many dates did you have before this that actually resulted in a fun time where you didn't think about your brother's once!?"

"Um...wait a minute, I know this...."

"My point exactly. You still need to get over your stupid obsession with your brothers. Only then will you realize the proper way to treat a gentlemen."

"OK, that's it!" Candace let her rage consume her and attacked Tara, pinning her to the ground. The two started brawling on the ground, fighting for Trent's love. Well, actually, Tara wasn't really fighting for that. She was just fighting to shut Candace up, while Candace was fighting to sweep Trent off of his feet. The two went at it for what seemed like hours when really...it was only about ten minutes. But that was enough to draw a crowd of other girls who were witnessing the two girls fight it out. They were pulling each other's hair and calling each other names and thensome. Eventually, the fight had to be broken up by Spangler himself, who saw and heard the two girls arguing.

"Break it up! Break it UP!" He shouted to get their attention. When that didn't work, he dove into the battlefield and pulled them off of each other. "What is the matter with you two!?" He turned to Candace. "I would expect such behavior from you, Candace." He then turned to Tara. "But from _you_, Tara? I'm shocked. But, I'm also curious? What on Earth is going on?"

"Well if you really want to know, Candace and I have been fighting because we both want to date your son." Tara explained.

"You? Date my son? But that's impossible. Just the other day, Trent was going on and on about his new girlfriend--"

"Uh, hey, HEY! Dad, uh, I got an idea. Wh-Why don't you show me that...that room where you...you burn stuff?"

"That would be the boiler room. And actually, I would prefer to hear that wonderful story about your girlfriend again. How did it go again?"

"Yeah." Now Candace was getting annoyed, and quickly, too. "How _did_ it go?"

"Um...i-it...the story. Ooh, uh..."

"I can't believe it! You've been deceiving us the whole time! You had a girlfriend and yet you wanted to go out with me again!" Tara shouted, angered.

"We-Well, the truth is...it's not really working out between Abby and I. We're getting into fights all the time, she doesn't like hanging out with me anymore...I've been meaning to break up with her for a while now, but the girl just does not understand it."

"Then what was so hard in just telling us from the start. You should have just said that so you wouldn't have been caught in this web of lies."

"I know. But hey, I'm a player. I like playin'. What's so hard about that?"

"You're going to pay for this!" Candace shouted. "And I know just how to do it!" She started snickering, having an idea of what to do with him. Trent started backing out of the room.

"You can't dump him into "The Hole"." Spangler jumped in before Candace could finish her thought. She was visibly disappointed. "Well, he _is_ my son."

"Then...can we run him up the flag pole up front?" Tara asked.

"Sure. Why not?"

"What!? Dad, you can't be serious!" Trent shouted.

"What can I say? You had it coming."

"Oh come on! Aren't you going to say anything to stop them!?" he continued to back out of the room as Candace and Tara edged towards him. "Wait. Wait! S-Stop! I'll drop-kick you! I'm serious! I won't hold back, and I don't care how attractive you are. Oh dear god, I'm dead!"

* * *

The teen division of the pageant had completed, but the winner wasn't going to be announced until the pre-teen division had completed. It was now time for the kids to prepare themselves to step onto the stage. Isabella was readying herself in her room, still with the things she stole from her competitors. Phineas decided to pay her one last visit before she went on. He went up to her door and knocked. "Isabella?"

"I'm a little busy right now." Isabella said harshly on the other side.

"This'll only take a minute."

There was a pause before Isabella spoke again. "OK, come in. But only for a minute." Phineas entered the room, holding something in his hand. "What do you want?"

"Isabella, I'm a bit worried about you. You've become the very thing you set out to expose. You wanted to show these people that they didn't need to be divas in order to win. But look at you! You're gushied up like you're going to an award show."

"What's your point?"

"You said that you wanted to enter this pageat to show the other girls that you don't need to act all high and classy to win. You just need to be yourself. But look at you now! You're wearing makeup and a dress you STOLE from your fellow competitors."

"Things change, Phineas. Maybe I decided I was wrong."

"You're not like that, Isabella."

"People change, Phineas."

"You don't really mean that."

"Look, if you're just going to sit here and waste my time with your lecture, then I'm going. I have to get onstage. It's almost time." She started storming towards the door. "My mother's legacy isn't going to continue itself, you know."

Those words struck Phineas like a chord, and instantly, he understood what was going on. Good thing, too, because I have no idea. "Your mother's legacy? You mean she was beauty queen too?"

"You know what? I don't have to sit here and explain myself to you! I have to go!"

"Isabella! Wait!" Phineas called out, getting her attention. "I think I understand what's going on." He slowly approached her. Isabella didn't try to retreat away from him. "You're trying so hard to live up to your mother's name because you're afraid that if you lose the pageant, you won't be good enough for her. Is that what this is all about?"

"T-That's crazy talk!"

"But it's true. You're under pressure to live up to your mother's name. But you're trying so hard that you're going to run yourself into a hole you can't dig out of."

Isabella stood there motionless for a moment. Everything was starting to become clear to her. She thought about it so much that she actually missed an announcement made by the host calling for all pre-teens to report to the stage. it was true. She felt that because her mother had won so many beauty pageants, if Isabella didn't win one, her mother would not have respect for her anymore. The stress was finally getting to her. "Do you know how hard it is to have such a successful parent -- one who's won so many trophies and contests!? Do you know how hard it is to live up to that!?"

"But that's the thing, Isabella. You don't have to follow her footsteps if you don't want to. You didn't really enter this pageant to prove a point. You just did it so your mother would be proud of you." Little did Isabella know that her mother, Vivian, was listening to the conversation the entire time.

"Isa..." The mother slowly approached her daughter and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "I didn't know you were worried about something like this. Look, I wouldn't have been mad at you if you lost this pageant. All I cared about was that you did your very best. And if your best meant not wearing frilly dresses or putting on huge amounts of make-up, then so be it."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

The daughter returned her mother's hug before she spoke up again, this time she was truly speaking her mind. "Mom...the truth is, I don't want to do this pageant anymore. I don't want to dress up in these frilly stupid dresses just to gain admiration."

"And you don't need to, Isabella." Phineas reassured her, hugging her. "You're a smart, innocent, and beautiful girl, and you don't need a pageant to show that."

"Thank you, Phineas." She blushed as she returned his hug. Now all was well once again. Well, almost...

A few seconds later, police sirens were heard, and a guy was heard struggling outside of Isabella's room. Everyone ran outside to see what the commotion was. They were all surely surprised to find policemen outside of Vanessa Doofenshmirtz's dressing room, ready to kick the door down. Speaking of Vanessa, she arrived not too much later and realized (sort of) what was going on. "What are you guys doing!? This is _my_ dressing room!"

"Sorry, son. But we got a tip saying that there was a naked man in there vandalizing it." One of the cops said arrogantly, completely ignoring the fact that Vanessa was a girl.

"Son. But I'm a girl--"

Again the cops ignored her, and started banging violently on the door. "Open up! Police!" They waited for a few seconds before they kicked the door down. Unbenounced to anybody, the person who gave the cops that tip was Perry the Platypus himself, and sure enough, he was right. They all gasped in shock when they said a completely nude Dr. Doofenshmirtz in there, and the entire room destroyed. The scientist heard the gasps and looked towards them, and then at himself, and saw that his Invis-inator had worn off.

"Um, this looks kinda bad, doesn't it?"

"Dad!! I can't believe you completely destroyed my room!" Vanessa shouted in anger, storming up to her father.

"I-I couldn't help it, Vanessa. I just didn't want you to humiliate yourself in this pageant like I was humiliated when I was a child."

"That was a long time ago, Dad! You can't hold it over me anymore. You have to let me go."

"Wait a minute. So, Perry the Platypus already told you."

"Yes. Yes he did. Well, sort of. Actually, he wrote it down for me. Look, Dad...as a parent, it's your job to do better for your kids. I'm not going to feel humiliated if I lose this pageant because it's something I want to do. I'm ready to express myself and get out of this goth persona I've had for years."

"Still, you're my baby girl. I just want to know that things are going to be OK for you, Vanessa."

"If you had just let me do this in the first place, things would've been OK."

"I-I suppose you're right. I am sorry, Vanessa. If you really want to do this pageant, I'll support you."

"Thanks, dad." The two hugged and made up, their bond now much stronger than ever. "By the way, any particular reason that you're naked?"

"Oh yeah...the Invis-inator watch stains clothes." He held up his left arm and showed everybody the watch, and started blushing in embarassment.

"Uh, I hate to interfere with this gooey love-feast, but we do have a job to do." One of the cops said as he approached Doofenshmirtz and put handcuffs on him. "Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, you're under arrest for Public Nudity."

"What!? Oh come on! That's not fair! I-I want to stay here and watch my daughter compete!"

"Sorry buddy, but because of you, the pageant has to be cancelled now."

Immediately there were groans and moans from the competitors, including Vanessa, excluding Isabella, who was relieved that it was cancelled. As the police officers were dragging Doofenshmirtz away, Vanessa ran to block the door. "Wait a minute! Wait!" She shouted to them, stopping them. "That's it? My room is completely wrecked and all my dresses except the one I'm wearing are ruined, and all you're charging him with is _Public Nudity_!? Look! My room is toast!"

"Yeah, we noticed that. It's wrecked."

"You really should take more care of your property, son." And with that, the two cops pushed Vanessa out of the way like she was a guy, and were on their way to the police station. Strangely enough, though, Vanessa was focused on the fact that the cops had just called her a boy. Twice.

"I'm a girl!"

**End of Episode 14!**

**Next Time: It's Phineas's birthday, and his friends vow to give him the best party ever! Meanwhile, something unthinkable happens, and it may change the way the Flynn family thinks forever.**

**Expected Update: ???**


	20. 15: Birthday Bash

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 15: Birthday Bash**

**Episode Summary: It's Phineas's birthday, and with a history of having less-than-exceptional parties, at least compared to his other friends, they all vow to make this birthday the "Best Birthday Ever!" Meanwhile, after Linda discovers something she never knew about Phineas & Ferb, she tries to make amends with Candace. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plans to take over the Tri-State Area interfere with the party plans...sort of.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was going down. The day was almost over, and the kids were almost done playing for the day. At the moment, they were all playing with a giant trampoline that Phineas and Ferb had built earlier, and they were all having a good time, but the sun was about to set, and they all knew that it was almost time for them to part.

"Kids!" Mr. Fletcher, the boys' father, called from the house. "It's getting late. It's time for you all to head home!"

"Aww!" They all moaned simoltaneously as they all jumped off the trampoline and started heading towards the house.

"Now don't worry, kids. We'll see you all tomorrow for the celebration."

"Celebration?" Phineas questioned, having forgotten about his own birthday. It was tomorrow, and he had totally forgotten about it. "Oh yeah! My birthday's tomorrow! Wow, I was having so much fun seizing each day that I completely lost track of time."

"So, Phineas, what exciting, spectacular adventure are we going on tomorrow?" Isabella asked, eager to enjoy Phineas's birthday with him in a way no non-couple could ever imagine.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could just hang here and play some party games or something."

"Oh...really?" She was disappointed because for once, Phineas did not have anything exciting planned for them the following day.

"Well, it's getting late. Come on, Ferb. It's time to hit the hay. G'Night, guys." Phineas waved goodbye to his friends as he and Ferb entered the home with Lawrence. The friends shouted their goodbyes back to them before they were out of sight. They all just stood there for a moment, completely silent. Nobody really knew why Phineas refused to do anything exciting for his birthday, at least compared to every other day of the summer. But Isabella was determined for that to be different this year.

"Did you guys ever notice that every day of the summer but Phineas's bitrhday is generally exciting and filled with amazing adventure?" Isabella asked. Everybody responded differently, but the same point came across. "I know, right? I mean, they're exciting 'cause we play lots of fun games and stuff. But they're not "Finding Atlantis" or "Driving Monster Trucks" cool. An-And Phineas never seems to enjoy them."

"Maybe Phineas would prefer a quiet and peaceful enviornment to enjoy the anniversary of the day he was brought into this world." Baljeet inquired. "Not everything has to be "Big and eventful" you know."

"But that's not his style. Phineas always likes to push the boundary. He likes to keep having bigger and better adventures. It jsut seems like he doesn't know how to throw an exciting birthday party. I wish there was some way we could give Phineas one amazing birthday with everything he could ever dream of." The girl pondered on that thought for a long moment. Her biggest desire was to make Phineas happy any way she could, no matter what the stakes were. She came up with an idea a moment later, and was getting very excited about it. "I got it!" She turned to her flat-out confused friends. "Guys, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow. I have a plan to give Phineas the best birthday ever!"

"What is it?" An impatient, yet eager Buford asked.

"I'll let you in on it tomorrow. All of you meet me in my backyard tomorrow morning at 6:00 AM sharp for phase 1. I have to go inside and talk to Mr. Fletcher about it. Synchronize your watches, fellas."

Everyone looked down at their wrists and realized that none of them were wearing watches. "I am not wearing a watch."

Isabella groaned. "Just go home and don't be late tomorrow! This plan has to go perfectly."

Later that night, Isabella had gone inside to talk to Lawrence to let him in on her plan. He agreed to help her in any way he could. She was originally going to ask Linda to help them. But she along with Isabella's mother, Buford's mother, Baljeet's mother, and Jeremy's mother, were going to the spa to get peticures. Thankfully, Phienas was asleep, so he did not hear anything that she, Lawrence. or Isabella had said.

* * *

The following morning, at 5:30 AM, Isabella awoke and got herself dressed quickly to give herself enough time to eat breakfast before the others came by. She was a bit groggy from not sleeping as much as she should since she spent half the night setting up an activity for Phineas to keep him busy, and the fact that she had to awaken early for her "Birthday Bash" plan.

Everyone piled into the backyard including the Fireside Girls, whom all had been informed last night by Isabella of the plan. It was foolproof, but it required precision and complete focus, the latter nobody had entirely. But...it was better than nothing. "Glad you guys could make it, and --" She took a quick look around and realized that Irving, Phineas & Ferb's self-proclaimed "biggest fan" was also there. "Irving! What are you doing here? How did you hear about our meeting here?"

"I'm always up-to-date on anything Phineas & Ferb related. Besides, Baljeet wouldn't stop squealing to me about it & complaining that you don't pay enough attention to him." Irving answered while Baljeet looked down sheepishly.

"Baljeet!"

"Why won't you love me!" The Indian boy screamed as he pouted and crossed his arms.

"OK...now that that dispute is over, let's get down to business." She pulled out a giant blueprint, complete with plans for a giant amusement park that was going to be built in Phineas & Ferb's backyard, as part of Isabella's "Extreme Birthday Makeover" plan. She also took out several pieces of paper with a schedule printed out on them and passed it out to everybody. "We've got an entire fun park to build and we've got just 8 hours until party time."

"You expect us to get this done by 2:00 this afternoon?" Buford questioned. "How are we gonna do that?"

"If we follow these plans to the latter and stick to the schedule, we shoudl have everything done in time."

"But how are we gonna keep Phineas occupied long enough to get everything set up?" Adyson asked.

"Don't worry about that. Mr. Fletcher will handle that."

* * *

Inside the home, Lawrence Fletcher was in Phineas's room, about to awaken the sleeping boy. With an unopened letter in his hand, all part of Isabella's plan, he approached him and slowly shook him. "Phineas, darling, wake up." He said quietly as to not cause any distress to him while he was waking up.

The boy slowly opened his eyes and looked up, surprised to see his father awakening him, and his step-brother not asleep in the other bed. "D-Dad? What's going on? WHat time is it?"

"6:00. Happy birthday, son."

"Oh. Thanks, dad." They reached out and hugged each other before Phineas noticed that there was a letter in his hand, and that his stepbrother, Ferb, was missing. "Where's Ferb at? He never wakes up without me. And what's with the letter in your hand?"

"Your friend, Isabella, set up a "birthday scavenger hunt" for you, and I have the first clue right here in my hand."

"A scavenger hunt?"

"Yes. Isabella said that there was a big surprise for you at the end of it. So we'd better get cracking. Get dressed and meet me in the car in ten minutes. We'll get breakfast on the way."

"Cool." Phineas jumped out of bed as Lawrence left, and headed for his closet to put on a clean pair of clothes. "A scavenger hunt, huh? I wonder what Isabella has in store for me. Still, I wonder where Ferb could be at?" He looked around as he was changing and realized Perry was nowhere to be found too. "And Perry, too."

* * *

Perry was already in his secret lair, about to receive a mission from Major Monogram. "Good morning, Agent P." He said on the other side of the screen. "We suspect that your nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, is creating a device that will erase all pen ink across the Tri-State Area. As if the Postal department didn't have enough to worry about already. WIthout mail, how will people communicate? It's mass hysteria, I tell ya! Hurry and stop him, Agent P! Before all of humanity is destroyed!"

Perry saluted him and went on his way.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Le Rub de Scrub spa, Linda, Vivian, Biffany (Buford's mother), and Baljeet's mother (first name unknown at this point) were all enjoying mud baths together. Excited to finally get a chance to spend a day away from their children, they happily lost themselves in the mud.

"Oh, this is nice. I haven't had one of these since last summer when Candace tried to get the boys in trouble for building a "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror." Linda commented, soaking in as much as she could, and reflecting.

"It's a shame what happened to her, isn't it?" Baljeet's mother said.

"Perhaps if she didn't harp on her brothers so much, she wouldn't have had to leave." Vivian said.

"Who knows? Maybe her time in military school will do her some good." Linda replied. "Maybe when she's rehibilitated, she'll have no desire to get the boys in trouble."

"_If_ she's rehabilitated." Vivian added. "You saw how she was the last time she was here."

"Yeah...don't remind me." Hoping to get off the subject of Candace, Linda grabbed the remote nearby and turned the TV on. Unfortunately, it was on a news channel and it was covering a story about Phineas & Ferb.

"Good morning, I'm Diane Simmons. And our top story today: Can imagination be taken too far? The story about two young stepbrothers who defy the laws of science and physics on a daily basis in order to have the "best day ever. Tom Tucker has this exclusive story."

Linda was about to change the channel until she heard the word "stepbrothers" come up. She was convinced it had absolutely nothing to do with her two sons, but she was interested with what the news report had to offer.

"For generations, mankind has strived to make any day a fun and exciting day, especially children, whose imagination, at the ripe age of 10, is still developing." The television screen switched to a scene showing Phineas and Ferb riding in a giant rollercoaster, which was actually their first ever summer project, at least as far as we know. (**Rollercoaster**) Linda's jaw dropped when she saw that, while everyone else wasn't surprised, since, apparently, Linda was the only person that didn't know about their daily activities. The scene then switched to the boys with these "Perry the Platypus Inaction Figure" toy **(Toy to the World),** then to the boys in a giant bubble **(Bubble Boys)**, then to them with their giant fort **(Thaddeus and Thor)**, and finally, to a frozen shot of Phineas and Ferb.

"These two boys, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, stepbrothers, best friends, allies, grade-schoolers, have on a daily basis defied the odds of physics and imagination."

Linda was in total shock. It had only been 3 of the hundreds of insane projects Candace had tried to bust Phineas and Ferb for, but already, she was feeling depressed.

"Ranging from building a rollercoaster, floating around town in a bubble, hosting a game show, making the world's most delicious pizza or the world's largest airplane made of paper mache, or impersonating a superhero known as "The Beak", these boys give the term "free-spirit" a new meaning." THe scene switched several times, each depicting the activity Tom mentioned in order.

Linda was horrified at what she was seeing. "So...so all those times Candace came to get me to get the boys in trouble...she was actually telling the truth? She wasn't crazy! She was right?"

"Yes. Yes she was." Vivian said calmly. She, along with practically everyone else in Danville were aware of the boys' antics, but they didn't really care because they weren't hurting anybody. Linda, however, was a much different story.

"H-How long has this been going on!"

"A few years now." Again, she said casually.

"A-Am I...Am I the only person that was completely unaware of their activities?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"Then...then why didn't any of you come to me and tell me any of this!"

"Linda, please. If you didn't believe your own daughter when she was telling the truth every single time, why would you possibly believe _us_about anything?" Baljeet's mother asked.

"Well, it's different. Because you guys are my friends, and Candace is..."

"Your _daughter_, Linda." Buford's mother replied. "She's your own daughter."

"Um, yeah. B-But..."

"And yet you wonder why she always acts so crazy around them and you." Vivian added. "Face it, Linda. This whole time Candace was telling the truth and yet you thought she was insane. For shame."

"It's not my fault! Those boys' crazy inventions are never there when I get home. And it's certainly not my fault she's always mean to them and puts them down."

"No, but I don't think that justifies the fact that she's been right all along."

"Well, but...I-I...oh forget it! I don't need you guys!" And with that, she stood up, put a towel around her, got her clothes, and left angrily, not so much at them or Candace, but more so herself.

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, Lawrence and Phineas were in their car, with Phineas being driven around by his father, who was supposed to keep him busy as long as possible while the kids got to work with his birthday surprise.

"So, dad, did Isabella tell you what this big "surprise" was at the end of this hunt?" PHineas eagerly asked his father.

"No, deary, but knowing you kids, I'm sure it's going to be great." The father replied as they pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street. "Now, Isabella said that we can't return back home until we do everything instructed us. Now, our first clue should be located..." He noticed he was coming up on his first location. So, he punched on the gas pedal, turned the wheel to the left violently, and crashed his car into Cleveland Brown's house. Ironically (and hilariously) he was taking a bath.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked around as Lawrence exited the car, followed shortly by Phineas. "Hey, what's the big idea..." It was then that Cleveland noticed Phineas standing there, looking a bit confused. "Oh, hey, I know you. You're that kid that built that huge Rollercoaster last summer."

"Yep. That's me."

"Your little girlfriend gave me this letter and told me to give it to you." Cleveland took out from behind him a sealed envelope and handed it to Lawrence, who promptly opened it and read it to himself.

"Oh goody. It's our second clue. Come, my son. We're wasting precious daylight." Lawrence and Phineas piled back into the car and drove off, leaving Cleveland lying on the ground.

"And stay away from my house, punks!" He yelled shaking his fist violently in the air.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the scientist was busy working on his latest invention. Perry was about to bust in through the wall, but his attempt failed because the outside of the wall was covered with fly paper. Anticipating his arrival, Doofenshmirtz flipped the wall and revealed the platypus still stuck to it. "Perry the Platypus. What perfect timing. You're just in time to see my latest evil scheme. I give you..." He pulled out a small laser pen that was turned off. "The Ink Drying...inator...uh, you know what? I haven't actually given it a proper name yet. I've used "inator" in my invention names so many times it's become hard to think of any clever names. Anywho..." Perry was able to break out of the fly paper trap, but decided to hear out Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plan before giving him a whooping.

"With this device, if I just aim it at any piece of paper with writing on it, the pen will make the writing disappear. So I will essentially be eliminating all means of communication throughout the entire Tri-State Area!" The scientist began to laugh, thinking he had the perfect plan. But a couple of moments later, Perry took out a cordless telephone and held it up. "Oh, uh...I guess there's the phone. But still, if the phone company decides to stop funding for telephone service..." He was stopped again when Perry took out a small laptop. "Oh, well, there's that, but..." Then he took out a telegram. "But who uses _those_ things anymore? OK, look. Look, I realize that there are other ways to talk other than letters. But this is a good plan, Perry the Platypus! It's a good plan! Don't judge me!"

He walked over to his window, opened it, and pulled the trigger. "Just watch, Perry the Platypus! And shudder, as my greatest invention ever fires!" He waited for a big blast from his ray gun. But...instead, he simply got a small ball forming at the end of of the nozzle, which was slowly expanding. "I-It takes a few minutes to charge up. That's why I built this." He took out a small cup-holder and placed it on the windowsill, and then placed the gun inside of in. "It's a cup holder...for guns..."

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, construction had started up for the "Ultimate Amusement Park" that Isabella wanted to give Phineas. Some guys were busy working on a rollercoaster on the far end of the backyard, while others were going to bring a waterslide in. There was also a fun house cp,omg, along with some other booths that contained carnival games being set up.

"OK, we have 5 carnival booths on order, one Ring Toss, one Guess Your Weight, one Darts, one water gun game, and one Dunk Tank carnival game." The guy handed Isabella a clipboard to sign. "Sign here. By the way, aren't you a little young to be ordering all of this stuff for a birthday party."

"Yes. Yes I am. You got a problem, punk?" SHe gave him a death stare before he realized he should shut up.

"No ma'am."

"Good. Now scram. We got a lot of stuff to do." She signaled him to leave, which he did promptly. As soon as he was out of sight, Isabella took out a walkie-talkie to get in touch with some of her crew. "Come in, Baljeet. How're we doing with the waterslide?"

"_Baljeet to Isabella. We're having some slight issues concerning the waterslide."_

Uh oh. She did not want to hear that. "What kind of problem?"

"_Well, currently, the only waterslide avaliable in the Tri-State Area is at the Old Abandoned Old Abandoned Amusement Park."_

"Yeah...and?"

"_Well, it turns out that they are finally going to tear down this old dump and they will not give us that waterslide. They will not even sell it."_

"But we need that waterslide for our fun park!"

"_Then you come down here and talk to the manager. He won't even speak to me!"_

"Why not?"

"_He's not very found of Indians."_

"O...kay." She put her walkie-talkie away and concentrated at the task at hand. There were several delivery trucks coming up to the front of the house. She had to meet up with the delivery men so she could receive her order of refreshments & fountain drinks (soda).

* * *

Out into the town, Phineas and Lawrence were still full force into Isabella's scavenger hunt. Their second clue, which they obtained by crashing their car into Cleveland's house, instructed them to head over to the Danville mall. For this clue, Phineas was going to revisit the fateful day he discovered the world of fashion. **(Run Away Runway)**

The two men walked around the mall, with Lawrence leading the way. Truthfully, he knew exactly where in the mall he was supposed to be going. But he chose to keep stalling to give Isabella and the others as much time as possible to set up Phineas's gift. When they arrived at the exact location, it didn't take long for Phineas to catch on immediate. He was able to remember all of his past adventures with Ferb and his other friends.

"Hey! I remember this spot. This is where Ferb and I auctioned off our newest fashion design, all part of the "Summer All The Time" collection." Phineas reminisced, beginning to drift into memory lane, and it was almost instantly clear to Lawrence.

"Now don't get so down, boy. I know it's your first birthday without your sister. But try to think of the postivies."

"Don't worry, dad. I'm fine. I just miss her, is all." He walked up to a piece of paper taped to the stage where their fashion design was displayed.

"Yes, you and Ferb along with your other friends have shared hundreds of adventures over the years." Lawrence jumped in.

"Yeah, we do. It's too bad Candace can't enjoy them like we can." And suddenly his happy thoughts were replaced with sappy and lonely thoughts. Even though he was mad at her, he still missed his sister. "Oh well. Can't change the past, I suppose." He read the piece of paper, which gave him instructions to his next clue. "Your first fashion line beat all the rest. Summer All The Time was truly the best. Your next stop leading to your birthday surprise took off from English ground before our very eyes. Hmm...English ground..."

"My, Isabella's not making this easy for you. I mean, it could be anything she's referring to."

"Actually, dad, I think she's referring to the giant waterslide Ferb and I built in England last summer." **(Elementary, My Dear Stacy)**

"You built a giant waterslide?"

"Yeah. Lots of times. But you shoulda seen this one. It was huge! We built it around the Big Ben, and then, suddenly, out of nowhere, it takes off from the sky before it lands right back on the ground."

"I'm sure it was exciting, but how do you expect that we travel to England and back in less than a day?"

"Don't worry about that, dad. I think I might have a solution..."

* * *

Meanwhile, out near the edge of town, Linda was busy with her own problems. She had the daunting task of confronting her own daughter about Phineas and Ferb's outrageous activities after discovering that she had been right all along. It seemed so heart-wrenching to know that the very person you sent away for being crazy was actually right. Linda was still trying to take it all in as she slowly drove up to Spangler's military school.

In the meantime, Candace was busy in her room, looking through some magazines Tara loaned her on how to deal with teenage stress, more specifically, how to deal with younger brothers. She had absolutely no idea that her mother was coming to express her sorrow.

Linda pulled up to the school, got out of the car, stared at the building, and cringed. She had a few thoughts over how her conversation with Candace would go down. For one, she thought that her sincerest apologizes to her only daughter would go unsympathized, and her daughter would reject her and send her on her way. Another thought she had led her to think that her apologizes would make things alright between them, and they would be able to rekindle their relationship.

But then she began to think about what would happen with Phineas and Ferb. What was she going to do with them? They never actually meant to hurt anyone with their outrageous schemes day after day, and yet still, she couldn't let her daughter down again. All of these thoughts, and more, circled through her mind as she entered the school. Upon entering, she could see a handful of the girls just hanging around, minding their own business. There was no sign of Candace, though.

She was hesitant to go up to one of the girls and ask for her daughter. But she gathered up the courage and went up to one of the girls near what she didn't know was Candace's room. "Excuse me, young lady, but can you tell me where Candace Flynn is?"

"And who are you supposed to be? Her mother?" The girl answered coldly, having grown to dislike Candace. Not hate, dislike. There's a difference.

"Why yes, yes I am."

The girl took Linda's shoulders and looked at her with some sympathy. "I am so sorry for you." This initially implied to Linda that something terrible had happened to Candace, which scared her down to the core. But once the girl went on to explain how Candace had been the past few weeks, it all started to become clear. It was so clear that Candace was having a hard time adjusting to this new environment, while also trying to get over her obsession with getting her brothers in trouble. Every time something fun and exciting that the boys have done would come up in a conversation, Candace would go totally ballistic and start screaming and calling the boys "demons" or "animals" or "dream crushers" or something like that. She has been annoying everybody, including Commandant Spangler, like this for the past several weeks.

This gave Linda something new to think about. At first, she was ready and willing to bring Candace home and have things return to normal. But now, she was unsure. She was a bit scared for Phineas & Ferb's safety, especially considering that Candace has always had a temper problem. Even if she wasn't going to bring her home, she still at least wanted to apologize for not believing her for so long.

"I have to find Candace." Linda said, turning back the other way in an effort to find her daughter, missing a perfect opportunity considering Candace was in the room that was right next to her.

* * *

While Linda was busy trying to find and reconcile with her daughter, Phineas and Lawrence were busy with the scavenger hunt. Their next stop required them to go to England to revisit Phineas and Ferb's giant water slide around the Big Ben, so Phineas whipped up a teleportation device to get him and his stepfather to England in a heartbeat.

"Now _that_ is the only way to travel." Lawrence said, having enjoyed the ride. He and Phineas casually walked over to the giant clock that was in the middle of England.

"You said it, dad. Now come on. We gotta find Isabella's next clue for me." Phineas almost immediately saw another piece of paper near the top of the clock. The two found a secret door in the back of the clock. (Much like the one Perry used in the episode **Elementary, My Dear Stacy**). They used the elevator to ride to the very top of the clock, where Phineas was able to get a hold of the next clue. "Got it, dad." He opened up the folded piece of paper and read it aloud. "Your England waterslide was lots of fun. But now it's time for fun in the sun. You discovered the Lost City, still as fun-loving as can be. It's time for a little journey down under the sea. Cool." He looked down at his father, who stayed on the ground due to his slight fear of heights. That, and anything metal. "Hey dad! We need to buy some swim trunks!"

"What for?" He called back.

"We're going to the beach!"

From way up there, Phineas could hear the growling of his stepfather's stomach. "Can we at least stop and eat some lunch first?"

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, his new laser gun was finally ready for use. The evil scientist took his gun out of its holder on the window and aimed it outside. "At last, Perry the Platypus. My invention is ready to fire. Now observe as I halt all old-school methods of communications!" He pulled the trigger and fired his ray gun at a totally random spot. Unfortunately for Phineas, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's ray hit the note that was stashed at the bottom of the ocean, which was his next clue. As a result, the writing on it was washed completely away, along with his chances of finishing the hunt.

"Now keep in mind, Perry the Platypus. I have absolutely no idea what I hit. But I am truly confident that I have just ruined somebody's good mood." Perry shook his head, not impressed by the scientist's "evil plan", if you could even call it that. "What? Oh, so you-you don't think it's evil enough, do you? Well, w-what would you do if you were that one guy w-who was just reading something a-and then - and then the words on the paper just got washed away and you have no idea how that happened. Y-You'd be like "How did that happen? One minute I was reading a wonderful mother's day card my son got for me and then the next, the words disappear!"

Perry still shook his head, even less impressed than he was before.

"Oh shut up, Perry the Platypus."

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, construction for Phineas's dream amusement park was going rather smoothly now. There were lots of rides up, including a Ferris Wheel, carnival booths, rollercoasters, some ride called "The Gravatron", heck they even sent a clown to perform. And by clown, I mean maid named Consuela dressed up as a clown.

"Looks like things are running well. We're almost done and we still have nearly 2 hours to spare." Isabella said looking at her watch and at her clipboard. "We're ahead of schedule, and if we keep going at this rate, we should be done with about 20 minutes to spare."

"Isabella!" Milly called as she, Gretchen, and Holly came barreling down the street in a frenzy.

"What? What's the matter?" She quickly asked them.

"Phineas is already back from England with the next clue! He's completing our scavenger hunt faster than we first anticipated!" Gretchen explained.

"Apparently, he whipped up some sort of teleportation device and transported him and his dad to England to find the clue in no time at all. Now they're back and the only thing that's stopping them from completing it is their growling stomachs." Holly continued. "They're over at the Googleplex mall having lunch in Burger King."

"Since when does the Googleplex have a Burger King?"

"Since three months ago."

"Oh. Well, why am I the last to know about this?"

"Why does that matter? What matters is that we have to slow those guys down. If they complete the scavenger hunt before we're done with construction, it'll ruin the surprise." Gretchen yelled.

"We have to stall them by any means necessary."

"What do you suggest, chief?" Milly asked.

"How should I know? You guys are the brains of the squad. Think of something!"

"Hey, we're just kids! We're not perfect!"

While Holly, Gretchen, and Isabella were arguing, Milly decided to sneak away and head over to the beach to get a head start on her idea. Uh oh. What was she planning?

* * *

Meanwhile, over at the mall, Lawrence and Phineas were enjoying delicious cheeseburgers in Burger King, and I really mean "enjoying", well, at least in Phineas's case.

"This is the best lunch I've ever had!" Phineas said, while enjoying every single bite he took our of his cheeseburger, his second one, to be exact.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it, Phineas. It was worth every penny of it. All $25 worth of it." Lawrence muttered those last 5 words under his breath.

"As soon as we're done here, we can head over to the beach to find my next clue. We're probably getting close to the end. I can't wait to see what kind of surprise Isabella has waiting for me."

So after the two finished their lunches, they drove off to the beach where Phineas and his friends first discovered Atlantis. There, after changing into their swim trunks, put on some scuba-diving equipment Phineas brought along with him, and dove deep into the ocean, in search of their next clue.

Meanwhile, up above the sea, a helicopter with a metal claw hanging from the bottom that carried a metal cage was closing in on the sea, only about 30 miles away. This was all part of Milly's "plan" to stall Phineas for as long as possible. Her plan was to put the cage over the two men and keep them locked up as long as it took for construction of his present to complete.

Now, back under the sea, Phineas had found the piece of paper that was supposed to contain his next clue. But, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's invention had caused the text on the note to be erased earlier that day. So when he opened it, he was disappointed and surprised to see nothing on it. "Huh, that's strange."

"What's the matter, boy?" Lawrence asked.

"There's nothing written here. I wonder why Isabella did that. Does she just expect me to figure it out myself, or..." His voice began to trail off when he looked up and noticed that there was some sort of stick sticking up from the city. Actually, it was one of the rides that Isabella was having built for Phineas's amusement park. You know, that ride that slowly takes you up in the sky and then drops you back down in, like, 3 seconds. Phineas swam up to shore, Lawrence following closely behind him, curious, to see what was going on. "What's going on, over there? It looks like some sort of ride is being built."

"Maybe they're not closing down the Old Abandoned Amusement Park after all."

"No, that looks like it's by our house." Phineas took out some binoculars (man, he has everything!) and tried to get a closer look, and each time he zoomed in, his suspicisons grew stronger. "Yeah, it looks like it's somewhere in our neighborhood."

"Maybe _that's_ Isabella's surprise."

"Maybe...let's go home and see for ourselves." As the two started heading back to their car, Milly instructed the helicopter pilot to drop the cage on them. Instantly, he released the claw and dropped the cage on them, imprisoning them and keeping them from spoiling the surprise. "Hey, what's happening? Where'd this cage come from?"

* * *

_Ring! Ring!_ Isabella answered her cellphone. It was Milly on the other line. "Talk to me."

"_Consider Phineas & his dad stalled._"

"That's great. What'd you do?"

"_Um, I'm not exactly sure you'd want me to tell you..."_

Suddenly, Isabella's iPhone began beeping as she was getting a news update. "Hold that thought, Milly. My News application is ringing." She fiddled with her phone until a video popped up of a live streaming news cast.

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker with breaking news. Terror strikes Danville as a young boy and his father are imprisoned in a metal cage along the coast of the Danville beach."

Isabella gasped as the news camera panned over to Phineas & Lawrence locked up in Milly's cage. "No! Phineas!"

"Sources claim that a young girl in a girl scouts outfit was seen riding in a helicopter that was carrying this cage before it dropped and trappedthose two men inside."

Isabella shut off her video function and returned to her call. "Milly..."

"_I can explain!"_

"I said for you to _stall_ them, not _imprison_ them!"

"_Hey, be thankful I was able to do something! Do you know how hard it is to get some service this fast?"_

Isabella groaned angrily, shut her phone off, and started running frantically towards the beach in an attempt to help her friend.

* * *

Back at school, after having searched for Candace all day, Linda decided to give up and return home. What she failed to do was look up which room Candace was living in, because that's where she was all day: in her room, on her bed, reading a magazine.

After Linda had left, a bit dejected, Tara (Candace's roomate in case you forgot) came rushing into her room, holding a note that Linda had written for Candace. "Candace! You gotta see this!" She shouted, getting the girl's attention.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me your mom was coming today."

Those words struck Candace as she put her magazine down and ran up to her roommate, snatching the note out of her hand. "Let me see that!" She opened up the folded paper and started reading it outloud. "'Dear Candace, I don't know how I could possibly express my deep sorrow and regret to my own daughter. You were right about your brothers all along. All those times I mocked you behind your back and called you delusional and crazy to my friends. But you were telling the truth. And now, not being able to find you in this school after searching all day, I feel as though that I have failed you as a mother. I'm deeply sorry for causing you such distress when there was no reason to. I hope that someday, you'll be able to return home and we can work this out. Lots of love and best wishes, Mom."

Candace gave the latter back to Tara and looked at her in utter shock. "Wow..."

"I know, right?" Tara replied. "It's crazy."

She continued to wrap her mind about it for a second, and then broke out into loud laugther, having officially lost her mind. "Yeah, I know! What a loser! Ha ha!"

Tara's face & jaw fell, dropping the letter without realizing it; she was so shocked that Candace had that state of mind. "What?"

"Can you believe my mom would stoop down to that level? I can't believe she's mocking me!"

"What the heck are you talking about, you crazy psychopath?"

"She knows that I have wanted to bust Phineas and Ferb for years but have never succeeded! Now, when I'm at the end of my rope, trying to get over my obsession, she sends me this letter of lies! I mean, does she honestly think she can get away with it?"

"Candace, I don't think she's trying to insult you. I actually met your mom, and she seemed geniunely upset."

"What? That's ridiculous."

"She said she first realized that you were right about them when Channel 5 aired some sort of exclusive story about Phineas & Ferb and their wild adventures, saying it would revolutionize the world of imagination. She came by here to find you and apologize to you for not believing you and sending you here in the first place, and then hoped to bring you home today."

"I don't believe you."

"It's true. She said that if she had known about them before this summer, she wouldn't have sent you here in the first place!" Slowly beginning to regain her sense of composure, Candace began to formulate a plan of action towards this stunning turn of events. "Candace..." And Tara wasn't liking the evil grin she was getting on her face. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking that my moment of triumph has finally arrived!"

"I...don't like where this is going."

"No, don't you see, Tara? This is a perfect opportunity. Now that my mom finally knows that I've been right about Phineas and Ferb all these years, she must be feeling down on herself, like she's such a loser. I know I would if I was in her position."

"OK...so..."

"So, she's probably going to be calling here alot now, asking Spangler to talk to me. But if I can get inside her head and make her feel even more miserable by refusing to talk to her or even acknowledge her, she'll finally crack and have no choice but to make me supreme overload of those dweebs she calls Phineas & Ferb!"

"But Candace, what about your mission to quit obsessing over them! And don't you think you're being a bit too hard on your mother?"

"Mission schmission! It's my time to shine, and ain't nobody stoppin' me! And no, no I'm not being too hard on Mom. If anything, _she_ was too hard on _me_! I'll show her and I'll show those twerps that they can't mess with me." With that, she started laughing maniacally

Tara shook her head and slowly left the room, wondering if she could ask Spangler for a new roommate.

* * *

Isabella and the rest of the gang rushed over to the beach to help save Phineas & Lawrence. They managed to hitch a ride from a stranger and make it to the beach while construction of his amusement park was still occuring at his house.

"Phineas!" Isabella yelled running up to the cage. "Oh my poor baby! What happened to you?"

"Some helicopter dropped this cage on us, and now we can't get out." Phineas reached out his arms as far as he could out of the cage and wrapped them around Isabella's neck in an attempt to hug her. Ferb and the others came up as well.

"I can't believe Milly dropped _this_ on you." Adyson said. "Who knew she was this deviant?"

"This'll be a great picture for my scrapbook!" Irving shouted, taking out a digital camera and snapping away at Phineas & Lawrence trapped in their cage.

_At least this time the camera's pointed up._ Phineas thought to himself before turning back to his stepbrother. "So Ferb, what was up with the scavenger hunt Isabella set up for me?"

"Well, I was instructed not to reveal anything about it to you, but...if you must know..." Ferb was beginning to hesitate, so Isabella interfered.

"It was my idea, Phineas." She said quickly, getting his attention.

"It was merely a distraction." Ferb continued. "The plan was to have you running around town long enough for us to get your present ready."

"Really? Wow, that's so nice of you. It must've been big."

"The truth is, Phineas, we wanted to give you the best birthday ever, so we got to work on...building you an amusement park in your backyard." She said the last part of that sentence quickly. Her biggest fear was that Phineas would not like the idea and resent it harsfully.

"An amusement park? You went through all this trouble...for me?" While he and Isabella were talking, Ferb got to work picking the lock on the cage.

"Well, your past birthday parties were never really as spectacular as your regular adventures, so I thought that maybe for once, you could have a really amazing party. Phineas, why do you never have great parties? I mean, every other day is so awesome and fun except for your birthday."

Phineas had to think long and hard for that one. He knew the reasons why, but he wasn't sure whether he was ready to share them with anybody. "Well...I-I guess it started back when I was 4." Everyone gathered around him to listen to his story. "It was the day of Candace's 10th birthday. Ferb and I had worked all night to prepare her birthday party for her. When she walked downstairs the next morning, we jumped out and yelled "surprise" to her and wished her a happy birthday. But when she looked around at the party and then at us, all she did was storm up to us and snarl. Then she started yelling stuff like our party was terrible and that a 1-year old could do a better job than us. And then she turned around and walked out the door, even as the guests were arriving. After I went out to see if she was OK, she said that I should "call her as soon as Ferb and I do something more exciting than the lame and worthless excuse for a party" we threw for her. For a long time, I didn't understand why Candace got so upset and why she resented Ferb and I's party."

"Wait, wasn't that the year that Mr. Fletcher and Ferb moved into your house with you guys?" Isabella inquired.

"The very same. And that's why that party was so special to me. It was the first one I planned with Ferb, and I was hoping it would be the first of many great adventures."

"So...all those inventions & adventures...those were all just attempts to get Candace to say something nice to you and Ferb?"

"Often, when children are denied love & appreciation from their parents or siblings, they'll do anything to earn it back." Ferb inquired.

"Wow, that is deep." Buford noted. "Who woulda known?"

"I had no idea that Phineas was in such emotinal pain." Baljeet said as Ferb finally managed to crack the lock and open the cage, releasing the boy & his father. Isabella immediately went up to Isabella & Ferb and hugged them both, distressed & unhappy. The memories of when he was a child still haunt him to this day.

"Guys, I'm sorry I've put you all through this." Phineas said after a short silence, trying to get out of his hug, but failing.

"What are you talking about, Phineas?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Isabella. I mean all those wacky summer projects we did together. They didn't really mean much."

"Are you serious?" Isabella took his shoulder and looked at him sternly. "Those were the best times of our lives. We love partaking in whatever you and Ferb have in store each day. You guys are what make summer enjoyable. I mean, without you two, what would we do over the summer?"

"Don't be like that, Isabella. You have your Fireside Girls to hang out with."

"Yeah, but we can't do everything in the world by ourselves. We need you guys. We need you to have wonderful imaginations and amazing adventures because, well let's face it, we'd be practically lost without you." The boy was beginning to regain some composure and his mood was lighting up. "Phineas, you're a beautiful person, on the inside and on the ourside; because you're smart, creative, cute, funny, caring, and you're always one to help out a friend no matter what the consequences are. We're all lucky to have you and Ferb around, and that's why I love you, Phineas."

"I love you too, Isabella." Still a bit depressed over the hurtful memories, he was rather surprised when Isabella kneeled down and kissed him. But his sad thoughts were replaced with joyful ones in a heartbeat as he returned the kiss and stood there hugging his dream girl. Everyone around him aww'd; they were all excited to see Phineas happy again. "Say, can I see the blueprints to this so-called "amusement park" you were trying to build?"

"Sure." She took out the blueprints from her back pocket and gave them to Phineas & Ferb to study.

They each went over the plans between themselves for a moment before turning back to the girl. "This looks awesome, Isabella! I can't believe you and the others tried to build this for me in just under a day!"

"It was hard..."

"There's just one thing missing from this."

"What? What is it?" Her question was immediately answered by the loud sounds of construction. She along with everybody else looked over in the direction of the Flynn-Fletcher home and discovered that the sounds were coming from the fact that their state-of-the-art amusement park was being torn down. The one thing that they had forgotten to do out of everything was get a building permit.

"Building permits." Phineas said knowing that they had all worked hard on it. "Don't be sad, guys. It's the thought that counts, and I think I couldn't have better friends than you guys." Their smiles perked up again as they joined in for a group hug.

"Say, kids. It's still Phineas's birthday. What do you say we all go to "Dave & Busters"?" Lawrence suggested, to which everybody shouted out in excited. They all hurried to the car and drove off, all in the name of a triangle-headed kid's birthday. Happy birthday, Phineas.

* * *

**During the Credits**

It was now nighttime, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy at his lair...having a therapy session with his mechanical assistant, Norm.

"I don't know, Norm. I just feel like I'm in a slump lately." The doctor solemnly told him. "I-I just don't seem to have any evil ideas that are actually...evil. Perry the Platypus hasn't giving me a whooping in days. I don't want him to think that I'm _not_ evil, but I-I'm not out to really hurt anybody. Does that make sense to you?"

Norm wrote some stuff down on his clipboard and thought about it for a moment before answering. "No. No it doesn't."

"Yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either. What do you think I should do?"

"I think you need a vacation."

"A vacation, eh? Well, it has been a while since I've actually "gone away", as you say. But what would Perry the Platypus think?"

"I'm sure he'll be fine. He needs a vacation just as much as you do."

"That's truth. I guess I didn't think of that. Then it's settled." Feeling renewed again, Doofenshmirtz stood up boldly and looked up at his assistant. "I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, am going on vacation!"

"Where?"

The doctor's face fell when he realized he had no idea where he wanted to go on vacation. "I haven't really worked that out, yet. But when I do, I'll tell you."

"Goodie. Can I come?"

"No."

**End of Episode 15!**

**Sorry for the long wait. School and being sick are getting me down.**

**Next Time: The gang takes the city by storm when everyone's out of commision, and by that, I mean asleep. (You can expect a song in this episode)**

**Expected Update: I'll try to get it up before the end of the month. But with all the stuff I've got going on, I can't promise anything.**


	21. 16a: Friday Night Lights

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 16a: Friday Night Lights**

**Episode Summary: After having trouble sleeping one night, Phineas decides to gather his friends and venture off into the night, with the Tri-State Area at their disposal. But Phineas soon learns what happens when little boys are deprived of their sleep, and their fun times are put in jeopardy when they run into the one thing they never thought they'd have to deal with: the law. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz turns to science to deal with his insomnia.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and all of the other friends were gathered inside the Flynn-Fletcher home on the couch, watching TV, having finished celebrating Phineas's birthday. Linda & Lawrence were in the kitchen tidying up.

"So, Phineas, I hope you enjoyed your birthday." Linda said coming into the living room. "Sorry I couldn't be hear to celebrate it with you."

"That's OK, mom. As long as you weren't doing anything dangerous, I'm fine with it." Phineas said proudly, cuddling up to Isabella.

"Well, kids. It's getting late. Don't you think it's time for you all to head home?"

"Aww, mom. Do they have to?"

"It's almost 9:00, hon."

"Really? Is it that late already? Oh well, I guess it's time for us to go to bed." So the kids all got up, said their goodbyes, and headed on their way. Isabella's goodbye to Phineas was a bit painful, but after a few minutes of hugging, kissing, and even a bit of crying, she finally left the house, and Phineas and Ferb went upstairs to change into their pajamas and then head off to dream land.

But getting to sleep for Phineas would prove to be a lot more difficult than he thought. For the first 45 minutes, he tossed and he turned in his bed, desperately trying to get to sleep. It was becoming such a disturbance that Perry, his pet platypus, was forced to move to Ferb's bed. Finally, before the hour was up, Phineas sighed in defeat, got out of bed, and walked to his stepbrother's bed. He shook Ferb awake gently.

"Hey Ferb, wake up." What he didn't know was that Ferb, too, was having trouble sleeping. Not as much as Phineas, of course, since he wasn't tossing and turning as much. "Can't sleep either, huh?" Ferb shook his head. "You know, there are times where I'd lay awake in my bed and think about what I want to do the next day, and then I'd think "But I can't wait until tomorrow! I wanna do it now!" So you know what, Ferb? I'm tired of waiting until the next day to do soemthing fun! Get dressed, Ferb. I know what we're gonna do tonight!"

Phineas and Ferb both got dressed, but were careful not to wake their mother or father, who were sound asleep in their beds. Then they took out their cell phones and started dialing up their friends, who, lucky, were also not asleep yet (though Phineas did do all the talking)

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! After Hours!**_

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was also having the same problem. He was tossing and turning, trying desperately to get to sleep. Frustrated, the scientist sat up in his bed and violently fluffed his pillow. "Oh, come on! I'm trying to sleep here! I've got too much to do tomorrow!" He shouted to nobody in particular. "I've got evil schemes to plan tomorrow! Ugh, this insomnia is insufferable! I have to put a stop to it." He stood up, got out of bed, and walked out of his room into what I guess you would call the "living room". Pulling out some supplies and tools, he began to work on something.

* * *

The friends all gathered in Phineas & Ferb's front yard, eager as to what the boys were planning.

"This better be good, Dinner bell." Buford siad, making fists out of his hands. "If I don't get my 8 hours of bully sleep, I get cranky."

"But I thought you couldn't sleep."

"That doesn't mean I didn't _want_ to, twerp."

"Yeah, Phineas, what's the big idea dragging us all out of bed like that?" Isabella asked, holding Phineas's hand.

"Well, don't you guys ever get sick and tired of having to go to bed every night when there's a whole Tri-State Area out that just waiting to be grabbed by the hand. I mean, there's so much to do, but so little time in the day."

"And you believe that staying up all night and going into the town will allow you to experience all the fun events Danville has in store?" Baljeet inquired, not liking where Phineas's idea was going.

"That's right."

"Well then, count me out." He said firmly as he started walking back to his house. "I would prefer 8 hours of sleep over a fun time in the city anyway."

Before Baljeet was completely out of sight, Buford yelled "Nerd!" to him before turning back to everyone else. Despite this shout-out, Buford did agree with what Baljeet said, and so did eveybody else.

"Phineas, as much as Baljeet's nerdiness annoys me, I have to agree with him." Isabella said. "I mean, everybody needs their sleep. Otherwise, you get cranky, irritable, and just plain un-fun. Remember the last time you stayed up all night?"

"Yeah, my crazy scheme to block the noise out ripped off my clothes and then you grabbed my butt and took lots of pictures of it for your own amusement."

Isabella was rather shocked that Phineas remembered all of that, and was still a bit upset that Isabella had done that; it felt like an invasion of his privacy. Secretly, though, after having time to think about it, he was starting to like it, but was too stubborn to admit it. "Wow, you have a really good memory."

"And I think I remember you saying something about me having a lot of "junk in my trunk"? Were you calling me fat?"

"Oh, don't pretend you didn't love it!"

"Well, I-I-" Phineas was started to blush while the others were snickering.

"I knew it. You liked it, didn't you?"

"T-That's not the point, OK? Please, just drop it!" He had to close his eyes and cup his forehead to regain his composure. "Sheesh, note to self: Never wear tights in front of Isabella. I'll never hear the end of it. Anyway, the point is that we need to take advantage of every minute we can get. And if staying up all night is the only way we can do that, then so be it."

"But Phineas, what could we possibly do at night that we can't already do during the day? I mean, most of the city's stores and businesses are closed at night."

"Don't worry, Isabella. If there's one thing Ferb and I know how to do, it's improvise! Come on. We got a whole lotta ground to cover and a whole lotta time to do it. Tonight, the city is ours."

So the kids all grabbed some skate gear and rode off into Danville, ready to take the city by storm. They were going to have fun in Danville tonight, and nothing was going to stop them. With so many fun activities, the city was practically in their hands. Eager to get the party started, Phineas brought with him his MP3 Player and played a song he believed would fit the mood.

_**Rolling past graffiti walls  
Billboards lighting up the block  
Every one of us on a mission (oh yeah)**_

Buford decided to use his night in the town to practice his bully tactics. Unfortunately, there was nobody out at this time of night. So Buford was forced to use trash cans and boards lying around for his bullying tactics.

Irving decided to head out into the big city and take pictures of anything that he hadn't had pictures of yet.

_**Got a whole crew by my side  
Cars (beep beep) when they pass us by  
Be ready to get down to business (mmm hmmm)**_

**_We go up, open the door  
All the girls scream "There they are!"  
It's packed from wall to wall and  
Everybody is calling_**

As for Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, they decided to head off to the Danville skate park and use its ramps, rails, and bench to practice their skating. The gates were locked, so the three kids had to sneak in another way. Luckily, a gate in the back of the park was left open, so they used that to get in. After that, the park was theirs to use to their hearts content. Since they were all just beginners, they had to start with the basics, and had to practices tricks such as flip tricks, lip tricks, pressure tricks, manuels, even grinds.

**_Here we come, it's time to shine  
And the whole wide world is mine  
We gonna get the party started_**

**_Because the night is young  
The light is out the door  
Today was crazy but tonite  
The city is ours  
We gonna live it up  
Until the morning comes  
Today was crazy but tonite  
The city is ours_**

After about a few hours, and many successful rounds and unsuccessful wipeouts, Phineas & Isabella decided to leave the park and just relax under a big tree for a little while before meeting up with the other friends. Ferb, wanting to give the two some time to themselves, decided to go find Irving & Buford himself.

"Isn't the moonlight beautiful, Phineas?" Isabella asked, turning onto her side and starting at her love.

"It sure is." The boy replied back, sighing deeply and cuddling up close to her. "You know, Isabella, even in my darkest hour, just being here with you makes me feel so happy inside, even when you say some of the craziest stuff about me that makes me super uncomfortable..."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Isabella blushed madly.

"What could I have possibly done to deserve such an awesome friend like you?"

"Don't know, don't care. All that matters is that we're together and nothing is ever going to split us up." She leaned up to him and kissed him as he couldn't help but giggle. "I love you, Phineas."

"Love you too, Isabella." He kissed her back as they cozied up by the tree, and stared back at the moon. "Say, what do you suppose the others are doing out this late night?"

"Not sure. Aren't you a bit worried that they might run into some trouble?"

"No. No I'm not." He responded with a yawn, starting to show signs of fatigue.

"Phineas...you OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine! Just because I yawn doesn't mean I'm tired. Now come on. Stop worrying, and follow me. I have something to show you." Phineas stood up, grabbed Isabella's hand, and led her towards the Danville Park. He had been planning something romantice for them for quite some time now, and was waiting for the perfect opportunity to unvail it to her.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz was busy with his own late night activity. He was building some sort of device that would help him get to sleep faster. Suspicious of the noise, Norm, his robotic assistant, came into the room and looked down at his master. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"Building something to help me sleep." The scientist answer promptly. "What are _you_ doing, Norm? I thought I turned you off before I went to bed."

"Ever since you removed my squirrel power source and replaced it with a miniature generator, I have been given the power to switch myself on and off. Didn't you read my manuel?" Norm asked him.

"Does it look like I read your manuel."

He sighed. "No. And why are you building something this late at night?"

"I told you, it's going to help me sleep."

"You don't need science to help you fall asleep. You can just count sheep."

"I tried that, Norm. Remember? And all it did was give me an obsession with Jolly Farm Revue." (**Family Guy reference**)

"Ah, yes. That's right. I remember now. Well, how about drinking a warm glass of milk?"

"I tried that too, and it gave me indigestion that entire night." Sighing in frustration, he stood up and walked over to his window. "Oh, Norm. What am I going to do? If I can't get to sleep, then I won't have the energy to come up with any new schemes for Perry the Platypus to foil. Plus, I'll be really cranky and I won't be friendly when I get together with the rest of the family for special occassions. That's why I must complete my newest creation." He walked back from the window and got back to work.

* * *

Ferb was walking down the street, looking for something else to do. He came across a dark alley, where Irving, Buford, and another one of his friends, Django Brown, were playing a game of four square with a flour sack that they dressed up to look like Baljeet.

"Hey Ferb!" Django yelled. "Wanna play 4-square with us? We need an extra player."

"Yeah, Baljeet's horrible at this game." Buford yelled, completely missing the point that Baljeet wasn't really there, and that it was just a flour sack.

"OK, count me in." Ferb answered, as he joined the crowd and engaged in the exciting game that was happening. (Not really, but it was better than doing nothing)

Of course, what the kids did not realize (and it was probably Phineas who was the most oblivious to this) was that due to a rise in criminal activity in the area, mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz instituted a mandatory 11:00 curfew for all minors under the age of 13. The current time was 12:30, and some police officers who were doing their nightly patrol of Danville were beginning to get suspicious when they came across that alley and saw the four boys playing their game. Of course, it was so dark that even with their headlights they were still only able to see their silhouettes. So Ferb quickly improvised and made four masks so they could conceal their identities.

The car slowly drove up to the alley. Pretty soon they were able to see them, but couldn't make out their identities due to the masks. "Hey you!" One officer called using the radio in the car. The boys stopped what they were doing and looked at the car that was near them. The cops exited the car and approached the boys. "Do you 4 have any idea what time it is?" One of them asked firmly without trying to sound nasty.

"N-No, officer. We don't." Django replied politely. "Why? Does it matter?"

"Boy, haven't you heard?" The other one said, taking out a document, which contained information on the new "Keep Our Children Safe" act recently passed by Roger Doofenshmirtz. "There's been an increased string of crime lately, so Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz has ordered a mandatory 11:00 curfew for all minors, and unless I'm sorely mistaken and need glasses, you all look like you're under 13."

"Our age is none of your business, officers." Buford coldly said.

"Watch your mouth, mister. We don't care exactly how old you are. All we care about is whether or not you're 13. It's our job to keep you children safe. And being out here this late at night is not helping that. Now, we're going to take you all home. Where do you all live?"

"Oh...heh heh. That's easy, officer." Irving said, finally piping up. "You see, we -- EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as the four boys took off in different directions.

Meanwhile, Phineas was busy with his own activity. He led his girlfriend to the park, where, in the middle, there was a table set up for two people with candles lit, and lobster served for both. Isabella dropped her jaw in amazement. "P-Phineas, what is all this?"

"Come on, Isabella. When was the last time I did something totally romantic for us?"

"I don't know..."

"Exactly. So I figured that if there was ever a good time to do something like this, it would be now under this beautiful moonlight." Phineas yawned again, this time a bit louder than before.

"But Phineas, I told you that you didn't have to go overboard with this romance stuff. I love you for who you are, and nothing is ever going to change that."

"Can't you just humor me this once and enjoy the dinner?"

"Oh fine. But do I really have to eat the lobster?"

"Not if you don't want to." He hugged her and started to tickle her as they moved to the table & tooktheir seats. Neither of them really cared for the lobster, but the beautiful view & the perfect lighting was more than enough for them to enjoy it, and even though Isabella didn't want too much romance, she truly did like what Phineas did for her, and the fact that he did it just to impress her made it all the better.

"Wow, Phineas, I have to admit. This really _is_ romantic." She commented after a while of just staring into the eyes of her best friend, which were now starting to look tired.

"I told you you would like it." Phineas replied a little smugly before yawning again.

"Are you sure you're OK? You're looking really tired now. Maybe we should go home."

"No, no. I'm alright. I think I just have something in my eye..." He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes before checking his watch. "Oh my gosh. It's already close to 2. I didn't realize it was so late."

"See, Phineas? I told you. Everybody needs their sleep."

"You're right. But I was hoping I'd be able to stay out the whole night and enjoy what life has to offer me."

"Hey, you made it a good 4 hours. I'd say that's pretty good. And I really do appreciate what you're trying to do. But please don't try so hard. Just be yourself." She got up and walked over to the boy, who put his head down in an attempt to get some shut eye. She tapped him on the shoulder, helped him out of his chair, and hugged him. "Love you, sweetie." She said sweetly as she kissed him on his forehead. Afterwards, she picked him up and held him like she was carrying him down the threshold. "Come on, let's go round up the others and go home, OK?" She didn't get a worded response, but seeing that Phineas was now asleep, and comfortable in her arms was more than enough for her.

Just as they were about to head off, Isabella heard some very loud screaming as Ferb and Irving were heading up their way. "Run!"

"Guys, could you keep your voices down?" Isabella whispered to them, shutting them up right away. "Phineas just fell asleep and I'm taking him home."

"No I didn't." Phineas said, opening his eyes and looked up at Isabella. "My eyes were burning so I decided to close them. What's going on?"

"Yeah, guys. What _is_ going on? And what's with the masks?"

"Sorry, but we have a problem." Irving said regaining his breath as he and Ferb took off their masks. "Nobody ever told us that there was a curfew in effect!"

"A...curfew?" Since Phineas never aimed for mischief, it's a bit of a surprise that he hadn't heard the news.

"Apparently, our beloved mayor, in a tireless effort to keep us safe, implanted a mandatory 11:00 curfew for all minors under the age of 13." Ferb explained to the two.

"Uh oh...that really is a problem. It's almost 2 in the morning."

"And the cops are after us! Buford and some Australian kid ran in another direction and Ferb and I ran in this direction."

"Hey, cool. Django's out, too! It's been a while since we've seen him."

"Focus, Phineas!" Isabella shouted to the boy, putting him down and letting him stand on his own two feet. "This is serious. If the cops catch them, then our parents will know that we snuck out after dark!"

"What are you so worried about? You've never done anything to make your mom too mad at you before."

"Exactly, so I have no idea what she'll do to me if she finds out I was out after dark!"

"Well then what are we waiting for! Let's get moving. We gotta round up Buford and Django and get them home before those cops get us."

So the kids all took off into the city again in an attempt to find Django and Buford. The two boys were still on the run from the cops, who were now hot on their trail. They took refugee in a garbage can that was located on the side of the road until the cops safely passed them. And thank goodness, too, because they had dropped their masks. Afterwards, they headed up the street back towards their homes. They were done with their nightly adventure. Not too far from Maple Drive, they ran into Phineas, Ferb, Irving, and Isabella.

"There you are, guys!" Phineas said, trying not to draw attention. "We were getting worried about you."

"We managed to ditch the cops." Django said. "They almost found us. But we're totally safe now."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had just completed his invention. He was ready to relieve himself of his insomnia. "Yes. At last, my creation is complete!" He turned on his newest creation. It was a small cylinder with a hole in the top that had an antenna sticking out of it. "Now when I press this button, the antenna will emit a soundwave with a frequency configured to only be heard by me. This soundwave will telepathically release the hormones in my brain that make me sleepy. My plan is foolproof."

He pressed a button, and carried it to his room, where he promptly crawled into bed and waited for his machine to worked. The soundwave started emitting, but because the frequency was so high, he couldn't hear it. But he felt it working. "It's working...it's working. I can feel it. I'm already..." Doofenshmirtz yawned. "...getting tired." He closed his eyes and was almost asleep. But it came just a little bit early because his machine began to fritz. Electricity cackled out of it, and it began to shake violently. The scientist sat up and observed this, with weary eyes. "Oh no. My machine...it's malfuncitoning."

Just when it was about to exploded, it automatically reset itself...an entirely new frequency was set, and it emitted the soundwave again, this time, affecting somebody else entirely. 'No, my beautiful...creation..." But it did manage to do its job on Doofenshmirtz, as the scientist was finally asleep.

* * *

The kids all returned to the Flynn-Fletcher front yard, having successfully evaded the cops. They were all tired and ready for bed. "Well, with everything that's happened tonight, I still consider this night seized." Phineas said triumphately, yawning loudly.

"I have to admit, even though I was skeptical at first, I did have fun." Isabella said, cuddling up next to Phineas, who laughed.

"But seriously, it is time for us to go to sleep." Little did Phineas know was that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's invention was now set to affect him, so he was slowly succumming to the thought of sleep. "I can't wait to change into our nice, warm pajamas...and crawl into our nice, warm, beds, with warm blankets and pillows to rest...my weary head on..." And with that, the boy collapsed face first onto the lawn, out like a light. The friends all stared on at the sleeping boy.

"OK, I'm outta here." Buford broke the silence as he, along with Django and Irving, started making their way back home. "G'night, guys."

The friends all exchanged goodbyes as they parted, leaving only Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella left. Now the only thing that was breaking the silence in the air was the sound of Phineas's soft snoring. "So, what are we gonna do with _him_?" Isabella asked, referring to him. Ferb shrugged, so she did the only thing she could thing of. She got herself comfortable, took out a pillow she brought with him, put it under Phineas's head, and layed down on it right next to him, falling asleep, holding him tightly. Ferb, seeing no other option, made room next to Isabella and also fell asleep.

**End of Episode 16a!**

**Wow, did not expect to be done this quickly. Hope you enjoyed that little taste of Big Time Rush I gave you. I made up some of the lyrics if you could tell in the fourth stanza. Sorry Perry wasn't in this one. Oh well...**

**Next Time: Candace, still determined to get back at her mom & win Phineas's trust back, decides to reenact one of Phineas & Ferb's greatest projects. **

**Expected Update: Hopefully before the end of May.**


	22. 16b: Shot in the Dark

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 16b: Shot in the Dark**

**Episode Summary: As much as Candace wants to torture her mother for not believing her about Phineas & Ferb, she also wants to make amends with Phineas & earn his trust back. So she sets out to show him that she can be just as fun and exciting as he is, and does it the only way she thinks she knows how: by recreating one of their greatest projects; and along the way, she also tries to get to the root of her "busting obsession" and how it all went wrong. Meanwhile, a late night mission for Perry comes with a lot of extra "dough" if you catch my drift. Takes place the same night as the previous episode.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!

* * *

**

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

At Commandant Spangler's Military School, all of the cadets were sound asleep. Having been worked hard by the commander earlier that day, they were all looking forward to catching some Z's. Well, everyone except for one person.

Out in the halls of the building, the clanging of tools could be heard for some time. Some of the inmates were annoyed, but most were too tired to even bother. It turned out that it was Candace making all the noise. But at least she had purpose this time.

Her roommate, Tara, who was in the bathroom, noticed that Candace was going back and forth between rooms to get supplies. She didn't understand what she was doing, so she decided to follow Candace as she went outside into the courtyard, where she saw what she believed was the start of a rollercoaster ride, and indeed, it was. "Candace, what is going on out here!" Tara asked the girl, who stopped in her tracks and looked at her roommate.

"Oh, hey Tara. I didn't see you over there." She said casually. "What do you think? Do ya like it?"

"Uh, I don't know whether I can answer that until I know what you're building, or at least trying to build."

"Well, if you _must_ know..." Candace smirked, Tara rolled her eyes. "Remember when I snuck home a few days ago trying to expose my mom for allegedly cheating on my dad?"

"Yeah. We _all_ remember."

"Anyway, it turns out that my mom knew about it the whole time. But what's worse was that because of what I said, Phineas now thinks that I hate him and Ferb for being creative like they are."

"Do you?"

"No! Not at all. In fact, I want to be able to show them that I can be as loose and fun-loving as they can."

"And you think that building a rollercoaster will do that?"

"Yes. I mean, a rollercoaster is the first project that Phineas & Ferb did last summer, and that was the summer where things really started going bad for me. As much as I wanna get back at my mom, it's not worth losing the relationship I had with my own brothers."

"At least you're coming to your senses a bit."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have lots of things I need to do. So if you're not going to help me, I suggest you stop interrupting me and let me get back to work in peace. Thank you." She snorted obnoxiously and returned to building her rollercoaster, while Tara went back inside.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, everybody was sleeping soundly, especially Perry. (This was right before Phineas woke up) But his sweet dreams were interrupted rudely when his watch went off, signaling him to report to his lair. Perry opened his eyes, rolled 'em, and then made his way swiftly to his lair using an entrance through the bookshelf.

He slid through the floor right into his chair. He turned on his screen where he was greeted by his boss. "Good evening, Agent P. Sorry to have to disturb you at this late hour. But we have an urgent mission for you." A claw came out from the floor and took Perry's fedora off, and before the platypus had a chance to respond, it was replaced with a chef's hat. "You see, tomorrow I have a bunch of friends coming over to watch the big game with me, and well, they love to eat. I mean, _**LOVE**_ to eat. They'll eat as much as you give them. That's why I need you to make about 32 extra large pizzas for them."

Perry's eyes widened in shock. Even though he was owned by two of the best chefs in Danville, Phineas & Ferb, Perry himself wasn't a great cook. He openly refused. "Perhaps I didn't make myself clear, Agent P." Usually, Major Monogram was understand about it. But he really wanted things to be ready for his friends. So he wasn't giving Perry a choice. "I don't have any other agents that are good enough for the job. As hard as it is to believe, you're my best cook. So get going." Perry sighed and walked towards his lair's kitchen.

* * *

Candace had now been at work on her rollercoaster for several hours. It was actually beginning to looks like a real rollercoaster, even though it hadn't actually left the courtyard yet. Tara, who decided to come out and check on her, was amazed at how much progress Candace had made in such a short time. "Whoa, Candace. Did you actually do all of this?" Tara asked, stunned.

"Yes. Yes I did. All by myself. Do you like it?" Candace asked, a bit smugly.

"Well, so far I do."

"Just you wait, Tara. By the time I'm done with it, it'll be even better than Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster, and then I'll show Phineas just how fun I can be! Then Mom will have no choice but to take me back, and that's when I'll break her." She continued to hammer in some boards and stuff angrily. Seeing that Candace was going to go into a hysterical fit, Tara decided to leave again.

Candace spent the next half hour not only building her rollercoaster, but also reflecting on what could have happened to have her end up in a place like this. "I don't get it. I just don't get it. All I wanted was fairness. All I wanted was for Phineas and Ferb to act like normal kids for a change. But apparently, that was too much to ask, because every time I tried to stop them, everybody would say that I''m being too mean to them. I can't even imagine a time where I was unnecessarily harsh with them! Well...except maybe that time we went to Lake Nose..."

And thus, began her journey down memory lane. "I mean, Nosey was just a myth. Phineas & Ferb were smarter than that to believe in such a fairytale...even if it was true. But I did kinda rub my nose in their faces for a while. And then there was that time at Grandma & Grandpa's, where Phineas told that really scary story, and I snapped at him. And who could forget Uncle Bob & Aunt Tiana's wedding? Oh god, I could never forget that day. I had been planning her wedding since I was 10 years old, and then when she suggested that Phineas and Ferb help out...I just lost it. I took all my anger out on them and I didn't let them do any of their normal wacky, adventurous, fun things that they normally do that make others feel happy. I just wanted it to be normal & perfect at the same time. I yelled at them, I screamed at them, I got all up in their face...and yet never once did they complain. They just burst into a happy song."

She continued to dwell on it. There had been many times she wanted to explode and just get in their face, the most notable (in my opinion) being the wedding of Bob & Tiana. (Feel free to disagree with me) But never in any of those instances did Phineas or Ferb react in a way that would cause any alarm in anybody. They never got in Candace's face like she did. So to have that happen to her just one week earlier was the worst thing that could've happened to her. "M-Maybe I really do have a problem. I mean, there used to be a time where I would put myself in harm's way to protect Phineas. What happened to me?"

_(Cue Flashback)_

_It was about 8 years ago. Phineas was about 3 and Candace was 8. It was a night where Linda had gone out. (on a date with Lawrence; this was before they got married) Both children were sound asleep in their beds, or in Phineas's case, his crib. Unfortunately, Candace had forgotten to turn the oven off when she was done cooking dinner for the two of them. So it began to overheat. Pretty soon some towels that were near the oven caught on fire, and if that wasn't bad enough, soon the whole kitchen caught fire._

_Neither of the kids even knew it until Candace became the first one to smell smoke. She immediately rose up in her bed and went to find the source of the smoke. The first thing she did upon discovering that the kitchen was on fire, and spreading to the living room, was call 911 and get out. She was so scared and traumatized by this that she didn't even think to get her baby brother._

_Firemen arrived just moments later and began work to put out the flame, which had now spread to the entire lower level of the building. The upper level, where Phineas was sleeping, though, was still safe. But it took Candace a couple of seconds for her to realize that her little brother was not standing by her side. "Oh no!" She shouted as she rushed up to an officer. "Excuse me, mister!" She started getting frantic. "My little brother's still sleeping!"_

_"Don't worry, honey. We'll make sure we get him out." The man said, not even looking down at her. "Right after we put this fire out." He was too focused on his hose, which, strangely, wasn't even getting the water to the house. Angry and fed up, Candace set out back towards the house, undetected, and got through the front door, just as it was about to be consumed by the fire. "I'm coming, Phineas!" From the day that Phineas was born, Candace swore that she would do anything to protect him. And that was exactly what she was going to do, even if she had to take a shot in the dark._

_**I promised I would be there  
I swear I'm on my way  
I know you may not hear me  
But that's the price I'll pay**_

_By this time, Phineas had finally smelled the smoke and awakened. But it was too late. Now the fire had began seeping into his room. He was screaming like a girl because he felt trapped. Nobody was there. "Hey! Somebody help me! I'm trapped! Candace? Mommy? Anybody!"_

_Soon his prayers were answered when Candace came bursting through the door and rushing towards him. He squealed joyfully at the sight of his sister. "Don't worry, Phineas. I'm getting you outta here!" She picked him up and held him tightly. The boy started to cry, but it was more of a happy crying. "Just hang tight."_

_**I don't know how I would  
**__**Ever go all alone  
walking on my own**_

_**Like angels you were floating to me  
And that's how it should be.**_

_"Candace, what's happening?" Phineas asked._

_"I don't know. But I promise things are going to be OK. I promised that I would do anything to keep you safe, and that's exactly what I'm doing."_

**_'Cause I don't wanna waste another moment  
I don't wanna pay for things unspoken  
I just wanna run with arms wide open  
Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_**

**_I don't wanna watch the world keep changing  
When I'm not with you, my heart keeps racing  
Cover up my eyes and just start pacing  
Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are_**

_Candace managed to get her little brother out of the house before the fire got to them. He couldn't help but hug her sister the whole time, even after they were out of the house. She even went back into the house to get his teddy bear; without it, he was unable to sleep at night. _

_The firemen worked around the clock to control it. By the time Linda arrived back home at about midnight, she had already learned what had happened, and was so relieved to learn that her two children had made it out alive. She commended Candace for her brave act, as did Phineas. But Candace was just happy that her little brother was safe._

_**I promise you I'm gonna be there  
I wanna be there  
No matter what happens  
No matter how tragic**_

**_'Cause the clock is ticking  
The world is spinning  
Our lives are passing us by_**

_(End Flashback)_

A tear came to Candace's eye as the memory began to fade. It was one of the proudest moments of her life, and she was extremely happy that she was able to share it with her brother. "Wow...I can't believe I almost forgot about that. No wonder Phineas looked up to me so much. I always thought he was just an oblivious little adolescent. Man, what happened? We used to be so close. Now he won't even talk to me. I gotta fix this. Hopefully this rollercoaster I'm building will help with that." And with that, she got back to work.

**_I don't wanna watch the world keep changing  
When I'm not with you, my heart keeps racing  
Cover up my eyes and just start pacing  
Take a shot in the dark, to be where you are  
_****_Take a shot in the dark..._**

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Perry's lair, he was about to start making Major Monograms the pizzas for his party. Unfortunately, he had never worked with an oven before...or even a microwave for that matter. Heck, he had never used any kitchen utensils or equipment in his life before because he was always fed by others. So he had no reason to. But now he does, and he had just a few hours to learn how to use them and cook some pizzas.

Perry first started by trying to figure out how to work the oven. He walked up to it and pressed a button on it. He was expecting the inside of it to light up or something, so he was surprised when it didn't. But he noticed that the plug wasn't it, so he plugged it into a wall and then pressed the button again. Unfortunately...

_**BOOM!**_

Perry plugged it into a "High Voltage" outlet, so upon turning it on, it exploded...sort of. Perry got covered in lots of dust. Shaking it all off, the platypus tried turning one of the dials. Little did he know that he was activating the heater for the front left stove, turning the fire up to a high level. As soon as he saw what the dial did, he turned it off right away.

He pulled out a cookbook that he had stored in the pantry (why it was stored there we'll never know) and opened it up to "Peporonni pizza." He started to gather the ingredients that were needed for the meal before turning back to the cook book. But unfortunately, he could not make out the tiny text imprinted on the pages. He was so used to such large words on his screen when Major Monogram would read him his message that his eyes were actually trained to handle such big words.

He sighed and just started mixing ingredients together like there was no tomorrow. After he was done mixing, he threw his...confection (which looked like a pizza pie with a bunch of dirt and sawdust mixed into it) into the oven and tried to turn it on again. He set the machine to 350 degress and was supposed to leave it there to cook for 20 minutes. Unfortunately, Perry began getting impatient, so he got an idea on how to cook the pizza faster: if it took 20 minutes to cook at 350 degrees, then it should only take 2 minutes at 3500 degrees. (Oh dear)

He turned the temperature up on the oven, thinking that it would cook faster. Gee, for a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury, you'd think that he would at least know how to cook a decent meal. Unfortunately, that was not the case, because within seconds the oven turned red and became too hot to touch. Noticing the steam beginning to burst out, Perry decided to dive for cover.

* * *

By 2:30 in the morning, Candace's masterpiece was almost complete. The courtyard was luckily big enough to hold all of the tracks. There was twists and turns, loop-de-loops, high dives, twirls, etc. Every element that was ever introduced in any rollercoaster ride was on Candace's, and now all that was left to build was the cars. Tara, who had woken up again to go to the restroom, was amazed and shocked at the creation. She stepped outside just as Candace was starting to get somewhere with the seats to her ride. "Oh...my...god." Tara was practically speechless. Who wouldn't be?

"What did I tell you, Tara?" Candace said, beaming, proud of the work she had done. "Isn't this cool or what?"

"I-It's amazing. And you did this all in one night? I didn't think that was even possible."

"Hey, my brothers did it on a daily basis, so what was to stop me from doing it?"

"Is it ready for testing yet? Beause I'd really like to take a ride on it. I just love rollercoasters."

"Not yet. I still gotta build the cars that go on the tracks. But that shouldn't take too long, now should it?"

"Would you like some help? I mean, you _do_ want this to be done by the time morning rolls along, right?"

"Yeah, that would be beneficial. Sure, I could use some help." Candace helped Tara up onto the tracks so she could offer her asisstance with building the car. The only problem was that Candace believed that building the car was the last step to completeing the rollercoaster. Unfortunately, there was also a giant master control system that she had to build to operate the ride. But...let's watch her figure that out for herself.

They continued working together on the ride for what seemed like forever, when really it was only about...2 1/2 hours, til about 5 in the morning. The car was rather easy to build. It was getting the seats installed into it that was the hard part. But they managed to do so with little injury or frustration. After they were all done with everything; after the car was built & the tracks were finished, Candace was convinced that they were finished. And it wasn't because she was getting impatient. No, she truly believed there was nothing more needed.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was just awakening after being put to sleep by his latest contraption (see previous episode for details). He stood up out of bed and walked into his kitchen to get some water. "Ahh, my head. I feel like I just hit my head on concrete. Maybe I set that machine too high or...something..." Upon entering the kitchen, he saw that it was somewhat in shambles. There was cooking dough, baking soda, cheese, bread, even plastic boxes everywhere. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was speechless.

He exercised caution upon entering it, just in case it had been booby trapped. He found a note taped onto his counter. He picked it up and read it aloud. "'Doof, had an emergency for Monogram. Needed a bunch of pizzas. Sorry about the mess. Signed, Perry the Platypus.' Oh for pete's sake!" He walked over to one of his opened cabinets, which was unfortunately his experimental cabinet. "If you needed to borrow some food, could you have at least stayed out of my failed experimental cabinet. It's filled with ingredients that I..." He chuckled. "fiddled with using science. And...it didn't go so well. Of course, I have no idea what the consequences are for using them because they're so unstable. Like this one..."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz took out a container of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup that he had apparently experimented on. "I-I was working on an experiment with a spider and then the two got mixed together and...actually, it's all a blur after that." He squeezed the container and it spit out some chocolate syrup. However, this was no ordinary syrup. In fact, it had taken on the quality of a spider, so now when it shot out chocolate, it was actually a chocolate covered web, which quickly wrapped itself around the evil scientist.

In almost no time at all he was subdued in a chocolate web. "Oh, now I remember. There was a problem with my Spider mutation experiment and I just had my tonsils removed that morning. Oh great, now I'm trapped. I-I can't move my arms." He tried desperately to escape, jumping around, wriggling around, he even tried to move around the room looking for a knife to cut him out of it. Sadly, though, there was no knife anywhere. So he went back into his living room to think of something else to do. But his coordination with his footwork was so bad that he ended up hopping up and down until he got to his balcony, where he subsequently knocked right into his old "Shrinkinator", activating it.

"Hey, my old Shrinkinator." There were a bunch of sticky notes on it that were supposed to remind Dr. Doofenshmirtz to unplug it, and most of them were from last summer. "Man, why do I keep forgetting to unplug this thing?"

The Shrinkinator fired a laser out, which, ironically, was aimed right at Candace's rollercoaster...

* * *

...which was just about ready for testing at this point. Tara was the first one to try it out. "You ready?" Candace asked her.

"Uh, yeah. Totally. It seems completely safe." Tara said, looking onward at Candace's creation. There weren't any flaming heads or missing tracks or anything, but just the fact that it was so big and had so many different kinds of obstacles was enough to scare her out of her shoes.

"Oh come on. Don't be such a baby! It's completely safe."

"Then how come there are no seatbelts? Hmm?"

"Seatbelts are for wimps. Now, just press that big red button to start up the engine." Candace showed Tara the button that she needed to press in order to start the ride. Sadly, though, Doofenshmirtz's Shrinkinator blast hit the rollercoaster tracks just as Tara started it up. It was preset to go at a distance of 150 miles an hour, much faster than Phineas and Ferb's coaster. So just as the tracks began to shrink, the car took off, literally right off the tracks and into town. Tara was screaming her head off as Candace gazed on in shock. "Oh come on! Can't I ever get a break here?"

The car soared through the air, with Tara in it. She went right into Danville, passing all of the main sights before eventually hitting Maple Drive, and then passing it. She was about to hit the ground when something in her path broke her speed. That thing, of course, was Cleveland Brown's house. And what's worse was he was taking a bath. (No surprise there)

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. The car rolled through the top floor before crashing back onto the ground. Tara crawled out, having thrown her back out slightly. Cleveland took one good look at the coaster car. "Jeez, they really should close down that old abandoned amusement park.

Down the street, the noise had awakened Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, who had earlier fallen asleep on the front lawn of the Flynn-Fletcher home. They realized that they were still outside and that they needed to get back home before their parents saw. So Phineas & Ferb rushed inside while Isabella ran back to her house.

* * *

**During the Credits**

Later that day, Perry had to deliver the pizzas that he had "made" to Major Monogram's home so he could have them ready for him and his friends as they watched the big game. Delivering the pizzas was not a problem. Of course, he had to stay for the "evaluation" of them, which was basically just watching them eat them as they watched the Mets stink on ice. (no offense of course to any Met fans out there)

"Agent P, you've really outdone yourself." Monogram said chewing into his 4th piece of Perry's pizza. "This is one of the best pies I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying with my friends!"

"Same here!" One of his friends shouted out.

"There's definitely a reward in store for you when you show up for work tomorrow." He said proudly to his employee as his stomach began to gurgle loudly. "Oh...Oh dear. M-My stomach seems to be stirring up a bit. I don't understand how..." The overwhelming urge to use the bathroom overcame him, and it quickly overcame him friends as well. "Oh good gravy! BATHROOM!" He and the others stood up and zoomed right off to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there were only two bathrooms in the whole house, so two of the friends had to wait outside while the others...cleaned out their systems. Apparently, the ingredients Perry used from Doofenshmirtz's kitchen were so unstable that they had the power to give anyone who injested them diarrhea.

"Oh, my stomach feels like it's on fire!" Monogram yelled inside the bathroom. "What the heck was in that pizza! Ugh..." Perry, realizing that something wasn't right, and that he might get in trouble with his boss, decided to quietly leave the home.

**End of Episode 16b!**

**Next Time: Phineas & Ferb get wrapped up in the legal system, and when the two become split on a case, they end up having their first fight, and as a result, go against each other in court. What's worse is that the case they get assigned to involves their own mother.**

**Expected Update: June 4th.**


	23. 17: Law & Order: PF

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 17: Law & Order: PF**

**Episode Summary: Linda is accused of destroying a statue erected in Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz's honor. After learning this, Phineas & Ferb decide to become detectives and investigate the crime. But, when Ferb becomes more and more convinced that she is guilty, he and Phineas split and Ferb decides to join the "dark side" as Phineas puts it. And what's worse is that Dr. Doofenshmirtz (unknowingly to them) is somehow involved in the case.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

**

* * *

**

___**"In a world where the task of receiving a quality education and acquiring a well-paid and well-enjoyed employement is next to impossible, the children of today are challenged to unleash a quality that opens up a realm of options leading to different kinds of opportunities, a quality known as "Imagination". In the world of adolescence, the term 'imagination' is defined on a daily basis by two young stepbrothers bent on making each day better than the last: one who leads the day by voice, and the other who leads by action. These are their stories."**_

Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were sitting under the big shady tree in the former's backyard, just enjoying themselves and the beautiful day that was handed to them. They were also trying to figure out what they wanted to do for that day.

"OK, Ferb, what should we do today?" Phineas asked Ferb. "We've got so many great ideas to choose from."

"Well, maybe we just sit hang here today." Isabella suggested. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with that."

"True, but I'm really in a good mood today and I feel like doing something awesome. Too bad we can't decide what we want to do. Hey, I have an idea!" Phineas stood up and ran into the house and got the portable radio they had. "Let's listen to some tunes. Maybe that'll give us some inspiration." He turned the radio on, but instead of getting some peppy music from The Fray, they got a news flash from Channel 5.

"Good morning, I'm Diane Simmons with some breaking news. Sources confirm that the statue in Central Park that was depicted in the honor of Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz has been vandalized." The three friends gasped. "Police received a 911 call at about 8:30 this morning about a possible vandalist being spotted in the park. Police arrived moments later to discover that the statue had been attack, the crash site being described as 'someone losing control of their car and plowing right into it'."

"Oh my goodness, that's horrible." Isabella yelled.

"In a statement released just moments ago, police said that they believe they know the identity of the culprit, but will not release it publicly until he or she is in custody."

"Who would be so heartless as to destroy city property like that?" Phineas asked his friends as Diane Simmons continued with now just released news.

"I am now getting late word that police are in a high speed chase with whom they believe is the culprit of today's city statue vandalism."

Phineas shook his head. "Wow, I sure hope I don't meet the jerk who did that."

Unfortunately, he was about to meet the person responsible, or at least the person the police suspected was responsible. The three kids soon heard police sirens up the street. So they ran up to the front yard to get a closer look. What they saw was shocking to them. They saw the Flynn-Fletcher family car racing down the street towards the home. A closer look at the car revealed that Linda Flynn was driving it. Going at eradic speeds trying desperately to avoid the cops was unsuccessful for her, as cop cars were able to blockade her chances of parking her car in her driveway and making a run for it.

She was cornered by dozens of cops, and eventually, seeing no other way, she gave up. She exited the car and put her hands up as a bunch of cops grabbed and handcuffed her before escorting her to one of their police cars. "But I didn't do anything! I swear!" Linda tried to reason with them.

"Linda Flynn, you are under arrest for the destruction of city property and pedestrian endangerment."

"But I didn't do it!"

"Then why did you run from us?"

"Because you shot at me! Wouldn't you run if someone was shooting at you?"

The officer didn't even think about that. He just shoved her into the back of his car and drove off. The three children couldn't help but look on in total shock. Phineas was probably in the most disbelief. "Mom!" He called out to the car. But the police officers did not hear him or simply chose to ignore him, and headed off to the police station. "Mom..."

_

* * *

_

_[Law & Order Theme Song plays]_

_

* * *

_**  
_Danville Police Station, 8:39 A.M._**

Linda was down at the police station being interrogated by the cops for a crime she did not commit. She was getting both scared out of her mind and paranoid as she was being interrogated.

"But I'm telling you people that I didn't do anything wrong." Linda tried desperately to explain herself to the cops, who were convinced that she was responsible for the destruction of the statue. But, they did have good reason.

"Mrs. Flynn, we have several eye witnesses that put you at the scene of the crime at 8:17 this morning, the exact time the accident took place in the park. We also have survaillance videos of the alleged crime taking place." A guy brought in a TV w/ video/DVD player, along with a videotape, and inserted the tape into the player. Instantly, the TV turned on and showed a video of the statue in the park. It was right about the time that the accident took place. Suddenly out of nowhere, a car came out of nowhere and slammed right into the statue, nearly breaking it into a thousand pieces.

The two things that made the police believe that Linda was the one responsible for the destruction of the statue were A) the fact that the car that crashed into it is the same type of car that Linda drives and B) After the car came to a stop, the tape showed the driver's door opening and someone getting out of the car to see the damage, someone who looked an awful like Linda. Heck, a close up revealed that it really was Linda (well, sort of, but we'll get to that part later)

"You have to believe me. That wasn't me!" Linda shouted.

"Who else could it have been?" One of the cops asked, rather sarcastically. "According to the tape, that's _you_ in the car driving into the statue, and unless I'm mistaken, that is _your_ car!"

Linda took a good look at the video monitor again. Even though they were right and that was technically _her_ at the scene and it was technically _her_ car, she still stood her ground, and tried desperately to convince them that she was innocent.

After about 15 minutes of intense interrogation, the police finally let Linda leave the room and return to her family, who were all anxiously waiting outside in the hall. "Oh Linda, thank goodness. We were so worried about you."

"We're not sending her to prison because we don't see her as a flight risk." One of the police officers said. "However, her trial has been set for 2:00 this afternoon."

"2:00?" Phineas shouted out. "But that's less than 6 hours from now!"

"Sorry, kid. That's just how it works." The officers left to go in another direction, leaving the stunned family in silence. That is, until Linda decided to break it.

"This is ridiculous!" She shouted in anger. "Flight risk? Jeez, why won't those idiots listen to me! I'm innocent."

"Honey, honey, we believe you. But now we just have to convince a jury of your fellow peers that you're innocent." Lawrence said calmly.

"I don't get it. Who would want to frame Mom?" Phineas pondered, turning to his quiet stepbrother. "Everybody loves Mom. Even Candace...I think. We have to get to the bottom of this, and quick. Hey," Phineas was starting to formulate a plan. "I know. Why don't we become detectives again? Yeah, we can go out and investigate the crime in question and see if the cops really have the right person. If someone's trying to mess with mom, we'll figure it out. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."

The two boys quickly rushed home and got their "detective makeup" on (**Finding Mary McGuffin**) and went out into town to begin questioning people.

* * *

_**Danville Park, 9:04 A.M.**_

The two boys first went to the scene of the crime, where there were still some witnesses there, who could not believe what they had seen. There were still even cops up there investigating the crime. They went up to one of the cops. "Excuse me, sir. Mind if we ask a couple of questions?" Phineas asked the cop calmly.

"And who are yous supposed to be?" The cop answered in a rather stuck-up smuggish tone, looking angrily to the both of them. To rebutte him, Ferb held up what appeared to be a police badge.

"We're two of Danville's finest, thank you very much. We just started today." As soon as the cop saw the badge, making sure that it was truly legit, he slapped himself in the face and got his act together. Phineas and Ferb were totally unimpressed.

"OH jeez, I'm sorry. Wait, when did you guys start working with us?"

"Uh...this morning?" Phineas was still trying to figure out how Ferb came up with a story like that so quickly and without his consent.

"And aren't you a little young to be police officers?"

"Yes. Yes we are."

"Well, alright then."

"So can you tell us what happened?"

"Yeah. About 8:15 this morning, we got a call to the station with concerns of vandalism in the park. Turns out that it was a false alarm. But about 4 minutes later, we received another call saying that somebody had driven their car into the statue of Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz. We didn't really believe it at first. But when we arrived at the scene moments later, we realized that it was no joke. Someone crashed their car into the statue. It looked like some red sedan (I don't know what car the Flynn family owns, so I'm just making it up.) the driver then got out of her car and ran out of the park. A couple of us cops went out and chased her."

The officer went on to explain that they had chased Linda down to the building where she normally takes her cooking classes with Charlene Doofenshmirtz. Ironically, at that precise moment, Linda was actually coming out having completed her class for the day. He then said that one of the cops fired a shot at her, scaring her, and causing her to run back to her car, which was sitting in the parking lot. "And then she got into her car and the police continued chasing her in their cars."

"OK, and what happened after that?"

"She drove right down to Maple Drive and parked her car in her driveway. We surrounded her, and took her down to the station."

"Alright. Thank you for your time." The two boys took their leave to go straight to the source. And by that, I mean they headed over to Linda's cooking class next. But before he could think of anything else, Phineas had to know something. "Hey Ferb, when did you make those fake badges?"

"They're not fake."

"They're not? So...that means we're really cops?"

"Yep."

* * *

_**Linda's Cooking Class, 9:18 A.M.**_

"No, I didn't see any middle-aged woman come runnin' past here." Next, Phineas and Ferb decided to head over to Linda's cooking class to ask some of her classmates what they saw. "I only saw her come out of the building."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she came out with another middle aged woman (Charlene) and they were talking about some stuff. I didn't catch what exactly. Anyway, the one in the green sweater went across the street to get her car, while the other one started heading to the parking lot to get her car. Then some crazy cops came up the block and one of them fired a shot at her. She panicked and ran right to her car with them cops on her tail."

"And you're sure you didn't see her coming down the sidewalk here?"

"No, man. I swear on my life-"

"OK, OK, just asking. Jeez, don't have a cow. Anyway, do you know the name of that other woman she was with?"

"Yeah. Charlene something - I don't know her last name."

"And can you give me a description?"

"I didn't get a close enough look at her. But I know where she lives."

"Wait, how can you know where she lives but you have no idea what she looks like?"

"It-It's complicated."

* * *

_**Charlene Doofenshmirtz's Home, 9:35 A.M**_

Phineas and Ferb went up to Charlene Doofenshmirtz's house on a hill somewhere, hoping that they would be able to get some straight facts from her. They knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. Upon answering the door, Charlene was surprised to see Phineas & Ferb standing there in their detective wear again.

"Oh, you two again?" She said, a bit sarcastically. But that was how she talked, it wasn't because she wasn't happy to see them. She wasn't, but, still. "What can I do for you?"

"We're investigating a crime involving one of your friends, a Linda Flynn." Phineas explained.

"Oh dear, what happened to her?"

"She's been arrested on charges of city property destruction. But we're trying to crack the case to find out the truth, and you're gonna help us."

"OK. How?"

"Can you confirm that you were present in her cooking class with her on this day from the hours of 7:00 to 8:00."

"Well, actually it ran to 8:15. Out instructor extended the class 15 minutes today because the souflee we were cooking accidentally burned so he wanted to start from scratch. He's very stubborn when it comes to finishing things."

"So you _can_confirm your prescence there?"

"Yes. Yes I can. But I wasn't really paying that much attention. I was on the phone for most of the time with my daughter, Vanessa."

"Well, that's not very productive in the classroom."

"Try telling her that. She keeps trying to convince me that her father is "evil", but I refuse to believe that anyone is truly evil at heart."

"That kinda reminds me of how Candace acts towards my mom." The thought of his sister made Phineas cringe.

"Anyway, after class ended, Linda and I both left together. I had parked my car in a different parking lot from her because the one she was in was far too crowded. I didn't see much after that. I just can't believe it. Who would've ever thought Linda could be sucked up in crime like this?"

"We're not actually sure that she was the one responsible persay...but it's an on going investigation and we'll let you know if we need any further assistance."

* * *

_**Commandant Edwin Spangler's Reform Military Academy for the Young, Rebellious, and even the Queer, 9:38 A.M**_

All of the students were in the middle of their daily military drill-based workouts, which were led by Commandant Spangler. For this drill, they were forced to run through tires, crawl through mud under barbed wires, and circuit training consisting of push-ups, stomach crunches, jumping jacks, and running in place.

Most of the cadets were handling it very well, including Tara. Candace, however, was struggling. But at least she was trying this time. They had all been at it for about an hour now, and Spangler still had an hour to kill for the training session.

"I don't understand the point of all this!" Candace complained to her roommate as the two of them were crawling through mud.

"Candace, this_ is_ a military school." She went on to explain. "Obviously, he's gonna have to put us through special military-based training sometime."

"Yeah, but when are we ever going to need to do any of this?"

"He trains us in the hopes that we'll have the desire to go and join the army when we're finished."

"And what could possibly make him think that _I_ would want to join the army when I'm done here!"

"The guy's twisted in the head. What do you expect?"

"Keep it moving, ladies! I don't wanna see any slackers out here!" Spangler yelled at the top of his lungs as any general would. The other girls, hoping not to get in trouble with him, up'd their speed a bit, even Tara & Candace.

Another hour passed, and somehow, Candace managed to get through it without ticking off Spangler. After showering off, she returned to her bed to rest her body. The pain from the workout made it hard for her to stand for long periods. But as soon as Tara came running in with a small radio, panting, the aches she felt would be the last thing on her mind.

"Candace, you've gotta hear this!" She shouted frantically.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Gary Coleman suffered a brain hemmorhage and died. Didn't the same thing happen to Brett Michaels a few weeks back?"

"No, not that!" Tara scowled. "And FYI, Michaels lived, you idiot. No, I meant this!" She turned on the radio, and turn the signal to a news report, which was still reporting on Linda's criminal case.

"And we are just hours away from what Mayor Doofenshmirtz is calling "The Trial of the Century" as Linda Flynn, accused of destroying a statue in his honor, will face a jury of her peers. She is accused of driving her car into the statue that was located in the Danville Park and resisting arrest."

Candace could not believe what she was hearing. Her own mother was going to trial for something as heinous as destruction of property. "Whoa, baby! This is big. I'm not sure whether to laugh out loud or feel sorry for her."

"Why would you laugh at her?"

"Um, hello! She's been harping on me for being crazy and outrageous all these years, but then she goes out and does something obnoxious and insane like this."

"But you know, they said earlier that your brothers have joined the force and are trying to prove that your mom's innocent."

"Of course. Phineas and Ferb! That's just like them to do something like this."

"Oh will you give them a break for once! They're trying to keep your mother out of jail, and you actually want her to go to jail."

"Mom always said "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime". Who does she think she is, thinking she could pull something like this and then expect to get away with it? And Phineas and Ferb are helping her! Ooh, I wonder how she's gonna feel if she loses this trial."

"Candace, don't you think you should be a bit more supportive of her through this difficult time."

Candace pretended to give it a lot of thought. Really, she knew what she was going to say. "Hmm, let me think about that. Uh...no!" She began to laugh hysterically as she left the room, leaving Tara confused, annoyed, and hungry.

She approached the restroom when she was suddenly bumbarded by people from news crews & newspapers who had somehow managed to get into the school, despite Spangler's "No interviews" rule.

"Ms. Flynn!" One guy shouted, shoving a microphone into her face. "What are your thoughts on your mother, Linda Flynn's recent arrest."

"Uh..." She tried to formulate an answer until someone else intruded with a question.

"Ms. Flynn, do you believe your mother should pay for this heinous crime?"

"W-Well, see...I..."

"Ms. Flynn, how about the fact that your own brothers, Phineas and Ferb, are trying to defend her?"

Candace was not sure if she should answer that question. She knew what she wanted to say. But knowin the media, she knew that it would blow up in her face somehow, because every time she is put in front of a camera, she somehow looks ugly.

* * *

_**Flynn-Fletcher Home, 11:27 A.M.**_

Phineas and Ferb were going over the evidence that they have collected and tried to piece together a decent story. They had photos of the crime scene, written statements from those they questioned, even a video tape taken of the incident in question. But still, none of it seemed to add up. Theyw ere even able to get a statement from their own mother describing what had happened.

"I don't get it, Ferb. We've gone over all of the evidence like, a hundred times already. But it just doesn't make sense. I mean, Mom even said herself that she wasn't anywhere near the park at the time of the incident. She was at her cooking class. But look here..." He took out a picture clearly showing the broken statue, the car, and the victim in question as she was leaving the car to run away. "This picture clearly shows Mom getting out of the car and running away."

While Phineas was trying desperately to find a way to prove that their mother was innocent, Ferb was slowly becoming convinced that she was guilty. "Hey Ferb, you're awfully quiet. And not your usual quiet." Phineas could immediately tell that something was bothering Ferb. "What's up?" But Ferb refused to answer him. "Come on, Ferb. You can't fool me. I know that something is bothering you."

Ferb shook his head, still refusing to answer.

"Come on. What is it?"

Finally, seeing that Phineas was going to be on his tail the whole day unless Ferb ponied up, he opened his mouth. "Well, I...I just don't know how we're going to prove Mother innocent when it's clear that she's guilty."

"I hear you, Ferb. There are so many conflictings sides that it's hard to - WWHHAAATTT!" Phineas Flynn moaned his "What?" (In a manner similar that Chris Griffin does on Family Guy) "Ferb, did you just say what I think you said?"

Ferb bllinked before answering.

"I can't believe it. You actually think that Mom's guilty, don't you?"

Ferb hesitated, but eventually nodded his head.

"But, why?"

"Are you serious? There is insurmountable evidence against her. She was there at the scence of the crime when it happened, she ran from the police officers, resisted arrest-"

"Yeah, but-"

"And if that's not enough to convince you, we've got statements that put her right at the scene of the crime in extreme detail. We don't have enough convincing statements that defend against this."

"W-What? Are you serious?"

"I am sorry. But I'm afraid I do not see enough evidence to prove her innocence."

Phineas was stunned, shell-shocked that his own stepbrother was actually thinking that Linda Flynn, their own mother, was guilty of the crime. He wanted Ferb's help to prove that she wasn't, but it wouldn't happen unless both agreed she was innocent. "I can't believe you! How could you think that she's guilty!"

"I'm sorry, but it's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it."

"So what you're saying is, you won't help me prove her innocence."

"Nope. In fact..." THe British boy stood up and stared his brother down. "I'm going to prove that she's guilty. We are through!" He turned around and started walking ou the door.

"Ferb, you can't do this!" Phineas called out. "You're my only brother! I can't do this without you!"

"I am sorry, but I cannot defend a belief I do not have faith in. I will see you at the trial! Good day to you, sir!"

"But-"

"I said good day!" He turned around and yelled once more before walking out of the room, leaving a stunned Phineas there to grasp what had just happened.

"Fine! See you then, traitor!" He shouted back, but by then, Ferb was long gone. He sat down and looked over at the evidence, anger fueling him. "Can't believe he did that. After all we've been through together. Well I'm gonna crush him at Mom's trial! I'm gonna bury him right into the ground and make him eat dirt! Right, Perry?" He turned around to see if his platypus agreed with him, only to find that Perry was nowhere near him, or the home for that matter. "Perry? Where'd you go, little buddy?"

* * *

Perry, as it turns out, was heading into his secret lair, having been urgently called in by his boss for an assignment. He turned on his monitor to see Major Monogram standing on the screen.

"Good morning, Agent P. By now, I'm sure you've heard of the little fiascal your owners' mother, Linda Flynn, is in." Perry sadly nodded. "Well, that brings us to our next order of business: why we called you in. We have reviewed the security tape taken of the crime scene and we discovered something very shocking. Well, not "shocking" shocking. More like...eh, yu know what? Forget I said anything. Anyway, we discovered that Dr. Heiz Doofenshmirtz was at the scene of the crime. And whenever he's involved, nothing good comes out of it. We want you to head over to his lair and see if he's linked to this case in any way."

Perry saluted his boss and went on his way, hoping to prove his "mother" innocent.

* * *

_**Danville Courthouse, 2:00 P.M.**_

The hour of the trial had finally arrived, and everybody was nervous as to the outcome. Linda was seated at the defendant's table, while Lawrence was sitting in the row behind her, with Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, and Irving beside him. Phineas and Ferb were nowhere to be found, and Linda was beginning to worry.

"Hon, where are your sons?" She asked her husband anxiously.

"Don't worry, hon. I'm sure they're going to be here. We still have a few minutes before the trial begins." Lawrence tried to assure her.

"I just hope they make it. I could really use their-" She was cut off when the door slammed open, and Phineas, wearing a lawyer's suit and carrying a briefcase, came walking in the room, and took his seat next to his mother. "support."

"Excuse me, young man?" The judge got his attention. "Who are you?"

"Oh, sorry. Where are my manners?" Phineas stood up and walked over to the judge. "Phineas Flynn, certified state lawyer. I'm representing my client, Mrs. Linda Flynn." He handed him a card, and as he read it, he was stunned.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Linda shouted. "He's _not_ my lawyer! He's too young!"

"Well, of course I am. But that doesn't mean I don't know how to do this job."

"Yeah, but-"

"Mrs. Flynn, he is qualified to represent you. He's filled out all the paperwork, he has the proper experience, and on top of that, no one else will take this job." The judge said firmly, which made Linda even more worried.

"But...but..."

"What's the matter? You don't trust me?" Phineas's feelings were starting to be hurt again.

"No. No, it's not that. It's just...what if we don't win?"

"I'm not thinking about that." He walked back to the defendant's table and sat down next to his mother. "There's no way we could lose. There's nothing standing in our way, not even-" Once again, he was interrupted when the doors slammed open. This time, it was Ferb standing at the door. He was also carrying a briefcase as he headed to the plantiff's table. "Ferb."

"And...you are?" The judged asked, now really confused.

Ferb held up a card so the judge could see it. "Ferb Fletcher, certified District Attorney. I was sworn in just hours ago. I have the proper paperwork if you need to see it."

"You know what? That's alright. I'll take your word on it." He didn't really care to see Ferb's paperwork, as he had already seen both of them do so much in past summers that he believed them on anything. "Alright, the case of the people of Danville vs. Linda Flynn is now in session." He banged his gavel. "Does the plaintiff have an opening statement?"

"Yes. Yes I do." Ferb said as he gathered his paper work and stood up. He cleared his throat and prepared to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you may believe that you understand the concept of our legal system. But let me tell you, you do not. And let me tell you why. It is because of-" He pointed his finger at Linda. "That lady over there. She has done something most of us would not even dream of. She has desecrated out Tri-State Area by destroying a piece of art that represents what our Tri-State is all about. Linda Flynn has destroyed a statue of our fair fuler, and today, as I stand before you, it is my job to prove it."

"It is my job to make sure she pays for what she has done. It is my job to right the wrongs done by this injustice. It is my job to send out a message to all the wrong do'ers out there that such an act on humanity will not be tolerated in this fair city as long as I breath air!" The end of Ferb's opening statement was followed by a tearful applauded from his own father, who couldn't help himself; he was so moved by the speech. But after realizing that nobody was clapping with him, he stopped and sat back down.

"Ahem, thank you, Mr. Fletcher." The judge said, trying to hold back some tears. "Does the defendant have an opening statement?"

"Yes, your honor." Phineas stood up firmly, fixed himself up, and glared at Ferb. "You're a joke! Thank you." And with that, he sat back down. Linda slapped her face as the others looked on in surprise. What a horrible start for the defense.

"OK...thank you. Now, does the plantiff have a witness they wish to call?"

"Yes, your honor." Ferb stood up. "The plantiff calls to the stand 'Officer Jared Sanchez'." A guy in a police uniform in the audience stood up and slowly walked to the witness stand. Taking his spot, he placed his hand on the bible the baliff had in front of him and put his other hand up into the air.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"I do." The baliff took the book back as Ferb began the questioning.

"Now, Mr. Sanchez, can you verify your location on the day in question?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Where were you this morning when the crime was commited?"

"Oh...why didn't you just say so? I was at the police station filing some paperwork on another crime that I am not allowed to talk about when we received a call."

"Did this call concern the actual crime?"

"Yeah, it was a distress call that somebody had destroyed the statue of Mayor Doofenshmirtz in the park. So me and a bunch of the other guys rushed over to the scene of the crime where we saw that a car had crashed into the statue."

"Now can you describe the car that you saw at the scene of the crime?"

"Yes. It was a red sedan. Looked like it was about 10 years old. I didn't get the license plate. But I did catch the driver of that vehicle."

"Is that driver present in this courtroom at this very moment?"

"Yes. Yes she is."

"Can you point her out for us?"

"Yes. It's _**THAT LADY!**_" He shouted in an unnecessary voice, pointing at Linda, who gasped, along with everybody else. "Linda Flynn!"

"Just as I thought. Thank you." Ferb took a step back as Phineas stood up and walked over to him.

"Mr. Sanchez, was it? Isn't it true that 'Chef Lopez's (**No, not related to George Lopez in any way**) Cooking Class for the Middle Aged Woman' must send you a list of all of its class attendees due to a federal case that occured several years ago?"

"Yes, that is correct."

Phineas took out a piece of paper and handed it to the man. "Would you please read off the 6th name on the list?"

"Uh..." He looked at the list carefully. "Linda Flynn?"

"So isn't true that this list confirms that Linda indeed attended her cooking class as she stated?"

"Y-Yes, I suppose so."

"Then how, sir, is it possible that my client could be at the park and at her class at the exact same time?"

"Um...black magic?"

Phineas shook his head as he dismissed the witness.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, 2:18 P.M.**_

Meanwhile, Perry was out on his mission to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. Scaling the side of the building, he attempted to remain undetected. Sadly, this plan was not so successful; upon setting foot on the balcony, he was caught in another one of Doofenshmirtz's geniusly set traps. This time, a car fell on him. But instead of crushing him like it should've, it trapped him inside. The doors and the windows were all locked, and Perry couldn't find his way out.

"Aha! I have you trapped, Perry the Platypus!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz cackled, walking out of the shadows and towards his ensnared nemesis. "I-I know a car isn't exactly the best idea for a trap, but...you know, I'm in a slump and I'm running out of ideas. But, I bet you're wondering why I'm in such a good mood." Truthfully, Perry was curious. "Well, I'll tell you why."

He pulled out a chair and sat down right next to the box, not knowing that underneath Perry's skin was a wire he was going to use to catch Dr. Doofenshmirtz in the act (possibly). "You remember a while back when I told you the story of how I went out with that woman, Linda Flynn? You know, the one who later became a pop star?" Perry's eyes opened widely, but nodded his head calmly. "And you also remember how she broke my heart by dumping me? Well...I'm sure you've heard what happened to her today." Once again, Perry nodded. "I know, isn't it great?"

"Just think about it, Perry the Platypus. She caused me pain and suffering, and now she's getting hers. And how ironic that she screws the one person I depise more than you! Oh, this is turning out to be a wonderful day for me. Talk about "killing two birds with one stone", huh?"

Perry growled, not interested in one of Doofenshmirtz's speeches today.

"Don't give me that, Perry the Platypus. You know, nobody asked you to come spy on me today. I'm really not up to anything evil today."

But his words could not have been more wrong. At that moment, what appeared to be Linda came out from the living room and stepped out onto the balcony. Perry's eyes once again opened widely. "Oh, what do we have here? Linda?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz pretended to act suspicious. "Linda Flynn? Is that really you? Why, I can't believe it." He ran up to "Linda". "It's been so long! Oh my goodness, I heard about what happened to you, and I am so..." Then he turned around to Perry. "Punking you, Perry the Platypus!"

And then, just like magic, the figure that looked like Linda began to change. It turns out that she wasn't the real Linda Flynn at all. Instead, it was a robot made to look like her. More specifically, it was Dr. Doofenshmirtz's goofy-but-in-a-funny-way robot assistant, Norm. "Ha ha! I totally tricked you, Perry the Platypus. You shoulda seen your face! I was like "Oh my goodness, Linda! It's been so long!" but it wasn't really her in the first place."

Perry raised an eyebrow, curious to know just what he had done.

"I'm sure you're curious as to what's going on." He chuckled. "Well, stop fussing me. I'll tell you. OK, remember that backstory where she and I went on a date to the movies and it didn't go so well? Well, after a little bit of thinking, I decided that she had no right to treat me the way she did. I was only trying to give her the best day ever and she doesn't even have the nerve to thank me!" He scoffed. "What a jerk! I don't know what I ever saw in her."

"Anyway, so I sent Norm out, after discovering that he had the ability to shape his mechanical body into any form or figure of my choosing..."

"I told you you should've read my manual..."

"Quiet, you! Anyway, I sent him out in the shape of that woman..." He growled as the thought of Linda came up in his mind again. "To buy a sedan that looked exactly like the one she drives, and then I made him drive it and crash it into the one thing I knew would completely crush her spirit: Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz's statue in the Danville Park!" He walked to Perry to gloat while Norm slowly made his way to the video camera Doofenshmirtz had installed over the balcony. "I figured that the recent troubles she was having with her, ahem, daughter, would quickly turn the people against her, and they wouldn't believe her no matter what anybody said about it. My plan was perfect! And the best part is that now that I have you captured, there's nothing you can do about it!"

* * *

_**Danville Courthouse, 2:47 P.M.**_

The trial was now really heating up, and it wasn't looking good for Linda. Phineas was trying his best to defend her. But the overwhelming evidence against her was dampening his spirit. It was now Ferb's turn to present evidence.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I may, I would like to present this security tape taken at the Danville Park at precisely 8:17 this morning, showing the accused having commited the crime she is accused of." Ferb inserted the tape into the DVR player, turned on the TV, and saw back to enjoy the fireworks. The tape turned on and showed the statue completely in tact, just as it was earlier in the day. But suddenly, a red sedan came zooming in, and crashed into it, totally demolishing it. A couple of moments later, the tape showed what appeared to be Linda Flynn (but it really wasn't) coming out of the car and running away from the scene. As soon as police chased her off of the screen, Ferb shut the TV off.

"As you can plainly see, ladies and gentlement, Linda Flynn was clearly the one driving the car that destroyed our precious statue. She also ran from the police, implying that she resisted arrest. I submit that this woman be discplined for her selfish actions and be imprisoned until she can learn to control her temper."

"Objection!" Phineas shouted. "Your honor, what does my client's temper have to do with this case?"

His question was answered when the person that was at the plantiff's table with Ferb, District Attorney Jack McCoy, stood up. "Your honor, if I may, the police report that was filed concerning this case stated, and I quote "The suspect was screaming while she ran from officers. By the time she was aprehended by police, she was yelling profane words that children should not be allowed to hear. She had also cursed out one of the arresting officers and during the car ride to the station, she muttered incoherently the entire way, and appeared as those she belong in a mental asylum" unquote."

"Nice going, big mouth." Phineas said under his breath.

"What! You can't be serious!" Linda shouted.

"Mrs. Flynn, if you are truly as innocent as you claim to be, why would you yell incoherently and curse at the cops who are arresting you?"

"Um, hello! They were arresting me! OK, really? Are you that r-"

"Mom, keep it cool." Phineas held her down as she struggled to stand up. "I'm trying to help you, and I can't unless you calm down."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Ok, back to the case. I overrule the objection." The judge said banging his gavel. Linda was about to open her mouth thinking that the trial was going their way. But then Phineas went on to explain that the overruling was a bad thing for the defense. Linda went back to sulking.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, 3:04 P.M.**_

Doofenshmirtz had pulled up a chair and his little portable TV and sat down with a nice cup full of popcorn, as Linda Flynn's trial unfold. Apparently, it was being broadcast around the world because Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz saw her "crime" as a "crime against humanity". "Oh this is too great." Doofenshmirtz cackled, eating some more popcorn. "That good-for-nothing heartbreaker is finally going to get what she deserves! Norm, you've really outdone yourself this time - Norm?" He looked around quickly and saw that his robotic assistant wasn't in the room with him. He was in his lair for some reason, and he was immediately questioned upon reentering. "Norm, what are you doing in there?"

"I was just putting away that tape of yours."

"Tape? What tape?"

"The one that was in that camera up there-" He pointed to the camera. "that recoreded your whole conversation with your nemesis explaining your whole evil plan to him. I took it out of the camera and put it in your drawer with the other video tapes where you've explained your plan. I even labeled it "Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz explaining his evil plan on how he falsely framed Linda Flynn for a crime she didn't commit." While Norm was explaining this to Doofenshmirtz, Perry saw this as an opportunity to escape from his trap. So, with a laser pen, he carefully carved a circle through one of the glass windows, pushed through, and snuck out behind them to get that tape.

"OK, but, how did you fit all of that onto one label?"

"I wrote really small."

"Oh great. Like that's going to help. You have terrible writing as it is. But now terrible _and_ small! How am I supposed to read it!" It was here that he noticed Perry coming out of the lair with the tape. "Look, look, how is Perry the Platypus able to read that label? Wait, why is Perry the Platypus carrying that videotape in his hand and running towards the edge of the balcony?" Perry turned around, saluted him, turned on his hang-glider, and jumped off the balcony, flying through the breeze on his way to the courthouse. "Wait, wait, Perry the Platypus! Come back!" He tried to get his attention, but it was too late. Perry was long gone. "Oh this is just great!"

Doofenshmirtz walked back into his lair with his robot assistant close behind. "Now everybody's going to see that tape and she'll be acquited of all charges. Unless..." He ran over to his closet and pulled out one of his old inventions. "I use this Media Erase-inator that I built last summer to erase what's on that tape. Then, he won't be able to prove that Flynn woman innocent!" He rolled it out back to the balcony and aimed it at Perry. "Now, I've only got enough power for one shot, so this has to be perfect..."

"Can I do it!" Norm asked politely, almost scaring Doofenshmirtz into hitting the button.

"Don't scare me like that, Norm. And no, you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I have much better aim than you. I could easily take that tape out."

"Sure you can." Norm replied sarcastically.

"Wait, what is _that_ suppoed to mean?"

"If you could _easily_ take it out, just like you said you could_ easily_ take out your nemesis, who is just a suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable, dynamic fury, then you would've been rid of him last year."

Doofenshmirtz blinked for a moment. "Well, when you say it like that, it makes me sound like I don't know what I'm doing."

"Here. Let me." Norm rushed to the device and pushed the button hard, causing the laser to fire. Unfortunately, it wasn't even close to where Perry was. Instead, the laser fired and it hit a video tape that was in another house...a video tape that contained the last few minutes of the Stanley Cup Finals. The man in questioned was devestated that the footage was lost. "Oops."

"Yeah, thanks alot, Norm! Now Linda Flynn will be acquitted. This is horrible!"

"How about a game? I suggest billiards."

"First off, it's called "pool" And second, I'd prefer playing Hide and Seek because I don't want to see you."

"Ouch."

Perry headed off to his lair to send the tape over to his boss in the hopes of having him edit it to exclude any evidence of his secret agent life from it.

* * *

_**Danville Courthouse, 3:53 P.M.**_

The trial was back in session, having come back from a 30 minute break. Phineas was desperate before the trial went to a break. But after receiving some helpful evidence from a friend (the videotape Perry got from Doofenshmirtz; he hired someone to deliver the videotape to him), his confidence was renewed.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if I may, I'd like to present this piece of evidence that, in my opinion, will seal this trial right up." Phineas inserted the videotape in the DVR player. It turned on immediately and showed Dr. Doofenshmirtz beginning to explain his evil plan to Perry. But instead of Perry being shown on the tape, he was replaced with an image of Rosie O' Donnell. Everybody listened intensively as the tape played out, and the mad scientist explained what had really happened, from him disguising his robot assistant as Linda to using him to drive her car into the statue...all the way down to making her seem like she hated the mayor.

Everybody gasped out in shock as Phineas turned the tape off. "Do you see now, folks? Whoever this man - this despicable excuse for a man is - has desecrated and demolished the good name of our Tri-State Area. He has demoralized what it truly means to live in this wonderful place. He has done the utmost wrong that my client has been accused of, and I submit to you that she be acquitted of all charges laid against her! The defense rests."

As Phineas took his seat, he couldn't help but look over at his stepbrother, Ferb. He stared right at him, his facial expression saying "I'm sorry.". Phineas's facial expression replied with "I forgive you." The two had made up, a truce being formed. All was well between the two again. Now, all that was left was the jury's decision of whether Linda should be sent to prison or whether she should return to her family.

"Does the plaintiff have a witness?" The judge asked. Ferb shook his head. "Very well. The jury will now report to the juror's room to reach a verdict. Court is dismissed." He banged his gavel as everyone started leaving the room. The kids all gathered outside, where Phineas & Ferb formally apologized to each other.

"Ferb, let's make a promise right here, right now, that you and I will never let anything like this get in the way of our friendship ever again. Deal?" Phineas held his hand out for Ferb to shake.

"Deal." And he accepted.

"It's really great to see that the two of you aren't fighting anymore." Isabella noted, making her way up to the both of them, wrapping her arms around their shoulders and kissing Phineas on the cheek. "Looks like everything's back to normal."

"Yeah, and now we just have to wait for the jury to come out and say "Not Guilty"-"

"The jury's back!" The bailiff shouted, as everyone filed right back into the room. The jurors took their spot as Linda crossed her fingers.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" The judge immediately asked the jury. Juror #1 stood up slowly, hanging his head down, as Phineas took a sip of his water.

"Your honor, we jurors have not reached a verdict." He said in a disappointed tone, causing Phineas to immediately spit his drink out in shock. Everyone in the room gasped. "We're a hung jury, your honor."

"A-Are you serious? But you were only in there 60 seconds."

"Yeah, but to be honest, we're quite sick of these people and we really don't want to meet up with them again."

"OK, so why didn't you just vote "Not Guilty"?" The juror shook his head. "Oh, just perfect." He scoffed. "Fine, then I have no choice but to declare a Mistrial. The trial will begin again at a later date with a new jury and new lawyers." He stared at Phineas & Ferb, who were surprised at the turn of events. "Court dismissed." He banged his gavel and immediately left the room. Everybody else soon followed, some of them disgusted & disappointed with what happened.

"I can't believe it. I have to do this all over again." Linda said, feeling defeated. She really didn't want to have to go through another trial.

"Don't worry about it, Mom. At least this time we really have some hard evidence to prove your innocence. Maybe the next 12 jurors will believe you more than these guys did." Phineas assured her.

"Boy, I hope you're right. Oh well, nothing to worry about now. Let's all go out for pizza."

"Yay!" All the kids cheered as they all headed out the door towards the car. Along the way, they came across a stern growling sound, and Phineas looked down to see it was his pet platypus. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 17!**

**Hope you liked it! Read & Review!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb are confronted about their various summer activities by their mother, and the results are less than expected. **

**Expected Update: Sometime after June 25th. Sorry; finals.**


	24. 18: Confrontation

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 18: Confrontation (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: Part 1 of a new 2-part special event. After having time to think about all of Phineas and Ferb's past summer adventures, Linda finally decides to bring Candace home from military school. But Phineas, still shaken up from her last visit, despises the idea, and an explosion on Linda's part could tear the family apart even more. Meanwhile, an opportunity for Candace to finally rid herself of her "busting urge" comes around, and it's up to her to decide if she truly wants it...and if she's mentally sane enough to handle it. Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to become a "good citizen" and help people out, and the results are...mixed.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

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* * *

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___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

Phineas and Ferb were at their breakfast table, enjoying a delicious breakfast cooked by their mother. Everything was normal for now. But, as always, that would soon change.

"So boys, what are your plans for today?" Linda asked them, slightly twitchy. Ever since she learned that Candace had been right about them, she had been slightly on edge about it, just like Candace used to be. "Anything wild or spectacular today?"

"We're still trying to decide." Phineas replied, optimistic as ever. "We're not sure whether we should build rocket-powered wings or build a machine that transmits your thoughts & dreams into a TV show."

"Well, that sounds quite...creative. I hope you boys have fun."

"We always do, Mom." The two boys finished up their breakfasts, washed their dirty dishes for their mother (to which she was pleased), and then went outside to begin their daily plan. They were greeted by their friends, Buford, Baljeet, Irving, and Isabella.

"Hi Phineas." Isabella immediately said as he ran right up to her and the two embraced. "So, what fun activity are you guys planning today?"

"We're not sure yet. Could you help us decide?"

"Sure." All the kids replied individually before Isabella spoke up again. "But I have to leave at 8:30. I have a Fireside Girls meeting to go to."

"Aww...do you really have to?" Phineas asked in a babyish tone. "Do you really have to leave me?"

"Hey, I'm the leader. I have to be there. But I'll only be gone for about an hour. Then the rest of the day is ours, Phiny-boo." She ticked underneath his chin (or at least where his chin was supposed to be), making Phineas giggle. Buford made gagging noises.

"Oh, alright. I guess I'll manage without you. Come on, let's get to deciding what we're gonna - hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was already in the backyard, having sneaked away from the breakfast table. He went over to the side of his house, knocked a couple of times, and slid right in as soon as the door open. He went down a straight path tube right to his lair, where he met up with his boss on the big monitor.

"Good morning, Agent P. Sorry to bother you so early in the morning. But it's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's up to something. Our sources caught Dr. Doofenshmirtz helping an old lady cross the street." The screen switched to Dr. Doofenshmirtz helping a 95-year old lady crossing the street deep into the Tri-State Area. They were moving so slowly, though, that drivers who had stopped to let the go were now yelling and cursing at them. "Now, at first we believed that this was another one of his evil schemes. But upon closer look at the tape, I realized...it was my grandmother! It was my grandmother!" Before either of them realized it, Major Monogram was in tears, crying and thanking Dr. Doofenshmirtz for walking his grandmother across the street.

Perry rolled his eyes, and considered walking out of the lair. "Sorry about that." Monogram said, regaining his composure. "Anyway, I want you to go out and investigate. It's too early to tell whether or not Doofenshmirtz is "defecting to the good side". Good luck, Agent P."

He saluted his boss, took the hover car, and went on his way.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Commandant Spangler's military school, the former military general had gathered all of his students for an important announcement. Candace was reluctant to go and originally opted to stay behind, but she was warned that by doing so, she'd risk getting latrine duty for 2 weeks. She didn't want that, so she sucked it up and went.

"At ease, Cadets." Spangler said upon entering the room. "I have an important announcement to make."

"If it's about the 3-week old lasagna they're serving us today, it's nothing we didn't already know." Candace snickered to her friend, Tara.

"Over the past several weeks, I have noticed such a significant growth in each and every one of my cadets, or at least..." He eyeballed Candace, who gulped in fear. "_some_ growth. Nevertheless, I am pleased to announce that "that time of the month" has come by once again."

All the cadets began to murmur in excitement except for Candace. She had no idea what was going on.

"Over the course of the next 2 days, I'll be looking for volunteers to join the "Advance Youth Military Training Program". You'll have to pass an eye exam, a mentality exam, and a physical. If you would like to sign up, there will be a sign up sheet by my office. The deadline is noon today and testing will begin at approximately 12:30. Dismissed." He saluted them as they all saluted back, and then they all went their seperate ways. Tara & Candace went back to their room. Tara was excited while Candace was confused.

"What's all the fuss about? What's this "Advanced Youth Military Training Program" he was talking about?" She asked.

"What is it? It's only one of the most difficult yet rewarding military programs ever offered to children under the age of 19." Tara began to explain to her. "Every month, Spangler puts that sign up sheet near his office and those who want to go for it and are accepted are given the chance to be taken out of this school to a out-of-country training sight to be given more difficult, more excruciating, & more invigorating military training."

"Man, why would anyone ever want to go for that?"

"Because this place is designed for girls who really want to serve their country when they get older. The only reason you're here is because your parents think you're insane."

"Yeah, but I'm not insane, and Mom knows it! And one of these days, she'll see Phineas & Ferb up to something and then she'll finally see that I was right all along!" What Candace didn't know by this point was that her mother had already seen some of Phineas and Ferb's outrageous summer projects.

"See, Candace, that's your problem."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're always obsessing over them when there are plenty of opportunities out there waiting for you to take, like this program. Why don't you sign up for it?"

"Me? Are you kidding? Do I look like the girl that wants to get down and dirty in some foreign country! No! I'm the kind of girl that wants to put crazy out-of-their-mind boys in their place! That's right!" Candace was losing it again. "Phineas and Ferb have made me miserable from day 1, and now it's time for some payback! One of these days, my Mom's gonna feel like a total loser, and COME CRYING BACK TO ME! AND I'll REJECT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL EVEN WORSE!" She ended her rant and started huffing and puffing like crazy. She was even sweating now. Tara shook her head.

"See? This is what I mean."

"Whoa, man, I'm dizzy now." Candace took a seat on her bed to clear her head. "Maybe you're right."

"I know I'm right. I've been right for the past 3 weeks."

"But I don't think joining the program would be the best idea for me. I mean, I'm always going to have Phineas & Ferb on my mind. As much as I want to bust them, Phineas is mad enough at me already. I don't want him to completely turn his back on me." Candace contemplated this tough dilemma, the first thing she truly thought about for a while. "Tara, what do you think I should do?"

"I think you should sign up. I mean, signing up doesn't mean you're automatically in. He said you had to pass some tests, and trust me, they're really hard."

"How do you know? Have you tried to get in before?"

"Yes, yes I have. I've been here for almost 4 months, and I've been raring to get into the game for awhile. At first, I was apprehensive, and I didn't even try the first 2 times. But about a week before you came, he put up that sheet again and I decided to sign up for it. I passed the mentality test and the eye exam, but I didn't do so well on the physical."

"How do you not do so well on a physical? I mean, all they do is take your weight & height, right?"

"Well, not Spangler's physicals. I mean, yeah, he did that, and I was pretty much in the normal range. But he also literally tests your body physically. When he did my test, he made me run on a treadmill for like, ever, I also had to lift weights...heck, I think he even made me do the entire Presidential Fitness Test."

"And you didn't pass it?"

"Nah. I wasn't exactly in the best shape of my life. But a month of hard, focused training and now I'm like Shaun T. You know, the guy with the "Insanity" workout DVD series? Dude, have you seen those workouts? They are maddening! No wonder they're called "insane"." The two walked out of their room towards the sign up sheet.

"So what happens if you get picked exactly?"

"Well, the lucky ones who prove themselves to be the strongest & fittest & the most stable-minded get to leave this school and are transported to some faraway training camp to intensify their military skills. I'm not sure exactly how long they're gone for or where exactly you go, because the location varies each time, but once you come back, you'll be ready to serve your country like a lean, mean, fighting machine!"

"Jeez, sounds tough." Candace said as she took a pencil and wrote her name down on the sheet. She was only the 5th name on the list. "Gee, not many people signed up."

"Trust me." Tara said, signing her name up as well. "Come noon, they'll be at least 3 dozen names on this list."

* * *

Back at home, Lawrence was watching an episode of "Pinhead Pierre" as Linda came into the room, looking a bit worried.

"Honey, can I talk to you about something?" Linda asked taking a seat.

"Of course, honey. What's on your mind?"

"Lawrence...what do you think of our children?" She asked bluntly; she couldn't think of any other way to put it. Lawrence muted the television and turned to face his wife.

"W-What was that?"

"What do you think of our children? Phineas and Ferb, I mean."

"Oh. Uh, well, I think they're very creative boys. They like to have fun, and obviously they're very friendly with people. I mean, look at their circle of friends."

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"Then what is it that you meant, dear?"

"Do you think Phineas and Ferb are capable of...building extraordinary things, for example, a roller coaster?"

Lawrence hesitated, but gave her a straight answer. "If they put their minds to it, I'm sure they could."

"Like...you know, in a day?"

Now Lawrence was getting confused. "Linda, if your trying to tell me something, just come out with it."

"OK." Linda took in a deep breath and prepared to tell her husband the "shocking truth", when, the truth was, he already knew about them and their activities, or at least some of them. But he didn't really care to do something about it because somehow he knew that Phineas & Ferb were never out to hurt anybody, including themselves. "A couple of days back, there was a news report on TV that had Phineas and Ferb on it. It talked about all of their "summer projects" and stuff. You know, the ones Candace tried to tell me about."

Lawrence shut the TV off and gave his full attention to his wife. "Oh dear me." Linda has had a habit of "jumping the gun" on things. Since she has never actually seen Phineas and Ferb build a crazy contraption, she thought she should get a second opinion from someone she trusted. "When did this happen?"

"I told you, a couple of days ago. I was at the spa with Vivian."

"How have you been dealing with it?"

"Horribly. I haven't been able to sleep at all for the past several nights. I just feel awful for practically disowning Candace the way I did. I just..."

"Honey, honey, it's OK." Lawrence reached out to give Linda a hug. "Just because she was right about them doesn't mean that she had the right to act the way she did."

"I guess so. But still, I have to do something to make it up to her. I know." She wiped tears away from her eyes and stood up. "I'll go punish Phineas & Ferb right now. Oh, when they get out of grounding, they'll be old enough to check into a senior center!" She started marching towards the door, only to have it blocked by her husband.

"Now, Linda, I don't think that's such a great idea." He tried to convince her.

"Why not? It's not fair to Candace if I don't."

"Look, I know you're upset about this. But let's think about it rationally. I mean, just think about what happened the last time Candace was hear. She blew her top off and made Phineas cry. All the boys are trying to do is have fun during the summer. You know, make each day the "Best Day Ever", right?"

"I suppose so."

"And there's no harm in that, right?"

"I guess not. But then, what should I do? Candace is so bent on getting them in trouble...this would probably make her jump for joy."

"I know you feel bad about the way you treated her while she was here. But maybe she's improved while she's been at the school. And besides, you don't want to make your sons feel like they're doing something wrong. I mean..." He showed her out of the window to a scene of the two brothers & their best friends working on their project for the day, which they decided it to be a machine that transmits one's thoughts & dreams onto a TV screen. "Look how happy they are. You don't want to take that away from them, do you?"

"Of course not, honey. And you're not worried about them?"

"Not at all. They're not putting themselves in harm's way, are they?"

"Maybe I should at least go outside and see what they're up to." She slowly began edging towards the door.

"Remember honey. Stay calm, and don't do anything you'll regret."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Perry sneaked up the side of the building in the hopes of gaining an edge on Doofenshmirtz. Upon getting up onto the balcony, he was surprised that there was no trap set up for him. Instead, there were streamers and balloons everywhere. He walked into the lair and noticed that a banner was up, and it read "Congratulations, Doofenshmirtz". Perry went further inside to see what the fuss was about, and noticing Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Norm enjoying a spot of tea (Did I just say "Spot"? Holy, I'm going British!)

"Oh hello, Perry the Platypus. I didn't even hear you come in." Doofenshmirtz said happily. Perry gave him a curious look, as if he was saying "What's with the streamers, buddy?" "Oh, this? Well, I'm not sure if Monogram told you, but I've decided to take a break from my evil plans and join the good side." He didn't seem so convincing, but Perry wasn't exactly in the best mood for fighting him, so he chose to let him speak. "See, since evil hasn't really worked out for me, and that's considering the fact that I'm...not really evil, I've decided to see what a good guy would do. Why, just today I've helped an old lady cross the street; and later today, I'm going to volunteer my time to clean up the garbage around the Tri-State Area."

Perry was still a bit suspicious as the scientist got up and walked over to him. "Look, look, I don't even have a trap planned for you today. Isn't that great? See? No trap."

"What about the cage you set up by your room?" Norm inquired, raising suspicions for Perry again.

"You know that's for the mice that keep crawling into my room."

"What mice is 32 inches long?"

"Shut it, Norm. Whose side are you on anyway?" He turned back to Perry. "So, anyway, it all started early this morning. I was looking through all of my blueprints for something to do today, and then I thought to myself, "Oh boy. Here we go again". You know, it occurred to me that my days tend to repeat themselves. You know, I have a scheme, you try to stop me, I trap you, I tell you my scheme, you escape, we fight, I'm defeated. I figured today I would mix things up and try something different. What's the worst thing that could happen with me being good? Right?"

Perry nodded his head in agreement.

"But, if it doesn't go over well, then I'll go back to being evil." He checked his watch for the time. "Oh, would you like at that? I'm gonna be late for my voluntary community service!"

* * *

It was now 9:30, and Linda casually walked out of her home towards her two sons & their friends, who were nearly finishing building their device. "Hi boys." She said calmly, trying hard to hold in her anxiety.

"Hi Mom. We're just putting the finishing touches on our new "Dream Machine 2.0". Wanna see how it works?"

"Sure, guys. That sounds...fun." Linda tried to keep her composure, edging closer to them. She had never actually seen one of their inventions before...or rather, one that she knew was built by them and one that actually worked the way Candace described it to her. "This isn't dangerous or anything, right?"

"Of course not. Why would you ask such a silly question?"

Linda chuckled, though it seemed rather a forced chuckle. "No reason. So, how does it work?"

"Hang on." Phineas was just finishing up as he held up a giant, metal helmet. "You put this helmet on and assume a relaxed position. The helmet takes care of the rest. It has small magnetic impulses that tape into the brain's subconscious, more specifically, the part of your brain that creates dreams. Those thoughts are then processed through the main computer and then projected onto the TV screen. Here, I'll demonstrate for you." He sat down on the lawn and crossed his legs. It did not take any time for Phineas to relax and let the machine do its thing. 5 seconds later, the TV screen produced an image of an 18-year old Phineas & Isabella lying on top of what appeared to be an apartment building, gazing up at the night sky, and then gazing at each other. The scene was taking place the night after they were planning to get married.

"Oh, that's adorable." Linda said. "Phineas, you're becoming quite the ladies man."

"He sure is." Isabella said, popping out from behind the TV screen, having just gotten back from her Fireside Girls meeting. She looked at the monitor and saw what Linda was referring to. "Oh my goodness, that is so cute!"

"Izzy, you're back!" Phineas shouted happily. He reached out and tackled her to the ground in the biggest hug anybody had ever seen. "I missed you so much!"

"I told you I was only going to be gone for an hour."

"But it seemed like forever to me 'cause I love you so much!"

"Ugh, barfforoni!" Buford shouted, making more gagging noises. Phineas and Isabella paid no attention to it as the bully walked up to the boy and took the helmet off Phineas's head and put it on his. Soon the TV screen went blank and then produced an image of Buford eating a salami sandwich at his house that was made by his mother.

"Oh, like yours is any better." Baljeet said mockingly. "You can have a salami sandwich any time of the day."

"Shows how much you know about me, squirt!"

* * *

Back at the military school, Candace and Tara, along with other girls who were signed up for the program, were waiting in the lobby for their turn to be examined.

"OK, Flynn, Banks (Tara), and Spindler! Follow me." Spangler called as Candace, Tara, and another girl, stood up and followed the sound of his voice.

"I didn't know your last name was Banks." Candace said to Tara. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I really don't like talking about it, OK?"

The three girls were taken to three separate rooms. One of the rooms was a gym where their physical would be held, another room was for the eye test, and the third room was for the "mentality" test. Candace's first test was the physical. It was rigorous for her, because she was required to perform the entire Presidential Fitness Test. That included Push-ups, Sit-ups, Sit & Reach, Shuttle Run, Pull-ups, and the dread 1-mile run.

Surprisingly, Candace was able to make through nearly all aspects. Now all that was left was the 1-mile run. "Alright, Flynn." Spangler said as Candace readied herself at the starting point. They were still in the room, only now Candace was at the starting point of a circular track, a track that required 4 laps around to equal 1 mile (based off of my school track). "This is the final part of the Presidential Fitness Test."

"I know. I have to run 1 mile at this part, right?"

"Correct. And at this track, that means you must make 4 laps around."

"Right."

"And since you are age 16 years old that means you must complete this in under 10 minutes."

"Well, that sounds fair. I guess - wait, WHAT! 10 minutes! But last time I did this, it was 12!"

"And when was the last time you did this?"

Candace had to think back for a moment. "Uh...3 years ago."

"What happened to the other 2 years?"

"I...skipped the mile run to spy on my brothers to try and bust them...?"

Spangler shook his head. "Sad. Really sad. The time stands at 10 minutes. Now, GO!" He pulled out a shotgun and fired a shot into the air, signaling the start of the race. Candace took off at the speed of light. Completely out of practice as far as running professionally, she was relying on luck and sheer determination to help get her across the line. No pun intended.

Meanwhile, Tara was just wrapping up with her mentality test with the psychologist, Dr. Rick Phillips. She exited the room and then proceeded towards the eye exam room. It didn't take long for her, because Tara had perfect 20/20 vision. She didn't even take 3 minutes to complete the test, and afterwards, went to check on Candace, who was struggling with her test.

* * *

Back out in the city, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was beginning his voluntary community service: picking up trash scattered in the park. Luckily for him, he wasn't the only one there for community service. He was just the only one doing it willfully. Everybody else was doing it because of a court sentencing. Perry was with him, keeping an eye on him just in case.

"Perry the Platypus, you have nothing to worry about." Doofenshmirtz tried to reassure the concerned spy. "I told you, I'm defecting over to the good side...at least for today. But let's see where things go." He began to pick up trash slowly. "I mean, it's just trash. What's the worst thing that could happen?" He stopped when he realized that he had picked up something...less desirable: A woman's bra. "This isn't what I think it is, is it?" He took a closer look at it, and then screamed. "EW! That's horrifying. Oh my - I can't believe somebody would just throw something like this out! It's still in great shape! What is it? Too small or something? Pff! Then give it to a teenager for pete's sake! Don't just throw it out!"

His rant caught the attention of a nearby correction officer. "Sir, can I help you with something?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you may." He said kindly but sternly. Can you please explain to me why people would be so stuck-up enough as to throw _THIS_ away!" He held up the bra he found. "I mean, this is just disgusting."

"Sir, what people throw out and what ends up here is not in our control. What _is_ under our control is the people who clean it up, like those convicts over there, who, according to my watch, are about to end their day." A bell rang, signaling the end of the convicts' community service day. Said criminals dropped their garbage bags and their sticks and ran off, leaving Doofenshmirtz there. "You're on your own." The officer left. Now Doofenshmirtz was all alone, stuck with a park completely full of garbage.

"Oh sure. Walk away, pal! That's the real mature thing to do! I'm here by myself donating my spare time to helping you guys clean up the Tri-State Area and this is the thanks I get! Hmph! I hope something really bad happens to you...like...like, you get fired or something. Or-Or at least yelled at by your boss. Or at the very least, you meet someone that doesn't like you at first glance. But then again, who wouldn't? I mean, that man was gorgeous. He was, like, drop dead gorgeous! I just wanna...I-I should shut up now."

Perry shook his head as he came out of his hiding spot. "Look at all of this, Perry the Platypus. This park is disgusting! And people just deal with it! It's preposterous if you ask me. Somebody should do something about it. And by someone, I mean me. And by something, I mean...heh, eh, well...I haven't really...I don't really have anything in mind, yet. But I promise you that by day's end this whole park will be rid of this garbage, as will the entire Tri-State Area! Come, Perry the Platytpus! Back to my lair!"

He picked Perry the Platypus up and took him towards his car, where he drove back to his building, rode up to his floor, and began working on something that would help him clean up the Tri-State Area of trash.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at home, Baljeet was just finishing up use of the Dream Machine 2.0. His dream was to one day win the Nobel Prize, a dream which Linda & Buford couldn't stand. Baljeet took his seat on the lawn. Ferb had already taken his turn, and the others were delighted to a scene where he and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (who was still unknown to the gang at this point) enjoy a movie together & eventually kiss, and there was no need for Isabella to use it because everybody already knew what her biggest dream was: to marry Phineas & be buried in the same coffin as him when they die.

"OK, Mom. You're the last one up." Phineas said.

Linda was reluctant to use it. The machine looked rather dangerous to her at first, but seeing everybody else use it and not come back with any dangerous or life-threatening side effects made her feel...slightly less paranoid. "Um...OK." She slowly stood up and walked over to the machine. She sat down and put the helmet on her head.

"Now just relax and let the helmet do the rest." Phineas said as Linda's breathing began to slow. "There you go, Mom. Now as long as you stay relaxed and think happy thoughts, your dreams will pop up on that screen."

Linda closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind of anything that might interfere with the machine's work. But upon closing her eyes, the troubles started. She started wincing and sweating a bit. The image that came to mind was one Phineas and the others weren't ready for. "No, Candace! Please!" She soon started screaming. "I'm sorry!"

"Mom, are you OK?" Phineas asked. "You have to calm down. Otherwise, your dreams won't pop up on the screen. Instead, we'll all see your nightmares!"

"Candace, please! You don't understand! It's just - oh, I'm so sorry!" Linda was on the brink of tears as the screen began to act up. 30 seconds of work, and it produced a scene depicting Candace and Linda in an argument. The scene began moving.

_"Candace, please! You have to forgive me."_

_"I don't **have** to do anything, mother! You thought I was crazy! You thought I was insane! You thought I belonged in a military school!"_

_"But-"_

_"And now, now after all these years, and after all of the evidence has blown up in your face, you expect me to just accept your apology and come back home?"_

_"Yes. Yes I do."_

_"Well, keep dreaming!"_ Dream Candace shoved her mother to the ground and laughed, making Dream Linda cringe in fear. "_At least that lazy butt of yours is good for something! Cushioning your falls! Dream Candace is out. Peace!"_ She made a peace sign and went off in another direction.

_"Candace! Wait!" _Dream Linda shouted, trying to stand up and go after her. "_Please! We can work this out! I'm sorry! CANDACE!"_ And then the TV shorted out, overloading from the devastating & negative thoughts coursing through the machine. Real life Linda was starting to cry as Phineas and Ferb removed the helmet off her head and helped her up.

"Mom...are you alright?" Phineas asked again. The broken mother looked down at her two sons and gave them both hugs.

"Boys, there's something I need to tell you." She said calmly while trying to hold back more tears.

"Uh, hello? We're right here." Buford said angrily.

"Oh you guys can go home."

Buford, shocked that Linda didn't even turn around to face him, bitterly stood up, grabbed Baljeet, and went off back to his house. Isabella stayed behind because...well, she loved Phineas.

"What is it, Mom? Is something wrong?"

"Boys..." Linda was about to make a decision that Phineas and Ferb might possibly go against. But she felt that because she had been so hard on Candace in the past, this would be the right thing to do to make sure she didn't lose her forever. "I think I'm going to bring your sister home from military school."

Ferb didn't show any sign of shock from this announcement. That's because he rarely showed emotion for anything. He had emotion, but he just didn't show it that often. Phineas, however, was a different story. His jaw dropped practically to the ground upon hearing what his mother had to say. Isabella waved her hand across his face to see if he was still with them. But unfortunately, he wasn't. His mother's announcement threw him out of whack, and as a result, he nearly fainted, and had to be caught by Isabella to avoid falling to the ground.

* * *

Back at the military school, Candace was now waiting in the lobby with Tara for her mentality test. She had already taken her eye exam and was able to pass her physical exam. She ran the mile in 9 minutes and 59 seconds, just getting under the 10 minute mark, and passing the Presidential Fitness test.

"Flynn!" Spangler called. "Your turn." Candace stood up and walked slowly towards the mentality testing room, where Spangler was waiting for her. "Just take a seat, inside. Your administrator will be with you shortly." He said, leaving the scene. Candace slowly opened the door and entered the room. She saw that there were two chairs set up, and sat down in one of them. She figured that her administrator would show up in just a few moments, so she tried to do some things to occupy her mind until he or she arrived. This included making sock puppets out of her socks, drawing pictures, and even playing with nearby pencils. Wow, those 30 seconds were wasted in her eyes.

Of course, what Candace did not know, and what Spangler deliberately forgot to tell her, was that this was the first part of her mentality test: practicing patience. So when Dr. Rick Phillips came in and saw Candace slumped in his good chair, angrily staring into space with her arms crossed, tapping her foot quickly, he lost his vibe of confidence in her.

He approached her and held out his hand for her to shake. "Candace Flynn, I presume."

Candace reached her hand out to shake, but she did it forcefully stemming from her impatience. "It's about time, bucko! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you!"

"Approximately five minutes,"

Her eyes widened. "Really? Has it only been five minutes?"

"Oh, I can tell that this is going to be a difficult journey for you." He took out a clipboard and started writing stuff done. "Practices impatience."

"Wait, what was that? Practicing impatience! I am NOT impatient! And that's not even part of the..." Suddenly she stopped, realizing what Spangler was up to. She slapped her forehead. "test. Oh, I should've known! But why?"

"Candace, the key to any success in a military task is patience. Those who do not practice it have a higher chance of failure than those who do."

"So...I'm off to a bad start, aren't I?"

"So far. But let's see how the rest of the test goes, shall we?" He got out some supplies he would need for the remainder of the test. "Now, for the second part of this test, I am going to hold up a bunch of ink blots one at a time. All you have to do is tell me what you see? Understand?"

"Yes."

"OK." He held up the first ink blot. Candace studied it carefully, and suddenly, her "bust urge" started to act up.

"Oh, oh, oh! That's Phineas and Ferb! And they're building a rocket ship to space!"

The doctor studied this carefully and wrote down some notes. Then he took out a second ink blot. Again, Candace studied it before her "busting urge" took over.

"Phineas and Ferb building a time machine, going back into the past, and playing with dinosaurs that are eating me up!"

Again, notes were made, and then a third ink blot was held up.

"Phineas and Ferb ruining my Aunt Bob and Uncle Tiana's wedding!"

"Isn't it "Aunt Tiana and Uncle Bob"?"

"Whatever, fancy pants! Just move onto the next one! Now!" She was getting impatient. All those past memories were starting to cloud her judgement and she wanted to get home and bust Phineas and Ferb. The doctor reluctantly agreed and held up a fourth ink blot. "Phineas and Ferb building a rollercoaster!" The doctor took out another card, but this time, instead of an ink blot on it, it was just a regular picture of a yellow-skinned, overweight cartoon character with a donut in one hand and a beer in the other hand. (Homer Simpson)

But Candace, oblivious as she was, thought it was just another ink blot. Heck, she wasn't absolutely no time on that one. "Phineas and Ferb playing with Gelatin like it's some bouncy toy."

"That wasn't even an ink blot." Dr. Phillips made sure to make a note of it. He put his blots down and took out a tape recorder. "After ink blot test, my studies end with a conclusion that subject Candace Flynn is...stupid." The girls' mouth dropped in shock.

"Stupid!"

"Now, Candace, from the answers you've given me, it appears that you have an issue concerning these boys you've described-"

"Phineas and Ferb? They're my brothers."

"Ahh, yes. Now it makes sense. That's the "problem" Spangler described to me before you came in. Now, let me ask you. Why do you feel the need to "bust your brothers" to your mother."

"I-I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"To tell the truth, I'm not really sure when my obsession with them started. All I know is that Phineas and Ferb do something wild and crazy everyday during the summer, I try to call my mom and show them what they're up to. But every time she gets home, whatever they did for the day is gone and she thinks I'm crazy!"

"Are you-"

"NO! I'm not crazy! And one of these days, I'm gonna prove it to her that I am not insane!" Candace's eye began to twitch.

"You seem to have a strained relationship with your mother."

"Yes I do. Every time I fail, I just get that much more determined to prove her wrong, because then I'll be able to hang it over her head for years to come."

"Come now, Candace. You don't mean that, do you?"

"No, I do. That jerk has had it coming!"

While Candace continued to vent, Dr. Phillips made certain to record every little note he could for her evaluation with Spangler. After a few more tests, the doctor dismissed Candace and then called in the next girl.

* * *

Dr. Doofenshmirtz had just finished up his latest invention, and was about to unleash it from his balcony. "At last, by newest creation is finished." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said as he aimed it over the edge. "Perry the Platypus, please meet...the Trash-inator!" It was a giant metal detector with an opening near the front end and a giant bag attached to the back end, but instead of picking up and retracting metal, it retracts garbage & trash. "With this device, I can pick up on any garbage that's not either in a recyclable bin or trash can, or in the city dump, and with the simple push of a button, pull it into this cleverly attached garbage bag. I told you I'm gonna do something good for this place and I will!"

Perry, seeing no true harm in the scientist's plan, decided to sit back and let him go through with it. Doofenshmirtz turned on his evil creation, and it began scanning the Tri-State Area for leftover trash that wasn't properly thrown out. "It-It might take a few moments for it to pick something up on its - wait!" It began beeping quickly, and far in the distance, empty crushed up cans of soda and old newspapers could be seen flying up towards the detector. Soon, it was sucked it through the hole and into the bag. "Yes! It's working. It's working!"

It took a long time for the garbage to arrive and enter the bag, and after each arrival, there was an enormous waiting time for the next batch. "Oh, this is insufferable! This waiting is ridiculous! Let's speed things up a bit." He turned a dial on his contraption to increase the suction power on his vacuum thingy. Unfortunately, what he didn't realize was that he had set in on a level that it wasn't supposed to go. Pretty soon the papers, cans, & even bottles came swarming up like they had been sucked up in a tornado, and began filling up the bag like there was no tomorrow.

Doofenshmirtz was enjoying every minute of it, but Perry was a but suspicious. "Soon, Perry the Platypus, the entire Tri-State Area will be cleaned of the utterly disgusting trash that surrounds it. Then I will be hailed as a hero around the globe for cleaning up the entire Tri-State Area! Ooh, I should get this on film! Norm! Go get the camera and start recording-" He looked back and noticed that his bag was filling up a bit more quickly than he anticipated. Then he looked forward and noticed all of the trash coming his way. Some of it was even starting to hit him in the face. "Ow! Hey, watch where you're-"

Then he heard a ripping sound, and he looked back at the bag. To his horror, he discovered that it was the bag that was slowly starting to rip from filling with too much garbage. The bag was growing to a massive size. "Wow...there is a lot more garbage out there than I thought..." He checked his monitor and realized where all of the garbage was coming from. "Uh oh. Wait a minute. I specifically programmed this thing to not work on dumpsters or trash cans. Uh oh...this could be a problem."

A few seconds later, after the bag had far surpassed maximum capacity, it exploded, sending out thousands and thousands of pounds of garbage were send flying in all different directions. Buildings, parking lots, cars, stop signs...heck, nearly everything in the Tri-State Area was covered up in disgusting, 6 month old garbage. Even Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated was covered in some trash. The smell was so horrific that Perry had to cover up his bill. Doofenshmirtz soon followed by covering his nose.

"Oh, my goodness! That's the foulest stench I've ever smelled! And to think, I thought baby diapers were bad. I was wrong; this is 10,000 times worse!"

Perry, seeing no more need for his services, and not wanting to be consumed by the awful stench, decided to quietly leave the scene and return home.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, the family was having dinner. All of Phineas & Ferb's friends had gone home for their supper. Things were quiet between the two brothers, as neither said a word, not even Phineas.

"You boys are awfully quiet, today." Lawrence pointed out. "Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, sure. Things are fine." Phineas said quickly, desperately trying to get Lawrence to stop talking. Phineas truly wasn't in the mood to talk at the moment. He had not even touched his food.

"Are you sure? You haven't taken a bite out of your food."

"Maybe I'm just not hungry tonight."

"But you're always hungry, Phineas." Linda spoke up, trying to add to the conversation. Phineas looked up from his food and gave his mother an angry glare. She was taken back by this.

"Well, things change, Mom. And you'd be surprised at how quickly things can change."

"What are you going on about, son?" Lawrence asked, getting himself into a situation he probably wouldn't do well in.

"What am I talking about?" Now Phineas was getting upset. He stood up, pushed his chair in, and calmly but angrily walked over to his mother. "I'm talking about the fact that all of a sudden Mom has a change of heart and wants to let our big sister, Candace, come back home. Really, Mom?"

"Well, I-" Linda was surprised at how Phineas was taking the news.

"Mom, did you not see how Candace treated Ferb and I the last time she was here? You saw how she yelled at us! You saw how she made us feel!"

"Of course, I did."

"Then what would possess you to think about even bringing her back? You know she's probably going to treat us badly again, and it's probably going to get worse!"

"If you're so worried about her freaking out on you guys, then stop doing those wacky and unsafe summer projects for a change!" Linda screamed at the top of her lungs. Phineas nearly fell to the ground after hearing her yell like that. She stared him down like she was the devil. "Oh, nothing to say, huh!"

"But...but...we do those kind of things everyday, and we've never gotten hurt."

"But your sister has."

"No, not really."

"Emotionally, I'm talking about, Phineas! And so have I! It's because of you two idiots-"

"Linda!" Lawrence tried to intervene, but Linda would pay no attention to him.

"-that I had to yell at my own daughter, my own flesh n' blood, and tell her that she was crazy. Candace is not crazy! But I certainly am for ever doubting her! She's the best daughter a mother could ever have, and YOU TWO-" She started panting really hard and snarling. Phineas & Ferb were both scared half to death now. "-I could care less what happens to you maggots! When I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you didn't have me as a mother!"

"Linda! That's enough!" Lawrence finally yelled at his wife.

"Oh shut up, Brits!" Linda snarled back at him. Lawrence winced a bit as she turned back to them. She was met with a sad, almost heart-burning glare by Phineas.

"Mom...not you too."

"Oh, shut it, pointy-nose! You're not allowed to speak! In fact, you take your snooty, stuck-up British brother upstairs and stay in your rooms! I don't wanna see your faces for the rest of the night!"

Phineas, heart-broken and totally upset, glared angrily at her while holding back tears. "FINE! Come on, Ferb! We don't have to take this!" He grabbed his brother's arm and ran upstairs into their room. For a few moments, the sounds of Phineas crying could be heard. But Linda was in no mood to deal with it.

"How could you, Linda!" And neither was Lawrence. "How could you degrade your own sons like that!"

"Lawrence, not now! I'm so not in the mood."

The man, angry as heck, stood up and marched over to his wife. "Well, too bad. Linda, didn't you see how upset Phineas got? You were traumatizing him. And he nor Ferb did anything wrong.

"Come on. I wasn't that bad."

Lawrence took out a tape recorder and played back some of Linda's worst moments. "_It's because of you two idiots that I had to yell at my own daughter, my own flesh n' blood, and tell her that she was crazy. Candace is not crazy! But I certainly am for ever doubting her! She's the best daughter a mother could ever have, and YOU TWO...I could care less what happens to you maggots! When I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you didn't have me as a mother!"_

He shut off the tape recorder and looked at his wife. She was just starting to understand what he meant. She didn't look like she was about to go up crying & screaming for forgiveness. But she definitely got the message. "Wow...I sounded like a monster."

"Look, honey, as far as I know, Phineas and Ferb have never sought out to hurt anybody, and they never really thought that what they were doing was wrong or anything. In fact, it really isn't wrong at all. We should be praising them for their accomplishments. I mean, how often do you hear of a 10-year old boy building a roller coaster or making tree house robots."

Linda thought hard on this for a moment. The fact was that Lawrence had a good point. "I suppose you're right. Maybe it was wrong of me to yell at them like that."

"It was very wrong, Linda. Very wrong."

"I better go talk to them." She tried to get up, but Lawrence urged against it.

"I don't think that's the best idea. If Phineas and Ferb are this upset now, imagine how upset they'll be if you try to talk to them."

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

"I suggest we sleep it off tonight and then we'll all talk as a family tomorrow."

"That sounds like a good idea."

But Phineas wasn't up for talking. Up in his room, he lay upright in his bed, in his pajamas, unable to sleep. Not even the comforting breathing of his sleeping pet beside him could calm him down. Ferb was also unable to sleep, but that was only because he was concerned for his stepbrother.

"I can't believe it, Ferb!" Phineas said, trying not to be loud and anger his mother again. "All this time, I thought Mom knew about our summer projects. I thought that when Candace always told her about our daily plans, she listened to her. It's not our fault she didn't listen to her, and now she's yelling at _us_! That's totally unfair!"

"I agree, dear brother. But what do you suppose we do about it?" Ferb asked.

"Well...she said that she didn't care what happened to us. So..."

"You're not actually thinking what I think you're thinking, are you? But that plan could blow up in our faces in a flick of a wrist."

"That's truth. But come on, Ferb. Don't tell me that you weren't hurt by what Mom said and how she said it. That would be a total lie."

Ferb thought about that for a moment. "Well...no. No I don't."

"Then it's settled. Operation: Scatter commences tomorrow morning. But we'll have to wake up way before everybody else. So I'll set the alarm clock to 3:00 tomorrow." And Phineas did so as he and Ferb got comfy in their beds. "I hope this works. I guess we'll know tomorrow. G'night, Ferb." The two stepbrothers crawled under their blankets and let the warm temptation of sleep consume them. Meanwhile, Perry opened his eyes and looked at Phineas, and then Ferb. The platypus knew exactly what they were talking about, and were afraid that they were actually going to go through with it. He shed a tear at the very thought of losing them both, but eventually closed his eyes and went to sleep.

**To Be Continued...**

**End of Episode 18.**

**Aha! A cliffhanger! Well, here's a preview of the next episode!**

**Next Time: Part 2! A terrible discovery puts the bond the Flynn-Fletcher family has in jeopardy. Meanwhile, her admittance into the Advanced Youth Military Training Program hangs on one crucial decision. That, and more of Doofenshmirtz.**

**Expected Update: Look for it around June 25th. If not, then definitely by July 1st. Oh, and the next chapter of "Dark Ages"...I'll try to have that up hopefully in this next week.**


	25. 19: Resolution

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 19: Resolution (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: Part 2 of a new 2-part special event. Phineas and Ferb put their most daring plan into action, and the entire Tri-State Area is put on panic mode. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz unleashes his latest plan, but this time, it could actually destroy the Tri-State Area, and Perry is too distracted to stop it. Plus, Candace makes a daring decision that changes her life forever.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

_

* * *

_

It was pitch black. At 3 in the morning, all you see outside is black. The setting is perfect for sinister and bleak thoughts, especially those that come from a traumatized and very confused grade-schooler.

Phineas was trying to get some much needed rest for a big plan he had in mind. But throughout the night, he was constantly plagued by nightmares; nightmares that detailed one of his worst dreams come true.

_(Cue Dream)_

_Phineas was running down a seemingly endless hallway; a seemingly endless, dark hallway. He desperately tried to escape the scattering voices of his mother._

_"**I could care less about what happens to you maggots!**"_

_Every time he heard Linda say something negative about him or Ferb, Phineas cringed, tear swelled up in his eyes, and his increased his running speed._

_"**Candace is the best daughter a mother could ever ask for!**"_

_The boy was on the brink of tears as images of Linda's face started swirling around him._

_"**When I'm through with you, you're going to wish you didn't have me for a mother!**"_

_The boy kept running until he could run no more, until his tired, weary legs couldn't carry him at fast speeds anymore. Then the swirling images of his angry mother stopped right in front of him. Then they all combined into one really angry & really big face of Linda, one which stared Phineas down like the dog she thought he was. _

_"Why are you doing this to me Mom?" He shouted out. "What did Ferb and I ever do to you?"_

_" **SILENCE, you little mutt!**" The head shouted. "**You and your stepbrother have destroyed this family with your little summer projects! You have broken this bond, and now, you two must pay for what you've done! I want you two to suffer like Candace has suffered, and like I have suffered!"**_

_"But...we didn't mean to-" He was cut off when the floor beneath him seemed to open up. Phineas fell through the floor, and continued to fall for what seemed like forever. Screaming at the top of his lungs, Phineas tried to call for someone to help him, but nobody heard his screams. He continued to fall and fall until..._

_(End Dream)_

_**BAM!**_ Phineas awakened to find that he had fallen out his bed. His screaming in his sleep along with him falling out of bed woke Ferb up. Phineas stood up and and stared at his brother.

"Was I screaming out loud, again?" Phineas asked. Ferb nodded. "Man, another bad dream. I haven't been able to get to sleep at all tonight." The boy looked at his clock. It read 3:07 A.M. "And it's too late now. Come on, Ferb." Ferb got out of bed and the two boys proceeded to get dressed. "If we don't do this now, nothing's going to change." The two stepbrothers got dressed and sneaked out of their room through the window, taking with them a hobo bindle, carrying nothing in their sacks but a set of extra clothes, some leftover Halloween candy, and Ferb's old toolbox. Before joining Ferb out on the curb to wait for the first morning bus, Phineas went quietly across the street to see his girlfriend, Isabella.

He knocked on the window of her bedroom. The girl was enjoying was a peaceful dream of her and Phineas getting married and having children when he knocked on her window and woke her up. She got out of bed and saw Phineas there, so she opened the window up. "Phineas? What are you doing up this early in the morning?"

"Isabella, there's something I have to do, and I'm not sure how long I'll be gone." He said with tears swelling up in his eyes.

"Phineas, what's going on?"

"I don't have time to explain right now. I'll call you later on and tell you everything. But right now, I've got a bus to catch. I love you, Isabella. You have no idea." He leaned in and gave her a short kiss on the lips before parting and meeting back up with Ferb to catch their bus. Isabella started crying as she waved goodbye to the boy she loved so very much.

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was now up, and Linda and Lawrence were downstairs in the kitchen eating breakfast. They had no idea that Phineas & Ferb had just left hours ago.

"Phineas and Ferb are awfully quiet upstairs." Linda said in a much nicer tone that she had used the previous night, though it did sound exhausted. "Do you think they're still mad at me?"

"I don't think so. I'm sure those two know you were just upset. I'll go check on them." Lawrence stood up and went right upstairs to check on his sons. He opened the door quietly so he wouldn't disturb his sons. The only thing he saw when he opened the door was an open window and two empty beds. "OH MY DEAR!" Lawrence shouted upon seeing the sight. Linda got up from the table and slowly walked upstairs, thinking that it was just another freak out, a part of her daily routine.

"Honey, what is it?" But upon seeing what Lawrence saw, she quickly changed her tune, realizing that it was no laughing matter. She gasped in shock at the empty beds. "Oh my god!" Normally, she was assume that Phineas and Ferb were just outside having fun. But with the argument she had with them last night made her think otherwise. "Phineas and Ferb have been kidnapped! We have to call the cops!"

"Honey, wait. There's a note here." Lawrence went up to Phineas's alarm clock and saw a note attached to it. He grabbed it and opened it. "You might want to read this." He handed the note to his wife, who read the note aloud.

"_Dear Mom and Dad, Ferb and I are going off to an undisclosed location. We figured that if we gave Mom enough time to cool down, she wouldn't be so mad at us when we came home. We're sorry that we made you upset, Mom. We never realized that our daily definition of "The Best Day Ever" would make you so angry. All we wanted to do was have fun and enjoy every summer day. But if you can't accept our ways for what they are, then we're gonna go some place where fun is a virtue all the time._

_Love, Phineas._

Linda began crying having finished reading the letter. She didn't mean to hurt her son the way she did the previous night. "I didn't mean to hurt them, Lawrence. You know that."

"I know that, darling. But they don't. And you know how sensitive Phineas is to this kind of stuff."

"I know. Oh I have to fix this, honey. But how?"

"We could start by sending out an Amber Alert to the Tri-State Area to let them know that the boys are missing. Now, what do you suppose they meant when they said "some place where fun is a virtue all the time"?"

"Beats me. We'll have to figure that out later. Let's spread the word."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the military school, all of the girls who had signed up for the "Advanced Youth Military Training Program" were awaiting their results, whether or not they were admitted in or not. Candace was extremely nervous.

"Man, I am extremely nervous, Tara." Told you. "I mean, I think I did well enough on the physical and the eye exam. But the mentality test...I'm not so sure."

"Yeah, that one's probably gonna be your "make or break" test."

"I'm not that worried about it, though. I've made some good progress over the course of these past 3 weeks. I'm sure that therapist thinks of my as a nice, calm, talented young lady ready to take on the military-styled world."

But in Spangler's office, a much different conversation was going down.

"That girl is a whack-job." Dr. Phillips said to Spangler, referring to Candace.

"Dr., with all due respect, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, my first test for her was "patience", and she failed that miserably."

"Understandable."

"Then I gave her the Ink Blot Test, and right when I got to the part where I show her a real picture instead of a blot, she skips right over it, assuming that is was just another ink blot."

"Well, that is cause for concern-"

"And then for my last test, I asked her to give me change for a $5 bill, and what does she do?" He takes out the $5 bill, and reveals that it had been cut...unevenly, for that matter. "She takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the bill into 5 equal pieces. And look, they're not even equal pieces. Seriously!"

Spangler took in all of the information the doctor provided him. But he still refused to believe that Candace was mentally unfit to do something like this. Of all of his cadets, he had the most faith in Candace because he felt she had the longer journey to go onto. "Well, I do admit that there is cause for some concern, but, again with all due respect, I don't think these tests prove much of anything."

"Oh?" Dr. Phillips was preplexed, but was interested in what Spangler thought. "And why is that?"

"Candace Flynn is...a very unique cadet. She is intent on what she calls "busting" her brothers for nefarious and outrageous activities that they perform."

"And have any of these activities been proven?"

"Only everyday of the summer. But, their intentions are not evil or malicious in any sense. But she is truly convinced that all children must behave in a sort of manner she defines as "normal", which is sitting around and watching TV or surfing the web all day or studying."

"And you don't agree with this?"

"It's not that I disagree with it. I disagree with the approach Ms. Flynn has taken with it. It's her attitude and dislike of their ways that have forced her mother to send her to this military school. And-" He was about to continue when one of his assistants came into the room, holding a note in his hand. He handed it nervously to Spangler, whom read it slowly.

"So, what does it say?"

Spangler did not say anything. Instead, he stood up quietly, and left the room to find Candace. He found her waiting patiently (or trying to) in the lobby for her results.

"Candace..." He said quietly, gathering her attention. She stood up quickly.

"Yes sir? What's the news? Did I pass? Do I need to-"

"This doesn't concern the test, Candace." His voice had a hint of compassion and sympathy, something she didn't see in him until now. "I'm afraid I have some bad news." She looked on in confusion, but she could instantly tell that he was serious. "I'm sorry, Candace...your brothers were reported missing early this morning."

Candace's jaw nearly dropped to the ground as Spangler handed her the note. She took it gracefully, but had a hard time holding back the tears in her eyes. The very thought of her two brothers...the two boys that have annoyed her time and time again...were missing...possibly gone forever. The military man offered hands of support to her, but she politely declined, asking for a moment to herself, which he granted. Tara saw that Candace was upset, and she attempted to joke with her to make her feel better. But upon reading the note for herself, she also gave Candace a moment of reflection.

* * *

"Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker, reporting live from Maple Drive, where two local creative minds, Phineas Flynn & Ferb Fletcher, went missing early this morning. They were reported missing by their mother, Linda Flynn, when she discovered that their beds were empty. In an interview with her moments ago, she confessed that she had a brutal argument with lots of name-calling the night before, and she believes that may be a key element to their disappearance. She believes they may have run away from home. For now, a massive search across the Tri-State Area has been launched, and we will bring you all of the up-to-the-minute details in this tragic disappearance case."

Perry let down a tear from his face as the screen switched back to his boss. "I'm sorry for this, Agent P. We here at the agency thought it would be best if you at least knew what was happening." Perry nodded his head, as if he was saying "Thank you." "Now I would send you back home to be with your family, but we've got an urgent mission on our hands."

The scene switched yet again to a satellite in outer space, clamping on it what appeared to be an atomic bomb. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz has done it this time. He has set up an atomic bomb and is planning to drop it on the center of the Tri-State Area. If he is successful, it will turn everything into rubble, and every human, dog, cat, bird, and platypus, will cease to exist. The agency is currently working on a way to protect the Tri-State from this impending doom in the event that we cannot disarm the bomb. But we cannot take that luxury. Good luck, Agent P!"

He saluted his boss and went on his way, but the thought of losing two of his best friends in the whole world was always in the back of my mind.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in the outskirts of the woods, Phineas and Ferb were hiking through difficult terrain. They were close to their destination, which was just a few yards away. After pushing tree branches out of their way and avoiding bear traps that were somehow set up in the forest, they reached their desired destination: Camp Phineas and Ferb.

"Well, here we are, Ferb." Phineas said, looking at the log cabin where his grandfather and grandmother were residing. "Camp Phineas and Ferb."

They went up to the cabin and knocked on the door a few times. "Boy, I wonder how Grandma and Grandpa are gonna be seeing us here." The door creeked open to reveal his grandfather, Clyde Flynn.

"Phineas, my boy! What a nice surprise." He said taking his two grandkids in his arms. "And Ferb, I see you're still the quiet man. So, what brings you here? And where're your parents?"

"Well, actually, that's what we came here for." Grandpa Clyde led the two boys inside the log cabin where they were met up with their grandmother, Betty Jo Flynn, who embraced them both with open arms. After giving them something to eat for breakfast, Phineas proceeded to explain to the two of them what had happened. He told them everything, from Linda finding out about their summer projects to her starting a fight with them all ending with Linda saying she would prefer one "good child" as she described Candace over two "demon children" as she referred to as Phineas and Ferb. The old grandparents were shocked and saddened to hear it had come to this, and then it became clear why the two children were there.

"Phineas, I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you." Clyde said offering a hand of support. "But I don't think running away is the best route to go down in this kind of situation."

"Don't worry, Grandpa. Ferb and I aren't running away for good. We just thought we would give Mom a little bit of time to cool down. I can't talk to her when she's that upset. I mean, you should've heard what she said to us."

"What did she say?"

Ferb took out a tape recorder and played back what their mother had said. "_It's because of you two idiots that I had to yell at my own daughter, my own flesh n' blood, and tell her that she was crazy. Candace is not crazy! But I certainly am for ever doubting her! She's the best daughter a mother could ever have, and YOU TWO...I could care less what happens to you maggots! When I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you didn't have me as a mother!"_ He shut off the recorder. Clyde and Betty Jo exchanged surprised looks at each other. Never in their lives have they heard their daughter talk to anybody like that.

"Oh my stars, this is serious." Betty Jo said as Phineas began to tear up again. "I'm sorry, Phineas."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine with some time." He said as he stood up off of his chair and started walking to the other side of the room. "Excuse me. I need to make a phone call." He took out his cellphone and started dialing up Isabella's cell number so he could explain to her what exactly was going on.

"Boy, I wish I could say I know how you guys feel." Clyde said to Ferb. "I'm sure it must hurt to have someone you look up to very much talk down on you."

"Well, Candace used to do it all the time." Ferb noted.

"Yeah, but she didn't use such a harsh tone with you guys."

"Well, actually..."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Perry shot his grappling hook up the side of the building and latched it onto the balcony, and started climbing it. Slowly but steadily he made his way up the building. He would've been climbing faster had he not been distracted by the thought of Phineas and Ferb missing. They were indubitably his two best friends in the whole world. Phineas picked him out when he was just a baby platypus. He wasn't even a year old. It was one of the best days of his life. He could remember it like it was yesterday...

But then he got up to the balcony and was caught in a trap by Doofenshmirtz. This time around, an indestructible fishing net popped out of nowhere and caught Perry, bringing him. Dr. Doofenshmirtz came out from his lair and discovered the trapped platypus.

"Oh look at that, Perry the Platypus. You're my catch of the day!" He laughed, pointing and mocking Perry. "Get it? 'Cause...'Cause you're in a...fishing net?" Perry did not look amused, but it wasn't because he thought the joke was unfunny. "Uh, Perry the Platypus? Did you even hear me!" The platypus was snapped out of his trance. "Anywho, I am glad you are here. Now you'll be able to see for yourself the destruction of the Tri-State Area! Observe..."

He went back inside and rolled out a TV sccreen, turning it on to show him the satellite up in space that was holding onto the atomic bomb. "You see that atomic bomb attached to the satellite? Well, with the simple push of a button," He pulled out a tiny remote with an even tinier button on it. "It will be dropped and it will plummet towards the Earth. I stole this atomic bomb from the CIA and hooked it up to one of my satellites, which I then launched into space. And more importantly, I have set the coordinates accordingly so the bomb will land right in the center of the Tri-State Area! Upon impact, it will explode covering the entire surface area of the Tri-State, turning every building, every plant, and every human that is unprotected, into rubble. And that includes YOU, Perry the Platypus!" Perry's eyes widened.

"_I_, however, will be safe. Because I have built a special-" He ripped off his clothes and reveal a silver, titanium suit that covered his entire body. He also took out a helmet and put it on his head. "-Titanium suit that is virtually indestructible to any atomic blasts. And with the explosion that atomic bomb will cause, I'm going to need all the help I can get."

"What about me, sir?" Norm, his robot assistant, asked, coming onto the balcony.

"What _about_ you?"

"What's going to happen to me? Am I going to be destroyed?"

"Um...right now, you would be. But don't worry, Norm. I'll get to work on a titanium suit for you, too."

"Yeah right." Norm said, sarcastically, which got Perry laughing.

"What's that supposed to mean? And stop laughing, Perry the Platypus! This isn't funny."

"You're right. It's just sad." Norm interrupted him. "Every time you say you'll finish something, you leave it half done and you never get back to it. Remember that Jigsaw puzzle?"

"I lost the box cover!"

"Or what about my Popsicle stick bride? You never finished her!"

"My doctor warned me not to eat anymore Popsicles."

"Or what about this dress-" Norm held out a pink frilly dress that Dr. Doofenshmirtz had been making for Vanessa for a few weeks. It was too short for her to wear, though, as the scientist had not finished it yet. "You were knitting for your daughter? She can't wear this to school!"

"It's summer vacation, you idiot. And besides, I ran out of yarn. You know that."

"That was over two months ago."

Again, Perry let out a chuckle.

"Stay out of this, Perry the Platypus!" The scientist yelled to his nemesis. "This doesn't concern you!"

* * *

Back in Danville, the search was still going strong. The police were everywhere, searching high and low, far and wide for Phineas and Ferb. But they were unable to find anything on them. Linda and Lawrence, along with the rest of their friends, were starting to get worried, even though they were only supposed to pretend. Even Isabella, who was the only one of their friends let in on the plan, who subsequently let the others in on the plan, was starting to grow concerned.

The news was all over their disappearance. "It is now hour 2 in the desperate search for young boys Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher. Hope for finding them is diminishing rather quickly. The search is now desperate as it is taken by land, by air, and now even by sea as rescue workers go into Lake Nosey to find these boys."

At the home, the family and friends all waited by the phone for someone to call them.

"Oh the wait is unbearable." Linda said, shaking in her shoes. "What if they don't find Phineas and Ferb."

"I'm sure they will, darling. The CIA's on our side, now. They'll surely find them."

"You know, I just thought of something. How is Candace going to handle the fact that her own two brothers are missing? Does she even know?"

"I think she'd know by now. And if not, someone's bound to tell her sooner or later."

"Poor girl. As bad as she must've been feeling before, this is gonna make her feel 10 times worse..."

* * *

Candace was sulking in her room, reading the note that Phineas and Ferb had left for their parents to read. It had been delivered from the home to the military school, and it was given to Spangler, who then gave it to Candace. She was truly heartbroken. All those times she had teased them and yelled at them were finally coming back to haunt her.

She was about to start crying again when she heard a bus horn outside. She looked out of the window and saw that a small bus was parking up next to the school. She rushed out of her room to see what the commotion was. Then she saw a girl about her age being transported from the school to the bus by Spanlger. She ran out to see what the commotion was.

"Sir, what's going on out here?" She asked politely.

"Not that it's any of your concern, Ms. Flynn, but I caught this girl defacing my family photos. Heck, she destroyed half of them. So I have officially kicked her out of my military school and sending her back to Danville."

"But you can't just...wait, Danville?"

"Yes. Danville. The place where she comes from."

Candace realized straight away that whoever this person was, she was going right back to the scene of Phineas and Ferb's disappearance. Then a thought popped into her head. _This is my chance_. Candace thought to herself. _This is my chance to right the wrongs that I've caused. I just have to get a ride on this bus._ "Got room for one more?" She shouted out and began to climb onto the bus, to Spangler's disdain...or was it?

"Ms. Flynn! What in heaven's name do you think you're doing!"

Candace turned around, and glared at Spangler. But it wasn't a harsh or cruel glare. It was a glare more like "I'm going to do something I need to do, and nobody is going to stop me." "I'm going to find my brothers." She got into the back seat on the bus, completely tuning out Spangler's heed to get off the bus. After the other girl took her seat, the doors closed and the bus took off for Danville.

Even though Spangler was yelling on the outside at her, on the inside, he was thinking something totally different. _I knew you could do it, Candace. I knew it all along._

_

* * *

_Back in the woods, Phineas and Ferb were enjoying themselves with Grandpa and Grandma Flynn. Having been hurt and stressed the previous night, it was nice to just sit back and relax and hang out with their grandparents. It had been a long time since Phineas and Ferb have actually taken a day to do absolutely nothing. Isabella was constantly egging Phineas to take a lazy day because she was worried about his health and concerned that one day, he would push the envelope and end up in a hospital, but he was always stubborn about it.

"Ah, this is nice." Phineas said, lying down on the floor and relaxing. "Right, Ferb?" He looked over to his left at his stepbrother, who gave him a thumbs up. "Yeah. Isabella was right. This "relaxing" thing isn't as bad as it sounds. I don't know why she's so worried about me."

"Because she loves you 'til death do you part." Ferb commented. "Don't you understand that?"

"Of course I do. I love her like crazy. I want to get back to her as soon as possible. That's why I want this to end as soon as possible. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore..." He looked up at the ceiling again and thought back to one of the worst memories of his life: about a week an a half ago, when Candace came back home and started snapping away at people. That's when Phineas snapped back. Ever since then, he's hated himself for it. "Especially Candace. Ferb, do you think I was too hard on Candace the last time we saw her?"

"I don't think so. You were upset, and it was perfectly understandable. I mean, you believed at the time that the one person you truly looked up to could care less about you. You are entitled to your feelings, you know."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean to make her think I didn't care about her. Now I feel like such a jerk. I wish I could make it right with her."

* * *

Phineas's wish would soon come true. It didn't take long for the bus to arrive in Danville. During the bus ride to Danville, Candace had time to read over the note several times, and think about what Phineas was saying. She knew that there was one place that Phineas always loved to go to, one place where he knew he could always have fun no matter what was happening, and it finally hit her when she passed an elderly couple telling stories to young children in a front lawn.

As soon as the bus arrived in Danville, she rushed off and raced back to her home. Upon reaching her home, she saw all the news crews and the police officers inside the home. She knew that the search was getting desperate. So she sprinted inside to see her family.

"Mom! Dad! Everyone! I know where Phineas and Ferb are!" She shouted, immediately getting their attention.

"Candace, what are you doing back here!" Linda, immediately skeptical, asked, walking up to her daughter and putting her hands on her hips.

"Mom, didn't you hear me?"

"Yes, but first, I wanted to tell you something."

"I think it can wait. Unless you didn't catch me the first time, I KNOW where Phineas and Ferb are!"

"It's something I've been meaning to say to you for a while now."

"Mom-"

"I'm just not sure how to put it."

"Mom!"

"Honey, stop interrupting me."

"MOM!" Candace shouted, shutting Linda up. "Can you be quiet for like ten seconds! I have something important to say!"

"Fine, but with that lousy attitude of yours, it better be quick."

"I KNOW WHERE PHINEAS AND FERB ARE, YOU IDIOT!"

This time, Linda heard her loud and clear, as did everybody else.

"You do? Where? Where?" Isabella immediately asked. But Linda was so dense she was focused on the fact that Candace had just called her an idiot.

"Now hold on a minute. You don't talk to me that wa-" She began talking, and very slowly, just to make Candace angry, and was quickly interrupted by Lawrence, who covered her mouth up with her hand.

"They're at Grandma and Grandpa's log cabin in the woods."

"Honey, are you sure?" Lawrence asked.

"In his letter, Phineas said he was going to a place where "fun was a virtue all the time", and what's the one place Phineas and Ferb look forward to every summer?"

"Camp Phineas and Ferb!" Everybody said simultaneously.

"Well, what are we doing here?" Buford asked. "Let's go get them!" And with that, they all ran up to the Flynn-Fletcher's RV, along with some CIA agents, piled in, and drove off to the woods to get their golden boys back.

* * *

Over at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, things were heating up between Norm and Doofenshmirtz.

"And another thing, if your dictator skills were half as big as your giant ego, you would've been overlord of this place by now!" Norm fired at the scientist, angering him even more.

"Oh, so you don't think I can succeed at ruling the world, can you?"

"Please! You can't even rule the Tri-State Area!"

"I'll show you, Norm! I'll show everybody who is boss around here!" Doofenshmirtz pulled out his remote, and pressed the button on it, thus dropping the atomic bomb from the satellite. "And now, in just a few moments, the entire Tri-State Area will be disintegrated, and I, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, will be free to rebuild it in my own...twisted...hey, where did Perry the Platypus go?" He looked over and saw that his nemesis had escaped from his fishing net by cutting a hole with a power saw through the netting. "Oh, I hate it when Perry the Platypus escapes my traps when I'm not paying attention. That's not only annoying, it's just plain rude, too! Where did he go, anyway?"

He was met with an unfortunate twist of fate as Perry came out of nowhere and kicked the daylight out of him in his face. He fell to the ground (mostly due to the enormous weight of the suit he was wearing) and was stared down by his enemy.

"This suit may not be efficient in keeping me up against you, Perry the Platypus. But it matters not. When the bomb hits the ground, **BAM!** No more Tri-State Area. This plan cannot possibly fail! And there's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Perry, determined to prove Doofenshmirtz wrong, rushed inside to the computer, and started typing in random sequences, in the hopes of overriding the command. The scientist cackled triumphantly at Perry's pitiful attempts. "Type in whatever you want, Perry the Platypus. It's no use. Once the bomb has been activated, there's no way to stop it from going off. It is over, Perry the Platypus. So now, all you can do is sit back and wait for your utter death."

He didn't want to admit it, but Doofenshmirtz was right. So Perry backed away from the computer slowly, and sat down, that being his way of surrender.

"That's a good platypus. Now, it shouldn't be too long before you're all doomed, but...considering the bomb's over a million feet in the air...and it's only dropping at like 50,000 feet per minute...hmm, it appears that it's going to take a bit longer for your destruction to come than I first expected...uh, while we wait, can I offer you a spot of tea? Oh great, listen to me. Spot of tea. I'm turning into my brother."

* * *

The car sped right up the hill and parked itself in the open space next to the log cabin of Camp Phineas and Ferb. Everyone immediately sprinted out of the car and towards the front door; Candace knew that the boys were close.

"Candace, are you absolutely sure that Phineas and Ferb are here?" Linda asked.

"I'm positive, mother. If I know Phineas and Ferb as well as I think I do, they should be around here somewhere. Hang on." She heard some voices coming from inside the log cabin, and could immediately tell that it was Phineas talking with Grandpa Clyde. "I hear them. They're inside." She proceeded to calmly knock on the door, and wait for an answer. Upon knocking, she heard the voices stop in the log cabin, and could hear footsteps headed towards the door. Grandma Betty Jo answered the door, and her face told them that she was quite surprised to see them all there.

"Oh, hello everyone." She said, with a hint of hesitation in her voice. "I didn't expect to see you all here."

"Hi Mom." Linda said calmly; it was evident to her that Betty Jo was already informed by Phineas and Ferb by what had happened. Along the car ride there, Lawrence told Candace about the fight that had occurred the night before, and was now even more angry at her mom than ever. "Are Phineas and Ferb here?"

"Well yes, yes they are, but are you sure you want to talk to them? Are you sure you're-"

"I'm fine, Mom. At least now I am." Her voice slowly became more enraged. "Now where are those two boys?"

"Now I'm not so sure I like your tone-"

"Where are my sons, Mom! This is no time for your useless head games!"

"OK, OK, they're right in here." She was abrasive about leading her daughter to her boys, considering the fight they had, and considering the level of impatience Linda just demonstrated to her. Phineas and Ferb were both also abrasive about that upon seeing their family & friends there. "Boys, your family is here."

Phineas looked right at her mother, and his mind automatically switched to survival mode, ducking behind his grandfather. "H-H-Hi M-Mom." He stuttered, almost crying again.

"Phineas, I'm not mad at you." Linda said calmly, trying to inch her way up to her son.

"How can I be sure?"

"You don't have to hug me yet if you don't want to. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for making you and Ferb so upset." Linda said, following a loud and long yawn. Ever since she found out that Candace was right all along, she has had a hard time sleeping at night. Three nights of horrible, restless sleep, all agonizing over what to do with her daughter; she knew that her yelling and screaming at them the night before was partly attributed to her sleep deprivation. "I just...I feel really bad about it. Ever since I found out about you and Ferb, I haven't been able to sleep that well. Now it's just impossible knowing that I've hurt you."

"It's true. She actually fell asleep on the ride here." Lawrence said, taking some ear plugs he had out of his ears. "I had to wear these to save my hearing."

"Boys, what I'm trying to say here is...I'm sorry."

The boy, seeing that his mother was genuinely sorry, slowly inched away from Grandpa and towards his mother. But he was still hesitant. Candace realized that this might be her only chance to make things right with her brothers. So she walked calmly up to Phineas, and brought Ferb up into the picture too.

"She's not the only one who's hurt you guys." She started, finding it really hard to apologize, but not because she didn't want to. She just had a hard time finding the right words. "I'm sorry, too. I really am. What I said to you the last time we saw each other...it wasn't right of me to do it."

"Candace, can I ask you something?" Phineas inquired.

"Sure, Phineas. What's the matter?"

"Why did you feel that you had to get Ferb and I in trouble in the first place? I mean, all we were doing was having fun and enjoying summer. I-If we were doing something bad, like breaking furniture or writing on the walls, I could understand that. But we never really thought that what we were doing was bad at all."

"That's the thing, Phineas. It's not bad at all. What you do everyday...the fact that you can actually build a working time machine or a vehicle that can ride on all kinds of terrain (**The Secret of Success, hasn't been aired in the US yet**) is just amazing. Creativity is not a bad thing. It's a good thing. You guys just have a different way of expressing it."

"Y-You really think that, Candace? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"I really mean it. Y-You two can do anything, and even though I was always driven to bust you guys to Mom for it, it's secretly because I was always jealous of you."

"Jealous?"

"Not everybody can build a rocket ship to space, you know. Look, the truth is, everyday I've wanted to just join in and help you guys enjoy summer the best way you know how, but my jealousy of you always got the better of me, and I just always had to tell on you to Mom, but every single time, she thought I had lost my marbles-"

"I only thought you were marbles because-" Once again, Linda demonstrated her rude and cranky attitude by interrupting Candace.

"Mom, please! I'm talking to my brothers." She ignored her Mom and turned back to her brothers, and she immediately saw that Phineas was starting to cry. "Phineas, what's the matter?"

"Candace, I'm sorry for saying that I hated you!" He shouted, embracing her sister and letting tears flow down his face. The guilt was killing him. "I don't hate you at all! I always looked up to you, and I still do! But if you want to hate me, you can! All I ask is that you please forgive me." He let out a few cries as Candace patted his back to calm him down.

"It's OK, Phineas. Shh, please stop crying. I hate seeing you like this." Seeing his own brother cry made her tear up as well. Ferb soon joined in on the hug.

"I love you, Candace. Y-You know that, right? Even if you hate me."

"I don't hate you, Phineas. I love you too. And you too, Ferb. I love both of you guys."

Seeing the three of them finally make amends made everyone around them, even the sleep-deprived Linda, smile. Finally, things were OK between them.

"Now that's what I want to see." Lawrence remarked. "My three children being happy with themselves and with each other.

"It was really great to see you again, Candace."

"Same here, little brother."

Soon there was a slow and rather ominous clapping that was coming from the door. They all turned around to see that it was Commandant Edwin Spangler standing there, applauding Candace for her achievement.

"Sir!" She shouted, standing up and saluting him. "What brings you here, sir?"

"At ease, cadet." She lowered her hand slowly.

"Sir, what are you doing here?"

"I came back to get you and bring you back to the school, and I was...rather surprised at what I saw. Surprised, but proud."

"Huh?"

"Candace," He walked up to the girl. "When you first walked into my school, I saw a girl who was confused, alone, with an edge that proved to be not only your greatest weakness, but your greatest downfall as well. But over the course of this past month, you have shown immense progress in your goal to stop the urge to "bust your brothers". You've gone from a crazy, uptight, arrogant teenager who thought she was better than everybody else to a focused, determined young lady who would make a great asset to this country."

"Wow, thank you sir. Wait...so does this mean..."

"Yes."

"But I thought I had failed the mentality test..."

"Originally, you had failed. But, in light of these recent events, and the focus and determined you showed for wanting to reconcile with your family, what kind of man would I be to not let you through?"

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Candace Flynn, you have passed all of your tests. You are now a part of the "Advanced Youth Military Training Program". Congratulations." He held out his hand for her to shake, which she did gladly.

"Oh, thank you, sir! Thank you!" After shaking his hand, she couldn't help but be jittery with excitement. "Yes! I'm in!"

But Linda, seeing that Candace had finally learned her lesson, went up to him to try and speak for her. "Sorry, Eddie."

"It's Edwin." He hated it when people he didn't know or just didn't really like called him "Eddie".

"Whatever. Seeing that Candace has learned her lesson, I see no more need to keep her under your wing. I'm taking Candace home tonight." She grabbed Candace's arm only to have her pull it away. "Candace, what are you doing? Didn't you hear me? I said you could come home."

"Who do you think you are?" Candace immediately asked. "What gives you the right to just decide that I'm not doing this program?"

"Candace, the only reason I put you there in the first place was because I thought you were crazy."

"And now that you've been proven wrong, I don't think you have the right to decide my future."

"But why would you want to serve our country. Face it, Candace. It sucks!"

Everybody gasped at what Linda had just said. But Candace wasn't really paying attention. She didn't care at all at what her mother said. "Mom, when I first got to the school, all I thought about was getting out and getting revenge on Phineas and Ferb. But now that I'm here, I finally realize that there's really no point in getting revenge on them now because they're not doing anything that really needs revenge. They're just having the time of their lives and that's what I should be doing."

"And you honestly think this program will help you do that?"

"Yes. Yes I do. Face it, I'm always going to have the urge to bust Phineas and Ferb because I'm always going to be a little bit jealous that they can do this kind of stuff and I can't. But I think this program will be key in helping me rid myself of that urge."

"Candace, I'm sorry, but I forbid it."

"Mom, I'm sorry, but I really, really don't care what you think. I'm doing this program, and nothing you or anybody else says will stop me."

"Well, if you really are serious about this program, then you have my full support." Lawrence said.

"Me too!" Phineas agreed, and pretty soon, everybody but Linda was on her side.

"Thanks guys." She turned back to Spangler. "So, when do we leave, sir?"

"We're leaving in a few minutes. I'll take you back to the school so you can board the bus that takes the other volunteers to the airport where we'll fly out to your new training headquarters. So if you would like to say goodbye to your family, now would be a good time to do it."

"How long will we be gone for?"

"I don't really know."

Candace sighed and turned back to her family, going up to each and every one of them, and hugging them goodbye. They were all truly going to miss her, but they all seemed to feel that this was the best for her right now because it would really help her out. Before she left with Spangler, she sat down with her Mom on the big couch that was convenient located in the cabin (which Grandpa Clyde and Grandma Betty Jo had apparently won at an auction earlier in the year). It was so comfortable that Linda just wanted to use it to take a nap, but she knew that Candace wouldn't be happy with it.

"Mom, I know what you're thinking. I know you don't want me to just run off and join this program because you're worried about me. But you've got to trust me and let me make my own decisions. You also have to understand that I'm only doing this just to spite you."

"But I thought we were all OK."

"No. Phineas, Ferb, and I were OK. I still have a bit of a problem with you."

"Why?" Linda was getting a bit edgy as she yawned again.

"Mom, I haven't forgotten about the times you've called me insane when clearly I was always right about them. I haven't forgotten about the times you've yelled at me for getting upset at them just because I'm trying to prove to you that I'm right."

"Oh."

"So I'll tell you what: If you apologize to me right now for never believing me about Phineas & Ferb, and for always thinking that I was crazy, then I won't go with Spangler."

"S-Seriously?"

"Seriously. So what's it gonna be, Mom?"

Linda thought about it for a second. For one thing, she really just wanted to take a nap. Those restless nights were finally getting to her. But she also knew that she owed Candace for all those times she didn't believe her and Candace suffered for no reason. "OK, Candace. Here goes." She took in a deep breath, and looked her daughter straight in the eye. "Candace, I'm...sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Now I understand that everything you've said about them is true. But...my god, those boys, they're practically prodigies. I can't possibly punish them for it."

"I'm not asking you to."

"You know, I would really like for you to come home. But...you say you still have the urge to bust them?"

"I guess it's all out of jealousy."

"Well, Candace, to be honest, I don't exactly feel comfortable letting you back in the house with your "bust urge" still there. So...if you truly believe this program will help you get rid of it for good, then I'll support you 100%."

"Really, Mom?"

"Really. Now go out there and make us proud."

"I will, Mom!" The two embraced warmly before Spangler coughed up, alerting Candace that it was time for them to leave. She said her final goodbyes to her family and then left with Spangler, off to begin the next chapter of her journey.

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Norm, and Perry were all awaiting for the inevitable. "In just a few more minutes, the entire Tri-State Area will be a pile of rubble and I will be able to build it back up in my own...twister...image! Ha ha ha!"

But one of them, Norm, was not focused on the plan at hand. He was listening to his built in radio as a new cast was coming in.

"Breaking news on the desperate search for two young Danville boys. They have been found. I repeat. They have been found." Diane Simmons was heard saying on the other end. "They were stowing away at their grandparents' cabin in the woods, but they are safe and headed back to Danville now."

"Norm, shut that thing off!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

"I can't. This is such a happy story! They found those two lost boys." Norm retaliated, loving happy endings. Perry, overhearing this, smiled, knowing that Phineas and Ferb were once again safe.

"Ugh, who cares, Norm! It doesn't matter! So they found two obnoxious boys!" Suddenly, Perry's expression turned to shock and then to anger. "It won't make a difference. They, along with everyone in the Tri-State Area will feel the wrath of my atomic bomb!" Perry became angrier and angrier the more hateful things the scientist said about Phineas and Ferb. "I bet those two boys were trouble-making, ungrateful little pests, and I bet their mother kicked them out of the house for disobeying her one too many times. I would've done that, too, if I was their father. Isn't that right, Perry the Platypus?" He looked over at his nemesis, who, by now, was boiling over with rage. "Perry the Platypus? Are you OK? That's a whole new shade of red for you."

Finally, Perry just lost it, and tackled Doofenshmirtz to the ground. Suddenly, it was as if Perry was overtaken by the Incredible Hulk. With massive strength, he actually managed to rip the titanium suit off of him, and then go for him. He smashed every part of his body, and by the time he was done, Doofenshmirtz had a few bruised bones, and looked like he had been crippled by a car accident. After he was done with him, Perry marched up to Norm.

Knowing immediately what Perry wanted, he pulled out a small box with a button on it. This was the button that would shut off the atomic bomb. Perry pressed it, shutting it off, and then made his way to the balcony. Doofenshmirtz, though, wasn't finished with him, as he struggled to stand up.

"Hey, hey, Perry the Platypus! Come back! We're not finished here yet. Why did you - Perry the Platypus! Did you just-" And with that, Perry took off on his hang glider, heading back home to await the return of his family. "Norm, did you see that!"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"I can't believe it. You know, it's one thing to foil my plan but it's another to rub in my face! I can't believe Perry the Platypus just flipped my off! Man, what did I say?"

**End of Episode 19!**

**UGH! I am so UPSET right now! I just found out that I had failed my Geometry Regents! Luckily, I passed the class for the year, so if I pass the re-take I have to take in August, I'll be fine. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode. And don't worry, the next chapter of "Dark Ages" is just around the corner. I promise!**

**Next Time: Another 2-part special event begins! It's the biggest event for the Fireside Girls of the summer, and everyone in the neighborhood is gonna be rocked by it. I can't give away much, but much shipping awaits!**

**Expected Update: Sometime in the first week of July. Latest July 8th.**


	26. 20: Kids Only

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 20: Kids Only (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: Part 1 of a new 2-part special event I'm entitling "Danville Dance Party". It's that time of the year again: Time for the annual Fireside Girls Theme Choice Party, and this year's theme: a dance. Hoping to spread some of his love for Isabella to his friends, Phineas devises up ways to hook their friends up with each other for the big dance. Meanwhile, Buford sets up a ban against adults (deemed anyone over the age of 13). Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, lonely and desperate, makes a plan to ask out Charlene, his ex-wife.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

Candace Flynn boarded her plane, and took her seat next to a window. This was the first step to the rest of her journey as a military cadet, a journey she was sure would help rid her of her urge to "bust". Her friend, Tara, took a seat next to her.

"Isn't this great, Candace?" Tara asked her, excited as ever. "We're going to be training together."

"I know. 3 weeks ago, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with this. But now, I can't wait for this plane to take off." Candace said, jittery from excitement. "By the way, where did Spangler say we were going?" Tara shrugged her shoulders, unsure herself. Just then, the pilot spike over the loud speaker.

"Good evening, passengers." The pilot said. "Thank you for your patience. Our engine difficulties have been solved and our 16 1/2 hour flight to Iraq will begin shortly."

Candace's eyes opened widely. She knew what was happening in Iraq at the moment, and the last thing she wanted was to get in the middle of something that shouldn't even be happening. So she did the one thing she knew how to do well: scream. "AAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

_**The next day...**_

It was early and bright outside, but a Fireside Girls meeting in the Fireside Girls lodge was already underway. "I officially call this meeting of the Fireside Girls to order!" Isabella, their leader, said as she banged a (plastic) gavel. "So, any new business to bring up?"

"Actually, Isabella, there is." The founder of the Fireside Girls, Eliza M. Feyerseid, said, giving Isabella a calender with the day circled in ink (July 14th). "It's that time of the year again."

"What time of year, Ms. Feyerseid?"

"Time for the annual Fireside Girls Theme Choice Party. You know, to mark the anniversary of the founding of the Fireside Girls."

"Ohhhhh." All of the girls said simultaneously.

"SO what are we going to do this year, Ms. Feyerseid?"

"It's your choice, girls? What do you want to do?"

The girls thought long and hard on it, and eventually, they all came up with the same idea. "A dance!" They all shouted at the same time. "Yeah, a dance!" Isabella continued. "We could use this building as the setting for our dance. We could set up a disco, serve refreshments, hire entertainment...ooh, we can even invite boys!"

"Yay boys!" The other girls shouted.

"Then it's settled! Tomorrow, this lodge will be the location of the hottest pre-teen dance of the year."

"Wait, isn't this place a little bit too small for a party?" Adyson inquired.

"You have a point, Adyson. But where can we hold this party? There aren't that many places that would just been willing to open up and reserve a place for one night to hold a dance."

"Ooh, ooh! I know! I know!" Isabella called out. "How about Danville Elementary? I'm sure their gym is big enough."

"Excellent idea! Then it's settled. Tomorrow, Danville Elementary is going to be the sight of the hottest pre-teen event of the year! Now get going, girls. Time's a wastin'!"

The girls were all dismissed to start planning their dance party. Isabella was the last one to leave of the girls, and was greeted with a fortunate surprise in the bushes.

"Boo!" Phineas popped out from behind the bushes and surprised Isabella. She screamed, but upon seeing her best friend & future husband, she started laughing. "Gotcha!"

"Phineas, you scared me!" She said, jokingly. She stared edging closer to Phineas, which began to frighten him.

"No, no Isabella. Please. I-I gotta stay behind this bush. Y-You don't understand!" She didn't listen to a word he said, and tackled him to the ground. But as soon as she did so, and pinned him to the ground, she got the message as to why Phineas didn't want her to see beyond the bush.

"Oh...Phineas, you're half naked." She immediately noticed that his shorts & underwear were missing.

"Yeah. Buford de-pantsed me in my front yard today. He got everybody today. Me, Ferb, Baljeet, Django, even Irving. I wonder what's gotten into him."

"I wish I knew..." Isabella said a bit sarcastically. Truth was, she did know way, as she quickly thought back to a past memory.

_(Cue Flashback)_

_Isabella and Buford were in a dark alley, apparently in negotiation of something Let's listen in..._

_"So let me get this straight." Buford said to the girl. "You're willing to pay me 40 bucks just so I'd pull down Dinner Bell's pants?"_

_"That's right. But not just his shorts. His underwear, too. A-And I don't want him to get any ideas, so you've gotta make it look convincing."_

_"You mean **all** of the boys? Even that nerd, Irving?"_

_"Hey, otherwise Phineas might get wise and figure out that I had something to do with this. He might be clueless when it comes to love, but he's not stupid."_

_"I'll do all the other boys for an extra 10 bucks."_

_"Deal."_

_(End Flashback)_

Isabella giggled, knowing that Buford had actually managed to help her out for once. "What's so funny?" Phineas asked his girlfriend.

"Oh. Uh, nothing! Nothing."

"You just love seeing me naked, don't you?"

"Well, it _is_ rather refreshing." Phineas began to blush, though it wasn't because he was totally embarrassed. "And not totally naked. Just half naked...as in your lower half, more specifically your lower back..." She looked at him and realized that he was blushing, and assumed that he was getting embarrassed again. But she didn't care. She got right to the point. "You have a cute butt." She said casually as she went to lightly tap it.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Phineas tried to cover it up so she wouldn't be tempted again. "So..." Suddenly, Isabella started feeling embarrassed, so he tried to change the subject. "What was going own during your meeting today?"

"Well the anniversary of the founding of the Fireside Girls is coming up, and to celebrate, the Fireside Girls are going to prepare a dance for the occasion."

"Hey, that sounds like fun. Can Ferb and I help?"

"Sure."

"Great. As soon as we get home, we can start preparations for the party. Now...how am I gonna get back home without anybody seeing me?"

"Don't worry. I'm always prepared." Isabella pulled out a towel she was conveniently carrying and wrapped it around Phineas's waist.

"Cool. Now nobody can make fun of me. Not even you, Isabella!"

"Phineas, we've been over this. When I make comments about your butt, I'm complimenting you. There's nothing about it that I could possibly insult."

"Whatever. Let's just go home. This is an important night for the Fireside Girls after all."

* * *

When they arrived home, they gathered all of the Fireside Girls along with Ferb and the rest of their friends into the backyard to begin preparations for the dance. "OK, gang. We have two days to prepare the most awesome, most amazing dance that has ever been thrown for anybody in the history of forever." Phineas boldly told his friends. "Now, what does a dance need?"

"Music!" Isabella called out.

"Right. What else?"

"Refreshments." Irving added to the list.

"And...?"

"A well-orchestrated music group to entertain the masses." Ferb also added.

"Yes, but you guys are missing the one key ingredient to a perfect dance." The kids continued to think long and hard. What was the perfect ingredient to a dance? Finally, Phineas spared their anxiety. "A date, guys! Come on!"

The friends looked up at him, confused. "A date?" Django asked. "Why a date?"

"Guys, look. When we get into our Senior Year in school, we're all gonna have to attend the Senior Prom, which is just a fancy way of saying "dance". We might as well get some practice in now, right?"

"But why do we need dates?" Katie asked.

"Well, don't you guys want to feel all warm and happy inside when you're standing next to the boy or girl that you're gonna marry in the futures, just like Isabella and I?" Phineas asked them all as he reached out and hugged his future wife tightly and kissed her right cheek.

"Ugh, that is so gross!" Buford commented.

"Oh come on, Buford. Haven't you ever had that urge to just hug a girl?"

"No. And I never will. Girls are gross and icky! I'm outta here!" He stood up angrily and stormed back home.

"I agree. Girls are icky!" Baljeet agreed as Ginger scowled in his direction. Phineas and Isabella both shook their heads.

"It's a shame. People like Baljeet and Buford will never find love." Isabella commented. "Anyway, we need to get the school set up for the dance by tomorrow. The first thing we have to do is get permission from Principal MacKenzie."

"Done. And in written consent, too." Holly said holding up a note that was signed by the principal, stating that the kids had his full permission to use the school's gym for their Fireside Girls dance.

"Well, Holly, it looks like you've just earned your "Getting Ahead of Yourself" patch." Isabella threw her the patch, as she put it on her sash with pride. "OK, so that's Phase 1. Now Phase 2 is to start getting the party set up."

"What are your orders, chief?" Gretchen asked.

"Well, we need refreshments, entertainment, disco balls, lights, and..."

"Chaperons. We need adults to watch over us at the dance." Phineas added.

"Oh, that's true. I forgot about that. We could get some of our moms to help us."

"That's a great idea. Alright, guys. This is gonna be a daunting task, I know. But if we pull this off, we'll all go down as the Danville Party Masters of Danville!"

"Um, you said Danville twice." Irving pointed out.

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Now I want Irving, Baljeet, Django, Gretchen, Milly, and Katie to go to the school and start fixing up the place for the big event. Ginger, Adyson, Buford, and Holly, you guys go spread the word about the dance to everybody in in the Tri-State!"

"Yes sir!" Ginger, Adyson, and Holly all yelled.

"Phineas, Ferb, and I will work on the little stuff. Like the entertainment, refreshments, lights, and-"

"Actually, Isabella, would you and Ferb handle that?" Phineas asked politely. "There's something else I need to do for the dance and there's a lot of work involved."

"Oh. Well then would you like some help?"

"No, no. It's fine. It's best that I do this one on my own."

"Um...OK." Phineas had never asked to do a project on his own, so this requested definitely surprised Isabella. But, he seemed like he knew what he was doing, so Isabella didn't question him. "We'll all meet up in the backyard about 5 o'clock this afternoon to check our progress. Any questions."

"Yeah. Just one." Phineas said, having looked around and noticed that something was missing. "Where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was inside, watching TV on the couch. Linda and Lawrence were in the kitchen cleaning up and were too focused on it to worry about what was happening next.

The TV channel switched from "The Today Show" to Major Monogram on the screen. "Agent P," Perry put on his fedora and paid close attention to him. "It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's been spotted going into flower shops buying flowers, and chocolate boxes shops to buy boxes of chocolate. Who knows what kind of chaotic scheme he has planned this time." Perry rolled his eyes. "So get out there and see what he's up to."

Perry really didn't think that there was anything wrong with flowers and chocolate, but he knew he had to obey his boss. So he saluted, and ran right out the door. The TV switched back to the show as Linda & Lawrence came into the room and continued watching it.

Perry flew up into the skies on his jet pack and took out binoculars to get a better chance of looking for his nemesis. Monogram said that he was already spotted buying flowers & chocolate, so Perry thought that he would have the best chance of finding him in a store that sells chocolate and/or flowers. So he decided to try the mall. Turns out that it was a perfect guess, as Doofenshmirtz was coming out of yet another store, this time a jewelery store.

He hid behind a nearby plant that was close to Doofenshmirtz to get a closer look. "She's gonna love it!" Was all Perry could hear his nemesis say. He still wasn't understanding what was going on, so he followed him (secretly, of course) back to his scooter, where he drove back to his lair, went up to his floor, and put his supplies down on a table. It was at this moment that Perry decided to burst in and interrupted whatever he was doing. Seriously, what was he doing?

"Perry the Platypus! Oh, come on! Why do you have to break my wall up?" Doofenshmirtz yelled, frustrated that Perry would break through his wall when he wasn't really up to anything evil. "I'm not up to anything evil today. I swear." He sighed, and walked over into his room, and came back out with a wedding photo of him and Charlene. "But if you must know, tomorrow is mine and Charlene's wedding anniversary." He handed Perry the picture of him to look at. "Or, at least it would be...if we were still married."

He went to sit down in a chair as Perry joined him. "Oh, love is fickle, isn't it, Perry the Platypus? Today would've been our 18th anniversary. It was a very long time ago. I met her at a music store. I was looking through some albums to give to my father. You know, because once times hit modern, he became a really big fan. So I was hoping to get him a present he would surely like. And then, I ran into her. We bumped into each other when we both grabbed for the same Love Handel album. And then we got into talking and as it turns out, she's a fan of Love Handel, too!"

Perry was listening intentively to Doofenshmirtz's story. It seemed to him that once again, Major Monogram had over-reacted to one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil "schemes". "And thus began our relationship. At first, we started slow. I-I was hesitant to trust her at first because, you know, that Linda girl I had told you about had just _so rudely_ dumped me. But she began to grow on me. We started going out on more and more dates and then about 2 years after that, I finally proposed to her, and she said yes! Oh, after a lifetime of torment and misery, something good finally came my way! And for a while, things were good. We got along pretty well, and then Vanessa came along."

"But around the time Vanessa turned 9, Charlene and I began to drift apart. We both realized that we wanted different things, and divorced. It was hard on Vanessa. She-She still resents me sometimes for it. I can understand. Anyway, I thought I was done with Charlene. I thought that I would have nothing to do with her anymore. But lately I've been having seconds thoughts. How should I put this? Lately, I've been feeling..."

"Like a total failure?" His robot assistant, Norm, jumped in.

"No, Norm. And thank you for making me feel better about myself."

"You're welcome, sir."

"No, what I meant was I've been feeling rather lonely lately. And since I can't seem to do well with other women, my only other option is...Charlene. That's right, Perry the Platypus. I'm going to use these chocolates, flowers, & jewelery I bought to win her back! Now..." He stood up from his chair, ran into his room, and pulled out two nearly identical tuxedos with the only difference between them being the bow-tie: One was red and the other was blue. "Which tuxedo do you think I should wear when I ask Charlene out?" Perry rolled his eyes.

* * *

Back in the city, Ginger, Adyson, and Holly were out spreading homemade flyers detailing the upcoming party. It was already starting to generate buzz and attention. Children were getting excited and wanted to attend the dance, parents were excited to tell their children about the dance, heck, even the news got involved. But we won't get into that.

The news had spread to everyone in town, including the teenagers, such as Stacy, Jeremy, and Jenny.

"Wow, Phineas and Ferb sure do know how to throw a good party." Stacy said, reading the flyer with Jeremy & Jenny. "Do you think we should go?"

"I don't know. I'm not a very good dancer." Jeremy responded, remembering back to a time where Phineas & Ferb tried to help him cheat to win a dance contest for him & Candace. (**Nerdy Dancin'**)

"Oh come on! I've seen you dance."

"Yeah, in private, or in small school functions. But this is different There will be kids there."

"So? If you can dance in front of hundreds of teenagers at a pep rally, you should have no problem doing it in front of a bunch of kids. They're like teenagers, only smaller. They don't dance well either. But they don't care. They just want to be there and have fun. And I wanna be there and have fun, too. But only if it's with you guys."

"Yeah, Jeremy. You should totally go." Jenny added. "You'd be a great edition to the dance."

"Well, if you guys insist." They turned on the TV and were greeted with a news cast, a morning news cast that was explaining the details of the dance.

"And finally, this morning, the Tri-State Area should be prepared to get its groove on." Tom Tucker said on the news. "The annual "Fireside Girls Theme Choice Party" is back, and this year, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the founding of the Fireside Girls scouts."

"That's right, Tom. It's only day 1 of preparations and already, the city is buzzing with "Dance Fever"." Diane Simmons retaliated. "The dance will be held at Danville Elementary school, and it's sure to be the party of the century."

"But some recent controversy may bring an end to that hope."

"That's right, Tom. A statement released by an anonymous advocate who has great involvement with preparations for the dance says "This dance is the biggest event for Fireside Girls in their history, and it should be preserved only for the people who made it possible: The kids. So no teenagers or crummy adults allowed!"

"Tom!"

"What? I'm just reading what this kid said. Now, while he would not reveal his identity to us, he did give us a picture of him." The scene switched to a picture of Buford. Jenny, Stacy, and Jeremy were each equally appalled. They were really looking forward to the dance.

"I can't believe that little snake!" Stacy shouted. "How can he just ban us from a dance? What did we ever do wrong?"

"Stacy, calm down. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation behind this." Jeremy tried to reassure his girlfriend. "Let's go talk to Phineas and Ferb and see what's going on."

"Good idea." Stacy, Jeremy, and Jenny all went out the door over to Phineas and Ferb's house. When they arrived in the backyard, they noticed that Phineas was the only one there. Everybody else had run off to spread the word and prepare, while Phineas was busy fixing chemicals & playing with arrows.

"Oh hey guys. What's up?" Phineas looked up and saw that his teenager friends were standing there. He considered Jeremy & Stacy close friends of his because they shared his desire for a fun summer. Jenny...eh, well, he didn't know so well, so it's hard to tell.

"Hey, Phineas, do you know anything about a ban on teenagers from the upcoming dance?" Stacy just came out and asked it. In response, Phineas dropped what he was doing (not literally) and looked them all square in the eye.

"A ban? On teenagers? Well that's just wrong. Where'd you hear that?"

"It was on the news just now. They were promoting your dance..."

"Looks like the Fireside Girls are doing a good job of spreading the word."

"And then they said that your friend, Buford, put up a ban on anyone over the age of 13."

"Well that's preposterous. Our dance is open to anyone and everyone. I don't understand why Buford would say teens and adults should be banned."

"Well, we have to do something about it." Jenny suggested. "The news report also said that Buford is going to the mayor for support on this movement."

"Oh that's just great. With the mayor on his side, there's no way we're getting into that dance." Jeremy pointed out. Unfortunately, this was the sad truth. But Phineas tried to reassure them that he would talk to Buford & straighten things out. After this reassurance, the three friends noticed the test tubes filled with pink stuff & homemade arrows & bows. "Uh, what's with the test tubes & arrows?"

"What? These silly things? Well, if you must know, I'm planning to secretly get my friends together with each other so they won't feel lonely when they see me and Isabella dance."

"And you think science will help?"

"Just call me "Cupid"."

"Alright...good luck with that." Stacy said as the three friends took their leave, leaving Phineas there to play with his arrows & tubes. Phineas's plan was simple: shoot all of his friends with love arrows and make them fall in love with each other so they'd all be happy at the dance.

* * *

While he was busy with that, Irving, Baljeet, Milly, Katie, and Gretchen were busy at the school setting everything up for the big event. They were busy with the lights, the refreshments, everything. It was a lot of work and it wasn't going so well. In fact, the delivery guy that was supposed to be delivering all of the refreshments was 45 minutes late. (Even though he was upset that the dance now had a ban on teens and adults, he knew that it was only Buford who was responsible for it, and this late arrival wasn't intentional)

"It's about time!" Gretchen yelled. "Where have you been?"

"Sorry, kids. Flat tire." He said trying to explain himself. "Anyway, I have your refreshments in the back here. By the way, aren't you kids a little young to be planning a dance?"

"Aren't you a little old to be harassing girl scouts?" Milly retaliated, in a bit of a sassier tone than him.

"Touché." He led them all to the back of his truck, where he opened it, revealing only few bags of groceries & refreshments, compared to the dozens of bags they should've received. This was a surprise even to him. "Huh, that's strange. There's nothing in here."

"Oh that's just great! Nearly an hour late and there's nothing here to show for!" Irving shouted in anger.

"Well, I guess the guys are still mad about that whole "over 13" ban on this dance." The kids all looked up at him. This was the first that they had heard about this "ban", and now, they wanted answers.

"Sir, what are you talking about?" Baljeet inquired.

"Aren't you guys in on it? Apparently, there are rumors going around saying that there's going to be a ban on the dance so that nobody over the age of 13 can take part."

"That's ridiculous. Everybody's welcome here."

"Yeah. My older brother may be annoying and obnoxious, but I'm not gonna deny him the chance to dance with his new girlfriend." Irving defend. "Besides, I'd give anything to see him humiliate himself with his lousy dancing skills."

"Well someone's trying to mess with you guys, and you better figure out who. Meanwhile, I'm gonna go back to the store and get you your groceries." He climbed back into his trucks and drove off, leaving the kids all to wonder what was going on.

"We better go tell Phineas what's going on." Katie said.

"Good idea. Maybe he'll know what's happening." Milly agreed as they all left the school while construction men arrived to continue on the set for the school.

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the evil scientist was stressing over what he would do when he asked Charlene out again. "OK, I've got the whole evening planned out. First, we'll go to this hip new Fireside Girls dance they're having tomorrow. I-I know I don't really like those Fireside Girls, and I know they just said that adults are banned. But I'm gonna go anyway, and I'll find a way to sneak in somewhere. Oh, and then after that, I'm gonna take her out to a movie. I hear she really wanted to see that one with Adam Sandler and Kevin James in it. What was it again? Grown Up? Ugh, Adam Sandler is so annoying but Chris Rock makes it all worth wild."

He went into the restroom to try on his tuxedo. He went with the one with the blue bow tie. Perry was surprised with how well Doofenshmirtz cleaned up when he came out. "Do you think this tuxedo makes me look like a geek?" He asked his nemesis, to which he shook his head no. "Oh thank goodness. I-I gotta tell you. Suits and I...they don't really mix well. Don't ask. It's a really long back story."

He grabbed his box of chocolates and his flowers and headed for the door. "Where are you going, sir?" Norm asked.

"Where does it look like I'm going? I'm going to Charlene's house. You know, to ask her out to that dance." Doofenshmirtz replied happily. The thought of getting back together with his ex-wife made him really excited. "Oh tomorrow is going to be the best night ever!"

He happily left his building and got on his scooter. There was still plenty of sun out so he had plenty of time to ask her. But he figured that it would be best to get it over with before he forgot. Lady Luck, however, had different plans for him. Before he got too far from his home, he accidentally ran over a bolt that was just lying in the street. The resulting run-over caused one of his tires to go flat. "Oh no! Not a flat! Not today." He got off his scooter and picked up the bolt. "Curse you, bolt that just happened to be lying in this street." The evil scientist took a good look at his scooter and realized that unless he got another ride or another tire, he was going to have to walk.

Soon enough, Perry and Norm arrived at the scene to see what was happening. "Are you alright, sir?" Norm asked.

"No. No I'm not. One of my tires went flat because of this stupid bolt!" He held up the bolt for Norm to see.

"Yeesh. That looks pretty bad."

"I know that, and unless I can get another ride to Charlene's house quick, I'm gonna have to walk all the way there. Do you know how far it is from here!" Both Perry and Norm shook their heads. "I-Its-It's far! It's very, very far! And I won't show up to her house and ask her out all sweaty and dripping! I refuse to." He looked at his two, uh, companions sheepishly. "Uh, hey, you guys. Do you think you could-"

"Nope." Norm said quickly, cutting Doofenshmirtz off. He began to turn around and walk away.

"Oh come on! You don't even know what I was going to ask! I was just going to ask for a ride to Charlene's."

The robot turned around. "Oh. Well, when you put it that way...no." But he turned back around and flew off, back to his master's lair, leaving Perry & Doofenshmirtz in a sort of awkward position.

"So...Perry the Platypus...I don't suppose...you would mind giving me a ride to Charlene's, would you?" Perry immediately accepted, and went to turn on his jet pack...only to realize that it was completely out of fuel. Shocked and dismayed, Agent P dialed in on his watch and got in contact with his boss.

"Agent P! Uh, it's not like you to dial into headquarters like this. Is there a problem?" Monogram asked, to which Agent P showed him the fuel gauge on his jet pack; the needle was on E. "Oh, your jet pack is out of fuel?"

"Yes, and I'm trying to get to my ex-wife's house so I can ask her out!" Doofenshmirtz yelled in frustration, gaining Monogram's attention.

"Wait, so those flowers & the chocolates that you bought were for your ex-wife?"

"Yes. There's a dance tomorrow night and I wanted to ask her to it. So could you send us a ride?"

Monogram thought about it for a brief moment. "Well, when you put it that way...no." And then went offline, refusing Doofenshmirtz the help he so desperately needed.

* * *

Phineas had was just finishing up with his experiment, and was getting ready to test it out on his friends. Making himself a convenient container to carry his arrows in (you know, like the one Robin Hood has or Cupid) and his bow, he ran out of the backyard and into the street, hoping to catch his friends. But they caught him first.

"Phineas!" Gretchen shouted as she, Milly, Katie, Irving, Django, and Baljeet rushed up to him, each panting from the running they had done. "We have a problem!"

"Is it about the dance?"

"Yeah! Bu - wait, why do you have arrows in that satchel?"

"Um..." If any of them were to figure out what he was planning to do, it would ruin his entire scheme. "Nothing! I-I mean, no reason! I-It's all part of the dance."

"Oh. Really?" They seemed to be buying it, but they were all still just a little bit skeptical. "How so?"

"Well I can't tell you right now. It would ruin the entire surprise."

They all agreed on that simultaneously; Phineas sighed a huge sigh of relief. "Anyway..." Irving continued. "It's about the dance. Everybody keeps saying that somebody put a ban on it for anyone over the age of 13."

"You're kidding, right? Huh, now that you mention it, Stacy, Jenny, and Jeremy came by earlier and told me the exact same thing." Phineas reflected. "They said that Buford was the one who did it."

"But why?"

"I don't know. I guess we should find him and ask him. You guys go that way," He pointed in the direction he was facing. "And I'll go this way." And then he pointed in the direction they were facing. All of them ran off in the direction they were instructed to run. But before they got too far, Phineas managed to shoot one of his arrows at them, and the first one managed to hit Milly. After looking around, wondering what had just hit her, the first face she actually saw was Django's, and instantly, as per an old classic Cupid's-Arrow-In-The-Butt tradition, she fell in love with him, but unlike the regular tradition, these arrows immediately dissolved upon impact. Hearts surrounding her, she edged closer to him.

"Hey, cutie. What's going on?" She said in a swooning, soft, let fiery tone. He started to inch back slightly.

"Uh, n-nothing? Why?"

"Oh, it's just...I never noticed how cute you are!"

And on that signal, Phineas fired another arrow. This time, it was at Django. It instantly took effect on him, and he fell in love with Milly as well, and now, they were both swooning over each other. "You know, I always thought girl scouts were kinda hot." Django giggled, under the influence of the arrow. Baljeet, Irving, Gretchen, and Katie were baffled at the sudden turn of events, while Phineas was ecstatic.

As they all ran into town, Phineas followed closely behind, while trying to remain undetected. It was only after they were in a really crowded street did Phineas get the chance to shoot two more of his arrows at them. This time, they hit Katie and Irving, and right away they both hit it off. To the total disgust of Baljeet, they started swooning over each other and were now totally in love. Baljeet couldn't help but gag at the sight of two couples acting all "lovey-dovey" right in front of him.

"Two down." Phineas said to himself as he made his way back to the school.

Over at Danville Elementary, construction on the inside was almost completely finished on the inside. It was truly a sight to see. The entire interior of the gym was completely repainted with brighter, more lively colors, tables were set up across the floor, a stage was built for the entertainment, refreshments were set up, a disco ball was hung from the ceiling, and new, improved spotlights were installed. Gretchen, Milly, Irving, Django, Baljeet, Katie, and Phineas all returned to the school to see the amazing progress.

"Looking good, guys!" Phineas shouted to the working who were just finishing up on the lights. Phineas turned to his friends. "I see things are going rather smoothly."

"Well, they _were_!" Baljeet shouted, still disgusted with what he was seeing. "Until _these_ guys started "hooking up!" He referred to Irving & Katie, and Django & Milly, who were all still admiring each other.

"Oh, did they?" Phineas tried to sound like he didn't know what was going on, and it was working. "Hmm, that seems strange. But they all seem so happy with each other."

"I know. It's making me want to hurl!"

"Why? Don't you have that one special girl that you want to spend all your time with?"

"Nope."

"Not even Isabella? Come on, I see the way you flirt with her."

"Yes, but that is only to spite you. I have absolutely no interest in that little runt."

Those words struck Phineas like a chord, as he got right up in his face. "Say that again. I dare you!" He loved Isabella so much he would do bad things to anyone who said anything negative about her. Baljeet could immediately tell this from the expression on his face, and backed off right away.

"Right. Sorry. My bad."

"And it better stay that way. Anyway, why don't you guys go home and we'll meet back at my house later today. I'll go check on the others."

Phineas ran back into town to find the others. He had to race all over to find Ginger, Adyson, Buford, and Holly. Once he located the four of them, he waited to get the perfect shot and fired two of his arrows at Buford & Adyson. He could see that lately, Adyson had been swooning a little for Buford because of his out-going, not-afraid-of-anything approach to life, and Phineas realized that this was his chance to take advantage of that. After the arrows dissolved, they both took one good look at each other and were immediately in love with each other.

"Did I ever tell you that your hair looks beautiful in the sunlight?" Buford said, taking the girl's hands. They both looked into each other's eyes.

"You're cute when you put on your angry face." She replied back, to which Gretchen and Holly both exchanged shocked and quite surprised looks. Phineas, however, was celebrating. His plan was almost finished.

* * *

The sun was starting to set, and the sky was beginning to turn a beautiful pink. A clear sign that he was running out of time, Doofenshmirtz kept running along the sidewalk towards his ex-wife's house. His chocolates were melting from the heat, and his flowers were beginning to wilt.

"This is just great!" He huffed, exhausted from running so many miles at such great speeds. "I'm losing my goodies and my flowers are messed up. Soon I'll be able to make a chocolate shake and grow my flowers in it!"

Finally, he managed to make it to his ex-wife's house on a hill somewhere. The sun was just about to set behind it, so he knew his window of opportunity was closing. He rushed up with the last bit of stamina he had.

Inside the home, Vanessa was listening to her mp3 player on the couch, which Charlene was doing some of the cleaning. She had her hands tied when he knocked on the door. "Honey, can you get that?" She asked her daughter politely. Vanessa groaned, turned her MP3 player off and opened the door; she was surprised to see her father standing there in a tuxedo, a sweaty tuxedo, but a tuxedo.

"Dad? What are you doing here!" Vanessa shouted, loud enough for her mom to hear and turn off her vacuum cleaner and join her at the door.

"Heinz? Well, this is a nice surprise." Charlene said, noting how well he cleaned up despite the sweat. She also noticed the box with melted chocolate in it and the wilted flowers. "And...what is all this?" He was trying desperately trying to regain his breath. "H-Heinz, are you OK?"

"Y-Yes. *pant* I'm just *pant* out of breath. T-That's all. My scooter got a flat tire and I just ran, like, 35 miles to get here. *pant*"

"Why, Heinz?"

"B-Because, Charlene," He handed her the flowers that were slightly wilted, and the box of chocolates; all of the chocolates inside were melted, which was immediately noticeable upon opening the box. Still, Charlene cherished the thought. "Because I wouldn't waste my time doing this for any other woman." Vanessa's eyes open widely. "Charlene, you're the only woman who has ever truly cared for me despite my many flaws and difficult childhood."

"I care about you, dad."

"You're a teenage girl, Vanessa. It doesn't count." He turned back to Charlene, who was surprised at the show of affection.

"Heinz, I had no idea you still felt that way about me."

"I never stopped feeling this way about you, Charlene. I-I just thought that I'd give myself a little time away from you so I wouldn't be tempted to come running back to you like a deranged maniac. But...I can't handle it anymore. I want to spend more time with you. So..." He took her hands gently and looked her square in the eyes. "Will you go the Fireside Girls Dance with me?"

Charlene could tell he was being serious and genuine at the same time. She was truly touched. "Oh Heinz...but, I thought that adults weren't allowed to dance."

"I-I know. But we'll sneak in through the back. W-We'll dance in a little dark corner, and nobody will ever know that we were there."

"Heinz, look. T-That's a really sweet gesture. You always tried to make things right even if they didn't go your way. But...even if we _could_ go, I can't."

"Can't?" Doofenshmirtz was stunned. This wasn't at all how it was supposed to play out. She was supposed to say "yes" and then the two would kiss under a spotlight and the crowd would cheer them on. "W-What do you mean?"

"Didn't Vanessa tell you? I-I have a boyfriend, and we have a date tomorrow night." She turned to Vanessa, who wasn't even paying attention to the conversation. Her eyes were closed, and she was listening intensively to her song. "Vanessa, didn't I tell you to mention that to your father?"

"Huh?" She opened her eyes and looked at her mother.

"Vanessa, I told you that it was very important that you tell your father that I was seeing somebody. You know how jealous he can get."

"Mom, it's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is, honey. You know he still likes me."

"But just yesterday, I heard you talking on the phone, and I heard something like "you wouldn't go out with him if he was the last guy on Earth". I assumed you were talking about Dad."

Doofenshmirtz was appalled, speechless, surprised...shall I go on? "Well, fine! If that's the way you feel, then go ahead! Go see your boyfriend tomorrow! I hope you two have a happy life together!" He was so hurt by this that he actually knocked the chocolates and flowers out of Charlene's hands, turned around, and stormed off to head back home.

"Heinz, wait!" Charlene called out to him. "Vanessa didn't mean that!" Charlene was now a bit angry with her daughter because of the way she just blurted that out. Vanessa felt truly guilty about it, even turning off her mp3 player to console her mom.

"Wow, I-I didn't realize that dad was so serious about you."

"Well, Vanessa, if you paid more attention to your surroundings and less time to your stupid songs, then maybe you'd understand." Charlene said firmly, walking back into the house, leaving Vanessa standing there to ponder.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. And Bon Jovi is not stupid!"

* * *

The friends all gathered in the front yard to discuss the day's progress. "Mission accomplished, gang!" Phineas shouted triumphantly to them. "We set up the school for the big day. Everything's ready and willing...except for that teenage ban thing, but we can deal with that tomorrow."

"Not only that...but everybody's in love with each other." Isabella said, noting that nearly everyone was looking passionately at the person they were sitting next to: Katie with Irving, Milly with Django, Buford with Adyson, even Baljeet & Ginger and Ferb & Gretchen (whom Phineas managed to get with love arrows when they weren't looking). In fact, the only person that did not have a date in their circle of friends was Holly. "What the heck could've happened!"

"Don't be upset, Isabella. Now they can all share the love & compassion that we share everyday."

"But...how?" She asked him as the friends with the exception of Ferb and Holly started heading home.

"Well, when I told you I was gonna hang back and work on a project for this dance, I was actually working on these..." He pulled out one of his last remaining arrows from his satchel. "arrows."

"You mean you actually made love arrows and shot them at your friends to make them fall in love with each other?"

"That's right. And it was all done by following the simple chemical basis of love, which follows three main stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. All I needed to do was harness the natural chemicals of Testosterone, Estrogen, Oxytocin, Vasopressin, Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Serotonin, and then mixing them together so they may follow the stages in the correct order. Right now, everybody's in the early Lust stage. Then comes the Attraction stage, and finally the Attachment stage."

"You mean...they're going to be like this forever?" Holly asked, having heard everything of what Phineas had just said.

"No, not at all. The dosage I whipped up isn't nearly that strong. In fact, I reckon by tomorrow night, it should be gone."

"Like, after the dance?"

"More like in the middle of it. Heck, they probably won't even remember any of it. I'm sure we'll be fine." He was right, as Ferb wasn't even paying attention. He was too focused on Gretchen. "And now..." He took Isabella's hand's and spun her around, causing her to squeal happily before he stopped her spinning and got down on one knee, as if he was going to propose to her. "I'm going to do something I should've done last year. Isabella Garcia Shapiro, with your sparkling eyes so bright, will you be my date to the dance tomorrow night?"

"Oh my gosh...Phineas..." She was shocked. Even though he promised her he wouldn't try so hard to be romantic, he got caught up in the moment and figured it would make up for not asking her out properly to the Girls Choice Dance the year before (**Out to Launch**) "Yes! YES! A thousand times yes!" She shouted as she grabbed his shoulder and kissed him, only for him to lose his balance and have them both fall to the ground. Then they both broke out into laughter before Isabella stopped it with a huge kiss on Phineas's forehead. "Oh Phineas. You have no idea how long I've waited for something like this to happen."

"Your wait is over, my princess. I just feel bad that I couldn't get anybody for Holly." Phineas remarked, standing up and looking at the girl dead on. "Sorry."

"Oh that's alright. I already got a boy." Holly said triumphantly as another African American boy, about Holly's age, came into the picture. He had dark skin, black hair, a blue shirt with black shorts, and slip on shoes.

"Hey, sweetheart. You ready for tomorrow?" He asked, swooning over her.

"You bet, Ralph." She replied back, giggling as the boy hugged her.

"Who is this? We've never seen him around here before." Isabella inquired.

"Where are my manners? This is Ralph, Coltrane's brother."

"Oh, that makes sense." Phineas said. "I guess it must be cool to have such an awesome big brother, right? Even if he is on tour for a year?"

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I'll come pick you up tomorrow at 7, alright?"

"You bet, hotshot!" She shouted in excitement as Ralph left and returned home, leaving the four of them in the front yard again.

"Well, then, it looks like everything worked out for everybody." Phineas noted. "And I didn't even have to use up my last 2 arrows."

"You do realize, though, that if any of them find out that you're the one responsible for making them fall in love with each other without their consent, they're probably going to kill you." Holly told him. "I mean, Buford's not exactly the one to soften up, even for a girl. He even bullies your girlfriend from time to time."

"It's true. I can still remember those wedgies." Isabella said, reminiscing.

"Well, there is an old saying. _Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile_. Made famous by Franklin P. Jones." Ferb said proudly.

"What the heck does that mean?" Phineas questioned his stepbrother.

"I have absolutely no idea. I think it's from the 1500's or something."

"Fair enough. By the way, who did you get for our entertainment, Isabella?" He turned to his girlfriend, who gave him a sheepishly & sort of "It's-a-secret" smile.

"Oh, it's a surprise."

"Ooh, I like surprises. I can't wait until tomorrow night. It's getting late, so we all better get some sleep. We don't want to be tired for the big event tomorrow." And with that, Holly went back to her home, Isabella headed across the street to her home, and Phineas & Ferb went inside their house to enjoy their dinner. Phineas hid his satchel with his bow and arrows in his room so his parents wouldn't find out.

"Well, hello boys." Lawrence said as they began eating their dinner. "How was your day?"

"Great! We helped the Fireside Girls prepare a dance for the anniversary of its founding tomorrow night." Phineas said, taking a bite into his halibut. "And I'm taking Isabella."

"That is wonderful. Too bad we can't come."

"Yeah, sorry about that. We'll handle it with Buford tomorrow."

"So who are you taking to the dance, tomorrow, Ferb?" Lawrence asked his son, only to be greeted with a reply of daydreams and drooling by the boy, still thinking about Gretchen. "Uh..."

"He's taking Gretchen to the dance. Those two really seemed to hit it off today."

"Gee, I wonder why..." Phineas leaned in and quickly winked at him so he wouldn't spill the secret to them. But he was too caught up in his fantasy to even look at him. So Phineas resorted to snapping his fingers several times, very quickly, to gain Ferb's attention. "Man, Ferb, I know you're all in love with Gretchen and everything. But could you at least pretend to pay attention when I'm talking to you? Thank you."

"You know, Phineas, that's exactly how you acted after the first few days in your relationship with Isabella." Linda pointed out.

"R-Really?"

"You were so in love with her, all you could think about was spending time with her. You still do, but it's not as bad as it was back then."

"I guess now it's Ferb's turn to go through this. Well, good luck buddy." He patted his stepbrother's shoulders as he put his empty dish in the sink, kissed both of his parents, and then went upstairs to get ready for bed. "Well, G'night, guys." Soon, Ferb joined him, and by 8:00. they were ready & in bed, eager to fall asleep and start the next day. "Well, Ferb, tomorrow's the big night. Everything is gonna culmunate into that one night. Let's hope nothing goes wrong."

The two stepbrothers turned over and closed their eyes. They knew that the next day would bring them nothing but joyous experiences and precious memories. Phineas was relying on his "Cupid" trick to work all through the dance, and was confident nothing would go wrong; the temptation of sleep was finally too much and the two boys drifted off.

**End of Episode 20!**

**Next Time: The dance begins, and things get totally chaotic. The teenagers & adults are banned, the kids are all in love, and Doofenshmirtz threatens to end all forms of love, including for his ex-wife, Charlene.**

**Expected Update: ?**


	27. 21: Big Time Dance

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 21: Big Time Dance (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: Part 2 of a new 2-part special event I'm entitling "Danville Dance Party". The day of the big event has arrived, and the kids are all looking forward to it...until things start to go wrong. Meanwhile the teenagers do whatever it takes to get into the party, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, driven by rejection and vengeance, carries out his latest plan that will eliminate all traces of love in the Tri-State Area.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was finally the day of the big event. The day of the Fireside Girls Theme Choice Party, and all around the Tri-State Area, kids were fussing over what they were going to do at the dance, and even who they were going to ask out.

On Maple Drive, it was the same story. Phineas and Ferb were getting ready for their dates. They were trying on a bunch of suits for their parents in their rooms; they wanted to look their very best for their dates.

"Oh, you both look so adorable in these tuxedos." Linda said, admiring their two boys in a black tuxedo with a white shirt & bow-tie.

"Mom, we're taking girls to our first formal dance. We're not supposed to look adorable." Phineas pointed out as she straightened his tie.

"Phineas, don't take this so seriously. Yes, it's a dance. But you guys are still in elementary school, so I don't think there's too much need to stress over your appearance."

"Aw, I get it, Mom. You're just jealous because no grown-ups are allowed. I wonder why Buford did that. Oh well. We'll see him at the dance, tonight. So I guess we'll ask him then." He looked in his mirror and saw just how cute and handsome he looked. "Man, I clean up well." He looked over at his brother, and saw how nicely he cleaned up. "Ferb, my man! When did you get so sexy?"

"Eh, it's a gift." Ferb merely replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well you both look very nice, and I'm sure Isabella and Gretchen will be pleased that you dressed so formally."

"If you say so, Mom. Hey, what about Perry? How does he look in his tuxedo?" Lawrence held up Perry wearing a tux, and all the platypus did was let out his regular growling sound. "Oh he looks so cute. And who's your lucky date tonight?" Phineas took Perry out of Lawrence's grasp and held him up to the mirror. "Maybe it's Isabella's dog, Pinky. I could just see it now...Actually, you know what? I can't. That would just be too weird."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere over in the country of Iran, a big plane was passing over a small 7,500 acre area of land, complete with a big, but comfortable building that was just like the one back in Danville, only this was was solely focused on military training. It was secluded from the rest of Iran so it wouldn't be a target of attack. There was a fence barred around it to indicate its exact size, and around the building were several stations set up so the cadets could train freely. Inside, there were also gyms set up for training, and enough rooms & beds to hold all of the cadets as well as a cafeteria to serve food.

Now the only thing that was missing from this was a proper entrance. "Attention, passengers..." The pilot said to everyone on board. "We have now reached our desired destination. Please grab your parachutes and have a safe trip down."

"Wait, wait, parachutes?" Candace questioned, and immediately saw the other cadets and Spangler putting on their parachutes and preparing to jump out of the emergency exit. "W-Wait a second! A-Are we...Are we actually going to jump out?" All Spangler did was give her a nod, but it was enough to answer her question. "H-How high up are we, anyway?"

"About 30,000 feet." Spangler shouted over the force of the wind. "Now come on! You're gonna have to jump, Flynn! Otherwise, this plane's gonna take you all the way to Germany!"

"Aw, man! Not Germany! Tara, do we really have to-" He looked over to her right to get some support from her friend, only to discover that she had put on her parachute and was about to jump off the plane as well. "And I'm alone!"

"Move it, Flynn! Or you'll get left behind!" Spangler shouted his last warning to her before jumping off the plane. Candace, knowing that she would absolutely hate it in Germany, decided to jump off the plane and take a 50,000 feet plunge back into Earth's atmosphere, and hopefully, just hopefully, her cord wouldn't break. She jumped off of the plane and started screaming loudly, forgetting that she had to pull the chord in just a little while.

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, it was almost 6:00, and it was time for Phineas and Ferb to pick up their ladies. So they both departed and went to their respective girlfriends' houses. Ferb went to pick up Gretchen down a few houses, and Phineas went right across the street to pick up Isabella. Phineas knocked on the door of his girlfriend's house, and was greeted by her mother.

"Oh, Phineas. Don't you look stunning. How long has it been? Oh I can't believe how much you've grown." Vivian said, talking quickly, one of her many habits.

"Mrs. Garcia Shapiro, you saw me the other day. Anyway, I'm here to pick up Isabella and take her to the dance."

"Of course you are. ISA!" She called into the house. "Your future husband is here!" It was obvious to practically everyone in the neighborhood and in the Tri-State Area that Isabella and Phineas would eventually marry, so the two kids had no problem when their parents randomly brought it up.

Isabella approached the front door in a beautiful purple ball gown. It was her prettiest dress, and Phineas was shocked at how beautiful she looked in it. He tried to keep his jaw from dropping. "Hey Phineas. You look really handsome, you know."

"Uh, t-th-thanks." He stuttered. still shell shocked at how well his girlfriend cleaned up. "Y-You look beautiful." He quickly & loudly said before covering his mouth in embarrassment. Isabella giggled.

"Aw, why thank you, Phineas." She said as she stepped out and took his hand and kissed him. "Ready to go?"

"Y-Yes." Phineas was still stuttering, but he was able to regain his composure and walk with her over to the school. He was surely nervous; he didn't want the night to be ruined by anything. They hadn't even arrived at the school yet and already Phineas was sweating. Meanwhile, Isabella was as cool as an ice cube.

"Phineas, will you relax? It's just a dance."

"Sorry, but I want things to be perfect for tonight's dance. We all worked really hard on it and I know you guys would be upset if something went wrong."

"Don't worry about it. Even if something does go wrong, I'm sure you'll be able to fix it. You're so smart and talented." She wrapped her arms around him to comfort him and help him loosen up. "Now come on. Let's go have ourselves the time of our lives."

"Sure thing, Isabella. It's just too bad Buford had to ruin it with that whole "teenage ban" thing. I'm sure our parents would've wanted to come. But now, Mom and Dad are stuck at home, watching over Perry."

* * *

Actually, they weren't, as Perry was now back in his secret lair, having been called on an emergency mission by his boss.

"Good evening, Agent P." Monogram said over the other line. "Sorry to disturb you so late. It's Doofenshmirtz. Our sources caught him building another one of his "-inators." We were also able to intercept one of his calls."

Monogram turned on a tape recorder which had a small recording of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's most recent calls.

_**Worker: **_"_Sir, I'm sorry. But I'm not going to deliver you a giant laser beam to eliminate all love in the Tri-State Area just because you struck out with a woman who was clearly in your league."_

_**Doofenshmirtz: **"Oh gee, that's nice. Yeah, talk to a man while he's down on his luck. Y-You won't be so high and mighty once my new "inator" causes your wife to see what a deadbeat you are and leave you!"_

_**Worker:** "For your information, you sleaze bucket, I'm not married! I'm single!"_

_**Doofenshmirtz:** "More like lonely."_

The tape ended, and immediately, Monogram expressed his concerns. "Did you hear that, Agent P? Doofenshmirtz specifically said that he was building an "inator" that will rid the world of all feelings of love. It's weird, because as I recall, he already did this last year. But then again, he may be widening his reach this time. Either way, this is nothing but bad news. Get out there and stop him!"

Perry saluted and went on his way.

* * *

Out in the streets, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and all of the other kids met up at Danville Elementary as other kids also began to enter in. The gang met up in front of the school before entering in.

"Wow, guys. You all look great." Phineas said, noticing all of the Fireside Girls wearing dresses and the boys, even Buford, wearing tuxedos. "Whoa, Buford. Who knew we'd see you here wearing at tux?"

"You don't ever bring this up after today." Buford said in a threatening tone, not even noticing that Adyson was giggling at this. "Got it?"

"Right. Sorry. My lips are sealed."

"Make sure of it."

"Speaking of the dance, Buford, is this "teenage ban" thing really necessary?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

"But why? There's nothing wrong with teenagers. They're just like us, only taller. And besides, Candace is all the way across the globe, so you don't have to worry about her."

"I know. But you know teenagers. They tend to crash parties and ruin furniture, and we worked too dang hard on this one, and I don't want no snot-nosed adolescent to break anything in there!" Buford shouted, truly passionate about the work that was put into the dance, something he hadn't shown in a while.

"Whoa, Buford. Calm down. It's just a dance." Isabella said trying to calm the bully down.

"Yeah, honey. You promised you wouldn't lose your temper tonight." Adyson said, still in love with Buford as she tugged his arm.

"I'm sorry, baby-cakes. It's just that...well, I don't want anything to happen tonight."

"Don't worry, Buford. I'm sure nothing will happen." Phineas tried to reassure him. "Although I wish we didn't have to have this stupid ban in the first place. Oh well, let's all go in and enjoy the night." And with that, all of the kids turned towards the school and went inside with their dreams of a great party still very much alive.

There were already many children out on the dance floor, enjoying music played by some random DJ Ferb and Isabella had managed to get for the dance. But this was only the first of many great entertainment plans that were in store. Inside the school, there were already some kids that were dancing on the dance floor, and there were kids who were nervous to dance, upsetting their dates in the process.

"Wow, it looks like a party already." Phineas noted, as the DJ started to play another song. "And cool entertainment, Ferb & Isabella. A DJ? I never would've thought of that. But wait...if nobody's allowed in here in they're 13 or more..."

"We talked with Buford this morning, and he said that he was going to make exceptions for our line of entertainment. He was also going to lift it for adults so the only people not allowed are teenagers ages 13 to 20."

"Ooh, the others aren't going to be happy about that."

"Don't worry. All the adults in the Tri-State Area have already been notified and most of them are on their way."

"Cool."

Up on the stage, the DJ, while playing his song, was also having a little snack: some shrimp that he had brought for refreshments. Unfortunately, what he didn't know, and what nobody in the room knew was that the shrimp had already been tainted, and a few moments after digesting a piece of shrimp, the DJ began throwing up all over his sound equipment. Instantly, the music stopped and all the kids turned around to watch the DJ throw up all over the place. Some paramedics were on the scene and took him aside to pump his stomach.

The children, well most of them at least, were horrified, and some started to panic. But that's when Isabella took the stage in the hopes of calming them down. "People, please." She said into a microphone. "Remain calm. The Fireside Girls are always prepared We will have more entertainment for you in just a few moments. Thank you for your patience."

Meanwhile, outside, behind the school, several "uninvited guests" were gathered around and were witnessing these events unfold. And on top of that, they were...enjoying it. To be fair, they're called "uninvited" because they're all teenagers, and teenagers were banned.

"Phase 1 of operation "Party Pooper" is in progress." Stacy said, watching, but not enjoying, the DJ throw up all over the place.

"Stacy, I know how badly you wanted to dance with me, but was it really necessary to taint their entertainer?" Jeremy asked, as the others began to converse.

"OK, to be fair, I didn't taint the DJ. I tainted the shrimp. He's the one who ate it."

"Yeah, but still-"

"Look, he's not gonna die, Jeremy. He's just gonna have to stay off of solid foods for the next few days. That's all."

"And you honestly think that this is going to work on _all_ of the entertainers?"

"No." Stacy scoffed. "Of course not. I'm not that stupid. I've got other plans. Just follow my lead."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Perry was on his way to his evil nemesis's lair. Since his gadgets needed fixing, he was forced to take a bus. And upon climbing up the stairs inside and arriving at his nemesis's door, he was greeted by Doofenshmirtz's robot assistant, Norm.

"Oh, hello, sir. What can I do for you today?" Norm asked politely. Perry raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to get Doofenshmirtz. "Oh, I see." So Norm turned his head inside. "It's for you, sir!"

"Alright, alright. Jeez." Doofenshmirtz said angrily, storming towards his door. "Can't you see I'm busy with - Perry the Platypus!" He stepped back, surprised to see his mortal enemy there. "Oh, great! The one time I have a trap set for you at the balcony, you decide to come in through the door. Great. Just great." He sighed and cupped his eyebrows. "Very well, Perry the Platypus. Come on in."

He led Norm and Perry into his lair and showed him a small bomb he had made. This bomb was going to be the key to his plan. "Behold! The De-love-inator 2.0...inator. Y-Yes, I know it's small. But, there's a crater that's already made in the center of the Tri-State Area. I'm going to place this bomb in that crater, and when it goes off, POOF! All feelings of love will be erased in the Tri-State Area!"

Perry shook his head. He wasn't impressed, especially since Doofenshmirtz had previously tried to erase all feelings of love with a satellite. "What? OK, I know what you are thinking. I am aware that I have once tried to do this before. But, last time, I did it before my initial rejection. This time, I'm doing it after it! If Charlene thinks she's too good to me, then good riddance! I don't need her! I don't need any love from any women. All I need is me and my fancy knick knacks."

"And me, right?" Norm asked.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." He walked out to his balcony, where there was a small ray gun that was designed to act like a cannon. He loaded his bomb into the cannon and aimed in at the crater that he had made earlier that was located conveniently at the center of the Tri-State Area. He pulled the trigger and fired it. It was lodged into the center, and the timer went off, counting down from 20 minutes. "There! Perfect, and now in less than 20 minutes, Charlene and everyone else in the Tri-State Area will lose their feelings of love forever!"

Perry tried to run up to him and start beating him up, only to trip and get stuck to the floor when he fell in a puddle of super glue that was just so conveniently spilled there. "Aha, not this time, Perry the Platypus! That super glue should hold you off long enough for my plan to work."

* * *

Back at the dance, things were finally beginning to settle down. After the display the DJ had given the kids, they were all a bit horrified. But after having some time without entertainment, most of the kids began to re-cooperate and began to socialize with each other. "So, Isabella, it looks like the entertainment department didn't go over so well." Phineas said to his girlfriend.

"Don't worry. We have a back up plan." Isabella said. "There's this cool band out there called "Fat, Black, n' Joe" and they say that they are really cool and I asked them to come play for us." **(A/N: I took the "Horny" out of "Fat, Horny, Black n' Joe" to keep it viewer friendly & because the "Horny" of the band won't be playing)**

"Awesome. So when are they getting here?"

"Any minute."

As in on cue, three middle-aged adults came bursting through the door. "Hey everybody! How's it hanging'?" The fattest one of them said. The kids all turned around, and upon seeing them, Isabella was shocked.

"Wait a minute. Phineas, aren't those three of my dad's friends we saw when we went to Rhode Island earlier this summer?" **(Keep in mind, in this series, Isabella's father is Quagmire. Boy, that was a dumb decision on my part)**

"Uh, yep, I'm pretty sure that's them."

The three men walked (or in Joe's case, wheeled) up to the stage and began to set up their equipment. They had to make several trips to and from the school to bring their equipment, which consisted of guitars, keyboards, drums, and amplifiers. The kids were getting rather excited that they were going to hear some music again.

Meanwhile, over by the snack tables, some of the gang were trying to deal with their (forced) dates. Some were succeeding, some not so much. Django & Milly were having a good time enjoying the snacks, Irving was quickly becoming obsessive over Katie, Holly was still waiting for her date to show up (Ralph was now an hour late), and Ginger & Baljeet were making out behind the table.

"So your dad is, like, this really famous artist who makes out of giant stuff, and stuff?" Milly asked, staring endearingly at Django.

"Yeah. He's famous all around the world. Pretty soon he's gonna be taking his art on a tour across the globe. He'll be even more famous than Michael Jackson."

Milly laughed. "I don't know about that. But I can't wait to see what's he got."

Irving & Katie were having much less luck with their date. Irving, having gotten over his obsession with Phineas & Ferb, was now obsessing over Katie, and Katie wasn't liking it at all.

"Come on, baby. Just one!"

"No, Irving."

"Just one lock of your beautiful, glistening, blond hair."

"No! That's creepy!"

"No it's no! And besides, I'll trade you a lock of Ferb's hair. Or-Or how about a pair of Phineas's shorts. Never used, I might add."

"That's still disgusting. I don't want anything like that."

And if that wasn't bad enough, by the front door, Buford was keeping a close eye out for any teenagers who would try to sneak in. He was paying no attention to Adyson, which was really upsetting her.

"Buford, sweetie, aren't you coming in to dance?" She asked him politely. He turned around and looked at her big "puppy dog" eyes.

"I'm sorry, beautiful. But you know those rambunctious teenagers. They'll stop at nothing to get in here, and I don't want no party crashers tonight."

"But...you promised me a dance."

"Yeah, yeah, toots. I know. And you'll get your dance. As soon as these-" He spotted another teenager trying to sneak in, and threw a water balloon at him. "LOSERS get the message that they're NOT WELCOME!"

"You can't keep us out!" He yelled before retreating.

"As long as I have a fresh water balloon at my disposal, yes I can!" Buford shouted back to the teenager. Adyson, disgusted and frustrated at the fact that her dance was denied, stormed back inside, almost flipping Buford off in the process.

By now, the band was ready to play. The three of them were up on stage with their instruments at hand. Unfortunately, unbeknown to them was that the group of teenagers (consisting of Stacy, Jeremy, Jenny, & others) had tricked out the instruments so every note they'd play would be completely out of tune. They were so sure that their plan was going to work.

"Attention, boys and girls!" The fat one shouted into the microphone. "Are you ready to party!" He was answered by the sounds of loud and energetic cheering from the kids. The fat one turned to his other two companions. "Alright, count us off."

"A 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3!" The paralyzed one said as he prepared to beat his drum. The three of them, however, froze before uttering a single note, shocking the teenagers.

"Hey, whey aren't you guys playing!" Stacy yelled from behind the school. "You should be playing!" She was careful, though, to make sure she didn't yell loud enough for anybody to spot her. She turned to her friends. "Why aren't they playing?" And then they heard one of them say this.

"Oh my god! We don't know any songs!"

"Hmm, I guess that would be a reason." Jeremy commented, as they all turned back to the band, and watched as they stood there, motionless. They were to play their instruments. But they weren't ready to play any songs. The children were becoming impatient.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's latest creation was just about to go off. Perry was still trapped in the super glue, so he was unable to do anything about it. "Only a few more seconds until the love is gone. My plan will finally succeed. Yes!" He shouted in triumph and pounded his laser beam. By doing this, he had actually reprogrammed his little bomb not to affect the entire Tri-State, but a small part of it instead. Dr. Doofenshmirtz recognized this error when he heard his machine beep a few times and then speak.

"_Target set. Detonation in T-minus 10 seconds_."

"Wait, wait a minute. "Target Set"? W-What does that mean?"

"_3...2...1..._"

And at that moment, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's De-love-inator bomb went off and let out a huge sonic wave that would put the feeling of love out of everybody's mind. But, instead of affecting everybody in the Tri-State Area, it was now set to affect only a certain location in the Tri-State Area. That location, as luck would have it, was Danville Elementary School.

* * *

"What do you mean you don't know any songs?" Isabella yelled to the band. Everyone was getting impatient and the band was becoming anxious.

"Uh, w-well..."

"You told us that you could play!"

"I didn't know you meant actual songs!"

"W-What..." Isabella was baffled at how stupid he was. (Apparently, she had forgotten how dumb he can really be from their last encounter) Of course, that was about to mean absolutely nothing. Dr. Doofenshmirtz's De-love-inator bomb had gone off and its shockwaves had hit the school. Everybody inside the building was affected. Of course, nobody realized it for the first few seconds. "Well, that's stupid. Come on, you idiots! Sing!"

"Well, why don't you go up there and sing, Isabella?" Phineas encouraged her.

"Really? You think I should?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's about time that we hear something that makes our lunch come up." The De-love-inator had taken effect. Now, everybody who had feelings for somebody was now obligated to despise that person. Everyone gasped as soon as those words came out of Phineas's mouth, especially Isabella.

"What was that!" She edged up to him and glared at him. "Are you saying that I'm a lousy singer!"

"No. I'm saying you have a lousy voice. I mean, come on. I've never heard a 10-year old with a voice like yours! News flash, only babies talk like that!"

She gasped in horror, as did everybody else. Just the other day, Phineas had told her that she had the cutest voice he had ever heard. "Well, Mr. Rude Mouth, while we're on the subject of voices, why don't we talk about yours!" A crowd of kids began to form around the two lovebirds.

"What's wrong with mine?"

She scoffed. "What _isn't_ wrong! You always sound like your nose is stuffed up or something. It's so nasally and obnoxious. That girl next door was right! Your voice is so unattractive!" The crowd "ooh'ed." "You're lucky your attitude is top-notch or else you'd be hearing an earful from people." The crowd "ooh'ed" again

"You wouldn't even know what an earful would be considering you wear earplugs every time you sleep over at my house!" The crowed let out a bigger "ooh" this time, and it was followed up by some milded laughter.

"Well, maybe if you didn't snore like an animal every night, I wouldn't have to!" Everybody started laughing, and even began to point at the two. Phineas was feeling embarrassed again before turning back to Isabella.

"Oh, so now you're making fun of how I sleep, are you! Two can play at that game!" He leaned in real close to her, angrily glaring at her. "At least I don't suck my thumb!" Everyone gasped, and for a moment, nobody made a sound. They were too into the fight, and were waiting for Isabella to respond. The girl was struck with hatred and fury when Phineas revealed her thumb-sucking secret to the whole world. In anger, she slapped him across the face, and the crowd started getting rowdy again. And then, all hell broke loose.

Phineas tackled Isabella to the ground and the two got into a cat fight. Most of the crowd was going ape on them, except for their friends.

"Oh man, this is getting out of control." Django shouted, holding his hands to his eyes to cover up the action.

"What are you so worried about?" Milly said smugly to him. "Shouldn't you be concerned about your daddy's lame art exhibit?"

"LAME! But...just a minute ago, you were saying how cool it was." Django was in total disarray at the unfolding events.

"Please. I wouldn't buy any of your dad's art even if I was about to go homeless!" And then Django's rage got the better of him, and he tackled Milly to the ground. After that, everybody turned to their date & started pounding on each other, even Holly, whose date, Ralph, finally showed up. She decided to beat the garbage out of him because he was so late.

The band "Fat, Black & Joe" took a good look at the crowd and was unsure as to what they should do. "Um...OK, kids. C-Calm down." Peter tried to get the kids to stop fighting with each other, but to no avail. "T-There's no need for you to start fighting. T-There's no need...There's no need for you start throwing food at each other. I'm sure that food was expensive. A-A-And I don't think this calls for any hair-tugging or pants pulling or name-calling of any sorts."

"Peter, it's not working." Joe said flatly.

"I know, and now I suddenly have the urge to go home and beat up my wife."

"Yeah, me too." Joe said.

"I, too, have the urge to make an assault on my wife." Cleveland added, watching the kids hurt each other. It was a horrible sight to see. "So, uh, should we do something."

Peter turned to them. "If anybody asks...we were never hear." And with all of that, they all dropped their instruments, and slowly tip-toed to the back door. Upon opening the door, they tripped over Stacy, who was knelling down on the floor, trying to hear all the action going on. She, and all the other teenagers heard the kids begin fighting. "Um...w-what are you guys doing out here?"

"What are you?" Stacy asked back.

"We're the entertainment. Or at least we were until they all went Karate Kid on each other. Anyway, shouldn't you guys be inside?"

"No. The kids banned all teenagers from stepping foot in the school during the dance."

"Oh that's terrible."

"You're telling us. At least you were able to get in. We've been stuck out here all night."

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the scientist's evil plan had gone into fruition. However, because of his little mess-up earlier, he wasn't so sure that it had been completely successful. "Eh, why do I have the strangest feeling that my plan will backfire on me somehow?" He rubbed his chin and pondered on that thought for a moment. Meanwhile, Perry was still trying to break free of his super glue trap. "I better go about the Tri-State Area and check to see if my -inator did anything."

He turned to exit his lair, and then exit his building. Upon looking around at his front door, he noticed people walking around, mostly couples. So far, there didn't seem to be any affected by his -inator. Disappointed, but still optimistic, he marched on into the city. But everywhere he went, he saw couples hugging, kissing, talking, proposing to each other...there was absolutely no sign of hatred coming from anybody.

But that was before Doofenshmirtz stumbled onto the Danville Elementary School, where the Tri-State Area's biggest kid fight was taking place. Chairs were being thrown, windows were being smashed, food was being wasted, it was total mayhem. "Ah...what is this? Could it be?" He slowly approached to the school, careful not to be hit by flying food or chairs. "Could my De-love-inator have taken effect here? At this elementary school? It certainly sounds that way. I better go check it out."

Edging closer and closer to the school, he avoided everything that was thrown in his direction. He peered in one of the broken windows and discovered that all of the kids were beating each other up. Some had their clothes torn all over the place, some had bruises from head to toe, and some were even unconscious from the beating. "Uh oh." Doofenshmirtz said quietly to himself. "This is not good. It appears that these children are the only ones who were affected by my De-love-inator. A-And now they're killing each other. Normally I would be enjoying this, but for some reason, I'm just not in the mood. I guess my fallout with Charlene affected me more than I expected."

Meanwhile, Perry had finally broken out of his super glue trapped, and was now inclined to hunt down Doofenshmirtz & defeat him. Unfortunately, there were more important matters at hand, as his fateful boss, Monogram, would explained on his video watch.

"Agent P, we've got a problem on our hands here. It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's latest evil plans has affected your owners." Perry's eyes opened widely at these news. But he continued to listen intensively. "According to our research, his "De-love-inator" has caused all of the children at the Fireside Girls Theme Choice Dance to go a-wall on each other. They're throwing chairs, food, punches, kicks, it's mass chaos in there. But here at the agency, we have a back-up plan. We believe that we have a solution that will return things to normal there. We'd do it ourselves, but due to some issues with transportation, and by issues, I mean...Carl-"

"I said I was sorry."

"Ugh. Carl accidentally locked us in our super secret "No windows, one door" lock-up room where we put our dangerous agents that have gone rogue. We need you to infiltrate our facility and..." Monogram went on to explain that Perry had to make his way to the facility's secret lab and grab a very unstable and dangerous device that could help reverse the effects of the De-love-inator. So, without wasting any time, Perry flew back to his agency's headquarters in an attempt to help out his two masters & their friends.

In order to get to his secret headquarter's main facility, he had to first get into his lair, which he did by using one of the entrances located back at the Flynn-Fletcher home. Linda and Lawrence were watching TV, so they didn't notice Perry sneak in through the back window & go upstairs into the bathroom to use the tub to get into his lair.

After successfully taking a tube to his lair, he had to take another tube out of his lair, landing him right in the middle of the O.W.C.A's main facility, and after following Monogram's instruction to the letter, he was able to get the device that he described would help the kids out and stop them from bickering with each other.

* * *

Speaking of the kids, they were all still fighting with each other at school. Considering everybody was bashing their heads against each other & giving each other black eyes, it was safe to say that the dance was pretty much over. Nobody was having a good time.

In fact, it got so bad that the teenagers that were still stranded outside decided to finally enter the building to see if they could ease up the tension in the room. But despite great efforts from Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, and the others, the kids still kept fighting with each other. Nobody, including the kids, understood why there was a sudden urge in the air to hurt people.

"Man, this is crazy!" Jeremy yelled over the screaming and the shouting. "What has gotten into these kids!"

"I don't know. I guess it's true what they say about young love!" Stacy shouted back.

"What's that?"

Stacy had to think about that for a moment, and then replied. "I don't know! I jumped the gun!" Stacy and Jeremy ran over and grabbed Phineas & Isabella, pulling them off of each other before Phineas could pull his girlfriend's hair out. "Whoa, guys! What's the problem?" She asked while holding Isabella.

"He made fun of my singing voice!" She shouted, pointing at Phineas while trying to squirm out of Stacy's grip.

"She made fun of the way I talk!" Phineas pointed out.

"Well that's not nearly as bad as telling everyone in the school that I suck my thumb when I sleep!"

"What has gotten into you guys!" Jeremy asked, still holding back Phineas. "Just the other day, you guys were hugging and kissing each other every chance you got. And now, you're at each other's throats ready to kill each other."

"I don't know." Phineas & Isabella, though still angry at each other, were starting to calm down. They didn't have the urge to kill each other now, but they were still very angry with each other. "Out of nowhere, I just got the urge all of a sudden to hate Isabella. It's like some jerk face out there who was lonely and depressed didn't want anybody to have love, so he took it all away somehow."

"Yeah. I could never really hate Phineas forever." Isabella said, looking at her boyfriend with endearing eyes, as he stared back. "But right now, I hate his guts."

"I hate your guts, too." He said flatly, before tearing up slightly. "And I don't like that I don't like you. What's happening to us?"

"Probably what's happening to everybody else in the room. If only we could figure out what that is." Stacy said.

"Maybe it's just first-date jitters. I know I have them."

"Yeah, but even so, I didn't have the urge to put Candace in a coma during my first date with her." Jeremy pointed out. The four of them took a look around and saw the other teenagers trying desperately to hold off the kids as they were trying to beat each other up. The kids were seriously angry with each other and nobody understood why.

* * *

Even though he didn't understand it that much either, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was getting a kick out of watching the kids beat each other up. "Ha ha!" He laughed. "This is too great. My plan is working perfectly. OK, not perfectly. I mean, it should've affected everyone in the Tri-State Area, but instead, it only works on these miserable brats. Oh well, it's better than nothing." Just as he was going to enjoy the fighting some more, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, his ex-wife Charlene was walking down the street. Her head was hung down, so he could immediately tell that she was in some sort of emotional distress.

Normally, if his plan were to work like it was, he wouldn't be the least bit interested in trying to make her feel better. But he still had feelings for her, so it was extremely difficult for Doofenshmirtz to ignore her. He started running to catch up to her. "Charlene! Charlene. I-it's me, Heinz!" He shouted going after her. Without him surrounding the area, Perry, who had succeeded in getting the necessary supplies Monogram instructed, was free to go about with his counter-plan.

Major Monogram had created a small antenna that, when activated, would unleash a small sonic wave that would affect anyone and everyone in its short-radius blast. The sonic blast could do anything that it was programmed to do. This time around, Perry programmed it to cancel out the effects of Doofenshmirtz's De-love-inator. Then he attached it to the very top of the building and turned it on. It took a couple of minutes to take effect, so now all Perry could do was wait and hope the kids didn't bring the school down before it turned on.

"Charlene!" Doofenshmirtz yelled to his ex-wife. Charlene raised her head up and turned around to see him running towards her.

"H-Heinz? What are you doing here?" She asked; her face gave obvious signs that she had been in emotional distress.

"I-I was just wandering the neighborhood when I noticed you here. H-Have you been crying?"

"N-No! What makes you say that?"

"Your eyes are all red and your face is flushed. You look like you've been hurt."

Charlene sighed in defeat. She could never really hide anything from Heinz. "Well, Heinz, if you must know, my date stood me up."

"Oh, that's terrible!" Heinz shouted in dismay. "Who would want to stand _you_ up?"

"I don't know, but that Robert is such a jerk. I don't know why I even fell for him in the first place. Gosh, I feel like such an idiot."

"Well, you shouldn't, Charlene. This "Robert" joker is the idiot for ever standing you up in the first place." Heinz took her hand and looked at her endearingly. "You're a beautiful and righteous woman, and if that loser can't even see that, then he doesn't deserve you."

"Do you really mean all those things you said about me?"

"Why wouldn't I? Charlene, you are the first and only woman I have truly felt anything for. You're the only one I really wanted to spent any time with."

"What about your daughter, Vanessa?"

"She's half my age! It doesn't count! Charlene, my point is I really care about you, and I can't imagine what my life would be like if I never met you."

Charlene could instantly tell by the look of Heinz's face that he was being sincere. "Sometimes I think to myself the same thing." Knowing that there was a level-ground between the two of them, that there was no tension between them, they embraced warmly, completely ignoring the noise that was coming from the school. The noise included the kids screaming & cussing at each other, glass being shattered, the walls being crashed into, and finally, the antenna going off and unleashing its sonic wave.

It stretched all the way around the school so every single kid that was affected by Doofenshmirtz's De-love-inator now had its effects on them cancelled. Suddenly, the kids stopped fighting with each other and looked around in every direction in pure confusion. Then the air was filled with murmurs and conversations as they all seemed to resume what they were doing as if the fighting had never happened.

"Whoa. Now what's going on?" Jeremy asked. "Now they're acting as if the fighting never happened."

As Jeremy & Stacy put Phineas & Isabella down, they were approached by the kids' friends.

"Look at this place! It's ruined!" Adyson screamed, seeing all the destroyed tables, chairs, wasted food, broken window, etc. It was all a big mess, and unfortunately, nobody really had a good memory of what had happened. In fact, the only ones who really remembered the fighting were the teenagers.

"Hey! What are THESE losers doing here?" Buford shouted. Apparently, he still remembered his "teenager ban".

"Hey, look who's talking, bucko!" Stacy barked at him. "We were just trying to help stop you guys from trashing this place."

"What!"

"It's true!" Jenny interfered, stepping in to defend the teenager's actions. She held up her cellphone and showed Buford and the rest of the kids the video she took of the kids fighting with each other and destroying the place. "See?"

"Wait a minute. That's impossible. The last thing I remember is standing at the door keeping teenagers out by the front door, and Adyson here calling me sweet names."

"Yeah...I remember that too." Adyson remarked.

"The last thing I remember is talking to Django about his dad's art." Milly added.

"And all I remember is Katie yelling at me for trying to get a lock of her hair." Irving also said. Each kid gave a similar story: the last thing they remember was them doing something romantic with their date. Seeing that his cover was practically blown, Phineas decided to come clean before the tempers turned onto him.

_**One very strange and long explanation later...**_

"...and that's what's been going on." Phineas concluded explaining. "I put you guys under a spell so you'd fall in love with each other because I didn't want you to feel lonely seeing how happy I was with Isabella." He wrapped his arms around Isabella and kissed her, allowing her to let out a giggle. "I'm really sorry about all of this. I guess I thought that I was thinking about you guys, making you couple up like that. But, you guys should be free to choose when you guys go for the love."

"Well, there is an old saying about this kind of situation." Ferb said, preparing a famous quote that probably had nothing to do with the current situation. "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Everybody simple stared at him. "What the heck does that mean?" Phineas inquired.

"It means love stinks."

"Well that's your opinion, Ferb. I mean, Isabella and I are very happy together, and we love each other so much. I just wanted you guys to experience that happiness with us."

"Phineas, you can't force other kids to fall in love with each other just because you think it'll make them happy." Stacy explained. "You have to let your friends find love on their own. Obviously, they're just not ready for that yet, at least not like you and Isabella."

"Yeah, dude. But just because they're not ready to find love yet doesn't mean they're not happy." Jeremy added. "They're kids just being kids. They don't want to grow up just yet. So...why are you?"

"I'm not trying to grow up! I'm still enjoying every single second of summer that I can get." Phineas defended himself. He didn't see dating his best friend as a sign of adulthood just yet, because the way they were doing it, it really wasn't. "But that doesn't mean that I can't spend a little more time with Isabella, does it? I mean, after what happened in California, I owe it to her to devote as much attention as possible-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up there, bucko." Isabella said, stopping him before he got upset again. "What are you talking about, Phineas? I told you that it was OK. You didn't have to apologize for that anymore. We were both at fault. Why can't you just move on from that?"

"But you know me, Isabella. I have a hard time just letting things go. Like when I got upset at Candace because I thought she didn't like me or Ferb."

"That was then, and this is now." She took his shoulder and looked dead into his eyes. "I don't want you to think that you owe me anything just because you forgot one day of the year. One day out of 365. We made up. It's over. Move on."

"I can't, Isabella! I care about you too much to move on from you!" He ran up to her and gave her a big hug, trying desperately to hold back tears. Clearly, even though he knew that things were OK between him and Isabella as far as what happened earlier in the summer was concerned, in his heart of hearts, he still didn't feel like he deserved to be forgiven. "I'm just so afraid that if I mess one little thing up with you, you'll hate me and never want to be my friend again."

"Phineas, that is the most ridiculous thing you have ever said! I could never hate you." She wrapped her arms around him to comfort him. "Don't you remember? I'm the one that had a huge crush on you in the first place."

"So? A lot can change."

"Look, Phineas, I know you're not exactly the romantic type. But I also know that you care deeply for everyone you encounter. You always try to please everybody around you every waking moment. You need to understand, though, that you can't please everyone all the time. No matter how hard your try, somebody's going to be hurt, and you just have to learn to deal with it."

Wiping some tears from his eyes, Phineas looked up at his best friend. They smiled at each other before Phineas went back to his hug. "I'm sorry, Isabella."

"That's OK, Phineas." They pulled apart again and looked at each other. "I forgive you."

Phineas's smile grew, and he felt his heart become less heavy with burden. "That's all I wanted to hear." He kissed her cheek and snuggled up to her as the two shared a laugh.

"Well, now that our event has been tattered and our guests are rowdy and impatient, what do you suppose we do?" Ferb inquired to his stepbrother. But just as they were all about to give up and head home, they heard a car door slam, and a car screech off. Then, four teenage boys with incredible singing voices came through the front door and approached them.

"Hey, are we too late?" One of them asked; they were the back-up entertainment that Ferb and Isabella had ordered in the event that their first entertainment department failed them (which it did miserably). "We're Big Time Rush. We're here to perform for the..." The boy (Kendall) took out a piece of paper and read from it. "Annual Fireside Girls Theme Choice Party."

"Yep, that's us. Hey, aren't you that new hot boy band that everybody's talking about?"

"Yes. Yes we are."

"Uh, are you sure this is the right place?" Logan asked, looking around and observing the destroyed room. He also noticed the shattered & beaten up kids.

"Yeah, this is the right place. We, uh...we just had a little...situation here earlier. But it's OK now." Isabella replied, hoping that it wouldn't drive the boy band away.

"OK. Can't argue with that. Come on, let's go get set up." The boy ran up to the stage and set themselves up for their big song. The kids all grabbed their partners (or at least in the gang's case, _a_ partner) and began to dance to the beat of the song.

Outside, Charlene and Heinz were now trying to figure out what they should do when Heinz heard the song and decided that they should dance. "Hey, is that Big Time Rush? Come on, Charlene. Let's boogie!" He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the school where they, along with everybody else, danced to the song.

_**There are so many things that I never, ever got to say  
'Cause I'm always tongue-tied with my words getting in the way  
If you could read my mind, then all your doubts would be left behind  
And every little thing would be falling into place**_

_**I would scream to the world  
They would see you're my girl  
But I just keep gettin'**_

_**Stuck, stuck. But I'm never giving up, up  
**__**In the middle of a perfect day  
I'm tripping over words to say  
'Cause I don't wanna keep you guessing  
But I always end up getting  
Stuck, stuck. But I'm never giving' up, up**_

Phineas ended up dancing with Isabella, Ferb paired up with Gretchen, and the other kids decided not to dance in pairs, just to dance, with the exception of Milly. She had gotten hungry and decided to go for a snack. Unfortunately, she had gone for the shrimp.

"Hey, don't eat that!" Jeremy noticed Milly had taken a big bite out of the shrimp. He ran over to her to stop her, but it was too late. The prawn was devoured. Yes, it was that big. And it wasn't just that one prawn. She had already eaten four others.

"What? Why not?"

"'Cause the shrimp's tainted!" When those words were spoken, Milly's eyes opened widely, as she slowly turned them to Jeremy.

"You mean you guys tainted our food?"

"I didn't say any of that. I just said that the shrimp was tainted. I didn't say the rest of the food was or that we teenagers had done it."

Milly blinked a couple of times and looked around the room, then at herself, then at Jeremy before responding to him again. "Are you sure? I feel fine." And then she took another prawn and began devouring it. Frustrated, but seeing no more need to be there, he backed away slowly and returned to dancing with Stacy, as Big Time Rush began to sing the second verse of the song.

_**It's the way that I feel when you say what you say to me  
'Cause I wanna be with you 24/7 days a week  
It you got the time, stick around and you'll realize  
That it takes only 30 minutes to make & break a scene**_

_**And I would scream to the world  
They would see you're my girl  
But I just keep getting**_

_**Stuck, stuck. But I'm never giving up, up  
In the middle of a perfect day  
I'm tripping over words to say  
'Cause I don't wanna keep you guessing  
But I always end up getting  
Stuck, stuck. But I'm never giving up, up**_

By the end of the song, everybody had forgotten about the events that had happened, and cheered for the band, who graciously took their bows. Once again, all was right, and everything was back to normal.

**End of Episode 21!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb become comedians, or at least try to. Plus, Doofenshmirtz takes a vacation.**

**Expected Update: Sometime after July18th. That's for sure.**


	28. 22a: Mr Funny Pants

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 22a: Mr. Funny Pants**

**Episode Summary: Phineas & Ferb decide to become comedians & Isabella signs them up for an amateur night performance. But things don't go as planned when it comes along. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz takes a vacation, and Major Monogram & Carl learn about the joys & the hardships of prank calling.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was another spectacular day. The sun was out (granted there were some clouds) and all the kids on the block were enjoying the day. Phineas & Ferb wanted to join that group, but first they had to figure out what they were going to do.

"Gee, Ferb. It looks like we're starting to run out of ideas." Phineas said to his stepbrother. "It's getting harder and harder to make each day better than the last." Phineas's frustration was soon lifted when he saw his girlfriend walk through the gate.

"Hi guys." She said gleefully as she ran up to them and sat down next to Phineas. "What'cha doin'?"

"Trying to figure out what we're going to do today. I think Ferb and I are running out of ideas."

Isabella gasped, surprised. "You? Running out of ideas? Say it isn't so."

"Oh it is, Isabella. Ferb and I are running out of ideas, and for the first time, we're not sweating." Phineas's joke to lighten the mood up caused the three kids to break out into laughter.

"Very funny, Phineas. Hey, here's a wild question. Have you ever considered trying out comedy?"

"Comedy? You mean...trying to make people laugh for a living? Hmm, now they're an idea. But there's no way Ferb and I will be able to keep up with those big time comedians like Jeff Foxworthy, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfield, and others."

"Oh please. Those comedians are so out-of-class you've probably already become funnier then all of them just by sitting down." And they all broke out into laughter again after Ferb had finished his remark.

"Then it's settled!" Phineas announced after the laughter had died down. "I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna become comedians. Now...how do we do that...?" He looked around the ground and noticed that his pet platypus was missing.

"So, where do you suppose Perry's off to today?" Isabella inquired, also noticing that Perry was missing.

"Inside the house. He's got a bad cold, so he's resting."

* * *

Meanwhile, down at the O.W.C.A, Major Monogram was ready to debrief Perry on his latest mission. Unfortunately, Perry was not in his lair, and Monogram was becoming concerned. "Carl!"

"Yes sir?" Carl, his intern, said from the other room.

"Does Agent P know he's supposed to be here right now?"

"Yes. But he called in sick earlier this morning." Carl walked over to his boss and handed him a letter. "He even has it in writing. I can tell it's his handwriting because I can't understand a single word. And that only happens when he's really sick. Otherwise, he's an excellent writer...so I think."

Monogram observed the letter carefully, and came to the same conclusion as Carl. He sighed and handed the letter back to his intern. "Oh boy. Well, I guess there's nothing we can do about this. I just hope he gets better soon. He's a valued member of this organization. It's just a good thing we took a sick day on a day where Doofenshmirtz isn't up to anything fishy."

"What _is_ he up to, anyway?"

"According to these reports..." Monogram read a piece of paper that he had in his hand. "Doofenshmirtz is taking a vacation in Maui. Hmm, good for him. It's about time, too. Except now, with Doofenshmirtz taking a vacation, that leaves us with nothing to do."

The two of them stood there for a long moment. There was never a day where there was nothing that required their attention, so they were free to do whatever they wanted. It was after a long moment of thought that Carl came up with an idea. "You want mess with Doofenshmirtz?" He asked his boss, holding up a cellphone.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz on a Vacation!**_

Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as luck would have it, was taking his much needed vacation...in Maui. He was relaxing near the beach and letting the waves touch his feet while his robot assistant, Norm, brought him beverages and food.

"Your lemonade, sir." He said, handing a cup full of ice cold lemonade to his boss.

"Thank you Norm." Doofenshmirtz took the cup and took a big sip of it, enjoying every single drop that went into his mouth. "This is the life, Norm. No evil worries, no Perry the Platypus, no annoying brother to make me look bad."

"And no evil nemesis."

"I already said that."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. It was implied when I said "Perry the Platypus"." Before he could take another sip, Doofenshmirtz heard his cellphone ringing. So he picked it up an answered it. "Hello? Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. If this is a family member, _LEAVE ME ALONE_!" All Dr. Doofenshmirtz could hear was some giggling on the other line, giggling coming from Carl.

"_Uh, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz?_" Carl and Monogram were about to play a trick on him. "_Oh I'm sorry. I must've dialed the wrong number."_

"Oh. Well, that's quite alright. Accidents happen."

"Yes, I must've. I was looking to call somebody named "Ivana"." Monogram started giggling again as Carl hushed him up. "Ivana Shake-My-Booty."

"Ivana...Shake-My-Booty?"

"You do? Well, don't let me stop you." The next thing Doofenshmirtz heard was Carl & Monogram laughing hysterically in the background on the other end of his phone. Of course, he didn't know that it was Monogram & Carl.

"W-What's so funny? I just asked for the name...oh, oh..." It took a couple of minutes for the evil scientist to realize what he said. Only after the laughter on the other end got even louder did he analyze the words said and realize that he had just been pranked. "I see." He lifted the phone back to his ear. "Ha ha! That's very funny, wise guy!"

"I think they just pranked you." Norm said, having heard everything.

"I know that!"

* * *

Back home, Phineas and Ferb were working on a comedy routine at their house. Isabella had decided to go back to her house for undisclosed reasons. Phineas & Ferb were trying to come up with a few clever jokes for their routine, but they were having some difficulties.

"Man, Ferb, I didn't realize that it was so difficulty to come up with jokes." Phineas said to his stepbrother. He rubbed his head with his pencil's eraser, staring into the whiteness that was his notebook's blank page.

"Hello boys." Their father, Lawrence, greeted them as he entered the living room. "And what are you two doing today?"

"We're working on becoming comedians. We seem to be having a bit of trouble, though. We can't seem to come up with good jokes for our comedy routine."

"Perhaps I can help you out." He sat down on the couch as Phineas & Ferb turned to listen to him.

"You're a comedian?"

"Not professional, of course. But I am a "funny-bunny" if I do say so myself. Now, let's see if I remember it." Lawrence had to think of a good joke to tell his kids. He had just bragged about being a funny guy. He didn't want to look like an idiot in front of them. "Oh here we go. OK, so a horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face"?" He waited for the kids to break out into spontaneous laughter. But it didn't come.

"Dad, that's not funny."

"What? That's impossible. Every time I told one of my buddies back in England, they used to laugh for hours."

"Maybe they were just being nice, because frankly, that was one of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Dad, we need funny. We need excitement."

"I thought it was pretty funny."

"Really? 'Cause Mom told me she didn't find it funny."

"But...she laughed."

"It was probably a pity laugh." Ferb said, trying to convince their dad that it wasn't a funny joke.

"Oh. Well..." It was now an awkward moment for all three of them. His joke wasn't funny, and Phineas & Ferb were in dire need to a joke that was funny. "This is awkward. Well, I'll let you boys get back to your comedy routine. If you need anything, ask your mother." He quickly stood up to avoid any more awkwardness between him and his sons. At that point, Isabella came rushing in through the front door, holding papers in her hand.

"Phineas! Ferb! You're not going to believe this!" She shouted, rushing up to her boyfriend. "I did some research and I learned that the Tri-State Area Theater is hosting an amateur night tonight for beginning comedians, and I signed you and Ferb up."

Phineas and Ferb opened their eyes widely and stared in her direction for a long while. "You signed us up for an amateur night without consulting us? But why?"

"I-I figured that you guys would have a decent routine by the time I was finished." She tried to explain. "I'm sorry. You guys always seem to have a plan."

"Not this time. Comedy is hard. Ferb and I don't have any jokes."

"Not a single joke?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Well, don't worry. I think I have the solution for you." Isabella handed Phineas the rest of the papers. It turns out that the papers all had jokes on them that Isabella had found on a website. She assumed, however, that nobody had claimed the rights to the jokes, as she did not fully examine the website that she obtained the jokes from. "I found a bunch of funny jokes online. I think you and Ferb'll be a big hit tonight."

Phineas & Ferb both read over the hundreds of jokes Isabella had gotten for them. "Whoa, these are some funny jokes. And you just found them on the internet?"

"Yeah." Truth was, she really did think she just found them. But she, along with the two stepbrothers, would learn that lesson the hard way.

"Great. Then I guess we're set then. Isabella, we can't thank you enough for doing this for us."

So the three kids spent the rest of the afternoon practicing their routine. Since Phineas & Ferb would only be given 20 minutes for their performance during amateur night, they had to choose carefully which jokes they wanted to use, which jokes they deemed the funniest. It was a difficult decision, as Isabella had obviously chosen a strong group of jokes.

* * *

Back in Maui, Doofenshmirtz was finished with the beach and had returned to his hotel room with Norm for some TV. "Ugh, that was one weird beach day." He said to himself, referring specifically to the prank call he had received. "And it's strange because not too many people know my cellphone number. I-I had to get a new one because some jerk kept prank calling my old one."

And speak of the devil, Doofenshmirtz's cellphone rang again. "Hello? Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. If this is a family member, BUZZ OFF! I'm on vacation!"

"_Hello sir." _Major Monogram said from the other line, disguising his voice so it sounds much higher than normal. "_Could you help me? I'm looking for a man named Seymour Butts."_

"Seymour Butts? I-Is this some kind of joke? I don't know any Seymour Butts? A guy whose last name is Butts? Well, sir, that sounds like someone I wouldn't want to hang out with. I don't want to hang out with Seymour Butts."

"_You want to see more butts? Well, sir, don't let me stop you."_

"What? That's not what I-" But before he could retaliate again, Monogram hung up. He heard a click come from the other side of the line, and then hung up his own phone, and shutting it off. "Drat! Not again." He cupped his eyebrows in frustration as he plopped himself onto his bed. "I really hate prank calls! It-It's just so annoying when the person on the other line is intentionally trying to make you suffer. I-I don't even do it, and it's probably known as the most heinous form of torture over a two-way call line."

Speaking of the other line, Monogram and Carl were laughing their heads off having just pranked Doofenshmirtz again. "Oh C-Carl! Carl, we are such bad people!" Monogram said sarcastically through stifled laughter.

"We should be put in jail for this!" Carl blurted out before breaking out into hysterical laughter. "W-Wait! I-I think I got another one!" Monogram handed him the phone and dialed Doofenshmirtz's cell number again. But this time, he couldn't get through because the evil scientist had shut off his cellphone. "Drat. Doofenshmirtz must've shut off his cellphone. I'm not getting anything."

"He must be catching on to us."

"Either that he was just sick of the calls. It's not even noon yet and we've already got him quivering. We are good."

"Yeah, but now how are we gonna get him? He turned off his cellphone so we can't prank call him."

"Maybe...but that does give me an idea." Carl started sending Doofenshmirtz a text message. Of course, Doofenshmirtz would not receive this message until the next time he turned his cellphone on. "And...send."

* * *

As for Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he was about to be served a beautifully cooked lobster with garnish & beef wellington cooked by three of the greatest chefs of our time.

"Ah, finally. My dinner is here." Doofenshmirtz remarked as the three brilliant chefs, Gordon Ramsey, host of **Hell's Kitchen** Season 4 winner Christina Machamer, and Season 6 winner Dave Levey. Unfortunately, Doofenshmirtz, when he initially ordered his entrée, did not know what he was ordering. So he was quite surprised when he saw a lobster in front of him. "W-What is this?"

"It's your entrée, sir." Dave said calmly. "This is exactly what you ordered."

"No, no it's not! I order the..." He picked up his menu and tried to read what he ordered. The only flaw with this restaurant was that the menus were all in French, so if somebody wanted to order something, they would have to ask one of the waiters for assistance. Doofenshmirtz did no such thing in this case. "Homard. And last time I checked, a Homard is _not_ a lobster."

"Actually, Homard _means_ Lobster in French." Gordon Ramsey explained to him.

"What? That's ridiculous."

"See, what happened was...when they were first building this restaurant, they hired all French guys to do the work around here. That included the architectural style of the restaurant, and the food, and unfortunately, that also included the menus." Christina continued.

"So what you are saying to me is that this is a **_French _**restaurant?" He eyed them, mentally telling them _'Be careful what you say next.'_

"Technically speaking...yes."

"But sir, with all due respect, it's your own fault. I mean, there was even a sign at the front door in ENGLISH..." Dave enphasized the word 'English'. "That said "Warning: You are entering a man-made French restaurant. If you have any difficulties with ordering, please consult a waiter. I don't know how we could've been any clearer."

"I don't know. I see you guys as the only ones at fault here." Doofenshmirtz smugly stood up from his seat. "You guys should have put up some sort of sign or something." Apparently, he had not heard one word Dave had just said or he just did not care for what they had to say. "I guess you guys are not as good at cooking as I thought you were. For shame, Ramses. For shame!" He eyed Gordon Ramsey down harder than the other two chefs, angering Ramsey. Nobody dared disrespect him in his own restaurant.

"Yeah? Well, let me respond to that in the following way."

_**1 Hour Later...**_

"You know, in retrospect, maybe I should've just ordered room service." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said to Norm, as he was laying in his bed, dizzy from the beating he got from Ramsey. He was being nursed by Norm.

"I still can't believe he single handedly broke both of your feet." Norm said, observing that Ramsey literally had messed up both of Doofenshmirtz's feet. Seriously, the toes were scrambled and what not.

"Yeah, that guy is a tough nugget, alright."

"By the way, sir, you have a new message on your phone." Norm opened up Doofenshmirtz's cellphone. "It's from your daughter." Then he handed it to him. It was a text message, and upon reading what "Vanessa" had to say, he entered a state of panic, immediately dialing her number.

"_Hello?_"

"Vanessa! It's your father! Oh, I'm so sorry about what happened to you mother." He shouted quickly into the phone.

"My mom? What are you talking about, Dad? You know I've been staying with Uncle Roger for the weekend."

"But...you sent me a text message saying you stepped on a crack and broke your mother's back."

"Stepped on a...Dad, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You mean to tell me you didn't send me a text message saying..." He flipped around in his cellphone looking for the message. He found the message that "Vanessa" sent, only to discover that it really wasn't her that sent it, because her name was spelled "vannecca dofenchmers". Carl, who sent the text message in the first place, not only failed to capitalize Vanessa's name, he misspelled it, and poorly too.

"_Dad?"_

"Vanessa, I'm going to have to call you back." He shut his cellphone and looked angrily at Norm. "I've been pranked again."

"May I see your cellphone?" Norm asked, reaching his hand out to grab the phone.

"S-Sure, Norm. Why?" He reluctantly handed his robot assistant the phone. Norm fiddled around with it until finally, he was able to figure out how to trace the call back to its origin. He pressed a few buttons on it and then handed it back to him, instructing him to hold it to his ear. "What is this about?"

"Don't you want to get back at your pranksters?"

"Well, yeah, but..." And then it all began to hit him. He looked at the number he was dialing. "Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that you actually managed to figure out who my prank callers are?"

"N-No..."

"Then how are you so sure that it's the guys who have been pranking me that I'm dialing."

"Star 69."

"Star 69...w-wait a minute. Wait! Can you do that on a cellphone?"

At that moment Doofenshmirtz heard a click on the other line and then, somebody started talking. "_Hello. O.W.C.A Headquarters. Major Monogram speaking_."

Before Doofenshmirtz could drop his own jaw, he covered it with his mouth, avoiding letting out a loud squeal. "It's Perry the Platypus's boss." He whispered to Norm. "I can't believe it. It must've been him and his dimwitted assistant, Dr. Coconut." What Doofenshmirtz did not realize, though, was that his voice was getting gradually louder and louder, and by now, Monogram & Carl, on the other line, could hear him. "Oh boy, even without Perry the Platypus, Mono-brow & his little beach-related friend have to mess with me. I mean, it's Perry the Platypus's job to ruin my day, not Monogram's! And another thing..."

**_Click!_**

Monogram had hung up on the other line. Realizing that they had been exposed, he figured there was no more reason to mess with him. "Carl..."

"Yes, sir?"

"I think Doofenshmirtz is on to us. If anybody asks about this, deny everything."

* * *

It was finally time for amateur night at the Tri-State Area Theater. It was a full house, as the audience was packed with people who wanted to hear beginners get them laughing out of their chairs; some of the people present in the audience included famous comedians Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Cosby, Jeff Foxworthy, Chris Rock, Gilbert Gottfried, Jerry Seinfeld, and others.

It was almost Phineas & Ferb's turn. They were backstage doing some last minute preparations with Isabella. "Alright, Ferb, they're about to call our names." Phineas said to his stepbrother. "Wish us luck, Isabella."

"And now, ladies and gentlemen!" The announcer boomed through his microphone. "Put your hands together for the comedy stylings of Phineas & Ferb!" Phineas & Ferb walked onto the stage, greeted by cheering and applause by the audience.

"Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen." Phineas said through his microphone. "Say Ferb. It looks like we've got quite the crowd tonight, huh?" Ferb nodded his head. "I agree. You know, it's too bad our neighborhood is so crummy. I mean, it's so bad that you can actually get shot while being shot."

The audience started laughing, even the famous comedians. But then, when the comedians all had a second to think about it, they realized that Phineas had stolen that joke from Chris Rock.

"Oh yes, it's absolutely dreadful." Ferb continued. "And do you know what else? When a bird grows up, its mother forces it to leave the nest and fly off on its own. Us humans are the only creatures that allow our children to come back home." The audience once again erupted into laughter. However, this time, the laughter seemed a bit dimmer because some people started noticing that the comedians weren't too happy with their jokes being told.

Isabella, still backstage, instantly noticed this. "What's going on? Those jokes should be funny. I mean, everybody who's commented on those jokes have said that they were all told spectacularly by...oh, wait a minute." And only now did she realize what had happened. She pulled out her laptop quickly and looked up the website where she pulled those jokes from. Soon enough, it all made sense, and Isabella was feeling red on her cheeks. "Uh oh. What have I done?"

"And another thing..." Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb were still going, and Phineas was about to bring out another killer joke. "Anyone ever notice that every time a new list come outs on the richest black people in the world, the #8 slot on the list always goes to a black guy who just happened to win the lottery the week before."

At that point, the comedians all got fed up and started storming up onto the stage, to the surprise of the audience & the two stepbrothers. "What's your problem, man!" Bill Cosby shouted, not looking in their direction due to his blindness.

"Yeah, what's the deal with you stealing our jokes!" Chris Rock shouted, and the whole audience gasped in surprised, as did Phineas.

"What? Steal _your_ jokes? You guys are out of your mind!"

"Uh, no they're not." Isabella said quietly, slowly making her way onto the stage, bringing her laptop with her. "I-I checked the website I got those jokes off of...you know, "", and as it turns out...the jokes I printed out for you actually came from these famous comedians."

Phineas & Ferb both turned towards her. "Y-You mean Ferb and I were telling these guys's jokes this whole time?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"So you admit it!" Gilbert screamed out.

"What's the big deal? It wasn't like Ferb and I were going to take credit for using your jokes. We were just trying to make people laugh at amateur night."

"Yeah. It's called "Amateur Night", not "Amateurs-Steal-Jokes-From-Famous-Comedians Night"." Jerry Seinfeld explained.

"I'm sorry. We just really wanted to try and become comedians, like you guys. But...I guess it didn't work out so well, huh. Maybe we should've taken a different approach."

"Look, kid, it's great if you want to be like us." Chris told him. "But you can't just copy from your idols. You can't steal their jokes and pretend like they're your own or convince people that they're your own. If you want to be funny, you need to come up with your fresh material, find out what makes you or your friends laugh, and build on that."

"I suppose you're right."

"I'm sorry. I just thought I was helping." Isabella said, feeling a bit guilty because she was the one that had given Phineas & Ferb the list of jokes.

"Well, actually, little girl, you did help." Bill Cosby reassured her...sorta.

"Really?"

"Sure. You helped _us_ have a reason to kick your butts!" Gottfried shouted as the celebrities all edged closer to the kids. The three started backing up slowly until Isabella decided to step in.

"Now wait a minute! You are not kicking anybody's butt!" Isabella shouted. "You can rearrange Phineas's face all you want, but his butt is strictly mine!"

"Uh...OK." Unsure on how to respond to that, the comedians all decided to back off slowly. "Uh, how about we just let you go home, promising that you won't steal any more of our jokes."

"OK. That sounds fair. But does that mean we can't spread the word about how funny your..." Phineas's voice trailed off as soon as he, along with everybody else started hearing some screaming coming from the back row. The screamer stood up, taking off the headphones he was wearing, and started jumping up and down in joy.

"YEAH! YES! YES! I WON THE LOTTERY! WHOO-HOO!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran out the door with his spirits lifted. And yes, just for the irony of the joke, he was indeed black.

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella looked up at the funny people. "Um, w-what just happened?"

"Don't quote me on this," Chris Rock said. "But I think there's gonna be a new #8 on the next "World's Richest Black People" list."

**End of Episode 22a!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb learn the true meaning of responsibility when they find something valuable lying in the streets.**

**Expected Update: I don't know. Maybe by August 3rd. No guarantees, though!**

**"Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs To You!" premieres August 2nd on Disney XD and August 6th on Disney Channel!**


	29. 22b: Man's Treasure

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 22b: Man's Treasure**

**Episode Summary: When Phineas & Ferb find some money left over on the streets, they learn a hard lesson about responsibility, especially when it comes time to turn it over. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, angry that he had accidentally lost his alimony check, decides to invent his own form of money.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was another early morning in Danville. Phineas & Ferb were already leaving the Super Duper Mega Super Store, having obtained the supplies needed for their day's project.

"Wow, Ferb. It's not even 10:00 yet and already we have the stuff for the world's tallest sculpture." Phineas said as he and Ferb were pushing the cart away. "What do you think we should make it into? A giant boot? A cheese wheel? A-" But before Phineas could suggest anything else, he found himself tripping over and falling flat on his face. It happened so fast he couldn't stop himself. "Ow!" He shouted upon impact. He rolled onto his back and saw that his right knee was slightly scraped. "Aw, man. I scraped my knee! Hey, what's this?"

He along with Ferb then noticed a small, black briefcase just lying in the parking lot. It appeared to be abandoned, and nobody around them were making a move towards it. "It's a briefcase." He looked around and started calling out to people. "Hey! Hey, does this belong to anybody? Hello?" He called out to everyone that was around him. But nobody would do as much as look in his direction. He was ignored by just about everybody.

"How rude." Ferb remarked, which actually caused some people to look in his direction.

"You said it, buddy. Come on. Let's take this home and look at it there. There's too many witnesses out here."

So the two boys loaded their supplies, and the suitcases, onto the wagons that they had conveniently installed onto their scooters, and then rode off home. Of course, it did take a bit longer than normal since they were riding with an extra 100 pounds of supplies. But once they finally did arrive home, they decided to put off their sculpture project to the side and investigate the briefcase. "Finally, we're home. Now, let's crack this sucker open."

Ferb slowly unlocked the briefcase and opened it. The two stepbrothers were greeted with a bright, shining light, coming from inside the case. But when that dimmed down, they took a close look and discovered what was in the case: piles and piles of cash. "Whoa, baby! Are you seeing what I'm seeing, Ferb!" Phineas asked; all Ferb could do was nod in amazement. "There must be thousands of dollars in here. I can't believe somebody would just throw away money like this. It's unheard of! Let's start counting it up to see what we're dealing with." He looked around and noticed Perry wasn't with them. "Hey, where's Perry? He'd get a kick out of this."

* * *

Perry, having recovered from his cold the previous day, was in the house, finishing up his breakfast from his breakfast bowl. Seeing nobody around, he flipped it over, took off the false cover that was on it and pressed the button inside. Instantly, the pantry to his left opened up. He put on his fedora, stepped into the pantry, and was taken via test tube down to his lair, where he was greeted by his boss.

"Good morning, Agent P. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is at it again. He was last seen at Sandwich Town trying to buy some sandwiches. Apparently, he was out of real money, so he decided to use some fake money to get by. And guess what? That idiot at the counter bought it! Can you believe it! I can't believe people out there are _that_ stupid! Gosh!" Monogram was becoming angry, but was able to regain his composure quickly before speaking directly to Perry again. "Anyway, find out what he is really up to, and stop him!"

Perry saluted him and went on his way back through the tube the way he came in. He was about to just run out the back door of the home, but he saw that Phineas and Ferb were there, counting the money they found. So, he decided to go through the front. Luckily, Mom was at the Antique Store, you know, running it, and Dad was in the living room watching "Pinhead Pierre" so he didn't notice.

Back outside, the boys were still counting the money they found when Isabella showed up in her usual happy mood. "Hey guys. What'cha doin'?" Then she noticed the suitcase full of money. "Whoa, that's a lot of money there." She sat down next to Phineas. "Where'd you guys get it?"

"Well, while Ferb and I were on out way out of Superduper Mega Store with supplies to build the world's biggest art sculpture, I tripped on this briefcase full of money. We looked around the store and nobody would claim it, so we decided to take it home with us. Right now we're counting up the money..." He then realized that he had lost track of the money he was counting. "And now I lost count. Man, this is gonna take all day."

"Or just five minutes with the talking bank you gave me for my birthday two years ago."

"You still have that thing? Cool. I wonder how it works."

Isabella gave him a perplexed look as Phineas put his batch of money back in the case. "You tell me, genius. _You're _the one who built it!" She sighed and then giggled. "Honestly, Phineas. Sometimes, you can be so dense." She said as she kissed the side of his head. "Let's go to my house and we can check there."

So the three kids strolled on over to Isabella's house up to her room. Luckily, her mother was out shopping so there was no need to worry about her. She took out a big, pink bank that looked like an mini interactive talking ATM, and they dumped the money into the bank. They waited in total anxiety to hear what the bank had to say.

"_Total money deposited..." _The banked began to say, in a voice that sounded eerily similar to Ben Stein's. "_$43,861." _The three children all dropped their jaws in shock. They couldn't believe they were in possession of a worker's average yearly salary in one-shot.

"Wow. That is a lot of money." Phineas said calmly, while opening up the bank and slowly taking the money back out and putting it in the briefcase.

"And if we were to split the money evenly between the three of us..." Ferb took out a calculator and started typing some numbers in. "Each of us would receive a cut of $14,620.33."

"Yikes. So...now what do we do with it?"

"Well, according to the Fireside Girls Manuel..." Isabella opened up her book. "If someone should find money lying out in the streets unclaimed, that person has the responsibility of putting up flyers and such and spreading the word of its existence. If nobody claims the money within a 2-week period, then it's theirs to keep."

"2 weeks, huh? Boy, that is going to be hard to wait out. We usually get things done in a day." He sighed, really hoping he could keep the money. "Oh well. WE better get started."

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Perry arrived shortly after at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. Going inside the lair in a civilized way this time, as in using the key to the door he gave him, he was surprised to see his nemesis sitting in a chair and reading a newspaper.

"Oh, Perry the Platypus. It's you." He put down his newspaper and looked at his nemesis. "Thank you for using the door this time. It's much more civilized than crashing through my wall. Anyway," He pulled out a remote and trapped Perry in a regular cage before getting up and walking over to him. "Sorry about the tight squeeze here. I would've gotten a biggest cage, but unfortunately, I seem to have run out of money. You see, after I came home from my, *ahem*, vacation, I found Charlene's monthly alimony check in my mailbox. So I decided to cash it in and head to the Super Duper Mega Super Store to buy some supplies for my newest -inator."

"But then, the strangest thing happens. Get this. I put the money in a nice, little briefcase I was holding from back when I attended Evil classes. And then I put the briefcase into my shopping cart. But when I go up to the register to pay for my things, I realize that there's a hole in my cart, which is strange because nothing else fell out. So I'm forced to leave the store having collected absolutely nothing for a new evil scheme. Can you believe it, Perry the Platypus! Now there's, like, $45K's somewhere in the Tri-State Area in some irresponsible little pest's little hands!" Perry's eyes widened in shock at how much money he actually had been given from his ex-wife. "Ugh! It makes me sick just to imagine what they could be doing with that money."

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were busy putting up flyers around the city, trying to find the owner of the briefcase and the money. After putting up hundreds of flyers on telephone poles, near buildings, and on tree trucks, the gang decided to take a break under the same tree they just finished up with.

"There. Now that we've spread the word, all we can do is wait." Phineas said, putting the case down and taking a seat next to his girlfriend & stepbrother. "And see who is it that lost this valuable money in the first place."

"And more important, who would be _dumb_ enough to lose $43,000 in the first place." Ferb pointed out.

"Oh yeah. That too. Who _would_ be stupid enough to lose this money?"

"Guess we'll find out in 2 weeks." Isabella said. "Otherwise, it's ours to keep."

"I can't wait! Think of all the projects we could do with this kind of money. We're practically rich!"

Isabella gave a sheepish laugh and then turned away from Phineas. "We're far from rich, Phineas. Trust me_._"

"I guess, but still. We could do a lot of stuff with $43,861." Phineas laughed. "I sure feel sorry for the sucker who dropped this."

* * *

"So, to ease my stress and create some laughter into this predicament," Dr. Doofenshmirtz continued explaining his situation to Perry, and was now moving on to his next plan. "I am creating my own brand of money to use. I call them," He walked over to his table, and pulled out a stack of what looked like green paper the size of regular dollar bills. He took them over to Perry, pulled one out, and gave it to him. "Doof-bucks! See? See? It has my face on them. I have a color code system I'm going to use. The $1 bills will be green, $5 bills are yellow, $10 bills are orange, $20 bills are purple, $50 bills are red, and the $100 bills are blue. And all of the bills have my face on them with each set having a different facial expression."

"I'm going to use this system of currency when I take over the Tri-State Area and become emperor. I haven't exactly finished printing out all the bills yet. But, uh, when I do, you can bet that they'll all look...really cool, I can tell you that! But until then, you'll just have to play with these $1 bills." He handed Perry the rest of the bills. "They won't do you much good here, because they won't get you out of that cage, especially since I'm setting your bail at..." Doofenshmirtz had to think of a price to set so Perry wouldn't be able to bail himself out. "500 Doof-bucks! Oh yeah. That's it. That's your bail."

As his robot assistant walked up behind Doofenshmirtz, the evil scientist began to gloat. "That's right, Perry the Platypus! I'm bad. And if you want to see any sunlight again, you'll fork up 500 Doof-bucks, and I don't think you've..." But Doofenshmirtz stopped gloating when he saw his nemesis sitting on the floor, and beginning to count the bills, apparently having taken him seriously. "Oh, y-you're actually counting them? Wow, I didn't think you'd actually take this seriously. I was expecting that you would try and break out somehow."

Doofenshmirtz stood there for a few minutes, watching Perry count up the "money" he was given. When Perry reached 100, he took out a small band and a marker, and wrapped it around the bills, marking that it was $100, so he wouldn't lose track. "Wow, you would make a heck of an accountant."

* * *

After returning to the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella had the tough task of figuring out what they were going to do with the money until either the 2-week trial period expired or somebody claimed it.

"OK. Now that we've spread the word about the money, what should we do with it?" Phineas asked his two friends. "I mean, 2-weeks is a long time to wait, especially with this kind of money. I think the best thing to do would be to keep it our so Ferb and I can keep an eye on it."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute." Isabella stopped him before he could go any further. "Why is it that automatically the money gets to stay here, at your house?"

"W-What are you talking about?"

"What if I wanted to keep the money at _my_ house? You know, so it stays safe."

"A-Are you...Are you insinuating that Ferb and I wouldn't take proper care of the case?"

Isabella was dumbfounded at the ludicrous accusations. "Are you out of your mind, Phineas! Of course I know you guys would take good care of the case."

"Then why would you want to keep it at your house? Unless..." He gasped in horror as Isabella slowly started backing away. "_You_ want the money all to yourself!"

"Heh, heh. T-That's ridiculous, Phineas. I-I would share it with you guys. I mean, after I get my cut of course."

"_Your_ cut!" Phineas scoffed, holding the briefcase in his hand tightly. "What do you mean _your_ cut?"

"Come on! It's obvious I should get the bigger slice of this money since I'm the one that made all the posters and put in some phone calls."

"Oh yippee! You talked on a phone, and you wrote on some paper." Phineas's tone was becoming extremely sarcastic, and it was annoying Isabella greatly. "You did that once. Once out of a 104-day summer vacation. Ferb and I do that and then some every single day! _We_ should be the ones getting the bigger cut. We are stepbrothers, you know!"

"But _I'm_ you're girlfriend!" She shouted, reaching out to grab the case. "I can't believe you would choose Ferb over your own girlfriend!"

"I'm not _choosing_ anybody over anyone, Isabella. I'm just stating facts! If you don't like them, then I don't know what to tell you."

"Oh, that's it! It's on, now!" She screamed, finally lunging at Phineas and attacking him to get a hold of the case. Ferb tried quietly to tip-toe over them and let them tussle it out, but he was pulled in by Isabella and put into the fight as well. Meanwhile, the briefcase had been tossed onto Ferb's bed, and was in no way at all a part of the fight.

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Perry was still busy counting up his "Doof-bucks". He was up to about 400, so he still had a hundred to go. Doofenshmirtz and Norm were enjoying some lunch in their kitchen.

"Ooh, this is delicious, Norm." He said, taking another bite into his lobster. "You've really outdone yourself."

"Thank you, sir." Norm said. "It's my own recipe."

"Your own recipe? How can it be yours? You're a robot. Robots can't have..." But as he was about to get into another argument with his assistant, he heard some clanging coming from the living room, more specifically, from the cage Perry was trapped in. The two went in to see what the commotion was. Perry was ready to turn in his money to get out of the cage. "Perry the Platypus? Y-You're paying us? Well, call me skeptical, but I don't think you have the money needed to get out."

Norm took the bills and put them into his mouth. But instead of eating them, he scanned them, counting each and every bill. Finally, he finished. "Total amount of Doof-bucks: 526." Then 26 small bills slid out of his mouth. He took them and handed them back to Perry. "Here is your change, sir." He said as he unlocked the cage.

"Change? It's not real money, Norm! You don't have to give him change! It's play mo-" But before more retaliation could come, Doofenshmirtz found himself being attacked by Perry. A sharp kick to the head and he was on his back, as Perry made for the exit. "Ow, well thank you for the headache." Seeing that he was going for the exit, Doofenshmirtz sent Norm out to attack. "Norm, he's getting away! Get him! Get him!"

"Wait, sir! I have something of much more importance." He said, printing out a paper from his portable printer stored in him, and handing it to Doofenshmirtz. It was one of the flyers the kids made of the missing money.

"More importance? What could be more important that - oh, I see where you're going with this." He read the paper carefully and realized that his missing money had been a hot topic on the streets, and that people (Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella) were trying to help him get it back. "Hey, somebody found my briefcase full of money. But they better not have spent any of it or else I'll be really mad." He looked up at Norm, and then back down at the paper, continuing to read it. "If anyone has information, call the police station. Hmm, this is going to be a problem, then."

"Why, sir?" Norm asked.

"Well, I...I kinda flaked out on my community service (**Vanessassary Roughness**) so if I go down as myself to try and claim the money, they might suspect something and then I might end up in jail."

"That wouldn't do at all, sir."

"I know. I have to think of something, and quick."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were still tussling over who should get the money. Each of them were battered and bruised, with their clothes all torn up, shreds everywhere, and the case, still strangely unaffected.

"It's my money!" Phineas yelled.

"In your dreams, Flynn." Isabella retorted back loudly. "You wouldn't know how to use this kind of money if it bit you in the bu-"

"Don't even say that word!"

Isabella paused for a moment and waited for Phineas to let his guard down. As soon as he looked vulnerable again, she piped up. "Bit you in the butt! HA! There, I said it!" And then she was tackled again.

The fight was getting out of control. They were all starting to cuss at each other as they beat each other up even more. "And what about you? What could _you_ possibly spend it on?"

"Maybe I want to buy a new teddy bear because the one I already have is getting worn out!"

"Or perhaps I wanted to buy a new toolbox." Ferb added, causing Phineas & Isabella to stop where they were and look in his direction. They raised questioning eyebrows at him before Phineas spoke again.

"A new toolbox? Seriously? Is that the best you could do?" He asked smugly. "What's wrong with your old toolbox?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with it. I was just throwing out a suggestion. I could do so much better with the money than you or your girlfriend here."

"You take that back!" Phineas was at his boiling point as he tackled his brother to the ground. The two were really going at it, even harder than they were before. The rumbling was causing the case to start falling off the bed. It would've hit Phineas on the head, but Isabella jumped into action and caught it, falling to the ground with it. She was relieved that it didn't break and that no money fell out, but she was more relieved to see that neither Phineas nor Ferb were hurt by it.

Seeing that there was no point to the arguing, she gave a loud finger whistle to shut the two brothers up, getting their attention quickly and calmly. "What are we doing?"

"Uh, we're fighting over an average Joe's yearly salary?" Phineas remarked. "Just like we've _been_ doing."

"No, I mean, "Why?" Why are we fighting like this? And over what? Money! What's happening to us?" Isabella walked slowly to them and grabbed them by the shoulders, embracing them both. "We didn't care about this stuff. We cared about building an elevator to Mars or making the world's greatest pop music video."

"Isabella, we still care about that stuff. Really, we do. I guess...I guess we just got caught up in the money. I mean, this is a lot we're dealing with. But..." He looked up at her, and then at his stepbrother. "I guess you're right. We shouldn't care about money. We should care about making each day of the summer the best-" He was cut off when his cellphone went off. "Hello? Yeah. Uh-huh. Alright. We'll be right over." He hung up and turned back to his friends. "That was the police station. The guy who lost the case just arrived to claim it. Come on. We better get over there."

So the three kids took the briefcase with them and headed over to the police station. Since their parents weren't home, they were forced to walk there. A half hour walk and the kids all finally arrived at the station. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was also there, but, since he didn't want to be recognized by the officer, he wore a trench coat, a hat, and a fake mustache.

Reluctant to give up the case, Phineas slowly put the case on the desk, 1) because he didn't want to see such a large amount of money go away, and 2) because it was heavy. "Here you go, officer." Phineas said, after saying his "goodbyes" to the money, and handing the case to the officer. "All $43,861. Just as you asked for."

"You know, kid, I must say, I'm impressed with you and your friends. Not everybody would give up this kind of money so easily unless they were rich." The officer said, giving them props for doing the right thing.

"Yes, little boy. Thank you so much for finding my suitcase full of money." Doofenshmirtz said, trying to disguise his voice, and doing horribly at it. His thick German accent combined with his efforts to disguise his voice made him sound like a 40-year old guy who just got hit in his privates with a baseball bat. "I still have no idea how it got away from me in the first place." He went to grab the case away from them, but he was stopped when the officer noticed something about him.

"Hey, have I seen you before?" He asked bluntly, making Doofenshmirtz begin to sweat.

"What? W-What are you talking about? You've never seen me beFORE-!" As he was turning around the leave with the case, he tripped on his own coat, and fell. As a result, his coat ripped open and his hat & mustache fell off, revealing his true identity. He tried to cover his face with the case so the officer wouldn't suspect anything, leaving the three children confused. "Uh, heh...pay no attention to the man in the lab coat with the thick, German accent."

"Aw, that's OK, mister." Phineas said, trying to make him feel better, not knowing what was actually going on. "You don't have to hide your face. So what if you're ugly. You shouldn't be ashamed. I mean, I have a triangle for a head and I'm not afraid to admit it. Besides, I've got an awesome stepbrother and an equally-as-awesome girlfriend to back it up-"

"HANDS UP, PUNK!" The officer screamed to Doofenshmritz as he tackled him to the ground. But Phineas was so scared out of his mind because of his booming voice that he put his hands up too.

"Not you, Phineas." Isabella told him as Phineas calmed down and put his hands down. The officer picked Doofenshmirtz up and put him in handcuffs. "Officer, what's going on?"

"This guy flaked out on his community service! He had to serve 200 hours and he's only served 30 minutes." He explained to the kids. "Apparently, he spent it hosting some lame music video countdown or something." **(A/N: P.S., I loved "Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown!)**

"Officer, I can explain what happened."

"Tell it to the judge, punk. Let's go!" He led him out of the room. "Stay in school, kids." Was the last thing he said to them before he led Doofenshmirtz to a prison cell. The kids were all left there to ponder on what had happened throughout the day. The looked at each other for a moment.

"Well, that was weird." Isabella noted.

"It certainly was." Phineas agreed as Ferb nodded. "Oh well. I think we can call this day a success." As they were heading out of the station, they heard a growling noise. Phineas looked down and saw his and Ferb's pet platypus there, walking beside them. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 22b!**

**Next Time: Baseball Fever hits Danville, and it spells nothing but trouble for the Fireside Girls.**

**Expected Update: Don't expect the next episode until at least August 7th. I'll be really busy gearing up for the upcoming special.**

**A/N: "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs To You!" premieres August 2nd on Disney XD and August 6th on Disney Channel! Also, tune in to Radio Disney everyday until then as they premiere new songs from the special.**


	30. 23: Tri State Area World Series

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 23: Tri-State Area World Series**

**Episode Summary: The Girls Scout Boys Scot Annual Charity Baseball Game has come around, and this year, it's the Fireside Girls' turn to shine. And what better opponents to play than opponents that are good, especially if their opponents are coached by none other than Dr. Doofenshmirtz? Meanwhile, Perry goes on a mission to find their real opponents, and Lawrence goes on a game show, and the results, well, aren't that pleasing.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was another beautiful day in Danville. If you ignored the clouds, it was fine. Phineas and Ferb weren't going to let that stop them from having another glorious day of summer. They were already in the front yard, planning their day. "So Ferb, what do you want to do? We can either learn how to sky-dive by building us a helicopter and traveling it into the sky, or practice our foreign language skills by..." He trailed off when he noticed Isabella coming out of her house with a baseball uniform on that looked a lot like her Fireside Girls uniform, and carrying a baseball bat & glove. "Hey, what's Isabella doing?"

TThe two boys stood up, left their blueprints on the ground, and ran over to her to see what she was up to. "Hey, Isabella. What'cha doin'?" Phineas asked her, using her infamous catchphrase and making her laugh.

"Hi Phineas." She reached out and kissed him. "I'm just off to the annual Boys Scouts Girl Scouts Charity Baseball Game."

"Boy Scouts Girls Scouts Charity Baseball Game?"

"Yeah. Once a year, two scout troops, a boy scout, and a girl scout, are chosen to play in a baseball game, and any profits made from the game go to a charity of the winning team's choice. This year, the Fireside Girls are competing and we've chosen to give our profits to the Haiti Relief Fund, so they can get back on track after their devastating Earthquake."

"They had an Earthquake?"

"Yeah. Like, seven months ago. Where were you?"

"I don't know. I guess I was swamped with school work. Oh well, can Ferb and I come watch your game?"

"Sure. I suppose that's OK. Come on, let's go." And so the three kids began heading off to the Danville Baseball Stadium to watch the Fireside Girls square off against whatever boy scout troop was chosen to play. "Hey, maybe we could bring Perry. He loves baseball."

"I don't think so, Phineas. Pets aren't allowed in the stadium. It's not my rule. It's the city's rule."

"Dang, that stinks. Oh well, it doesn't matter. He's probably already disappeared to wherever he goes to everyday."

When the kids all arrived at the baseball stadium, they met up with the Fireside Girls, who were all also in baseball uniform, ready to play some baseball. Their coach, as well as founder of the Fireside Girls, Eliza M. Feyersied, was also there. "Hey guys. You all ready for the big game?"

Each Fireside Girl gave a different response, but they were all basically the same: They were ready and raring to go.

"Great! So, who are we playing against?"

"We're not exactly sure yet. The other team hasn't shown up yet."

"Well that isn't good sportsmanship. It isn't very cool to forfeit on a charity game, is it?" But just as they were all going to assume that the other team had flaked out, they heard some people coming into the stadium. The kids all looked in that direction, and suddenly opened their eyes in surprise as to what they saw. They saw Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz coming through the door, along with many of what appeared to be super-humans. No joke, their muscles were huge, they were tall, and they looked like they could knock a ball out of the park with their hands. "Whoa, who _are_ those guys?"

"I don't know. This is the first time _I've_ seen them." Adyson told her. "But they certainly don't look like any boy scout team I've ever seen before." As Doofenshmirtz and the team got closer to them, Isabella worked up the courage to talk to him.

"Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing here?" She asked firmly.

"What? Isn't this the annual Boy Scout Girl Scout Charity Baseball Game?" He asked a bit smugly.

"Yeah, but...wait, are you the Boys Scout team that's competing in today's game?"

"Yeah. We's _T__he_ _Icicles_." One of them, named Angus, said in a very masculine voice (a voice similar to that of **Boog** from **Fanboy and Chum Chum**) "You got a probelm with that, little missy?"

"Uh, n-no. No I don't. It's just that...aren't you guys a little old to be boy scouts?"

"What's your point, missy?" Angus said.

"Yeah, these guys aren't too old. Let's just say..I've put my scout troop through some last-minute intensive training." Doofenshmirtz interveined.

"_You're _their scoutmaster?"

"Um...sure?"

"Well, OK. But don't get too comfortable. We girls are tough and don't go down without a fight."

"I'm sure you are, but-" He was cut off rudely by Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Angus looked and was tough, but deep down, he was real gentlemen, brainwashed (not actually, but morally) by the evil scientist.

"Yeah, yeah, you princesses can think whatever you want. We're still gonna whoop you into the ground! Get ready for the beating of your life, girls!" He shouted to them smugly.

"Bring it on, punk. The Fireside Girls are always prepared. And when it's over and done, we're gonna be the ones whooping your sorry butts!" Upon hearing Isabella utter the word "butts", Phineas winced, still a bit traumatized over the previous involvements with this issue. He then covered his own butt while taking a step away from Isabella. "Right Phineas?" She looked to her side and saw Phineas standing a step back. "Oh for the love of...Phineas, get back up here."

"Not if you're gonna use my name and the B-word in the same sentence every time you're around me."

"The B-word...oh Phineas, how many times do we have to go over this?"

"Enough chit chat. Let's play ball!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, followed by a simultaneous cheer by his team.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere out in the Tri-State Area, Linda & Lawrence were just arriving at ABC studios, where they were taping an episode of "Jeopardy". Linda pulled up to the parking lot, parked their car, and started making their way inside.

"I can't believe we're actually here." Lawrence said, barely able to contain his excitement. He was chosen to be a contestant on "Jeopardy" and was excited about it. "I'm about to make my acting debut on Saturday Night Live!" The problem, though, was that he believed that he wasn't actually invited to compete on Jeopardy, and instead, he was actually invited to be an "extra" in the filming of a new episode of "Saturday Night Live".

"Saturday Night Live? Lawrence, what are you talking abo-"

"Oh, I can see it now, Linda, darling. I'm gonna be the next "Tom Hanks" if this all goes well." He started bragging, all stemming from excitement from the fact that he was going to be on TV while Linda sat in the audience.

"Uh, sure, Lawrence. Whatever you need to tell yourself." She wasn't sure whether or not to tell her husband that he was really on Jeopardy and not on a Jeopardy ski for SNL. These thoughts continued to conflict her as they entered the building and Lawrence was led into the studio where he would be competing. Linda took her seat in the audience and continued to consider whether or not she should try again to convince him. Eventually, her gut told her to do so, so she dialed Lawrence's cellphone quickly. It took a few rings for the man to pick up.

"_Hello?_"

"Lawrence, I really think you should re-consider." She said in a pleading tone. "Look, you should know that this _isn't_ Saturday Night Live. You're actually on Jeopardy. You're actually going to meet Alex Trebek. And, you're actually going to have to answer advanced trivia questions. Well, technically, they're already going to give you the answers. You have to give the question. I don't think-"

"_Linda, Linda, darling. Relax. Everything is fine. I'll just give a bunch of random, stupid answers and make fun of his mother like Sean Connery does_."

"You do understand that the celebrities rarely actually play as themselves on SNL, right?"

"_Yes, I know_."

"OK, then. Well, if you're so sure you want to do it, then I guess I can't stop you. But don't say I didn't warn you."

"_Warn me about what?_"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at home, Perry was sleeping in his bed by Phineas's bed. Knowing that nobody was home, he opened his eyes and put on his agency fedora. Then he walked over to Ferb's bed, and crawled under it. There was a hole in the floor, a hole which led right down to his lair. He squeezed into it and slid down, taking his seat and turning on his monitor.

"Good morning, Agent P." Monogram said on the other side. "Nice entrance, by the way. Looks like you finally got the hang of that "Under the bed" tube, thing. I still can't believe we had that thing installed."

"I thought it was a good idea at the time." Carl, off-screen, blurted out.

"Quiet, you! Anyway, Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. Today is the annual Boy Scout Girl Scout Charity Baseball Game. As part of his mandatory community service, he was forced to sit in as substitute coach for one of the scouts, the..." He took out a paper and read from it. "Icicles. Icicles. Weird name. Anyway, guess what he did? He took them in his car and dumped them off in a desert somewhere. Can you believe it? The nerve of that guy. Dumping Icicles into the desert like that." He could hear Carl snickering a bit in the background. "Carl!"

"What? You don't get it? See, Icicles are a form of-"

"I get the irony, Carl. I just don't think it's very funny. I mean, these are grade-schoolers we're talking about, lost in the desert with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Agent P, you've got to rescue those kids and get them to the stadium soon. Who knows what will happen if Doofenshmirtz's team should win. As for the coach...well, we're not exactly sure what happened to him. But don't worry. Leave him to us. You just focus on the kids. Good luck." The monitor went off as Perry went on his way to find the kids. He was given a tracking device on his way out as a way of helping him find the kids.

And speaking of baseball, the game was about to begin at the stadium. Both teams were preparing their strategies as the game commenced.

"Chief, how are we supposed to beat these guys? They're mean, they're tough, and they smell like wet gym socks." Holly told them all. Everybody except for Isabella was concerned. She was just focused on having fun.

"I know, but it doesn't really matter. We're not here to focus on winning." She reminded her troop. "We're here because we want to raise money for a charity. We want to help those poor people in Haiti get back on their feet after that devastating Earthquake practically took their lives away from them."

"Yes, but don't you remember?" Gretchen reminded her, as it appeared that she had forgotten. "We actually have to win the game for the money to go there."

"Oh that's right. I almost forgot."

"Don't worry. Ferb and I can help." Phineas jumped in. "We can soup up your gloves & bats so they can sense oncoming balls and either hit home-runs or catch them, depending on the situation." He turned to his stepbrother. "Come on, Ferb. Let's get to work." But he was stopped when Isabella grabbed his arm.

"Whoa, whoa there, Phineas. What do you think you're doing?" She asked sternly, eying him down, making him a bit shaky. She put her hands on her hips, so he could tell she was serious.

"Um, we were gonna help you guys win."

"I appreciate the thought, but I can't let you or Ferb help us like that."

"What? Why not?"

"Because if we won because of technology and not because of skill, we would be disgracing the name of the Fireside Girls. We don't want to win this game unfairly. Right, Ms. Feyersied?"

"Right, Isabella. Good for you." She said, turning to the boys. "Sorry, boys."

"OK, if that's the way you feel, then I guess we have to support it." Phineas conceded, or so it seemed for the moment. "Good luck out there."

"Thanks." Isabella leaned in and kissed Phineas before heading out into the field to start the game. The "Icicles" were batting first and the Fireside Girls were in the field. As the first batter, named Charlie, stepped up to the plate for the Icicles, Adyson, who was the Fireside Girls's pitcher, prepared herself for the first pitch as the commentators begin to commentate.

"_Good morning, Danville. It's a beautiful day for charity baseball isn't it?_" One of the commentators, Gary Thorne, said. "_I'm Gary Thorne, along with John Kruk and Steven Phillips, reporting live from the Danville Baseball Stadium."_

_"A wonderful day it is, Gary."_ Steven Phillips interveined. "_And today, it's the annual Boy Scout Girl Scout Charity Baseball Game, and I am proud to be here commentating all the action with you."_

_"Today, we've got Fireside Girls troop 46231 playing against Icicle Boys troop 65430."_ John Kruk continued. "_And it is sure to be a great match today, as these are two of the toughest scouting troop baseball teams, so I'm sure we can expect great things today." _Adyson threw the first pitch. "_And here's the wind-up." _It was a fastball, and it was right down the middle. But the guy didn't even swing. The umpire called it a strike. "_And it's a strike. Down the middle, too. I don't know why he didn't swing at it."_

_"Well, he must've been looking for something else, or I don't know. That easily could've been a home run." _Gary continued as Adyson winded up her famous "Change up" pitch. "_Here's the pitch."_ This time, it was way out to the side, but the guy swung anyway.

"STRIKE 2!" The ump called.

"_Another strike!" _Steven Phillips shouted over the mic. "_But this one was way out to the side. I don't know why he swung his bat that time. Now working with an 0-2 pitch, he's really going to have to be defensive." _Another pitch: This time, it was a curveball, and it was just a little bit outside of the box. But he swung anyway and it was called a strike. "_And strike 3. He's outta there."_

_"Boy what a swung. The pitch was just outside the box. He was trying to stretch for it. Just couldn't make it for the first out." _Gary Throne continued as the player left the field and headed back to the dugout, disappointed. The next player, Angus, took his place at the plate. "_And it's...Andrew "Angus" Hindenburg up at bat. Gee, I don't seem to have a record of him here. I'm not even sure if...oh, here comes the pitch." _Adyson threw the pitch, and even though it was below where it should be, he was still able to hit it. It was a hard hit, and it looked like it was going to go over Adyson's head. But she jumped up and caught it before it hit the ground. "_It's a smash over the plate, but Adyson makes the catch for the second out! Unbelieveable."_

_"These girls are really determined out here today, Gary."_ Kruk continued for him. "_They don't want to be pushed around and they're here to prove it. And up next, we have Bob Schneider up to bat. Again, no record on him. It seems as if there is no record on any of these boys, and yet they're on an actual boy scout troop."_

_"Very strange indeed." _Thorne said, as he stepped up to bat and Adyson prepared to pitch. _"The windup. And..."_ A slider called in as a strike. "_It's a strike."_ Another strike came after that before he hit the ball over to third. Gretchen caught it and threw it to first base towards Ginger, making the play well before the runner reached it. "_And a magnificent play to end the inning. No hits, no runs allowed, as the Fireside Girls make quick work of them."_

Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was watching from the dugout, wasn't please, but not worried either. "Hmm, short inning. Oh well, a minor setback. I still have a little ace up my sleeve just in case." He said viciously, pulling out a giant remote control, which control computer chips he had installed to his players, chips that would help drastically improve his players' skills.

* * *

Back at ABC studios, the taping of the day's episode of "Jeopardy" was about to begin. Everybody took their seats and began applauding as Alex Trebek, the host, stepped out, after being announced in.

"Thank you, and welcome to Jeopardy. Let's get right to it." Alex said as the categories appeared on the screen behind him. "And the categories for Jeopardy are: "Popular Music", "Famous Actors", "Animation", "World History", "Cosmetic Surgery", and finally, "Words that Rhyme with Dog". OK, Lawrence. You're in first position, so you get the first pick."

"Alright, Alex. Whatever you say." Lawrence, still under the assumption that he was SNL, decided to play around with Alex. "I'll take Cosmetic Surgery for $16,000, please." Followed by a bit of laughter by the audience, groaning by Linda, and a serious punch in the arm from his opponent to the left.

"Um, I'm sorry, but we don't seem to have that category with such a high amount up for grabs."

"Oh, of course. What was I thinking?" He was still trying to play him, but Alex wasn't amused. "Fine, I'll take Cosmetic Surgery for $1,000."

"And the answer it..." He held up his card. "This form of surgery is famous for its design to help overweight patients lose weight at an unrealistic and quick rate." Lawrence buzzed in first. "Lawrence?"

"What is 1939?" Again, the audience began to laugh, only provoking his actions even more. Trebek groaned.

"No." The contestant two to his left buzzed in. "Cathy?"

"What is Liposuction?"

"Correct." And $1,000 went to her. "Pick a category."

_Wait, what is she doing?_ Lawrence thought to himself. _She's not supposed to give right answers in this skit. Nobody ever gives the right answer on these sketches. What's going on here?_

"Famous Actors, for $200."

"OK, and the answer is..."

But before he could read the answer, Lawrence buzzed in. "What is a Cockapoo?"

Trebek groaned and cupped his eyebrows. "This is not going to be fun."

* * *

Back at the stadium, two innings had gone by. Neither team had scored yet, at the Icicles were up to bat. As a player took his position, Doofenshmirtz, still in the dugout, was activating his secret weapon. "OK, boys. Time to take things up a notch." He said to nobody in particular as he turned on his machine. Instantly, each of his players, who somehow didn't notice him, felt a small shock in the back of their necks, and instantly, their baseball skills improved.

"_And welcome back to 2K Sports." _Gary Thorne began commentating._ "As we enter the 3rd inning, it's still scoreless on both sides." _The player stepped up to the bat and prepared to hit. Adyson, having thrown only 13 pitches by this point, was still going strong as she winded up her Fastball. "_The pitch. And..._" The batter hit the ball, and he didn't just drive it in. No, he slammed that sucker out of the park. "_And it's a big hit into center field. Center fielder Isabella Garcia-Shapiro's going after it. It's headed for the wall, and..._" Isabella slammed into the wall and fell to the ground as the ball went right over her head. "_Ooh, she doesn't make the play. And it's outta here, folks! The first home run of the game! A solo home run as the Icicles take the lead 1-0."_ The batter circled the plate as the girls looked on in total surprise.

"_I don't know what happened here, Gary."_ Kruk took over. "_It seems like this team just suddenly got some serious baseball skills that helped them take the lead."_ The next batter took his place as Adyson prepared the pitch. Her composure had suffered from the home run the last player got. "_Looks like Adyson Sweetwater is starting to get nervous out there."_

_"Well, when you give up a homer like that, it's no surprise." _Phillips added. _"And the pitch." _Adyson threw her pitch. It was a Fastball to the far left. It would've been a ball, but the player was too anxious and swung, and actually hit it. "_And it's a line drive to left field. It hits the ground. That's gonna be a base hit. And left fielder Milly is gonna try and make the throw as the player tries to stretch it." _Milly threw it to second base, over to Holly, who tried to tag the runner, but was too late. "_Oh, and not in time."_

_"He is safe at second."_ Kruk continued.

The inning continued with 5 more hits from the Icicles team, resulting in two more runs before the Fireside Girls were finally able to get them out. "_And that's the third out, to end the inning." _Thorne said. "_Tough inning for the Fireside Girls. They give up five hits and three runs total, and now trail the Icicles 3-0. Let's hope they can make a comeback from this."_

The bottom of the third inning started, and before even a few minutes passed, the Fireside Girls had two outs against them, having gotten no one on base. The first out came when Ginger was struck out, and the second out came after Katie hit a fly ball that was caught by the left fielder.

Now it was Isabella's turn. They were counting on her to get them on the board this inning. _"And now, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro to the plate." _Phillips commentated. "_Boy, she's in a real hole now, isn't she?"_

_"Yes she is, Steven."_ Throne continued. "_Two outs, nobody on base. And her team is down by 3. Something has to happen soon. They can't wait for the last innings. They need to get on board now."_ The first pitch came, and...Isabella smacked it off her bat, breaking it in the process. "_She slams on that ball and breaks her bat! It's going towards right field!"_ She threw the remains of her bat aside and started sprinting off to first base. The right fielder darted for it. But it was too high up and it went right over the wall. "_And it is outta here! The Fireside Girls are on the board!"_ Isabella casually jogged around the bases, and as she was coming around, she blew a kiss towards Phineas in the dugout. He blew a kiss back to her before holding up a flag in his left hand that had her face on it, and a pink foam finger in his right hand. While they were changing sides, Phineas changed into a white shirt that said "Isabella Garcia-Shapiro's #1 fan".

"You rock, Isabella!" Phineas shouted, waving his flag in the air. As she entered the dugout, she ran up to him and laughed.

"Oh, you are just the sweetest thing, you!" She said embracing him tightly and kissing him, observing the flag and the shirt. "And cute, too."

"Awesome job out there. You knocked it out of the park."

"Now let's just hope Milly can keep the pace up. After that amazing home run, I'm sure team morale is at an all-time high, and that would result in..." Ferb was instantly cut off when Thorne spoke over the microphone again.

"_And that's strike 3! That's going to end the inning."_

_"And a tough inning again for the Fireside Girls." _Kruk continued. "_But at least now they're on the board. That solo home run Isabella Garcia-Shapiro hit is really going to give them confidence now as we enter the 4th."_

_

* * *

_Meanwhile, somewhere, out in the desert off the edge of the Tri-State Area, Perry was looking desperately for the real Icicles Boy Scout troop, who had been stranded by Doofenshmirtz earlier. He was searching high and low for the boys, but there was no sight of them. He wasn't really worried about their safety because the Danville Desert was pretty much deserted. But then his watch went off, with his boss on the other line.

"Agent P, there's no time to be dilly-dallying." He said sternly. "Remember, we're dealing with 8-10 year old boys. They can't go very long without food or water. You have to find them soon, before it's too late." The line went dead as Perry refocused himself.

Speeding up his jet pack, he suddenly spotted the boys huddling near a cactus. They appeared hot, tired, sweaty, and scared, having nearly used up all of their water supplies. Perry rushed over to them on his jet pack. "Hey! It's a raccoon on a jet pack!" One of them yelled, obviously unaware that he was a platypus. Ignoring that, Perry landed his jet pack close to them, and took out several bottles of water, which the boys immediately started gorging on.

"Oh, thank you, mysterious raccoon!" The same boy yelled.

"Water never tasted so good."

"It's like I died and went to heaven."

"I think a scorpion bit me."

With the boys freshly hydrated, Perry, with a push of a button on a remote that he happened to pull out, he transformed his jet pack into his hover car, and ordered all of the boys into the craft. "Cool, it's the flying car of the future...today!" **(An obvious reference to "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted")**

Ignoring their childish comments, he piled them all in and started it up, with his mission now to be trying to find his way back to Danville. He had been traveling around in circles for the past hour so he actually forgot where the coast of Danville was. And the kids weren't exactly liking the fact that he was just circling around the desert.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Raccoon?" One of them bravely said. "But why are you just circling around like this? Shouldn't we be going back to Danville? We do have a game, after all." Perry scribbled something down on a notepad and handed it to the kid. The kid read it out loud. "'First of all, I do not know where Danville is. I have been looking for you guys all day and have lost my way. So get off my back before I decide to drop you all on your heads. And for the record, I am a platypus, not a raccoon.' Um, what is a platypus?"

Perry looked at the camera before slapping his forehead in frustration.

* * *

Back in Danville, Lawrence was still having the time of his life messing up question after question on Jeopardy. He was still convinced it was SNL, and was soon in for a rude awakening.

"OK, players, we are now in Double Jeopardy. Lawrence, you are in the red by $18,000 (that's -$18,000 if you didn't catch it) so you get the first pick."

"Thank you Alex." Still determined to make the "most" of his appearance, he decided to go with an easy category. "I'll take Famous Movie Trilogies for $2,000."

"And the answer is...this second movie in the trilogy sees the web-slinging hero struggle between balancing his personal life and his superhero life." Lawrence buzzed in. "Lawrence?"

"Cabbage." And once again, he gave an idiotic answer, causing the audience to breakout into laughter. Alex groaned.

"No, Lawrence. And again, I remind you, all answers must be in the form of a question." Another buzz, this time from the man to his immediate left. "Adam?"

"What is Spider-man 2?"

"Correct. You pick."

"Uh...Famous Movie Trilogies for $400 please."

_**8 minutes later...**_

An alarm rang, signaling that the Double Jeopardy Round had ended. "And that buzzer means that time is up for this round. And before we move onto Final Jeopardy, let's take a quick look at the scores: Adam, you're in first with $20,700. Cathy, you're in second with $7,800. And Lawrence..." He shook his head as he slowly approached him. Lawrence was grinning like an idiot. "With an unprecedented -$54,000, I'm afraid you're in last place, and since you're going into Final Jeopardy with a negative score, I'm afraid we're gonna have to say goodbye to you." He put his hand out for Lawrence to shake, but Lawrence was quite surprised by this.

"Say goodbye? What do you mean?" To his knowledge of SNL (which amounted to a resounding nothing, actually) he had never seen an episode where players with negative scores were kicked out. Ironically, he had never seen a real episode of Jeopardy, but every Celebrity Jeopardy skit ever made.

"Well, the rules dictate that no player with negative scores can advance to Final Jeopardy."

"But...that doesn't make any sense. In every episode of SNL I've seen (a total of 17 to be exact, out of thousands produced over 35 seasons) players that end up with negative scores always go on. Heck, all the players are in the red."

"But this isn't SNL. This is..." And suddenly, with the help of a record scratching sound effect, it all clicked in for Alex. "Oh, I see what's going on."

"See what?"

"You think you're on Saturday Night Live, don't you?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Wow, this explains so much." The guy to his left said to himself.

"Lawrence, I don't know how to break this to you. Oh who am I kidding? First of all, today is Wednesday."

Lawrence began sweating, bracing for the worst. "OK..."

"Yeah, and this is ABC studios. Saturday Night Live tapes with NBC."

"Um...I-I don't understand. What are you..."

"You're not on Saturday Night Live. You're on an actual episode of 'Jeopardy'. And you are $54,000 in the red."

"So let me see if I have this right." Lawrence had to be absolutely certain that he knew what was going on. "I'm not on SNL. I'm on Jeopardy. I got all those questions wrong just to make the show funny when in reality I was only making an idiot of myself."

"That's correct."

"Oh dear, Linda is going to kill me."

"And because you are so far in the red..." Alex saw this as an opportunity, an opportunity he might not get again. "The rules dictate that we take away that amount of money from you."

"I beg pardon?"

"Since you're $54,000 in the red, we must take away $54,000 from your checking, your savings...wherever we can get it from, we'll take it."

"I don't remember that being a rule on this show." The guy to Lawrence's left said, noting that it really wasn't a rule. Alex just said that so he take advantage of the gullible lug Lawrence was.

"That rule was put into play yesterday." Alex quickly fixed the problem, as the guy settled down. Alex looked back at Lawrence, who, by this point, was depressed beyond belief.

"Well, this is officially the worst day of my life." He said out loud, sulking onto his podium. But just as he was about to leave, a big, yellow bus crashed through the studio, making everybody jump out of their skins in terror. After about a few seconds, an old man in a black suit with glasses on jumped out of the bus, and started happily at everybody before breaking out spontaneously into a silly dance to the tune of a song. (**For everybody who hasn't caught on yet, this is Mr. Six, mascot to Six Flags, and he is dancing to a remix version of the song used to promote Six Flags. To know more what I'm talking about, see the _Robot Chicken_ skit - _Mr. Six Pays a Visit_.**)

Lawrence immediately cheered up, as he was invited on by Mr. Six to get on the bus, and the two drove off to Six Flags. Everybody who was left at the scene stared at Alex, who couldn't think of anything to say about the situation. So, the camera crews simply cut to commercial. Knowing that the situation wouldn't be getting better anytime soon, Linda decided to get up and walk out.

* * *

At the stadium, the Fireside Girls were still struggling to keep up with the "Icicle Boys". It was now the top of the 6th inning with 2 outs and bases loaded. The Icicles were up 5-3 and now it was the team's best hitter up to plate. Phineas & Ferb were having a hard time watching the game continue because it meant the girls would be massacred, so to speak.

"Ferb, this is getting painful." Phineas said to his stepbrother. "I don't want to see Isabella and her team lose this game. We've got to do something to help them."

"But you heard what she said. She doesn't want us to intervene with the game and do anything that'll give them an unfair advantage."

"Ferb, what's worse? Getting yelled at by a girl, or seeing them cry?" Ferb pondered on that for a moment. "That's what I thought. Now come on. Let's get to work. The inning is going to be over soon and they'll be up to bat. We gotta make sure they have the best chance of winning."

So Phineas & Ferb got to work on their baseball bats. They designed computer chips that, when turned on, would give the Fireside Girls enhanced baseball abilities. It was much like the computer chips Dr. Doofenshmirtz design, but the kids didn't know that, so they weren't aware they were ripping off his idea. While they were busy creating and installing the chips into the baseball bats, the Icicles were able to score another run off of a Walk before finally being retired by Holly when she caught a fly ball in right field.

"_And another tough inning for the Fireside Girls as they give up another run."_ Gary Thorne said over the microphone.

"Oh no. They're done already. We've gotta hurry." Phineas said, rushing to get his last chip in.

"_Now the Fireside Girls have some major ground to cover as the Icicles lead it 6-3."_

The girls all piled into the dugout to grab their bats. Phineas & Ferb quickly stepped away from the bats so they wouldn't look suspicious. "Go get 'em, girls!" Phineas cheered, so as to look like he was still on their side. Ignoring the fact that he sounded like a total idiot, Gretchen stepped up to the plate. Phineas was confident that his & Ferb's invention would work to their advantage.

"_And here's the pitch._" And he was right, as Gretchen hit the ball into the middle. But instead of going up in the air, it just went straight, and the center fielder missed it, giving her the chance to get a double. "_And it's a line drive down center field. He can't make the play, giving Gretchen a double._

"Yes! I knew it!" Phineas shouted, almost blowing his cover.

"Knew what?" Ginger inquired.

"Uh...that you girls would make a comeback. You're just like that. You know, when the going gets tough, the tough get going." Lucky for him, the girls bought his lie. Ginger was next to step up to the plate.

"_Well, the girls are in a good position right now." _Phillips said over the microphone. "_No outs, a man on second, you know you're getting yourself in a good position to score." _The pitcher threw a pitch. "_And the pitch..."_ Ginger smashed it down to right field, barely making it over the foul line. Gretchen took off to third base. When she saw that she had plenty of time, she darted for home plate, making it with time to spare. "_And she's in. That's a run scored. Ginger goes to second, and Gretchen scores a run, cutting the lead down to 2."_

The fans were going wild, as were the Fireside Girls as they welcomed her back into the dugout. Next up was Milly. _"No outs, 1 run scored, and a man on second. They're running on pure adrenaline now, but it seems to be paying off."_

_"That's right, Steven." _Kruk continued. "_And up next, it's the youngest Fireside Girl ever inducted into the Fireside Girls organization...Melissa!" _**(The Labyrinth) **Melissa stepped up to the plate and readied herself. The pitcher (Angus) laughed.

"I don't think this stadium's the place for someone as shrimpy as you, little girl." He said smugly.

"Don't underestimate me." With fire in her eyes, she gripped her bat tightly. "Bring it."

"With pleasure." He wound up his pitch to be as fast and strong as he desired. But when he threw it, he was so focused on strength and speed that he completely missed the target. Going at 115 miles an hour, the ball slammed right into Melissa's face, knocking her to the ground. Everybody gasped, including the pitcher. The only one who didn't seem phased by this was Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as he was laughing out loud in the dugout before racing out onto the field to rub it in her face. The pitcher also ran up to her, but to console her.

"Hey, kid, a-are you alright? I'm so sorry." He started apologizing hysterically. "I wasn't controlling where I was pitching, and-"

"AH HA HA HA!" Doofenshmirtz laughed up close in Melissa's face. "In your face, you snotty little brat! He got you good!" Not liking the sportsmanship that he was showing, the home plate umpire stepped in.

"Hey buddy, watch yourself. I don't like your tone."

"Well, guess what I don't like? Your face! I grew tired of talking to gorillas yesterday." The crowd "ooh'd" after hearing this. The umpire was growing angrier.

"Keep that up, and I'll throw you out!"

"Ooh, I'm so scared." He said mockingly. "Mr. 'Big, Fat, Tough Umpire' is gonna throw me out? On what grounds!"

"How about for being an annoying pest!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as he grabbed the big remote that was in Doofenshmirtz's back pocket and threw it against the dugout wall. On impact, it smashed into hundreds of pieces.

"NOOOOOOOO! My remote! I need that! I need that to control the computer chips in my players so they become better players!" And after realizing that he had screamed out his entire evil plan, he covered his mouth and hoped that nobody had heard him. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

"W-What?" The catcher said in disbelief.

"You mean to tell me you've been mindlessly controlling these boys as they play baseball?"

"No, that's not entirely true. I haven't been 'mind controlling' them. I've simply been improving their skills with the flick of a joystick."

"Well, do you want to know what I'm going to do with a flick of my leg?"

"Is this a trick question?"

Before Dr. Doofenshmirtz could continue with his retaliation, he found himself being dragged out of the stadium to a cheering crowd, and being kicked out, literally, of the stadium. Landing on his head, he struggled to stand up before finally regaining his composure. Straightening out his back as best as he could, he looked over at the stadium and shook his fist angrily into the air. "You haven't heard the last of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz! I shall return...or not." He checked his watch. "It's getting kinda late. Eh, I'll sleep on it."

Back in the stadium...

"So that man, whoever he was, he convinced you guys that you were going to play in a baseball game for loads of money, and then broke into your house and bugged you?" Phineas made sure the facts were all correct.

"Yep, that's exactly the story." Angus told them. "I have no idea what he did with the real Icicles Boys, if they even _are_ real."

"So...now what?" Isabella inquired. "I mean, we are in the middle of a game, and I would like to finish it without too much hassle."

"Well, I guess that would be OK."

"Problem is, though, we can't." Another player stepped in the conversation. "See, we're not really baseball players."

"Yeah, we kinda figured that out in the first inning, until you guys started killing us."

"Actually, we're volunteer workers. We go around town and we donate our spare time to helping those in need."

"This week, we're working in a soup kitchen." He checked his watch and realized that they were all so late for their schedules appointments. "And wow, we are so late. We should've been there over 2 1/2 hours ago!"

"Oh jeez, our boss is gonna kill us!"

"Wait, if it's volunteer work, then why are you guys so worried about showing up on time?" Phineas inquired. Suddenly they all started questioning that comment. But without saying a word, they all left the stadium quietly to who knows where. The kids didn't even bother to look in that direction. "Well, that was weird."

"And quite rude." Ferb added.

"It's too bad. I kinda wanted to finish this game." Isabella pouted, though she was just playing around with them.

"I wanted you guys to finish the game, too." Phineas said. "Especially since Ferb and I fiddled around with your bats and gloves and made them so you guys would be better at baseball after the 6th inning." And on that note, Isabella, along with everybody else turned to Phineas. Isabella had specifically told him not to fiddle around with their stuff because she wanted to win the game fairly.

"Phineas, I thought I told you guys not to do that! I wanted to win this game fairly."

"And I wanted you guys to win, no matter what. I guess it was just really hard for me to watch you struggle out there, and that's why I talked Ferb into doing it."

"Well, I guess I'd be madder if it weren't for the fact that the same thing happened to the other team."

"So does this mean you're disappointed in me?" Phineas asked; Isabella nodded her head. "Mad?" This time, she shook her head. "Wanna come over to our house to hang out for a while?" She nodded again. "Cool. Let's go."

* * *

But upon arriving back at the Flynn-Fletcher residence, or should I say, where the Flynn-Fletcher residence once stood, the kids were all baffled and flabbergasted to discover that the entire house had been taken from them. "Wh-Wh-What..." Phineas was the most shocked, as he saw his angry & disgusted mother sitting on the floor. "What happened! Where's our stuff! WHERE'S OUR HOUSE!"

"You can blame your father." She said flatly & angrily. "He thought he was taping a Jeopardy sketch for SNL, so he deliberately got all the questions wrong, even the daily doubles. And he only found out after he was eliminated at Final Jeopardy. As a result, Alex Trebek took all of our stuff until we can pay off the $54,000."

"And where is Dad now?" Phineas asked. "Don't tell me they took him, too."

"No. I wish they did, though. Nope, the Six Flags bus showed up and whisked him away to Six Flags. Who knows what he's up to at this time of day..." But just as she was about to continue, the Six Flags bus slowly pulled up to where the house once stood, and in moments, Lawrence exited the bus, wearing a Six Flags T-shirt and holding many Six Flags flags.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Six!" Lawrence shouted as he turned back to the bus one more time before turning back to his family. He had not even realized that the house had been reclaimed. "Hello, my wonderful family. What's for dinner to-" He stopped short immediately when he realized that the house was gone; the Jeopardy crew had claimed their money, as dictated by Linda's angry expression, as well as Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella's upset & confused expressions. "What?" After taking a good look around and figuring out what had happened, he knew he was in trouble. "Uh-oh."

"You mistook an actual game show for a comedy sketch again." Ferb said flatly as Linda grew angrier.

"Uh, I can explain!" He started panicking and thinking of a good lie so his family wouldn't be mad at him anymore. Sadly, he couldn't, as the evidence was all there. Or in this case, it wasn't. "Actually, I really can't."

"What are we going to do!"

"Don't worry, Phineas." Linda assured him. "I'm going to make some calls and we should have our house back by tonight." She said taking out her cellphone and beginning to dial a number as Lawrence took a seat next to Phineas.

"Don't worry, Dad. Things are going to work out. It's a good thing Perry isn't here. He hates being exposed like this." He took a quick look around and didn't see Perry anywhere. "Where _is_ he, anyway?"

"Who knows?" Isabella inquired. "Anyway, I gotta get home. Good luck with...this." Isabella stood up and slowly began walking home as Phineas, Ferb, & their parents waved goodbye to her.

"Bye, Izzy! Have a good night's sleep!" Phineas yelled to her. "I love you."

"I love you too!" She yelled back before going into her house, leaving the Flynn-Fletcher family exposed to the elements as the sky began turning pink.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the desert, the sun was still working well. Even though it was going down, it was beating down 100+ degree weather on Perry as well as the kids. Perry was still flying around in his hover car, trying to figure out where Danville was. The kids were getting very irritated very quickly.

"Come on, man!" One of the kids finally shouted after having taken a final sip of his water. "We've been out here for almost 4 hours! We wanna go home!"

Perry was about to turn around and retaliate by beating him up when suddenly, he saw up ahead his boss, Monogram, & Carl riding up in a hover car of their own.

"Agent P!" Monogram shouted as both cars slowed down. "We've received your distress signal, and we're here to lead you out of the desert." Perry chirped excitedly.

"Horray! We're saved!" One of the kids screamed before breaking out into cheering with the rest of them.

"Yes, yes, kids. We're here to rescue you. Just follow us if you want to live!" Monogram said before starting up his hover car and beginning to drive off. What Monogram meant was for Perry to use his hover car and follow them. But the kids were so ecstatic to finally get out of the desert that they didn't use their common sense. Instead, they all jumped out of Perry's car and started running after Monogram's car.

Perry contemplated going after the kids to lead them out of the desert after Monogram. But after the day he had, he decided that it wasn't worth the hassle, and simply decided to drive his hover car home to his family. And boy, he was in for a surprise when he arrived home to no house at all. He had a hard time finding a way to keep his cover sealed, but he finally managed to do so and returned to Phineas's side as his mindless pet.

**End of Episode 23!**

**Next Time: Love is not in the air when Phineas & Isabella's relationship hits a snag. Meanwhile, Stacy & Jeremy, Linda & Lawrence, as well as a surprise couple, go on a game show to test how strong their relationships truly are.**

**Expected Update: I'll try to have it up before the 13th, because I go on vacation on the 14th.**


	31. 24: Love on the Rocks

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 24: Love on the Rocks**

**Episode Summary: Ridden with guilt again, a stressed-out Phineas tries to make a date with Isabella the best day she's ever had. But when it seems like he's accompanied by an unappreciative Isabella, all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, Linda & Lawrence, and Stacy & Jeremy go on a Newlywed Game Show up against a surprise couple to see how strong their relationships truly are. Sorry, no Agent P side-plot this time.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was raining cats & dogs outside, and everyone was inside, getting some much needed and well deserved sleep. For many, it was very easy to drift off into sleep. But for others, more specifically, Phineas Flynn, it was much harder.

Phineas was tossing and turning in his bed. It wasn't even midnight and he was already having nightmares. He struggled to get the images out of his head. But he just couldn't.

_(Cue Dream)_

_Phineas found himself in the romantic town of Paris, France. Everything around him was in black and white. He, along with Isabella, who was approaching him angrily, were the only things that were in color._

_"Isabella!" He called out to her happily, but she didn't seem to be in any mood. "What do you think of the city of love?"_

_"The city of love?" She inquired bitterly, her tone of voice obvious from the first word. Phineas stepped back a little. "What's so great about the city of love! If it's truly about love, then why didn't **you** notice any of my signals and hints when we came here last year?"_

_"I-I don't know. I guess I was young back then. Young and clueless."_

_"More like young and stupid! If you couldn't notice me here, how am I supposed to believe that you would actually notice me back home?" She scoffed angrily and started storming the other way. "Get outta my face."_

_"Isabella, wait!" Letting a tear drip down his face, he ran after her, only to be stopped by her booming voice again. _

_"Don't follow me, Phineas! You're nothing but a stupid, dumb, ugly idiot who can't even figure out that their best friend has a crush on them! Leave me alone. I don't want to see you ever again!"_

_"But, Isabella..." As she stormed off, he felt the ground breaking beneath him. Soon he felt himself falling through into a bottomless pit. "ISABELLA!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, but when he looked up to find Isabella standing there, looking down at him, he completely broke apart when he saw her growl viciously and then turn around, without so much as saying a word. _

_(End Dream)_

Phineas screamed loudly and sat up in his bed. Sweat dripping from his forehead onto his bed, he looked at the clock: 12:16 PM. "Oh man, not again!" Phineas said to himself, going into a fetal position on the brink of tears. "I can't lose Isabella. I almost lost her once, and it was because I was stupid! I can't ever allow that to happen again!" He jumped out of bed, put on some clothes, grabbed Ferb's toolbox, and jumped out the window. I have to give Isabella the biggest, longest, funnest date a girl could ever have! Then she'll never leave me. She'll never want to leave me! NEVER!" He started laughing maniacally as he began working on what was going to be the greatest day of Isabella's life. But deep down, he was holding back emotional pain.

* * *

The next morning, Isabella awoke at 6:00 sharp to the sound of tapping at he window. She opened her eyes, yawned, and went to see what was going on. She opened her window to find Phineas there, in his regular clothes, throwing pebbles at her window.

"Phineas?"

"Morning, Isabella!" He waved to her, though it was a weak wave. He was visibly tired, having stayed up the entire night planning their perfect day. "What'cha doin'?"

"Just waking up. Phineas, you know it's 6 AM, right?"

"I know! But I have a perfect day planned for us. I mean, if you're up for it, of course." He crossed his arms together and tried to hold back his anxiety, which was building up ridiculously with each passing minute. His worst fear was that Isabella would say no.

"You mean, like, a _romantic _day? A day that I specifically said that you didn't have to give me?"

"Aw, come on. Don't be such a fuddy-duddy. It'll be fun!" His voice was beginning to crack as he was feeling the effects of the stress he was putting himself under.

"Alright." She closed her window and quickly got dressed. Then she ran outside to him and was greeted with a kiss. "But can I at least have breakfast first?"

"Already taken care of. Follow me." He took her hand and led her to his backyard. To her surprise, there was a big, long table set up for her, with all of her favorite foods waiting for her, cooked to perfection. "Breakfast is served."

"Oh my gosh, Phineas. This looks so amazing!" She gasped as she walked over to the table and observed the food. "This must've taken you half the night."

"Actually, it took me all night." He said with confidence, shaking a bit in his shoes from the lack of sleep. "But it was all worth it for you." He kissed her again and helped her into her seat. "I got a professional chef to cook all of your favorite foods for you, so anything you want, it's yours."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry. I already had breakfast. Now it's your turn. So dig in." He urged her, as he passed her a giant plate with a big stack of syrup-covered pancakes. She quickly took a bite out of them, and was amazed at how well they turned out. But after she looked over to her right and saw Phineas standing there, and saw that he was sweating, trembling, and his face was a bit pale, she found it much more difficult to enjoy the breakfast. "Go on. Enjoy it. It's your day."

"Uh...thanks." She said after swallowing her bite of pancake. _Oh boy. I hope he doesn't have anything too stellar or romantic planned for today. I've told him time and time again that I don't want him to do that._

_

* * *

_Meanwhile, somewhere out in the Tri-State Area, at a recording studio, a game show was taking place. Not just any game show. No, this was a revival of "The Newlywed Game". Linda & Lawrence, as well as Stacy & Jeremy were competing in it, along with a surprise couple.

"And now, here's your host..." The announcer shouted, getting the audience pumped up. "The star of "The Newlywed Game", Christian Potenza!" **(For those of you who don't know, he's the voice of Chris McLean in the "Total Drama" series)**

The audience went nuts as he came out to start the show. "Thank you, everybody. And welcome to "The Newlywed Game". Today, we have three couples who are here to test how well they really know each other. Let's meet our players. First up, we have a former 80's pop star married to an England Man who completely blew it yesterday on Trebek, all because he thought he was on SNL!" Lawrence shuddered at that thought as the audience started laughing & cheering. "Let's give it up for Linda & Lawrence Flynn-Fletcher." Linda waved gleefully to the audience. Lawrence didn't move at all.

"And next up, we have an all American family; a wife and mother of three children who likes to party a bit too much and a husband who comes from Ireland heritage who can't even count to 3. Please welcome Lois & Peter Griffin!" The audience cheered for them too. "And finally, our young, happy, dating couple: a man who is the lead guitarist in a band named after him - the conceited jerkface..." Jeremy cringed and stared angrily at Potenza. "And his girlfriend, who was once best friends with a girl whose soul purpose in life was to get her brothers in trouble. Now she likes to hang out at the mall, buy clothes, and ditch school. Here is Stacy Hirano and Jeremy Johnson!"

After the cheering & applause died down, Christian began the show. "OK, now for the first round, we are going to ask you a series of three questions. Now," Before the couples knew it, there was a big, wooden board popping up from their table and going in between them. "For this round, after we ask the question, it'll be the men's job to write down what they think their partner would say. Then, after the questions are asked, we'll remove the boards and we'll ask the woman the same question. If both partners give the same answer, it's worth 5 points."

"Now. First question. Men, what would you say is your partner's favorite Soap Opera." The men all wrote down their answers. "OK, question two. Men, what would you say is your partner's favorite hobby?" Again, they wrote their answers. "Question 3: Men, what would you say is your wife's favorite movie?" Again, they wrote their answers. "Alright then. Let's bring the boards down. And now, we'll start with the Flynn-Fletcher couple. We'll start with question 1. Linda, what is your favorite Soap Opera?"

"Days of Our Lives, hands down. I love Alison Sweeny's work." She answered proudly.

"OK, and your husband said..." Lawrence held up his card. "Wipeout. Dude, Wipeout isn't a Soap Opera."

"It isn't?"

"Nope. It's a game show. And no offense, but I really don't think that you should be bringing up game shows considered you totally bombed on your game show appearance yesterday."

"Thank you, Christian."

"You're welcome. OK, next, the Griffins. Lois, what is your favorite Soap Opera?"

"I'd have to say Days of Our Lives, too." Lois answered.

"And Peter's response was..." Peter held up his card. "Who is "Kimbo Slice"?" The audience got a good laugh at that. Peter, as usual, was confused. "OK, first off, dude, you don't have to give your answers in the form of a question. Just ask the British guy over here." The audience once again laughed, to Lawrence displeasure.

"Uh-huh. OK, get it all out. We all know that I screwed up."

"Dude, you screwed up big time! Anyway, no points for the Griffin couple. Now, we move to Stacy & Jeremy. Stacy?"

"Uh, this is a tough one, but I'd have to say "As The World Turns." Stacy gave her answer, to Jeremy's distress, simply because it wasn't what he thought it would be.

"And Jeremy said..." Jeremy held up his card. "General Hospital."

"General Hospital? I've never even heard of that!"

"Oh, but it's such a good drama. You'd love if it you would give it a chance."

"Isn't that your favorite Soap Opera?"

"Yeah. So what's your point?" Confused and dazed, Stacy and Jeremy both turned back to Christian.

"OK, so no points for any of our teams after this question. Luckily, we still have two more for this round. Question 2: We asked the men what they thought was your favorite hobby. So, Linda, what is your favorite hobby?"

"Gardening." She said proudly, to Lawrence's charign.

"And Lawrence's response was..." He held up his card hesitantly. "'Calling her oldest daughter a crazy psychopath and a bunch of other names while she is trying to tell her about the boys' schemes and is and always has been right." Upon putting his card down, he was met with an unhappy and rather shocked glare by Linda.

"Lawrence! How could you?"

"Well if you didn't want me to bring it up, you shouldn't have called her that or mocked her to your friends."

"That was before I knew that she was right all along."

"Yes, and then you went all berserk on your sons and made them run away by telling them that had always loved Candace more than them." The audience gasped, as well as Potenza.

"But I apologized right after!"

"But that didn't fix the fact that Candace still has a thing against you."

"Hey, lovebirds! Save the quadrilling for later. I've got a show to run." Potenza shouted, stopping Lawrence & Linda right away. "Now, onto Peter & Lois. Lois, what is your favorite hobby?"

"Um...I'd have to say watching "The View"?"

"Seriously? 'Cause that show sucks. Anyway, Peter said..." Peter held up his card. "What is Yahtzee, the 18th president of Germany?" Again, the audience laughed at this. Peter still didn't understand why, being the idiot that he was. Lois was beginning to grow frustrated.

"Peter..."

"What?"

"Yahtzee has nothing to do with the question!"

"Yes it does! It's a a game, so it could count as a hobby."

"But "Yahtzee" is no 18th president of Germany, is it?"

"I don't know what seven of those words were."

"Moving on." Potenza interrupted, moving to Stacy & Jeremy. "Stacy?"

"My favorite hobby? Hmm, I'd have to say going to the mall."

"OK. Stacy says going to the mall. Jeremy said..." Jeremy held up his card. "Bango-Ru's. OK, just what are Bango-Ru's."

"They're these little stuffed animals you make online. And..." She turned to Jeremy. "That is _not_ my favorite hobby."

"But you talked about it for a whole week last year."

"Keyword: last year. Jeremy, that was a fad. The mall is forever. You'd know that if you were a girl like me."

"No, 'cause if I was a girl like you, then I'd also be a girl like Candace. And there is no way I want to act like her."

"She's not _that_ bad. She's actually kind of fun...about 0.5% of the time."

"The drama is really building up here, folks." Christian said to the studio audience. "This makes for awesome TV! Don't touch that dial."

* * *

Back in Danville, Isabella was just finishing up her freshly cooked breakfast. She wasn't able to finish eating everything that was on her plate, but she became so full that she feared taking another bite, believing that her stomach would actually explode. "Oh, I'm stuffed." She said, before covering up her mouth to burp. "Excuse me."

"I see you enjoyed your breakfast." Phineas said, as he took out a remote, pressed a button, and watched a virtual butler appear before them. The butler began clearing the table.

"Yeah, I did." She said, struggling to get out of her chair. "But that was a lot. I was afraid my stomach would blow up."

"Nonsense. Nothing's too good for my little ray of sunshine." He said romantically, tickling under her chin and making her giggle.

"Phineas, st-stop it. You know I'm ticklish there." She tried to brush his arm away from her chin so he'd stop tickling.

"I know that. I was just trying to perk up your spirit. One of us should be perky, at least." He said that last sentence in a sort of grumpy tone. The dark circles under his eyes were proof that he was tired, but it took the paleness of his skin and the capillaries building up in his eyes to set Isabella off.

"Uh, OK...so Phineas, what exactly do you have planned for the rest of the day. I mean, what are you and Ferb going to do?"

"Nothing. Because today is all about you and me." He yawned and then started fiddling around with his watch.

"What's that on your wrist?"

"What? This? Oh, this is just a teleportation device I whipped up last night. I just say the name of a place I want to go into the microphone here, and I press this button here, and POOF! We're there. Come on, grab on to me." She wrapped her arms around his arm as he activated his watch. He pressed the button and talked into it quickly so Isabella couldn't stop him. "Paris, France."

"Ah, the city of love." She swooned slightly until she realized that that was the place they'd be going to. "Wait, _Paris France_!" But before she was able to stop him, she found herself and Phineas having their molecules transported halfway across the globe to the City of Love. They found themselves only moments later in the middle of the most romantic city in the entire world: Paris, France.

The people were bustling about, minding their own business, ignoring the fact that it was nighttime. They didn't even notice them arrive in such a fashion. "Whoa...Phineas. We're in France!" Isabella shouted.

"Of course we are. That's what I said. I figured, "What better place to give you the most romantic day ever than in the most romantic place ever?" He told her. "Now come on. We've got an awesome day planned for us." He grabbed her hand and started running in a random direction, in the hopes of giving Isabella the greatest day of her life, with even bigger hopes that she would never, ever consider leaving him. The stress in him was building up rapidly, and his fatigue was growing. But he tried to hide it from Isabella.

"Phineas," She said, pulling him back and stopping him before he went any further. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Absolutely! Today is your day, Isabella. And I'm whatever kind of guy you want me to me."

"But..." Before she could retaliate again, he grabbed her arm and darted for their day together. And all the while, a catchy (and if I do say so myself, appropriate) tune started playing in the background.

_**Here I am, there you are  
Why does it seem so far  
Next to you is where I should be (where I want to be)  
Something I want so bad  
Know what's inside your head  
Maybe I could see what you see (tell me what you see)**_

The first thing they did together was take a romantic gondala ride down a river. Isabella was taken completely off-guard by this, but was overjoyed at the prospect of taking her first ever ride with Phineas. The ride itself lasted for over an hour. Even though both of them truly enjoyed the ride, it took much more of a toll on Phineas than Isabella, and it took more of a toll than he expected.

_**I gotta keep on believing that everything takes time  
I'll make up any reason to make you mine  
If you're staying or leaving, I'll follow your lead  
So why keep pretending? Open your eyes  
**__**I can be what you need**_

_**Any kind of guy you want, girl  
That's the kind I'll be  
Turn myself upside down (yes I will, yes I will)  
Any kind of guy you want, girl  
You know I'll agree  
Turn your whole world around (yes I will, yes I will) **_

After the gondala ride, Phineas took Isabella to the top of the Eiffel Tower for a view of the whole city. Isabella was fascinated and amazed by the view of the city. What she wans't impressed with, however, was the bouquet of flowers Phineas gave her and his attempt to kiss her on the Eiffel Tower. She took the flowers and thanked him for them, and then slowly walked away from Phineas, which upset him greatly, adding to the anxiety he was already feeling.

_**Any kind, any kind  
Any kind of guy you want  
You decide, change your mind  
I will be there**_

_**Won't you try, one more try  
**__**Be my any kind of girl  
You decide, it's alright  
I will be there**_

After the Eiffel Tower, Phineas took her on a cruise down the Seine River to show her all of the sights Paris had to offer. Isabella was glorified at the pretty sights that they all saw. She liked seeing the many sights Paris had to offer, but once again, she felt that Phineas was ruining it when he tried to sweep her off her feet again. This time, he turned her attention to the skies, where he had a fireworks display write out the message "Phineas & Isabella...Together Forever" and then have their two faces be surrounded by a big heart. Deep down, Isabella knew that he was really trying. And that's what she didn't like.

_**You seem so hard to know  
Say goodbye, say hello  
Then you say that it's time to go (Now it's time to go)  
Changing my point of view  
Everyday something new  
Anything to get next to you (gotta get to you)**_

_**I gotta keep on believing that everything takes time  
I'll make up any reason to make you mine  
If you're staying or leaving, I'll follow your need  
So why keep pretending? Open your eyes  
I can be what you need**_

Phineas took Isabella around Paris and showed her so many sights and did so many romantic things with her that neither of them even notice the sun start coming up. By now, Phineas was so exhausted that his body was beginning to beg him to stop moving and rest. But the boy refused to listen and pressed on, to the most romantic restaurant in all of Paris. "Here we are, Isabella. "Restaurant de romantisme", the restaurant of romance. Come on, let's have lunch."

"Sure. Whatever." She said flatly, her frustration and anger visible to everyone, even Phineas. But Phineas took it as a sign that he should be trying harder to swoon her. The two walked into the restaurant and Phineas approached the man at the front desk.

"Je m'excuse, j'ai une réserve. Sous le nom, "Phineas Flynn"." Phineas said to him (Translated: Excuse me, I have a reservation under the name "Phineas Flynn")

"Ah, oui. Nous avons été vous attendent. Me suivez." The guy said, as he grabbed two menus and led the kids to their table. (Translated: Ah, yes. We've been expecting you. Follow me.)

"Phineas, I didn't know you spoke French." Isabella whispered to him, amazed at how fluently his French was.

"I stayed up most of last night studying it. I wanted this day to be perfect. Oh, I almost forgot." He clapped his hands twice, and immediately, musicians with violins appeared before them and started playing romantic music around them. This made Isabella's fury grow even more, and yet Phineas was completely under the assumption that she was enjoying it.

_**Any kind of guy you want, girl  
That's the kind I'll be  
Turn myself upside down (yes I will, yes I will)  
Any kind of guy you want, girl  
You know I'll agree  
Turn your whole world around (yes I will, yes I will)**_

_**Any kind, any kind  
Any kind of guy you want  
You decide, change your mind  
I will be there**_

_**Won't you try, one more try  
**__**Be my any kind of girl  
You decide, it's alright  
I will be there**_

**_(Bring it back)_**

**_Any kind, any kind  
And kind of guy you want  
You decide, it's alright  
I will be there!_**

**_

* * *

_**Meanwhile, things weren't that much better in the Tri-State Area for the three couples competing on "The Newlywed Game".

"And welcome back. The first round is over and so far, we have a three-way tie." Potenza said to the studio audience after returning from commercial. "So far, each of our three couples has an amazing score of...zero." His tone of voice went from really optimistic to annoyed when he uttered the word "zero". "But, it's Round 2 now and anything can happen. And now the tables have turned. I asked the men a series of three questions and now it was the women's job to write down what they thought their partner would say. So once again, we'll start with the Flynn-Fletchers. Lawrence, who is your favorite relative from Linda's side of the family?"

"I'd go with her father, Clyde. He's so much fun with the kids and he's not afraid to unleash his inner child."

"OK, and Linda thought your favorite relative was..." She held up her card. "Her aunt Lorraine."

"I didn't know you had an Aunt Lorraine."

"Remember last year when Candace pulled off her prank on the other kids?"

"Yes, and Grandma and Grandpa were in on it?"

"Well, that wasn't my mother. That was actually her twin sister, Lorraine."

Lawrence laughed at this revelation, not taking his wife seriously, which really got her angry. "Oh, that's very funny, Linda. Very funny indeed."

"I'm serious, Lawrence." But she was only met with more laughter from him. Now, she was really upset. She turned her head, scoffed, and crossed her arms angrily. "Fine. I'll prove it to you that I have an Aunt Lorraine, and then you'll feel pretty stupid about yourself."

"Do it on your own time, lady!" Christina Potenza yelled angrily. "We've only got twenty-two minutes!"

"Don't you yell at me or I'll sock one right in your face!" Linda turned to him and yelled, holding a fist to his face.

"Well, at least my face is pretty." He retorted back. The audience, along with all the contestants except Linda "ooh'ed" and "ah'ed" and started laughing at Linda, who was greatly offended by this remark.

"You're saying that my face is _not_ pretty?" She started laughing hysterically, and at the end of it, snorted very loudly. "That's ridiculous." Now she was in a mood to pick a fight. She snorted again, this time, even louder. "If anybody's face isn't pretty, it's..." But before she got the chance to take her shot, Lawrence pinched the back of her neck. Hitting a pressure point, he was able to quickly knock her out. IN less than 2 seconds, she closed her eyes, fell back, and fell asleep, snoring rather loudly. Potenza saw this as no distraction.

"OK, what did you..."

"Don't worry. She has a history of going crazy like that. There's where our oldest daughter got it front. And not to fear, she'll be up in...oh, actually, I'm not sure when she'll wake up. I've never had to do that before. Could be a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, and you do not know what it's like to have to listen to this at night."

"I feel your pain, man. Anyway, back to the game. Now, we're up to Peter. Peter, who is your favorite relative from Lois's side of the family?"

"Uh, I'd have to go with Patrick, her mentally deformed brother."

"My brother? My psychotic brother who tried to kill you?" Lois was surprised at this as she held up her card. "I thought you liked my mother, Babs."

"You know what? I do. I do. But she's married to your father, and I hate that man."

"OK, Jeremy. Which one of Stacy's relatives do you like the best?" Potenza asked Jeremy.

"Uh, I'd have to say her mother, Dr. Hirano." He answered, trying to be polite. Truth is, he had never met any of Stacy's relatives, and Stacy sensed out his lie right away as she held up her card.

"Nobody."

"Yeah. He's never met my mother or any of my relatives for that matter." She said, rather annoyed.

"I was just trying to be nice. I mean-"

"People, let's keep this game moving!" Potenza got their attention again. "We're already behind as it is! Now, question 2: Lawrence, we asked your wife what she thought your favorite sport was so...uh, you know what? Just tell us and then you can show us what she wrote."

"Uh, personally, I've always liked football. What, with all the kicked of the ball and putting it into goals. That's a jolly good time if I do say so myself."

"Dude, I don't know if you're aware of this, but in America, we refer to that as Soccer."

"Yes, I know. What's your point, bloke?"

Potenza slapped his forehead in frustration. "This is so not worth minimum wage."

"Dude, you're seriously making him upset." Peter barked up to Lawrence. "Stop wasting his time and just get a question right. I don't care if I win or not. I just like playing."

"Yeah, guys." Potenza interrupted. "If we don't get a winner after 2 rounds, then we have to keep going until somebody wins. And I don't have that kind of time. I'm meeting Drew Carey for lunch later."

"Oh, when you see him. Could you tell him that I'm a big fan of his work in "Ace Ventura"? Oh wait, that was Jim Carry." He sat in silence for a moment before speaking up again. "Tell him I like "Jake and the Fat Man"."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Restaurant de Romantisme, Phineas & Isabella were enjoying their romantic lunch consisting of lobster and pasta. Well, Phineas was enjoying his lunch, at least. Isabella, once again, was unamused. She wasn't interested in the over-the-top romantic treatment Phineas was giving him, but she was completely ignoring the amount of hard work, sweat, and tears it took for him to do all of this.

"Wow, Isabella. I don't think this food could be any more delicious. Could it?" He asked her, trying to make conversation.

"No, I don't think it could." She said bitterly. She hadn't even touched her food.

"But you haven't even touched it." Phineas motioned to point out that her plate was still full.

"So? Maybe I'm just not hungry. I did have a big breakfast after all." Her tone became more bitter with each word she spoke. Phineas finally noticed this bitter tone and looked up from his lunch.

"Whoa, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing. It's just that this isn't exactly the place I want to be at right."

"It...It isn't?" Phineas clutched his chest in pain as he asked that dreadful question. He was desperate for this day to go perfectly and for Isabella to say that just threw him over the edge.

"I'd rather be home building a giant ferris wheel or making the biggest chocolate chip cookie with my _best friend_." She exaggerated the last two words in the hopes that Phineas would catch on to what she was trying to say: that she didn't want this romantic treatment. But Phineas, by this point, was so stressed out and so frantic that he didn't catch on, and that one little remark she made pushed him, no. Shoved him, over the edge.

"Well, you know what _I_ want?" He snarled at her, slowly standing up. He marched over to her, making her cower in her shoes. "_I _want a girlfriend who'll accept what I'm trying to do here and keep her big mouth shut!" He leaned in closely for those last four words. Everybody in the restaurant gasped, including Isabella.

"_My _big mouth-"

"All you've done today is insult me and put me down! No matter what we did together in the City of Love, you dismissed like it was no big deal."

"But Phineas-"

"I'm not done, you cow! So shut up and let me talk!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "You are nothing but an ungrateful, unloving, selfish, stuck-up brat and you don't deserve a guy like me! I mean, I'm great guy, aren't I?" He looked around the room and waited for somebody to give him an answer. But everybody remained still. "Aren't I! Oh, I KNEW IT! I JUST KNEW IT!" And that pushed him over for good. He started bawling and ran out the door, in the most miserable state of his life.

Everybody in the room looked in his direction, and in their heart of hearts, felt sorry for him. Then they turned their attention to Isabella, and glared angrily at her. She knew that her best friend was hurt, so she decided to get up and go look for him. Luckily, the food was already paid for in advance so she didn't have to worry about it.

She searched all around town, and for about an hour, she had no luck finding him. "Phineas!" She called out for him. "Phineas, where are you!" She was afraid that he had teleported back to Danville without her, and that she would be stuck in Paris forever, with no way back home. But those worries were dashed after about an hour and fifteen minutes.

She passed by the Eiffel Tower and stopped when she heard some crying coming from underneath. "P-Phineas?" She edged closer to the tower, looking inside, and saw Phineas curled up in a fetal position, shedding many tears and suffering a nervous breakdown. She went underneath the tower to up to attempt to comfort him. "Are you OK?"

"Go away." He said, but this time, he was more heartfelt than he was before hand. "You don't want to be with a jerk like me. I'm just a loser!" He said before going into a deeper state of depression. Hating to see her best friend like this, she sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Phineas, you're not a loser, so don't say that. Now, what's wrong?" She asked genuinely. "You can tell me."

He looked up from his curled position into her eyes. He knew deep down that he could tell her anything, but he still wasn't so sure he wanted to. IN the end, he gave in and decided to tell her. "I-I had a bad dream last night...about us."

"Again? What was it this time?"

"Well..." He sniffled back a few tears. "We were in Paris, the City of Love, and...I remembered last year, where we traveled around the world and we stopped in Paris." Before he went on, Isabella immediately knew what was going on: it was another guilt trip, and Isabella felt for him. She tightened her hug on him and also had tears forming in her eyes. "And...and you sang that beautiful song."

"Wait, you actually heard me singing?" She was stunned that he remembered that. She assumed that he was too busy trying to fix their plane to notice her. "And you remembered the song? All this time?"

"It-It was a beautiful song. I-It really was. I just wanted to get the stuff so we could make it back to Danville and not lose the bet against Buford. Anyway, in my dream, we were here, and I was trying to spend time with you, but you were so mad at me because I hadn't noticed you the last time we were here that you said you never wanted to see my face again. And then the ground broke beneath me, and then I woke up."

"Oh Phineas. You were so afraid that I would hate you because of that one day, weren't you?"

"YES! YES, I WAS!" He screamed in anguish and hugged her so tightly. "I'M SORRY, ISABELLA! I-I'm sorry!" He sobbed loudly into her chest. His nervous breakdown continued and only seemed to get worse. Finally, it was clicking in for her.

"Shh, it's OK, Phineas. Relax." She tried to get him to calm down by embracing him and running her hand softly down his back. "Just let it out. That's it."

"I'm sorry, Isabella." He said pulling away abruptly. "I'm sorry that I can't be the person that lives up to your expectations."

"Are you serious? Phineas, when you try to make things perfect for us, you go above and beyond my expectations, and that's what scares me."

"I don't understand."

"Think about it. You stayed up all last night preparing this day for us. You put yourself under a tremendous amount of stress just to please me, and it's showing." She put her hand on his chest and felt his heart beating super rapidly. "See? Feel your chest. Your heart's beating like a jackhammer." It was actually going at about 125-130 beats per minute.

"Anything to make you happy."

"You're gonna make yourself sick one of these days, and that's not going to make me happy at all. Because I don't want to spend my adult years taking care of you while you're bedridden done by your own hand."

"But...But if I don't do this, then how will I know if you're happy being with me?"

"Phineas, look. I'm sick of you always trying so hard to please me just because you feel guilty. I can't believe that you still remember the times in past years where I've given you obvious hints that I liked you and you didn't notice. And I hate that you feel that if you don't make our date amazing and to my exact liking, then I'll despise you."

"But...don't you?"

"No, not one bit."

"You mean you don't have a desire to insult me or degrade me in any way?"

"You want my honest opinion of you?"

"Your absolute honest opinion. And be brutal." He shut his eyes and prepared for the worst insults possible. But instead of insulting him, Isabella again wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him as tightly as possible, tears running down her eyes.

"Well, Phineas, I think that you are a cute, wonderful, talented, amazing young boy with a heart of gold who just wants to make everybody around him happy, even if it means he's miserable."

Phineas began to settle down. He wasn't bawling like a baby anymore, but he was still very upset. "I-I just want to see smiles on everybody's faces, even yours, Isabella."

"But is it worth it? I mean, is it worth it to make yourself sick just to please others? Look at you and Candace. You wanted to impress her with you and Ferb's creations, and all she wanted to do was bust you guys."

"But it's you I'm dealing with this time: You, an amazing, adorable, down-to-Earth girl with a heart of gold and a cute face to boot." She pinched her face and made her laugh before kissing her. "I want you to be happy, and I want you to be happy being with me."

"Then just be yourself. Phineas, I don't want you to feel like you have to go overboard in trying to impress me. That's not the Phineas Flynn I fell in love with. The Phineas I fell in love with is care-free, happy-go-lucky, smart, cute, and can do anything he sets his mind to. Besides, like I said: You are a brilliant, cute, and care-free spirit whose one ambition is to make summer the best days of your life. But you know what you also are?"

"What?"

"You're exhausted. I can see it in your eyes. You put so much pressure on yourself that you forgot to take care of yourself." They hugged again as Phineas was finally beginning to calm down. "And Phineas, I'm really, really sorry."

"What are you sorry about?"

"I was a bitter, insensitive jerk face all day to you. I know I have said many times that I don't want you to do too much to be romantic with me, but I guess I keep forgetting that your heart is always in the right place. I shouldn't have been so harsh with you. And I'm sorry. If anybody's a loser here, it's me-"

"No, don't say that!" He covered his ears frantically, not wanting to hear Isabella beat herself up. "You're not a loser!"

Isabella immediately saw that this was much worse than she anticipated. So she thought of a way to make things right. "I'll tell you what: how about we go back into the city, and we can re-do this whole day. Everything you planned we do again, and this time, I'll enjoy all of it." She slowly stood up and made her way to leave the tower. But, Phineas stopped her.

"No." Was all he said to get her to turn around.

"No?"

"I don't think that's a good idea." He said, as he got up and walked up to her. "I know exactly what's going to happen. I'm not going to enjoy today, and then I'll want to make it up to you, and then vise-versa, and then it's just going to become a never ending pattern. I don't want to see you upset in any way."

"I know you don't, Phineas. Well, if you don't want to go back into Paris, how about we go home? Back to Danville. Since the sun's really high up here, it must be close to dark back home."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Do you still feel like you need to cry? Because you're more than welcome to cry on my shoulder."

He wiped away some tears that were still running down his face. "No. I-I think I'll be OK now. I think I do just need some sleep. Yo-You're coming over to sleep over, right? I think if there was ever a night I needed my best friend to comfort me, it would be tonight."

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'd do anything to see my cutie-pie happy again." Once again, all was right between them. They embraced, and allowed the world around them to melt away. Things were OK...for now. "And Phineas, promise me that you'll sleep in tomorrow. I mean, _really_ sleep in. Not to, like, 7:15, or 7:30, or even-"

"I get it, Isabella. And don't worry. I was planning on it anyway. I haven't been this exhausted since...actually, I can't really remember the last time I was this exhausted."

* * *

And speaking of Danville, the three couples were still competing on "The Newlywed Game". Having gone for so long without scoring any points, the couples, the host, and the audience were getting rather fed up.

"Jeremy, what do you think is Stacy's favorite thing to do on a rainy day?"

"Uh, well, Christian, I think she likes to talk on the phone alot."

"OK, and Stacy said..." Stacy held up her card...and yawned. "Watching TV." The audience groaned.

"Come on! This is ridiculous!"

"Well, maybe if you knew me a little bit better, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Maybe if you decided to talk to me during boring lectures instead of catching up on your ZZZZ's..."

"People, get it together!" Christian Potenza yelled. He was really getting upset now. "We have been at this for over 10 hours! I am committed to not stopping until we have a winner! But you guys have to meet me halfway. Alright, let's keep going. Move on to the next question. Now, Lawrence, since your partner is..." He noted to Lawrence's partner, Linda, who was still snoring loudly with her shirt & chin now covered in drool. "Out of commission, I'm afraid you still can't play." Lawrence groaned. "So let's move on. OK, Peter, what do you think is Lois's least favorite song?"

"Uh, Christian, I would have to go with Michael Jackson's Thriller. The reason being is that this one time, I was listening to it and she was throwing up in the bathroom."

"I was pregnant with Stewie!" She shouted. "And besides, there's no other song I hate more than-" She held up her card angrily. "Surfin' Bird!"

"Are you serious?" Potenza shouted.

"I know. This is annoying. Peter, why can't you just put down a right answer for once so we can-"

"No, not that. I can't believe that you could hate such an awesome song."

Peter gasped in delight while Lois was horrified. "Oh, thank you, Potenza! Thank you!"

"Wait, so you actually like this song? But why? It's absolutely annoying to no end!"

"Lois, please. Don't question the man." Peter told her off. "Obviously, he knows what he's doing. Obviously, he knows what songs are good, unlike _some_ people...Lois...He's been on "The Maury Show" over 23,000 times and not once did he get into a fight. He still has all his teeth after all." What Peter did not see was that Potenza had gotten upset over his remark. He had never once been on the Maury Show and did not even like it. Plus, he really wanted to go home.

"OK, that's it, tubby. You and your wife and going down." He said angrily as he pulled the two into a fight. The audience were suddenly entertained again. They were on their feet, cheering. Not wanting to get into the fight, Stacy & Jeremy, along with Linda & Lawrence decided to get their things and go home. Lawrence was the only one still awake between him and Linda; Linda was still fast asleep and snoring loudly, even after 10 hours, after having been knocked out by her husband earlier, so Lawrence was forced to carry her to the car. He stopped in the audience for Ferb and then they made their way to the car.

* * *

After a 3 1/2 hour drive from the studio, Lawrence, a sleeping Linda, and Ferb finally made it back home. Lawrence & Ferb had to carry the snoring Linda into the house on their shoulders since there were no signs that she was waking up anytime soon. Phineas & Isabella were waiting in the living room for them. While they waited, Phineas had time to make adjustments to his force-field projector machine so when anybody asked, nobody would get suspicious. (See my most recent P&F fanfic **The Talk** for details) Both were ready for a good night's sleep, and since Isabella had already asked and gotten permission from her mom to sleep over, they just had to worry about them.

"Hello, Phineas. We're home." Lawrence said cheerfully over Linda's snoring as they entered the room.

"Dad, what happened to Mom?" Phineas asked, noting the sleeping Mom.

"Ugh, well we had a bit of a problem during the taping of the show, and now we can't seem to wake her up." He explained. Then he noticed that Phineas was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. "My word, Phineas. What happened to you?"

"Me? Um, well..."

"He tried to take me out on a romantic date, but...things didn't go as planned." Isabella explained to him. "It-It was just a _really_ bad day, and now he's just exhausted. My Mom said it was OK if I slept over tonight to watch over him. Is it OK with you?"

"Well, seeing as Mom here is unconscious and I have no idea when she'll wake up, I say it's OK."

"Ferb, y-you don't mind, do you?" Phineas asked his stepbrother.

"After the day I had with crazy women today, it'll at least be nice to know that we have a perfectly sane one in the house." Ferb remarked.

"Thanks, man. You're the best."

"Well, kids, it's close to 9:00. Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed." Lawrence told them.

"OK, Dad." So Phineas, Isabella, and Ferb went upstairs to get themselves ready for bed. Isabella used the bathroom to changed into pajamas that she brought with her. Ferb was also in his pajamas when he went to sleep. Perry was sleeping soundly on Ferb's bed. As for Phineas, well...

As soon as she came out of the bathroom and went into their room to get comfortable, she could see that their force-field was already up and working, and it was projecting an image of Phineas sleeping in his bed, and Isabella sleeping in a sleeping back next to the bed. She knew he had thought ahead, so ignoring the image in front of her, she made her way into the bed to see that Phineas was wearing the strip over his nose, and was on his stomach, out like a light.

She climbed into the bed, enchanted by the sounds of his snoring, and tried to get comfortable down by his rear end. But, knowing that Phineas was exhausted and in need of a good friend, she decided instead to climb up to the pillows and give him a warming hug. He wasn't snoring that yet, so she knew he was still awake. She gently wrapped an arm around his neck and sunk into him, and still managed to put the other one down so her hand touched his butt. Phineas, feeling a comforting arm around his neck and a strong, tight grip on his rear end, smiled warmly. No matter what challenges they would have to face, whether it be romance, moving away, fights, or even "puberty", they would always get through them and come out in one piece.

"Hey Phineas?" She whispered to him as she kissed the side of his head.

"Yeah?" He whispered back, not opening his eyes.

"Shouldn't you have changed into your pajamas before you went to sleep?" She asked, noting that he was still in his summer clothes, clothes that Phineas had been wearing for close to 24 hours now. Realizing this, he opened his eyes widely. But instead of worrying about it, he closed them slowly again and went back to sleep.

**End of Episode 24!**

**I hope you liked that little song I put in, the Family Guy reference, and the episode as a whole. If you're not a fan of Big Time Rush, sorry. But's it my story. Oh, and if you didn't understand the last part of the episode, please refer to my other fanfiction "The Talk". You'll understand better. Plus, I'll be dabbing into Phineas's emotional issues in a later episode. Anyway,**

**Next Time: A devastating Earthquake hits the Tri-State Area, and the people try to figure out what to do.**

**Expected Updated: Hopefully before August 14th, since that's when I leave for vacation.**


	32. 25: Make a Wave

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 25: Make a Wave**

**Episode Summary: After the Tri-State Area gets hit with its most powerful recorded Earthquake in a long time, the people are left in piles of rubble. It's up to Phineas & Ferb to send a message of help out to fix things before they get out of hand. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz attempts to help Vanessa and his ex-wife, Charlene, get back on their feet by inventing a device that can fix any building, no matter how much damage it has taken.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was up in the sky, but covered in many layers of clouds. Mostly everyone on Maple Drive were awake and busy with their routines. The only two kids who weren't awake yet were Phineas & Isabella, as they had had a most difficult day the day before. You would think that at past 9:30 AM, after over 13 hours of sleep, they would be wide awake. But after the previous day's events, you'd be wrong.

They were still sharing the bed, and Phineas's device to keep any unwanted intruders out was still working. Phineas was still on his stomach, snoring (and significantly louder since the nighttime, but a bit softer than the night before) & now even drooling a bit on his pillow. Isabella was still enjoying herself as she slept with Phineas. She kept one arm wrapped around his neck, and another down by his lower body so her hand could touch and squeeze his butt, a position she had been holding for nearly 13 hours. She kept him close to her. Even though she considered several times moving down on the bed to sleep on his butt, she decided to show restraint and respect him by comforting him after the previous day's events. Still, both kids were loving the feelings they were having.

But those good times were about to come crashing down. Soon there was a small rumbling that could be felt in the house. Downstairs, Lawrence, Linda, Perry, & Ferb, who were all sitting on the couch watching TV, felt the rumbling. Even upstairs, it was felt. It started out as a light rumbling, but it definitely concerned the family.

As soon as Isabella felt it, she stirred herself awake. She opened her eyes and took a good look around. She didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but the rumbling made her suspicious. She tried to shake Phineas awake by shaking his body. The more she shook him, the more goosebumps she felt. But she had to stay focused on waking him up. "Phineas, wake up. Do you feel that?" He snorted once, but he didn't open his eyes. "Phineas! Come on, wake up!" He wouldn't open his eyes, so she continued shaking him for another minute or two, and shook harder.

Phineas, however, was so deep into his sleep that the shaking only made him snore louder with each shake. "No, sir. We're not too young to be entrepreneurs." He snorted again, obviously dreaming about his day's plan.

"Oh, Phineas." Isabella sighed over his snoring. She kissed him on the side of his head, where his freckles were, and as she was getting finished, the rumbling got a lot stronger. "Holy cow! It's an Earthquake!" The force-field was disrupted by the shaking and the contraption producing it fell off the roof. Not wanting to wait for them to be crushed to death, she picked Phineas up and put him over her shoulder, and started running downstairs, avoiding the falling dresser draws and the cracking ceiling.

"It's an Earthquake, kids!" Lawrece yelled. "Wait, what's wrong with Phineas?"

"He won't wake up!"

"Did he get hit with something?"

"No, he's just a really heavy sleeper!" She ran down the stairs and they all ran out of the house to avoid any falling debris, with Perry in Ferb's arms. Pretty soon, everybody on the block had run out of their homes to avoid being crushed. The alleged "Earthquake" was so powerful that it destroyed nearly every home on the block, and the homes that it didn't destroy (Phineas's house, Isabella's house, and Baljeet's house) were severely damaged, along with everything inside.

Along with all of the screaming and the panic that came from the initial shock, there was also a lot of crying come from the people. Their stuff had just been destroyed, and everybody in the neighborhood was shocked to see their stuff be practically crushed.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! **_**Or at least that's what it's supposed to be.**

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Tri-State Area, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, lab coat and pants torn up and covered in dirt, stared on at what used to be his evil lair. He was standing right in the front of what used to be his home. "This is..this is terrible." He said after he observed a few moments of silence. "I can't believe it. My evil lair is gone. All the work I've invested into making evil...it's all gone." He plopped down onto the ground and sat there for a while. He was at a loss for words.

"A-And the worst part is...I don't have anybody to share this pain with. Not my robot assistant, Norm, who's decided to take the day off and play poker with the other robots..."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a room full of robots, most notably, Norm the Robot, Robot Jones, and Bender (from Futurama). They were playing a game of black jack. "Now, I will ask you again. If I order a pizza, will anybody else have some?" Norm asked them all truthfully._

_"I might." Robot Jones said._

_"Well, I'm going to need a bit more commitment than that."_

_"Wait, if you order a pizza, do we all have to chip in?" Bender asked, taking out his wallet. When Norm didn't respond, he had his answer. "That's what I thought."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"...not my own daughter, Vanessa, who is with her mother, and their house is...probably destroyed because of the quake. I don't even have my nemesis, Perry the Platypus, to share my grief with. I-I hope he got crushed by a rock or something." He looked around and realized that he was still alone. "You know, it just occurred to me that this is the first time this show has done a cutaway. Usually, they're reserved for FOX shows."

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, everybody (with the exception of Phineas, who was still asleep somehow) was beginning to panic over the situation. With no homes to go to, they were all desperate to find something to do, somewhere to go.

Back out in the streets by the Flynn-Fletcher home and the Garcia-Shapiro home, the two families were gathered together to talk about what was happening. Meanwhile, over where the kids were, right in front of the destroyed Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas was finally beginning to wake up. He, still in Isabella's arms, yawned loudly and stretched his arms. He looked up and saw a concerned Isabella looked down at him and a confused Ferb next to her. "Hey guys." He said. "What's happening?"

He jumped out of her arms, dusted himself off, and had a look around. He saw all of the destroyed homes and the wrecked ground. He started pieceing things together, but he wanted to get a second opinion from his friend & stepbrother. "Guys...w-what happened here?"

"An Earthquake hit us." Isabella explained to him.

"How powerful was it?"

"We're not sure. Our parents are over there listening on a TV trying to get answers." Ferb told him, pointing to their parents over across the street. "But judging from the amount of structural damage there is, along with the many cracks in the street, I estimate the magnitude of the Earthquake to be about 7.0, maybe 7.5."

"Wow, that is a powerful Earthquake." Phineas remarked, taking a quick scan of the damage done. "When did this happen?" He turned to Isabella for that question. He really didn't realize that he had slept through the entire Earthquake, or that Isabella had tried to awaken him and had to carry him out of the house.

"You're serious? You mean you didn't feel any of the rumbling?"

"Unless you mean the rumbling of my stomach because I'm hungry for some breakfast, then no."

"Seriously! It was a powerful Earthquake. It started out as a little bit of rumbling, so I tried to wake you up. I tried shaking your body back and forth to wake you up."

"You did?"

"I tried for, like, 3 minutes, and you didn't budge."

"You tried to shake my body in a back and forth motion to try and get me awake so we wouldn't be crushed by falling debris."

"Yes!" She cupped her eyebrows in frustration. As cute and sweet as he was, he was still a bit of a clueless dimwit. "Yes, that's exactly what I did."

"Oh. OK..." He assumed that Isabella was just playing around with him. So he decided to fire one back at her. "So did you enjoy the show?" And he got her good. By that, he was asking if she was enjoying the back-and-forth motion his butt was making when she was shaking his body. He knew she was attracted to that, but as much as she did love that, and would gladly go back for more any other day, she wasn't in the mood at the moment, especially in the situation they were in.

"I hardly doubt any "show" you put on for her during your nightly rouses are of any importance at this moment considering we're all practically homeless."

"Yeah, I guess you're...wait a second. "Nightly Rouses?" So...so you know all about what we've been doing?"

"What do you take me for? Some kind of idiot? I know about her sneaking to our house at night and I know about your...unique sleeping arrangements. And I must say, you have been pulling this off very cleverly."

"How long have you known?"

"About a week."

"Are you mad?"

"Not mad. Just confused. But then again, I guess "puberty" is a confusing time for kids, and I guess it hit you two pretty hard."

"So...does this mean you're _not_ going to tell Mom and Dad or Isabella's mom what we've been doing?"

"What kind of man would I be if I were to come between my own brother and the love of his life? Besides, I'm sure you'd do the same for me...if I was going through this process."

"Oh, sure. Absolutely. Thanks so much, Ferb. I totally owe you big time for this." He gave his stepbrother a hug.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see what our parents are up to." Ferb stood up and started walking over to where his and the other parents were at, leaving Phineas & Isabella there. They stood up as well and Isabella immediately went to hug him.

"You know, Phineas, you have a great guy for a stepbrother."

"Thanks, Isabella." He thought that she was genuinely complimenting him, which she was. But she was also looking for an excuse to be able to grab both of his butt cheeks with her hands and squeeze them hard. Phineas truly did enjoy this moment, because he liked this feeling. But after about a moment of that, he realized something. "Hey, Isabella? I think this might be a bad time to mention it. But, I just remembered that I never changed out of my summer clothes last night, so I've been wearing this same shirt & shorts for the past 36 hours."

As soon as he said this, Isabella opened her eyes widely, but didn't move her hands from where they were. "Yeah, so my clothes are probably a little dirty...and smelly." Though he was telling the truth, it was also an attempt to get her to let go of his butt. But instead of letting go of him, Isabella greatly tightened her grip on him, squeezing his butt cheeks twice as hard as before.

"What's your point?" She asked. Phineas knew she wasn't thinking about letting go anytime soon.

"Well, I tried."

"Oh, and by the way, I _did_ enjoy the show." Isabella looked at him and giggled, referring to the "show" that Phineas described earlier. "I _really_ enjoyed the show and I'd really like to see an encore tonight..."

"There was show on before? What kind?" But, being the oblivious kid he was, he misinterpreted it for something else. Frustrated, Isabella played along anyway.

"Yeah." She said sarcastically, tightening her grip even more on his butt. "There was a parade on early this morning. It was to celebrate our substitute teachers. It ran from 5:30 in the morning to 9:30, just before the Earthquake, and you snored through the whole thing."

"I did?"

"Yep. In fact, your snoring was the only thing I could hear while the parade was going on." Phineas's mouth dropped open. He thought the strips his dad gave him would help, but according to Isabella (she was lying, though), they weren't helping that much. Luckily, Phineas managed to figure out later on that she was only joking with him. "Oh yeah. It was _that_ loud. Not that I didn't prefer your snoring over the TV, but..."

But before Phineas could retaliate, Ferb came rushing over with some news concerning the Earthquake.

"They just said it on the radio. The Earthquake hit the Tri-State Area at precisely 9:42 this morning, and was recorded with a magnitude of 9.3, and that this is the most powerful Earthquake in over 25 years. The last Earthquake of remotely that power was a 9.1 Earthquake back in 1984. And they said that the epicenter was right into the center of the Tri-State Area."

"Whoa, that is one powerful quake, and the Tri-State Area is so big. No wonder we could feel it here." Isabella remarked.

"Not only that, but Mayor Doofenshmirtz also said that damage costs from the Earthquake are currently estimated at about $34 Million."

"$34 Million? That's outrageous!" Phineas shouted. "How's the Tri-State Area going to come up with that kind of money?"

"I don't know, but..." Ferb stopped in his tracks when he noticed the way Isabella was holding Phineas. Even though he knew about Isabella sneaking into their house at night to sleep with Phineas, he didn't know about their...other interactions. He didn't say anything, but his eyes motioning up and down were enough for Isabella to catch on.

"I'll explain later." She told him, tightening her grip on his butt cheeks even more.

"Isabella, let go of me."

"But don't you like this? You said that you loved this!" Again, Ferb raised an eyebrow. "Again, I'll explain later."

"Yes. I love it. But, we can't just stand around and not do anything."

"What do you mean?" She loosened her grip on him, but didn't let go just yet.

"What I mean is everybody else on Maple Drive is panicking. And if they're panicking, just imagine what the people in the city are feeling? Just think how long it'll take for the entire Tri-State Area to be fixed. Our whole summer will be wasted and school'll be here before we know it! Summer doesn't last forever, you know."

"Yeah, but what can we do?"

"We're gonna have to get some help. Let's round up the gang. I know what we're gonna do today!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, in a frenzy, rushed over to his ex-wife's house on a hill somewhere. He saw that i was also affected by the Earthquake. It was heavily damaged on the outside, but it was even more damaged on the inside, and somehow, it was still standing. "Oh no! Vanessa!" Doofenshmirtz ran up the hill and knocked on what was left on the door. He feared that they might have been crushed by falling debris. And his fears were slowly coming true as he looked around the house and noticed that there was debris everywhere. "Charlene! Vanessa! Can you hear me?"

What he didn't know was that Charlene & Vanessa had gotten out of the house long before their roof collapsed. But he didn't even consider this because he saw a big pile of rubble in the middle of the living room. "VANESSA! CHARLENE!" He rushed over and started to dig under the pile...or at least try to. He was so physically weak that he was unable to move a single piece of rubble from the pile, no matter how small it was. "Ahh, I am so physically weak. I can't move any of this stuff."

He went around the house and checked all of the other rooms, or at least what was left of them. Mostly they were all cracked and severely damaged, but there was no sign of Charlene and Vanessa anywhere. "There's no sign of them in any of these rooms." He went outside to think this through when he discovered that Charlene's car was parked in the driveway. "Wait a minute. Charlene's car is here, but she and Vanessa are not. That must mean that they got out of the house just in time. But wait, why wouldn't they take the car with them?"

Seeing no point in hanging out by the home, he decided to head down to the street. He sat down on the sidewalk to do some thinking, when he was met with an unfortunate twist of fate: he was shook up and dumped onto his face when he and the street suffered a strong aftershock. "Ow! I-I think I broke a tooth!" He stood up, put his tooth into one of his pockets, and dusted himself off. "Oh man, now what? If I can't find my daughter or the woman that supplies me thousands of dollars for evil every month, what will happen to me?"

* * *

Over on Maple Drive, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, her Fireside Girl troop, Buford, Baljeet, Django, and Irving were gathered in the streets in front of the Flynn-Fletcher home.

"We have called you all here today for a very important reason." Phineas explained to his friends.

"If this is about the stupid Earthquake, you didn't need to call us over here to tell us that." Buford angrily pointed out.

"Yes, this is about the Earthquake, but not for that specific reason. Look, guys, it's obvious that everybody around us is devastated with this horrible Earthquake."

"Yeah, no chiz!"

"And if we're in this kind of state, just imagine what the rest of the city is like." Adyson pointed out, noting that compared to the rest of the Tri-State Area, the neighborhoods pretty much got off easy. "But..." She turned to Phineas's direction. "What could _we_ possibly do? I mean, we're kids."

"Seriously? We may be kids, but that doesn't mean we can't do anything. I mean, last summer alone, we built a portal to Mars, we traveled through time twice, we even traveled around the entire world in one day! So nobody can say to us that we can't do anything."

"Yeah, but Phineas, get real." Milly intervened. "We got hit with some massive damage, and I don't really think it'll all be cleaned up in a single day."

"Maybe it will, and maybe it won't. But we won't know unless we try. I'm certainly not going to take this sitting down." He then realized that he was literally sitting down, so he stood up. "We have to fight this. We have to get the word out."

"And how do you expect we do that?" Isabella asked.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could go around the Tri-State Area filming all of the damage the Earthquake did. Then, we could send the tape to this new TV show called "Fix It Up!" where these guys from some Earthquake relief fund come by and help out neighborhoods or cities that have been affected by Earthquakes."

"I've seen that show, and it's a bunch of bologna." Buford remarked.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because they never deliver on their promises. They say that they're going to fix up the city and they always fail! I mean, just look at what happened with Haiti!"

"Yes, Haiti. It's a small, very poorly organized country that nobody even knew about until that Earthquake hit them." Isabella explained to him.

"Yeah, but still."

"Buford, keep it together, man. You can't let the Earthquake win." Phineas interrupted, and got their attention back. "Look, if we don't do something, who knows how long we'll be stuck like this. We'll be homeless for months, and our parents'll probably be so concerned for our safety that they won't let us leave their sight. They'll keep us under surveillance 24/7."

"So no more rockets into space?" Irving inquired. Phineas shook his head.

"No more large canvases?" Django asked, and again they got a shake of the head.

"No more super-powered trampolines?" Baljeet asked, and again, a head shake.

"No more nighttime romantic role playing?" Isabella asked. Everybody, including Phineas, looked in her direction. She had to think of something to cover up what she had just said, as Phineas was nervous that people would catch on. "As in...us reenacting our favorite romantic movies...such as the Titanic?" All of the kids agreed as Phineas wiped sweat from his brow in relief.

"Nope. None of that stuff. So come on. We've got to spread the word. Somebody outside of Virginia must be willing to help us."

"There's just one problem, Dilweed." Buford commented. "We don't have a camera, and I honestly doubt that our parents would let us go out into the Tri-State Area by ourselves."

"Ferb and I have the camera part worked out." Phineas told him, as Ferb took out a video camera from his back pocket. "Now all we have to worry about is our parents."

* * *

While they were dealing with that, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had his own problems. He still sat on the sidewalk in front of Charlene's house, depressed. He didn't find her or Vanessa in the house, which was nearly destroyed, so his hopes weren't that high that he'd find them alive. But after a long moment of sulking, that view changed in a heartbeat.

"Dad!" He heard a voice coming from the distance. He looked up and saw Vanessa running up to him. "Dad, are you OK?"

"Vanessa!" He called back, as the two embraced upon meeting each other. "Yes, I'm fine. But more importantly, _you're_ OK. I was so worried that you had been crushed by your own house."

"Thankfully, we were able to get out of there in time."

"Where's your mother?"

"She's staying with Uncle Roger until we can get the house fixed. I decided to come back to see if you had been hurt.

"Nope. I'm perfectly unharmed. Well, except for my spirit, since my building was destroyed as well." Doofenshmirtz sadly admitted. "All of my -inators are gone, along with the place I've been calling home for years now."

"Oh, Dad. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's not a total loss, though." He said, having realized something that he had forgotten. "I can't believe I forgot about this." He started fussing around in one of his pockets for something.

"What?"

"I built this a few weeks back after my building had somehow gotten destroyed by a missile. It's an -inator that can fix any building and reverse any damage it may have taken due to a natural disaster, and that includes Earthquakes."

"You actually anticipated this happening?"

"Hey. You can never be too careful. Ah, here it is." He pulled out a small, brown ball. "I stored it in the convenient form of this energy ball. Once I slam it into the ground, it was implode and transform into my "Repair-inator!" He threw the ball towards the ground. But instead of imploding into a big -inator, it instead unleashed a firework that took off into town. Vanessa and Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked on as the missile left their sight in seconds. "Oops." He chuckled nervously. "W-Wrong one."

Meanwhile, the missile, traveling at over 100 miles an hour, passed right through the city and flew into Maple Drive, eventually crashing into Cleveland's house. Ironically, before this, his house was the only house that had not been at all affected by the Earthquake.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked around and not only noted the damage done to his house by the missile, but also the damage done by the Earthquake. "Oh, so my house is protected from Earthquakes, but not from military weapons?"

Doofenshmirtz, back at the home, fiddled around in his other pocket and pulled out a pink ball this time. "Ahh, here it is."

"Pink?"

"What? They were out of manly colors!" He threw it into the ground. It imploded immediately and took its shape into a big laser. "Now, behold! The Repair-Inator! With this beauty, all I have to do is aim it at a building that has sustained damage from a natural disaster, like this Earthquake, and it will reverse the damage done, making the building look good as new."

"Can it really do that?"

"Yep. Just watch." He turned his machine on, and the laser started firing at the home. Within seconds, the house was beginning to repair itself; Vanessa, amazed, continued watching.

"Dad, that's amazing!" She shouted. She couldn't believe that the house was being repaired, but she also noted how slowly the process was going. "But wait, why is it taking so long?"

"Why is it that you kids want everything quick and fast. You never wait for anything anymore." He groaned. "Anyway, I had to keep it on its slowest setting because that is the only sure-fire way that the process will be completed properly, without any complication to the structure or my machine for that matter. But, not to worry. It should only take about 3 minutes to completely repair the home. But...it'll all be worth it."

"So, what are we supposed to do for for next 3 minutes?"

"Jeez, why do you kids always have to be doing something to pass the time? What's wrong with sitting on the ground and doing nothing?"

"It's...boring?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

* * *

The people on Maple Drive were becoming restless. Soon they started clamoring with each other, getting into arguments that weren't worth getting into. They were just upset, impatient, and cranky. All of them wanted the same thing: to have their house fixed so they could go home and relax. The kids all saw their parents' frustration, so they wanted to make sure they got their job down. So Phineas & Ferb quickly built small, but powerful scooters for the kids with the tools Ferb scrounged together before leaving the house.

"Wow. Nifty scooters." Isabella complimented, noting her pink scooter.

"Thanks. Lucky Ferb was able to savage some tools before the Earthquake wrecked our home."

"Yeah, but how are we gonna get into town without any of the grown-ups seeing us?"

"I don't think we have to worry about that." Irving said, turning their attention to far behind them, where the parents were becoming more paranoid, and were on the brink of snapping from frustration. "Look. See? The adults are all focused on beating each other up." Suddenly they all realized that nobody was paying attention to them because they were focused on beating the snot out of each other.

"Oh my gosh! Our parents are beating each other up!" Phineas shouted. "Come on. We have to stop them!" They rode their new jet-powered scooters over towards the big crowd of parents, and they tried desperately to stop them. Diving into the pile didn't work, as they all suffered punches & kicks all over. After trying to yell and scream over the noise & commotion, they resorted to drastic measures.

So Phineas stood up on a cardboard box, pulled out a bullhorn from his back pocket, and blew the eardrums off of all the adults (not literally of course), stopping them before any of them could land another punch. They all turned their attention to Phineas, as he pulled out a mega-horn this time.

"People of Maple Drive, lend me your ears!" Phineas shouted into the horn.

"How can we!" One guy obnoxiously said, trying to mess with Phineas. He could hear just fine, but he wanted to mess with him anyway. "You just blew our ears off with that stupid machine of yours!"

"That's my son you're talking about!" Linda shouted, defending Phineas.

"Well he's stupid! And his head has a weird and ugly shape!"

"Hey, you take that back!" Isabella screamed.

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't..." Phineas interrupted. "Then I'll have no choice but to replace your lips with Fruit by the Foot." And not a second later, the man's lips were replaced with many layers of delicious Fruit By The Foot. It muffled his speech so he was unable to speak, leaving Phineas the clear to continue.

"Did we just do a visual gag?" Ferb asked before Phineas started up again.

"People of Maple Drive, I can see from your many scraps and bruises that you are all frustrated with the current situation. But we can fix it."

"How?" A woman asked. "Didn't you hear them, boy? It was a 9.3! We barely see Earthquakes of these proportions anymore."

"What we need to do is get the word out. We need to tell everyone around the world that we are in some serious trouble here."

"Phineas, that's not going to work." Linda intruded, still oblivious as to who she was dealing with. Even after discovering that her daughter had been right about their various activities, experiencing one of her own, and almost losing them because of her big mouth, she still didn't think that the seemingly impossible could be done by them. "In case you haven't noticed, hour homes are completely destroyed, the ground is cracked like crazy, and the money it'll take to fix it will put the city into severe debt!"

"And in case _you_ haven't noticed, Mom, you're talking to a kid who has accomplished seemingly impossible things before with his friends." He pointed out. "I mean, we've traveled through time, through space, we made a boat of romance, we discovered Atlantis! Heck, we traveled around the entire world in one day!"

"Technically, it was _two_ days." Ferb pointed out.

"You flew around the world too? Where was I when you did all this!" Linda shouted. Phineas was a bit baffled that his mother was completely unaware of most of their activities. Though she discovered that they did this stuff not too long again, she didn't know too many specifics.

"Wow, you're slow, Mom."

"With a mother that has such slow wits, I'm surprised that he turned out as smart as he did." Isabella whispered to her Fireside Girls.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, the reason Haiti is still in such shambles is because nobody's doing anything about it. Nobody got the word out."

"Actually, Phineas, the Earthquake in Haiti was the headline of all newscast for at least a month after it happened." Holly pointed out, as the others did agree.

"Oh. Really? Well, alright then. Then look at what's happening? A month of full coverage and it's still in shambles! Do you want that to happen to us?" The adults and the kids started shaking their heads in disagreement. "Then we have to get the word out. I'm sure there's somebody outside of the Tri-State that wants to lend a hand, and we just have to reach out to them. That's why I'm suggesting that my friends and I go out into town and shoot video of what this devastating Earthquake's done to us."

Once Phineas finished proposing his idea to the adults, they began murmuring with each other, discussing this proposed option. While it was a good concept to get the word out of the damage, they didn't think it was a good idea to send children out there.

"Phineas, I don't think that's such a good idea!" Linda shouted to him.

"But Mom, don't you want us to get help?"

"Yes, but I don't think it's a good idea to send you children out there. We've already suffered about 10 aftershocks as it is. What if we get another one?"

"Or another big Earthquake, for that matter?" Vivian proposed, holding Pinky, Isabella's dog, safely in her arms.

"So what do we do then?"

"We want you all to stay here where it's safest. _We'll_ go into the town and film the damage and send it away for help."

"You mean all the parents?"

"Yes, Phineas. Because there is no way in heck we're letting all of you go out there by yourselves." Phineas got off of the box and all of the kids ran up to their parents, giving them big hugs before setting off. Phineas gave his father the camera and all of the parents took the scooters and headed off into the Tri-State Area. "Be careful, guys!"

"It if gets too dangerous, come right back!" Django yelled, waving to his dad.

"Bye Mom." Isabella choked up. She couldn't even yell to her mom before she was out of sight, as she clutched her dog tightly in his hands. Phineas comforted her as Ferb waved goodbye to his father. Perry growled loudly enough for the parents to hear them.

* * *

Back at Charlene Doofenshmirtz's home, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's newest -inator was about finished repairing the home. It was literally good as new, and it looked like it had never been affected by an Earthquake.

"And...finished!" He said triumphantly as the machine finally managed to fix the home. Vanessa didn't take her eyes off of the home the entire time. She was amazed at just how quickly it was able to fix itself. "What do you think, Vanessa?"

"Wow, Dad! It looks totally brand new!"

"Come on inside. Let's see just how powerful my -inator really is." He took Vanessa by the hand and led her into the newly rebuilt house. From the outside, it looked like it had been refurbished in a fountain of youth. On the inside, it looked like Doofenshmirtz had hired the best contractors to fix the house. As they went room by room, Vanessa couldn't believe how great it looked. "Any cracks anywhere or any tiles misplaced?"

"Not a single one. I can't believe it. It looks totally new. I can't wait until Mom sees this! She's gonna be stoked."

"Yes, why wouldn't she be?"

"So what about the rest of the Tri-State Area?"

"What about the rest of the Tri-State Area?"

"Dad, don't you understand what you have here? You have a device that could potentially change the Tri-State Area for the better. You could single-handedly reverse all the damage this Earthquake did."

"Yes, but that would include helping other people, and you know how I am about helping other people when my soul desire is to rule the Tri-State Area with an iron fist."

"But if the Tri-State Area is in shambles, then what's the point of taking control of it? What will you accomplish?"

"Uh..."

"Don't you want to conquer it when it's at its peak so you'll feel that much better about yourself when you crumble it?"

"I-I guess you have a point." As Doofenshmirtz pondered on this thought, the sounds of revving scooters got louder as Linda, Lawrence, & the other parents of Maple Drive came riding up, videotaping every building they came across, recording as much damage as they possibly could. They saw Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa standing there & stopped.

"Are you guys OK?" Lawrence asked them.

"Yeah. We're fine."

"Oh my goodness, look at that house!" Vivian pointed to the newly refurbished home of Charlene Doofenshmirtz. "It's...It's beautiful."

"But...But I saw it before, and it was in total shambles!" Linda shouted, pointing at the house and then at the device. "And what is that?"

"This? Um...well..." He looked over at his daughter, who gave him a convincing nod of the head, telling him to tell them of what he did. Doofenshmirtz was a bit aprehensive at this thought. He had tried for so long to conquer the Tri-State Area. The last thing he wanted to do was help it, but he knew that would also mean helping his family. "This is called the "Repair-inator." I used it to help fix the house."

He went on to explain what it did, and even demonstrated it on another house. The parents were all amazed at what they saw. Then the parents went on to explain what they were up to, and how they got the idea from the kids. After a long, winded conversation, Doofenshmirtz agreed to help them. He agreed to get to work on fixing homes while the parents continued their venture to videotape the town and then send the tape off to people who could help them. While they agreed that his invention was powerful, they also agreed that the job was far too big for one man to do on his own.

_**They say the beat of a butterflies wings,**_  
_**Can set off a storm the world away**_  
_**What if they're right and the smallest of things**_  
_**Can power the strongest hurricane?**_

After the adults got around the entire Tri-State Area and felt that they had enough pictures & video, they compiled them all into one package, and sent it off through the mail delivery system, which, for some reason, was still working. Doofenshmirtz continued working on his street with his -inator, but it wasn't so powerful so it couldn't do the job as quickly as he desired. Now all the kids could do is wait.

_**What if it all begins inside?**_  
_**We hold the key that turns the tide**_

After about 2 hours of waiting in the streets for something, they finally got their wish. Dozens of trucks carrying supplies for rebuilding the homes, along with some other machines, such as cranes n' stuff, started making their way down Maple Drive.

"Hey, look guys!" Buford shouted, pointing to where the trucks were coming from. "I think our prayers have been answers!" Soon, everybody was cheering, for relief was finally in sight.

_**Just a pebble in the water (ohh)**_  
_**Can set the sea in motion (ohh)**_  
_**A simple act of kindness (ohh)**_  
_**Can stir the widest ocean**_**_  
_**

With everybody's help, they all started getting organized. Some of the trucks stayed on the street, while others went into town to evaluate the damage. Phineas, Ferb, & the rest of the kids were committed to getting the job done before the sun went down. Not only did they focus on reconstructing the homes to the way they were before, but they also had to focus on fixing up the cracks in the ground caused by the quake.

_****__**If we show a little love**_  
Heaven knows what we could change (oh yeah)  
_**So throw a pebble in the water (oh yeah)**_  
_**And make a wave, make a wave**_  
_**(Make a wave, make a wave)**_

_**The single joys that you take and send  
And reach out your hand to someone in need (help somebody)  
Don't fool yourself and say you can't  
You never know what can grow from just one seed (yeah)**_

_**So come with me and seize the day  
This world may never be the same**_

Out in the Tri-State Area, construction was intense as workers worked to fix the homes that had been rattled. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was also helping out with his Repair-inator. Things were going smoothly for the most part. Buildings were being fixed up, families were being reunited with each other, and peace was being restored.

The same was said for the neighborhoods. Nearly every house was fixed as the sun began to set. Not only were they able to get the homes fixed, but food trucks also passed through the neighborhoods, and actually replaced all the food that had been lost in the disastrous Earthquake. This was a gesture Phineas & the kids had not accounted for, but they were all extremely grateful for it.

_**Just a pebble in the water (ohh)**_  
_**Can set the sea in motion (ohh)**_  
_**A simple act of kindness (ohh)**_  
_**Can stir the widest ocean**_  
_**  
If we show a little love**_  
_**Heaven knows what we could change (oh yeah)**_  
_**So throw a pebble in the water (oh yeah)**_  
_**And make a wave, make a wave**_  
_**(Make a wave, make a wave)**_

"Well, guys, it looks like this mission was a success." Phineas said, staring at the newly built homes proudly. The ground was nearly fixed and everybody was returning to their homes, leaving the Flynn-Fletcher family, and the Garcia-Shapiro family.

"You can say that again. Look at them." Isabella pointed out. "They all look brand new. It's as if the Earthquake never happened."

"You see what I mean, Mom?" Phineas turned to his parents, along with the other parents. "Even though you might feel like your actions are inferior compared to what these guys are doing, but something as little as spreading the word and encouraging people to take action is a big help in a disaster like this."

"I have to say, boys, you guys should be commended. You weren't ready to give up even though we all already did." Linda patted her son on the head and ruffled with his hair playfully. "How is it that even in the darkest of hours, you guys always manage to find a bright side?"

"I guess when you've been doing what we've been doing for so long, it comes naturally."

"Well, I'm still proud of you guys."

"Come on, kids. Let's all go inside and have a nice dinner. You all must be starving."

"Yes. Yes we are. Hey Isabella," He turned to Isabella. "You wanna eat with us?" She asked her as the rest of the family started heading inside.

"No, I think I'll head home to spend some time with my mom and my dog." Before Phineas started heading inside, she quickly pulled him aside. "But, I will be back for you later tonight. So make sure that cute and adorable butt of yours is ready for me."

Phineas chuckled. "I will."

"Oh, and Phineas..."

"Yes, I'll take a shower and clean myself up. Jeez, you'd honestly think I'd go to bed wearing the same clothes that I'd be wearing for over 48 hours? Although, going long periods of time without shower or changing clothes does sound like a fun project I'd like to do in the future."

"Well...you can be a bit oblivious at times. Trust me."

* * *

Meanwhile, after a long day of fixing up the Tri-State Area, Heinz, Charlene, and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz returned back to Charlene's house.

"Well, it looks like everything's slowly returning to normal." Charlene said as she opened the front door. "I'll call someone in the morning to fix our indoor plumbing. You know, Heinz, I still can't believe you built a ray that can reverse damage done by a natural disaster."

"See, Mom? I've been trying to tell you that he builds these crazy things every day."

"You also said that he does it for evil, and what I saw back there was nowhere near evil."

"Yeah, but..."

"Well don't get me wrong. Just because I helped those snot-nosed brats doesn't mean I'm turning over a new leaf. I still want to someday conquer those idiots and rule the Tri-State Area with an iron fist!" Heinz started shaking his fist into the air, swearing revenge on the people of the Tri-State Area. While Vanessa thought that she'd finally be able to prove to her mother that his father was evil, Charlene saw it as just a hollow threat, and even laughed about it.

"Yeah, you'll be overlord of the Tri-State Area when a woman becomes president." And as they went deeper into the house, Vanessa even started laughing. Heinz didn't know why they were laughing, as he was so sure that a woman could become president.

"Hey, hey are you saying a woman can't become president? It can happen! Crazier things have happened!" He saw that neither were going to turn around and come back to him so he decided to leave and head back to his home. As he was rounding the corner and heading back, he saw his nemesis, Perry the Platypus, standing there in his regular agent fashion n' stuff.

"Perry the Platypus? What are you doing here?" He groaned, but walked up to him anyway. "Well, if you're here to foil my evil plan, you're out of luck. I don't have an evil plan today. But I am getting pats on the back from people for using my newest -inator to help repair the buildings that were destroyed in the Earthquake. And what have _you_ been doing, Perry the Platypus? Well, not much I assume. After all, you _are_ a platypus."

And just as he thought things couldn't get any weird for him, he looked up in the sky and saw that his robot assistant, Norm, was coming down to Earth at a fast pace. He was coming down so fast that when he landed on the ground, not only did he crack the ground beneath him, but a nearby car was also lifted into the air and catapulted into the city when the ground rippled and flung him up. The driver started screaming like a maniac as the car headed for town. (You can guess what's gonna happen soon, can't you?)

"My name is Norm!" Norm shouted happily, having returned from his poker game. "I come bearing pizza!" He opened up his chest compartment and pulled out dozens of boxes of freshly baked pizzas.

"Norm, my goodness. That's a lot of pizza!" Doofenshmirtz noted. "And you sent a car hurdling into town. A two-for-one."

"Yes. Yes it is. So, what did I miss?"

"Y-You're kidding, right? You mean you didn't hear about the Earthquake the Tri-State Area suffered this morning. It was the most powerful Earthquake in over 25 years. How could you not have heard about it?"

"What's an Earthquake?"

Doofenshmirtz considered making another retaliation, but then decided that it was now nighttime, that it wasn't worth it. Plus, he was hungry. "Never mind. Let's just crack open those pizzas."

* * *

**During the Credits**

Meanwhile, back in Danville up Maple Drive, several house from Phineas & Ferb's house, the finishing touches were being put on a certain man's house. They were about to re-attach the roof onto Cleveland Brown's house.

"A little more...a little more to the left..." And Cleveland was giving them instructions. "Perfect. Now lower it carefully...carefully..." After hours of work on it, the house was not only reconstructed perfectly, but the roof was also placed on perfectly. "Perfect! Finally, my house is completed!"

The workers stepped out of the crane and approached the man. "And best of all, we've whipped you up with certain upgrades that make your house impervious to oncoming destruction, such as natural disasters, wrecking balls, missile fuselages, giraffes, tanks, just about anything that comes your way. If it doesn't, I'll eat my hard hat."

And as if on cue, the car that Norm sent flying just moments earlier came barreling down the street, and eventually crashed through Cleveland's house, not only destroying it yet again, but causing his bathtub that was on the second floor to slowly tip to the ground and eventually fall & break. Cleveland & the worker looked on.

"I don't suppose a protection plan for flying cars was included."

"Uh, no it wasn't. Oh well." He took off his hard hat and prepared to take a bite out of it. "I brought this on myself." And then he took a big bite out of his hard and started chewing. Cleveland was expecting him to throw it back up, but to his surprise, he kept eating it.

"I'm almost afraid to ask but...what's your hat taste like?"

"Bologna, and...Swiss Cheese...with a hint of paprika."

"Can I have some?" He asked, intrigued by the taste. But the worker hastily pulled away.

"No! This is my hat! My hat!"

**End of Episode 25!**

**How do you like that? Yet another episode in only four days. Hope you like it. And just in case you didn't know, the song I used was the Disney's Friends For Change anthem, entitled "Make a Wave" sung by Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato. Oh, and that Fruit By The Foot gag I used was based off several commercials I saw where two kids duel in an effort to replace the other's most valuable possessions with Fruit By The Foot. Type "Fruit By The Foot - Replacement" on Youtube and see what you get.**

**Next Time: A trip to England proves to be anything but relaxing when an old monument of the Fletcher family is in dangerous of being destroyed.**

**Expected Update: I'll try to get it up before August 14th, because that's, again, when I leave for vacation. I'm bringing my laptop with me, but I won't be able to update as quickly as I have been for the past few days.**


	33. 26a: History Repeats Itself

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 26a: History Repeats Itself**

**Episode Summary: Phineas & Ferb visit Ferb's grandparents in England, only to find out that a monument that has a Fletcher family history is about to be destroyed. So it's up to them to rally against this. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz takes up sky-diving to conquer his fear of heights.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The sun was up on another glorious day. Only this day wasn't taking place in Danville. No, the Flynn-Fletcher family were off on a trip to England to visit Ferb's grandparents. As they were boarding their plane, Phineas was talking with his girlfriend, Isabella, on the phone. He was trying to end it because cellphones weren't allowed to be in use once the plane got up and running.

"_I can't believe you'll be gone until tonight." _Isabella whined on the other line.

"I know. But it's just one day. Besides, you have your Fireside Girls to hang out with, along with Buford, Baljeet, Irving, Django, the whole group. You'll be fine without me."

"_Well, I guess you're right. It's just really lonely here without you."_

"Believe me, I miss you too. But I'll be back tonight and then tomorrow you and I can spend the day together." He took his seat, and seeing that everybody else was seated, he knew he had to end his call. "We're about to take off, so I gotta go. I love you."

"_I love you, too."_ He could hear her blow a kiss to him, so he blew one back before hanging up his phone. And after enduring a 7 hour, 18 minute flight from Virginia to England, a flight where they were forced to have their sleep on, the Flynn-Fletchers (and Perry, who was in the storage part of the plane) were finally where Ferb's grandparents were born in. They were finally in England.

They saw that the sun was coming up. So they decided to take a cab to the Fletcher residence. Finally, as the sun was simmering down, they knocked on the door of their grandparents' home. The door opened to reveal Reginald and Winifred Fletcher standing there, and they were elated to see them.

"Well, what a nice surprise this is!" Reginald shouted as he went up and hugged his daughter-in-law, son, & two grandkids. Winifred soon did the same. "Come on in." He escorted them all into their home. "So, I've been hearing some stuff about you blokes. And the big news is..." He bent down and gave Phineas a ruffle of his hair. "My grandson-in-law's got himself a girlfriend."

"How'd you find out about that?"

"Your little girlfriend tweeted about it twice a day since it happened." He answered, holding a cellphone with tweets Isabella posted about hers and Phineas's relationship.

"Oh, Isabella..."

"Anyway, I'm glad you all are here."

"Reginald's been dying to show you something that's been a part of the Fletcher family for generations." Winifred cut in. "Follow us, and we'll show you."Winifred and Reginald led them all to their car. But, before Phineas made his way out to their car, he noticed that something was missing.

"Hey, where'd Perry go?"

* * *

Truth was, Perry had headed deep into the home, to their living room. He turned on the TV, put on his hat, and watched as his boss, Monogram, took the screen.

"Good morning, Agent P. Our sources tell us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz was last seen boarding a helicopter with a parachute backpack on his back. This has led us to assume that he is going sky-diving...and that's ironic because as far as we know, he's always been terrified of heights. So, we want you to follow him and make sure he doesn't break his neck or worse. Good luck, Agent P." Perry saluted his boss and left the house in a heartbeat.

* * *

Deep into town, the Flynns & the Fletchers had driven up to something that the latter considered to be a big part of their family history. They drove up to a big statue that looked a lot like Ferb's great, great grandfather. He was holding his right arm up with his hand giving the "Peace" symbol, and his left hand over his heart, in a pose that represented triumph. "Here we are, folks. The statue of my grandfather: Harold Wiggins Fletcher."

"Wow, Grandpa! This statue looks awesome." Phineas observed the statue and was vastly intrigued by it. He was eager to learn more about the Fletcher family history. "What's it about?"

"Well, my boy, many, many years ago, back before even my own father was born, there was a Mosque that was planned to be built in this exact spot. Now, the town was split between two groups: one that was in favor of the Mosque, the other opposing it. It started out peacefully as just simple protests. But then those simple protests began to get increasingly violent until finally, a full-out civil war broke out."

"For years, the two sides kept at each other's throats, and all over a stupid Mosque. Many lives were lost in the war, and millions of dollars in damage were done to the country during that time. In fact, they were so wrapped up in the war that many people had forgotten what they were really fighting over. Finally, one day, years after the carnage started, my grandfather, your great, great grandfather, did something no other man dared to do. He built the entire Mosque himself! That's right, he built it in the middle of England for everybody to see?"

"He built all by himself?" Phineas asked.

"Yep. And in just one day, too."

"Well, I guess now we see where Ferb gets his talents from. So what happened after that?"

"Once the people of England saw the Mosque he built, they realized that there was really nothing special to it, and they all felt silly for wasting so much time in the war. And so, to thank him for showing them the light, they built a statue of him in his honor right in this very spot."

"Cool story. But what happened to the Mosque?"

"Oh, it was destroyed the day after to make room for the statue."

"Ahh. I see."

"And in looks like history's about to repeat itself." Some construction worker said as he approached them. He was followed by a couple of bulldozers & cranes. The Flynn-Fletchers turned to the worker.

"What are you talking about?"

"Yes, what's going on here?" Reginald inquired. "And what's with the construction gear, bloke?"

"OK, first off, don't call me "bloke". Second of all, we've been given orders by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to tear this statue down so we can make way for the new Mosque that is planned to be built here."

Every Flynn-Fletcher gasped in shock. Winifred and Reginald seemed the most shocked. "What? You can't do that!" Winifred retorted.

"I agree. This statue has been a part of the Fletcher family for many generations. It tells the story of a brave man who saved the United Kingdom from a total meltdown-"

"I don't give two cheese dogs what your portly aunt did for England years ago. This is the present, dude."

"Did he just call my great, great grandfather a fat lady?" Ferb asked.

"Anyway, I have orders from the Prime Minister, and I am not going to disrespect him."

"Well, you just disrespected me by interrupting me rudely."

"What's your point, old man?"

The family were all baffled by the guy's rudeness and his apparent impatience. "Look, we can't let you destroy this statue. It's an important Fletcher family monument. It's..." But before Phineas could continue, the guy turned his head, stuck his nose in the air, and gave him "the hand". "Oh, you did not just give me the hand!" And just as Phineas was about to continue, another worker, a much nicer & less rude worker, came up, and hit the other guy in the head with a bat. He fell to the ground where he lay unconscious.

"Sorry about that. He takes this job a bit too seriously. That, and the fact that he's the Prime Minister's son makes him a bit cocky." Phineas was about to burst out laughing, but covered his mouth and held it in. Winifred & Reginald soon did the same. "Yeah, I know. I said "cocky", ha ha, very funny. Anyway...look guys, you can't just stop us from doing this. If you want to halt the project, you're gonna have to talk to the Prime Minister himself. And let me warn you now, he's not a guy who'll just change his mind willy-nilly."

"You don't have to worry about that." Lawrence assured them. "They've done the seemingly impossible before."

"Yeah. Convincing a Prime Minister shouldn't be too hard. Come on, guys. Let's go." Phineas said encouragingly, as they all headed off for the Prime Minister's office. But just as they were leaving, the worker that was knocked out suddenly woke up, and rushed in front of them.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" He said quickly, stopping them before any of them could go any further. "No need to do that!" He shouted quickly, and then began retracting. "I mean, you can't do that."

"Why not?" Linda asked, becoming suspicious.

"Well, because...the Prime Minister's on vacation? Yeah, the Prime Minister left England for a vacation."

"He did?" The other worked asked, confused.

"Yes. He did." The guy in front of the family growled, gritting his teeth together.

"Oh well. We'll find some way to contact him. Better get going." And with that, the family moved the worker out of the way, leaving him and his partner there, the latter parter confused.

"We don't have permission from the Prime Minister to take this statue down, do we?" He asked his partner, who wouldn't so much as look in his direction.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Riding in a Copter!**_

"Dude, do you have an evil jingle for everything?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz along with his wife, Charlene, were up in a helicopter, over 150,000 having signed up for a sky-diving class to help the evil scientist conquer his fear of heights. It was in celebration of Heinz Doofenshmirtz's birthday.

"I'm so glad you agreed to come with me on this sky-diving birthday trip." Heinz said to Charlene.

"I still can't believe you actually wanted to do this."

"Well, I figured that if I'm ever going to learn how to jump off a diving board in a swimming pool, I might as well learn to jump from greater heights."

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"It doesn't have to! I have a monster truck!...at home in my garage, but still."

The pilot of the helicopter, who put his copter in auto-pilot, approached them, carrying two backpacks with parachutes in them, along with goggles. "Alright, you guys. We're approaching our taget destination. Put these on." He handed them the bags and they put them on their backs. "Now, let's go over the recommended sky-diving procedure one more time before you jump. First, when I say so, you're gonna step up to the ledge here. Then, you will follow these steps in order: First, you shall Squat."

"Squat." Heinz repeated while performing the action.

"Then, you'll Pray."

"Pray?"

"Pray. After that, you'll Leap."

"Leap. As in, jump off the ledge, right?"

"No, dummy. I mean leap, as in leap year. Yes, I mean jump off the ledge, dummy!"

"OK, OK. Lay off the sarcasm."

"After the leap, there's the next step: AAHHHHHHHH!" The man screamed, making Charlene & Heinz jump out of their skin.

"What was that for, man! You scared me!" Heinz shouted.

"Well, that's what you're going to be screaming while you're falling."

"Ah, I get it. That makes sense."

"And finally, after you pull the chord on your parachute and descend safely to the ground, you will "Touchdown" onto the ground."

"Touch down?"

"Yes sir. And that is Uncle Carl's Five-Step "S.P.L.A.T." Sky-diving Plan." He said proudly, completely unaware of the irony in the Acronym.

"Um, that spells "splat"." Charlene pointed out. Surprised at what she said, the guy took out a paper & pen and actually spelled out the Acronym. Spelling out each letter, this came as a surprise to him.

"Huh. So it does." He simply shrugged it off and prepared them for their jump. "Oh well. Well, you better get yourselves ready. I'll let you know when it's time to jump."

"Just out of curiosity, how high above the surface of the Earth are we, anyway?"

"We're approximately 28 1/2 miles above the surface of the Earth, which translates into roughly 150,000 feet."

"Oh..." Heinz began quaking in his shoes. "Really?"

"Yep."

Charlene and Heinz both approached the ledge. They squatted into a ready position and Heinz began praying. "Heinz, I don't think he literally meant that you have to pray."

"I know. But I always pray when I'm fighting Perry the Platypus that I won't end up in a hospital with scars or something like that."

"Wow, you take this "playing secret agent" thing a little bit too far sometimes."

"Playing secret agent? What are you talking about, woman?"

But before Charlene could retaliate again, the man approached them. "OK, time to jump." And then he shoved Heinz out of the helicopter, causing him to scream. "Hey, look at that!" He screamed to the falling Heinz. "That's four steps you already got down! Now you just need to touch down onto the ground!"

After watching Heinz fall for about 30-40 seconds or so, Charlene decided to jump after him, and so she leaped off the ledge and started screaming too. The man in the copter was pleased with the progress they were making. But all of that was about to change. After falling for about 3 minutes, Heinz was becoming too scared of the experience. "Help! HELP ME! OH, GOD! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Then he opened his eyes and saw that his nemesis, Perry the Platypus, had his hover car ready to catch Heinz in. "Perry the Platypus! YES! I'm saved! Let me just deploy my parachute and..." He pulled the chord to deploy his parachute.

He was met, however, with an unfortunate twist of events. Instead of a parachute deploying, a bunch of giant rocks attached to strings deployed. He looked up as the rocks were deployed, as did Perry from his hover car, and Charlene looked down as well, along with the pilot of the helicopter. "Oh, great." Heinz said. "Just gre-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Before the rocks started plummeting to the ground, taking him with them. Perry saw that Heinz was plummeting right towards him. With split-second thinking, Perry abandoned his car, allowing the rocks & Heinz to crash right through them, taking out the front half of it.

"Heinz!" Charlene yelled, still falling gracefully.

"Uh-oh." The pilot said to himself. "It just occured to me that I may have accidentally given that guy a bag with rocks in them instead of a parachute."

"Oh no! He's gonna crash into the ground and break every bone in his body." She immediately assumed that her bag had rocks in it too, so she figured she could deploy them and rush over to his aide. Unfortunately, as soon as she pulled the chord, she, too, was met with a twist of events. Her bag actually had a parachute in it, and she realized this as soon as she felt her rate of plummeting decrease severely. "Are you kidding me?" She said to herself, then turned her head up to the pilot. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Sorry about that!" He yelled back, just barely making our her rage and frustration. Meanwhile, thousands of feet below, Heinz was still plummeting and screaming his head off.

* * *

Down to Earth, back in England, the Flynn-Fletcher family were back in the Fletcher home. Phineas & Ferb were hard at work trying to get in contact with the Prime Minister. They took the worker's word that the Prime Minister was on vacation, but still decided to leave a message in his office.

"...and so, that's why we don't want you to tear down the statue of Harold Wiggins Fletcher. Please get back to us as soon as possible." Phineas finished his message for the Prime Minister and hung up the phone. "Man, that's the fourth message I've left and he still hasn't answered us back."

"Give him some time, Phineas. Maybe he's just really busy...having fun on his vacation." Linda tried to reassure him.

"Man, this stinks. They're gonna tear down that historic statue soon and there's nothing we can do about it."

"Darling, relax. I'm sure you'll think of something if you take your mind off of it for awhile." Winifred told her. "Go outside and play with Ferb for awhile. De-stress yourself and then come back."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I'm getting way too paranoid over this. I gotta relax a little." Phineas turned to his stepbrother. "Come on. Let's go outside and get some fresh air." He and Ferb started walking towards their door. They exited their room and went down the hallway to find their way outside. As they were turning the corner, they accidentally ran into an older gentlemen, and their velocity knocked them all down to the ground. "Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. I didn't see you." Phineas said frantically, helping the man up. He had no idea at all who he was; Ferb was the only one who knew.

"Oh, that's quite alright, boy. But be more careful. I'm not as flexible as I used to be." The man said in a thick, British accent. "Being Prime Minister takes a toll on you after a while."

"Wait. _You're _Prime Minister David Cameron?"

"Last time I check, I was indeed. Why?"

"Mister Prime Minister, sir, please call off your plans to destroy the Harold Fletcher statue." Ferb pleaded as best he could without sounding like a baby.

"I beg your pardon. I don't have plans to destroy that statue. It's an important part of English history."

"You're not? But...But those workers out there by the statue said that they were working under _your_ orders?"

"My orders? That can't be right...oh wait a minute? Was one of the wearing a navy blue shirt that was slightly tucked out and jeans slightly torn by the knees?"

"Yes. Yes he was."

"OK, I know what's been going on. Follow me, boys. We're off to stop those workers!" And he led them out of the building and took them into his car, heading off to the statue. (If this were on TV, it'd be a visual gag where the guy would snap his fingers, the screen would flip, and then they'd be there already)

They were with only moments to spare before the destruction of the statue commenced. There were many people there to witness it: fans who were for the destruction of the statue, and those who opposed it. There was a vast majority in those who opposed it, much to Phineas & Ferb's delight. "And now, the moment I've personally been-" The smug worker who was totally for the statue's death began. The worker next to him was completely against him, as he suspected that there was some foul play, and he was right.

"STOP!" The Prime Minister shouted, as he, Phineas & Ferb rushed over to them. Everybody gasped, including the workers.

_Oh no._ Worker #1 thought to himself.

"Prime Minister? But you're supposed to be on vacation." Worker #2 said.

"On the contrary, I have just returned from my vacation, and am ready to get back to work. Or at least I was until these two boys told me what was going on."

"Uh...uh..." The first worker started stuttering to find words as the others started murmuring to each other. "Yeah, dad. So glad you could make it. We're here celebrating the anniversary of the building of this statue."

"No, we're here because you said that he ordered us to destroy-" The second worker tried to tell the truth, but was punched vigorously in the stomach by the first worker.

"Ha ha. Don't listen to this dimwit. He don't know what he's talking about."

"Some way to treat your cousin."

"Heh. Cousin? I-I've never seen this guy before in my entire-"

"Oh, put a sock in in, Wallaby!" The Prime Minister finally shouted to his son. Everyone else started snickering, even Ferb. The first worker was shivering in embarrassment.

"M-My name's Wayne, dad!"

"And my name is Prime Minister David Cameron, and outside the office, you will address me as such! How dare you claim to have permission to destroy this statue when you didn't, and how dare you drag your cousin into this."

As the arguing began to escalate, the rest of Phineas & Ferb's family came into the scene, confused as to what they were seeing & hearing.

"What is blazes is going on out here?" Winifred asked.

Are you the Flynn-Fletcher family?" The Prime Minister asked.

"Yes?"

"You've all been tricked. I have never had any intentions of destroying this statue. My son, Wallaby, dragged his cousin into this mess and tried to convince everybody that I was on vacation. That way, they wouldn't need to console me for permission."

"What!" Everybody shouted in shock.

"Yep. He's been a very bad boy. Now, why would you do that, son?"

"Yeah, why do you hate what this man did for England so many years ago?" Phineas inquired.

"Oh, I think what he did was very noble and inspiring for generations to come. I just think that's an ugly statue." The worker replied honestly, taking everybody by surprised. The Prime Minister groaned as people shook their heads.

"That's why you wanted to destroyed it!" The second worker shouted in question. "Because you thought it was ugly?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't you do the same?" And before the second worker had a chance to retaliate with an answer, they all heard some faint screaming. They all looked up and saw that it was Dr. Doofenshmirtz screaming, still plummeting to the ground with his "rock parachute". And then, seconds later, the rocks plowed into the statue, and completely obliterated it, and the scientist followed no time later. Everyone's mouths dropped, shocked at this surprising turn of events. Reginald and Winifred seemed the most visibly upset.

Doofenshmirtz, having somehow survived the crash, slowly stood up, holding his head in pain. "Ow, my head. I feel like I just crashed into a famous 100-year old statue that ended a great civil war or-" He looked down and discovered that he had indeed crashed into a statue and had destroyed it, much to the horror of the Flynn-Fletcher family. "Oh dear." Nobody could even say a word. "Well, I guess I can cross "sky-diving" off my bucket list." With the hopes of leaving the scene before too much trouble was caused, he quickly took off his parachute bag and ran, only to be chased by everyone except the family as an angry mob. Heinz could be heard faintly screaming "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" in the distance.

"Well, Ferb," Phineas began, turning to his stepbrother. "I think it's safe to say that this was one of the weirdest days of summer we'll ever have."

"Next time, _we're _coming to visit you." Reginald told his children sternly, as they all nodded and said "Yep." in unison. And with that, the family all returned to the Fletcher home where the Flynn-Fletchers would pack their things and return home. "After all, America is much calmer than England."

"Good thing we're not where Candace is right now." Ferb added.

"Thank goodness for that."

**End of Episode 26a!**

**OK, so here's the plan for the rest of the summer. I go on vacation tomorrow. I'm bringing my laptop so I will be able to work on the next episode. But chances are that I won't be able to update until I get back on August 21st.**

**I still got plenty of episode ideas left: some include the Flynn-Fletchers getting tangled up with Dr. Doofenshmirtz's most evil plan yet that involves Phineas & Candace's biological dad , Candace's adventures in military training being further explored, another "Everybody Hates Chris" themed episode, a possible "Whodunit" themed episode, and so much more. So stay tuned!**

**Next Time: Isabella spends everyday with the love of her life. But what does she do when Phineas isn't around?**

**Expected Update: Don't expect anything until at least August 21st.**


	34. 26b: 3:10 to Lonely Town

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 26b: 3:10 to Lonely Town**

**Episode Summary: Isabella spends almost every day with Phineas, the love of her life. But what does she do when she's not around? How does she cope with trying to find something to do without Phineas and Ferb? Isabella has to find a way to keep herself busy while Phineas & Ferb are in England or risk going insane. Meanwhile, Pinky is given a unique mission from his boss. This episode takes place during the same day as the previous episode.**

**A/N: That "SPLAT" gag with Doofenshmirtz from the previous episode was taken from a "Drake & Josh" episode, in case you were wondering.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

"I can't believe you'll be gone until tonight."

"_I know. But it's just one day. Besides, you have your Fireside Girls to hang out with, along with Buford, Baljeet, Irving, Django, the whole group. You'll be fine without me_."

"Well, I guess you're right. It's just really lonely here without you._"_

"_Believe me, I miss you too. But I'll be back tonight and then tomorrow you and I can spend the day together." He took his seat, and seeing that everybody else was seated, he knew he had to end his call. "We're about to take off, so I gotta go. I love you._"

"I love you, too_."_ She blew a kiss over the line, and she could hear him one back before hanging up her phone. With Phineas & Ferb gone in England for the day, Isabella was left to find something else to do. She curled up in her bed and tried desperately to think of something to do. She sat there for a whole five minutes before she heard a knock at her door. "It's open." The door opened and she was greeted to her Fireside Girls troop. "Oh, hey guys. What brings you over?"

"What? We can't just waltz right in whenever we feel like it? There has to be a reason?" Adyson joked.

"No, I guess not." She replied with a chuckled.

"Anyway, why're you sitting like that? Something wrong?"

"I know. Phineas and Ferb are gone for the day and now you're forced to find something else to do. Right?" Gretchen inquired.

"Right on the nose. They went to England to visit Ferb's grandparents. Now I'm stuck here and I have to find something to do. If I do, I know I'm gonna go nuts."

"Don't worry, Isabella. We'll help you figure out something to do."

"Thanks, guys. I could use all the help I can get right now. Hey, did any of you see Pinky on your way in?" The girls all shook their heads as Isabella looked around the room quickly. "Hmm...I wonder where he goes all the time."

* * *

Meanwhile, Pinky, now in agent uniform and on his jet pack high above the neighborhood, was off to his nemesis's evil lair, just for the sake of it. It was then that he received a message on his communicator watch from his boss, Wanda Acronym.

"Good morning, Agent Pinky. I hope I'm not disturbing you doing anything important. It is imperative that you return to your lair at once. That is all." Her short message ended abrutly with static. Pinky, confused, decided to follow her orders and return to his base. He flew his jet pack back to Isabella's house, and landed it in the backyard, where he entered the home through a secret entrance. After taking the elevator down and arriving back at his lair, he discovered the reason why his boss ordered him back.

His lair was in total shambles. Everything was destroyed, including all of his gadgets, his big screen, and even his chair. On his desk, there was a note on his desk. He picked it up, and it read, "_Dear Agent Pinky, if you're reading this note, it means that we are under attack. Your nemesis, Professor Poofenplotz, has built an army of robots and invaded my division of the O.W.C.A.. They've attacked every other agent except for you, but I can only imagine how long it'll be before they show up and attack you. Be careful, Agent Pinky. The fate of the O.W.C.A. is in your hands_."

Upon finishing reading the note, he heard a crash coming from the roof of his lair. He looked behind him to see that there were two shiny, white, robots that had no legs and instead had jet packs for legs and arms that could morph into any weapon at will, floating by the holes they made, and locked onto Pinky. They morphed their arms into laser cannons and began shooting at him. Pinky used his incredible martial arts skills to dodge out of the line of fire.

He planned a counterattack on them, but they were firing too quickly he couldn't get enough breathing room to launch an attack on them. On top of that, the lasers were destroying the few weapons that were undamaged from before, and rendering them useless.

* * *

Back to Isabella, her fellow Fireside Girls and her were outside trying to think of something to do to keep her mind off of Phineas. "So, what do you do when you're madly in love with a boy and you can't stop thinking about him?" Isabella asked her troop.

"You do something to take your mind off of him." Adyson responded, and correctly, too. "The question is: what can you do?"

"How about we work on earning a patch you don't have yet?" Holly inquired.

"Are there any?" Isabella asked, looking at her nearly full sash. "I've already gone through 4 sashes. What other patch is there?"

"How about the "Papier-mâché" patch?" Gretchen read in her Fireside Girls manual. "We never worked on that."

"That sounds like fun. Let's get the stuff and get to work." So the girls all ran back to their respective homes and gathered some Papier-mâché equipment and got to work in front of Isabella's house.

**Papier-mâché**

**Fireside Girls must demonstrated extraordinary crafting skills with Papier-mâché by crafting something that has meaning to them.**

They worked with a small distance from each other so none of them could get a peek at what the other was making. And after about ten minutes of sculpting with Papier-mâché, they were all finally finished with their sculptures...well, everybody except for Isabella. She took just a little bit more time. But once they were all done, they showed their creations off to each other.

"OK, now that we're all done, it's time to show off our sculptures." Isabella ordered.

"I made a fire truck, because my father's a fireman." Gretchen said, revealing her sculpture.

"I made mine in a sailboat, because my parents were sailors before I was born, and my dad promised me a yacht when I turn 18." Milly said, revealing her sculpture to be a small dingy.

"I made..." Isabella revealed her project, and her face suddenly fell. "Phineas." Her sculpture was in the exact shape of Phineas. Every detail was perfect, from his hair color to the length of his pant legs, even the shape of his head was perfect. "Oh man, that didn't work at all!"

"But on the bright side, we did all earn our Papier-mâché patches." Adyson noted, handing all of the girls patches.

"What good is that when I'm still thinking about my beloved?"

"We need to try something else." Katie said.

"Don't worry, Isabella." Gretchen went up to her troop leader and offered her condolence. "We'll find something for us to do, and hopefully it'll take your mind off of Phineas until he returns home."

"But it's so hard to not think about him. I mean, how could anybody forget about his bold, optimistic attitude, his kind & caring personality, his drive to push the boundaries of physics, the way he shakes his butt back & forth when he dances..." She stopped on that fourth one and looked at her friends, who were each exchanging confused looks to each other and then at her. "Sorry."

"What now? We have to try something else to get Isabella's mind off of Phineas." Milly said, getting the troops back on track.

"Let's try earning another patch. What else is there?" Ginger asked, as Gretchen started flipping through her Fireside Girls manual again, looking for another patch to earn.

* * *

Back in Pinky's lair, the secret agent was still trying to fend off two attacking robots that came out of nowhere. With nearly his entire lair destroyed, along with all of his weapons, he was running out of battle options. The robots seemed to have no weaknesses at all, because no matter what Pinky threw at them, they either deflected it back at him or dodged the attack. But that opinion of them changed after they turned around in an effort to leave, and Pinky noticed a very tiny black spot in the middle of their back pieces. He tried firing from his ray gun, and when the laser went into that hole, the robot was left temporarily paralyzed.

Pinky came to the conclusion that the robots' back pieces were its weak spot. So, with his last remaining weapon, a baseball bat, he leaped into action and smashed one of the robots in its back. To his surprise, the robot actually bent forward in two and fell to the ground. Electricity crackled around it as it began shutting down, leaving Pinky just one robot.

Unfortunately, the other robot had adapting powers, so as soon as it saw Pinky take down the other obot with a bat, it adapted its body and strengthened its weak spot to resist the baseball bat's attack. But before it could, Pinky smacked it down and completely destroyed it. As Pinky watched the two robots crackle with electricity, he was surprised when his cracked screen came on with an image of his boss.

"Well done, Agent Pinky." She said on the other side. Pinky turned around, surprised to see his boss up on what was supposed to be a broken screen. "You've passed level 1 of the simulation. And in the fastest time of any of our agents. Well done." Pinky lowered his eyebrows in confusion and in a bit of anger. "What?" His eyebrows lowered even more. "Oh, that. Well, I've set up various surprise simulations in each of my agents' lairs to test their skills involving combat & weapon use. You did admirably, Pinky. And now, you're moving onto the second level of this simulation."

Pinky wasn't impressed at all. He was not impressed with the fact that he had been lied to about his agency and about his nemesis's action, and he wasn't impressed with the fact that all of his weapons were actually destroyed.

"Oh don't be like that, Agent Pinky. We'll replace your weapons. Of course, you'll have to pay for all the damages. After all, it's in your contract that I personally cannot be held responsible for damage done to your weapons or your lair because of your carelessness. I guess I'll have no choice but to take this out of your paycheck. Oh, it'll probably take 3 months worth to fix-" Before she could finish, Pinky refused to hear any more. Fed up with the fact that his boss not only put him through a surprise simulation, but he also had his weapons destroyed and he was about to take a major pay cut. He wasn't happy, so he shut the screen off and cut off communication from his boss.

And yet surprisingly, Wanda didn't get the message. "Humph. How rude!" She said coldly, crossing her arms. Major Monogram, who was right next to her, having giving the same simulation to an agent of his. The difference, though, between the two divisions, was that Monogram alerted his agents of the simulation the night before, and took them to a secret location for his simulation. "I'll definitely be docking his payment now."

"Rude? Says the woman who tricked her agency with surprise simulations, destroyed all of their equipment, and docked their pay for no reason." Monogram pointed out, making Wanda sweat a bit.

"Now that I think about it, I probably took the wrong approach with this. Oh boy, I hope he doesn't quit on me."

"I wouldn't be surprised with this. You really should value your agents more, like I do with Agent P."

"He thinks of him as the son he never had." Carl said off-screen.

"Carl, stay out of this!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the pressure of trying to find an activity to distract Isabella was mounting. After trying Papier-mâché, the girls decided to go for another patch, the "Save a Helpless Animal" patch. The girls all headed for the Tri-State Area's Animal Shelter, where they set out with a group of animal rescuers, and searched the Tri-State Area for lost and abandoned pets. During their trip, which took most of the day, they found hundreds and hundreds of abandoned puppies.

They took them all back to the Animal Shelter, and just when Isabella thought that her troubles were over, she said goodbye to one of the poodles and saw that his name tag had "Phineas" on it.

So after the Animal Shelter incident, the Fireside Girls headed back to Isabella's house to figure out another patch they could earn. After long thought, they decided to go for the "Help Thy Neighbor" patch by helping one of their neighbors out. They considered everyone, including Buford. Ginger originally suggested Baljeet, but none of the other Fireside Girls thought that Baljeet was "cute enough" for the job. Eventually, they all came to a consensus and decided to help Irving.

Irving was having trouble making a gift for his Uncle Henry's birthday, so the girls pitched in to buy something for him. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy for Isabella, because when she returned to the home with her present, she showed up with a pair of clothes usually worn by Phineas.

So with that failed, they all returned to Isabella's home. "Well, that failed."

"Don't give up, chief." Gretchen tried to console her. "There has to be something we can do, something action-y and really intense so you won't even have time to think about Phineas."

Isabella wasn't as hopeful as the other girls were, but her mood began to change when her portable radio went off. "_We interrupt this very hippy song for a breaking news bulletin. Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker. We have received confirmed reports that Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz has been kidnapped out of his own office. His assistant, Melanie, told Channel 5 that she saw a skinny, fraile figure break through the window, put a bag over him, and dragged him out. The identity of the kidnapper is currently unknown, but she described her as looking "a lot like Paris Hilton". That is all for now."_

"The Mayor's been kidnapped?" Katie asked. "Oh that's terrible!"

"You know what I just realized?" Adyson asked, opening her Fireside Girls manual to a page and showing them another patch they hadn't earned. "We haven't earn our "Search and Rescue Mission" patch yet."

"We haven't?" Isabella asked. "Huh, I could've sworn we earn that patch already."

"Nope."

"Well then, I think we know what we have to do. Girls, are you ready to earn your "Search and Rescue Mission" _and_ your "Reckless Disregard for Life and Limb" patch?" Isabella asked, as her confidence began to grew, and her smile began growing. Her troop members began cheering. The cheering lasted for a good few seconds before it died down, and the smiles all turned to frowns.

"Now what? We don't even know where the Mayor was taken to." Holly pointed out, bringing down the morale (unintentionally of course) of the group.

"That's true. We don't." Isabella agreed and began pacing around the yard, trying to figure out where they should begin in order to rescue Mayor Doofenshmirtz. Behind Isabella's house, Pinky, who had escaped his lair and decided to head home, overheard this conversation and decided to investigate the whereabouts of his nemesis.

Searching the Tri-State Area far and wide, he was finally able to locate Poofenplotz; she was stowed away in one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz Abandoned Evil Annex Buildings.

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Annex!**_

After writing down the address and location, Pinky returned to Isabella's house, and now had the task of delivering the note to her without blowing his cover. So, he decided on the only logical way he could think of: taping it to a rock and dropping it into the group, which he did, but he also hit Isabella on the head with it.

"Ow!" She shouted as she looked down and saw the rock. "Hey, what's this?" She read the note aloud. "_Mayor Doofenshmirtz's whereabouts."_ Then she silently read the address to herself. "Hey guys, I think I know where Mayor Doofenshmirtz is!" She gave the note to everyone as they each read it themselves.

"Who would just drop this note out of nowhere and expect us to just believe it?" Ginger inquired. "I mean, this could be a total lie. We could go to this place and he might not be there, and then he may never be found."

"Maybe, but we won't know until we try." Isabella retorted back. "Now...how are we gonna get there quickly and efficiently? Wait, I know!" She snapped her fingers, the screen flipped, and the girls all suddenly found themselves outside of the building where Mayor Doofenshmirtz was taken to. The girls all took a quick look around, surprised and a bit confused. (A/N: If this were a visual gag, it would work a lot better)

"What the heck was that?" Milly, skeptical, asked.

"That was a visual gag. Hey, I just earned my "Defying The Laws of Animation" patch." She proudly took out a patch and placed it on her almost full sash. "Alright, girls. Now remember, he's being held hostage on the second floor." She took out a grappling hook and threw it up onto the roof. Getting it steady, she, along with the other girls, started slowly climbing it, careful as to not be spotted. They had no idea how dangerous Professor Poofenplotz could be. Of course, the worst she could do was use pepper spray on them.

They slowly made their way up the building, and once they approached the second floor, they peered into the window and saw Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz tied up right by the window. The girls managed to get open the window by breaking the locks and jumped in to start untying him. "Who are you people?" He asked.

"Shh, keep your voice down, Mayor." Isabella hushed him. "We're trying to save you."

"But I don't need saving. I'm the Mayor!" He said a bit smugly, but he softened his voice so as to not draw unneeded attention.

"If you're the Mayor, then why can't you get yourself out?" Holly asked, with a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"Now there's no need for sarcasm, Missy. Heck-" But as he was retaliating, there was a creak by the door. They all gasped and thought that it was his kidnapper. Of course, it was just a creek, but they didn't want to take any chances. "Oh no. She's coming back. I don't like her. She's scary."

"Then keep your voice down and we'll get you out of here." The Fireside Girls were able to untie him in a breeze, and before they knew it, they were able to get him out of the window and safely back down onto the ground. They left absolutely no traces of their presence in the room, which was beneficial to them since Professor Poofenplotz had now returned to the room to berate his capture.

"Oh Mayor Doofenshmirtz, I have a little surprise for you." She said as she slowly opened the door holding a box with a ring in it. She dropped her jaw and gasped in horror when she saw that he was gone. "Roger! Oh no! He's gone!" She rushed up to the spot where she had tied him up, dropped to her knees, and started crying. "NO! Now I'll never find true love! And I had our wedding planned out and everything!"

The girls returned the mayor to City Hall and then returned to Isabella's front yard. "Well, girls, I think we can all say that this patch earning has been a huge success!" The troop leader declared, and was met with many agreeing cheers. "And best of all, I haven't thought about Phineas for nearly 3 hours."

"_Aw, don't tell me you've forgotten about me already. And I was really starting to warm up to you_." A sarcastic voice said behind her. The girls all knew who it was before Isabella did. Isabella had to stop for a second and process that voice. But as soon as she did, she got goosebumps all over, and she knew instantly who it was.

"Phineas!" She shouted gleefully, turning around and seeing her boyfriend there with Ferb, as they had just returned from England. She jumped right into his arms and gave him the biggest hug & kiss she ever gave anybody, before going and giving Ferb a hug too. "You're back! But I thought you were in England visiting Ferb's grandparents."

"We were, and we did."

"Let's just say...things didn't go according to plan." Ferb added.

"OK, then."

"So we decided to come home."

"Good, 'cause I missed you a lot. I mean, I was miserable almost all day."

"Are you sure about that? From the sounds of people talking in the town, it seems that you had a great day. You rescued the mayor from sure destruction. You didn't need us at all."

"Well, not in that sense, but it took me almost all day to find an activity to do to take my mind off of you."

"And on that note, I think it's time that we all went home." Adyson intervened. "It's almost past our curfews anyway. G'Night." She and the other Fireside Girls departed and started heading back to their own homes, leaving Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella there.

"Yeah, it is getting late." Phineas noted. "I think we're gonna head home and settle in. I'll see you later...?" He was asking rather than telling. After the day Isabella had, he wasn't sure what she wanted to do.

"Of course, Phineas." She leaned in and kissed him, and as he & Ferb were leaving, just as he was passing her, Isabella reached out and slapped Phineas's rear end, which made him blush & giggle at the same time. Ferb rolled his eyes. Phineas used to hate that, but now he can't get enough of it. "Later, cute butt." She said, waving endearingly to him. As they left her sight, she sighed deeply and turned around to go back into the house. As she did, she saw her dog, Pinky, walking with her. "Oh, there you are, Pinky."

* * *

**During the Credits**

**_Doofenshmirtz Stranded in England!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz now had the difficult task of trying to find a way to get out of England after having just plummeted into the ground from 100,000 feet, destroying a precious statue. "Oh, ow, my back." He said, straining as he rubbed his back. "It's hunched enough as it it." He took the parachute bag off of him and looked around. "Now, how am I gonna get home? I've got nothing to work with and as far as I'm concerned, Charlene's still 90,000 feet above me. It's gonna take her all night to get down here."

He walked a little further, trying to find a way home, when he looked down and saw a green rubber band lying on the floor. "Hmm, that's a pretty big rubber band." He said as he picked it up and attempted to stretch it. "And it stretches very well. It must be made with super special density. That gives me an idea."

So he found two buildings, and tied the rubber band to both of them. His idea was to slingshot himself back to the Tri-State Area. "Tri-State Area, here I come!" He shouted, as he got himself into position, and started taking steps back to gain some power. When he was sure that he had enough strength, he lifted his feet, and was catapulted into the air. "YE-HAW!" He shouted as he flew through the skies. He was flying at a quick pace, but what he did not realize was that he was gaining altitude so much that he actually crashed himself into the helicopter that he jumped from.

"What in blazes!" The pilot shouted.

"Heh heh...you won't tell anybody about this, will you?"

**End of Episode 26b!**

**Next Time: Stacy gets hit hard when she learns about the value of a dollar. (And yes, it is an "Everybody Hates Chris" themed episode)**

**Expected Update: ?**


	35. 27: Cash For Klutzes

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 27: Cash For Klutzes **

**Episode Summary: After breaking something in the house, Stacy learns the value of a dollar; she is given the difficult task of paying her father back all the money she borrowed from him. And it proves to be so much tougher than she thought. Meanwhile, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N hosts his own Olympics for animals, and all of the agents are invited! All quotes in bold are done by Chris Rock.**

**A/N: This episode spans over a period of 2 days.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

It was another bright day. People were enjoying themselves, and having the time of their lives as the middle of the summer fast approached. The same could be said for Stacy, who was having a dance party with Jeremy. They were listening to some of their favorite "Betty's" music, while being careful not to break anything. Stacy seemed to be enjoying the music the most, as she was really busting some moves

**If you had never lived in Danville before, you wouldn't think that it could be anything but boring.** In fact, Stacy was enjoying it so much that she lost all sense of control, and started moving her body all over the place. "Wow, Stacy. You've got moves." Jeremy said, surprised at just how well a dancer Stacy was.

"Thanks. I used to take dance lessons when I was younger. I guess I still remember everything I learned!" She continued dancing but stopped paying attention, and before she knew it, she had bumped into an expensive vase that was sitting on the table. It tipped over, fell on the floor, and broke into pieces. **You'd be wrong. **Both Jeremy and Stacy stopped as Jeremy muted the music. The latter was very shocked and very upset."Oh no! Dad's vase!" She shouted. "He told me to stay away from it at all times. He's gonna kill me." **I didn't know they taught dancers how to break things anymore.**

"Your dad bought that vase?"

"Yeah. What? He has a soft side. Vases aren't just for girls." **Tell that to Ice Cube.** "But more important, I can't let him see that I..." Before she could finish her sentence, she was interrupted with the sound of the front door opening. It was her dad, Mr. Hirano (who, if this was a real episode, would be portrayed by Terry Crews, the actor who plays the father on **Everybody Hates Chris. **Also, I'm not revealing his first name just yet. You'll have to keep reading) carrying a briefcase. He worked as an accountant. "Dad?" **Everybody quiet! I wanna hear Stacy's last words.**

Mr. Hirano took one good look around and saw the broken vase. He dropped his mouth open as Jeremy slowly took his boombox and began to back out of the room. "Um, I'm just gonna...you know, go now. Good seeing you, Mr. Hirano." And with that, he took off back to his house, running faster than he had even run before. **Jeremy just set a record in the "100-meter Run-Like-A-Girl".**

Stacy gulped. She wasn't looking forward to what was in store for her punishment wise.

* * *

_____[**Everybody Hates Chris** theme song plays]_

_____

* * *

_**What started out as a peaceful evening of dancing and relaxing was about to turn into a world of hurt for Stacy.** Stacy's dad eyed her daughter down like the devil. After having broken the vase she was told specifically to stay away from, she knew that she was going to be in trouble.

"OK, dad. I know you're mad right now, but I can explain."

"There's no need for explaining right now. Your broke something, and it needs to be cleaned up. Now get upstairs! I'll deal with you when I'm done down here." He pointed upstairs, signaling Stacy to go up to her room. She was in trouble now. **Busted.**

As Mr. Hirano was finishing up cleaning the vase, Dr. Hirano, Stacy's mother, came in. "Hi, honey. I'm home." He stood up to greet her, but she was met with a very angry set of eyes. "What happened here?"

"Stacy broke my vase." He said calmly, but rather coldly, as he slowly finished up. "She was having a boy over, and somehow she knocked it off the table."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's it?" **When it doubt, never say "Oh" without something else after it. **"That's all you have to say? This was a $75 vase she broke." **My father once bought our family a vase that looked exactly like the one Stacy broke, and it only cost 87****¢. **"She's getting a bit too reckless with our money."

"What are you talking about?"

"Last week, she broke our Christmas picture frame. That was a $33 frame. Two days ago, she convinced you to spend $350 on concert tickets. And yesterday, she used my credit card and spent $200 on back-to-school clothes. I mean, school's not til September, right?" **Phineas & Ferb bought their back-to-school clothes before the school year even ended.** "She's getting too reckless with money. She doesn't know the value of a dollar."

"Then what do you suppose we do?"

"I'll go up there and give our daughter an ultimatum she'll never forget." He said as he trudged upstairs right to Stacy's room. Stacy was sitting on her bed, waiting for punishment from her dad. But Terry wasn't in the mood to hand out punishments. He wanted to give out an ultimatum. "Stacy?" He said as he slowly opened the door.

"Yeah?" She was a bit aprehensive as her dad made her way slowly to her. "Look, Dad, I know you're upset."

"Oh believe me, I'm beyond upset. Stacy, do you know how much that vase cost? $75." **I didn't even see as much as $16 before I became famous.** "Do you know how long it took me to earn $75?" **25 minutes?**

"I'm sorry, Dad. It was a total accident. Besides, you can just replace it, can't you?"

"No, I can't. Stacy, money doesn't work like that. You can't just break stuff and expect it to be replaced. It was $75! And on that note, you can't just blow money out like it's the 4th of July. We need it to pay bills. You know, electricity, food, gas, oil...that stuff costs money."

"So?"

"Stacy, it's time for you to learn the value of a dollar. So I'm going to make you pay back all of the money you have wasted. You know, shopping, concert tickets, breaking things, that kind of stuff."

"OK, and how much is that?"

"Well, taking into account the vase you broke today, the concert tickets you bought the other day, and your new...back-to-school clothes, and a bunch of other things you've done over the years, that comes to a grand total of..." He took out a calculator and quick began typing in the numbers. Finally, he came to a grand total and showed it to Stacy. "$1,392." Stacy nearly keeled over hearing that number.

"W-What! I don't remember it being that much!"

"How can you not remember borrowing that kind of money?" **How can you borrow that kind of money in the first place?**

"OK, then. How am I supposed to get that kind of money?"

"Easy. You get a job."

"What kind of job can I get with a 10th grade education?" **I don't know. Ask George Bush.**

"You're gonna have to figure that out, because until you pay me back all that money, you're not gonna see another "Betty's" concert."

"But that's not fair!"

"It _is_ fair, and I suggest you get started earning my money back. I hear they're coming to town in a few days." With that note, he decided to get back up and leave the room. Stacy was left distraught, and collapsed onto her bed. **I haven't seen a girl that distraught since my mother went a whole week without eating her turtles.**

**

* * *

While Stacy's revenue had to go up, the morale of the O.W.C.A was plummeting down. **Meanwhile, down under, Perry was already in his lair, about to receive his mission from his boss. He looked down on his desk to see a note there before turning on the screen to see his boss there.

"Good morning, Agent P. If you'll look on your desk, you'll find a note. If was sent by Dr. Doofenshmirtz inviting you to be his partner for the 1st annual "L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. Agent/Nemesis Olympics. It's like the regular Olympics, sort of, except that you and Doofenshmirtz will be partners. Now I know you don't really want to do this. I don't blame you, but all of our agents nemeses sent them the exact same letter, inviting them to participate, and threatening to find their owners and blow them up should they decline." Perry's eyes opened. "So get out there and do your best. And be vigilant. Doofenshmirtz could try anything at anytime, and nobody is safe from their wrath." **Except idiots wearing lab coats.**

**

* * *

**"Wow, Stacy. Sorry to hear that." Jeremy was talking to Stacy over the phone. She called him to explain what had happened with her dad.

"I know, right? Totally harsh. And he won't let me go to any more concerts until I pay him back in full."

"Gosh, that's bad. And I heard the Betty's are coming to town in 3 days for a one-night only concert."

"What! I have to see that concert! Oh, but my dad won't let me go until I give him his money back."

"Bummer. Anyway, good luck with that."

"Thanks." She hung up her cellphone and put it down on her bed. She didn't know what she was going to do, so she just lied on her bed like a lost soul. But after a moment of that, she pulled out a newspaper that she had under her bed and opened it up, going right for the job listings. "Alright. If I'm going to get $1,400 in 3 days so I can see the Betty's concert, I'm gonna have to get a job that pays big and pays quick and doesn't require that much work." **When I was a kid, I had the same philosophy: no hard work, just easy pay. But I soon learned that it feels much more satisfying when you work for your money. Otherwise, you're like my Uncle.**

She flipped through the pages, looking for something easy, and that paid well. "Cashier at Slushy Burger?" **Nope.** "Martial Arts Instructor Assistant?" **After I broke Drew hand, I swore myself away from karate. **"Hey, here's something. "Come see Ben Stein's annual "Bore-You-To-Sleep Seminar", a seminar on economics, marriage, and other really boring things that would surely put people to sleep. Also get the once in a lifetime chance to hear William Henry Harrison's inauguration speech. Anyone who can survive 8 hours of this boredom without falling asleep without leaving the room - not counting bathroom breaks - will receive $3,000 cash. Oh, I am so in!" **You might as well stamp the word "sucker" on her forehead.**

So Stacy looked up the address of the seminar, and dated off, since it was starting very shortly. She found herself going to an old abandoned building, into a classroom where the seminar was being held. She wasn't expecting the room to have anyone but her, but to her surprise, the room was actually packed. Heck, there were only a few available seats left. She took one of the empty seats, and noticed that the person sitting next to her was a Fireside Girl.

"Milly?" She tapped the girl's shoulder; she turned her head and revealed herself to be Milly. "You're here for the seminar, too?"

"Oh, hey Stacy. Yeah, I still need to earn my "Go-To-A-Boring-Seminar-And-Stay-Awake" patch." She replied, showing her the empty spot on her sash.

"Have you gone to this seminar before?"

"Yep. Three times before, and each time I've fallen asleep from boredom."

"Don't worry. Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe you'll go more than an hour before you fall asleep."

"Actually, I've never made it an hour." **Seriously? Even I was able to go 3 1/2 hours at that dumb seminar before I jumped out of the window in frustration. Of course, I did end up in a wheelchair for a month, but still...**

"Oh. Uh, 30 minutes?" Milly shook her head again, and Stacy's face fell. "20?" Again, a head shake. "10? 5? Come on, Milly. You're breaking my heart, here."

"My best time is 1 minutes and 23 seconds." She said sheepishly, blushing. **Wow. Even my father did better than her.**

"It's really _that_ boring?"

"Well a lot of people I've talked to say that it isn't that boring and that it could be the first step in the biggest investment of our entire lives. I guess it's just my incredible impatience and the fact that for some reason, I fall asleep extremely quickly that keeps me from enjoying the whole thing. Besides, I'm only in it for the 3 G's."

"Me too. Long story."

"Maybe fourth time's the charm for me."

As the last seats were being taken, Ben Stein walked into the room, holding a bunch of papers in his hands. "Good morning, class, and welcome to the first good decision of the rest of your life. My name is Ben Stein, and I will be guiding you as I tell you all the wonderful things that can happen if you decide to take a career in Economics." He began in a drone, boring voice. **I haven't heard a voice that boring since...the last time I had lunch with Ben Stein.**

Immediately, people in the audience were feeling bored. But the majority of the class was actually enjoying the seminar so far. Stacy & Milly were not in that group. "Well, this might be the most boring thing I've ever had to listen to in my entire life." Stacy said with a yawn as she rested her chin on her hand. "But at least I won't have to sit through this travesty alone. Right, Milly?" She glanced quickly to her side for support from Milly. Unfortunately, when she turned, she saw that her supporter was already fast asleep, snoring loudly and drooling on the desk.

Her head had already fallen onto the desk and Milly was already out cold from boredom, having not even come close to her best time. In fact, this was her worst time ever. Stacy checked her watch. "Wow. 8 seconds. That's..." **Pretty depressing. Good luck finding love. **"Well, I guess I'm on my own here. Maybe this won't be so bad."

"And now..." Ben Stein continued. "Before I go any further, you are all in for a treat, as I am about to read you William Henry Harrison's inauguration speech, the longest inauguration speech ever given by a president." He took out the papers, and cleared his throat.

_Oh this should be good_. Stacy thought to herself.

"_Called from a retirement which I had supposed was to continue for the residue of my life to fill the chief executive office of this great and free nation, I appear before you, fellow-citizens, to take the oaths which the Constitution-"_

Not even 10 seconds into the speech, Stacy quickly became bored, and had to fight off sleep, lest she risk losing her three grand. Her eyes began quickly drooping, and a lot. But she fought to keep them open.

"_It was the remark of a Roman consul in an early period of that celebrated Republic that a most striking contrast was-"_

She began snoring lightly, but stopped herself before she was fully asleep. "Man, this is torture!" She said quietly to herself. "But I gotta-" She yawned loudly. "stay awake. I need that money."

And as if he was trying to mess with her, Ben Stein toned down his voice so he sounded 3 times as boring as ever. "_However much the world may have improved in many respects in the lapse of upward-"_

And that was it. Just under 2 minute into the seminar, Stacy was done. She slammed her head into the desk, closed her eyes, and started snoring loudly (but not as loudly as Milly, though)

To add insult to injury, Stacy & Milly were the only two there to fall asleep at the seminar. Granted, the other kids were bored out of their minds, but they really wanted to start up their investment & receive their $3,000. After the speech was read, and Ben Stein moved to the "Investment" portion of the seminar, Stacy opened her eyes halfway, and lifted her head up from the puddle of drool she made. "Hey, the speech is over." She said to herself, and then started shaking Milly awake. "Milly, wake up. The speech is over. Maybe we can still get our money."

But Milly didn't even budge. She snorted, and then mumbled something, "Oh, Django. You're such a sweetie. Of course I'll go down the tunnel of love with you." Another snort, and then Milly started snoring loudly again. Stacy decided to ignore her and return her attention to the seminar.

"And now, I'd like to show you what you can do with your $3,000 if you invest wisely..." Unfortunately, it got 10 times more boring, and Stacy immediately found herself falling asleep and snoring again. This continued for the entire seminar. The two were bored out of their minds, but nobody else seemed to mind it or notice it. In fact, when the 8 hours were up, and everybody else received their $3,000, Stacy & Milly were the only ones left. Finally, Stacy managed to open her eyes. She looked around slowly, then quickly darted her eyes back and forth when she realized that the lights were off and she & Milly were the only ones left.

"Oh man! It's over." She said in a defeated tone. She knew that there was no way she'd been getting her $3,000 now. So she wiped her mouth, slowly stood up and went over to wake up Milly; whose face was covered in drool from sleeping in a big puddle of it for so long. "Milly, wake up. It's over. Time to go home."

But once again, Milly was too deep into her sleep to respond properly. She snorted, then mumbled something. "What's that, Django? Oh, you want to take me on a romantic cruise? I'd love to." And then she went back to snoring even louder. Stacy shook her head and left the room, leaving Milly to dream about Django. **A little love tip: If your date ever falls asleep on you, leave her there. It especially works when you're at a restaurant, 'cause then she'll have to pay for it.**

**

* * *

**

**The next day, our little raccoon friend found himself fighting for not only his life, but his dignity too.**

The next day, Perry the Platypus reported to the destination that was inscribed on his invite: The Tri-State Area Super Bowl Arena. He found his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, already at his starting position. There were dozens of starting positions, one for each pair of nemeses, and after that, there was a race track.

"Yoo-hoo! Perry the Platypus! OVer here." Doofenshmirtz called optimistically to his nemesis. "I see you got your invite. Welcome to L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N's first annual "Villain/Nemesis Collaboration Olympic Games"! We came up with the idea a few days ago. Come on, the games are about to start."

Meanwhile, up on the stage, Rodney, AKA the guy with the really long name, stepped up. "Hello, animal agents and evil scientist, it is I, Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein." **I once tried to make my name longer. Only problem was, it wouldn't fit on my Burger King name tag. **"And welcome to the first annual Villain/Nemesis Collaboration Olympic Games! Now, before we get started, allow me to announce some last-minute rules. Rule #1, members of each team must put up their most valuable weapon of combat, a weapon that you used against your nemesis in a previous battle."

"Say what!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "This was never mentioned in the contract."

"Hence the term "Last-minute"."

"Oh this is unfair!"

"Too bad, Heinz. The panel took a vote to approve of these rules."

"Wait, I never voted!"

"That's the idea, moron." **Oh that's just cruel.** "Now, rule #2, weapons that are forfeited up by the players may be used in the games to benefit their success."

"Well at least it isn't totally stacked against me."

"Our first event will be the "100-meter 3-legged race". Teams, decide amongst yourselves right now what weapons you will be using for the race. You have 5 minutes."

So the pairs of scientists and secret agents huddled in their own groups to discuss their game strategies. Of them all, Doofenshmirtz was most determined to win since he felt that he was ripped off. "Alright, Perry the Platypus. It's obvious that Rodney did that rule change thing on purpose just to mess with me. So, you and I are going to mess with _him_ now? And do you know how we're gonna do that?" **We're going to tipi his house? **"We're going to combine our great inventions together to take him down."

Perry reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small cannon that show out banana peels. "Ah, a banana peel shooter. That could come in handy." Doofenshmirtz pulled out a small ray gun that shot out fireballs. "I'm going to use this. I call it the "Fire Ball-inator". You know, 'cause it shoots out fireballs. Yeah, I'll shoot it at the other players' feet and make them jump off the ground and lose their balance. We're going to win the first event for sure." **Oh, we'll see about that.**

After 5 minutes of deliberation, the contestants all lined up at the starting line and tied their legs together with their respective nemeses. Rodney was the only one not competing because his nemesis (whoever it is) chose not to show up. "Contestants, take your starting positions." He announced through a bullhorn he brought with him. On your marks..." All of the scientists prepared their weapons, as did their animal nemesis. "...get set..." **Get ready to see some boring garbage, folk. **"GO!" He shouted and waved his flag.

But before anyone else could make a move, Dr. Wexler shot from his ray gun, and it instantly created a 10 foot deep crater beneath the other players, causing them to fall. That left Dr. Wexler, and his nemesis, Agent H (Herman the Hedgehog) to take the victory without effort. **I stand corrected. That wasn't boring at all. It was tormenting.**

"Dr. Wexler & Herman the Hedgehog are our winners!" Rodney shouted, waving his flag. They, however, received no cheers from the others stuck in the crater.

"Boo! Boo I say!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. **Hey, it's not his fault you're a terrible sport.** Doofenshmirtz turned to Perry. "Don't worry, Perry the Platypus. We'll do better in the next round. And then, Rodney will have no choice but to bow down to me, the superior scientist, as he weeps the night away like the little girl his mother raised him to be!" He began laughing like a total maniac, and it was even scaring Perry a bit, as well as the other scientists.

"Um, we're all right here." Dr. Bloodpudding said. **So why didn't you stop him?**

"You too! You'll all bow down to me!" **We'll see after commercial.**

**

* * *

While the crazy man in the lab coat's determination was rising, Stacy's morale was at an all-time low.** Meanwhile, Stacy, feeling depressed that she hadn't earn a single dollar to pay back her father, was sitting on the front porch of her house. Jeremy and Jenny came up to see if everything was OK. "Hey Stacy." Jenny took the direct approach, not holding back. "How's it going?"

"Horribly."

"The money hunt not going well?" Jeremy asked. But all he got was a bitter face and a sulk from Stacy. "I'll take that as a no. Where were you yesterday? I tried calling your cell, but..."

"I attended this seminar that talks about how to invest your money wisely?"

"Oh. OK, and did that help?"

"Nope. It put me to sleep. Besides, I was only there because they said that anybody who succeeded in staying awake for the whole 8 hours gets $3,000 cash."

"8 hours? Oh no, not _that_ seminar?"

"What? What's the problem?" Jenny asked.

"She went to one of those boring, useless 8-hour seminars that promises free cash if you can stay awake for 8 hours. Most people don't succeed."

"Actually, when I went, everyone stayed awake except for me and that Fireside Girl, Milly."

"Milly? Yikes."

"What?" Jenny inquired.

"The only thing worse than listening to Ben Stein for 8 hours is sitting next to Milly when she's sleeping."** Her troop name finally makes sense, 'cause she just got burned!**

"No doubt." Stacy agreed. "But seriously, what I am gonna do?"

"Have you tried getting a job?" Jenny asked nonchalantly. Stacy looked up at her best friend and gave her a neutral glare with a hint of anger.

"Yes. Yes I did. In fact, just today I had 3 jobs. First, I applied for a job at the library."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Stacy on a big ladder with a pile of books in her hands. She had applied for the job of Assistant Librarian, and her first task was to put returned books back to their proper shelf. Unfortunately, she was having a difficult time with it since she rarely visits a library._

_"Ms. Bitters!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, disturbing nearby readers. "Where do I put this "The Grapes of Wrath" book!" The other readers were getting annoyed, as was the librarian as she approached Stacy._

_"Yes, Stacy?" She questioned with a rather bored sigh. "What is it?"_

_"I can't find where to put this book."_

_"The slot's right in front of you."_

_Stacy looked behind her and saw the empty slot. "Oh." She said putting the book away. "Thanks."_

_"You're welcome." She sighed and went away. The other readers also returned to their books, but were rudely interrupted not even ten seconds later. _

_"MS. BITTERS!" She screamed again. "WHERE DOES THIS BOOK GO!"_

_"Hey, hey!" One guy finally said, hoping to get some peace and quiet. "I'm trying to re-"_

_"SHHH!" But he was rudely interrupted by Stacy, who was trying to shush the man, not even realizing that she had been loudly talking for quite some time now. "There's no talking in the library, sir. Thank you." _**She was fired 30 minutes later, but it wasn't for talking. It was for accidentally breaking the librarian's computer.**

_(End Cutaway)_

"After that, I tried earning money by mowing people's lawns."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Stacy knocking on the front door of the Rai family. Mrs. Rai opens the door. "Oh, hello, Stacy. What can I do for you?"_

_"Hi, Mrs. Rai. I noticed your front lawn needs some mowing. Think I could do it for you?" She asked politely, even showing her the lawnmower she brought from home. "I'll only charge $10 an hour."_

_"Oh, that's very nice of you to offer, dear. But that's usually my husband's job. Of course, he hurt his back at work, so..."_

_"I'll also clean your gutters for an extra 10."_

_"Do my backyard too and I'll make it an even 50."_

_"Deal."_

_So Stacy got to work. She headed over to her lawnmower, and pulled the cord to start it up. But it wouldn't start the first time, so she pulled it again. After it didn't start a second time, she pulled it with all of her strength, and by doing so, gave it unprecedented power, and caused it to go so fast she not only missed the lawn, but she just kept going and going. Only when she went several blocks up the street and crashed into Cleveland Brown's car did it stop._

_"My car!" He shouted in horror._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Yeesh. Sorry things aren't going so well for you." Jenny sent her her condolence. "I'd loan you the money if you need it."

"How much do you need, anyway? You know, to pay back your dad."

"$1,392."

Both of Jenny's eyes went big and Jeremy almost passed out. "Wow. You blew off _that_ much?" Jenny asked. "I'm not so sure I have that kind of money."

"It's not _totally_ bad. I was able to sell the lawnmower for $150 to Mr. Brown." **That's funny, because I bought a lawnmower that looks exactly like the one she sold him from another guy for triple that price, and it crashed on me after day 2. Man, I got ripped off. **She took out the $150 cash she received. "That leaves just $1,242. And he said that until I pay him back, he won't let me see a Betty's concert. And their next concert here is in 2 days."

"How are you gonna earn $1250 in two days?" Jeremy inquired. But before any of them could go any further, Cleveland showed up, looking for some money.

"Hey Stacy, can I borrow $149 to pay off damages to my car?"

"Uh-"

"Thanks." He snatched the money out of her hands and walked off, leaving Stacy, Jeremy, & Jenny confused, and Stacy with only $1 in her hand.

"And now I'm back down to $1." **That's the polite way to mug somebody.**

"Great. Now how are you gonna earn $1,391 in two days?"

And just as luck would, Phineas, Ferb, & their friends showed up, with Buford carrying an incredibly large barrel, a barrel that had a volume of about 250 cubic feet. "Hey guys." Phineas said in his usual happy tone. "What'cha doin'?"

"Sulking." Stacy said in a depressed tone.

"What's wrong, Stacy?"

"My dad's cracking down on me for always spending so much money. He's making me pay back $1,392."

"Huh? But that's ridiculous."

"Yeah, and there's this Betty's concert in 2 days here in Danville. But my dad won't let me go to that concert or any more Betty's concert until I pay him back all the money."

"Have you tried finding a job?" Isabella asked.

"I tried 3 jobs, I went to a seminar that pays easy cash, I did almost everything there is to do to earn money, and they've all failed. I don't know what else to do."

"Well, how much money do you have now?" Baljeet asked her.

"Well, I had $150 until Mr. Brown mugged me...at least I think he mugged me." **At least he did it politely. **"Which leaves me only $1. And that combined with the $79 I have in my savings adds up to $80."

"But that still leaves approximately $1,312 left for you to earn." Ferb did the calculations in his head. "And you have just over 48 hours to do so."

"That seems almost impossible." Buford commented.

"That's what you said about our trip 'round the world, but we proved you wrong then, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but Phineas, if I can't keep a job long enough to earn a single paycheck, how am I supposed to earn the money?"

"I don't know, Stacy. But maybe we can cheer you up." Phineas popped open the top of the barrel that Buford settled onto the ground, took out some gram crackers, and handed one to everybody. Here. Dip your cracker into the barrel."

"Phineas, what _is_ that?" Jeremy asked, not wanting to sound rude.

"This, my good friend, is s50 cubic feet of the richest, purest chocolate in the entire world. We traveled all the way to the edge of Antarctica just to dig this out."

"Whoa, are you serious?" Jenny asked.

"Try it if you don't believe me." Phineas encouraged them. He dipped his own cracker into the chocolate, and at the same time, they all took a big bite out of it. After only one bite, everybody was intrigued and delighted by the taste of the chocolate. It really was the purest and tastiest chocolate ever. "Oh my gosh!" Phineas's eyes lit up.

"By George, this is the most awesome chocolate I've ever had in my entire life." Jeremy said as he took another bite of the cracker.

"I second that opinion." Isabella stated. "And it's only the second most amazing thing I've ever seen or touched in my life." She said, swooning as she slowly edged towards Phineas and swallowed her piece of cracker. "I think you know what's #1, don't you?." She whispered softly as she lightly tapped his butt, which he chuckled at. **I still don't understand how he can be OK with that. I mean, how old are they anyway? **"I'm talking about that big butt of yours." She whispered again, as she proceeded to squeeze his already tight butt cheek.

"Man, I wish I had chocolate like this. Suzy wants to make some delicious brownies for her friend, Ariel's birthday. But we don't want to use any of that processed chocolate."

"Well, Ferb and I could make the brownies for you and then give them to you."

"Here's a better idea. How about I pay you $75 for the whole barrel."

"Uh, OK." Phineas scratched his head, confused that Jeremy would just pay them for it. But he gave him the money as he took the barrel. Stacy crossed her arms and glared angrily. Phineas walked up to her and handed her the money. "Here, Stacy. You can have the money. We're not interested in making a profit."

"Really? Thanks, Phineas. But I'm still short 1,300 bucks. And it's not like you have more of that stuff back at home..." Phineas began nodding his head slowly, and Stacy quickly got the message. "Oh, you do. Wait, how much?"

"We have about another 200 barrels of this stuff in our backyard."

"Hey, are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Jenny asked, as she, and the others all began contemplating an idea. Of course, Phineas's idea was much different from what Jenny had in mind.

"Yeah. We could freeze this chocolate in our freezer and then carve little statues of us and sell them to the neighborhood kids!" Phineas exclaimed happily, as he jumped up in the air in excitement. But when he looked around, he didn't get the same reaction. "What?" **I haven't heard an idea that bad since my father suggested we each save a cup of pee by our beds to drink at night to save money on water.**

"Actually, I meant that we make Jeremy's brownies and then sell _those_ to the neighborhood kids."

"Oh." Phineas's face fell, but then lit back up slightly. "That works too."

* * *

**While the kids were about to dunk themselves into chocolate to help Stacy get out of her debt, the crazy science guy was digging himself into a hole he couldn't get out of.**

Meanwhile, back at the stadium, it was time for the final event of the Villains/Nemeses Olympic Games. It was an obstacle course, and the Agents & Villains would be working together to complete it.

"After 4 events, we have a tie between the team of Dr. Wexler & Herman the Hedgehog, and the team of Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus." Rodney announced through his megaphone.

"Yes! Thank goodness we were able to win that swimming event. Herman's such a coward." Doofenshmirtz said softly to his partner.

"And now, for the final event: An obstacle course inspired by the hit TV show, "Wipeout"!" **I like that show. It's fun to watch people fall down a lot, cause you know they're not seriously hurt. If they were, it'd be a different story.** "Our final two teams will each go individually on this obstacle course, where they will fight their way through a very sticky mud puddle that measures 50 feet long, cross over a bridge of giant bouncing balls, a fight a platoon of "secret agents" who work for the O.W.C.A., and finally, it's a short dash to the finish line, and the only thing you'll have to worry about will be...surprises that might be hidden in the ground."

"What are these "surprises" that Rodney speaks of?" **Land mines, moron.**

"Both members of their team will have their individual times combined, and the team with the fastest time wins. And the same rules from before apply, so any weapons are usable. First up, Dr. Lloyd Wexler." Dr. Wexler stepped up to the starting line, and once the whistle was blown, he was off...slowly. He dived into the sticky mud puddle, and trudged his way slowly through it. His excessive weight and the sticky mud made it almost impossible for him to walk at all. In fact, nearly 5 full minutes passed before he was able to get out. It took him nearly that long to get his arms out of the mud so he could shoot his Anti-Gravitational ray towards the ground to lift himself up to the next obstacle: the Bridge of Balls. He jumped and bounced on the first one, then went sideways into the water, and was forced to swim to the next obstacle.

Doofenshmirtz was laughing. "This is so hilarious! He's too fat to move like a regular person." **Don't be a hater. Can't we all just get along?** "We're a shoo-in to win."

But just as he was so sure he was safe, Dr. Wexler was able to get passed the "secret agents", who were all really just robots, by smashing them with his ray gun. Then, he used it to lift his way to the finish line, and got a decent time. "And Dr. Lloyd Wexler crosses the finish line with a respectable time of 11 minutes and 33 seconds. Let's see how Herman the Hedgehog does."

On the sound of the whistle, Herman dived into the pool of mud. But since he was somehow a great swimmer, he didn't let its stickiness affect his time. In fact, he was out of the pond in less than a minute. Only now was Doofenshmirtz becoming concerned, especially after Herman managed to make it over the Bridge of Balls without even falling into the water. After that, it took him no time at all to get past the secret agents and dash towards the finish line. His time of 3 minutes and 21 seconds surprised everybody, even Rodney. "And Herman the Hedgehog scores a fantastic time of 3 minutes and 21 seconds. That gives the team of Wexler and Herman a total time of...14 minutes and 54 seconds. A decent effort, but will it hold up against Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz & his nemesis, Perry the Platypus?" **You might as well just give the Hedgehog the trophy now.**

Perry stepped up to the starting line, and took out a bionic glove to put on his right hand. What nobody knew was that this was a bionic glove he received from the agency for his birthday, and it could morph into any weapon he needed. **I thought technology like that was 30 years away.** "Go!" Rodney shouted as Perry took off. Since he was a semi-aquatic mammal, he was easily able to manuver through the mud puddle. "And Perry the Platypus is off to a great start. But will he fair better on the Bridge of Balls?"

Perry arrived at the beach, and his bionic glove shot out a zip line to the metal stuff that was holding the balls up, and swung down and around the balls onto the next platform. "Ooh, he went around the balls. Very clever."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Wexler protested. "He used a glove _and_ a zip line. That's two weapons."

"Actually, he's using one of those high-tech Bionic Gloves, a glove that could morph into any weapon that the holder chooses. Even though it is unfair, I must allow it." Rodney explained as Perry continued onto the "secret agent" portion. About 20 robots that looked like fellow agents popped up in front of him. So without wasting any time, Perry turned his Bionic Glove into battering ram, and charged through the robots like they were a bunch of closed doors. There was only one robot left, and Perry took car of it with one big punch. Then, he dashed towards the finish line. "And Perry's going for the finish." **Not even my friend, Greg, can run that fast. **"And he crosses the finish line with an outstanding time of 2 minutes and 46 seconds. Outstanding!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was cheering, along with the other agents, while the other scientists boo'ed him til they couldn't boo no more. "Bravo! Bravo, Perry the Platypus!"

"Now all Heinz Doofenshmirtz needs is a time of 12 minutes and 07 seconds to beat Dr. Wexler & Herman, & he & Perry will claim victory!" Doofenshmirtz took his spot at the starting line, with his handy Invis-inator in his pocket. "On your mark...get set..." **Paramedics on standby... **"GO!" Rodney shouted as he blew his whistle. Doofenshmirtz dived into the mud puddle, but stopped. He forgot one very important thing: he can't swim.

"AHHH!" He screamed, splashing his arms and legs all over the place. "Help me! Help me! I'm drowning." Even in shallow, 12 inch water, he couldn't get over his fear of swimming. All of the scientists started laughing and pointing at him, as Doofenshmirtz continued to splash, wasting each second away. His incredible 12-minute edge was dwindling away. Perry covered his eyes; he couldn't bear to watch the humiliation. **That's why they invented floaties.**

"And it looks like Doofenshmirtz is down. Oh, hindered by his own inability to swim." Rodney said, with his tone consisting of a little mockery. He was satisfied with seeing the one evil villain he hates most of all struggling. Perry, though, didn't take this lightly. It was one thing when he made him struggle, but when somebody else did it, it was another story. He jumped into action and started beating the trash out of Rodney in an effort to cheer Doofenshmirtz up. He gave Rodney a black eye, nearly fractured his leg, and a bruised ego.

But even that wasn't enough to get him out of his funk, as he was still splashing like an idiot. Fed up and ready to go home, he walked away from the stage, took out the keys to his hover car out of his hat, pressed a button, and waited for it to arrive before driving off. As soon as Dr. Doofenshmirtz felt a lack of presence from his nemesis, he stopped splashing around and sat up, looking for Perry. "Perry the Platypus? Where are you?"

"He left." Dr. Diminutive said coldly. "And he gave Rodney a whooping."

"I told you to call me by my full name!" Rodney shouted, before losing consciousness. **If we could pronounce it, we would.**

* * *

Back in Danville, the selling of brownies made with the richest & purest chocolate ever discovered was well under way, and sales were beyond Phineas & Ferb's imagination.

"Get your brownies here! Freshly made brownies here! Made with only the finest chocolate ever discovered from Antarctica!" Phineas yelled into his bullhorn. "1-Day only! Get it while it's hot. Well, not literally hot. I mean, popular. Get it while it's popular."

There was a long line that stretched from the front yard of the Flynn-Fletcher home down to Baljeet's house. "Wow, the line is so long!" Jeremy noted. "It looks like anybody who's anybody is on this line." **I guess that counts out Nicholas Cage and Mr. T.**

"And we're making a killing!" Stacy shouted, counting up the many dollar bills she had in her hands. "We've already exceeded the amount of money I needed to pay back my dad and then-some."

"Really?" Came a stern voice from the line. Stacy turned to see that her dad was standing there with her mother, Dr. Hirano. "I find it hard to believe that you made $1,392 in less than 2 days."

"Well, if you don't believe me..." She was intimidated, but she stood her ground. "Count it for yourself." She handed him the money and he started counting quickly. When he was finished counting, his eyes opened widely.

"Wow."

"What is it, honey?" Dr. Hirano asked her husband.

"$3,917." He said, holding the money tightly. Dr. Hirano gasped and turned to her daughter, as she, along with Phineas, Ferb & their friends smiles victoriously. **You can get that much by selling chocolate? No wonder Mr. Wonka's a millionaire. **

"Really? That much?" She gasped sarcastically. "Wait a minute. You said I only needed to pay you back $1,392. I'm way over what you asked for."

"Don't get sarcastic with me, young lady." Mr. Hirano was getting upset, and for no apparent reason.

"Christopher, calm down." Dr. Hirano said to her husband. **His name is Chris? Oh, that explains why I wanna sucker-punch him so badly.**

"Yeah, Dad. What's the problem? I have the money to pay you back, and more."

"That's the problem. You _have_ the money."

"I-I don't understand."

"I work 12-hour/day shifts to help this family make ends meet. You sell some chocolate for a few hours and make over triple my monthly salary." **Either he's a terrible accountant, or times are worse than I thought. **

"Whoa, there sir. I'll have you know that this here chocolate is the finest, richest, purest chocolate ever discovered by man." Phineas intervened, trying to calm the man's cocky attitude.

"Dad, are you...are you jealous of me?"

"Well, a little. I'm sorry. I guess it makes me feel a bit inferior since I'm trying hard to be the provider of this family."

"That's stupid, Dad. You shouldn't be ashamed of me just because I made this kind of money faster than you. I thought you'd be proud of me. I _did_ learn from the best, after all." This little remark made her dad smile a bit. **She may seem like a dummy to some, but the truth is, she's a lot smarter than she's given credit for. Especially when it comes to numbers.**

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Stacy inside her home, watching the rain fall. "Wow, that's 851,234 raindrops falling out of the sky." She said to herself, as she got away from the window and walked over to a table where there was a stack of Fiber One bars. "Wow, that's 14,297 grams of fiber stacked here." Then she moved on into the kitchen, where her mom was eating a chocolate cupcake. "Wow, that's one cupcake." **(A/N: And yes, I did take that line and parody it from an Everybody Hates Chris episode entitled "Everybody Hates the English Teacher".)**_

_(End Cutaway)_

"You know, I don't say this enough...but I'm proud of you, Stacy." Her dad said to her sincerely, which made her and everyone else smile sincerely. "Enjoy your concert." As he turned around to leave, he put the money in his pocket...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you think_ you're_ going!" And set Stacy off. "With my money!" She glared angrily at him. **That look means "I've been mugged once before. Don't think I'll open a can of whoop-*** on you."**

"No, this is my money." **Wrong answer, buddy.**

"No, only $1,392 belongs to you." She trudged up to him, took the money out of his pocket, counted it, and handed the correct amount to him. "The other $2,525 belongs to me. Were you trying to steal from me?"

"What?"

"Do you know that we used approximately 3,740 1/4 gallons of this rich chocolate just to make this kind of money? That's a lot of chocolate!"

"And that's only 2 barrels." Phineas said. "There's still about 98 barrels in our backyard."

"Don't think you can just walk away with my hard earned money." Stacy turned back to her dad.

"I wasn't trying to steal your money." He tried to fight back.

"That's not what it looked like to me." Dr. Hirano retorted, putting her hands firmly on her hips. (Remember, Dr. Hirano is Stacy's mother, _Mr. _Hirano is Stacy's father) Mr. Hirano turned and angrily glared at his wife, almost looking like he was ready to snap. She opened her eyes and saw the glare. **That look means "I don't care if you are a woman. I'm not afraid to whoop your behind."**

Mr. Hirano leaned in closely. "I don't care if you _are_ a woman. I'm not afraid to whoop your behind." Her mouth dropped open, as did her arms. **He actually means it. **"You wanted a daughter..._you_ deal with her." He said as he pushed her slightly out of the way and started making his way back home. But before he got too far, he tripped over himself, fell in the street, and twisted his ankle. "AHHH! My ankle!" He shouted loudly, holding his right angle in pain. Everybody, except for Stacy & her mother, rushed up to him to aid him.

"Mr. Hirano!" Phineas shouted. "Are you OK?"

"N-No. I busted my ankle! I can't walk." He groaned as he clutched his ankle harder.

"Don't worry. We'll help you." He and the other kids lifted him up over their shoulders and helped him back into the front yard. "Stacy, call for help." He told her, but she didn't move a muscle, except for counting her money. Her mom grew impatient.

"Stacy, aren't you going to call 911?"

"What? Are you kidding?" She scoffed. "And give the phone company another reason to charge me more money than they need to? Fat chance!" She scoffed towards her mother. "Did you know that even though phone companies say that if you use up your minutes, it's free, they're actually charging 3/4 of 1/2 of 1 cent per minute and tacking it onto other payments? If you have a 1,000 minute plan, that's almost $100 of extra fees they're screwing you out of. You want to waste that kind of money, _you_ make the call." She said coldly to her mom.

"Stacy, I gave you an order. Now call 911 so we can get your father help."

"Mom, please. Can you stop talking? Your voice is droning on and on. It's so annoying. You're almost like Ben Stein, except he's a much better dresser." Dr. Hirano's mouth dropped open. **Is this the same girl that thought the Pyramids were in Belgium?**

"Stacy, that is your own mother you are talking to." Baljeet pointed out.

"Hey, kid, when it comes to this kind of stuff, there are no such things as parents. If there's one thing I learned during the 5-minutes I stayed awake of that seminar, is that there are two things that get in the way of earning a decent wage: parents who try to interfere with your business, and Health Inspectors." **Don't forget the FCC. **"Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to put my profits away before they get lost." And with that, she prepared to head home. "Get better, Dad. Love you." She turned around and blew her dad a kiss before running off. **Well, at least we know she hasn't completely gone to the dark side yet.**

"Man, the Hirano family is a strange family." Phineas said.

"They might even be stranger than your family, Dilweed." Buford cut in.

"Perhaps that's why her parents rarely get any face-time." Ferb said. **True dat.**

"Uh, hello!" Mr. Hirano called, still on the ground. "Working man with a broken ankle on the ground in need of some help here." The kids all gasped and ran back to Mr. Hirano to help him up as Phineas dialed for an ambulance. **Mr. Hirano was able to make it to the hospital successfully, and is now in a cast, having to wait 8 weeks for her injured ankle to hear. But after that day, Mr. and Mrs. Hirano had some things they needed to think about. Mr. Hirano deeply regretted ever giving his daughter that fateful ultimatum, and Mrs. Hirano regretted fighting so hard to have her daughter. Often, she wonders what it would be like if they had a son. Well, here's what would happen.**

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to an alternate universe, a universe where the Hirano family has a son, not a daughter, and his life is trashed. Carrying a huge boombox, he was strolling home one dark evening. He kicked in the battered front door to find his mother & father eating on the floor, sharing cheeseburgers covered in dirt. They were not happy with him. Their house was in shambles, and they were a few paychecks away from losing the house._

_"Where have you been, mister?" Mr. Hirano asked angrily._

_"Ma, chill. I was just chillin' with my holmes." He said in a chilled-out tone, setting down his boombox and walked up to his parents. "What's so wrong about that?"_

_"You were supposed to be home 3 hours ago for dinner!" Mrs. Hirano yelled angrily. "We've been worried sick about you. We thought you'd learn your lesson the last time you broke curfew." She crossed her arms._

_"Ma, whazzup with you? Why you being so uptight all of a sudden?" _**Why does it seem like more woman are called that than men?**

_"What did you call me?"_

_"You need to loosen up a bit. Hows 'bout some music." He went back to his boombox and turned it on, and a funky tune started playing. (AKA the "Original Beat" music from the "Everybody Hates Chris" soundtrack) _**Oh, I love this song! **_He started dancing like a hip hop dancer to it, while Mr. & Mrs. Hirano were not please. Mrs. Hirano turned to her husband._

_"You just had to name him after you, didn't you, Chris?" She said angrily to her husband. The two, with no way to get through to their despondent son, had no choice but to listen to the song they came to hate the most. _**Bye, y'all!**

_(End Cutaway)_

**_Everybody Hates Chris!_**

**End of Episode 27!**

**I gotta say, I'm not that happy with how this episode turned out. But if you guys like it, who am I to argue?**

**Next Time: Inspired by her sister's actions, Phineas revs up the old classic game "Capture the Flag". But a disagreement with Isabella could result in losing his best friend.**

**Expected Update: Maybe in a few days. No guarantees, though. **


	36. 28: Trial By Warfare Part 1

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 28: Trial By Warfare Part I**

**Episode Summary: Part 1 of a new 4 part special event. Inspired by his sister's brave intentions, Phineas decides to take on the war world by revving up the classic game "Capture The Flag". But, Isabella wants no part of it, as she doesn't condone violence, and her refusal to play sparks a big fight between her and the boy she loves. Meanwhile, Candace's military training intensifies, and an old face from the Flynn-Fletcher family rears its ugly head around again, and not in a good way. Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz leads Perry on a goose chase to keep him distracted so he can complete his greatest plan ever.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_It was another glorious, sun-fulled day in Danville, and everybody was enjoying their morning. The Flynn-Fletcher family were spending their morning at the Danville Museum, an idea conjured up my Lawrence Fletcher. Phineas & Ferb, well, Phineas mostly, were intrigued by the newly installed "Military War" section of the museum, a section in which the family had spent most of their time.

"And down this hall..." Their tour guide said as he led them down a hallway that consisted of several pictures with war veterans holding various weapons, and scenes of explosions and such. "We have only the finest selection of military weapons ever assembled." They were slowly edging up on the end of the hall. While Phineas was getting a kick out of the exhibit because it reminded him of Candace, the others weren't exactly thrilled with the idea.

"Honey, how much longer do we have to put up with this?" Lawrence whispered to his wife.

"Now, Lawrence, be patient. You know all this stuff reminds Phineas of Candace." She whispered back. "I'm sure we won't be too much longer. But let him have this. He misses her."

"Oh I know that. It's just that all this military stuff gives me the creeps."

The tour guide led them all to the end of the hall, where there was a giant glass case stocked with dozens and dozens of military weapons stored in there. "Here we are: the greatest collection of novelty military weapons ever assembled."

"Wow..." Phineas took a good look at the stock of weapons, as well as the many pictures that went with them. "Look at all this. This is an awesome collection. I don't even know what any of them are, and yet I feel so drawn to them."

"Well, son. This, here, is the FGM-148 Javelin. It's a United States-made man-portable third generation anti-tank guided missile. Now, a Javelin is a fire-and-forget missile that locks on to a target before it fires and it has an automatic self-guidance system that leads it to target. It's especially good with top-notch vehicles that would normally be unaffected by other kinds of bullets."

"Cool..." Phineas gazed deeply into the weapon.

"And this, my friend," The man led Phineas to another weapon. "is a standard M16A4 Assault Rifle. It acts like a regular gun, with the ability to shoot out bullets and penetrate another person's body. But Rifles are much stronger than handguns, as they fire more quickly and fire more bullets at once."

"Awesome..." Phineas couldn't stop staring at the vast majority of weapons. He believed that his inventions with Ferb were amazing. But somehow, all of the military weapons he looked at seemed to be a notch out of his league. "I thought Ferb and I made some awesome stuff during the summer. But all of this stuff...it just seems...so high-tech. This stuff is way too advanced for me to comprehend."

"I agree, son. Heck, the only way you'd probably be able to understand any of these weapons is if you were a war veteran. But you're not." He chuckled a little bit before he looked back down at the boy. "You're _not_, right?"

"No..." And unfortunately, by doing this, he gave Phineas something to work with. Phineas started pondering about what he and Ferb should do that day. "But, that does give me an idea. I know exactly what Ferb and I are gonna do as soon as we get home! Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry was already in his lair, about to receive his mission from his boss. "Good morning, Agent P." Major Monogram said on the screen. "There's something very wrong with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's been very quiet lately. We're concerned that this means he's planning something BIG. Or, there is the off-chance he's doing nothing today. Regardless, I want you to go check-up on him, and stop him if he's up to anything dastardly. Good luck, Agent P." Perry saluted Monogram, then ran off.

* * *

Somewhere in the outskirts of Iraq, intense training was taking place in a big, secluded building. Commandant Spangler's students were being put through extremely intense training - even more intense than when they were in Danville. For some reason, Spangler just decided one day to turn up the heat on his many cadets.

They were beginning to feel the effects of this particular training session, and it wasn't even half over yet. Two, especially, were Candace, and her new friend, Tara. The current portion of the session had them all doing vigorous circuits consisting of push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups, shuttle runs, weight lifting, kick-boxing, among others. Candace and Tara were currently on their push-up circuit, and had to complete 100 push-ups each. Luckily, they were both more than 3/4 of the way done, and it was their final circuit of the drill.

"Ow, this is torture." Candace said, feeling the pain of the circuit all around in her body, mostly in her arms, though, due to the push-ups. "I don't remember training bring this intense before. What's gotten into Spangler?"

"I don't know. But I have a feeling there's something else to this." Tara replied. "The other cadets told me that Spangler never goes this hard on students this quickly unless he feels that there's something big on the way."

"Big like...another war?"

"I don't know. But let's just pace ourselves and get through this circuit." Tara assured as the two finished up their 100 push-ups, and stood up. They were both physically in pain, their muscles sore from the rough circuit they had just completed, which only took about 45 minutes. Even though they looked like they were in pain, they also looked physically stronger; their muscles had gotten bigger and were more toned than they were the day before they first arrived in Iraq, and Candace looked so much stronger since she first entered the school at the beginning of the summer. The training was surely paying off.

"Cadets, assemble!" Spangler yelled sharply as all the cadets (which also included boys. Yes, Spangler runs a boys-only school as well) ran over to him, despite the aches they felt. "I can't tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you for coming as far as you have. You all look so strong, so determined...I would be proud to have each and every one of you in my army. But...your training's only just begun. Yes, you've rebuilt your bodies and your minds. But now it's time to rebuild your skills? So, get yourselves iced up, rest, and meet me back here at high noon. Dismissed."

The cadets all scurried out of the room and headed back to their rooms to ice their legs and rest before their next training session. "So, what do you think is in store for us later today?"

"I don't know. But how in the world he expects us to be ready for another training session is beyond me." Tara said, rubbing her sore biceps.

"Oh come on. Stop with that "Can't do" attitude. That's exactly why you can't handle this type of training. You don't see me complaining, do you?"

"No. No I do. And I gotta say that I'm pretty impressed with you. You haven't thought about your brothers since we got here."

"Of course I've thought about my brothers! I just haven't thought about busting them, is all. That's totally different. I miss the little guys, and Dad, and...Stacy, Jeremy, & Jenny."

"You forgot your mom."

"Who?"

"Never mind." Tara blinked as they entered their room to ice up their aches & sores.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Perry was busy flying off to his nemesis's lair. With no reported activity from Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Perry was concerned, with no idea what to expect from his nemesis. When he arrived at the building, he was surprised to see the window wide open, and he was surprised to see nobody there. No Dr. Doofenshmirtz, no Norm the Robot Guy, nobody. He swung into the rope in style and took a good look around. He still didn't find anything or anyone.

In fact, all he found was a note on the ground. _"Dear Perry the Platypus, if you're reading this, it means I'm out doing evil today. If you would like to stop me, I will be at these three locations." _Perry read the three locations on the note that Doofenshmirtz said he would be at doing evil. He widened his eyes. Doofenshmirtz said that he would be at the Danville Nursery tormenting babies, at the Tri-State Area Flip-Flop store, and at New York City, defacing the statue of liberty. He didn't want any of it to happen so he rushed off on his jet pack to the first location.

But throughout all of this, Dr. Doofenshmirtz wasn't at the Nursery at all. He was actually at the Tri-State Area's Super Duper Mega Super Store, shopping for supplies to supply his latest evil plan. As for Norm, well...he was actually in plain sight in Doofenshmirtz's bedroom. Perry just didn't bother to look there.

"Let's see..." Doofenshmirtz pushed his cart down the aisle as he read his list. "Computer chips, mechanical arms & legs - yikes. This is going to take me awhile." He said to himself. "Good thing I set up that wild chase for Perry the Platypus. I just hope he goes along with it. Now, where can I find all of this stuff..."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb had just returned home from the museum, and Phineas was excited to unveil his idea for the day's plans to Ferb. "Well, don't keep me in suspense." Ferb urged, as Phineas started writing stuff down on a pad of paper. After he was finished, he handed it to Ferb, who studied it carefully.

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today." Phineas said proudly to his stepbrother. "We are gonna need a lot of stuff. So let's get to work." But just as Phineas & Ferb were going to get started with working on Phineas's latest idea, Lawrence popped his head into the room.

"Hello, boys. Just wanted to let you know that your mother and I are off to see your Aunt Lorraine. Turns out she really does exist. I'll be darned...anyway, apparently, she's injured herself and she refuses treatment unless she and I are there and only us. Can't understand why she wouldn't want you boys there, though. So, be good and we'll bring dinner home later." He explained as he left the room and left the house with Linda.

"Bye Dad." Phineas waved to his dad from the window. As soon as he was sure they were gone, he and Ferb got to work on the plan. "Come on, Ferb. We've got a lot of work to do." They went out to the backyard to begin. The plan was to convert the backyard into a military ground; the plan was to rev up an old military styled game & make it better. Luckily, Phineas knew just what to do. With a lot of running around, a lot of sweat, and a lot of confusion, Phineas & Ferb were able to change the entire backyard, making it look like a real military scene.

There were walls made out of sand bags, craters, dirt all over, rubble everywhere, and two flags placed on opposite sides of the field. "Gee, Ferb. It looks like we've really outdone ourselves this time." Phineas said, shaking his stepbrother's hand. "But we're not done yet. We still need a bunch of military-styled weapons and some army gear."

Ferb immediately took out a cellphone and started dialing a number. "Hello? Danville Emporium? Yeah, I'd like to order...uh, hang on." He put down the phone and turned to Phineas. "Uh, how many people do you suppose are going to play?"

"Let me handle the call." Phineas said, kindly taking the phone out of Ferb's hand. "Danville Emporium? I'd like 18 army suits, 3 cases of your "Complete Set of Military Weaponry", and 2 First-Aid Kits. Rush delivery would be-" As he was finishing his sentence, the truck carrying the supplies backed up into the backyard. "preferable. Wow, that was quick."

The driver came out and opened the trunk. "You Phineas Flynn?" Phineas nodded. "I got a delivery of army suits and cases of military weapons."

"Thanks."

"You know, these things aren't loaded, right? You didn't order the "Complete Set of Weaponry w/ fire power"."

"Yeah, I know. You leave that to us." He said as he signed the clipboard and handed it back to the man.

* * *

Back in Iraq, it was high noon, and it was time for the cadets' next training session. They all gathered back into the auditorium, where they met Commandant Spangler, and a robot with an exoskeleton on it. "Cadets, you've all gone through intense training to tone your bodies. Now, it is time to tone your body _and_ sharpen your mind. Today, we are going to practice combat skills."

"Combat skills?" Candace asked.

"Why yes. This place isn't just a body-building facility. No, when you all leave here, you'll be whipped up, in shape, and ready to take on any challenge, and that includes a battle. So, your skills & instincts must be in tip-top form. That's why today I am going to test your instincts and ability to perform under pressure. Today, I am having each of you, one at a time, battle this life-life manikin."

"Lifelike?" Candace asked mockingly.

"Not as in looks, but as in the way a military war veteran would fight. Right now, we will focus on hand-to-hand combat. Flynn! You're up first." Candace slowly approached him and stepped into the ring where the robot was.

"Uh, sir? When can I start?" She was waiting for some sort of signal to come from Spangler, a common reaction from most teenagers. But, she didn't get her wish, as she almost immediately found herself being tackled by the robot. He landed one good sucker-punch in the fact, and she spun down to the ground. And before he could drag her by her feet, she screamed. "AHH! Uncle! Uncle!" She yelled, and the robot stopped hitting her, dusted itself, and then returned to its starting position. Candace stood up and dusted herself off before turning to the crowd before her. None of them made a sound. "I'm...guessing that wasn't at all what I was supposed to do, huh?"

"Nope." The Commandant shook his head.

"But I told you that I was waiting for you to say go."

"Flynn, do you honestly believe that when you go to yell, they're going to have some sort of referee out there who's going to call a foul or a penalty whenever you get hit below the belt?"

"Uh...I don't believe...more so hope."

"Well, wake up. That's not how the real world works. You can't expect somebody to just tell you when danger's coming. That's what your _instincts_ are for. That's what this lesson will help you with: to enhance your senses and _instincts_. If you can't even handle an enemy without any weapons, just imagine what it'll be like when you actually start using weapons. You must focus yourself, concentrating on nothing but your prime target. Get back it line. You'll try again later. Next!"

Candace, feeling defeated, hung her head and trudged back into the crowd.

* * *

In Danville, the group of friends of Phineas & Ferb were assembled in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, with the exception of Isabella. Everyone was wearing camouflage and holding a firearm, which had been tricked out by the two stepbrothers to shoot out small pellets that cover their targets in ketchup. Just as he was about to explain the rules to them, Isabella came by.

"Hey guys." She said in her usual friendly tone. "What'cha doin'...dressed like that?" She almost laughed at the outfit Phineas was wearing. But it wasn't like a mocking laugh, it was more of a "You-Look-So-Cute-In-That" laugh. "I've been looking for you all day. And I went to our Fireside Girls clubhouse and nobody was there."

"Sorry, Isabella." Adyson explained. "We would've been there. But Phineas said he needed our help here. He said he wants to follow in his sister's footsteps and be an army veteran."

"Oh...OK."

"So, I'm starting small by simply intensifying the already gruesome game of "Capture The Flag". You wanna play?"

"Um, sure." Adyson handed her a camouflage outfit, and helped her put it over her normal clothes quickly. Buford supplied her with a weapon.

"OK, guys. Here's the deal." Phineas began explaining the rules to them. "It's like the classic game of "Capture The Flag". We've placed two huge flags on opposite ends of the backyard. We're gonna divide you up into two teams, and it's your job to deploy your troops out to capture the opposing team's flag."

"So far, this is just like regular Capture The Flag." Baljeet sighted.

"He's not done yet, dude. So be quiet and let the master enlighten us." Irving interrupted.

"Anyway, since there are 16 of us (Phineas & Ferb's circle of friends including Isabella, + the Fireside Girls including the young Melissa, excluding Isabella), we'll be split into 2 teams of 8. They'll be seven troops deployed out to the battlefield to try and capture the opponent's flag. One member of each team, though, will stay behind and act as the team's "nurse". The troops that are on the playing field will have to not only worry about the opposing troops, but also the ground they walk on. See, the ground is tripped with mines that, when stepped on, will cover their victim in ketchup."

"Wait a second. Since you guys planted the mines, won't this give whatever team you're on an unfair advantage?" Django questioned. Phineas suddenly realized this, but luckily, Ferb had thought ahead.

"Not necessarily. While each square inch of the underground has a mine planted, only a select few will be active at once." He held up a small computer with a keypad attached to it. "With the help of this wireless computer I built, random mines will be selected at a time and only the active ones stepped on will explode."

"And as for your weapons, you've all been given a small firearm that is loaded with tiny pellets that, on impact, will exploded and release a small amount of ketchup on its target. But if you choose to stay behind and protect your home base and more important your flag, you also have the option of using water balloons that are filled with ketchup. Anyone who gets hit with four mini pellets or one giant water balloon is out of the game, and they're not allowed to move from the spot they rest in. Fortunately, there's a way back in, and that's where your team's nurse comes in. All the nurses have to do is tag any player that's out...and clean them up of any lingering ketchup, of course."

"Then what are the real First-Aid Kits for?" Baljeet asked.

"Well, you never know. Somehow could get hurt out here. And the nurses are the only ones that can't be targeted with your weapons. First team to capture the opposing flag wins. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Uh, don't you think this is a little bit dangerous? You said it yourself. Someone could get really hurt out here." Isabella said out of concern for her friend's safety."

"Isabella, don't be such a worry-ward. We'll be fine. You are wearing camouflage. Now it's time to split us into teams. Who wants to be captain?"

* * *

Back in Danville, Perry was on his way to the Danville Nursery, the alleged first stop Doofenshmirtz said he would be at. He landed just outside the front door, and peered inside the little window there. He could see the babies playing calmly and quietly with their toys on the rug. The room was dark, however, so Perry couldn't make out any faces. He even got confused when an adult entered the room. The silhouette looked like Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as the man had a very bad slouch, and was wearing a white coat.

This was enough to force Perry to break the window and start beating the man up. Hearing the glass shatter and seeing the man being beat up made all the babies stop what they were doing and start crying loudly. Perry ignored the crying and continued beating him up. A lady soon came into the room and turned the lights on.

"What is going on - OH MY GOODNESS!" The lady screamed, as the man Perry was beating up was revealed to be a very old man who had a bad back, and Perry's pouncing on him simply made it worse. Not to the point where he couldn't walk, but still...The man appeared to be in his 70's. "What are you doing to my grandfather! And why are the babies crying!"

Perry took a good look at the man, and realized that it wasn't his nemesis. The shame quickly got the better of him as he backed away slowly.

"Not so fast, bub!" But the lady was very upset with Perry. "Who's going to pay for the broken windows and for the diapers the babies just wet and for my grandfather's medical bills!"

Perry thought quickly. Well, actually, he didn't think at all. He just handed them the O.W.C.A.'s official agency credit card that each agent is given, to pay for the damages. "Ooh, a credit card. Hang on, I'll run this up." She ran out of the room quickly with it, but returned less than 10 seconds later. "You're good to go." He wiped his brow and then took off out of the broken window. "Have a nice day." She waved happily to the platypus, as if nothing had even happened, completely ignoring her ailing grandfather on the floor.

"Hey! Are you gonna call for an ambulance or not?"

Perry, after his little tussle in the nursery, was confused since his note said that Dr. Doofenshmirtz would be there. But then, he figured he was already at the Tri-State Area Toy Store. He hoped as he was jetting off that this visit would be much better than the visit he just endured. He flew on his jet pack across town to the Tri-State Area Toy Store. He peered into the front window, and he saw two people: One worker at the register, and another in front of it. The guy in front looked, from the backside, like Dr. Doofenshmirtz, since he was wearing a white coat. He slowly lifted his right hand up, holding what appeared to be a knife.

The platypus dove right into the glass window, shattering it, and started attacking the man. In the process, he also destroyed several toy racks, and some of the toys. The customer screamed out for mercy, but Perry didn't let up. A couple of by standing customers started screaming, and some tried to pull the platypus off. "What are you doing!" The clerk shouted. "Are you nuts?" As soon as the victim turned on his back, to show Perry his face, Perry felt shame again. He stopped fighting the grip of the two bystanders who rushed to hold him back.

"Why would you just attack a customer like that? What is wrong with you!" The clerk was really angry now, and Perry didn't try to argue with it. "And how am I supposed to pay for the broken glass and for the plastic knife you broke?" Perry opened his eyes widely and looked down at the knife the customer was holding. It really was a plastic knife.

"My son wants to be a samurai, so I told him I'd get him a plastic swiss army knife!" The customer said, holding his head in agony. Perry cringed, and reluctantly handed the clerk his company's credit card when the pedestrians let him down.

"Thank you. Now get out of my store!" The clerk shouted, pointing to the exit. Perry hung his head and headed for the door.

* * *

Back in Iraq, the intense combat training continued. Everyone in the class was performing very well against the robot Spangler had set up for them. Everyone, of course, except for Candace. Even through her 2nd turn at it, she still struggle, and ultimately, she was beaten to a pummel once again. She wasn't laughed at, but she didn't need mocking laughter to feel ashamed. As she went back into line, Tara was there to comfort her. The line was smaller, as those who completed the exercise once were free to leave and return to their room if they so chose, or they could stick around, and once everybody had passed the exercise, they were free to use the robot as they pleased.

"Better luck next time." She said, patting her shoulder.

"That's twice I've failed this exercise." She said, sighing and hanging her head. "This is getting frustrating. I'm studying the other cadets' techniques, and none of them have worked."

"Candace, this type of training isn't about studying. No amount of studying in the world could prepare you for this. It's all about instincts." Tara explained. "You have to clear your mind; erase any thoughts that distract you and let your mind take care of the rest. Don't think about it at all."

"But...if I don't think about it, how will I know what to do?"

"That's what "instincts" means. You're not supposed to think. Because if you think, then you'll over-think. And if you over-think, you'll get yourself confused and you're going to get beat up."

"Well, let me ask you: how do you get an edge on your enemy?"

"Me? I imagine that the person coming at me is a person that I really can't stand, and then I clear my mind, and...everything else happens from there."

"Hm..." Candace pondered on that thought for a moment. "Someone I really can't stand...that just might work. Now, I just need to figure out who I can't stand the most out of everybody I know. Huh..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in Danville, Phineas & Ferb's game of "Capture The Flag" was about to begin. The teams were decided: Team #1: Phineas, Isabella, Gretchen, Adyson, Irving, Django, Ginger, and Milly, with Gretchen acting as the team "nurse", and Phineas as captain. Team #2: Ferb, Baljeet, Holly, Katie, Melissa (the young Fireside Girl), Buford, and the two unnamed Fireside Girls (appeared in **I Was a Middle-Aged Robot**), with Baljeet acting as the team "nurse", and Ferb as captain. Both teams had retreated to their home bases. Team #1 had a blue flag to guard; Team #2 had a red flag.

"Teams, prepare yourselves!" Phineas shouted through a megaphone. "When that horn sounds, it's game on!"

"Phineas? Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Isabella asked again.

"What are you talking about, Isabella? This is a great idea."

"But somebody could get hurt. And I'm not exactly comfortable with you going out there."

"Why? It's not like we're going to get hurt out here. It's just water balloons and little pellets filled with ketchup. What harm can that do anybody?"

"But what if something goes wrong? What if those mines you and Ferb set up don't work the way you planned, and somebody really injures themselves? What are you going to do then?" The horn blared through everybody's ears, just as Phineas was about to retaliate.

"It's gonna be OK, Isabella. I promise." He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled, which made her laugh. "Now stop being such a wimp and guard this flag. I'm going in."

"OK..." She was still swooning over the way he looked at her when she snapped back to reality. "Wait a minute." She shook her head rapidly, then stood up, and stormed in Phineas's direction to catch up to him.

"Uh oh. Looks like somebody's in trouble." Django whispered to himself. "Boys should never call girls wimps. There are some tough nuggets out there." He was completely unaware of the fact that Milly was right next to him, and staring at his cameo outfit.

"That camouflage looks really cute on you, Django." She said, batting her eye lashes in a girly way. The boy managed to get some sort of clue from this. He was able to figure out that Milly was flirting with him, but he didn't know that she still had a crush on him.

"Um...thank you?" He said politely, but slightly creeped out, before returning his attention to the battlefield. As for Isabella, things were about to really heat up between her and Phineas.

"Hold it, Phineas!" She shouted angrily, stopped him in his tracks. She caught up to him and never took her eyes off of him. Phineas was visibly confused.

"Isabella, you're supposed to be guarding the flag. You can't expect Django and Milly to do it by themselves, do you? You know how Milly's been getting around Django, lately. And Gretchen can't do it because she's the nurse, and she's supposed to attend to wounded soldiers."

"What did you call me back there!" She demanded some answer quickly, and Phineas wasn't sure what she was talking about.

"What did I call you? I-I don't understand the question."

"Phineas, you called me a wimp! You said "Now stop being such a wimp and guard the flag" before you left."

"I did? Huh, I guess I didn't realize it. I was so into this..."

"So what? You think that I can't handle this game just because you and Ferb spiced it up a bit?"

"I'm sure you _can _handle it." He said in a reassuring tone, which made Isabella smile; she thought he was believing in her again. "Now if only you could sound like you can handle it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! What's _that_ supposed to me?"

"Not to be a downer, Isabella, but...you're kinda sounding like a downer." Isabella's mouth dropped as he said this. "I mean, all the complaining, "Phineas, are you sure this is safe? Somebody could get really hurt." it's really hurting my mood right now."

"Me, a downer! I'm a downer because I want to look out for my friends! Phineas, don't you understand the magnitude of what you're doing here!" She was shouting now. She just wanted to make sure that Phineas understood what he was doing and what he was imitating. While they were arguing, Buford took the opportunity to sneak up behind Phineas and shoot him with his pellet-filled firearm. But Isabella sensed him before he even got a chance, and shot at him, just missing Phineas's left shoulder.

"It's just...your constant complaining..."

"I was not complaining! I was simply warning you that this could get dangerous. Do you even understand what you're doing?"

"Uh, actually, I do!" He said angrily, now getting upset himself. "I'm wasting my time arguing with you-" Without even looking, he aimed his firearm at "Unnamed Fireside Girl #1", who tried to sneak up behind him, and pulled the trigger, shooting a pellet at her. "When I could be capturing the other team's flag."

"So now talking to me is a waste of your time?"

"Only when I have something important to do. Now stop being such a complainer and a wuss and let's get that flag!"

"Are you kidding! With that attitude of yours, I'm better off going back to the base. I'll see you when you get your precious flag." Angry that he wasn't understand what she was talking about, and angry that she was insulted, she stormed off back to the base. But after only taking a few steps, there was a big explosion beneath her feet, and she soon found herself being flown several feet back, landing very hard on the ground. Her right leg hit so hard that she actually twisted her ankle. Literally, it twisted back, causing her severe pain. "AH, my ankle!"

She clutched her right ankle in pain. The excruciating pain was quickly traveling through her body. And it was so bad that she almost started crying. "Isabella!" Phineas couldn't believe that his own girlfriend was hurt, and from a project of his. He rushed over to her aid, as did Gretchen & Baljeet. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing, except for Buford, who, for some reason believed that she was faking, shot 4 pellets at her.

"Ha! You're out, loser! I beat you this time! There's no denying it! You're a loser!" He shouted in a triumphant, yet smug attitude. Nobody was impressed with his lack of sympathy. He took a closer look at her and could tell that she was in real pain. "Wait, you look like you're really hurt."

"She _is_ hurt, you moron!" Phineas shouted in rage to Buford. "I can't believe you would be so stupid as to put a game before the well-being of your friends, if Isabella even considers you one!" He turned back to Isabella to tend to her wound. Guilt consumed Buford quickly as he also rushed to her aid. "We gotta get her to a hospital. Oh, I don't have my cell phone. I left it at home. W-We-"

"Phineas, I just twisted my ankle. I'm not gonna die or anything. And besides, Gretchen's an expert at this kind of stuff. She's earned the "Junior-Nurse" patch 4 times already." As Gretchen began icing Isabella's ankle & preparing the bandages, Phineas couldn't help it; he found himself tearing up at the very sight of his best friend injured. It all became too much for him to handle and he eventually found himself running into his house. He dropped his weapon, tore off his camouflage, and ran inside, sobbing hysterically. "Phineas! PHINEAS, COME BACK!" Isabella shouted to get him to return. But he was too upset to talk at the moment. "Oh no..."

"I'll call your mother and let her know what happened." Ferb said, pulling out his cell phone and dialing Vivian Garcia-Shapiro.

* * *

Meanwhile, all the way in NYC, Major Monogram had his hands full with his agency. After Perry traveled all the way to New York City in an effort to find his nemesis, beat up an innocent bystander who once again bared a slight resemblance to him, and caused thousands of dollars in property damages, Monogram was forced to step in and pick up Perry from NYC, and use his own money to pay for it.

"Again, I apologize for my pet platypus's behavior." He explained to Mayor Bloomberg. "He runs away from me all the time, and I can't seem to keep him with me for long periods of time."

"Mmm-hmm..." Bloomberg wasn't in the mood for stories as Monogram handed him the cash. "Just thank your lucky stars you don't live here." And on that note, he left, and the pedestrians who had stopped by to witness the action scattered. Monogram shook his head while Perry hung his.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz sent you on a wild goose chase. Of course, I would've at least thought you would have at least been able to figure that out. I mean, why would he send you to New York anyway? He wants to take over the Tri-State Area. Oh well. Since there hasn't been any real activity reported that was "out of the ordinary", I guess your work is done. Uh, good work...I guess. Whatever, it's not our problem anymore." Monogram led Perry to his hover car, and the two soon found themselves flying back to Danville.

Speaking of Doofenshmirtz, he was quiet for the day, but that didn't mean he wasn't scheming. After a full, exhausting day of shopping, he finally returned home with dozens of bags piled in his lair. "And there. That's the last bag." He trudged over to his sofa and collapsed. "Ahh, my feet hurt. I really need to invent a Foot massage-inator or something." As he was about to settle in, he heard a knock at his door. "Oh for crying out loud." Frustrated, he stood up and walked back to his door. Opening it, he greeted the stern face standing at his door happily. "Can I help you?"

* * *

Candace wasn't getting off so easily either. After failing her combat exercise twice, her composure was decreasing rapidly, especially after seeing everybody else succeed. She was one of only 11 people who haven't yet passed the test. As her 3rd turn slowly approached, she felt rattled, and her body started shaking.

"Oh man, it's almost my turn again." She said to Tara, who stayed behind to support her.

"Just remember what I said: try imagining the robot as somebody you just can't stand." Tara reiterated to her as she massaged her shoulders in an attempt to keep her calm.

"Well, I'll try." She took a deep breath in and stood up as she approached the ring. They both took their fighting stances, and eyed each other. But not even a few seconds into it, and Candace was already considering quitting. "I can't do it!" She shouted and turned back to Tara & Spangler.

"Candace, you have to." Tara told her. "If you're gonna be here in this training facility with us, you're gonna have to learn to fight-"

"No, not that! I mean I can't do what you said. There's nobody out there that I know that I really can't stomach."

"Seriously? What about your Mom?" As soon as Tara said that word, Candace's eyes opened widely. "What about all those times you were right about what your brothers were doing, yet she still mocked you to her friends? What about how she wouldn't treat you with the respect you asked for and always took her time when going to the "scene of the crime", as if she didn't even care enough to try." As Tara went on, Candace's anger started growing. "Or what about, even after it had been proven that you were always right about what they were doing, and they went missing, she still wouldn't give you respect? You know, always interrupting you while you were speaking, criticizing you for doing the same to her even though you knew where your brothers were after they had run away?"

Candace was now practically boiling mad. All those thoughts about her mother were long gone until Tara brought them up again. "Or..." Tara continued. "How about the fact that even after all that, she _still_ wouldn't apologize properly until you threatened to come here to Iraq." That was the last straw for her, and without thinking, she reached behind her, happened to grab the robot that was sneaking up on her. She grabbed it by its right arm, swung him around and threw him into the ground. She panted heavily a few times before realizing what had happened.

"Hey, I did it. I did it!" She shouted triumphantly as she turned back to Tara.

"That was awesome, Candace." She said, congratulating her new friend. "You didn't even look like you were concentrating."

"Well, I was. I was concentrating about all those bad things you brought up about my Mom. But it was like...I felt her sneaking up on me, trying to make me feel miserable again. And then I said "Enough was enough!" and I exploded, and I just...it just happened!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I guess your advice works. I guess all I need to do is picture my enemy as someone I really, really can't stand, and then my mind will do the rest."

"So...you really still can't stomach your mom?"

Candace pondered on this for a moment. "Well, it's not like I _hate_ her, but, I don't exactly _like _her either. I find her...excruciatingly annoying. I mean, have you heard her voice? When she yells, it's like a cat scratching its claws on a chalkboard. And her singing? Ugh! Even my dad sings better, and he only had 1 hit! No wonder she lip syncs. (**Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!**) And you do _not_, I repeat, do _not_ want to be anywhere near her when she's asleep. I mean, she's so bad I can't decide who's worse: her or Phineas. Snoring is one thing, but I can't stand it when people talk on and on in their sleep. And she talks loud! She'd keep me up half the night at times. And she always wondered why I was on edge a lot."

"Hey, are you just about finished?" A waiting cadet shouted, becoming impatient with Candace's rant on how annoying she found her mother to be. "I'd like to get my turn done so I can get some food!"

"Keep your shorts on! I'm having a moment!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas was having his own troubles back in Danville. After Isabella was injured, she was picked up by her mother and taken home, and put into bed right away. All of the other kids decided to go home, seeing that there was no more need for them to be around for the day. Phineas spent the hours after the initial injury sulking in his room. He pinned the blame sourly on himself for Isabella becoming injured in the first place.

So Ferb decided to head up to the room and console the depressed boy. Phineas heard a few knocks at the door. "Come in." He said reluctantly, as Ferb opened the door. "Oh, hey Ferb." He looked up at saw his stepbrother approached him. "I know what you're going to say: It's all my fault because I didn't listen to her. She tried to warn me and I simply brushed her off."

"That's not what I was going to say at all." Ferb replied.

"Well, I'm sure that's what you're thinking. It's what _I'm_ thinking after all." He answered, lowering his head again. "I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see me again."

"Well, if she really loves you, she'll forgive you."

"I hope so. The last thing I would ever want would be to lose one of my friends because of my ignorance. I'm gonna go talk to her." He stood up, brushed himself off, patted his stepbrother's shoulder, opened his window, and jumped out. He desperately hoped that his talk would help calm his nerves. He climbed up Isabella's house all the way to her window, and knocked a few times. Isabella peered from her bed towards the window, and saw her boyfriend there. "Can I come in?" She could hear him ask from the other side.

"Sure." She didn't hesitate to say yes. She slowly managed to stand up, and with her crutches, made her to the window, which she opened, allowing him to climb in. Phineas wasted no time in helping her back to her bed. "Phineas, I'm fine!" But he was becoming over-baring quickly, and she tried to get him to back off while she climbed back into bed and rested her injured foot on a pillow to elevate it.

"How bad is it?" He asked about her injury.

"Well, I really broke my ankle when I fell. My mom called the doctor and he came over to examine my ankle. He said that I can't walk on it for at least 8 weeks unless I want to risk a permanent injury, or an injury on my whole leg."

"Gosh..." Phineas felt a heavy burden on his shoulders immediately; he began rubbing his left arm, coated with guilt.

"But he said that I was lucky, and if I had landed any harder than I had, I wouldn't have had any chance of recovery at all."

"Oh no." Phineas quickly became hysterical. He held his head in pure terror and was tearing up. "What have I done?" He held back a lot of tears.

"Phineas, it's OK." She reached her arms out, realizing that he was blaming himself for the accident, pulled him up onto the bed, and hugged him tightly. "I don't blame you."

"But I blame myself. You were totally right."

"I didn't mean any of that stuff, Phineas. Of course I believed that your plan was going to go off without a hitch. It was probably a 1 in a million chance that I got hurt." She tried to reassure him, to little avail.

"I'm sorry I called you those names, Isabella. And I'm sorry you got hurt. I don't know how I can forgive myself after this. I feel like such a failure!"

"Phineas, don't say that! You're not a failure." She held him tighter as he became more hysterical. She kissed him in an attempt to calm him down. "You just made a mistake, and it's not that big of a deal. Yes, I got hurt. But it wasn't your fault, it wasn't Ferb's fault, it wasn't anybody's fault. You have to calm down, Phineas. You're getting stressed out again. Do I have to _force you_ to calm down?" She said that last sentence in a rather sly tone of voice. Phineas knew exactly what she meant by that (And if you don't, you can read my other fanfiction **The Talk**) but wasn't in the mood for it, so he wiped away his tears quickly and tried to stop crying. She kissed him again and hugged him, which made him smile.

"Isabella, can I ask you something? Why do you hate that game? You know, Capture The Flag?"

"I don't." She began explaining. "It's just the changes you made that I hated. You know, the military-styled changes."

"How come? I-I bet you're not a fan of violence, but..." He hesitated, waiting for Isabella to say something.

"You wanna know the truth?" She asked; he nodded. "Here goes." She took a deep breath away from him, then turned back to him, pulling him closer to her body. "Remember earlier in the summer? You know, like, when I ran away because you were oblivious to my crush on-"

"Stop. P-Please, just don't bring that up!" He covered his ears quickly. He loved Isabella so much he didn't want to be reminded of a time when he didn't notice her. She slowly took his hands off his ears.

"Just listen. Back then, when I was running away, I was planning to stay with my Uncle Fredward. He was the closest relative that I had."

"Aww, you loved him _that_ much."

"No, literally. He _was _the closest relative. All my other relatives are in Puerto Rico. Anyway..."

"Wait a second. Wait. Isn't he the relative that you found out was dead for over 5 years when you got to California, and that even if you had gone to your desired destination, you still would've been alone?"

She hesitated before nodding cautiously. Tears started swelling up in Isabella's eyes. "Yes. Yes he is." She turned quickly to him, opened her eyes and looked at him like she was about to cry. "Phineas, he died in the line of duty!" She shouted before burying her face into her arms, sobbing. Phineas wrapped his arms around her tiny neck and stroked her hair.

"What are you talking about?"

"Phineas, he was deployed into Iraq!" She shouted again before leaning into Phineas's arms. Her hysterical crying finally settled long enough for her to gaze up at her best friend's eyes, who showed nothing but warmth, comfort, and assurance. "He was a war veteran." She spoke up again as she sat up. "It was his life long dream to serve in the military, and he was drafted when he turned 37. You know, in my entire life, I was only able to see him a total of 5 times before he was killed in the line of duty."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"After I found out he had been dead for so long, I decided to do some research about him. And I figured out why we were never notified about his death. Turns out, he legally had his last name changed."

"You mean...he got married?"

"That's what I thought. But Uncle Freddie was never good with the ladies. Anyway, he had his last name legally changed to "Finkle" from "Garcia-Shapiro", so that's why a different family was notified of his death and not us."

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." The two sat there, hugging, for a long period of time. Neither said a single word. Both longed to enjoy a quiet, comforting hug from the other since she was injured. "And Phineas, that's why I grew concerned when you set up that military game. I was concerned that you weren't thinking about the consequences that could come with it. I don't blame you, though. Nothing ever goes wrong with your plans, so I guess you didn't expect anything to go wrong here. But I at least hope now, you understand why I was so upset."

"I do, Isabella. And I'm sorry." He tightened his embrace on his, hoping to let her know that he would always be there for her no matter what. "You know, the only reason I set up that game was because I wanted to be just like my sister."

"You wanted to be a crazy psychopath obsessed with getting people in trouble for things that really aren't worth getting in trouble for?"

"No. I meant I wanted to be like her, and serve our country."

You want to join the army!"

"I didn't say that. I mean, I have thought about it, but after today, I would never want to risk my life out there, especially if it means the ones I love have to suffer. But I'm going to find other ways to make our country a better place..." He saw the concerned expression on Isabella's face. "When I get older."

"Good. 'Cause there's no point in trying to do anything now. I mean, you could if you wanted to, but you don't. Look, Phineas, I don't blame you for injuring me, and I don't blame you for doing what you did in the first place. You love your sister very much, so of course you would want to be like her. Anyway, it's getting late. I think you should go home; I'm sure your mom & dad are on their way home anyway."

"Good point. But I promise I'll come by and visit everyday until you heal up." He hugged her tightly one last time and kissed her before getting out of bed and making his way back out of the window. Before stepping out, he turned back one last time, and blew her a kiss. She did the same just before he was out of sight.

* * *

Late that night, after Linda & Lawrence had returned from their errands, & Perry had returned from his mission, everybody had gone to sleep. Everyone's sleep was peaceful, even Phineas, despite the fact that he still felt he was partially responsible for Isabella becoming injured. But not everybody was having a peaceful sleep.

Outside the Flynn-Fletcher home, a tall, slender man, with white hair and a very faint white beard, who, for some reason, was wearing a long, turtle neck sweater, & gloves, climbed up the side of the houses up to the window of the room where Phineas & Ferb slept. The man peered into the window and saw the two sleeping boys, but only had his eyes set on one. He opened the window up, careful not to wake anybody up, and climbed in.

With a black wool bag in his hands, he tip-toed quickly and quietly to the snoring Phineas. Not knowing that Phineas was a heavy-sleeper, he used all of his stealth to get up to him, scoop him up in the bag, and then dart out the room through the window, leaving nothing behind except a note. That was all. A note.

_**To be continued...**_

**End of Episode 28!**

**Ooh, a twist! Wonder what's gonna happen next. Well, you'll have to tune in to find out.**

**Next Time: Dr. Doofenshmirtz carries out his most vicious plan ever, and this time, Phineas is directly involved. Plus, a terrible secret about the Flynn family is revealed.**

**Expected Update: I will try to update by Friday, September 3rd, which, if you didn't know, is the day "Camp Rock 2, The Final Jam" premieres on Disney Channel.**


	37. 29: Trial By Warfare Part 2

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 29: Trial By Warfare Part II**

**Episode Summary: Part 2 of a new 4 part special event. Phineas finds himself in a world of trouble when he discovers that he has been kidnapped, and things get worse when he discovers who kidnapped him and why he kidnapped him. Meanwhile, Danville scrambles to find Phineas, Perry is sent out to locate him and bring him home, which threatens to reveal his secret, and Candace's training comes to a halt when her biggest mission ever arrives.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!__

* * *

_Phineas stirred around. He didn't know it yet, but he was lying on a cold, hard floor just outside the door of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and his kidnapped was standing right beside him.

"Wakey wakey, little boy." The man (who I would liked to be portrayed as Adam West) said, shaking him lightly. The boy opened his eyes slowly, and looked up at his kidnapped. Once he stretched his arms out and his vision cleared up from sleepiness, his jaw dropped to the ground, shocked at who his kidnapper really was.

"D-D-Dad!" He managed to get out. He was so shocked and so surprised to see the man he called "Dad" standing before him. "Is it really you?" He questioned the man's appearance, including his short, white hair & short, white beard, as well as the turtle neck & gloves he was wearing. "Why are you dressed for winter? It's July."

"Surprised to see me, huh? I knew you would be. I'll explain everything once we get inside." He said calmly, as he helped his son up, and led him into the door. The lights were off, but there was a man on the other side of the room, hard at work building something. Neither Phineas nor his father could tell what it was, and Phineas was still confused as to what was going on. "Hey!" Mr. Flynn shouted, and got the man's attention. "I brought what you asked for. And _unharmed_, too."

"Excellent." The sinister voice said without moving at all. His sly, evil laughter was enough to make Phineas quake in his boots.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, even though it was only 7:00 AM, things were already busy on Maple Drive. All of the kids were awake, and they were all eager to hear what Phineas & Ferb were going to do for the day. Unfortunately, they didn't hear anything from the two stepbrothers, 1) Because Phineas was missing, and 2) Ferb didn't really talk much. Normally, Isabella would be the first to hear from Phineas. But, since she did not, she grew concerned, and decided to give Irving a call, since he, besides her, was the expert on the subject of Phineas. Luckily, she had her cell phone. Since she wasn't able to walk on her own without crutches, her cell phone was her only means of tele-communication.

"No, I haven't seen or heard from Phineas yet." He explained to Isabella. "And that's a first. My sensors always seem to pick up movement from him. Do you think something might've happened to him."

"I'm not sure. I always give him a wake-up call. He likes it when I'm the first voice he hears. But...he hasn't returned my call yet. I'm getting worried."

"Isa!" Isabella's mother yelled from the other side of her door.

"I gotta go." The girl quickly told Irving and hung up her phone. Vivian opened the door slowly, holding a phone in her hand, with Linda on the other line. "What is it, Mom?"

"It's...Phineas." Was all Vivian was able to say before she choked up tears and started crying. She brought the phone to Isabella before leaving the room, and Linda, on the other line, spent the next several minutes explaining to Isabella what had happened, from the bed being empty, to the note that was left.

"What! Phineas has been kidnapped!"

"_We think so, Isabella. We-"_

"I'll be right over! Don't move a muscle!" Even though her right leg was injured and she couldn't put any pressure on her right foot, she still trotted, on crutches, out of the house, without breakfast, over to the Flynn-Fletcher home, where she, along with her mother who followed her, and moments later, every kid on Maple Drive was gathered in the home as Linda was about to read the note aloud.

"_I have your son."_ She began reading. "_He's fine. Be more concerned for your own safety._ And then it's signed, J.F."

"Who's J.F.?" Adyson asked.

"I don't know. I don't remember those initials at all."

"But if you don't know who it is, how will we ever find my future husband?" Isabella shrieked, sitting down on the couch to rest her broken foot.

"Well, last time Phineas was gone in the morning, it was because he and Ferb ran away. Do you think maybe he ran away again?"

"I don't think so. He seemed OK last night, even after what happened between him & Isabella. Look, I'm sure if we just call the police & send out a search party, Phineas will be back home in no time."

Through all of the commotion with Phineas's disappearance, Perry was deeply concerned for his owner, which he loved so much. That's why it hurt him when he got a call on his communicator watch to report to his lair. But, he did give in and headed down to his lair through the secret passage in the bathroom. He slid down the tube and turned on his big screen to receive a mission from Major Monogram.

"Good morning, Agent P. I'm sorry to hear about what happened with...your owner." He said, hesitant to bring up Phineas, knowing that Perry would be very upset. "But I'm afraid this is urgent, and it has everything to do with him. Last night, street light surveillance videos caught a tall, slender man wearing a sweater vest & gloves sneaking up to your house, scaling it to your owner's room, and coming out with a big bag in his hands. Now, when we switch the camera's view to just outside Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, you can see the same man heading towards the building. We believe that whoever kidnapped your owner has brought him to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I want you to infiltrate his lair, find out what he's up to, and put a stop to it."

Perry anxiously saluted his boss, grabbed his jet pack, along with some other supplies that he would need, and jetted off to his nemesis's evil lair, leaving everybody else in the home to figure out what they were going to do to find Phineas.

"I will call the police and file a report." Lawrence said calmly, making his way to the phone and calling 911.

"Meanwhile, what are the rest of us going to do?" Isabella asked.

"Well, how about we split up?" Irving suggested. "If we form our own search parties, we might be able to cover more ground. Who knows? We might actually find him before the cops do."

"The fan boy has a point." Buford agreed. "I don't really trust cops, anyway. They're always so nosey. Poking into other people's business, especially people who are trying to take money out of the bank."

"Buford...that's their job. To stop crime. Usually, when they arrest someone from the bank, it's because they're trying to rob it."

"That's my point. Cops can't be trusted."

"No, I meant...uh, never mind." Irving cupped his eyebrows and sighed.

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Phineas was about to be introduced to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Dad, what's going on?" Phineas asked.

"Don't worry, my son." He said calmly, leading him to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "It will all become clear soon." They approached him and the man turned around to face them. "Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, this is my son, Phineas. Phineas, this is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"So _this_ is the prodigy child you told me all about." He said, ringing his hands together maniacally. "W-Wait a minute..." Suddenly, some memories of seeing him before popped up. "I think I've seen you before."

"Yeah, I remember you, too. You were the guy who claimed the money we found a couple of weeks back. And you were the coach of that "baseball team" that played against the Fireside Girls."

"That's right."

"Man, you were such a poor sport. You got ejected, didn't you?"

"Moving on..." Not wanting to recount those memories, Doofenshmirtz quickly changed the subject. "Now, little boy, I'm sure you're wondering why I've instructed your father to bring you here."

"Well, that has crossed my eye."

"Well, then allow me to get you up to speed." Phineas's father intervened. "You know how your sister, Candace, is in a different country, practicing her military skills and preparing herself to serve our country?"

"Yeah. But how does...wait a minute. Dad, how do you know that?"

"Just because I haven't seen you or your sister in years doesn't mean I don't know what's going on." He leaned in to whisper something. "By the way, I know all about you and that girl that lives across the street. You scored big time." He gave him a thumbs up, as Phineas smiled sheepishly, knowing he was referring to Isabella. "Anyway, I would assume that you think by her being in a different country learning all there is to be a veteran, she's going to be helping our country grow and become better than it is?"

"Uh-huh. Isn't that what being in the military is about?"

"Normally, yes. But unfortunately, where she is, that's not the case. You see, Commandant Edwin Spangler is not the person he seems to be."

"You mean he's actually a nice, loving tree-hugger who likes to donate his money to pet hospitals?" Phineas questioned, not really comprehending exactly what his father said. Doofenshmirtz was on the verge of laughing, but while Phineas wasn't looking, Mr. Flynn gave the evil scientist a death glare, signaling him to stop laughing, which he did immediately.

"That's not what I meant. What I meant was that he's not out to serve out country. He's out to destroy it."

"D-Destroy it. I don't understand."

"He's tricked your sister, and every other cadet that he gathered to Iraq with lies that they're going to help serve the country. Well, in actuality, he is planning a big invasion for the Tri-State Area. He's planning to overtake all the buildings, run the Mayor out of town, and make us their slaves for life."

"R-R-Really? B-But Candace...Candace wouldn't..."

"Your sister has probably already been brainwashed. That mindless psycho will stop at nothing to destroy our way of life."

"But there has to be something we can do. I-I love my sister, but if she's brainwashed into going through with an invasion that could put an end to our lives in the Tri-State Area, then I have to do something to stop it."

"That is why we already have a plan to put an end to their reign of terror before it even begins." Doofenshmirtz cut in, showing the giant ray that was behind him, pointing out the already open window. "Behold, gentlemen! I give you the Destruct-inator 2.0! When I activate the device, it will send out a giant missile up to the sky, where it will fall on the building of my choice. So, I will press this big, blue button, and the missile will fire from this cannon up into the sky, directly above their training camp, and then it will drop, and its constantly increasing velocity will cause an explosion so huge it will destroy the entire facility! Leaving the cadets and Spangler left in the cold, unforgiving ground."

"And then what?"

"What? There has to be another part of that plan? Why can't we just leave them there?" Phineas gave him a very stern glare, a glare that said "You-Know-That's-A-Dumb-Thing-To-Do". "Fine. But we'll work on the details later."

"So...what are we waiting for? Let's...get right on it." He was hesitant to follow through with the plan. _Candace is my sister, after all. I don't want her to get hurt in any way._

"It's not that simple, kid." His dad said, looking rather glum.

"It's not?"

"No, it's not. You see, the machine that I created takes a lot of power. And the power source is extremely rare to come across."

"Well, what is it?"

"I-I actually don't know what it's called. But, I know that it's powerful because I used it to power a previous invention of mine. The only problem is...I can't seem to make it correctly no matter what I do. I hired someone to make it last time. So, you know, we were kinda wondering..."

"If I would help you make this "element" you need to charge up your machine. Sure. I'd be willing to help." His answer still had a hint of hesitation, considering that Candace was directly involved with it. "But I'll need some time...and supplies."

"Oh sure. Here." Doofenshmirtz led him to the back end of the living room, and banged on the wall, thus opening a small part of the wall which appeared to be a secret passage. The passage led to another room, a room where Doofenshmirtz conducted all of his scientific experiments. "This is the room where I conduct my experiments. You'll find everything you'll need in here. Oh, and..." He took out a sheet and handed it to Phineas. "This is the formula that makes the "element". Good luck, and take all the time you need."

"Thanks, guys. I promise I'll do whatever I can." Phineas said optimistically, entering the room with absolutely no idea of what was really coming for him. Doofenshmirtz moved away from the door to give Phineas some time to work, and walked back to Mr. Flynn.

"He's a good kid." He said to Mr. Flynn. "I can see where he gets his optimism and high intelligence from."

"Why, thank you."

"But do you think he'll be able to come through for us? Or, rather, for you?"

"I don't know..." Mr. Flynn said slowly, as he rolled up the left sleeve of his turtle neck sweater, to reveal an unsightly and rather shocking sight for anybody to handle. His left hand, correction, his left arm, was completely deteriorated. There was no skin; just bone. "But if this doesn't work, I don't know what will."

* * *

Back down in the city, the search was on for Phineas. Nobody knew where to start looking, so everybody just spread out into the Tri-State Area, hoping to find him somewhere. The adults split into groups and went in one direction, and the kids split into groups & went in another direction.

"Phineas!" Irving called, as he, along with Ferb, Isabella, and Adyson in one group, decided to search the center of the city. "Where are you!"

"Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!" Isabella shouted, her movement slowed because of her crutch use.

"If you're playing a trick on us, this isn't funny!" Ferb shouted, visibly angry yet worried for his stepbrother's safety.

"Come on, guys. We have to think. Where would Phineas want to be more than anywhere else?" Adyson implied, getting the four of them thinking really hard. But eventually, they all came to the same conclusion.

"The Super Duper Mega Superstore!" They all shouted at the same time.

"But why would he go there and not tell anybody?" Irving inquired.

"Who cares? As long as we find him! Now come on! To the Mega Store!" Isabella shouted, as Irving started screaming maniacally, and began making his way to the store, leaving Ferb, Adyson, and Isabella behind. Ferb went along with Irving, while Adyson stayed to comfort Isabella.

"Don't fret, chief. If Phineas is still out there, we're going to find him."

"I know. It's just...well, it hasn't even been a day, but I already miss him a lot. I miss the way he makes me laugh & makes me feel safe, the way his inventions go over-the-top and put a sock in those crazy scientist & stuff, the way he lets me touch his extremely cute butt & lets me use it as a pillow at night..." Isabella looked over at Adyson and saw that the last comments she made about Phineas had made her uncomfortable, as they had been about matters she had promised Phineas she would keep private.

"Isabella, did you suffer a concussion when you fell yesterday?" Adyson asked, confused & curious.

"Uh...possibly." Isabella answered, determined to keep hers & Phineas's cover. "Um, let's catch up with Ferb & Irving, shall we?"

* * *

The adults weren't having much luck either. They were on the bad side of Danville, hoping that they would be able to find Phineas. Unfortunately, they weren't having a good day so far.

"An hour of searching, and we still can't find that little boy." Biffany, Buford's mother, complained. "My bunyons are killing me."

"Get a grip, Biff." Linda angrily hissed to her friend. "This is my son we're talking about. I don't know about you, but I am _not _resting until my little boy is safe at home!"

"Linda, I know you want to find Phineas just as much as any one of us do. But, this is a big Tri-State Area. Phineas could be anywhere, if he's still even in the Tri-State Area."

"Lawrence, don't say that. He's still here somewhere. We just have to keep looking."

"Hey guys!" They heard somebody faintly shout from the distance. They look forward to see that it was Stacy running up to them, along with Jeremy. "Guys, the people of the Tri-State Area are acting very strangely. They keep telling us some crazy story that Phineas has gone missing. He hasn't, though, right?" She waited a few seconds for one of them to respond and tell her that it was all a joke. But, she grew concerned immediately when she realized that none of them were going along with it and that Phineas was really missing. "I-It's just a joke, right?" She asked, and was greeted with solemn and depresseding shakes of the heads.

"Oh man. I'm so sorry for you guys." Jeremy said; the anxiety & pain of having Phineas missing like this was visible on everybody. "Can we help in any way?"

"That's awfully nice of you, Jeremy. Why, you could help us search around town." Lawrence said as Jeremy and Stacy joined the search group, concered for the boy's well being.

"Do you think he's OK?" Stacy asked Jeremy.

"I sure hope so. I could only imagine what it'll do to his friends if we can't find him. Oh, and his sister. When Candace fines out, she's going to be devestated."

"Well, hopefully, we'll be able to find him soon enough so Candace won't have to find out."

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry was on his way to his nemesis's evil lair. The only thing on his mind at the moment was Phineas. He couldn't stop thinking about his owner, and what kind of torture Doofenshmirtz might be putting him under. He had no idea what to expect, and he had no idea what was really going on. He approached the building and looked up, his eyes & his mind filled with rage & frustration. He made a promise to himself that if Phineas was hurt in any way, he would make sure that this would be the last time Dr. Doofenshmirtz ever bothered anybody. Perry would be sure to make sure of that. He aimed upward and shot his grappling hook onto the balcony, and started scaling the wall of the building.

His adrenaline levels were through the roof, so it didn't take him too long to climb up to where Doofenshmirtz's lair was. The first thing he saw before he looked inside was the giant cannon sticking out of the open window. He assumed that this was his newest -inator that he would use. But before he decided to destroy it, he thought he would at least listen to what Doofenshmirtz had to say. So he peered in through one of the closed windows, but was surely surprised when he saw someone standing next to him. Of course, he didn't remember Phineas's & Candace's dad, because it had been so many years. He simply assumed that it was another one of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N's evil scientists.

After the two had left the scene and headed into the kitchen for a snack, Perry decided to head inside to see what else was going on. He first went up to the big -inator that was pointing out of the building. He tried pressing any and all buttons that he could immediately find on the outside, but none of the buttons would start up the device. After looking at the machine, Perry decided to spy on Doofenshmirtz and Mr. Flynn for some time. So he launched his grappling hook at the ceiling, climbed up the rope, and with suction cups attacked to his hands and feet, crawled stealthily on the roof over to the kitchen, where his nemesis & Mr. Flynn were having some coffee & some lasagna for brunch. They were also having hearty conversations about their lives & Dr. Doofenshmirtz's career in evil.

After about a few minutes of socializing, Mr. Flynn decided to check up on Phineas. He walked over to a small screen that was set up by the fridge, There was a small box in front of it, which had a button on it and a microphone. Mr. Flynn pressed the button, and the screen turned on, with an image of Phineas on the other side, hard at work with the "power source" for the -inator. "How's it going, kiddo?" Mr. Flynn asked calmly.

"Not so well." Phineas replied, wiping sweat from his brow. He was sweating from working so hard in a short period of time. "But I've still got plenty of stuff to work with."

"That's the spiti, kiddo. You want something to eat?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

"Great. I'll check up on you again in a little while." He pressed the button again, turning the intercom off. Perry, still on the ceiling, overheard the conversation and saw Phineas on the screen. He made his way out of the kitchen, still unseen, and changed his objective: Find Phineas. Now, Perry decided to search in several other rooms, including Dr. Doofenshmirtz's sleeping quarters. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing when he searched his room, as far as finding Phineas was concerned. But Perry wasn't about to just give up and leave Phineas. He was going to continue to search everywhere until he found him.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in Iraq, the cadets were hard at work with their daily training session. They were all giving everything they had and were refusing to give up despite the massive pain their bodies felt. While they were doing that, Commandant Spangler was in his office, observing the combat training via cameras that were set up. He was in a seemingly good mood, and had been for most of the morning, until his phone went off. He read the caller ID, and, despite not recognizing the number, answered it. "Spangler. Talk to me."

"_Miss me_?" A voice said on the other line.

"Who is this? I demand to have a name."

"_Aww, you don't recognize me?"_

_"_Is this...no, it can't be. But I thought I saw the last of you all those years ago. J-J-" He stuttered. The person on the other end had been a thorn in his side several years before and now, Spangler believed he was out of his hair for good. "Jerry? Jerry Flynn?"

"_Ding ding! We got ourselves a winner_."

"I thought I saw the last of you years ago."

"_Technically, you did. I mean, you can't see me through the phone, can you? Can you?_"

"Don't get smart with me! What do you want! You know I dumped Linda years ago and I haven't looked back."

_"Are you sure about that? I mean, you have her daughter. And I have her brother._" He snarled on the other line, referring to Phineas. Spangler's eyes opened widely.

"What do you want?"

"_I want you and your cadets out of the way so they don't get in the way of my plan! But if you think you can stop me..." _Before Mr. Flynn could say anymore, Spangler had hung up. "_Hello?_" And Spangler was out the door, heading to his cadets.

"Cadets! Front and center!" He screamed, causing them all to stop right away. They looked in his direction and saw the anger in his face. They didn't want him to get more upset, so they all followed his orders and piled up in front of him. "Cadets, you have all come a long way. Now, it is time to put your skills to the ultimate test. Follow me." He led all of the cadets to a secret vault. Opening it up with a secret combination, he revealed it to be filled with tons of military-based weapons, such as grenades, firearms, slingshots, and more. The cadets all "ooh'd" and "ahh'd" at the sight of all the weaponry. "Grab your weapons and prepare yourselves. We are heading out."

"Where are we going, sir?" Candace asked politely. She was met with an unpleasent stare from him.

"We're going to Danville, cadet." He said deeply, angrily before leaving the scene to allow the cadets to grab their weapons. Candace rushed and grabbed the best weapons she could find, including several rifles & hand guns, grenades, even a swiss army knife. She met up with Tara, who had similar weapons to her. "I can't believe he's letting us pick out our own weapons to eat from. I wonder why we're going back to Danville."

"You mean you're not excited to go see your brothers again?" Tara implied.

"Of course I am. It'll be nice to see them again. It just seems strange, because, well, we've only been here a week and a half and now we're going back to America? It just doesn't make sense."

"Perhaps something came up. Or maybe this is another test for us."

"Maybe...But why do I have the feeling that something big is going to go down?"

* * *

Back in Danville, things were getting tense with the kids. In another part of the city, Django, Milly, Gretchen, Holly, and Melissa were near city hall, desperately trying to get City Hall involved. Mayor Doofenshmirtz was more than willing to help out with the search for Phineas, but with the less-than-satisfying results produced in the short time the search was on, he had considered pulling back his resources and calling off the search.

"But you can't just call it off!" Milly complained. "It's hasn't even been half a day yet." At that point, the time was almost 10:30 AM. It had only been just over 2 1/2 hours since the search officially began. Although that was a long stretch for police men to be searching for a lost boy, and it may or may not have been appropriate for Mayor Doofenshmirtz to stop the search for the day, when Mayor Doofenshmirtz stops searches for lost kids, he never starts them up again.

That was why the kids were so determined to get Mayor Doofenshmirtz to continue the search until Phineas was found. "Kids, I'm sorry. But it's been over 4 hours and our police officers are exhausted. They're practically begging to stop."

"I saw 7 police officers on our way here and none of them looked tired." Milly retaliated back. "I even gave them some of my homemade lemonade because I thought they might be thirsty."

"Kids, I appreciate your dedication to this young boy, but after I call off the search today, that's it. There's nothing more I can do."

"No, there's plenty of stuff you can do. There's just nothing more you _want_to do." Melissa retaliated back, angry at the Mayor. Ever since the first time Melissa had met Phineas & Ferb, she had been a big fan of what they do. (**We Call it Maze**) You could even say that Melissa had a small crush on the two boys (though not as big of a crush that Isabella had on Phineas). "I think there are a lot of sources that could help find Phineas, but you're just too cheap to do anything."

"Ha ha." The Mayor chuckled. "Silly little kid." He said arrogantly, patting Melissa's head. "Thinks she knows more about Danville than me. That's a good one. You crack me up."

"Mr. Mayor?" The Mayor's assistant, Melanie, said from inside. "Your nephew's on the phone."

"Ooh, little Jeffery. I love getting calls from him." As if nothing had happened, he skipped back into the building to talk to his nephew on the phone. The kids were all left stunned at the Mayor's lack of support or sympathy at their current situation.

"Wow, so he'll insult _us_? But when his little nephew calls, he's all sunshine and daisies?" Django protested, also angry at the lack of support from the Mayor.

"I know. He's being a total jerk about this. And he doesn't even seem like a bad person. He just seems...arrogant and stuck-up." Milly pointed out.

"Well, power'll do that to you." Holly said. "So now what? We have to find Phineas today or else we're all on our own."

"Let me check with our troop leader." Gretchen said as she pulled out a walkie-talkie and turned it on. "Nerd-bird to Ice Queen. Come in, Ice Queen."

"_For the tenth time, Gretchen, we're not using code names." _Isabella said on the other line.

"Sorry, cheif."

"_How's it going on your end?"_

"Well, the Mayor's acting like a big baby right now. He's threatening to shut down search efforts if we can't find Phineas before the day is over."

"_What! That's terrible! He can't do that. Can he?"_

"I think he can. But it's probably not in good nature. And he yelled at us and called us "snot-nosed brats" when we tried to talk him out of it."

"He said it was because of "budget cuts", whatever those are." Melissa continued for Holly. "But I think it's because he's acting like a doo-doo brain!"

"_Melissa, calm down. Getting angry won't solve any of our problems. What we need to do is get smart. I'll check up with Katie, Ginger, Buford, and Baljeet, and see if they've found anything. Over and out." _The line on the other side went dead.

Back with Isabella, she decided to get in contact with the other group of kids. "Ginger, come in. What's the update?"

_"No sign of Phineas anywhere." _Ginger, Katie, Buford, and Baljeet were looking in the woods, thinking that he may have gone back to his Grandpa Clyde & Grandma Betty Jo like he did the last time he "left home". "_And we even looked at his Grandma & Grandpa's."_

"Oh man, this is bad." Isabella said to herself. "If Phineas isn't with his grandparents, where else could he be? That's the one place he would be above all others. Now what?"

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Phineas wa still hard at work, struggling to meet the demand set upon him. He was following the formula given to him, yet he still found many struggles. After almost 2 full hours of hard work, consisting of mixing liquids together, and dripping sweat from his head, his dad came into the room and brought him a sandwich and a big glass filled with lemonade.

"Here, son. I thought you might ask for this anyway." He said, putting the cup and the sandwich down on a table that was just next to Phineas's work area. "You sure are working hard, aren't you?" He noticed the sweat dripping from his brow. "You know, I think it would be OK if you took a little break."

"No way, Dad. I'm very self-conscious about that. I like to get things done before I take breaks of any kind." Phineas said firmly, not taking his eyes off his work. "Besides, I think I'm almost done. Just give me a few more minutes..."

"Great to hear it. But, seriously, though, don't be afraid to take a break if you need it." Mr. Flynn quietly backed out of the room, leaving Phineas to continue his work. Mr. Flynn approached Doofenshmirtz, who was busy making adjustments on his "-inator". "I think the boy's almost finished." He whispered, completely unaware that Perry was spying on them from the ceiling. The platypus crawled into the secret passage that Mr. Flynn had left opened, and saw Phineas hard at work.

"Excellent." Doofenshmirtz said menacingly.

"And soon, my life will finally be able to go back to the way it was before that fateful day!" Mr. Flynn also said menacingly, though his tone and his attitude were visibly nicer than what Doofenshmirtz had.

Inside the secret room, Phineas was just about finished with the solution. "Almost done. Just gotta mix these two liquids together..." He just had to mix two more liquids together before the solution was complete. Before he did so, he put the two beakers filled with unstable liquids down on the table, and rested his head for a moment, completely exhausted from working for 2 hours. "Wow, I am wiped! Maybe Isabella's right. Maybe working this hard without taking a break isn't good for me." He wiped his brow of sweat, and was surprised to see just how much sweat he wiped off his brow. "Gosh, I'm sweating like a pig."

He felt compelled to finish the project. But he also felt so tired that he couldn't move. He believed that if he even tried to finish, he would collapse. He turned his head to look outside the open passage way. Perry was hidden cleverly behind the open door. "I don't they would mind if I closed my eyes..." He yawned and started closing his eyes. "For just a minute or two..." He folded his arms on the table, rested his head on them, and soon enough, he was asleep, snoring lightly.

Perry came out from his hiding spot and closed the door. He slowly tip-toed closer to Phineas, pulled out a pillow, and put it under the sleeping boy's head, knowing that his exhaustion would keep him asleep for awhile. He wiped some sweat from his brow before taking the two beakers of liquids in them, and smashing them hard into the ground.

Outside the room, Doofenshmirtz & Mr. Flynn heard the crashes. "What was that!" Doofenshmirtz asked excitedly.

"It sounded like a crash. Oh, I hope the boy didn't break anything." Mr. Flynn said as they ran to the secret passage way, and opened it quickly. They opened it so quickly that Perry didn't even have any time to make an escape, so he was seen in full view by Doofenshmirtz & Mr. Flynn.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, while Mr. Flynn looked on confused.

"Wait a second. That looks like my son's pet platypus!" Mr. Flynn shouted, making the connection.

"It is? You mean, this little boy..." Doofenshmirtz shouted, not realizing the volume of his own voice. "Owns this annoying secret agent!" Little did he know that his loud shouting stirred Phineas awake.

"Huh? What's going on?" He said quietly, stretching his arms out and wiping some drool that was hanging from his mouth which was about to drip onto his pillow "Where'd this pillow come from?" He scratched his head, then he turned around and saw Perry standing there, the shattered glass on the glass and the spilled liquid, as well as Dr. Doofenshmirtz & Mr. Flynn. "What happened to my project! I was so close to finishing!"

"Does this platypus belong to you?" Doofenshmirtz inquired, referring to Perry, who remained motionless. Phineas motioned closely towards Perry, and took his secret agent fedora off of his head.

Phineas gasped. "P-P-Perry? Perry, is it really you?" Knowing that his secret was blown, Perry reluctantly nodded his head slowly. "Wait, I-I don't understand."

"Your pet platypus is a secret agent. He works for an organization known as the O.W.C.A., the Organization Without a Cool Acronym. He disappears every day to receive a mission from his boss, which usually involves stopping whatever evil scheme I come up with?"

"Evil? But you don't seem evil at all. Just misguided and misunderstood."

"Really? You don't think that I'm...evil?" Doofenshmirtz was confused. He thought he would be able to leave an evil impression on Phineas.

"Yep. That's my son. So forgiving." Mr. Flynn said in a rather proud tone. Meanwhile, Phineas was completely stunned at these revelations.

"Wow...I just can't believe it. So that's where he disappers to everyday. I thought he just got lost in the city or something. But all this time, he was fighting...evil, or whatever you're doing. So...what I was doing...those potions I was mixing...they were to help you with an evil scheme? And Commandant Spangler isn't evil either?"

"No, and no. Son, I have a confession to make." Mr. Flynn kneeled down and grabbed the boy's shoulder. "I lied to you. That potion you were making wasn't the power source to his invention. In fact, it works just fine. The truth is...it was a regeneration syrum."

"Regeneration? For what?"

My. Flynn took a deep breath, took his hand off his shoulder, and slowly took off his turtle neck sweater. As he did so, it slowly became clear to Phineas what was going on. When his entire sweater was off, it revealed that half of his torso skin was gone. His arms were nearly all bone, no skin, and the top half of his chest was gone, revealing his rib cage, his spinal cord, and an artificial heart at work, while the bottom half still had skin, which was slowly being melted away.

Phineas gasped. "Oh my gosh. Dad! What happened to you!"

"Whoa, that is far worse than I imagined!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, disgusted and intrigued by the sight. Perry was also grossed out, but maintained his cool.

"Dad, is this..." Phineas was starting to choke up. "Is this why you left all those years ago?"

"I'm afraid so, my son. You remember one of the first big ideas you ever had? You know, you wanting to gain super powers and be just like your idol, Batman?"

"Huh? I never wanted to...oh yeah, now I remember. I was 3 at the time, and I wanted to have super powers and help people like Batman did, so I went into the sewers because I had read an article online that nuclear waste generally ends up in the sewers. And I was under the assumption that nuclear waste gave people super powers."

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute! Your mother let you go into the sewers by yourself?" Doofenshmirtz asked, surprised at what he considered a "lack of good parenting".

"Well to be truthful, she didn't really take anything we ever said seriously."

"It's true. Like just last year, we told her we were going to find the city of Atlantis, and she didn't even as much as look up at me to wish me luck." Phineas said, recounting one of the many times his mom didn't take him seriously. It didn't really bother him anymore, because he knew now she would take him seriously.

"Anyway, he didn't go alone." Mr. Flynn continued the story. "I accompanied him into the sewer. And when we were done picking out our nuclear waste out of the sewer water, just as we were about to leave, something happened. The boy tripped on his shoelace and as he fell, all the waste we had collected spilled onto me." Dr. Doofenshmirtz gasped. "Now, Phineas was excited because he thought I would get super powers. But unfortunately, and I learned this the hard way, contaminated nuclear waste doesn't give a person super powers. It dissolves their skin."

Perry walked over to Phineas and attempted to comfort him, seeing that the boy was getting more upset as his dad recounted the dreadful day.

"When we returned home, I tried desperately to show my ex-wife what had happened. But, for some strange reason, she wouldn't listen. Heck, she wouldn't even look up from her newspaper. All she said was 'That's nice, deary. Now go wash up for dinner'. I pleaded with her to look at me, but when she finally did, she paid no attention to my deterioating skin. She got mad and started yelling, saying that I was 'Always making up stories trying to get the kids in trouble'. In reality, I was never trying to get Phineas in trouble. I just wanted somebody to freakin' call 911 and get me to an ER. But she refused, and finally snapping, she told me to pack my things and leave."

"Gosh, Dad. I never knew." Phineas finally pepped up. "I'm so sorry Mom treated you like that. But wait, wasn't that day just after Grandpa Clyde had been involved in an accident? Yeah, yeah it was. And Mom took it really hard because she was so close with him."

"That's still no excuse for treating me like garbage. SO I packed my things and left town. After that, I decided to find somebody that would help me with my problem. But no matter where I went in the world, people would always mock me. They laughed and pointed at me because of my deterioating condition. Even the doctors & nurses laughed. And I swore to myself on that day that I would take my revenge on your mother and everybody that mocked me if it was the last thing I do."

"Wow. Somebody's got issues." Doofenshmirtz noted. "I mean, I dated Linda Flynn once, but I don't have a big grudge against her."

"She was nice to _you_?" Mr. Flynn asked the evil scientist.

"No, no she wasn't. I'm saying I don't have a _big _grudge against her. I don't like her that much, but obviously I don't hate her as much as you do."

Phineas slowly approached his father, feeling guilty over what had happened. "Dad...I'm..."

"I don't blame you for what happened, son. You tried to get me help even though nobody would listen to you."

"But I'm the one that spilled it on you in the first place."

"That's in the past. Now we must focus on the present and future. And to do that, I must exact my revenge on all those who mocked me and humiliated me! And I'll start with your mother..." He pulled out a remote, pressed a button, and soon enough, coming from Doofenshmirtz 's room, two of his previously used "Self-Attaching Belts" that can stick to any surface came flying out, cuffed Phineas by the neck & Perry by his little body, and stuck to the opposite wall. **(Journey to the Center of Candace)**

"What is this!" Phineas shouted, trying to break out.

"This is one of my Self-Attaching Belts that sticks to any surfaces." Doofenshmirtz cackled. "And now, both of you are trapped."

"And it would be best if neither of you tried to escape..." Mr. Flynn started fiddling with his remote. "Or else the results would be _shocking_."

"Yeah, the results would be - wait a minute. What are you talking about?" Doofenshmirtz asked, confused as to what Mr. Flynn had meant. But it didn't take long for the man to show him as he pressed a button on his remote, and in seconds, Phineas & Perry both received a small electric shock through their bodies. Phineas screamed while Perry growled. "What are you doing! Are you insane!"

"Possibly." Mr. Flynn said flatly, but with a malevelent tone. "But more importantly, this is to make sure that Phineas & his stupid pet platypus don't escape from their trap. Every time they try, the self-attaching _**electrodes**_ will administer an electric shock to their bodies that will become more powerful with each attempt." He eyed Perry down angrily. "That's what you get for ruining my only chance to become a normal person again!"

"Hey, don't take it out on Perry."

"Why shouldn't I? He smashed your project. You were so close to helping me become normal again! But thanks to his intrusions, there's nothing we can do now to help me become normal. Oh well, live and learn I suppose. But at least this time, it won't go unnoticed. I plan to get my revenge on those who mocked me and humiliated me, and nobody is going to stop me. Now it's time for me to make a little call..."

* * *

Everybody had ended their search parties back in Danville and had decided to return to Maple Drive. All of the kids, & all of the teens & adults returned to the front of the Flynn-Fletcher home, none of them any closer to finding Phineas. The hope that he would be found was slowly diminishing in the group.

"Now what?" Linda asked. "We've searched all over the Tri-State Area and there are no traces of my son."

"Don't worry, Linda. We'll go out searching again later and I'm sure we'll find the boy." Vivian reassured her, even though there was obvious doubt on her face. "He must be around here somewhere."

"Yeah, don't give up." Isabella intervened, still confident that Phineas would be found. But just as Linda was about to give up, her cell phone went off. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody, yet answered it anyway.

"Whoever this is, I am so not in a good mood!" She screeched angrily into the phone, to the surprise (and pleasure) of the person on the other line.

"_Now is that any way to talk to an ex-husband?"_ The person on the other line was Jerry Flynn, the one person she didn't want to talk to.

"What do _you_ want!"

"_I just called to see how you were doing. And to see if you misssed me_?"

"Missed _you?_ Why would I miss a filthy, obnoxious jerk like you who likes to frame his own children for "mystery crimes"! I always said that Candace got her behavior from you."

"_I told you, what happened was true! My skin's still dissolving to this very day."_

"Oh cut the lies, you dirty animal!" Everyone around her who was listening to her gasped at the insults she was lashing out.

"_Well, if you're gonna be like that, I guess I won't tell you where your son is."_

_"My son? Wait, you have Phineas? Wait, wait! Don't hang up! Where-" _

"_Too late."_

_"_When I get my hands on you..."

"_You? Ha! It's time for you and everybody to pay for mocking me all these years! You're gonna get yours if it's the last thing I do. Until then...__ta-ta for now." _She tried to recant her poor behavior in order to salvage the location of Phineas, but to no avail. Mr. Flynn had hung up the phone. Angry at herself, she dropped her phone to the ground.

"Who was that, Linda?" Lawrence asked, unsure at what just happened. He didn't know anybody that Linda would hate so much as to use such a hurtful tone towards. He lifted her chin and saw that she was crying.

"That was...my ex-husband."

"You mean Jerry?"

"Phineas's biological dad?" Isabella asked.

"Yep."

"Well, where is he?" Buford asked, hope slightly restored.

"I-I don't know. I think he has him hostage, but he wouldn't tell me the location." It was at this point that Linda started crying, and Vivian along with Lawrence had to comfort her. On top of that, all the kids started murmuring to themselves. With this new revelation, they weren't sure what was going to happen, and they weren't sure that they could do anything more.

"Well..." Ferb began, just as confused as anybody, and just as anxious to find his stepbrother. "This is what I call a cliffhanger."

_**To be continued...**_

**End of Episode 29!**

**Next Time: Candace returns to Danville to help find Phineas, and things take a turn for the worse when they _do_ find him. Plus, with Phineas knowing Perry's secret now, what will happen between them? And will they even survive for anything to happen?**

**Expected Update: I will try hard to get it done before I go back to school on September 7th. But with Hurricane Earl making its way to Long Island, there's a chance I may not be able to. And when school starts, updates will be even slower.**


	38. 30: Trial By Warfare Part 3

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 30: Trial By Warfare Part III**

**Episode Summary: Part 3 of a new 4 part special event. Commandant Spangler and his army of cadet trainees arrive in Danville, in order to help with the search to find Phineas & get him back from Mr. Flynn & Dr. Doofenshmirtz. But what happens next will change Danville's history forever. Plus, with Perry's secret out, how will Phineas take it? And will Perry have to be relocated?**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!__

* * *

_Phineas struggled vigorously to get out of his trap. He, along wilth Perry, were trapped in two of Doofenshmirtz's "Self Attaching Belts", belts that stuck to any and all surfaces. But that wasn't all. They were also tricked out by Mr. Flynn so that every time they tried to escape, they would unleash a small electric shock to them that would get stronger with each instance. In fact, they were due for another one.

The collars lit up, and only seconds later, bolts of black lightning shot from both collars, electrocuting both of them. Still, they continued struggling to get out. "Struggle all you want, son." Mr. Flynn said with an evil chuckle. Because the more you do, the more pain you'll feel." His voice had become noticeably more malicious as time passed. "And the same goes for your little platypus friend over there."

"Dad, why are you doing this?" Phineas asked, as he stopped his struggles for the moment. "I thought you and I were OK."

"_We're _OK. But I still have a bone to pick with your mother. And what better bait to lure her here than her very own son?" Mr. Flynn was all for using his own son as bait to get back at his ex-wife. Dr. Doofenshmirtz, however, wasn't totally for it.

"Uh, are you...are you sure that, you know, this is a good idea?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked sheepishly. "I mean, I don't really feel comfortable with using one of my ex-girlfriends' son as bait when..."

"Oh put a sock in it, Doof n' Puss!" Mr. Flynn snapped at the evil scientist. "What kind of evil villain are you if you're not even willing to get a little dirty once in a while?"

"Hey, that's not true. I build giant machines that...that do stuff..."

"And always fail in the end." A voice, Norm the Robot, said from the other room. Norm was stored in Doofenshmirtz's closet, away from the action.

"Norm, shut up! You're in there for a reason!" He shouted, turning to his room. Phineas looked on, confused as to what happened, virtually because he had never met Norm before. Doofenshmirtz chuckled as he slowly turned back to Mr. Flynn. "Heh heh. Don't mind him. He's just a pest."

But Mr. Flynn was not impressed at all, and his already low opinion of him had gotten even lower. "You're a disgrace to villains everywhere. Anyway, now that the call has been made, it's time for Phase 2 of "Operation: Ultimate Vengence"." He walked over to Perry & Phineas, and with his remote, administered an electric shock that was short, but powerful. But it was strong enough to knock the two out cold temporarily. They screamed for a moment before passing out. Then he proceeded to take off their electrodes and carry them over his shoulder.

"Wait a minute. What are you doing? You're freeing them!" Doofenshmirtz didn't really understand what was happening. Granted, he didn't see the short electric shock that knocked Phineas & his platypus out.

"Did you not see the electric shock the collars administered to them to knock them unconscious, you moron!" He snarled. "I have a big surprise in store for the Tri-State Area, and I want these two to have front row seats to the biggest show in the Tri-State's history. But, we're going to have to go to the roof to make it happen." He turned to the door and started making his way to the staircase that led to the roof. Doofenshmirtz, still confused, followed close by.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on Maple Drive, commotion was arising over the stunning call Linda received from her Ex-husband, Jerry Flynn (AKA Mr. Flynn)

"Now what?" Vivian asked. "So we know who might have Phineas. But we still don't know where he is. It's like we're no closer to finding him now than we were this morning."

"Yeah, and I'm starving. I haven't had anything since breakfast." Isabella said, noting her growling stomach. "I could certainly go for some pizza or potato...chips...wait a minute. That's it! THAT'S IT!" She shouted, believing that she had finally gotten an idea on how to find her future husband. "Mom! Mom, I need you to run home and get me my satchel that's in my closet."

"Why, mijita?"

"No time to explain. Just go!"

"I'm on it!" Vivian took off for her house, ran up to Isabella's room, grabbed said satchel, and came back out in record time.

"How's your stupid purse going to help us find Dilweed?" Buford questioned in his usual smug attitude. He thought Isabella was wasting her time, when in reality, she was pulling out a device that could help find Phineas.

"Shut up, Buford!" She impatiently yelled, pulling out a black box, with a screen on it. It was a portable GPS tracking device. "Aha! Here it is. I can't believe I forgot about you."

"Forgot about what!" Baljeet questioned, in a much more patient tone than Buford.

"This, my friends, is a GPS tracking device that can track anyone, anywhere, anytime. But it only works on certain people, people that had computer chips inside their skulls."

"And how's that gonna help us?"

"Well, a few years ago, after Phineas got lost in the Super Duper Mega Superstore, I decided to implant a small computer chip into his brain, so I would be able to track his every movement with this tracking device. Of course, I haven't needed to use it...until now."

"So you're saying this thing could help us find my son?" Linda questioned, with mixed emotions boiling. She was a bit angry that this hadn't been brought up before, but she was also a bit relieved, knowing that there was now hope they could find him. "Why didn't you bring this up before, Isabella?" She asked, trying very hard to maintain her composure.

"I was in a panic. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Isa. The important thing is that now we'll be able to find Phineas." Vivian pointed out.

"Let's hope the thing still works." Ferb said. "After all, _I_ was the one that built this thing in the first place."

Isabella turned the device on, and waited a few moments for it to turn on. "Oh yeah, I forgot. This thing takes forever to turn on. Hang on, it should be coming up." The static that was on the screen quickly disappeared, and revealed a map of the entire Tri-State Area, and a small, red dot, indicating Phineas's location. "Yes! Got it!"

"So? Where is he?" Irving asked.

"According to this, Phineas is held in a building called "Doofenshmirtz...Evil...Incorporated." Isabella read aloud.

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

"Oh yeah. I know that place. It's the building that has all those lousy jingles." Buford said. "Every time I walk by that lame building, a jingle plays. It makes no sense, though."

"Well, whatever the case, Phineas is there. And now that we know where he is, we can go and get him before something really bad-" Isabella slowly trailed off when they heard & saw a bunch of buses coming up the street. They didn't know it yet, but the bus was filled with military cadets. And, not just any cadets, but Commandant Edwin Spangler's cadets. The doors of the buses slowly opened, and the cadets all piled out, Spangler being first, though. Candace was the last one to exit out of all the buses, but as soon as she did, all of the kids started cheering, and they ran up to her to give her a hug.

"Whoa, easy, kids. Easy on the outfit." She said in a very sarcastic, but rather jokingly tone. She sounded much more relaxed now than she did the last time they saw her.

"Candace, what are you doing back here?" Isabella asked.

"I don't know. Spangler didn't say."

"Yeah, what _is_she doing back here?" Linda asked Spangler suspiciously. Not that she wasn't happy to see her own daughter; she just had curiosity.

"We're here because somebody is in Danville that could very well threaten all of our very lives." Spangler explained strongly. "This man is dangerous. He has been known to blow up buildings, such as hospitals & police stations, ruin people's lives by taking what means most to them, and...he always leaves the toilet seat up."

"Oh my gosh, he sounds evil." Irving said, in a slightly sarcastic tone, mainly directed towards that last comment. (I mean, come on. Who _doesn't_ leave the toilet seat up every once in a while)

"Exactly my point, boy."

"Well, that's something I could definitely believe." Linda said firmly. At this point, she was so angry at her ex-husband that if anybody tried to tell her otherwise, she would refuse to believe it. "We all think he has my son held hostage."

"W-What!" Candace shrieked out. She really wanted to see Phineas, since they were all coming to Danville anyway. So it came as a bit of a slap-in-the-face when she heard that Phineas was missing. "Phineas has been kidnapped!"

"That's what we think. And we think his own father did it."

"You mean...your ex-husband, Mom?"

"Exactly."

"Well, what are we all doing standing around? Let's go find him!" Tara remarked, eager to get Phineas back. She didn't know him personally, but she knew how much Candace cared about him.

"Well, now that we knew just where Phineas is, I think it's about time we did that!" Isabella shouted, holding the GPS tracking device. "Here. It's a GPS tracking device that gives Phineas's current location. Thank goodness I installed a chip in his skull all those years ago."

Candace walked over to Isabella to get the GPS device, and that's when she noticed her foot. "Isabella, what happned to your foot?"

"Long story."

"OK...well, come on, guys! We've got a little boy to..." She turned back to Isabella, slightly confused. "Wait a second. You installed a computer chip in my little brother's skull? When he was little!"

"Yeah...hey, when you get a man, you do _not_ want to let him go!" Isabella said proudly, thinking about what life will be like when Phineas when they grow up. "Ain't nobody takin' my man away from me!"

"OK..." Candace turned to her fellow cadets & Spangler. "Alright, troops, we've got a missing boy on our hands, and a possible crazy man holding him hostage in a possibly abandoned building filled with failure and obsession. I must warn you guys, this will probably be our more dangerous mission yet. But for the sake of my little brother, failure is not an option! Now follow me!" She turned around and started to make her way up the street, but was stopped by a smug cadet who didn't think she knew what she was doing.

"Why should we follow _you?_" He exclaimed angrily, giving her some lip.

"Have _you_ever been to Danville? Have you ever seen the sights the town has to offer? Do _you _have a little brother who does crazy things every day like building a roller coaster or making a camera that splits an object into its original components!" (**Split Personality**)

"Uh...no."

"Then keep your mouth shut and let me talk, or I'll have Spangler demote you to toilet duty. Got me, punk?" She screamed at him. The boy kept his mouth closed and didn't even respond, scared of her. Everybody else, though, was surprised at how seriously Candace was taking this. "Good. Now, move out! Come on, go!" She shouted, pointing in the direction they needed to go. The troops, all wanting to avoid getting yelled at by Candace, obeyed and rushed in that direction, holding their weapons. "Move it! No slacking!"

Commandant Spangler was quite impressed with Candace's change in attitude. Everybody, even Linda, was impressed as well (though Linda was slightly less impressed than everybody else). "Well, looks like you've done a great job with my daughter." She finally admitted. She still didn't like the fact that her daughter was training in the military. But, she supported her regardless.

"Why thank you, Linda."

"While I don't exactly like the fact that she's with you right now, I'll support her with whatever she decides to do. As long as she doesn't go crazy like her father did."

"You meant she _wasn't_ before?" He asked, sort of jokingly, referring to how Candace was when she first started her training at the beginning of summer. Linda glared at him for a brief moment, but then conceded, realizing that he was almost completely right about that.

* * *

Meanwhile, down under, in the building of the O.W.C.A, Major Monogram was watching TV, minding his own business, while Carl was busy updating his website. Since all of the agents, with the exception of Perry, had the day off, they felt no need to check up on them. But that feeling changed for both of them when Monogram's screen went black, and then started flashing red. "What in the world?" It turns out that the red flashing means that an agent on duty has sent out a "Red Alert Distress Signal". That means that the agent is in a difficult situation and requires assistance.

"Is that the "Red Alert Distress Signal"?" Carl asked. "But the only agent on duty today is Agent P. And Dr. Doofenshmirtz isn't that much of a threat."

"Something else must be going on. Hold on." Monogram started typing some stuff in on his computer, and in no time at all, the screen turned to static, then went black. After that, a picture slowly started coming up, and the picture appeared to be moving around a little bit. "OK, I'm getting something."

"Sir, what are you doing?"

"I've hacked into Agent P's "Hat cam", a camera that I cleverly installed into his fedora the other day. If Agent P's been captured, we'll know where he's been taken to." The picture finally came up in its entirety, showing, from Perry's view, that he had been taken to the rooftop of a building. Of course, from where Perry was, they couldn't exactly make out the exact building. But since Dr. Doofenshmirtz had always been Perry's nemesis, they kinda had a good idea, and their suspicions were prove. "Great googly-moogly! It looks like Agent P's been captured by Doofenshmirtz!"

But just as they thought things couldn't get worse, they did. Perry turned his head weakly to his left, and so did the camera, showing them that Phineas had also been captured. "And it looks like Agent P's owner has been captured as well."

"Oh this is bad, Carl. Very, very bad. For one thing, that boy may or may not have discovered that his pet platypus is a top secret agent."

"And another thing, Doofenshmirtz might be threatening Agent P by using the boy as a scapegoat." Monogram turned around and looked at Carl strangely. He had never heard the word "Scapegoat" used in a sentence before. "What? Scapegoat? It's a word!"

"OK, then."

"So now what do we do?"

"Well, the way I see it, we have only one option." Monogram pressed some more buttons on his computer, then brought the microphone that was attached to the end of the table closer to him. "Calling all O.W.C.A. agents. We have a Code Red-Delta in progress. Agent captured, owner in hostage, & secret of the existance of the O.W.C.A threatened. You all must get over to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, find Agent P & his owner, and, if the owner should know about us, make sure his memory gets erased! Failure is not an option!" He hit a button to cut the communication.

"Sir, are you sure sending out all of our agents is a good idea?"

"What other choice do we have, Carl! Our future is at stake! Let's just pray that Agent P can find a way to escape whatever trap he's in before the other agents get there."

* * *

Speaking of Perry, he, along with Phineas, were still trapped in their upgraded "Self-Attaching Belts". They still struggled from time to time to get out, but spread out their attempts over time to avoid getting electrocuted. Only now, they were trapped on the room with Dr. Doofenshmirtz & Mr. Flynn, the latter walking to the edge of the platform, and looking straight up into the sky, embracing the beautiful air & the perfect sky. "Wonderful day for revenge, isn't it?" He remarked, to nobody in particular.

"I-I suppose so." Doofenshmirtz sheepishly answered anyway. "So...what are we doing up here anyway?"

"Yeah, I was wondering the same thing." Phineas barked up, his voice slightly weaker than before from the shocks.

"That, my dear boy, and Doofenshmirtz, is a secret. But I can tell you this much: You see, ever since I left my family all those years ago and I left the Tri-State Area, I have been plotting my ultimate revenge on the Tri-State Area. But I had a hard time coming up with a perfect plan. Finally, one day, while I was driving around in New York, and I came across a nuclear power plant, it finally hit me. Nuclear Waste. The very thing that nearly did me in. I was going to destroy the Tri-State Area with Nuclear Waste." Unfortunately, the way that he made it sound and the way everybody interpreted it was not the way Mr. Flynn planned to use it.

"Nuclear Waste?" Phineas asked. "But Dad, that was an accident."

"Yes, but everybody mocked me about it! And when I tried to tell my story, the news stations ridiculed me and called me a liar and a publicity hog. They wouldn't even let me show them the tattered skin to prove my point. When I tried to lift up my shirt to show my skin dissolving, they called the police, thinking I was trying to make a move on the female anchor. Even Mayor Doofenshmirtz mocked me! It was then that I decided to exact my revenge! So, I left town and decided to take a cross-country trip around America, visiting as many power plants as I could."

"I gathered as much waste as I could get my boney hands on. And, I've been storing them in a little box I like to call..." He pulled out a big computer screen, turned it on, and showed them a picture of a satellite that had a laser that was pointing down at the Earth. "My Super Satellite! I poured all of my collected waste into a compartment at the top of the satellite, then, I launched it into space - don't ask me how I accomplished that - just days ago, and I have aimed it at us. So at any time, I can activate my Satellite, then the Tri-State Area will feel the wrath of me, and will learn the dangers of mocking me!"

He started laughing maniacally, satisfied with his evil plan. Phineas, Perry, & Doofenshmirtz really didn't understand what exactly Mr. Flynn planned to accomplish, but all Phineas & Perry wanted to do was escape & get home. As Mr. Flynn was enjoying his laugh, he heard some faint shouting in the distance. "What is that annoying sound?" He questioned. He kneeled down to peer over the edge, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. He pulled out a small telescope and got a better look at the city below him. To the side of the building, he saw a big group of teenagers up the street, starting to make their way closer to them. "Wait a second..." And he got a closer look of the leading teen, and saw that it was Candace. "That's my daughter!"

"Candace?" Phineas questioned, almost estatic to hear that name.

"What is _she_ doing?" He exclaimed. "I can't let her penetrate the building. She'll ruin my plan!"

"Oh don't worry about that. I took extra precautions." Doofenshmirtz responded by jumping up and down twice on the roof. At first nothing happened, which made Mr. Flynn angry. But only a few more seconds later, a sturdy, 12 inch thick, 40 foot wall made of steel climbed up from underground, protecting the entire building, except for the roof, of course. Mr. Flynn observed this even happen, and was surprised that something of Doofenshmirtz's actually worked.

"Hey, what's going on?" Phineas asked, having heard the clanking that was the quick construction of the steel wall.

"You constructed this all by yourself?" Mr. Flynn asked.

"Yes. Yes I did. I call it the "Great Wall of Doofenshmirtz". What do you think?"

"Well...aside from the name, I must say, I'm very impressed. So, you can create a steel shield over the building, but you can't create a machine that produces paper!"

"Hey, don't judge me!"

Down on the ground, Candace and the others could see the wall quickly being built up to protect the building. "Wow! Where did _that_ come from?" Candace asked to nobody in particular. "It must be at least a foot thick!"

"How the heck are we gonna get up there now?" Tara asked, the problem seeming too insurmountable to overcome. But Candace was not one to give up so easily. She vowed that she was rescue Phineas if it was the last thing she did. "If I'm not mistaken, there is nothing on the wall that we can climb on to scale up the building."

"Well, we have to think of something! We can't just leave my brother up there."

"Why not?" The same voice that criticized Candace earlier barked up again. And once again, Candace wasn't impressed at all, and walked up to the boy.

"Would you leave _your_ little brother up there? Possible in danger?"

"Yeah! He's an annoying pest."

"That was a retorical question. Now keep your big mouth shut before I kick you off this squad! Got it, bub!" She screamed as loudly as she could. The thought of anybody hating her little brother or not wanting to make sure he was safe was something she would never tolerate, and the boy understood this immediately. Candace turned around back to the building. "Tara, do me a favor. If that bozo tries to get smart again, knock some sense into him."

"Yes, ma'am." Tara responded immediately.

"Now, how are we gonna get up there so we can rescue my brother?"

"I was gonna suggest we use some kind of grappling hook to get up there." One cadet piped up. "But then I noticed there's nothing for it to grab on to."

"Yeah, and on top of that, there's not nearly long enough rope for the hook to reach. There has to be some way for us to get up there and rescue Phineas. Come on, guys! Think!" She ordered as they all stopped for a moment to think of a way to climb up the steel wall and rescue Phineas. This task would prove to be much more difficult than anybody expected.

Meanwhile, back up on the roof, while Mr. Flynn was working on his plan, & Dr. Doofenshmirtz was watching, Phineas decided to have a little heart-to-heart with Perry. He turned to the platypus as best he could. Perry, though, didn't look back at him, fearful of what Phineas had to say. "So...you've been living a double life as a secret agent? A-And you fight this man who's supposed to be evil and who wants to take over the Tri-State Area?" Phineas wanted to make sure that he understood everything that he was told. But as he repeated these facts to Perry, he refused to look at Phineas.

Truth was, Perry was ashamed that he had to hide the fact that he was really a secret agent. But he knew that the risks were greater than the rewards for spilling it. "Come on, Perry. At least look at me. I know you can't talk. But at least let me know you're listening." Perry slowly turned his head towards Phineas, still feeling shame. "See? I'm not mad at you. After all, considering the situation we're in, I probably understand why you couldn't say anything before. I don't want you to go away. I don't want you to be relocated."

As time passed, and the years that Phineas owned Perry went by, Phineas was able to slowly understand what Perry says when he makes his growling noises. For instance, Perry made a growling noise after Phineas finished talking, and Phineas could instantly understand what he meant. _Well, that's probably what is going to happen if we get out of this._

"I wish there was a way where I'd be able to keep you even though I know your secret now."

Perry growled again. _There may be. But I'll have to talk with my boss about it._

"OK, then. So...Isabella's dog, Pinky...he's a secret agent too?"

Up by the edge of the platform, Mr. Flynn was busy with his little computer making some last-minute adjustments to the satellite that he had launched into space filled with nuclear waste. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was also helping him, but he got distracted from time to time by Perry's growls. "Boy, I wish I understood platypus. Do you have any idea what he is saying?"

"No, but it doesn't really matter." He said malevolently, pressing one final key on his keypad, and taking a step back. "Because in just 10 minutes, the Tri-State Area will have met its match! Nothing will be able to stop me from getting my revenge! Especially that traitor who I used to call my wife!"

"Easy, man. So she didn't believe you when you tried to tell her of a life-threatening condition. Get over it!" Doofenshmirtz urged him.

"Why should I? Back then, ff she told me she had a stomach ache, I would've scrambled to get her to the hospital. But now, I wouldn't even spit in her face."

"Eww. Why would you _want_ to do that?"

"I don't." He turned back to his son, who had stopped struggling at this point. "You know, Phineas. You should consider yourself lucky. In just a few minutes, you are going to see the dawn of a new age."

"Dad, I don't have the slightest idea of what you mean by that, but I just want you to know that I approve of none of this!"

"I understand, son. I didn't think you would. But then, you're in no position to do anything about it. Remember, should you try to escape, the electrode will unleash a powerful electric shock that will rock your world."

"I know that!"

Down below on the ground, while the group of cadets were trying to think of a way to reach the top of the building to save Phineas, another group of people, this time, consisting of the kids & adults of Maple Drive, as well as Spangler, were seen running up the street towards the cadets. "Candace!" Isabella yelled, making her way up the street as quickly as her arms would let her move her crutches.

"Guys, what are you doing here?" Candace yelled, but not loudly enough to draw unwanted attention to herself. "I thought you'd be back at home, waiting for us to bring Phineas home."

"I still say this is a waste of time!" The same cadet who shunned Phineas earlier barked up again, prompting Tara to slap him upside his head.

"You didn't think we'd miss a chance for a rescue mission did you?" Irving inquired.

"Or for a chance to see my sister again." Ferb perked up, sparking "aww's" from the crowd of people.

"I don't care if he _is_ your dad." Isabella yelled, adrenaline rising with every minute. "He is going to PAY for stealing my future husband! No one is gonna get in the way of my dream of marrying him!"

"Whoa, Isabella. Calm down."

"Calm down! How can I calm down when the boy I love so dearly is being held hostage by a man who used to be married to your mother!"

"I don't know. But try, because I don't want you freaking out like that when we get up there."

"How are we going to get up there anyway?"

"I'm not sure. We're trying to figure that out, actually. Our first idea was to use grappling hooks to climb up to the roof. But, there's nothing that we can attach our hooks to, since there's nothing on that steel wall to attach to. I don't suppose you got any ideas."

"Nope. I mean, it's not like we can just build a portable elevator that'll rise up 40 stories and get us to the top." Isabella said this sarcastically, not really meaning that. But, once she stopped, and thought about it for a moment, she believed that the idea could actually work. "Hey..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second, Isabella? How are we going to build a portable elevator that will take us up to the top of the building?"

"Hey, I haven't though about all the details yet. I did say it sarcastically, in case you didn't know. So now we just have to draw up a blue print to use to build our elevating platform or something along those lines." Isabella turned to Ferb. "Hey Ferb, you have anything off the top of your head?"

As a matter of fact, Ferb did. He pulled out a blue print for a rising platform and handed it to the girls to read. "Whoa, Ferb. This is amazing."

"We were going to build that next week." He said calmly.

"What are we waiting for, then? Let's get to work!" Candace shouted.

"But we don't have any of the supplies." Irving noted, seeing no delivery trucks near by and absolutely nothing they could work with. "How the heck are we supposed to build this contraption if we don't have any supplies!"

"You leave that to me." Ferb said again, taking out a cellphone and dialing a few numbers in. He refused to give up hope that they were get Phineas back home safely, and now it was a matter of getting the proper supplies for their invention, and it was a matter of getting the invention built before Mr. Flynn unleashed his evil plan.

* * *

Up on the rooftop, Mr. Flynn was watching the clock on his computer screen countdown, counting down to the activation of his satellite. "Only 7 more minutes." He said evily to himself. "Then...the entire Tri-State Area will feel my wrath, and they will all regret the day they ever decided to mock me! I will have me...wait a minute." His eye caught some action on the ground. "What are they doing down there?" He saw some delivery trucks pulling on right beside the kids, supplies being wheeled out, and cadets being ordered around.

"What's with the delivery trucks?" Doofenshmirtz questioned. "It's like they're having a party or something."

_Delivery trucks?_ Phineas thought to himself. _My friends...they must be here, too, trying to figure out a way to rescue me and Perry._

"For my sake, they better be holding a party. I will not have my perfect plan ruined by some snot-nosed brats, even if they are my son's friends.""

"Hey, don't talk about my friends that way!" The only thing that angered Phineas more than anything was when people talked down on his friends like Mr. Flynn just did.

"Silence, boy!" But Mr. Flynn wouldn't take back talk. He pulled out his remote, pressed a button, and unleashed an even stronger electric shock on Perry & Phineas, the latter screaming his head off as he took the damage.

Meanwhile, down on the ground, everybody could hear Phineas screaming. Candace looked up and could faintly see the lightning bolts coming from the electrodes that encased the platypus & the boy. "Whoa! Did anybody else see that lightning?"

"And hear that awful screaming!" Django pointed out, crossing his arms.

"They must be torturing Phineas with whatever they're doing up there." Linda said, with tears slowly forming in her eyes. Lawrence had to bring her close to him to keep her from going hysterical. "Oh, my poor baby!"

"Don't fret, Linda. We'll get him away from there and back to us where he belongs before you know it."

"Then let's stop wasting time and get this platform built! Who knows what they're planning to do next!" Isabella shouted, which prompted everybody around her to start hustling around to get the job done. Everyone quickly got organized, and, with everybody, even the parents, cooperating, they were able to finish the platform in just minutes. It was 10 feet wide by 12 feet long, and it was able to fit about 15 people on it at a time. "And...done!"

"Finally, it's finished." Tara remarked, wiping sweat from her brow. "And it only took 4 1/2 minutes and $30,000 worth of supplies."

"This is our cheapest project ever." Ferb remarked.

"Now, it can only fit up to 15 people at a time. So, we need to figure out who is going to go up there first to rescue Phineas. Candace," Isabella turned to Candace. "Why don't you and your...friends here, go up and get Phineas out of there?"

"Why us?" The same guy that's been giving Candace trouble so far barked up again, prompting Candace to order Tara to smack him upside the head. "What? I'm just saying..." Another smack. "Hey, that-" Another smack. "If you just let me-" Another smack. "I'll be quiet." He stayed silent for the rest of the procedure.

"Alright, guys. Line up on the platform. We've got a boy to rescue! Charge!" She shouted, as 14 other cadets, including Tara, charged onto the platform with their weapons, yelling "Charge!"

The commotion down on the ground caused Mr. Flynn to turn away from the sky, a sky that was only now being slowly covered in clouds. "What's that?" He rushed over to the side of the building and saw the platform slowly rising. "What in heavens! They've built a self-rising platform and are coming up to rescue their beloved friend. Well, they'll have to get through ME first!" He shouted, running back to his mini computer.

"What are you doing now?" Doofenshmirtz questioned again, curious with the constant running back and forth Mr. Flynn was doing.

"I'm going to speed up the countdown. It's time for the Tri-State Area..." He typed on some more keys on his keypad, then pressed on more, and suddenly, the clock, already at 3:30, began counting down rapidly. "...to pay!" The clock was already past 3 minutes within a heartbeat. The clouds continued to roll in as Mr. Flynn started laughing maniacally. The platform rose all the way up to the rooftop, and Candace, along with her troop members, jumped off onto the roof. Candace gasped upon hearing the laughter, recognizing immediately who it came from.

"Dad!" She shrilled, causing him to turn around briskly. At the sight of his daughter up close, he gasped as well. "What are _you_ doing here!"

"Candace. You...You look so grown up." The last time Mr. Flynn had ever actually seen Candace up close was when he was about to leave, back when she was about 9 years old. "It's been so long."

"B-But...But Mom...sh-she told me you were dead."

"She did what! Oh, that's the last straw! Linda Flynn, you are so dead!" He screamed as the timer on the screen hit 0.

Candace looked to her side and saw Phineas & Perry bound by their belts, the latter looking a bit pale. "Oh my gosh! Phineas!"

"Candace!" Phineas shouted in delight and surprise as she rushed over to help him out, but found that getting either of the two out of their traps would be difficult.

"What's going on? Why does Dad have you and Perry tied up like this? And why is Perry wearing that silly hat?" Perry growled loudly, taking that as an insult.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain. You see-"

"Then don't explain it." Mr. Flynn said strongly as the satellite fired from space, and shot down over 5,000 gallons of pure, untainted nuclear waste...onto Mr. Flynn. In no time at all, it splattered all over him, covering him from head to toe in nuclear waste. Everybody on the rooftop gasped, as did everybody who came up on the second platform trip, including the kids, Spangerl, Vivian, Lawrence, & Linda. The only one who didn't gasp was Linda. She did seem surprised, though.

"Who's the loser covered in waste?" She asked coldly, while everybody turned to stare at her angrily, feeling that she showed no sympathy at all.

"Why, Linda, you're not happy to see me?" Mr. Flynn said viciously, and only then did Linda gasp.

"Jerry? Is that you?"

"No, I'm the Muffin Man. Yes, it's me, you idiot!" His patience was quickly wearing thin with her. He clentched his fists angrily; they started faintly glowing purple, and nobody noticed.

"Mom!" Candace shouted in a mad tone as Isabella and the rest of the kids as well as some of the cadets worked feverishly to get Phineas & Perry free. "I can't believe you would stoop so low as to tell me that my own father had been dead for over 6 years!"

"She told you _that_!" Phineas barked up. "She told me that Dad had lost his mind and had gone to live in the circus!"

"WHAT?" By now, Mr. Flynn was furious. The glowing aura around his hands had changed from purple to blue. "Why you..."

"Now, Jerry, I know you're upset-"

"Upset! No, I'm furious! Linda, you told our own children complete and utter lies!"

"Well, I-I wouldn't have had to lie to them and kick you out if YOU hadn't told lies in the first place."

"I wasn't lying! ANd I'll prove it!" Without any thought, his hands stopped glowing temporarily as he rolled up both his sleeves and showed his boney arms. Everybody but Phineas, Doofenshmirtz, & Linda screamed and gasped at the sight. Many were disgusted, some were confused, but Linda...Linda was not amused. She jumped off the platform, shook her head, walked up to him, and put her hands on her hips.

"Really? That charade again?"

"What?"

"Jerry, your lies are really getting aggrivating, now. This is why I kicked you out in the first place! You tried to blame our kids and brainwash me into thinking that they spilled nuclear waste on you, which caused your..." She reached out to grab his arm hard, only to feel nothing but bone. Her grip loosened and her speech slowed. "arms to lose their...skin texture, leaving only bone and...oh my god!" She took her hand away and gasped, tears quickly forming in her eyes. "You were...You were telling the truth this whole time! And to think that the week before you left, I spent all of my time torturing you and making you feel miserable!"

"What are you talking about, Linda?" Lawrence asked.

Linda turned back to everyone. "The week before Jerry left, right after he said that he had been affected by the waste, and I didn't believe him, I decided to mess with him."

"How?"

"She put roaches & ants in all my meals," Mr. Flynn began, his hands beginning to glow blue again. "She made me take nothing but cold showers, and I couldn't get a minute of quality bed rest without having to listen to her talk in her sleep!" His hands were now glowing bright green.

"You mean it was a problem back then, too?" Ferb asked.

"Well, actually, I was merely pretending back then." Linda piped up, but, unfortunately for her, nobody bought it.

"Pretend?" Candace snorted, to which Lawrence agreed immediately. "That's the biggest lie you've ever told, Mom!"

"Alright, Candace. Enough!"

"Don't you dare yell at the kids, you big, fat obnoxious cow!" Mr. Flynn snarled at Linda, the aura around his hands changing from bright green to yellow. Linda took immediate note of this.

"Uh, Jerry, your hands...they're-"

"Quiet! I'm not done yet!"

"Jerry, please forgive me. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you and that I called you crazy. I-I guess...I don't know how to explain it!"

"I guess all your brain cells have traveled South for the winter, huh?" He joked, nudging his elbow into hers. At first, she didn't understand the joke. But when she looked down at her own waist, she knew exactly what he meant, and so did everybody else.

"I'm not fat!"

"Are you kidding! Do you own a mirror! Have you seen your own waist! I-"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!" Candace intervened. "Wait a minute. Now Dad, I know that you and Mom don't really like each other."

"I despise this woman with every fiber that's left of my being!" He screamed, his hands beginning to change color again, this time, from yellow to orange.

"But you can't hold a grudge like this forever. I know what that's like. For years, I used to hold a strong grudge against Phineas, Ferb, & my Mom."

"You didn't like her either?"

"It wasn't exactly like that...see for years, Phineas & Ferb would do all these crazy things like building a boat of romance, traveling through time, going up into space, and making a unique and logic defying amalgam of Winter and Summer. They even traveled around the entire world in one day!"

"Which I thought was impossible." Buford randomly pointed out.

"I would also try to tell Mom about these. But every time I'd bring her to the scene, whatever they were working on would just disappear, mainly because either she'd move way too slowly or from an outside force."

_So it is Perry's fault that all of our stuff disappears. _Phineas thought to himself, looking in Perry's direction.

"But after a while, and after a lot of ordeals, which I won't go into detail about, I finally realized that I was wasting my life obsessing over what my brothers were doing or trying to convince my mom that I wasn't crazy. I realized that I should just live life as it is, and take whatever comes at me with a smile. And I think you should do the same, too. You need to forget about your troubles with Mom. If you spend your whole life thinking that our mom is a heartless woman, you'll never move on."

Everybody on the rooftop, even Mr. Flynn, thought that the speech Candace had given was inspiring. They were all impressed with how far Candace had come since the beginning of the summer. "That was very inspiring, Candace." Mr. Flynn said proudly. "You've obviously come a long way, and I couldn't be more proud. And you're right. Your mother isn't heartless. She's just dumb." And then he broke out into laughter for a quick moment, the only one to do so. And this lasted only a short time. "And for that, she must pay!" He shouted as he put his hands, now glowing red, out, and to everybody's shock, he shot out red energy bursts from his hands, knocking Linda back several feet, doing her much damage.

Everybody gasped, and Vivian & Lawrence even rushed to her aide. Then, all eyes turned back to Mr. Flynn, as a helicopter, that was filled with every one of the O.W.C.A's agents from all divisions, passed over them while the sky turned pitch gray. "Oh, and by the way, I knew my hands were glowing the whole time. This was my plan from the start!"

"It was?" Doofenshmirtz asked surprised by this revelation.

"Yes. You see, after I left and went on my own, it hit me. The reason why my skin burned was because the nuclear waste Phineas & I found was contaminated. I mean, it made sense. We were in the sewers after all. So, I figured "If tainted waste did this to me, what would pure, untainted waste do?" So I decided to go across the country, collecting only the purest, cleanest nuclear waste I could find. Then, I spent these past few years stocking my space satellite up with it to use on this very day."

"And as a result from the pure waste, you did the impossible...you acquired super natural abilities!" Isabella shouted out, having figured out what had happened.

"You catch on, quickly, little girl."

"So you were never planning to cover the Tri-State Area with nuclear waste, were you?" Phineas asked, still confused.

"Is that what you thought? Oh, no. I could never do that. It wouldn't work, anyway. Only nano-bots work like that. And besides..." He cackled. "This is much more fun. And now, I am going to do what I've set out to do for years: get my revenge on the Tri-State Area! But then...what's the fun in taking over a Tri-State Area..." He held his hands up to the helicopter above them, and shot out light pink energy blasts.

Pretty soon, they all saw the animals that were in the copter jump out and parachute down onto the roof, with their eyes glowing light pink. They were all under a hypnotic spell that Mr. Flynn cast them under. With his new found superpowers, he also gained the ability to take control of somebody's mind and make that person/animal his slave. "...without some help. In fact, why don't you join us, Perry?" He shot a light pink blast at Perry, and pretty soon, he was under Mr. Flynn's control. The platypus turned to Phineas and growled like a feral beast.

"P-Perry?" Phineas slowly stepped back, not wanting to become injured from his own pet.

"Pinky!" Isabella screamed, seeing her beloved Chihuahua also under Mr. Flynn's influence. All of the agents were wearing hats like Perry was, but, nobody questioned that, as they were all too stunned at what was currently happening. "What have you done, you fiend?"

"Ahh, my first "You fiend"." He said with a rather mellow tone. "Why, Isabella, I've made all of these animals my mindless slaves."

"You can do that?" Baljeet called out.

"Yes. Yes I can. And it doesn't work just on animals. Observe..." He held out his hand to Candace's face, and shot her a light pink blast. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. But then she opened them, now under his hypnotic spell as well. It was visible in her eyes as well; the outer part of the eye, the white part, turned light pink, just like the animals. "Candace, how would you like to take over the Tri-State Area and watch every one of your former friends suffer?"

"It would be a dream come true, master." She responded, her regular voice still retained, though its tone had changed dramatically, to the shock and dismay of her fellow cadets and Commandant Spangler.

"Let's see what your cadets think." He shot light pink bursts at her troop members as well as Spangler, and all the other troops that were still waiting on the ground.

"Your wish is our command, master." They all said in unison, even going as far as saluting him.

"Ha! I knew it! And now, with my own army..." Suddenly, lightning struck down from the skies. "Nothing will stop me from destroying the Tri-State Area! And now, there's just one final touch missing from this..." He took out two small black cubes and placed them onto the ground. Crushing them beneath his feet, he stuck his arms out to the side, and waited as the two cubes slowly transformed into a black, titanium suit that attached to his body. It formed from his feet, and it slowly went up his body, until it finally covered every part, encasing him in pure, black titanium. The only thing exposed was his head, and the back of it was even covered by a helmet.

He floated up into the air, with help from rockets installed into his feet that prepelled him. He turned back to everyone. "Everybody, I give you...my Super Human Super Suit 3000! This was originally meant to be used as a protective suit, but now...I'm using it to enhance my newly acquired powers ten fold! Just watch..." He held out his hands, and shot a green energy blast at the building, not only destroying the building itself, but the steel wall that covered it, and it also caused everyone to sink down with the rubble. All Mr. Flynn felt like doing was laughing evil as he watched everybody scream and suffer. His minions, however, escaped without a single scratch.

When all was said and done, everybody that did not escape was trapped under the rubble of what used to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, and that included Dr. Doofenshmitz. "Now you'll all think twice before mocking me ever again!" He said floating in the air, with his minions on the ground. He slowly floated back down to Earth, laughing. "Now, it's time for us to claim this Tri-State Area for ourselves! Now, my minions...CHARGE!" He shouted, as he and his minions marched deep into the Tri-State Area, all of them with one thought: taking over the Tri-State Area. Nobody was standing in their way, and nobody dared to challenge them, lest they met a terrible fate.

The only people who stood a chance at stopping Mr. Flynn and his army of mind-controlled slaves were lying under a pile of rubble, hanging on for dear life.

_**To be continued...**_

**End of Episode 30!**

**Wow! Is that a plot twist or what! Hope you like it!**

**Next Time: Can the Tri-State Area survive the wrath of Jerry Flynn & his new army of minions? Can anybody stop him before it's too late? And what will happen to Perry? Will he be relocated, or will he get to stay with Phineas & Ferb?**

**Expected Update: Since I go back to school on September 7th, but I get September 9th & 10th off because of a Jewish holiday, I'll aim for one of those days to update. But again, no guarentees.**


	39. 31: Trial By Warfare Part 4

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 31: Trial By Warfare Part IV**

**Episode Summary: Part 4 of a new 4 part special event. A new & improved Mr. Flynn has left his former friends & family under rubble, and has taken over the Tri-State Area. With his new army under his belt, consisting of all O.W.C.A. agents, & Candace's cadet group, it seems that there is no way he can be stopped. How will Phineas, Ferb, & the rest of the gang get out of this situation? And what in the world is going to happen to Perry?**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_In the center of the Tri-State Area, there once lay a building. A building where evil would take place. A building where a mad scientist attempts and fails on a regular basis to defeat a platypus for a nemesis, and take over the Tri-State Area to call his own. That building, a tall building known as Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, no longer stands. In its place it left a large pile of rubble. A large pile of rubble that encased many small children & adults, one of which was already suffering from an injury.

Under the rubble, Phineas was moving erratically in a desperate attempt to escape the rubble. His faint grunts of struggle and desperation could be heard even under all the rocks. He pushed nearly 10 tons of rocks out of his way just to escape, and when he finally did, he could not have been happier to take a fresh breath of air. Unfortunately, he was so tired he has to gasp for it. "Finally...I made it out." He said in between gasps. "Now to find the others."

As soon as he regained his breath, he wasted no time in turning around to dig his friends & family out. It was exhausting having to move many tons of rocks, but with the very little strength he had, he managed to do so. The first one he got out was his stepbrother, Ferb. "Ferb!" He shouted, pulling his brother out. Once his stepbrother was safely out, more rubble started moving out of the way on its own. Some of the others were trying to get themselves out.

It was less of a burden on Phineas, but he still fought hard to get his friends out, and after a wagon-load of effort on his part, which took about 15 minutes, everybody was out of the debree and safely back out, including Dr. Doofenshmirtz. The first thing they did was take a good look around at the Tri-State Area. Their jaws dropped upon seeing what had happened. The skies were pitch black, covered in clouds, many buildings were destroyed & cracked, people were running for cover, and the ground was practically cracked into pieces.

"Whoa...what happened here?" Phineas questioned.

"It looks like we got hit with another Earthquake." Isabella said, noting the cracks in the ground. What she didn't account for was Mr. Flynn slowly hovering back down onto the ground from the sky, with his mind-controlled army running up behind him.

"You like what I've done?" He asked them, his voice having becoming evil, compared to what it was earlier, though still retaining his Adam West-like tone.

"You...you monster!" Phineas shouted, taking note of all damage done. "You've...You've destroyed the entire town."

"Not the entire town. I've left some buildings in tact, and I'm sure there are still some green trees left."

"How can you sleep at night!" Isabella shrieked, walking slowly on her crutches closer to him.

"Simple. I drink a warm glass of milk. Boy, it's amazing what 3 hours can do for you when you have super powers, a power suit, and an army backing you up."

"3 hours? We've been trapped under this rubble for that long?" Phineas checked his watch, and saw that it was close to 4 PM. "Wow, it's almost dinnertime. Time flies when you're trapped under 15 tons of rocks."

"Don't get too comfortable, kid. Once I'm through here, I'm on my way to City Hall to take total control of the Tri-State Area away from Mayor Doofenshmirtz. This town will be eating out of my hands before you know it."

"Ha! You think you can take control of the Tri-State Area from my brother!" Doofenshmirtz laughed. "If anyone knows enough about the Tri-State Area to properly run it, it's my brother, Roger."

"I don't think so." Holly argued. "He wanted to shut down all search parties for Phineas after only 6 hours."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah, and it wasn't because of budet cuts. It's because he's a big jerk!" Melissa said, putting her hands on her hips angrily.

"Oh, I don't think Roger's a jerk. He's more...dim-witted. I mean, I'm a goofball, but I think I have a little bit more common sense than him."

"Then it should be a simple task for me to take control away from him." Mr. Flynn barged in. "In the meantime," He snapped his fingers, and his army of military cadets & agent animals, leaped out from behind him, took their ground, and eyed each and every one of them. "Have fun with my friends." He took off for the skies as he laughed, and before he was completely out of sight, he stopped briefly, and gave the gang a taste of another one of his new abilities: the ability to shoot lightning bolts from his hands. He shot one from each hand, and nearly struck them all. Instead, he hit the debree that once was Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. "So long, suckers!" He cackled, leaving his army to deal with the others.

They all started slowly approaching the gang. "Um, hey guys?" Phineas tried to reason with them. "W-We don't need to get violent, here. T-There are lots of other ways to settle our differences. Like-"

"Oh put a sock it in, pointy nose!" Candace hissed at him. "I've had just about enough of your irritating voice!"

"Candace, what has gotten into you?" Linda wondered.

"Don't you remember, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher?" Isabella began explaining to her. "Mr. Flynn put her and her friends under a spell that makes them think they're his minions."

"I knew _that_ Isabella. I just thought that Candace had a stronger will than that, and that she cared for Phineas as much as she said she did."

"Hey, she still cares about me." Phineas retorted. "She's just under some sort of spell."

"Spell! Is that what you think? That I'm under a spell?" Candace snorted loudly and laughed. "That is ridiculous! That's probably the dumbest thing you've ever said!"

"W-What? But I thought..."

"The Master didn't put me under a spell. He opened my eyes to the truth." The pink glow around her eyes grew stronger.

"What are you talking about?"

"My life before The Master was going nowhere, and I was wasting my time with things such as friends & romance." What Candace didn't know was that Stacy & Jeremy, who saw the destruction & had raced to Doofenshmirtz's lair to help rescue Phineas, were right behind her. "The only thing that matters in this life is taking what you want and never having to apologize."

"And that's what we're going to do." Tara, Candace's roommate, remarked, also under a spell. "We are going to assistant The Master in taking over this pathetic excuse for a Tri-State Area."

"And when we're done, we'll move on to the next Tri-State Area, and the next, and then the next! Never again will I have to deal with that horrible excuse for a friend named Stacy, or that ugly, unattractive excuse for a boy named Jeremy!" Candace cakled, Stacy & Jeremy both dropping their jaws. They couldn't believe what they had heard. Then again, they did see what had happened earlier.

"Candace!" Jeremy shrieked, causing the girl to turn around. She was most surprised to see her two former best friend standing there, but she laughed anyway. "What has gotten into you!"

"Jeremy, it's not what you think. It's-" Phineas tried quickly to explain, but Candace rudely interrupted.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the stupid and annoying Hirano girl and her unattractive & boring boyfriend, blondie!" Her voice was visibly changing, becoming much more evil.

"C-Candace? It's me, Stacy. Your best friend."

"The only friends I have now are the ones standing behind me who all listen to The Master."

"Who's "The Master?" Jeremy questioned.

"That would be me, punk." Mr. Flynn answered in a very deep & deceptive voice.

"Who are you?"

"I'm...her father." Both teenagers gasped. Candace never mentioned her dad to either of them, so they just assumed he was dead. The unfortunate case, though, was that Candace had always thought he was dead as well. "And _your_ worst nightmare." He held out his hands and shot green energy blasts at them, knocking them to the ground.

"What happened to you! I thought normal humans couldn't do that?"

"They can't. But _I'm_ not a normal human. Now, stay out of our way unless you want another dosage of my power! Now if you will all excuse me, I have some pressing matters to attend to." He turned away from everybody and prepared to fly off.

"You heard The Master. Move out!" Assuming that she meant all of them, Candace called for everybody to follow Mr. Flynn. But he had another idea for them.

"Not so fast!" He called, quickly stopping everybody, including the animals, in their tracks. "Animals! You follow me. Cadets, you stay here and deal with this pest infestation!" He ordered. The animals all turned on their jet packs and followed Mr. Flynn as he flew off towards City Hall to comfort Mayor Doofenshmirtz. The cadets were all left to deal with Phineas, Ferb, & everybody else. The rest of the cadets dealt with them, while Candace dealt with Stacy & Jeremy. Without warning, every single cadet lunged at their target, and started beating on their targets.

Candace was especially rough on her targets. "Candace, get a hold of yourself!" Jeremy shouted, trying to talk some sense into her. "It's us! Your friends, Jeremy & Stacy!"

"I already told you who my friends are! And I don't like to repeat myself!" She snarled into his face.

And as bad as Stacy & Jeremy had it, the others were even worse off. Each of the cadets grabbed one of two of whoever was left, and started pummling on them. Phineas was being attacked by Tara, and seemed like the worst off, since he was getting the majority of the beatings. The cadets were all over the place, and quickly & often, they would trade places and start beating on different people. After about the 3rd trade, Phineas decided that enough was enough. He decided to buy himself some time. So, he took out a small, golen pocket watch-like device, pressed the top button, and in seconds, time stopped before him.

With everything frozen, he seized this opportunity to get everybody out of the way. It took a lot of strength, a lot of sweat, and a lot of time. But, after all the struggles, he was able to drag everybody by their shirts and pull them back to Maple Drive. Before he collapsed from exhaustion, he activated his device and returned everybody to regular time.

"Please, please stop beating me up! I'm too pretty for this!" Stacy yelled, still in a fetal position. When she realized that there was nobody there pouncing on her, she proceeded to uncurl herself out of the fetal position, as did everybody else as they slowly realized that there was no one hurting them. "Wait, where did they all go?" She questioned, having no knowledge of what had happened.

"Phineas!" Isabella shrieked, noticing the exhausted Phineas lying on the ground. The boy's eyes were only half-open, as he was worn out from dragging everybody out of the mess. "Oh my gosh!" She jumped to his aide. Literally, she jumped. Since she couldn't walk, she put her crutches down and jumped, landing right next to him. She was able to get onto her knees and help him out. "Are you OK? Say something!"

"I'm...I'm fine, Isabella." He managed to mutter, turning his head in her direction.

"But how were you able to pull us all out of there on your own?" It was then that she noticed the time-stopping device in Phineas's hand. "Wait a minute..."

"What? What's going on?" Linda started frantically asking, and was urged by Lawrence to calm down.

"You used your time-stopping device to stop them from hurting us and then you pulled us all to safety, didn't you?"

"Yes. Yes I did." He answered with a small cough.

"Time-stopping device? But isn't it impossible to stop time?" Linda inquired again.

"That's what they said about traveling all over the world in one day. But we did that, too."

"But I thought that device was destroyed when somehow, it malfunctioned and sent us into that parallel universe." Ferb said, recounting the time earlier in the summer where their attempt to make a summer day last as long as possible backfired and they ended up in a parallel universe where Baljeet was a bully, Buford was a nerd, Perry was an evil villain (they didn't know that) and Isabella was in love with Ferb.

"It did. I built another one."

"Wait a minute! You managed to stop time?" Doofenshmirtz was amazed at what Phineas & Ferb were able to do. "Oh, man, even little kids are doing better than me. My time-stopping device failed too. Hmm, maybe, just somehow, the both of us activated our devices at the exact same time and that's what caused the ripple in the Time-Space Continnum."

Phineas & Ferb pondered on this for a long moment. The thought had not crossed their minds until now. And even though it was exactly what happened... "No, I don't think so." Phineas didn't really believe it.

"I still can't believe you were able to pull us all out of that jam." Jeremy said, complimenting Phineas on something he thought was practically impossible for anybody to do: pull nearly 20 people out of a situation that involved violence with just bare hands. "We totally owe you one, man."

"No need. You would've all done the same for me. Now come on. Let's get inside before those crazy maniacs spot us!"

* * *

So everybody, except for Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who, for no apparent reason, had decided to run for the hills instead, managed to get into the Flynn-Fletcher home, which was still in tact. It was one of only a few homes to still be completely in tact. But that didn't stop the mind-controlled cadets from barging up on the streets in search of them.

"Where are they!" Candace shrieked, dismayed that Phineas & the rest of them had gotten away so quickly without so much as a warning.

"They have to be around here somewhere!" Tara barked, her rage growing. "They wouldn't just leave Danville like that. Don't worry, we'll find them."

"We'd better find them!" Candace growled. "The Master isn't going to be happy with us if he finds out they got away! So we'll have to make sure we find that boy & his stupid, British brother before he finds out! COME ON!" She screamed, as they all ran off down the street, in search of Phineas & Ferb. Meanwhile, everybody was in the house, hiding from the outside, hoping that it would stay that way.

Phineas was resting on the couch since pulling everybody to safety had taken a lot of energy out of him. Lawrence brought him a big glass of water. "Thanks, dad." And he took a big sip of it, drinking almost half of the glass in one shot.

"So, we're trapped in this house, hiding from your deranged father who has somehow become an evil madman with no way of stopping him and his army that consists of your older sister." Baljeet recounted the events that had happened in the day so far. "What else can go wrong?"

_Not to mention the fact that I found out my pet platypus is a secret agent. _Phineas thought, sipping more water. "I don't know, Baljeet. Not much, I bet."

"I say we end that guy's reign of terror before it begins!" Buford shouted, raising his fist into the air.

"But how? I mean, with his new powers & that awesome suit of his, he seems virtually unstoppable. I mean, he was only with us for a few minutes, so I doubt any of us were able to get a good enough reading on him, so we can't really do anything with it."

"I wouldn't say that." Isabella said taking out a note pad she had apparently been using for some time now.

"Why not?"

"Well, while he was attacking us on that rooftop, I was able to take some good notes on the abilities he was using." She walked up on her crutches to the boy and handed him her notepad. "For example, I noticed that every time he used an energy blast on somebody, the blasts would vary in color."

"Alright..."

"And it seems that the different colored blasts reflects the amount of damage done. So, based on my analysis, and under the assumption that his energy blast colors range from purple to red, I estimate that his purple blasts as his weakest and his red blasts are his strongest."

"Well, that's good to know."

"And I was able to use this..." Ferb pulled out a little scanner as he approached Phineas. "To get a complete analysis of his suit so in a few moments, once the machine's done processing it, we'll know how it works."

"Right...and then we'd be able to use its secret to maybe come up with a way to stop him."

"In the meantime, what should we do?" Irving asked. "We can't hide in this house forever. We're gonna have to leave sometime."

"Yeah, and when we do, that guy's army of crazy teenagers will be all over us. We could be chewed up alive." Adyson pointed out, the concern visible on her face. "I am certainly not going out there again."

"One of us is going to have to go out there, though. Otherwise, nobody is going to stop that maniac."

Ferb's scanner beeped a few times, indicating that the analysis on Mr. Flynn's suit and his person was complete. The scanner had a complete breakdown on the contents of the suit, and the conents of Mr. Flynn's new superpowered body. "Looks like the anaylsis is complete."

"Awesome. Now, we can reverse engineer it and make a smaller version of the suit, so hopefully, we'll be able to copy all of his powers and turn them on him." Isabella said confidently. "OK, everybody. Let's get to work!"

* * *

Meanwhile, down at City Hall, Mr. Flynn was busy with a dilema of his own. Even though his animal army had captured Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz & had him tied up in his office, he was still acting stubborn & refusing to give up control. "So...Mayor Doofenshmirtz, let me see if I understand you correctly." Mr. Flynn hissed, slowly hovering to the Mayor. "I have a bunch of animals surrounding you, a man who is tied up in his chair with no mobility at all, about to be taken down by me, a man who has turned into a superpowered devil...and yet you still refuse to give the city to me. Is that correct?"

"Yes! You can tie me up, torture me, lock me in a closet with Helen Keller...I don't care! You won't force control away from me!" He shouted back, showing as much fight as he could. Perry, Pinky, & several other agents closed in on him.

"Now, don't say that. After all, I can be very persuasive." His army closed on him even more. "And I know just how to do it." He snapped his fingers, and two more of his animal agents came in through the door bringing in Vanessa Doofenshmirtz in their grip.

"Vanessa!" Mayor Doofenshmirtz instantly recognized his niece.

"Uncle Roger..." She said, struggling to escape their grip. "What's going on!"

"I-I don't know."

"I'll tell you what's going on, my dear." Mr. Flynn barked up, hovering towards Vanessa. "A new age is upon us. And it starts with me seizing control of the city from your father!"

"What? He's not my father. He's my Uncle!"

"Really? OH, that's funny. I could've swon he was." _Then that means that goofy, hunched-over loser of a scientist is this girl's father. Jeez, I can see why she went goth. _"Well, regardless, I'm still going to get the city from him."

"Over my dead body!" The Mayor growledd, refusing to give up so easily.

"That _can_ be arranged, you know." Mr. Flynn held out his hand & shot a yellow blast at him, knocking the Mayor out of his chair and towards the wall, where his army closed in on him. "Now, what was that you were saying about "your dead body"?"

"Uh, now let's not be irrational, here. I-I'm sure we can all work something out that lets us all get what we want."

"I was just thinking the same thing..."

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, things were beginning to boil up as well. The kids had began on constructing the miniature version of Mr. Flynn's super suit. It took over an hour of hard work & supplies to get the job done, especially while one man down. (Isabella wouldn't let Phineas do anything since she believed he still needed to recover from pulling them all out single-handidly, which he was)

But the hard work did pay off, and finally, the suit was done. It was a smaller version of Mr. Flynn's suit, and it was silver, compared to his black suit. "Wow, this looks awesome, guys." Phineas took a good look at the suit, impressed with the hard work his friends had put in. "You've really outdone yourselves."

"And best of all, with this thing, we'll be able to know just how his machine works as well." Baljeet added. "Of course, there are some minor...problems. For example, according to the data collected, it appears that each individual limb of the suit can shape-shift its appearence and transform into the weapon of the holder's choice."

"So...you mean, he could turn his hand into, like, a cannon or something?"

"I don't see why not. Now the problem is that we were not able to get this suit to do that."

"We were, however, able to incorporate his "super natural abilities" into the suit." Ferb continued. "So whoever wears it will posess the ability to shoot energy blasts from their palms, lightning bolts from their palms, and quite possibly the ability to unleash a mind-controlling spell on a helpless victim. Basically, this is a smaller version of what your deranged birth father is sporting."

"It certainly looks that way."

"Now, the only question is...who's going to wear it?" Isabella pondered.

"I don't really see why any of you kids have to wear it at all." Vivian interfered. "It's too dangerous for any of you to be out there at all."

"Do any of you want to go out there and risk your very lives?" Buford implied the question hard on all of the adults; all whom simply shrugged, suggesting "no". "I didn't think so."

"Buford's absolutely right. If anybody should go out there..." Phineas hesitated to finish his sentence. "...it should be me." He didn't really want to go, but he felt that he was the only one of the group that would be able to talk remotely any sense into his father.

"Phineas, no!" Isabella immediately shouted, resenting any prospect of Phineas going or doing anything dangerous at the moment. "You're crazy! I can't let you do anything like this...especially in the condition you're in."

"Isabella, I understand your concern. But let's face it. Who else in this room would be able to talk some sense into that guy?"

"Maybe I could." Linda asked. She truly believed that since she apologized, he would be willing to listen. Sadly, she couldn't be farther from the truth.

"Nah, sometime in my gut just tells me he'll just blast you to bits. No, this is a job for someone that's really connected with him. Somebody that's spent time with him and gotten the chance to get into his head."

"I still say you shouldn't go." Isabella said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I-I don't want anything to happen to you."

"But, Isabella..."

"Phineas, you're the most important person in my life. Sending you out there where you could possibly be severely injured or worse is like sending Perry on a top secret mission."

"Top secret mission? What top secret mission?" Phineas freaked out, covering his mouth before anybody grew suspicious. Anything having to do with Perry or top secret stuff scared Phineas now, especially now that he knows Perry's big secret. "Oh, sorry. I-I jumped the gun there."

"Seriously, Phineas. I'm not letting you go out there. You mean so much to me. Just the thought of losing you is..." She started to choke up. Phineas approached her slowly to comfort her. "...oh, it's just too much to bear!" She was on the brink of bursting out, sobbing. But Phineas's warm embrace kept her cool and calm. "Phineas, please don't go out there!"

"But if I don't go, then who else will?" His question did raise concerns over who would go out and stop Mr. Flynn. He, in particular, did not want to go out and face his father. But, his will to protect his family overpowered this concern. "The last thing I want is for anybody else to get hurt, and besides, what's the worst thing that could happen."

"Well-"

"On second thought, don't answer that."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. And I give all of you my word that I will stop my father in his tracks, and I will make sure that his reign of terror ends!" He slowly approached the suit, opened it up, stepped inside, and closed it. Only seconds into it, he had already felt stronger. "Whoa, this is...awesome! I'm feeling stronger already!"

"Phineas, before you go, there is one more thing you need to know." Baljeet intervened, having nearly forgotten one very important thing about the suit.

"What's that?"

"THe suite...well, it acts like a Exo-skeleton. So...the longer you use it, the more it'll drain you of your natural strength. Use too much of its power, and..."

"I get it, Baljeet. I'm toast. Well, there's no need to worry. I know my own limits." Isabella grunted when Phineas said this. She knew full well he was lying through his teeth, as he had demonstrated on several occasions in the current summer alone that Phineas refused to listen to his body and rest when needed. It was an issue Isabella has constantly become frustrated with, but an issue she has also expressed willingness to work on."OK, OK, so I don't. But I promise I'll be careful here."

"You better be."

* * *

Mr. Flynn was just about finishing up negotiations with Mayor Doofenshmirtz. "Well, Mr. Mayor, I'm so glad we could have this little chat of ours." He untied him, but only to have him sign an official contract Mr. Flynn came up with, a contract that states that Mr. Flynn receives all of the Tri-State Area, and can do whatever he pleases with it.

"You're despicable." Mayor Doofenshmirtz hissed to Mr. Flynn. "Under normal circumstances, I would never, _ever, **ever**_ give up control like this to anybody."

"If I recall correctly, you _did_ give up control once to your older brother, a Mr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz., I presume, just because _you_ were afraid of getting blamed for the disaster of...oh god, what was his name again? Ben Stiller?" (**The Beak**)

"Don't bring that up, now."

"Face it. You did what any other coward would've done. You ran away to your big brother. Now I would've done the same thing...I just would've acted less sneaky."

"Why you..."

"Come on, get to signing! I don't have all day, you know! Or, rather, I don't have all night." His patience was growing thinner. Mayor Doofenshmrtz began to slowly sign the bill. Mr. Flynn stood there, arms folded, smiling triumphately, believing that his time had come. What he wasn'ta ware of was that his own son, Phineas, in a silver power suit, similar to his, only smaller, was outside, ready to fight. The boy started running towards the window, and smashed right through it, knocking Mr. Flynn down with him. When the glass stopped shattering, Mr. Flynn took a look around to see what knocked him down. "What was that!"

He looked over to his side and saw his son in the power suit lying on the ground. "Phineas?"

Phineas quickly dusted himself off and looked in his father's direction. "That's my name. Don't wear it out."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm stopping you, Dad. This reign of terror has gone far enough. I can't let any more innocent lives become ruined from your tyranny."

"But...I rescued you from that awful home."

"My home's not awful! True, Mom isn't the smartest person out there, and true Candace has had it out to get Ferb and I in trouble for years. But that doesn't mean I love them any less."

"Son, when I kidnapped you last night, I hoped that I would be able to get you to forget about them. I thought that I would get you angry enough to make you want to stay with me. But I guess I was wrong."

"I'm sorry, Dad. But frankly, you can't blame me for wanting to stay here."

"I don't, son. I don't. I blame your idiot mother & your obnoxious sister!"

"Oh, that's it! It's on!" Phineas shouted, tackling Mr. Flynn again, this time, making sure he was pinned to the ground before he flew out.

"You're not getting away that easily, bud!" Mr. Flynn cackled, as he stood up, dusted off, and flew out the window, leaving his army of animals there with Mayor Doofenshmirtz. Unsure of what was happening, they decided to follow and protect their master.

"Stay away, Dad!" Phineas shouted while he was flying away from his father. "I don't want to hurt you!" He held out his hand and readied a purple energy blast.

"Ha! As if you could!" He retorted back, angering Phineas, which caused him to release his energy blast. Mr. Flynn got out of the way very easily, then fired a blue blast at him, knocking him back several feet before landing on the ground. He heard a beeping sound, so he checked his left wrist compartment. A small, black box appeared on his wrist, with the number 86 and then a percentage sign written in it. This box indicated Phineas's power supply. Since the suit acted as an Exoskeleton, Phineas was ordered to exercise caution. Too much power use could have dangerous results. "Is that all you've got?"

"You wish!" He stood up instantly, rocketed towards his father, and tackled him, giving him several sucker-punches to the face before being lifted up and thrown into a still standing building nearby.

In an effort to escape his clutches, Phineas took to the skies. Unfortunately, Mr. Flynn had the same idea. When the two of them collided, they started exchanging blows at each other. With Mr. Flynn's ability to morph each part of his suit into some sort of weapon (for example, he could morph his left arm into a giant sledgehammer), he had the clear advantage. And changing his left arm into a sledgehammer, he knocked Phineas down into the ground, hard.

As time slowly progressed, Phineas could feel his body weakening. He checked his power supply, and saw that the number had dropped to 75%. His head was starting to spin. "I feel dizzy..."

"What's the matter, son? Can't take the heat?" Mr. Flynn slowly returned to the ground. "Then stay out of the kitchen!" He shouted before holding his hands close to his body, forming an orange energy ball that looked a lot like a close-up of the Sun. It began expanding rapidly, and when it was finally as big as he wanted it to be, he fired it at Phineas. The boy attempted to jump out of the way to escape, but he was hit head on, and was knocked back several more feet. His power went down to 66%. "Had enough!"

Phineas struggled to stand up. But his determination to protect his family & friends kept him going. "Never!"

"Fine. Be that way! Just don't see I didn't offer you a way out." He flew right towards Phineas, but was stopped when Phineas was able to trip him with his leg, and send him spiraling down the street. Then, Phineas got up the strength to fire an energy blast at him. It knocked Mr. Flynn back even further.

"Why do you keep fighting, Dad? Just give up, now. And I won't have to hurt you!"

"You...hurt _me_?" He cackled, standing up slowly. "That's a good one, son." He continued laughing, almost mocking him. "You...try to hurt me. That's real funny!" But he wasn't laughing when Phineas tackled him and started punching him rapidly. Mr. Flynn focused his attention on getting Phineas off of him, and not only did he manage to do so, he did it in style, kicking Phineas in...a place boys shouldn't be kicked, and then turning his right arm into a battering ram, and knocking Phineas back several feet, into another building, which crumbled upon impact, and trapped Phineas underneath.

For several seconds, it looked like Phineas was not moving underneath the rubble, as nothing was happening. But in truth, Phineas was actually communicating with his friends, who had set up a communication system through his suit, so he could stay in touch with them. "_Phineas! What's going on out there!" _Isabella asked frantically, having heard the crash.

"He's got me trapped under some rubble." Phineas answered, noting that his Exoskeleton's power had dropped to just 44%. It clicked again and read 40%. "I'm losing strength, and quickly."

"_I told you this was a bad idea!"_

"I don't think now's the time for that, Isabella!" He kept his voice as low as he possible could so he wouldn't draw Mr. Flynn's attention. Lucky for him, Mr. Flynn, temporarily, wasn't focused on hurting Phineas. He was focused on getting revenge on his ex-wife, Linda.

"Come on out, boy!" And he was just taking his anger out on Phineas. "Don't be a coward, like your idiot mother! I thought you were better than this!" Phineas could tell that his father's anger was growing, and with his anger came more power.

"Hey, Isabella..."

"_Yeah?"_

"I don't think my dad really wants to hurt me. I think he wants to hurt my mom, and he's using me as a scapegoat."

"_I wouldn't be surprised. I couldn't believe how upset he was at her."_

"Well, you can't really blame him. Anyway, I was thinking...maybe if you got my mom to come down here, and apologize to him, maybe he'll rethink things and decide to give up."

"_But didn't she apologize earlier?"_

"Yeah. But maybe he needs to hear it again, and see it. Then maybe he'll come to his senses."

"_I sure hope you're right. I'll go try and talk her into it."_

"Good. In the meantime, I'll stay here and fend off my dad." He hung up his communication device, and then, with a burst of energy, broke out of the rubble. He flew off towards his dad, but was met with an unfortunate sucker-punch to the face, causing him to be flown back to the rubble. But before crashing again, he managed to get his rocket boosters going, and flew out of the way, back towards his dad, landing a punch of his own, sending him back a few feet. "Dad, this is stupid. We're going to end up killing each other and for what? Just because you want to get some revenge on Mom."

"Well, what am I supposed to do! If she won't come to her senses-"

"But she already apologized earlier!"

"Well, I don't think she was genuine about it. I think she was just trying to shut me up."

"Come on, Dad. Get real! If you were in her position, and she was in yours, would _you_ have believed her when she said she had been poisoned by nuclear waste?"

"Well, when you put it that way...I-I guess...maybe not. A-And even if I didn't, I still would've taken her to the ER."

"Look, what I'm trying to say is...Mom's not perfect."

"I think we've already established that."

"And she may be a little dense...but she has a loving heart, and she enchants everybody she meets. She managed to win my step-dad over, anyway. She's not really a bad person, Dad. And neither is Candace. The two of them...er, they just have some issues. But it doesn't mean we have to treat them any differently."

Mr. Flynn was truly touched by Phineas's short speech. He was so consumed by anger, betrayal, and vengeance that he had often forgot to look at all the positive things about Linda. Granted, there weren't that many, but still. "For too long, I've had but one goal in mind. To make your mother suffer just like she made me suffer all those years ago. I mean, the fact that she wouldn't even look at me when the evidence was all right there...it-it just made me so mad."

"Now I see where Candace got her obsession to bust me from."

"But now I understand...that's not the way to live. I've been wasting the past several years of my life plotting vengeance against her. I-I don't remember the last truly successful thing I've done."

"Are you serious? Dad, you defied the laws of physics by giving yourself superpowers! I'd say that's pretty successful."

"R-R-Really?"

"Of course. Now I understand where I got my creative mind from." Phineas said with a laugh as he reached out to embrace his father in his weakened state. The man, whose heart was once cold & black, full of revenge and hate, was now warming up with thoughts of the son he once had a hand in raising. There was never a moment where Mr. Flynn was more proud of his son then he was at that moment.

"You know, son, I don't think I've ever said this - and I probably will never said it again - but I'm proud of you."

"Coming from you, that means a lot."

"Well...I guess I better set things straight, starting with releasing those animals & those military cadets from my grasp." He broke off from the hug and, with his hand glowing pink, snapped his fingers. This move caused the mind-controlling spell that was over everybody he cast it on to break. Everyone stood where they were, motionless, for a moment. The animals did not understand why they were at Mayor Doofenshmirtz's office, and the cadets didn't know why they felt so angry or what they were doing in the first place. Basically, nobody who was under Mr. Flynn's control remembered anything about the ordeal.

* * *

After all was said and done, everyone (except for the animals, who were now trying to find their way back home) gathered in front of the Flynn-Fletcher home. The sky was still gloomy and dark, but now, it was only due to a possible oncoming storm, and not because of an ominous feel.

"Jerry, I'm very sorry for what happened to you. And I'm sorry I didn't believe you and shrugged you off like you were crazy." Linda apologized again to Mr. Flynn. "It was wrong of me to do, and I have regretted it every single day."

"You know, it _is_ a little late. More, like, 8 years late. But, it still means a great deal coming from you." He said, remorse in his voice. "And I owe every single person in the Tri-State Area an apology for my selfish and ridiculous behavior. I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgement. I almost lost my own family because of my arrogance & lust for revenge. But I have seen the light, now."

"Dad..." Phineas pepped up, his voice weak from the damage he took while in a fight against him. "What's going to happen to you, now? Are you going to stay?"

"Well, son, given that I've done practically millions of dollars in damage to the Tri-State Area, and the fact that I've insulted your mother in front of millions of people, I'd say I'll have an angry mob after me before the night is over."

"So, you're leaving again?" Candace asked. She, of all people, did not want to watch her father walk out on her again since she had already witnessed it once.

"I think I have to, Candace. But, don't worry about me. With this new body & these new powers of mine, I have decided to dedicate my life to helping those in need all across the world. My normal, human body may be eroding, but my new superhuman body is raring to get into action."

"But what about us!" She shouted, pain building up. "Don't you even care! I mean, I went though 8 years with the last memory of you being you walking out the front door! I can't go through that again! I need a dad in my life!"

"Candace!" Linda was about to scold Candace for allegedly forgetting about Lawrence, but that really wasn't the case. She loved Lawrence like a father, but that didn't stop her from missing Jerry.

"No, it's alright." Mr. Flynn put a hand on Candace's shoulder, approaching her. "Candace, you have a dad. Lawrence is a wonderful man, and he is just as good a dad as I was. You need to let me go. I know I wasn't the best father out there. But I love you and your brother so much, and it will hurt to be away from you all the time. But I need to make a fresh start. I know if I travel around the world, I'll be able to make a difference in a lot of people's lives."

"But..."

"Your life was just fine without me. I doubt it's going to change anytime soon." He kissed her forehead, assuring her that everything was going to be OK. "Now, take care of your brother for me. And be easy on him. He's just a kid."

"Yes, Dad." She said sheepishly, hugging her dad one last time before he set off. He moved to Linda.

"Linda, take care of these kids, will you? Cherish everyday you have with them."

"You bet I will." The two embraced, and soon joined Lawrence in the embrace as well. Then, Mr. Flynn moved onto his son.

"And Phineas, be a good boy for your family. And please, don't ever stop what you and Ferb do. You two have a gift; take advantage of it."

"Everyday, Dad. Everyday." Phineas said, embracing his father as well, with Ferb joining in soon after.

"Before I go, I think there's one more thing that needs to be done here." He stepped back, held out his left arm towards Isabella, and waited. His hand started glowing pure white, and soon, Isabella's injured leg did as well. Eventually, the cast around it began to tear apart, releasing Isabella's now fully repaired leg.

"What was that?" She questioned as she slowly put her foot on the ground. Feeling absolutely no pain at all, she gasped and looked down. "Wait, my foot! It's not hurting anymore! Y-Y-"

"It's one of my many extraordinary powers I've developed. It's a healing power. I was able to reverse the damage done to your bones and fix your foot."

"Oh my gosh, this is amazing!" She couldn't help herself. She jumped up into Mr. Flynn's mechanical arms and gave him the biggest hug she could. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now, do take care of my boy, will you? You won't find anyone like him anytime soon."

"I will!" She shouted as she slowly put her down, and watched her run back to Phineas to give him a hug. It was just as she was put down that everybody heard faint barking in the distance. Out in the street, they saw Pinky & Perry running up to them. Phineas & Isabella couldn't be more ecstatic. "Pinky!"

"Perry!" Their pets raced into their owner's arms and gave them hugs like they had not been seen in a long time. And while he was hugging his pet, Phineas whispered into his ear "And don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." He winked to Perry, and Perry winked back. His worries that Phineas knowing his secret would jeopardize his relationship with the family were dashed.

"So...what happens to you, Candace?" Ferb asked, curious to know whether or not Candace would be leaving again. Phineas had hoped that this would not be the case, because secretly, he had been missing her a lot.

"Well..."

"You're not going back to that dangerous country, are you?" Phineas looked towards her, and gave her his best "puppy dog" eyes. He had rarely tried that trick on anybody, but he refused to see his own sister leave again, with the possibility of not coming back for a long time.

"I-I don't know."

"Unfortunately," Commandant Spangler intervened. "I have just received word that the camp in Iraq has been invaded by...well, Iraquians. And, my son just told me that the camp that we have here in Danville is currently being condemned for a "maggot infestation". So, unfortunately, until I can resolve this matter, none of the cadets are allowed to set foot in the building."

"So...you're saying I'm free to stay home with my family."

"Yes...on the condition that you continue training on your own. You may not be seeing me around here, but that doesn't mean you should start slacking."

"Not at all, sir." _In your dreams, bucket-head._

"Yay! Candace is staying this time!" Phineas shouted happily, hugging his big sister, who graciously returned the hug.

"Well, I suppose I ought to be on my way." Mr. Flynn finally stepped into the conversation. "It looks like everything here is going to be just fine." He started hovering into the air, and everyone on the ground started to wave goodbye to him. He even heard some people yell goodbye to him, notably Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Candace, & Linda. But before he was out of sight, he decided to have one last big of fun. So he charged up an energy blast, a red one, and fired it at one still intact home. And what home would that be? Cleveland Brown's home.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. Apparently, he was completely unaware of what had happened during the day, evident by his shocked gasp upon looking around and seeing all the damage done. "What the hell happened out here! It looks like a typhoon hit this place. How could I have missed _this_!"

Mr. Flynn laughed, as did everybody else on the ground, before taking off into the skies. Everybody continued waving as they watched him disappear. "Hey, Mom? Do you think we'll ever see Dad again?" Phineas asked his mother genuinely. Linda had to think about it for a moment. She was conflicted over whether to answer truthfully and give him that respect, or lie to him just to ease his anxiety. In the end, Linda decided that the truth was the best way to go.

"No."

* * *

**During the Credits**

Meanwhile, down under, Major Monogram & Carl were listening to everything from a little bug they had installed in Perry's fur. It gave him audio, but not visual, like his fedora cam.

"It appears that everything is back to normal in Danville." Monogram noted. "Well, Carl, all's well that ends well, I suppose."

"Are you sure it's a good idea that one of his owners knows Agent P's secret?" Carl inquired. This was quite a big issue for the O.W.C.A, not so much as it had happened often, but it was moreso a big concern for them.

"Well, the way I see it...Phineas Flynn, while he is an intelligent boy, is also quite clueless sometimes, as is his mother. So he'll probably forget about it tomorrow. And if not, I doubt his parents will take him seriously should he accidentally reveal it to them. I mean, his own mother didn't take any of his "summer projects" seriously for years!"

"I still can't believe _she_ was one of Doofenshmirtz's ex-girlfriends."

"I know, right? Anyway, I think it's time to call it a day." He turned his computer off and started heading for the exit. "I'm going to Taco Bell. Coming, Carl?"

"Oh boy! Tacos!"

**End of Episode 31!**

**So, what did you think? Did you love it? Hate it? Gimme your thoughts. This was my toughest 4 episodes to ever write, but I am far from done! And don't think that having Candace home is going to change anything. Just keep reading.**

**Next Time: Candace is home, and Phineas is bouncing off the walls in excitement...or is he? Meanwhile, Suzy, having heard about Candace's return, tries to mess with her again.**

**Expected Update: School's already getting me down, with homework, schoolwork, stuff like that. So, please don't expect another update for at least another week. At the very latest, I'll try to get the next episode up before the end of September.**


	40. 32: Why The Caged Bird Sings

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 32: Why the Caged Bird Sings**

**Episode Summary: Candace is home from military training, and Phineas couldn't be happier...or could he? Having her home has not only disrupted the peace & tranquility the Flynn-Fletcher family have come to know, but it has also gotten Phineas on edge when it comes to his summer activities. But could there be more to this than he is letting on? Meanwhile, Perry goes on a hunt to find Dr. Doofenshmirtz after he scatters town, and Suzy, having heard about Candace's return, tries to mess with her.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_It was another glorious day in the Tri-State Area. With the damage that had been done the previous day nearly fixed up & forgotten about, everybody was free to do what they pleased. And the same could definitely be said for the Flynn-Fletcher family, who were all at the moment enjoying a balanced breakfast. It was their first breakfast with Candace since she left at the beginning of the summer.

"Candace, I can't tell you how great it is to have you back." Lawrence said, taking a bite out of his scrambled egg.

"It's good to be back." Candace agreed, drinking some of her OJ. "And the best part is, Summer's only half over."

"Yes. Now you have plenty of time to catch up with your old friends. I'm sure Stacy & Jeremy are thrilled to have you back again." Linda said.

"I don't see why they wouldn't."

"So you're not upset that your two best friends are now an item?" Ferb inquired, noting the fact that Stacy & Jeremy were still dating.

"No, it bothers me a little bit. But, I'll get over it. There are still plenty of fish in the sea. So, boys - and I can't believe I'm actually asking this, but - what are you two doing today?"

Phineas dropped his fork when Candace asked this. He then started to remember all of those times where Candace tried to get him & Ferb in trouble for their outlandish projects. Things were OK between them all now, but still, the memory was hard for him to deal with. "Uh, w-why do you ask, sis?"

"Because...I'm curious?"

"Well, actually, we're not sure what we're gonna do yet." He said with anxiety. He was even beginning to drip sweat. "I-In fact, there's the small possibility that we may not even do anything today. That's always an option." He scratched his ear, his nerves slowly getting the better of him. Candace's usual feelings of suspicion were returning, but it wasn't because of what Phineas & Ferb were up to. It's because of the way he was acting.

"OK, then. What's up with you?"

"Oh, I bet he's just excited to have his big sister home again." Lawrence concluded, feeling the same way.

"You bet I am! It's too bad Perry's already disappeared. He would love to spend some time with Candace." Even though Phineas already knew that Perry was a secret agent, and was somewhat OK with it, he still had to play dumb and pretend that he didn't know where Perry ran off to. Actually, he didn't really know where Perry went. He just knew what he did.

* * *

Speaking of him, he was sliding down his tube, heading towards his lair. When he touched the ground of his lair, he put on his hat, took his seat, and turned on his big screen.

"Good morning, Agent P." Major Monogram said, in his usual tone of voice. He didn't seem angry nor frustrated with the fact that Phineas now knew his secret. "I'm sure you're well aware of the fact that your owner, a Phineas Flynn, now knows about your secret. Now, nevertheless, we feel that the boy is not an immediate threat to reveal your secret. So for the time being, we are allowing him to retain his full memory. But be vigilante, Agent P, and be ready to erase his memory should this become a problem."

"Now, onto your mission..." Monogram shifted through his papers, looking for Perry's mission. "Ah, yes. It seems that in the wake of yesterday's near-catastrophic end to the Tri-State Area, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has fled the town. We have a tracking device that can help lead you to where he went, and it'll be your job to convince him that everything is safe and that he may return to Danville whenever he is ready. Good luck, Agent P. Monogram out."

He saluted Monogram as the screen went black, and then went back up the tube over to him to grab the tracking device from him and then went off to find his nemesis.

* * *

Back in Danville, Jeremy Johnson was busy getting himself ready to go out. He was on his way to the shower when he was approached by his little sister, Suzy.

"Jeremy, what are you doing?" She asked him kindly.

"I'm going to take a shower. Stacy and I are going to see if we can meet up with Candace again so we can reconnect."

"Candace? You mean your ex-girlfriend?"

"Yep. She came home from military school last night, and it looks like she's staying for good this time."

"Huh. That's...interesting." Suzy was left to ponder on her own when Jeremy stepped into the bathroom. She ran back into the living room, found his cellphone. She searched quickly for Candace's cell number, and dialed it. It rang a few times before somebody on the other line answered.

"_Hello?"_

"Candace? It's Jeremy." Unbeknown to everybody, Suzy had the distinct ability to cloak her voice & imitate anybody & everybody she chose, and with great ability. So today, she decide to disguise herself as Jeremy to mess with Candace.

"_Oh, Jeremy. Hi!"_ Candace was pleasantly surprised to hear from her former boyfriend, though not in a way that made her seem obsessed with him, as she was in the past. "_Good to hear from you again."_

"It's nice to hear your voice, too. Listen, I really miss you."

"_I missed you too."_

"No, I mean, I _really_ missed you."

"_What do you-"_

"I can't stop thinking about you. My heart races every time I hear someone utter your name."

"_Uh, Jeremy, you know you're dating Stacy, right? You guys **are** still dating, right?"_

"Who's Stacy? All I can think about is you, my darling." Suzy was an extremely convincing Jeremy, at least to Candace. Of course, this didn't mean Suzy enjoyed this. In fact, she despised talking to Candace as Jeremy.

"_OK..._" Not wanting the awkwardness to grow, Candace decided to hang up her cellphone. Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, she was just finishing up her breakfast, still suspicious over what had just happened.

"Who was that, deary." Linda asked.

"I...think it was Jeremy."

"Oh, how nice. He must have really missed you."

"Yeah...I'm sure he must have...so, Mom, did Phineas or Ferb say what they were going to do today?"

"Nope. Neither of them said a word. Well, I guess that's common with Ferb, but it's not like Phineas to keep quiet."

"Yeah, that is strange. Where are they?"

"In the backyard."

"I'm gonna go check up on them, just to make sure they're OK." She stood up slowly from her chair and made her way to the back door. Phineas & Ferb were under the big tree, plotting out their day's plans. Of course, today, it wasn't like an ordinary day.

"OK, so we both agree on the super springy shoes." Phineas asked his stepbrother, to which he gave a thumbs up. "Good. Now let's get started quickly." He quickly grabbed Ferb's toolbox from him.

"What's the rush? It's only 8:30 A.M., you know." Ferb pointed out, even pulling out his pocket watch to prove it.

"Yeah, I know, but-" Phineas was about to attempt to explain to his stepbrother why he wanted to get the project down quickly without anybody seeing, but before he could, their sister Candace came out to see what was happening.

"Hey boys." But her normal, suspicious, somewhat nasty tone, was replaced with a sweet, loving, & curious tone. "What'cha doin'?" She asked, in no attempt to copy off of Isabella's catchphrase. Phineas, ignoring that, quickly became frantic, grabbed his toolbox, and threw it out on the street.

"What toolbox? We don't have any toolbox!" He shouted, having ignored the entire two-word question. Before Candace even had a chance to retaliate, the shattering of glass could be heard. It turns out that Phineas had thrown his toolbox accidentally into the driver's window of a passing car. The crash scared the driver and caused him to lose control of his vehicle for several blocks until finally, he crashed his car into Cleveland's house.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact.

Candace seemed confused as she scratched her head, looking on at the now destroyed house. "Uh, Phineas, are you sure you're feeling OK?"

"Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise? I-It's not like I'm trying to hide our day's project from you so you won't go into a crazy fit like you always do. C-Cause that's far from the truth!" He giggled sheepishly, but it was not a happy giggle.

"Well, when you guys figure out what you're gonna do, let me know, because I'd like to help you with it. OK?" She turned and walked away, leaving the two stepbrothers there by the tree. Ferb turned to his stepbrother, who was starting to sweat again. Ferb instantly knew that something was amiss, but he figured that at the moment, it wasn't worth making a big deal out of.

"Hey Ferb, did you hear that? Candace wants to help _us_ with our summer projects!" Phineas snorted, believing that Candace was joking when she said that. But in truth, she was being genuine and truthful. "What a load of bologna, am I right?" He chuckled, but Ferb didn't really buy it. "Any chance you have a spare toolbox?"

"You know you're gonna have to pay for this."

"Don't remind me!"

* * *

Meanwhile, out in the town, Perry, out in his hover car, was following his GPS tracking device in an attempt to find Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He was nearing the edge of town and yet his tracking device ordered him to continue going forward. This was an immediate sign to Perry that something wasn't right. He wanted to find his nemesis before it got dark out so he could possibly foil one of his evil schemes.

The screen inside his hover car turned on, and his boss appeared on the other line. "Agent P, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the Tri-State Area has been 100% repaired, so it'll be free for Doofenshmirtz to return to when you find him. The bad news is if you can't convince him to return by the end of the work week, you'll have to be reassigned." Perry's eyes opened widely. "Good luck." And then the screen went black. Perry growled in anger and sped up his hover car.

His travels took him not only out of the Tri-State, but out of the country as well. Before long, he found himself over the Pacific Ocean, and his GPS tracking device was still instructing him to move forward. With Doofenshmirtz nowhere in sight, Perry continued forward.

In literally no time at all, he found himself in the one place he would've never thought to look: Antarctica. That's right, Perry's tracking device had led him to the bitter cold frontier of Antarctica. There was snow everywhere, for miles, and at least a foot of it. It was so cold that Perry had to put on a fur jacket just to have a chance at staying warm. But that wasn't the only problem. Upon stepping out of his hover car, he sunk into the giant snow pile. The snow was far too cold for him to maneuver in, despite the fact that he was wearing a fur jacket. The cold quickly took over his body, and he found himself shivering uncontrollably to fend off the freezing temperatures. Before the platypus knew it, he was unconscious.

Soon he found himself being dragged by his feet to a nearby igloo by a strange man in a bigger fur coat, inadvertently saving his life before it was too late.

* * *

Back at home, the boys were (in secret) working on their day's project: a pair of super shoes that had springs on the heels. Candace was inside, keeping an eye on the boys. She was suspicious of what they were doing, simply because Phineas had freaked out earlier when she decided to nose around. But, she wasn't so suspicious that she would run off and tell her mother at her earliest convenience, but suspicious enough to make sure that things were OK with them, especially Phineas, who was slightly less stable emotionally than Ferb.

The boys were greeted by Isabella was she entered the backyard. She immediately ran up to them, and gave them a hug, as well as giving Phineas a kiss. "Hi guys. What'cha do-" Before Isabella was given the chance to finish her famous catchphrase, Phineas covered her mouth frantically.

"Shh! Keep it down, Isabella!" He whispered to her, taking his hand off her mouth.

"Why?" She whispered back.

"Because I don't want...you-know-who to hear."

"Who...oh, you mean Candace?"

"Shh! Keep quiet!" He whispered again, sounding more frantic than before. He covered her mouth again, starting to sweat. "Do you not know how to keep your voice down."

"Phineas, you're acting crazy. Why are you so concerned over what Candace sees or hears? Isn't everything OK between you guys? I mean, hasn't she settled her desires to act suspicious around you guys, put you down, and ultimately get you in trouble for these kinds of things?"

"Well...yeah. But, you know, people can relapse."

"Is that what your sudden anxiety is all about?" Ferb inquired.

"Yes. Yes it was. But...please don't tell her or anyone about it. C-Can we just keep on the low-down today? Please?" He was almost begging at this point. It was now apparently his turn to experience the paranoia that Candace had felt through many a summer project.

"Sure, Phineas. I guess, if it'll make you feel better."

"Thanks. Now, Ferb and I are working on making shoes that have springs on the hells. So when you jump, you'll bounce much higher in the air, practically defying gravity."

"Sounds cool. Can the Fireside Girls & I help in any way?"

"Yep. Here's a list of supplies we're going to need." Phineas handed her a piece of paper that was on the ground that had all of the supplies needed for the project. "When you guys are finished getting the stuff, you can meet Ferb and I in the middle of the Danville Park."

"Danville Park?"

"Uh-huh. There's a lot more room there, and there's less of a chance we'll crash into something."

"But can't we just use the street-"

"JUST DO IT!" Phineas finally shouted at the top of his lungs, fed up with what he thought was Isabella's constant complaining. She jumped out of her skin after he heard him scream like that. In fact, nearly everybody on the block jumped out of their skin, having heard Phineas scream. Isabella said nothing more as she slowly backed out of the backyard. Phineas looked at his stepbrother who seemed very confused & scared at the same time. "What? Ugh, come on. We're wasting time. To the park!" The two of them rushed out of the backyard before Candace could see them leaving.

Unfortunately for him, Candace not only did see them leave, but she also heard Phineas's shrill scream. "What was that all about?" She asked herself, watching the two boys leave in a hurry. "I hope everything's OK. I better go check on them just to make sure..." Just as she was thinking about leaving, her cell phone went off again. She looked at the caller ID and saw that it was "Jeremy" again. "Hello?" She answered it.

"_Hey, gorgeous."_ "Jeremy" said on the other line. "_How's my little cupcake doing?"_

"Seriously, Jeremy. You're dating Stacy. You can't be hitting on me like this."

"_Oh, come on. Loosen up a little, toots. Stacy doesn't have to know about this. It could just be our little secret."_

"Whoa, there, partner! I'll have you know that I _have_ loosened up a lot. I no longer have any interest in busting my brothers. And another thing, you're practically cheating on your girlfriend right now!" Candace was quickly becoming impatient with her ex-boyfriend on the other line. "Imagine what would happen if Stacy found out!"

"_Wow. You are so uptight right now. And yet I have never been more in love with you. You know, you'd actually be less attractive to me without that pole up your butt."_

"Ugh! You're sick!" She groaned. "Who are you and what have you done with my ex-boyfriend?" Disgusted and fed up with "Jeremy's" craziness, she hung up her cell phone and threw it on the couch. Over at Jeremy's house, Suzy, who had been playing Jeremy to mess with her, found herself gagging having said all those things about Candace. She despised the prospect of her going out with Jeremy again, so she figured that if she could make Candace angry enough to hate him, then she'll have no interest in going out again.

"Man, that was weird." Candace said to herself as Lawrence walked into the room.

"What was weird, darling?"

"That's the second time now that Jeremy's called me today. And so far, all he's done is flirt with me. It's like he wants to break up with Stacy and go out with me again."

"Oh, my, that sounds like a problem. Well, have you considered wanting to go out with him again?"

"Yes. But I'm just not sure. It just seems weird that he would want to hit on me after I had just gotten back from military school. Something's not adding up here. But if I go to his house and start asking questions, I could set a rift between us, and I don't want to do that. So, for now. I'm just going to hang back and let things happen naturally. In the meantime, I'm gonna head over to the park to see what Phineas & Ferb are doing."

"Very well, sweetheart. Make sure they play safely."

"Yes Dad." She turned around and calmly left the home, but the thought of Jeremy hitting on her still lingered in the back of her mind.

* * *

Back in Antarctica, Perry was starting to slowly regain consciousness. He was now wearing a much bigger fur coat given to him by his rescuer. When his vision became clear enough, he was able to figure out who it was that rescued him.

"Perry the Platypus!" As he recognized instantly that squeaky, German voice. "Good, you're awake. I was starting to worry." Perry sat up, surprised as anyone that Dr. Doofenshmirtz would actually want to migrate into a freezing wasteland such as Antarctica, and that he was able to make such an effective fur coat for the two of them. "You were so cold when I found you so I gave you one of the fur coats that I made out of my...never mind. Anywho...let me show you around."

He led Perry all around his igloo, which wasn't like an ordinary igloo. "And here we have the living room - I crafted the fine dinnerware myself." Then he took him into the bedroom. "And here's the bedroom: Queen size bed, HD TV, computer, desk, et cetera." He then led him into the bathroom. "And the bathroom...t-there's no toilet yet. So I have that little bucket over there. Oh, there's also a basement, but that's for another time. And finally..." He led Perry into one final room...a room full of gaming systems, such as an Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and more. Granted, they were all made out of snow. "The game room. As you can see, I have all the latest gaming consoles at my own expense."

Perry gave a sheepish look at Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "OK, so they're all made of snow. But...I'm working on making real stuff out of snow. So...it's a work in progress. Any who, so what brings you here?"

Perry growled, making his usual sound, hoping that Doofenshmirtz would be able to understand.

"I-I'm sorry, Perry the Platypus. I don't speak animal. But here." He went to the back of the igloo, grabbed some paper & a pencil, and handed it to Perry. "These are non-freezing writing materials. You can use them to communicate."

Perry grabbed the pencil and started writing his message on it. The message read 'Monogram says that the Tri-State is all fixed up, and you can come home anytime you want'.

"Oh, he said that? Well, that's great to hear. Really great. I guess that means Vanessa & Charlene are OK, that's great. And Roger, too. I suppose I'm happy for him, yeah. But...see, here's the thing: I don't want to go back." Perry's eyes opened widely upon hearing those words. "Look, it's not that simple. OK, let me explain it to you in back story form."

"You see, when I was a little boy, snow was quite a difficult thing to come by in Gimelschtump. We were fortunate if we got one good snow day every few years. But when we did get snow, all of the kids, including myself, rejoiced. We would skip school, build snowmen, having snowball fights...of course, the snowball fights were hard for me since I didn't have any friends. So I would just throw snowballs into the air and let them hit my face. Anyway, the point is, we treasured the few snow days we got as children. And now that I am surrounded with all the snow I can get, why would I want to leave?"

Perry took another good look around, seeing everything that was made out of snow, and shook his head, unimpressed with what was happening, and what Doofenshmirtz was implying. "What? Oh come, Perry the Platypus. Don't be like that! The least you could do is be happy for me! It's like a fresh start. No annoying brother who's better than me at everything except cup-stacking, no goth-obsessed daughter, no wife who...pays me a big alimony check...every month...huh. You know, perhaps in my desperate haste to start fresh, I did not think my entire plan through."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb had arrived in the Danville Park and were ready to go through and carry out their day's project. The only problem was that they did not have the supplies necessary to go through with the project, and the waiting around was becoming aggravating to Phineas.

"Where are they?" He asked angrily, checking his watch. "I thought Isabella and her Fireside Girl troop would've been done getting the supplies by now!"

"Not to rain down on your parade or anything, but...there's no rush, you know." Ferb tried to assure him, still a bit oblivious to Phineas's true intentions behind him rushing the project. He didn't want Candace to find out.

"Oh, sure. That's easy for you to say." Phineas said, jittery. "Look, l-let's just get this project down, and quick! OK?"

"Hey, Phineas." Isabella said in a sweet voice as she and the other Fireside Girls came up with the supplies they needed.

"WHAT?" He screamed, turning around, looking angrier than he's ever been, scaring Isabella and the other girls, causing her and the other girls to scream. Isabella started quivering where she stood as Phineas slowly tried to calm down. "Oh gosh. Isabella, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Phineas, are you OK?" Gretchen asked, seeing the boy shaking where he stood, and slightly pale now. "You look like a ghost."

"Y-Yeah. I guess I just didn't sleep well. That's all. Can we move on now, please? We've gotta finish this project before...before you know who finds us!" He was referring to Candace.

"Who? Phineas, what's going on?" Isabella now was becoming concerned for her boyfriend. "You're not acting like yourself. You're jumpy, you're tense, you're scared, and you're not enjoying yourself. What is-"

"Phineas!" Everybody recognized that shrill voice instantly. They all turned around to see Candace on her way towards them. But she didn't have her usual angry eyes & angry voice with her. This time, she brought along a voice of concern. "There you guys are. I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Y-You have, have you?"

"Yeah. You left the backyard in such a hurry. Is everything OK?"

"Yes, Candace. Everything is fine." He was gritting his teeth in frustration now. "We are just having fun, like little kids should. So there's really no need for you to be here right now."

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you-"

"Unless, of course, you feel like you need to tattle on us to MOM!" He was gritting his teeth so hard that he almost broke some. His anger level was through the roof, and everybody, after hearing Phineas blurt out those words, finally understood what had been going on...at least to a certain degree.

"I-I don't know how to respond to that. Phineas, y-you honestly think that I'm here sourly to tattle on you guys. No, that's not true at all. I told you already, that part of my life is over."

"OH, GIVE ME A BREAK!" He finally exploded, unleashing all of his built up rage on everyone around him. The stress of trying to hide his project from his sister had gotten the better of him. Even though he was told she had no desire to bust them anymore, something inside of him convinced him otherwise, and now, he felt like he had been pushed over the edge, and farther off the edge than Candace had ever been pushed. "Don't give me that crap, Candace! I'm not an idiot, and I'm certainly not a LOSER, as you have referred to Ferb and I as in the past!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend like you don't remember!" His eyes changed from their normal color to beat red. "All those times where Ferb and I were doing something, and you called us "dweebs", "obnoxious", "losers",, et cetera. Remember our backyard beach! You doused us with teenage reality, saying that we would never be popular, and even after you saw our real beach, you STILL decided to get us in trouble! Oh, and what about when we left to go to that Sci-Fi convention! You said you didn't want to be related to us! And how about the time you denied us the beauty of having carrots just because you automatically assumed we needed them for our project? What if we wanted to just eat them! You would've been denying us an important part of our balanced diet! If I was blind, it would be on your head! You know since Mom & Dad got married, you haven't told Ferb and I that you loved us! Not once! And you've rarely shown us any physical affection at all!"

"But-"

"Oh, and let's not forget the way you treat our pet platypus, IF you still remember his name!"

"I used to treat Perry wonderfully."

"HA!" He was boiling, remembering the times Candace had insulted Perry. "That's the most disgusting lie that's ever come out of your filthy mouth!"

"Phineas..." Isabella's concern for him was at an all-time high. He had never acted in such a horrifying manner, and he had never displayed such emotion before, not even when his date with Isabella in Paris failed earlier in the summer.

"You've called him boring, bland, smelly, disgusting, and a nuisance ever since I can remember! And guess what, you little termite? I know that it was **_YOU _**who put him out the night he ran away from home! In fact, I know that _**YOU **_even told him to leave!"

"I never said anything like that."

"I heard you talking over the phone with Stacy one night, and I heard everything. But I thought Stacy was lying, so I didn't say anything. But now that I know the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if Perry peed in your bed from now on." Some of the kids were tempted to laugh at that proposal, but Isabella ordered her troop silently not to let out even a giggle.

"Phineas...that was then, and this is now."

"Yeah, but who's to say that you won't relapse again? I'm no fool, Candace! I know stuff! I know that you're completely psycho!"

"Stop it, Phineas! Just stop it!" Isabella yelled, running up and holding him tightly in an attempt to calm him down. He struggled vigorously to escape her grip, but she was far too strong. "You're gonna hurt yourself! Stop it!"

"Let go of me!" He was on the brink of tears. "I have to get away from her before she starts screaming again! Let me go! **LET ME GO**!" The tears started running down his face, and he quickly stopped struggling, and finally, he just burst out, sobbing away. She turned him around and gave him a nice, warm hug, seeing the pain in his face. His face was pale as a ghost, his body was shaking rapidly. Candace slowly edged towards him.

"Phineas..." She didn't want to startle him. He didn't budge from his huge from Isabella, so the girl helped turn him around so he could hug Candace. "It's OK. Nobody's going to hurt you." She tried to get him to calm down. "You have to stop crying."

"Don't yell at me! I-I-I just can't take it!"

"I'm not going to yell at you. No one is." She stroked her hand gently down his back as everybody stared on in disbelief. Isabella even started crying a bit. "Come on. I'm going to take you home."

"We'll follow." Isabella said as everybody quietly followed her out of the park. Candace held the sobbing Phineas in her arms the entire trip home. Phineas had never experienced a breakdown like the one he was having no, and nobody had ever seen a breakdown like that up close and personal. He struggled the entire time to get away from her sister, but her grip on him was too strong for him.

After about ten minutes of walking through the park and walking through the streets, they finally arrived at the Flynn-Fletcher home. Isabella knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

Oh, hello kids." Linda said cheerfully before opening the door. When she did, she gasped upon seeing the hysterical Phineas in Candace's arms.

"Hi Mom." Candace said sheepishly.

"What happened to my baby?" She took Phineas out of Candace's arms and held him close to her. "Why is he crying like this?"

"We had a little...issue in the park." She explained. "I'll explain when we get inside."

And so everyone entered the house and took a seat with Lawrence in the living room. Once there, Candace explained everything to Linda & Lawrence. She explained to them Phineas's strange behavior starting with him throwing Ferb's toolbox into the streets, and ending with his emotional breakdown in the park. Throughout the entire explanation, Phineas sobbed hysterical into Isabella's chest. The pain was overwhelming him.

"Well, that's just terrible." Lawrence commented as soon as Candace finished explaining.

"So he's so afraid that you would start screaming like a crazy person & become obsessed with getting him & Ferb busted that he went to such lengths to hide his daily project from you?" Linda asked, noting the crying boy that sat in Isabella's lap.

"I-I guess. But we'll have to get it from him to make sure." She gently shook Phineas to get his attention. The boy looked up, tears still streaming down his face. "Phineas?"

"D-Don't yell." He muttered.

"I'm not going to."

"Yeah, all we want is for you to tell us what happened at the park that made you so upset." Linda explained. "It isn't like you at all to get this upset at anything."

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time." Phineas managed to utter in between sniffles. He wiped tears from his eyes and looked at his mother eye-to-eye.

"What are you talking about?"

Phineas looked over at Isabella. He remembered the times where he tried to act romantically around her and it either failed miserably or she just got him to not act that way. While he was struggling to keep his composure, he couldn't help but think of that as well. "Go ahead, Phineas. It's alright." She nodded reassuringly as the boy returned his gaze to his mother.

"I-I've been struggling lately."

"Struggling with what?"

"Struggling to feel happy. Especially with my friends, family, Isabella..."

"But why Isabella? You two seem like such a great pair." Candace said. "You guys are so cute together. What's the problem?" Phineas couldn't bare to explain himself; he buried his head in Isabella's chest again, and wrapped his arms around her.

"He's been running himself ragged trying to make things romantic for us, and I think it's stemming from guilt conjured up from all those times where _I _tried to flirt with him and he wouldn't notice." Isabella explained for him. "Like, the other day, he spent an all-nighter preparing a perfect date for us, including a big breakfast, and a trip to Paris, France."

"Paris? Why Paris?"

"Well, remember when we went on our world trip to make the summer solstice an even longer day?" Candace nodded. "Well, I-I had a nightmare that night, where we were back in Paris, and Isabella was so mad at me that she vowed to hate me and make me miserable forever. I figured that by giving her at least one romantic date, she'd get over it and move on."

"But Phineas, I _did_ forget about it and I _did_ move on. You didn't. I have told you time and time again that I don't want you to go to such great lengths to make me happy."

"I-I know. But something deep down inside of me keeps telling me that I have to do it, to make you happy."

"Phineas, you and Isabella are such a great pair. If she says you don't need to so such extraordinary things to make her happy, don't you think you should listen?"

"I guess. But...then how am I supposed to make sure _you_'_re_ happy, Candace?"

"Me?"

"See, last night, I-I had another nightmare."

"Another one? What was this one about?" Linda asked.

"Ferb and I were working on one of our projects. And then Candace saw us and she went berserk. She started yelling curses at us, saying that we were complete and total psychos and that she hated us with every fiber of her being because of the "lame" stuff we did. Then, she clenched her hand hard, and punched me right in my face." Everyone gasped as Phineas began tearing up again. "Then, she turned around and poured lots of garbage on Perry and called him a portable dumpster, and then to wrap it up, she spit on Mom's tombstone."

"Oh my gosh..." Isabella could barely believe what she was hearing. Nobody could believe it, not even Candace.

"I was...dead in your nightmare?" Linda inquired.

"I didn't say that. I-I don't even remember what the circumstances were behind that. It's all too fuzzy." He wiped tears from his eyes and looked back up at his Mom. She had a look on his face that said "I want to run up to you and give you all the hugs I can", but she restrained, hoping that he could first calm down.

"And then, there was a few nights ago." He continued. "I had a dream about Isabella and I. We-We were older, and married. And we had a child."

"Aw, that's so cute." Isabella giggled. "How could anything bad come from that?"

"Well, we were playing together, and then our baby said her first words. She looked up at me and said "Daddy"." Everybody aww'ed. "And then I ran up to the bathroom and started crying."

"Why would you start crying?" Isabella asked. "I thought you would be happy."

"Because...when we grow up, I want so badly for our child's first word to be "Mommy", so she can make _you_ happy, Isabella. You deserve to be happy." Isabella wrapped her arms around the crying boy, stroked her hand down his back, and kissed him. Phineas looked up at his Mom again after leaning his head into Isabella's chest. "Mom, wh-why are you just sitting there?"

"What's that?"

"Why aren't you busy punishing Ferb and I? T-That's what Candace wants. That's what Candace has always wanted!"

"Phineas, I am not going to punish you or Ferb. Haven't we been through this before?"

"Oh come on, Mom! Get a grip! If you don't punish us, Candace is never going to get over this!" He clenched his fists and desperately tried to hold back punching Candace in the face.

"Phineas, we've already been over this. I have no more interest in busting you. The reason while I always did want to bust you was because Mom never saw what you were up to, and she thought I was insane. But now that she finally knows the truth, there's no point."

"B-But what about Perry? How will I know if you're going to insult him or not."

"I'm sorry, Phineas."

"I mean, insulting him & calling him names is one thing. But you put him out and made him run away! I can't ever forgive that! EVER!" He finally exploded and sobbed hysterically into Isabella's chest, hugging her so tightly. Isabella couldn't help it; she found herself crying as well, as did many of the others who were sitting there. "I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry!"

Isabella wanted to slap some sense into Phineas, but restrained herself, seeing the pure hurt & suffering coming from him. All she wanted to do was cradle him in his arms like he was a baby and tell him that everything was going to be alright, and watched as he slowly put on his face the cute boyish smile she fell in love with. But she knew deep down, things wouldn't be alright. She believed that they were too far down this road to go back. Even Isabella's Fireside Girls troop wanted to show their concern for Phineas, so they all went up to the sobbing boy and each gave him a big hug. Isabella joined in as well.

"Candace, honey, why don't you take Phineas upstairs and put him to bed?" Linda suggested. Candace stood up and reluctantly took Phineas into her arms and carried him upstairs. Ferb followed them. "And girls, I think it's best if you all went home." And the Fireside Girls, including Isabella, headed for the front door. "Isabella, you can stay if you want."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Isabella asked. "I mean, just look at him. Phineas is a total wreck."

"Which is why he needs all the support he can get right now." Lawrence reminded her. "He considers you a part of this family just as much as we do." Isabella nodded, and then smiled at the prospect of being considered family by her boyfriend's relatives. She hesitated as she climbed up the stairs to Phineas and Ferb's bedroom. The other Fireside Girls opted to leave, knowing that if there was anybody that knew Phineas better than anybody, it was Isabella. Linda & Lawrence stayed downstairs to talk.

"Lawrence, this is getting serious." Linda said. "Phineas has gotten really out of control."

"Maybe this isn't such a bad thing." Lawrence replied. "Phineas is finally showing some real emotions. I mean, he's always so happy and optimistic, and - while that's not a bad thing at all - it at least shows he's human."

"Stop joking around! I'm worried about my son. I think he may need...some help?"

"What do you suggest?"

"I have no idea. But if we don't do something soon, this could spiral out of our hands. We can't let that happen."

"I agree."

Meanwhile, upstairs, Phineas was lying on his bed, tears running down his face onto his pillow. Candace, Ferb, and Isabella were at his side, comforting him, trying to get him to calm down. Candace was rubbing his neck while Isabella was hugging him, crying a little herself.

"Come on, Phineas. Perk up." Candace said to her little brother. "We hate to see you like this. You're a mess."

"Please, Phineas. It'll make me happy." Isabella said in the hopes of seeing him smile. But as soon as she uttered "It'll make me happy", Phineas cried even louder. "Perhaps that was a poor choice of words." She tightened her hug and even kissed him, nuzzling against his neck. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

He was so distraught that he was unable to speak real words. Instead, he muttered and tried to calm himself down, but he was too upset. "Don't worry, my sweet prince. Everything's going to work out eventually. Just please calm down. I hate seeing you so upset."

"I think we should leave him alone." Candace suggested. "Maybe that's what he needs right now."

"But...I don't want to leave his side. I-I love him so much I can't bare to be away from him, especially when he's like this."

"Just for a little while. Then we can come back." She took her shoulder as she slowly released her grip. She led her & Ferb out of the room to give Phineas time for himself. But before leaving, Isabella ran back one more time and gave him a peck on his cheek, whispering "I love you" to him before leaving the room with them. Phineas sat there, crying, and after a while, it became for no particular reason. He just felt like crying, thinking that if he cried for his family, they wouldn't feel like doing it later on.

Downstairs, while everyone was talking, Candace was sitting by herself, thinking. She thought back to previous summers where she had yelled at Phineas & Ferb because she thought they were always ruining her day, and how one day she just took away their toolbox, preventing them from building anything for a day. (This idea wasn't mind, I'm using it from **RandomClassic49's story "All Falls Down".** Great story, by the way) Phineas went almost nuts, and Candace relished it. But now, thinking about it, she couldn't help but feel some of the pain Phineas was feeling. She felt guilty for always yelling at them and for yelling at Perry.

These thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone went off. She growled, hoping it wasn't Jeremy. But when she looked at her Caller ID, she was relieved to see it was Stacy calling. "Stacy?"

"_Hey, Candace. Just calling to see how's it going. We haven't seen each other in, like, forever._"

"I know, it feels like it's been so long."

"_Everything OK? You sound down."_

"It's just a family problem. Phineas got really upset with me in the park and had a total meltdown, and now we're just trying to get him to calm down."

_"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you. Hey, have you talked to Jeremy yet?"_

"Now that you mention it..." Candace hesitated. She did not want to tell her that Jeremy had called her and flirted with her. But, if she didn't tell her, she knew she would regret it. "He _did_ call me."

"_Really?"_

"Oh my gosh, yes! And it was horrible!"

"_What happened_?"

"You're not going to believe this, but he started flirting with me. He said that he was still madly in love with me and that how my obsession over busting my brothers turned him on. And I think he said that he found my new, non-busting persona totally unattractive." The other line was silent for a moment. Candace assumed that Stacy had hung up. "Stacy...?" Truthfully, Stacy had hung the phone up. But it was only so she could march over to the home, and slam the door open.

"He did what!" She yelped, scaring everybody.

"Stacy, what are you doing here? What's going on?" Linda asked.

"Mom, I didn't want to say anything before, but...I think Jeremy might be cheating on Stacy...with me."

"W-What?"

"So _that's_ what that call from him was about earlier." Lawrence said, putting the pieces together.

"But why would Jeremy do this? It makes no sense." Isabella said.

"We're not sure. But mark my words, I am going to get to the bottom of this!" Stacy shouted, angry at the proposition that Jeremy would be cheating on her.

"Don't you mean, _we_?"

"You want to help me, Candace?"

"Stacy, you're still my best friend, and we promised to stick by each other through thick and thin. I think this kinda classifies as "thick", or "thin", whichever one is bad. And we'll get to the bottom of Jeremy's weird behavior, or my name isn't Jennifer Love Huet! And it's not. But right now, I've gotta help Phineas. He's so down right now. I'd really love to-"

"It's OK, Candace. I understand. Family comes first. You know, I've never seen you act so motherly towards Phineas & Ferb before. In fact, I don't think I ever saw you showing them physical affection."

"Let's just say...I had a change of heart. All I know is, I have to help Phineas get through this and help him and us understand why he's so upset about this. Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Back in Antarctica, Perry and Doofenshmirtz were in the little bedroom in Doof's igloo, as Perry tried to turn on the TV made of snow. "Try all you want, Perry the Platypus. The TV isn't real. It's made out of pure snow. That's right. No picture. No reception. No HD." Perry cocked his head towards him. "I know, I know. I can't watch any of my favorites shows anymore. You know, like the one about that guy with the ridiculously small head **(Out of Toon)**, and then there's that show, "Two and a Half Men", oh Charlie Sheen is hilarious. But my favorite show of all time is this one about a trio of ducks who are best friends and all end up handicapped. **(And that's a reference to "Family Guy", episode "FOX-y Lady") **Geez, do I laugh up a storm."

The two of them sat there for a short while, in silence. Doofenshmirtz soon attempted to break the silence by whistling. But after the awkward feeling grew, he finally gave in. "Ah, that's it! This is torment! It was a stupid idea to stay here in the first place! I don't wanna miss my favorite show of all-time. Oh, Perry the Platypus, we have to get home! I can't miss "Handi-Quacks!"

Perry was ecstatic to hear that Doofenshmirtz wanted to return home. So they both ran out of the igloo and Perry led him to his hover car, or at least to where his hover car once stood. When they arrived at the spot, they discovered that his hover car was now inhabited by Eskimos. They were hungry & freezing, and they found the hover car to be very warming, and refused to give it up.

"Excuse me, sir?" Doofenshmirtz said, trying to talk the Eskimos into giving the hover car back. "Uh, hi. That car right there? Yeah, that's _our_ car. So, I'm going to have to ask you to please give it back to us."

"No." The lead Eskimo hissed, not turning his head.

"But...but we need to get home. We don't live here!"

"Not my problem." Again, he didn't turn around.

"You don't understand."

"Look, can you please leave? We're busy making this our home, and your constant blabbing is making it-" Without realizing it, he hit a button in the hover car, and without warning, it took off. The Eskimos there and Perry & Doofenshmirtz stood, looking on. The Eskimos, however, decided to just let it go and move on. But Dr. Doofenshmirtz was another story. He was completely distraught, as was Perry. The evil scientist desperately wanted to get home to see his favorite show and Perry wanted to get paid.

"Well...this could be a problem." He said as he slowly dropped his jaw to the ground. Perry let out a defeated sigh and shook his head, and now, the two nemeses now had the difficult task of finding a way out of Antarctica. "Anyway, it's getting dark. We should probably get back inside the igloo. It's cold now, but wait until the dead of night. Jeez, you do _not_ want to be caught out here without a fur coat."

**End of Episode 32!**

**I have to say, out of all the episodes I've written recently, this is one I'm really proud of. So please, tell me what you think. No flames, but criticism is welcomed.**

**Next Time: Why is Phineas so upset? Is there more to this than he's letting on, and will things ever go back to normal? Plus, will Jeremy be "busted" for cheating on Stacy? And how will Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz get out of the coldest continent in the world?**

**Expected Update: Don't expect one until at least the end of the month. I'll try to get it out earlier, but if not, then it'll probably be out by the first few days of October.**


	41. 33: PTSD

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 33: PTSD**

**Episode Summary: The Flynn-Fletcher family & Isabella go out of their way to try and make Phineas happy again. But how can they possibly do that when they don't even know what's making him so depressed? Meanwhile, Candace & Stacy get to the bottom of their whole "Jeremy" crisis, and Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz try desperately to get out of Antarctica and return home to the Tri-State Area.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_It was another glorious day. Everyone was already fully awake, and that included the Flynn-Fletcher family & the Garcia-Shapiro family. Of course, just because they were all awake doesn't mean that they were all happy. Inside the Flynn-Fletcher home, inside the room of Phineas & Ferb, a young, triangle-headed boy was busying lying on his bed, trying not to cry his eyes out.

There was a knock at his door. "Phineas?" It was Candace, and she wanted to see if she could help calm him down. He seemed so stressed out for the past couple of days, and everybody knew it. "Are you OK? Do you need anything?" She asked, but Phineas couldn't give a straight answer. He sniffled back some tears as Candace opened the door. Seeing her brother practically broken on the bed, struggling to stop crying, was a lot for her to handle. She walked up to him and gave him a big hug and kissed him on his forehead. "Oh, Phineas. If only you knew how much this upsets me."

She stood there, hugging him, for the longest time. He couldn't bare to turn around and face her, to show her the pain that was coming out of him. He simple grabbed her hands and held them close to his heart. Soon, Isabella came into the room and saw the suffering brother & sister. "Phineas?" She edged towards her best friend, and kissed him as Candace released her grip on him. "What's wrong, my sweet baby boy? Come on. Isabella's here, and she's going to make it all better."

Phineas sat up for a moment and gave Isabella and Candace a big hug, all while crying his eyes out. Isabella & Candace both returned his hug. After releasing them from his grip, Phineas lied down on the bed again and curled up into a fetal position. Isabella wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled him. "My sweet baby...Candace, we have to do something to cheer him up. I don't know what else to do."

"Maybe he just needs some more time."

"But he's been crying like this all night. I can't stand to see him like this. It makes me want to stay by his side until he calms down."

"Isabella, I think that's what he needs right now. He needs his friends. He needs you right now."

"But...what about you?"

"I'm sure he wants to see me, too. Deep down, that is. But I think right now, this is your department. After all, he does care about you. He cares a lot about you. Heck, he _loves_ you. That's why he goes out of his way sometimes to give you the day he thinks you want."

"I-I know. But you haven't seen him when he tries to make things romantic. He goes crazy. He-He goes pale in the face, he starts crying hysterically after it all boils over. He says he's so afraid that I'll get upset if his date isn't "perfect" that I'll hate him and I'll want to leave him forever."

"All because he forget your friendship anniversary?"

"It's not just that. He says he wants to make up for all those times I tried to flirt with him and he practically "flipped me off". Like when we were in Paris. He even tried to take us back there and give me everything he thought I wanted."

"But...you didn't. All you want is to spend time with him."

"Exactly! But he felt that it was the fight thing to do, an-and he nearly made himself sick doing it."

"Wow, if I were him, I'd probably be a hysterical wreck right now, too. Man, I wish I could help. But, I've got my own problems to handle right now."

"What?"

"Jeremy's been calling me non-stop since yesterday, flirting with me, telling me that I'm his soul mate and that he wants to dump Stacy and get back together with me. You should've heard some of the stuff he said." She explained in disgust, recounting the previous day's events involving "Jeremy".

"Oh man. Does Stacy know?"

"I called her and she came rushing over, and she was MAD! I told her that I would help her get this figured out in any way I can. But...I don't want to abandon Phineas when he's like this. I've always been there when he was upset. But it's never been this bad before."

"Don't worry, Candace. You go and help your friend. I'll stay here with Ferb and together, we'll come up with a way to cheer him up." Phineas let out a grunt and buried his head deeper into Isabella's chest. In response, she tightened her grip. "Shh, it's OK. I'm here. It's OK, Isabella loves you." She stroked her hand down his back and smiled as Phineas cried harder. "By the way, have you seen Perry?"

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Antarctican Igloo!**_

Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus and his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz were still trapped in Antarctica, after Perry's hover car had taken off suddenly thanks to the not-so-handy work of a grumpy Eskimo. Now, the two were forced to reside in Doofenshmirtz's igloo until they either figured out a way to get out of Antarctica, or their lives ended. Either way, neither was happy about it.

"Ah, breakfast. The most important meal of the deal." Doofenshmirtz said in an optimistic tone, trying to disguise the fact that he was boiling mad inside, mad at the fact that he was possibly trapped on a frozen wasteland forever. "And nothing says a healthy lifestyle like frozen eggs and frozen bacon and a glass of ice cold..." He lifted his glass up and looked inside, at the frozen snow that had yet to melt. "Snow." Frustrated, he slammed the glass onto the snow table, which then fell apart onto the ground, as did their "meal". "Ugh, this is torment!" He stood up from his chair, which also fell apart, and started pacing.

Perry could see that Doofenshmirtz was only going to grow more frustrated, so he got up from his chair and decided to follow him. "I can't take living in this frozen wasteland for much longer!" Doofenshmirtz growled, pacing around feverishly. "It's cold, it's dark half the time, and there's practically no technology! T-This might as well be the Ice Age again!"

He marched on outside, and Perry followed him. "That's it! We have to get home somehow. A-And not just for my favorite. I just realized that there's a new episode of my favorite show "Handi-Quacks" on tonight. Sure, yesterday was just a repeat. But I don't ever want to miss an episode. EVER! And tonight's a new one, and Norm will probably forget to tape it for me. I wonder what he's up to."

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Norm was busy watching TV. Ironic, huh? But, it didn't stop him from wondering where his boss was. "Gee, I wonder where the boss is. I haven't seen him in a few days. I hope he isn't dead."

Back in Antarctica...

"Oh, Perry the Platypus. We must do something to get out of here." Dr. Doofenshmirtz groaned. Then, he realized something; snapping his fingers, he smiled. "Wait a minute. I have an idea!" He rushed back to his igloo and got out a box, that inadvertently had many tools in it. But this box was not made of snow, nor were the contents of it. It was a real, solid box. "I was so accustomed to my new surroundings that I had forgotten about bringing this along. I packed a simple box of the finest tools & supplies so in the event that I wanted to leave, I would be able to build something that would hopefully get me off of this cursed continent. Now the only question is...what should I build? What should I build to get us the heck out of here?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, the day was in full-swing, and Candace was over at Stacy's hour, as the two were discussing ways to confront Jeremy for his "flirtatious attitude" towards Candace.

"I still don't understand why Jeremy would want to flirt with you when he's _clearly_ dating me." Stacy said angrily. "I mean, he may not be into me like he was into you, but still."

"I know, it was so weird. It was almost as if he didn't like this new "happy-go-lucky, loosened up" persona I've taken on. He said I was much more fun when I was acting all uptight and not fun, and that I was most attractive to him when I was a "take charge" woman who didn't like fun. It's like he _wanted_ me to continue pursuing my quest to bust my brothers."

"I thought Jeremy wasn't one of those jocks who acted like pigs and pursued girls for their looks instead of their personalities. Jeremy seemed so sincere and sweet. I could see why you were so into him."

"Something's wrong. Something in me is telling me that Jeremy isn't acting like himself."

"Do you think he might be coming down with something?"

"I don't know."

"I don't understand why he would like your "bust-obsessed" side. I happen to love this new, fun-loving side you have."

"Thanks, Stacy." Candace smiled. "That means a lot coming from you. And to think that we once got into an argument over my obsession with that."

"I know, right? Good times. Good times." As they were talking, they heard a noise that resembled the noise of a tractor with a wrecking ball attached to it revving up the street. "What's that?" Stacy & Candace both went up to the window and saw that down the street, there was a tractor with a wrecking ball near a house. They could also see a bunch of small figures standing around it. "It looks like a wrecking ball."

"Uh-oh. I don't like the sight of that." Candace remarked. Her "Busting urge" was not acting up, but she still felt the need to go and see what was happening and see if everything was OK. So the two girls left the house in a hurry and when they arrived, they discovered that the wrecking ball tractor was right in front of Cleveland Brown's house, with Buford and Baljeet operating it. All of the other kids, including Phineas & Ferb, were standing around it, watching. "Whoa, what is going on out here!"

Hearing that shrill voice that was her sister once again, Phineas ducked behind his girlfriend, who held him close to her. "We're trying to cheer Phineas up." Isabella replied as Stacy & Candace walked up to her.

"How? By slamming a wrecking ball into somebody's house? Wait a minute...this is Mr. Brown's house, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"OK, I get it. And...you really think this'll work?"

"Why _wouldn't_ this make him laugh?"

"Alright, then." She turned to the tractor. "Fire away, Buford!" She shouted, and Buford pulled a lever. Instantly, the ball started moving, swaying back and forth. With each swing, it swung farther and longer, until eventually, it was moved right in front of the house, and then, with one fell swoop, it crushed Cleveland Brown's house. The bathtub fell to the ground as usual, breaking on impact. But this time, Cleveland wasn't in the tub, and that left everybody perplexed.

"I don't see him." Isabella noted.

"Where is he?" Buford asked, looking all around the tractor. Finally, they heard somebody scream. So everyone on the ground looked up and discovered that Cleveland was actually on the wrecking ball, hanging on (somehow) for dear life.

"Hey, how'd you get up there!" Isabella shouted.

"I didn't agree to this!" Cleveland shouted back, scared out of his mind.

"Buford, lower the wrecking ball so Mr. Brown can get off." Baljeet instructed. Buford pulled down on the first lever he saw, not really giving much thought about it. This lever, to Cleveland's dismay, launched the wrecking ball up and above the tractor, practically pole-vaulting it. The resulting pole vault caused the string that attached the wrecking ball to the tractor to break, sending it and Cleveland across the Tri-State Area.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS SOMEDAY!" Cleveland screamed as the wrecking ball carried him across the Tri-State Area and beyond. Everybody watched on in horror as the wrecking ball disappeared out of sight.

"Buford, I do not think that was the right lever to pull." Baljeet said quietly.

"No. Really?" Buford shouted sarcastically. On the ground, Phineas wasn't sobbing hysterically anymore. In fact, he was even able to get a chuckle out of it. A light chuckle, but still. "Hey, Dilweed's laughing down there."

"Perhaps it worked."

Down on the ground, Isabella, Candace & Ferb all grew smiles on their faces, seeing & hearing Phineas laugh a little bit. "Hey, he's laughing." Isabella noted. "Maybe it's working."

"Yeah. Maybe he's forgotten about all those failures to woo you over!" Candace jumped the gun, shouting something that she should have said. She instantly covered her mouth as soon as she figured that out, but it didn't stop Phineas from tearing up again. He sniffled back a few tears, but slowly, his crying began to get worse. "That was probably a poor choice of words."

"No. Really?" Isabella said sarcastically, patting Phineas's back in an attempt to calm him down. "That's right, Phineas. Let it out, my baby. There, there, sweetie pie." She kissed his forehead several times as he cried even harder. Now, he was so upset that he even began to struggle to get out of her grip, feeling unworthy of her loving embrace. He eventually squirmed out and started running down the street. "Phineas, wait!" He ran as fast as he could and never looked back. Isabella quickly followed. "Stop! Please!" Everyone looked on in utter shock as the two kids kept running. Even Stacy & Candace were horrified.

As for Cleveland...

Back in Antarctica, Dr. Doofenshmirtz were busy working on a way to get them back to Danville. They had already built a giant cannon, a real cannon, a cannon that could shoot them out to town. "And...finished!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, turning a nut with a wrench. "Now, with this mechanical breakthrough, we will launch ourselves into the air and fly back to the Tri-State Area!" He raised his arms triumphantly, but his dreams were temporarily dashed when Cleveland, still stuck to the flying wrecking ball, came crashing down and smashed the cannon, also crushing him beneath the ball. Luckily, the soft, plush snow broke his fall (slightly). "Oh, great! Just great."

* * *

Seeing Phineas run off crying was hard for Candace to handle, so she decided to go off with Stacy to investigate Jeremy's "strange behavior". They first decided to see if he was at work. So they visited the closest Slushy Burger joint they could find. And wouldn't you know, Jeremy was right at the cash register, helping a line of customers with their orders. They hide behind a nearby bush (since the joint was outside, you know) to spy on him without being noticed.

"OK, there he is." Stacy said, as her eyes gave a "death glare" towards Jeremy's direction. "Now let's give that traitor a little peace of our minds!" She attempted to jump out and yell at Jeremy, but Candace, calm and level-headed, stopped her.

"Wait. We can't just go in there and start yelling." She said. "We'll make a scene. We have to approach this calmly."

"Hmm, you're probably right. But just promise me that if I start going crazy around him, that you'll pull me out and never speak of this to anyone."

"Sure, Stacy. Wow, I never thought you'd be this passionate about Jeremy. I thought you didn't see through his natural good looks, and that you didn't really see him as a teenage heartthrob."

"I didn't, and I still don't. In fact, if it were not for the fact that Coltrane was on a 2 year-long tour with Drake Bell and his band, I would kick Jeremy's scrawny butt to the curb."

"R-Really?"

"Yep."

"But why?"

"Because he wouldn't stop talking about you. He really missed you. And besides, when you first left, we were both really angry that you were always so obsessed with busting your brothers. So we simply said we had made out to spite you."

"So...you never did?"

"Well...n-not _that_ particular day, no. But anyway, now that you're back and you're over your obsession, I-I feel really bad about doing that to you."

"Oh, it's OK, Stacy. To tell you the truth, I would've done the same thing to you with Coltrane."

The two of them shared a laugh before Stacy spoke up again. "Y-You would?"

"...maybe. Anyway, if you really don't want to go out with Jeremy anymore, why do you want to get up in his face like this?"

"Because, Candace, my sweet, oblivious friend, it's not about the boy, it's about the principle!" She banged her fist into her other hand. "We girls have got to stand up for ourselves when we feel like we've been tricked, duped, cheated! Otherwise, the Relationship Gods will win! So, what do you suggest we do?"

"Let's hang here for a while and see what happens. That way, we'll be able to jump on the line when it shortens, and follow Jeremy should he try to leave."

"Good plan, my friend."

So the two girls spent some time behind the bush, spying on the boy they believed had crossed them both. Nothing interested happened, though, as Jeremy simple went back and forth from the register to the grill to cook up the slushy burgers. No action that called for Candace & Stacy to jump into action. Quickly, the scene was becoming boring and agitating.

"Man, this is getting ridiculous. The line keeps getting longer, and it doesn't look like it's gonna get shorter anytime soon." Candace said, hoping that Stacy had heard her even though she wasn't talking to her. Just as things were getting more frustrating, a glimmer of hope came. Another worker came out from another room and took Jeremy's place at the cash register, and Jeremy left for his break. "Oh, wait. I think our opportunity has come, Stacy. He's leaving for a break. Stacy?" She looked over to her side and saw that her friend was busy reading a magazine. She didn't even hear her friend at all. Candace sighed and proceeded to follow her ex-boyfriend.

She crept out from behind the bush and followed Jeremy closely as he left to go get a snack. Obviously, he wasn't a big fan of the food he was selling. After she felt that they were a safe distance from him, Candace decided to call out to him. "Jeremy!" She shouted. "Is that you!"

Jeremy turned around and was genuinely surprised to see his ex-girlfriend running up to him. "Candace! Oh my gosh!" He opened his arms and the two embrace, though Jeremy was the only one enjoying it. "How long has it been?"

"Uh, a month?" Candace said casually, not really in the mood for a hug, as she was still mad at him.

"Right. Anyway, it's really good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too." She responded behind gritting teeth. "So...how's your relationship with Stacy going?"

"Honestly? Oh my gosh, Candace, it is a _train wreck_!" He shouted, holding his head in agony. Candace took a step back. "We have absolutely _nothing_ in common! NOTHING! I mean, I thought we'd at least have something, like what our favorite movie is...but no! We don't even know what kind of music the other likes! It's horrible! A-And the fact that she sleeps through anything and everything that is educational and informative...oh my gosh, do you know what it's look to be next to her when she sleeps though stuff like that!"

"Unfortunately, yes." **(The Secret of Success) **"Why? Does that make you mad? Does that make you...oh, I don't know, want to break up with her?"

"Break up? Well, I'm not sure about that just yet. I mean, we need to work through this mess, and then if we can't, maybe...I'll consider it."

"So, does that mean you don't have any lingering feelings for me? None at all?"

"Um...oh, look at the time!" He checked his watch quickly. "Gotta get back to work! Bye!" And then he dashed off back to his station, still with 9 minutes in his break. Candace scratched her head, trying to figure out what had happened as Stacy came running up to her.

"Hey, Candace! Check it out!" Stacy yelled holding up her magazine. "It says here that ever since your little "rampage" last year at the Mid-Summer's Festival, "Flawless Girls" product sales have been plummeting. Blanca Dechan is even closing her stores down forever. Can you believe it!" Stacy looked at her friend, who glared at her back, tapping her foot. "I...missed our cue, didn't I?"

"By a long shot."

"So what did Jeremy say?"

"He said that things between you two weren't exactly great, and that your relationship was kinda..."rocky"."

"Well, he's not wrong. Anything else?"

"Yeah, he also said that if you guys couldn't work things out, he'd consider dumping you."

"What! Oh, that is so unfair! If he thinks he can just do that to me, he is sourly mistaken! Where is he now?"

"He went back to work. I asked him if he still had feelings for me, and he darted back to his station. Obviously, he still likes me, but he doesn't want to hurt your feelings."

"He should've thought of that before he got all flirty with you on the phone. Now come on! Let's get him!" She clenched her fists and turned around, attempting to go and pummel Jeremy into a pulp, but Candace restrained her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!" Candace shouted, holding her back. "Stacy, you can't just barge in there and attack him. You have to wait until there's nobody around. That way, there are no witnesses around."

"Ahh, I get it."

* * *

Back in Antarctica, Dr. Doofenshmirtz & Perry were trying to figure out another way to get out of the cold, harsh, unforgiving continent. "OK...so our giant cannon is a bust. There has to be another way." He paced around and almost tripped over his toolbox. "Whoops! I have to be more careful. I could've tripped myself over this thing. Hmm, wait. That gives me a little idea..."

Doofenshmirtz whispered to Perry his new plan, and the two of them instantly got to work. With the very little supplies that he had with them, the two were able to build...a boat. It was a small boat, and it didn't have a powerful engine or anything. But it was the best that they had. "There. Done. I-It's not very big...or powerful. In fact, the only way to move it is to row with these oars." He held up two oars that were made purely of snow. "But, it's better than nothing, right? Now come on. Into the BO-AT!"

They pushed the boat into the water and jumped in, making sure to get the toolbox and the oars before they left. "Now row, Perry the Platypus! Row like the wind!" Doofenshmirtz shouted as he and Perry began rowing like crazy. Seriously, they were rowing so fast that they...went in a complete circle several times in a minute. "Yes! It's working! It's working! We're rowing away from the land...and, here it comes again. We-We're coming back to the land for some reason. We-We're not-P-Perry the Platypus! S-Stop! Stop! Just stop." Perry stopped rowing. "It occurs to me that we are rowing our BO-AT in circles. We haven't really made any distance from the land."

Doofenshmirtz put the oar in the boat and pouted for a while. "There has to be some way to do this. Let's see...how do we properly steer a BO-AT? Oh wait a minute. I've got it!" He pulled out a book from his toolbox, entitled "Water Navigation: If You Can Read This, Then You Too Can Steer a Boat" and opened it up to the first page. "Ah, OK. I see the problem. It says here that if we want to keep our boat going straight in the direction we want to go, we're going to have to row at the same time. Yeah. Same time. OK, now all we have to do is figure out which direction is Danville. Once we figure that out, then we're good to go."

Doofenshmirtz took a good look out into the ocean to figure out where his home town was. "Of course, we _are_ about...several thousand miles away from the Tri-State Area. So...yeah, this is going to be difficult. That is why I have an alternative program." Perry raised an eyebrow, awaiting this alleged "plan" he had. "HEEEEEELLPPP!" Doofenshmirtz screamed at the top of his lungs. The force of the scream caused Perry to cover his ears. "OH FOR PETE SAKE, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP US! WE'RE COLD, TIRED, AND HUNGRY! OK, mostly just cold, but still, AAHHHHHHH!" Perry rolled his eyes while the scientist continued screaming.

Perry pressed a button on his watch, the very button that activated his "Red Alert Distress Signal". The signal was sent out back to the Tri-State Area, where his headquarters lay. Monogram & Carl would be receiving the signal any moment. Now, all the mattered was waiting the cold out, hoping that they wouldn't freeze to death before the help arrived.

* * *

Back in the Tri-State Area, Isabella was looking frantically for Phineas. The boy, even in his slightly deranged, exhausted state, was still much lighter on his feet and much faster than Isabella was. He was easily able to get out of her line of vision. "Phineas! Where are you? If you can hear me, scream!" Nothing. She grew more frantic, as the search became desperate. She searched all over town, and for a while, she had no luck finding him.

As for Phineas, he wasn't actually that far away. He was sitting in a dark alleyway deep into town, crying. All the stress of trying to make his girlfriend happy, all the stress he suffered trying to please Candace, all of it was finally too much for him. He simply sat there and cried. He wanted to turn around and go home, but feared that his efforts to please everybody would fail again.

_**Ten miles from town and I just broke down**_  
_**Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road**_  
_**I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home**_  
_**To tell you I was wrong but you already know**_

Isabella heard the sniffling back of tears as she approached the alleyway. She looked in and saw her boyfriend, broken and miserable on the ground. A tear fell from her eye watching the boy suffer so. She edged closer to him, and attempted to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. As she got closer to him, his crying softened up, as if he was sensing her presence there. She sat down and nuzzled her head into his neck.

_**Believe me I won't stop at nothin'**_  
_**To see you so I've started runnin'**_

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
As long as I'm laughin' with you  
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after  
After the life we've been through  
'Cause I know there's no life after you  
**_

"Oh, Phineas..." She said softly, nuzzling to get more comfortable. Phineas sniffled and held back some more tears. Isabella lifted her head so Phineas could bury his in her chest. "Please stop crying. You have no idea how upset this is making me."

He turned his head to her, and wiped some tears from his eyes. "But...But what about _me_? Don't _I_ ever get a chance to be upset?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's like, everybody else just expects me to put on a happy face. They don't expect to see me upset in any way, or be frustrated in any way. A-And to tell you the truth, I'm pretty frustrated right now."

"Phineas, nobody _expects_ you to be happy all the time. You just choose to be happy all the time, and it's worked for you up until now. Come on. You don't really feel that way, do you?"

He sniffled and put his arms around her. "No. No I don't."

"Then what's really bothering you? Come on. You can tell me."

He released his grip, stood up, and started pacing around. He held back tears & fought the overwhelming urge to just burst out into tears on the ground. He knew Isabella would not like it, but he couldn't help himself.

_**Last time we talked, the night that I walked**_  
_**Burns like an iron in the back of my mind**_

"The past few days, I-I've really been trying to put my life into perspective. I've been thinking a lot about my relationships. You know, with my friends, my family, and even you." He walked slowly to his girlfriend and hugged her tightly, letting tears flow down his cheeks. "Having Candace back from military school really shook my world up."

"I could tell. You were a nervous wreck yesterday, and today you're not much better."

"I swore to myself all those years ago that when I committed to "seizing the day" and making every summer day the best day I could, I would do it just for the fun of it. Not because anybody told me to, but because _I_ wanted to. And nothing Ferb and I ever did got us in trouble. But ever since last summer, things have been changing. I mean, last summer, Candace bossed Ferb and I around and forced us to build a state-of-the-art fort, and then when she saw it, she freaked out and said that we didn't come through for her. I felt so bad, even though she didn't really see the whole thing."

"That was her loss."

"And then there was the whole "you/me" issue."

"Uh-huh..."

"Like, how I've been struggling to give you a day of romance because deep down, I truly believe that's what you want. Even though you tell me that you're not mad at me for not noticing your flirts before, I still just can't let it go. Deep down, unless I give you such a wonderful day, I've failed."

"That's ridiculous, Phineas."

_**I must've been high to say you and I**_  
_**Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time**_

"And if I don't do everything in my power to keep Candace happy & not angry in any way, then she'll crack and go after me."

"That's crazy, Phineas. Your sister loves you. Sure, she might be a bit...a lot high-strung, and she may seem out to get you at times, but I bet deep down, she's only thinking about your safety. If she didn't care, she wouldn't be obsessed with you all the time."

"I guess your right. Still, it just seems like she doesn't like Ferb and I and she doesn't think any of our projects are fun."

"Oh, I agree. That's what it seems like. But I bet there's more to it than that. She cares about you and Ferb very much, and she doesn't want to see you get hurt...just like me."

_**Oh, why did I ever doubt you?**_  
_**You know I would die here without you**_

"Isabella, I'm so sorry for putting you and everyone else through all of this. I know there are tons of other things you'd rather be doing with your day."

"Are you still on that? Well, Phineas, you couldn't be more wrong. There's only one thing I'd really want to spend my day doing, and there's only one person I really want to spend it with."

"Who?"

"You're sitting right here." She said sweetly, embracing him warmly and even giving him a few kisses. "Phineas, I don't think you really understand how much I care about you. I want to do everything I can to see you happy again. Ever since we became friends as little kids, I've been madly in love with you. I've been dreaming of the day where we get married & start a family of our own. I love you so much, Isabella."

"Why do you still care about me? After everything I've put you through, after all the times I ignored you and didn't notice your feelings for me, I thought you would be ready to beat me to a pulp or put me down until I decided that I was a total failure.

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter**_  
_**As long as I'm laughin' with you**_

"Do you honestly think I'm like that, or do you just think that that will solve our problems?"

"The 2nd one. After all, you've proven you _are_ the better half of this relationship."

"Oh, Phineas. You are so depressed. It breaks my heart to see you like this." She tightened her embrace and gave him a few more kisses. Tears fell from the boy's eyes, as he struggled to hold back sobs.

_**I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after**_  
_**After the life we've been through**_  
_**'Cause I know there's no life after you**_

"Please, Isabella. Y-You have to let me take you on a romantic date. Please, just one. That's all I ask. Then, I'll be one step closer to fulfilling my life-long debt to you for always making you miserable. And then, when we get back, I'll do whatever it takes to get myself and Ferb in trouble to make Candace happy, because if she's happy, and you're happy, then I'm happy, even if deep down, I feel like jumping off a cliff."

"See, that's your problem, Phineas." She stood up and helped him up. Taking his hand, she slowly led him out of the alleyway into the sunlight. "You try too hard, and you always think of others. You never take time to take care of yourself our tend to your own needs. That's why you always get upset and you always get stressed out. Someday, you're going to end up in the hospital, sick and dying, because of your behavior. You need to relax. You don't have a "lifelong debt" to commit to me as far as feeling sorry for the earlier times. Just relax now and treat me like you've always treated me."

"I'm sorry. I really am."

"I know you're not out to hurt anybody. I just want you to calm down and see that you're going to hurt yourself. I think that you're seriously just in desperate need of some sleep and desperate need of somebody to hold you and tell you that they love you." She noted his half-dead looking eyes; bloodshot, black, lifeless, it was as if she was talking to a zombie. "Maybe it would help you if you talked this out with a professional. I have a therapy session with my mom this afternoon, and I'll ask her if you could come with us...if you want to, of course?"

"S-Sure. M-Maybe that's exactly what I need." He embraced her now and gave her some kisses. "Isabella...y-you'll never hate me, will you?"

"I will always love you. That you can be sure of." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed again, and for the first time in a while, he had a genuine smile on his face, as he returned the hug and the kiss. He even let out a small laugh as the two started walking back to their home, where Isabella got ready for her therapy appointment with her mom, and alerted the Flynn-Fletcher family of what was happening.

_**You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one**_  
_**After this time I spent alone**_  
_**It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind**_  
_**Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind**_  
_**So I'm runnin' back to tell you**_

Phineas told the therapist everything that he had been feeling up to that point. Everything from the feelings he had of letting Isabella down because he never noticed her advances on him to his feelings of guilt for making Candace suffer throughout the summers he had spent with Ferb. Everything was fair game, and Phineas didn't hesitate to lay it all on the table. He finally felt ready to express himself, recounting every single hurtful experience he had went through, and even those that weren't hurtful. Meanwhile, the family, including Candace, as well as Isabella & Vivian, waited patiently outside.

"Isabella, this was a wonderful idea." Linda said, comforting Isabella while waiting for Phineas to come out. "It's about time Phineas got to the heart of his emotional issues, and this was just what he needed."

"How were you able to convince your therapist to take Phineas in, anyway?" Lawrence asked her.

"Oh it was easy. He said that any friend of mine is a friend of his. Well that, and he heard Phineas crying in the hallway here."

"That was nice of him."

"I hope there's not something wrong with my little brother." Candace said. "I'd be devastated if something happened to be wrong with him."

"Candace, don't worry." Linda said reassuringly. "I'm sure he's just fine. He's growing up, so he's probably just going through a strong...emotional phase here." The door opened, and Isabella's therapist, a small, slender man in a gray suit, as well as Phineas, stepped out of the room. Phineas saw his family there, and tears starting forming in his eyes as he rushed up to them and gave each of them a big hug, giving the biggest hug of all to Candace. "Phineas, are you OK?"

"I do feel a lot better now." Phineas said with a smile on his face. It lit up everybody's face to see him smile again. "Maybe this was just what I needed after all, and as soon as we get home, I'm crawling into bed because I am beat." He yawned and rubbed his exhausted eyes as Isabella hugged him softly.

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah**_

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
As long as I'm laughin' with you  
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after  
After the life we've been through, yeah  
Know there's no life after you**_

_****_

Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you  
Know there's no life after you, yeah

_**"So doctor, what's the diagnosis?" Ferb inquired.**_

"Well, let me start by saying that you have a wonderful child with you. You've obviously raised him very well." The therapist said, patting Phineas on the head as he climbed up into Candace's arms. "He's very sweet & gentle."

"Don't forget fragile." Isabella added.

"Well, I kinda figured that out before he even came in. But anyway, he told me a lot of interesting things in there, and it's obvious he has a very...loving, yet strained relationship with some of you. He told me all about the wild adventures he has had with his stepbrother..."

"That would be me." Ferb intruded again.

"And how his mother went "Ape" on him and screamed at him for apparently "having an imagination"."

"That wasn't a fun time for us." Linda said, recounting that incident.

"And then, of course, there was the relationship with his sister, Candace."

"That's me, sir." Candace said, raising a hand slightly.

"Yes, he told me all about that."

"And..."

Well, based on what we talked about, and the recent events in his life, I have come to a conclusion. I warn you though, this might take you by surprise. I deduce that your boy is suffering from a mental illness known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Everybody gasped as he said this.

"Post-What?" Linda questioned, having never heard of the mental illness before.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Candace said flatly, amazed at how little Linda knew about military background, considering she had gone to military school herself. "It's a mental illness war soldiers usually suffer from, caused by the threat of death to oneself or to someone else, or to one's own or someone else's physical, sexual, or psychological integrity, overwhelming one's ability to cope. It happens after one suffers through something that causes psychological trauma."

"And you believe that this summer's events that Phineas has gone through has given him this mental illness?" Lawrence asked the therapist.

"I don't see how else it's possible."

"Well, what can we do?"

"Well, each case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is different and can be treated differently. Now, Phineas's case is only mild, but you must exercise caution. It could spiral out of control in a flash and he could have another "episode", no pun intended."

"What do you suggest?" Linda asked.

"Well, for one, he seemed physically exhausted while I was talking to him, so I suggest that for the next few days, he should take it easy, and watch his strength. If at any point he becomes weak, he should stop whatever he's doing."

"You better listen to him, Phineas." Isabella said in a "motherly" tone, hands on her hips. "He knows what he's talking about." But she softened up, smiled, and hugged him.

"Second, I also noticed that he is very sensitive to certain issues, such issues involving his friends and family. He explained everything to me, and I'm warning you that if he becomes upset, he may go off again. He is a very kind & sweet boy, yet with a fragile center. So I want you all to show him as much love & affection as possible."

"Are you saying that my baby brother is...a crybaby now?" Candace asked.

"No, that's not what it means at all. Phineas's sensitivity may be caused be the trauma he may have suffered in his life. There may be times where he thinks about this, and the stress & anxiety overwhelms him, and he just needs to let it out. There may also be times where he doesn't really understand why he's so upset & why he wants to cry."

"And that's...normal?"

"Completely normal."

"Then we'll be there every step of the way to help comfort him." Ferb said, walking up to Candace who was still holding Phineas in her arms.

"You are such a model family...and friends." He noted Vivian & Isabella. "And I must say that I have never seen such a bond between stepbrothers than you and Phineas." He said to Ferb.

"Well, a brother is a brother, and I couldn't ask for a better one." Ferb tussled Phineas's shirt playfully, mimicking the exact words Phineas spoke on the day of their very first major project: The Rollercoaster.

"Thanks, Ferb. That means a lot." Phineas said, wiping tears from his eyes and smiling. Vivian paid the therapist his usual fee as they all left.

"Thank you so much again, for everything." The mother said on her way out. As the family went to their respective cars, Isabella was hesitant to ask her mom if she could ride with Phineas. And even though her mother assured her that she could, Isabella still opted to go with her mother.

"Thanks, guys. For everything." Phineas said as he got into the car. He kissed Isabella goodbye before hoping in. "I haven't felt this good & happy in a while."

"It's good to see you smiling again." Candace said as she prepared to get into the car too. "I'd rather have an overly-optimistic brother than a sad, depressed little brother any day."

"Thanks, Candace. Coming from you, that means an awful lot."

"CANDACE!" A voice in the distance shrieked angrily. Everybody exited their respective cars to see who it was, and they were all surprised to see an angry Jeremy coming down the sidewalk, with Stacy tugging at him, trying to get him to stop.

"J-Jeremy?" Candace questioned as the boiling boy approached him, Stacy still tugging.

"I'm sorry, Candace. I accidentally told him why we were mad at him, and he got all upset. I couldn't stop him." She explained, finally letting go and falling back onto the ground.

"Is it true? Are you really making up lies about me?"

"Lies!" Now Candace was mad. She edged closer to him and glared. "What lies?"

"About me calling you and flirting with you behind Stacy's back!"

"But it's true. I even have the messages on my phone." She took out her cellphone and played back the message Jeremy had allegedly left her. "_You know, you'd actually be less attractive to me without that pole up your butt." _"And that's only part of the message you left me."

"What? That wasn't me." He said in a cocky tone, crossing his arms and pouting. Although he was technically telling the truth, his cocky attitude wasn't selling his case very well. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't make so many dumb accusations. Just because I dumped you doesn't mean you get to act like an uptight little dike whose soul purpose is to bust her brothers and make them miserable. I bet that's why you escaped from where ever you were. To bust your brothers. That's what you've always wanted to do. FYI, your brothers aren't even worth your time." Everybody gasped, even Phineas. The boy had tears forming in his eyes again, and Candace quickly grew even angrier. The last thing she wanted to see was someone she cared about being upset.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, you shouldn't have said that." Stacy said quietly.

"Why? It's true-"

"How dare you, you miserable little troll!" She screamed at him, getting in his face. He started backing up and she started closing in. "For your information, I have ceased my obsessive urge to bust my brothers! I have realized that what they do isn't hurting anybody, and that I was only making myself miserable by obsessing over them. And as for YOU!" She stuck her finger in his face. "How dare you come up here and accuse me of telling such lies and saying that my brothers aren't worth anything!"

"That's no-"

"Don't interrupt me, skunkbag! I can't believe I was ever into somebody as rotten as you. You never cared about me! Our relationship was a lie!"As she shouted, Jeremy tripped and fell to the ground. "Let me tell you something, buster! And listen up, 'cause I'm never saying this again. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY comes up to me like that and insults my brothers or anybody I know and love! We are OVER! Get it! Done! I was never in a relationship with you."

"Uh, yeah you were. Don't act so-"

"Nope. Can't recall it. Ever. Nope."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult your brothers. That's not what I meant."

"Oh, don't start with that crap! You totally meant it! Just like you totally meant to betray me and go behind my back and go out with Stacy."

"Well, fine, then. I'm tired of trying to please someone who is so un-fun such as yourself. Besides, at least Stacy's still loyal to me!" He looked smugly in Stacy's direction, and when he caught her angry glare, he had a realization. "We're over, aren't we?"

"Big time." She said plainly, walking over to Candace. "Now, I suggest you get out of here now before Candace goes A-wall on you." Jeremy didn't hesitate. He turned around and dashed out of the scene before anyone could say anything more. Stacy turned to Candace. "Candace, I'm sorry things didn't work out for you."

"You? I'm sorry things didn't work out for you."

"Aw, that's OK. I was gonna dump him anyway."

"So are we cool?"

"Yes. Yes we are. It's too bad though. I guess we'll never really know the truth about those weird calls."

"Yeah, I guess not."

After saying her goodbyes, Candace got into the car as did everybody else. They all drove off back to Maple Drive, with their thoughts happy & their minds clear. They all settled back into their homes (Vivian went back to her house while Isabella stayed with the Flynn-Fletchers for a little while longer). Phineas & Ferb went upstairs with Isabella following, while Candace, Linda & Lawrence stayed downstairs to talk.

Upstairs, Ferb had gotten changed into pajamas quickly and did not take long to fall asleep in his bed. Meanwhile, Phineas & Isabella decided to stay up a big longer, looking out the window at the clear summer sky. Pitch dark with lots of twinkling stars, and not a cloud in the sky.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Isabella said, looking up at the sky.

"Yes. Yes it is. In fact, it's the _second_ most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Phineas responded.

"Second most? What's the first?"

"She's right beside me." He kissed her, making her laugh. Her laugh made him smile like nothing else.

"Right back at you, Phineas." She returned the kiss, making him laugh as well.

"Say, Isabella, if I haven't already told you this...thank you, for everything. For everything you've done to help me feel happy again."

"You're welcome, Phineas. And don't worry, if you ever feel like you need to cry, and you need somebody to comfort you, you can always come to me."

"I'll remember that. Thanks. So...we still have a couple of hours before our bedtime. Do you want to do anything else before we go to sleep?"

"Just one." Her smile grew wide, knowing exactly what she had wanted to do. Phineas wasn't catching on, he was confused out of his mind. But it all became clear to him as soon as Isabella performed her next action. She reached her hand down, grabbed Phineas's butt, and squeezed it tightly. Phineas let out a gasp, opened his eyes, but then slowly relaxed as his breathing slowed. He was enjoying it very much. "Enjoying yourself."

"Yep. It feels like it's been forever since you've done this."

"Actually, it's only really been a few days. But it's well overdue."

"Oh yeah. That feels good." But then he tried to break away for his bed, and was surprised when Isabella refused to let go of her grip on his rear end. "Uh, Isabella? I'm ready to go to bed now. Can you let go?"

"But I'm not done yet." She said, not moving from where she was. Instead, she simply tightened her grip on him. Phineas sighed and decided to wait until his girlfriend chose to let him go. It was time to play the waiting game, but that would prove to be a difficult task. He waited for about 25 minutes before asking her again. He yawned loudly, trying to signal to her that he was tired. "Are you ready to let me go?"

"No." She said proudly, tightening her grip on him again. So he continued waiting. After about 40 minutes total had passed, he asked again.

"How about now?"

"Almost..." She yet again tightened her grip.

Finally, after over an hour and 15 minutes of waiting, Phineas had had enough. He was so tired that all he could think about was sleep. So, he closed his eyes. Dropping his head onto Isabella's shoulder, and started snoring really loudly, much louder than he had ever snored in his entire life, and immediately began drooling on her shoulder. Isabella looked over and saw his snoring boyfriend, and was shocked to hear just how loud it was. And things got even worse for her when he, without even realizing it, turned his head so his mouth was right next to her ear, literally about 1/8 of an inch away from touching it, so now she was receiving the full impact of his snoring.

He wasn't intentionally doing this to annoy her for making him wait so long, though subconsciously, it did cross his mind, and he was snoring so loudly and it was hurting her ears so much that she didn't really think of anything else. She was annoyed and attracted to it at the same time. Finally, she decided to pick him up and carry him to his bed, where she laid him on his stomach, and tucked him under the blankets.

"Well, it looks like things are back to normal." She whispered as she kissed him by his forehead and tapped his butt. He snorted. "Good nice, my prince." She said as she made her way out of his window, back to her home. For now, things were the way they should be, and nothing was going to change that. (If you didn't understand any of what had just happened, please refer to my other fanfiction, **The Talk**)

* * *

**During the Credits**

Meanwhile, Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz were still in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, desperately waiting for someone to help them. By now, they were both freezing to death. They couldn't take much more of it. But at least, after long hours of waiting, Major Monogram & Carl showed up in the O.W.C.A's hover car to rescue them.

"Agent P!" Monogram shouted.

"Yes! We're saved. At last!" Doofenshmirtz shouted between stutters. "W-Where h-have you be-been?"

"We just received Perry's distress signal." Carl explained proudly. Perry held up a card that read "But I sent that hours ago!"

"Uh, we had some technical difficulties. Terribly sorry. But, we're here now, and we're getting you guys out of here." Monogram said as Perry & Doofenshmirtz hopped in.

"Thank goodness. That new episode of Handi-quacks isn't supposed to start for another hour and a half, so we're good on time."

"You actually like that show? If you ask me, it's just a bunch of bologna."

"I d-disagree. I-It's actually a p-p-pretty f-funny show." Doofenshmirtz was barely able to make his sentence our due to excessive shivering from the cold.

"This, coming from a man who's freezing his hamstrings off after having fled to Antarctica because he was afraid of getting blasted by a half-skinned man." Monogram took a shot at Doofenshmirtz and then turned back to steering his hover car. After having time to thaw out a bit, Doofenshmirtz spoke up again.

"You know, eventually I'm going to thaw out, but your name will still be Francis."

**End of Episode 33!**

**Hope you liked the "Cliptastic Countdown" reference and the "Family Guy" reference at the end. Oh, and the song I used was entitled "Life After You" by Chris Daughtry.**

**Next Time: Phineas takes a day off, Ferb goes on a blind date, and Candace falls in love with a bad boy. All this will Dr. Doofenshmirtz gets a "dream come true" if you can't my drift. And if you don't, well, then you'll just have to wait and see.**

**Expected Update: Sometime in October, hopefully. Having come down with a cold & my overwhelming school work has hindered my updating rate. So please be patient.**


	42. 34: Phineas Flynn & the Stone of Destiny

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 34: Phineas Flynn and The Stone of Destiny (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: Isabella forces Phineas to take a day off, and, thanks to one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's inventions, they both find themselves in the most exciting adventures of their lives. Meanwhile, Ferb dabbles into the world of blind dating, and Candace falls in love with a bad boy.**

**A/N: This, and the next episode, are a "Harry Potter" parody, at least the parts involving Phineas & Isabella are. I was going to make it into a separate fanfic. But then I thought "What the hell? Let's go for it". Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Oh, and the franchise of _Harry Potter_ does not belong to me either.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

__**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

It was another day in the Tri-State Area, and just several minutes before the hour of 7. Even though there were dark clouds covering the skies, there wasn't a raindrop in sight. That, however, didn't stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz from concocting another evil scheme. He was hard at work in his lab when his clunky assistant Norm came into the room. He said nothing and stood motionless at the door, yet Doofenshmirtz could sense his presence anyway.

"What do you want, Norm?" He asked, noting taking his eyes off his work.

"I'm bored." The robot replied. Doofenshmirtz dropped his equipment, took his new ray gun with him, and took it over to Norm.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Let me play with your ray thing."

"No. I can't. Because this isn't any ordinary ray. This is my latest invention...I call it the "Dream-inator 2.0...inator. You see, with one pull of the trigger, it unleashes a powerful ray that puts anybody I choose into a deep sleep, and the resulting sleep can also cause that part of their brain that produces dreams to go out of whack."

"Sounds like a barrel of fun, sir."

"It is, for me. The only things is that I have to shoot this up into the air and wait for it to drop down on somebody. You know, like a cannonball. But the good news is that it can pass through walls with ease so I don't have to open a window or something. Just watch." He aimed the gun up and shot a blast up into the air, a blast that went right through the ceiling. "There. Now, in a few moments, the lucky victim, or victims, that are hit with this blast, will be subjected to a deep sleep filled with strange and unimaginable dreams beyond the capability of ordinary thinking." He crossed his arms smugly.

Without realizing it, he had aimed the ray at himself. "See? I've still got it." And of course, then he pulled the trigger, and was hit with a blast of his own creation. "Aw, m-man. That's great. Hit by my own device." He said sarcastically. "Whoa. I feel sleepy all of a sudden. My eyelids are becoming heavy, and I suddenly have the urge to-" Before he could say another word, he fell flat on his back, unconscious. Norm pulled out a pillow from his chest compartment and put it under Doofenshmirtz's head.

"Nighty-night, sir." He said, leaving the room, not knowing the true effects of Doofenshmirtz's ray.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, things on Maple Drive were getting busy. The Flynn-Fletcher family, packed in the car, with the exception of Phineas, were ready to head off into town. Linda was talking to Isabella, who had volunteered to look after Phineas.

"OK, all of our numbers and the emergency numbers are on the fridge, and there's a frozen pizza in the fridge for you guys to share later." Linda explained. "I'm off to Stoolbend High to see if I can't get them to consider letting Candace back in when the school year starts, Mr. Fletcher is taking Candace to the park, and we're gonna drop off Ferb at his annual "We Are the British United" club. And you're sure your mother is OK with this?"

"Oh sure, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." Isabella responded gleefully, enjoying the prospect of babysitting Phineas all by herself. "My mom had to take my dog, Pinky, to the vet anyway. He ate some moldy chilli and he couldn't stop throwing up."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's OK. It shouldn't be anything the doctors can't fix."

"Well, good. Now, have fun with Phineas. And go easy on him today."

"Of course. I'm a little obsessive about him, but I'm not psychotic." She assured her. The car slowly backed out as Isabella waved to them. As soon as they headed up the street, she cheered happily and clapped her hands little a giddy schoolgirl. "Yes! They're gone. Finally, a whole summer day with Phineas, all to myself! At last, his creative mind, undying optimism, and his cute butt are all mine!" She rushed back into the house, locking the front door, and raced upstairs.

She opened the door slowly & carefully, and for a few moments, she simply stood there, staring at the love of her life, who was laying on his stomach, snoring away & drooling all over his pillow. She felt goose bumps all over her body as she watched him sleep, and after a short time, slowly edged up to him. "Phineas?"

"I don't snore...!" He mumbled as he lazily opened his eyes. The first thing his blurred vision saw was his girlfriend. "Isabella?"

"Morning, sleepy head." She kissed him on the forehead.

"Where is everybody?" He noticed the abscence of his family.

"They all went out. Your mom's off to Candace's high school to see if she can't get her back in, your dad's taking Candace to the park, and Ferb's off to his "British Union" meeting. Oh, and Perry's downstairs eating breakfast."

"So...aside from Perry, you and I are all alone today?"

"Yep."

"Wow. So..."

"That's right. We can do anything we want to do. So, what _do_ you want to do?"

"Considering I still feel a little winded, how about we just..." He gulped, hesitating to say the next word. "Relax?"

"You mean that?" Isabella was delighted that Phineas had finally said a word she had wanted him to say. "You really don't feel like doing anything today?"

"I figured that if I get a Do-Nothing Day out of the way now, then I wouldn't have to cut any future projects short because of my condition."

"That's some smart thinking, there. Now you can just, I don't know, stay in bed and nap all day if you want to."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there." He stopped her in her tracks, fearful of what Isabella had in mind. "You only want me to stay in bed because you want to see me lay on my stomach so you can take inappropriate pictures of me and stare at my butt, don't you?"

"That is...true." She was going to argue his statement, but alas, it was true, and she still planned on doing it even though he already knew about it.

"Remind me never to wear tights in front of you, or else you're gonna have a field day with me." She blushed and looked away in embarrassment. "Wait, don't be embarrassed, Isabella. We talked about this, and I told you that when we're alone, you can knock yourself out with me and have all the fun you want."

"I know that, and I appreciate it." Phineas sat up from his bed and hugged the girl, the both of them smiling. "By the way," She pulled slightly from his warm embrace. "Sorry about that mean trick I played on you last night before bed."

"You mean the way you had me standing by the window and you wouldn't let go of me, and eventually I fell asleep on you? It's OK. I wouldn't necessary call that "mean". I'll have a good laugh about it sometime in the future, and who knows? Maybe someday, I just might pull the same trick on you."

"If it makes you feel any better, when you finally did fall asleep, you snored so loudly directly into my ear that it cracked my eardrums a little. And, the whole night, Pinky was throwing up because he got into some of our moldy chili that my mom never got around to throwing out. That, combined with being able to hear you from my house gave me an unpleasant night."

"Yikes. So you didn't sleep at all?"

"Probably not as much as you did."

"Well, then..." He pulled off his blankets and turned on his stomach. Isabella's eyes opened widely as he did this. She was stunned to see her best friend willingly turn on his stomach like he did. "Get comfortable."

"What are you talking..." She gasped. Suddenly, the **Talk** that she and Phineas had a couple weeks earlier, as well as his motioning made sense to her. She was delighted, knowing what he meant, yet surprised & curious at the same time. "Phineas, a-are you sure about this?" She asked.

"I told you, when we're alone, anything is fair game. So come on. We're not gonna catch up on our Z's by just sitting here and talking, are we?"

"I...guess not." She slowly climbed into bed and made herself comfortable near Phineas's rear end, staring at it for a few minutes, which they both enjoyed. At first, she was hesitant. But a reassuring smile from her boyfriend lifted her spirits as she slowly rested her head right in the middle of his butt, and placed a hand on one of his butt cheeks. Phineas smiled, getting the warm, fuzzy feeling that he always gets when Isabella touches him in a way that everyone else would think is "inappropriate".

"Comfy?" He asked as he yawned and rested his head on his pillow.

"Hold it." She responded quickly. Phineas sat up and looked down at Isabella to see what the problem was. Isabella quickly reacted, by grabbing his shorts & underwear, and pulling them down to expose his naked butt to her. Phineas & Isabella were now both blushing, Isabella blushing harder, as she gave in to her urges, taking out her cell phone on camera mode and taking several pictures of it. Then she stared at it for a moment, tapping it several more times, before resting her head once again in the middle of it, with her hands placed firmly on his respective butt cheeks, squeezing them as tightly as she could. "Now I'm comfortable."

"You know I still don't really understand how you're so OK with letting me treat you like this, you know, in a...strange kind of way. But I want you to know that I do appreciate this a lot. Ever since that night where your clothes accidentally came off and I saw that naked butt of yours for the first time, my feelings for you have become unexplainable."

"I can't really describe how I feel about you, physically or emotionally. I mean, I know it may seem weird for you because it may seem like I have only a physical attraction to you. But I still love you for the caring, cute, & cuddly boy you are inside. And I know you feel the same way." She yawned. "Right, Phineas?"

She waited for a response from him, not even budging from her spot. But, the first & only sound she heard was his loud snoring. She opened her eyes & peered over to see him, noticing that his eyes were shut, his mouth was wide open, and he was snoring loudly (though considerably softer than the night before), and drooling on his pillow. She was once again surprised at how quickly he fell asleep and at how bad his snoring really was. Nevertheless, she found it both cute & attractive, seeing it as just a big turn-on for her. "Boy, I'll never understand how he can fall asleep so quickly, or how he can look so attractive while he sleeps...despite all of...this."

She leaned in quickly and gave him a peck on his forehead, near his freckles. Phineas stirred around and snorted, but eventually settled back down. Satisfied, she settled down back onto his butt, grasped his cheeks tightly, closed her eyes, and allowed the effects of the "Dream-inator" to take her, falling asleep peacefully... (Sorry if you didn't like any of the above. But it's my story, so please kindly respect it.)

* * *

Meanwhile, out in the park, Candace & Lawrence were having a wonderful father/daughter day. Relaxing on a park bench, they sat and watched people as they walked by, and enjoyed their ice cream. The sky had cleared up considerably since the early morning.

"Boy, it's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Lawrence said looking up at the sky.

"It sure it. Man, it is good to be back in Danville." Candace licked her ice cream. "All that time confined in a military school made me realize just how fortunate I am to have my family."

"Glad to hear it, and I'm definitely glad to see that you've gotten over your obsession over your brothers."

"Me too. That obsession was ruining my life. Now that I know that Phineas & Ferb know what they're doing and are being careful about it, I can spend the rest of this glorious summer worrying about what's really important."

"And what would that be?"

"Finding some other cute boy to crush on to replace the hole in my heart Jeremy left. I can't believe he cheated on Stacy, then called me a lair, _and_ insulted me & my brothers in front of everybody. I should've seen him for the jerk he really was."

"There, there, Candace." Lawrence patted her on the shoulder. "We all go through a heartbreak at one point in our lives. The important thing is that you get over it eventually and move on. You'll find somebody else someday."

"I hope so. I don't want to end up alone and living in a retirement home full of angry people who lost their pets in a tragic accident."

Meanwhile, deep in the park, there was something going on. There were a bunch of kids gathered around, with their eyes glued on to the only action in an otherwise empty park. There was a new kid in town, and he was drawing a lot of attention to himself.

He was busy tearing up the park, not literally, on his skateboard, pulling out crazy & otherwise impossible tricks, drawing incredible attention & praise to himself. When he finally stopped "shredding", so to speak, he was giving a cheering ovation by his peers. The teenage boy was a bit on the tall side, about 5'10", possibly a little taller; he wore a small, short-sleeved black leather jacket over a white sleeveless shirt, black pants, black shoes, and, ironically, had black hair. The only thing that wasn't black was his skateboard. It was orange and blue instead. He also had a muscular build. Not too muscular like the body builders, but he was extremely well-toned all over.

All of the girls, including Stacy & Jenny were swooning over him, almost fainting to the ground. Meanwhile, the guys were all envious of him and wanted to _be_ him. The mystery boy payed no attention and moved to another end of the half-pipe bowl. "You guys liked that? Then you're gonna love this." He jumped onto his skateboard and dove into the pool, attempting to pull off one of the toughest tricks out there: The McTwist. But as he made his leap out of the pool, he lost control, and thus, started hurdling far out of the park.

And just as Candace was standing up to stretch her legs, she found herself being pummled to the ground by him and his skateboard. "Ow!" She yelped. "Watch where you're going, punk!" She shouted, standing up and dusting herself off. She looked down angrily at the boy that pounded her into the ground, and all of her angry feelings quickly dispersed upon laying her eyes on him. They both remained where they were, and none made a move.

"Sorry," The boy replied as Candace reached out a hand to help him up. "I was doing tricks on my skateboard and-"

"No, that's OK. It was my fault. I know how boys are with their skateboards, and I should've been more vigilante." She replied in a loving, crushing-on-you tone.

"Sorry, I-I gotta go." He said, slowly leaving the scene, looking back at Candace one more time before doing so. Candace waved goodbye to him and let her eyes droop halfway.

"Bye..." She uttered, watching him leave. Lawrence approached her and questioned her new, giddy attitude.

"Candace? Candace, are you feeling OK?" He asked, which caused her to snap back to reality.

"Huh?" She looked up at him. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Who was that? Someone you know?"

"No. In fact, I've never seen him before in my life before today. But he _is_ pretty cute..."

"Candace!" Candace could hear her friend, Stacy, called her as she and Jenny came running up to her. "Did you see that!"

"See what?"

"You mean you didn't notice that guy over there nailing those kill skate tricks?"

"You mean the boy who just crashed into me with his skateboard?"

"Yeah. Wow, you are slow today, girl." Stacy crossed her arms.

"Seriously, who _is_ he? He's really cute."

"Hmm, I guess he is." Truthfully, Stacy wasn't all that into the boy, like Candace was. "Nobody knows. We think he may have just moved here since nobody's ever seen him around before. Why do you ask?"

"Well..."

"Wait a minute. You _like_ him, don't you?" Jenny inquired, smiling feverishly.

"What? No I don't!" Candace defended, blushing madly. It was hard for her to hide when she had a crush on somebody. "OK...m-maybe just a little. But only because he's cute."

"And because you've always been into skateboarders." Stacy added. "When you were 11, you had a major crush on Tony Hawk."

"Oh, that's right. I did. Well, can you blame me? Skater dudes are _hot_!"

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Should I...pursue him? You know, like I did with..." She was so disgusted with Jeremy that she couldn't bare to even say his name. "I'm so mad at him I don't even want to say his name. That jerk!"

"Easy, Candace. He's in your past now."

"Yep, and _that_ guy..." Candace pointed to the boy that was far away now. "Is in my future."

* * *

Meanwhile, downtown, Ferb was busy with his own plans. While he had told his family he was off to a "We Are The British United" club meeting, the truth of the matter was, there was no such thing as a "We Are The British United" club. He had only said that so he could sneak away, and participate in a free "Blind Dating" program that the Tri-State Area had just implemented for kids aged 10-17. Ferb knew exactly what he was doing.

He entered the small building, and took the hallway on his left. There were two hallways upon entrance. One on the left, labeled for boys, and one on the right, labeled for girls. It was a very complex, but very worthwhile dating experience for kids.

Ferb entered a room, where there were other boys that were his age & just a little bit older than him. He appraocehd the front desk.

"Good morning, young man." The lady at the desk said cheerfully. "Are you interested in joining our "Blind Dating" program for kids aged 10 to 17?" She asked him; Ferb nodded. "Well, great." She took out a clipboard with a bunch of papers and a pen. "Just fill out these papers over there in the waiting area, and return them to me. Then, we'll see if anybody matches up with you based on your personality, your likes, dislikes, et cetera."

Ferb took the stack of papers, clipboard, and pencil, and went over to one of the chairs in the waiting area, where he began filling the forms out.

"Question #1: What is your full name?" He looked around quickly and then covered his paper as he wrote in his name. He wanted nobody to know his full name. "Question #2: Have you been legally arrested in the past 90 days?" He wrote in his answer. "No. Question #3..."

The process of filling out the forms and answering the questions actually took a bit less time than Ferb had anticipated, considering that there were several pages he needed to fill out. He looked over his shoulders to see that some of the others who had even started before him were still working on them as he was just about to finish up, while some of them who had started later than him were finishing right with him.

"List any and all allergies you may have." Ferb pondered for a moment, and wrote down his answer. (**A/N:** **Since the show never mentioned his allergies, I'm not going to list any and leave that up to you. Same thing with his full name.**) "And now, the last question. What career would you like to pursue, if any, when you graduate from High School?" Ferb had to really think about this for a moment. He had contemplated many career jobs in his life, one including directing **(Nerds of a Feather)**. He had to put an answer down, so he finally decided to put down a career job he had always wanted to try: A Magician. (**A/N:** **And that, my friends, sets the stage for the first part of the Phineas/Isabella sub-plot**)

* * *

_(Cue Dream)_

_Phineas was sound asleep in a dark, small room. He was having a rather peaceful sleep, that is until there was the sound of hard banging coming from his ceiling. He opened his eyes and turned on light, revealing his room to be nothing more than a simple cupboard, containing nothing more than a very small bed, an even smaller table, and a lamp. _

_"Hey sleepy head! Wake up!" A voice outside yelled, as the banging on the ceiling continued. "Open your eyes, Flynn!" The banging on the ceiling stopped. But soon, Phineas heard footsteps rushing over to him. The door to the cupboard opened, revealing Buford standing there, excited as ever. "Come on, Dilweed! Time for birthday breakfast!"_

_"Buford..." He was surprised to see Buford standing there instead of Ferb, and getting a good look at his surroundings, he became even more confused. "Wait, whose birthday is it?"_

_"What? Do you live in a cave? It's mine, moron! Now get up!" He started running towards the kitchen, excited for his "birthday". Phineas decided not to argue with it, and got up to get some breakfast. When he entered the kitchen, he saw "Buford" there, along with his Grandpa Clyde and Aunt Betty Jo, sitting at the table._

_"Good morning, hon." Betty Jo said immediately. "Your pancakes are in the pan already. Just turn on the stove and make sure they don't burn."_

_"Yes, Grandma Betty." Phineas reluctantly said. He never bothered to argue with his grandparents. He walked over to the stove and started heating up his pancakes._

_"And don't take too long." Grandpa Clyde jumped in. "We don't want to waste time on Buford's special day."_

_"Oh yeah. Happy birthday...buddy..." Phineas had no idea when Buford's birthday really was, as he had never brought the subject up._

_"Can I go open my presents now, Grandpa?" Buford asked, his hopes up._

_"Knock yourself out." Grandpa Clyde replied. Buford cheered and then ran to the other side of the room. There were dozens of boxes wrapped up as presents for Buford, and Buford was excited to see them all. But, counting the presents, that was a different story, especially when he figured out just how many were there._

_"Oh no! There's only 34 presents here!" He whined. "Last year, there were 35 presents!"_

_"But look at this one..." Grandpa Clyde pointed to a present that was really, really big. "This one's super big. I mean, it's like-"_

_"I don't care! There's only 34 presents here!"_

_"OK, OK. Sweetheart, there's no need to get cranky with us." Grandma Betty Jo said in an effort to calm Buford down. "How about this? How about when we go out, we buy you another 2 presents? Huh? That'll make it 36 presents, then."_

_"I guess that would be OK." A smile grew upon Buford's face, relishing in the thought of getting an extra 2 presents on his birthday. "So, when are we going?"_

_"As soon as your brother Phineas gets the mail."_

_"I'm going. I'm going." Phineas said as he stood up from his seat, and went into the hallway towards the front door so he could collect the mail. He saw that it had been dropped off through the mail slot of the door. He picked the letters up and started going through them. To his surprise, there was one addressed to him. And **really** addressed to him._

_Mr. P. Flynn  
____The Cupboard under the Stairs  
____4 Privet Drive  
____Little Whinging  
____Surrey_

___Phineas couldn't believe his eyes. There was a letter actually addressed to him. He began to wonder who would possibly want to write to him as he took the letters back into the kitchen. "What'cha got there, sport?" Grandpa Clyde asked, as Phineas handed him the letters. "Let's see. Junk mail, bill, bill, hey what's this!" He stopped on the last letter, noticing that it was addressed to Phineas. "Honey, come look at this."_

___"What is it?" Grandma Betty Jo took the letter and read the address."Oh my stars! Phineas, you have a letter. I can't believe this. My boy has a letter."_

___"What? How is that possible!" Buford angrily asked, storming over to the letter and snatching it out of Betty Jo's hands. "What loser would want to talk to **this** loser!"_

___"Buford, be nice!"_

___"Hey, it's not my fault he's an outcast!" Buford angrily ripped the letter, appalled at the fact that Phineas could have a friend that wasn't imaginary. Phineas, Clyde, and Betty Jo watched in horror as Buford tore the letter up. "There!" He threw the pieces into the air. "No friends for Dinner Bell!"_

___"My letter..." Phineas could feel anger building up in him. He wanted to lash out on Buford, but before he got the chance, Buford was hit with a letter in the back of his head. It had flown through the open window near the presents._

___"Ow." He picked up the letter and read it, and was shocked to see that it was the same address as the other one. "What? That's impossible! This one has the exact same address as the one I just tore up!"_

___"Ha. Serves you right, Buford." Phineas said rather arrogantly. "Still, that's kinda...weird..." And then another one flew through the window. Then, one came up from a crack in one of the walls. Pretty soon, there was a rumbling feeling traveling throughout the house. "What's happening?" And soon, there were letters flying through every open space into the house. Quickly, they were all being flooded with letters addressed to Phineas. Quickly, they all began screaming and running out of the kitchen._

___"What's going on here!" Buford asked._

___"I don't know!" Clyde had no answer for them. "Everybody pack your bags! We're getting out of here!" Everyone ran upstairs to their respective rooms (Phineas running to the cupboard), and started packing their bags, in the hopes of avoiding the wrath of the flying letters._

___"Oh, Isabella, where are you when I need you!" Phineas cried, wishing that his best friend, other than Ferb, were right beside him at the moment._

___

* * *

_Meanwhile, back outside in the real world, Candace had her own issues to deal with. She was now infatuated with the "new kid in town", the bad boy who was "shredding on his skateboard", so to speak. She wanted to know more about him, and would stop at nothing to do it. So, after her father-daughter day with Lawrence came to an end with Lawrence having found a "bird house-building convention" that he wanted to go to, Candace decided to go around town, trying to follow this new boy around. Luckily, she had the help of her friends, Stacy & Jenny, to help her.

"Candace, do you even know anything about this guy?" Stacy asked her.

"No, except for the fact that he's even cuter than...What's-His-Face!" She scoffed.

"Don't worry. You'll get over him eventually." Jenny assured her.

"I probably will. In the meantime, I can use this new kid to fill the void. He's really cute, and he's like a bad boy. Plus, he knows how to shred on a skateboard."

"Candace, don't you remember what happened the last time you went skating? You had an accident and broke your arm." Stacy reminded her.

"Yeah, I remember. That's why this time, I'm going to take it nice and easy, and I am not going to do anything stupid that will inadvertently cause me or anybody around me bodily harm. Ooh!" She saw him coming around the block, carrying his skateboard, and hid behind one of the buildings she was approaching, taking her friends with her. "There he goes."

"Where do you think he's going?" Jenny asked.

"Well, he has his skateboard with him. He could be going to get his skateboard fixed up." Stacy inquired, noticing the skateboard in his hand.

"Maybe..." Candace, Stacy, & Jenny inched towards him, making certain to stay a good enough distance from him so they wouldn't be spotted. Of course, once he got on his skateboard and started riding away, the girls were forced to start running in order to keep up with him. They ran and stayed on his tail for several blocks. Even running on pure adrenaline, Candace kept her cool and stayed with her target. At last, he stopped his skateboard in front of the "Danville Skateboard Shop", a shop that sold & repaired skateboard. "What's he doing in front of a Skateboard Shop?"

Inside the shop, the mysterious boy turned in his skateboard for repairs down from when he crashed into Candace earlier, and as a result, he was given a temporary skateboard, a red one, to use. Candace, Stacy, & Jenny hid behind the building to avoid being seen by him. "Hmm, let's see, custom-made deck, spiffy new wheels...I'd say that's about...$19.38 worth of rental skateboard." Both Candace and Jenny gave Stacy a confused glare.

"And...how do you figure that?"

"Hey, I may not be the smartest fish in the sea, but nobody knows more about money than I do...except for maybe my dad."

"Hey. Check that out!" Jenny pointed to a flyer that had fallen out of the boy's pocket as he rode off. Candace picked it up and read it.

"Danville Skating Tournament, July 28th, from 11 PM to 2 PM. Novices welcomed. First prize is $5,000. July 28th...that's today! And in less than a half hour, too. Located at the Danville Skating Park. Since when does Danville had a Skate Park?"

"I think they built it just last week."

"Well, now what?" Jenny asked. "We know where he's going, and what he's doing, I think. But how are we going to get into the park? Usually, they close off the park to the public when they hold a skating tournament."

"Then I guess I'll just have to get into this skating tournament somehow..." Candace slowly crept out of her hiding place and rushed into the skateboard shop, coming back out with a skateboard in her hands, a helmet on her head, elbow pads & knee pads, and a determined look on her face. Stacy & Jenny gawked, seeing Candace in skating gear. "Hey, does this skateboard make my butt look big?"

"No..." Stacy hesitated to answer, both confused with the question & afraid of the answer.

"Good."

"Candace, are you sure this is a good idea? Don't you remember what happened the last time you went skateboarding? You tripped in You-Know-Who's pool and got a broken arm, and it was all out of jealousy.

* * *

_Phineas soon found himself hiding out on a cruddy shack on a deserted island, all in the middle of the ocean. It was just an ill-bated attempt to get away from the "swarm of letters" that was haunting the family earlier in the day._

_"Now, I know this isn't very much, kids, but don't worry. We'll make the most of it." Grandpa Clyde said, taking a good look around the small shack before heading off to his bed, which was entirely made of sand. Every bed that was in the shack was made out of sand. "It's just temporary, at least until those angry letters stop harassing us."_

_"I knew it. I just knew that this was your fault, Dilweed!" Buford angrily shouted to Phineas._

_"Me?"_

_"You're the one the letters are after! Why couldn't we just leave you back at the home to be buried alive!" But before the argument could continue, there was a hard, strong knocking at the shack's front door. The door soon came crashing down to the floor, revealing a very big, husky, tall man where an overcoat standing there with an umbrella in one hand and a box in the other. Everyone's jaws dropped, taking eye to the giant man standing before them. _

_"Sorry about that." The man spoke after a short, awkward silence. He stepped into the shack. "So, which one of you is Phineas Flynn?" __Phineas slowly stepped forward. "Ah, there you are, me boy. I haven't seen you since you were a baby." He proceeded to tussle Phineas's red hair. "And I don't remember you having such great hair, either."_

_"Excuse me, but who are you?" Grandma Betty Jo asked in a nice, curious tone._

_"My name is Rubeus Hagrid. I am the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." He replied, sitting himself down and putting his stuff down. When he looked back up at them, he didn't get the reaction he was hoping for._

_"What? That's like a donut factory or something?" Phineas asked. He was genuinely confused, having never heard that name before, or never seen the man before him in his life. _

_"You really don't know, do you?"_

_"Know what? What is going on? Who are you, and how do you know me? A-And why are you here at all?"_

_"You mean you didn't receive your letter?"_

_"Oh, you mean the murderous letters that have been trying to devour us!" Buford exclaimed, still remembering the letters that came after him and attacked him._

_"Mr. Hagrid, sir, what's in that letter that I never got a chance to read?" Phineas asked._

_"Well, why don't you read for yourself?" Hagrid reached into his coat pocket and pulled out yet another letter addressed to Phineas. The boy slowly opened it, took the paper out, and started reading aloud._

_"**Dear Mr. Phineas Flynn, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.**" He looked up at the giant in front of him. "OK, is this some kind of joke?"_

_"No joke. Phineas, my boy, you're not who you think you are. You're a wizard." Hagrid explained to him, in the best way he believed he could without scaring any of them._

_"I'm a...I'm a what?"_

_"You're a wizard."_

_"A wizard? But, I can't be. I-It's not like..."_

_"Hasn't there ever been a time where something had happened right in front of your eyes and you just couldn't explain it to anybody?" Hagrid implied, as he slowly stood up. Phineas had to think about it for a moment. He actually did have a time where a situation like that had happened._

_"Well, actually, now that you mention it, there was that time when we were at the zoo, and Buford was looking at the cobras. Suddenly, the glass just vanished somehow and Buford fell in, and before the security guards could do anything about it, the glass had reappeared, and Buford was trapped with the snakes."_

_"I can still feel the biting on my torso!" Buford shuddered, remembering the fateful event._

_"So...you're saying that I really am a...wizard?"_

_"That's right. And Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has invited you to attend the school as a first-year wizard."_

_"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!" Buford shouted. The thought of Phineas having any supernatural powers while Buford had none of his own made him extremely angry. "There is no way in heck that I am going to let Dinner Bell here go to some fancy-schmancy school to be taught by some crackpot artist some supernatural stuff that doesn't even exist." Hagrid instantly lunged at Buford and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him up into the air. He held the tip of his umbrella to his neck._

_"Never...insult...Albus Dumbledore...in front of me." He hissed, prepared to defend somebody who he considered a dear friend to him. As Buford quickly retracted his insult and apologized, Hagrid lowered him back to the ground. Then he turned back to Phineas. "So, boy, what do you say? You interested?"_

_"I don't know. Maybe..."_

_"Go on, Phineas. This is a big opportunity for you." Betty Jo encouraged him. "Don't waste it."_

_"Are you sure, Grandma?" He asked her, to which she nodded. Soon she was joined by Grandpa Clyde nodding as well, yet Buford stayed motionless. Phineas turned to Hagrid and smiled. "OK, I'm in."_

_"Great! Now let's get a move on. We've only got so much time before the year begins."_

_And so Hagird quickly let Phineas out of the shack, took him to a train station, and before any of them knew it, they were both off to London to find all of the supplies that Phineas would need. "Gee, Mr. Hagrid," Phineas said, looking over the list of supplies as they headed off into London. "There's a lot of stuff here. How are we gonna find all of this in London."_

_"Don't you worry about that." Hagrid assured him. "Here, in Diagon Alley, you can find anything a wizard needs. Let's start off by going to Gringotts Bank."_

_"Gringotts...?"_

_"It's a wizard bank. It's just like a Muggle's bank?"_

_"Muggle...?"_

_"Oy, don't those grandparents of yours teach you anything? Come on, let's get your things."_

_

* * *

_Back in the real world, Ferb had finished his "Blind Dating" forms and now had the tough task of having to wait for his name to be called. He was extremely nervous, swinging his legs back and forth in his chair awaiting his name to be called. "Darius Mercilla." And as he watched the other kids go up and go into the other room to meet their "Blind Dates", Ferb sat there quietly, anxiously waiting.

"Lennie Sanchez."

As each name was called out, Ferb couldn't help but think of all of the answers he had written down on those papers. He was beginning to second-guess himself. He had sworn to himself an oath of 100% honesty when taking on the dating life; he promised to never lie about himself to anyone, especially to a girl.

"Oswald Lindenburg."

He noticed that each kid that went through the door into the other room did not come back out the same way. So he grew concerned over what he was going to expect when he entered into the room.

"Ferb Fletcher."

Finally, his name was called. Ferb stood up from his chair and approached the front desk, where he was led into the other room. The only other person in the room was an elderly man, who was apparently the guy who ran the company and the program.

"Ah, Mr. Fletcher. Welcome." He said, shaking Ferb's hand and sitting him down. "It's a pleasure to be working with you. Now, I've been going over your papers, and I have to say, for quite a while, it was very difficult to come up with a match for you."

"Well, we British men are very complex creatures." Ferb said calmly.

"Yes, I'm sure you are. Anyway, it took a lot of comparisons, but I believe we may have the perfect match for you." He leaned into his intercom and pressed the talk button. "Claire, could you send in Mr. Ferb Fletcher's "Blind Date", please?"

"_Sure thing_." So the two waited in the room for a moment, awaiting Ferb's "Blind Date". Eventually, the door did open up. It opened slowly, revealing Ferb's blind date, his perfect match. Ferb took one good gaze at the girl standing before him and he knew then, he just knew that he had done the right thing. He knew that the computer had made the right choice.

* * *

_After buying all of his school supplies, including wizard textbooks, a magic wand, a bunch of wizard robes, and a pet platypus (students are permitted to bring an owl, a toad, or a platypus as a pet), Phineas was instructed to board the train leaving from Platform 9 3/4. Since he had never heard of that Platform before, he had to ask around. Unfortunately, most of the people around him were not wizards and simply laughed at him. Finally, after watching another boy around his age, who apparently was also starting out, run through the wall between Platforms 9 and 10, he understood what had to be done. So he mimicked the other boy's actions, ran right into the post, and then he found himself right beside the train that was scheduled to go to Hogwarts._

_He boarded the train with his stuff and took a window seat. Awaiting the train to begin moving, the only thing he was missing was his stepbrother, Ferb, and his best friend, Isabella. But soon, at least half of that would be solved. As the train was about to start moving, he heard some footsteps heading his way. Soon enough, Isabella, in a wizard robe herself, stood there at the door leading to his seat._

_"Phineas?" And she couldn't be happier to see her boyfriend sitting there._

_"Isabella!" And saying that Phineas was thrilled to see his girlfriend standing there was an understatement, He stood up and rushed up to her, giving her a great big hug. "I'm so glad to see you! Do you have any idea where we are? Cause I don't!"_

_"Not a clue. One minute, we're lying in bed together getting comfortable, and the next, we're here on a train, heading off to some wizards school. It's like we're having a nightmare we can't get out of."_

_"I know, right? And get this: in this dream, Buford's my cousin!"_

_Isabella gasped. "No!"_

_"Yeah. And I haven't seen Ferb anywhere yet."_

_But just as they were going to sit down and enjoy the train ride, "Ferb" showed up, also wearing a wizard robe. Unfortunately, this dream version of Ferb did not recognize or remember Phineas or Isabella._

_"Good afternoon, young students. My name is Ferb Fletcher, and I am also a wizard in training." He spoke clearly and calmly. Phineas & Isabella were both baffled that Ferb could not remember them, or didn't even make an attempt to remember them._

_"Uh, hi." He said, shaking Ferb's hand. "I'm Phineas Flynn..."_

_"Phineas Flynn...?"_

_"Yes. Now why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"Don't you know your own legacy?"_

_"Legacy?"_

_"Alright, wise guy, what are you getting at?" Isabella asked, not amused at what Ferb was saying._

_"Don't you know? You're known as "The Boy Who Lived"." Ferb explained to them. But this explanation only left the two of them even more confused then they had been before. "OK, you're downing my mood here. I'm gonna go find somewhere else to sit. Ferb Fletcher is out. Peace!" He saluted them off, leaving them to think about what he had said. Both looked at each other for a moment without so much as a word._

_"OK, what was **that** all about?" Isabella finally spoke up. _

_"I...don't know. Maybe somebody's trying to play a trick on me by feeding me on such lies."_

_"Well, whatever the situation is, we have to stick together to get through it. If we get separated, who knows what will happen to us?"_

_"Don't worry, Isabella." Phineas embraced his friend again, feeling comfort in her grip. "I promise you that as long as I'm around, nobody is going to lay even a finger on you."_

_"Aww, thanks Phineas. I always feel safe whenever you're around. Phineas kissed her on the cheek as the train began its journey. So, the both of them took their seats and set off for the greatest adventure of their lives._

_It took several hours and several trollies of food to pass the time, but at last, just as the moon started popping up and the sky turned dark, the train had arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As everyone exited the train and started walking towards the school, Phineas & Isabella took a moment to just stare at the monumental building that stood before them. "Wow, it's beautiful." Isabella said after a long silence between them. _

_"It's huge!" Were the only words Phineas could speak. "I've never seen anything like this in my life. None of my projects can compare to this. It's just so...majestic."_

_"Well, Phineas, we're not going to solve any of our problems just standing out here and waiting for them to hit us head on, are we?"_

_"I guess not." He answered as the two of them followed the group of students heading towards the front entrance. "And remember what we promised: We stick together no matter what. Agreed?"_

_"Agreed." She agreed, putting an arm around his shoulder, making their way to the front entrance to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What lied behind those big doors, what secrets the school had in store for them, what incredible, unprecedented adventures are waiting for Phineas & Isabella...regardless, it will still be one of the greatest times of their lives, even if they are only dreaming it._

**To be continued...**

**End of Episode 34!**

**So, what'd you think? Be brutally honest, because I know this isn't my best work. But, I promise it's going to get better.**

**Next Time: Phineas's dream gets even crazier when Dr. Doofenshmirtz gets involved, Ferb's blind date doesn't go as well as he had hoped, and Candace's desire to find somebody to replace Jeremy takes on a new life of its own.**

**Expected Update: October 11th would probably be the earliest.**


	43. 35: Blind Fury

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 35: Blind Fury (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: Phineas & Isabella's wacky dream continues as they come face-to-face with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Meanwhile, Candace's quest to pursue the new "bad boy" in town sees her ending up with a face full of dirt, and Ferb's blind date turns out to be the last person he ever expected.**

**A/N: Yes, I know there was an error on the previous chapter. The 11 PM should've been 11 AM. I'd correct it now, but I got a review to that chapter before I even realized the mistake. Sorry, just thought I should mention it. It would've bugged me if I didn't.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Oh, and the franchise of _Harry Potter_ does not belong to me either.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

The hour of 11 was quickly approaching, and although the day was young, people in the Tri-State were not wasting any time in seizing the day. And even though they were in a faraway land having their minds tricked, Phineas & Isabella were not holding back in their attempt to "seize the day", even though both kids were still in Phineas's bed, sound asleep. Their sleep, however, was not a peaceful one.

_(Cue Dream)_

_All of the students were gathered into the Grand Hall of the school, each having been sorted into their new houses between Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Phineas, Isabella, and Ferb had been sorted into Gryffindor house. They had sat down at the Gryffindor table and talked as every other student dug into the grand feast that was sitting before them._

_"So, apparently, I'm this famous boy who survived an evil wizard who tried to kill me when I was a baby." Phineas explained to Isabella & Ferb. "This evil wizard named Heinz Doofenshmirtz killed my parents when I was a baby and tried, but failed to kill me. And now, he's obviously out for revenge against me."_

_"Well, that's not good." Isabella said. "Well, don't you worry, Phineas. There's no way Ferb and I are going to let you get hurt."_

_"I agree." Ferb responded. "We'll have your back as long as you need it."_

_"Thanks. Coming from you guys, I sure feel a lot better about all of this. Still, the thought of being hunted down by some mad man kinda makes me a bit nervous to go to sleep at night."_

_As Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella enjoyed the feast, they were greeted by an unwanted and frankly unwelcomed quest: A member of the Slytherin house._

_"Well, well, if it isn't the great Phineas Flynn." The boy said in a rather harsh tone, a tone that was far different that the one Phineas was used to._

_"Irving? Is that you?"_

_"Just because you're "famous" doesn't mean you're going to be treated any differently than anybody else here, so don't get any ideas, buster."_

_"Uh, OK."_

_"Cause I'm gonna be the big shot here. You know, Slytherin house has won the House Cup for the past seven straight years, and this year's gonna be no different."_

_"Alright then. Well, good luck." Phineas told him optimistically. Irving, seeming surprised, scoffed, turned away, and went back to his table. "He seems nice."_

_After all of the students finished their grand beginning-of-year feast, they all headed back to their respective common rooms to get some sleep. The next morning, Phineas, Isabella, Ferb, and a bunch of other first year students woke up and headed out of their rooms to find the Transfiguration wing of the school to begin their first Transfiguration lesson. They were all truly amazed at the moving staircases, finding it increasingly difficult to find their classroom. Fortunately, the staircases somehow worked in their favor and they managed to find their classroom, where their teacher, Professor McGonagall, was waiting for them._

_"Good morning, students. For your first Transfiguration lesson, you will be learning how to transform an ordinary object into a real-life bird. To do this, we recite the spell "Avifors"." __She held out a wand, aimed it at the birdhouse on her desk, and recited the spell. "Avifors." A light came from the tip of her wand, and as the light vanished, the birdhouse was magically transformed into a real live bird. Everyone gasped and aww'ed at the sight of the real bird in front of them. "Now, would anybody like to attempt the spell?"_

___"I would." Ferb immediately volunteered. He stood up and walked over to McGonagall's desk, and aimed his wand at the other birdhouse on the desk. "Avifors." Reciting the spell, he blasted the birdhouse. But instead of turning it into a bird, it simply morphed the house into the shape of a bird, a bird that looked like it was about to keel over. "Oops."_

___"That wand needs replacing, Mr. Fletcher." She said firmly. (**A/N: That was a reference to "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets")**_

___**

* * *

**_Back in the real world, Ferb had his own problems to deal with. He had just been matched up with his "blind date" based on the answers he gave to questions that were asked. But when it came time for him to find his date, the results shocked him beyond.

"Vanessa?"

"Ferb?"

"You're my date!" They both simultaneously said to each other, and then looked at the man sitting at the desk. "What is this about?" Vanessa piped up again.

"Both of your answers matched up perfectly with each other. Except of course, with your career jobs." He looked to Ferb. "You said you wanted to be a magician," Then he turned to Vanessa. "And you said you wanted to be a school guidance counselor."

Ferb turned an eyebrow on Vanessa. Given her goth-like appearence, he never assumed that she would want anything to do with that sort of stuff. "What?" She questioned, offended by the apparent stereotype placed before her. "Just because I dress like a goth doesn't mean I don't like kids." After giving Ferb a bit of an earful, Vanessa turned to the worker again. "Look, seriously, this is bogus!"

"It was the computer. I have no control over who gets matched up and who doesn't."

"So you're saying you can't change our results."

"I'm sorry. But once they've been entered into the computer, the results cannot be changed. So...it looks like you two are going on a date. Congratulations." He stood up and shook both of their hands. Vanessa wasn't impressed, even with his modesty.

"OK, then let me ask you this." Vanessa began. "Don't you think that Ferb is a little young to be dating somebody my age? I mean, I _am_ 16, after all?"

"Really? I thought you were much older." He commented; she glared at him. "What? Hey, don't be mad at me. You're the ones who wrote down your answers. I just put them into the computer to match them up. And unfortunately for you, all matches are final. So now, it's time to move on to the "romantic" portion of the program." The man reached underneath his desk and pulled out a jar with little pieces of paper in them. "As part of the Blind Dating Program we institute here, each pair, upon being matched, is required to go out on the all-important "first date"."

"And let me guess. That jar in front of us has the names of all the failed couples that were matched up here."

"What? No, that's ridiculous. Each piece of paper in this jar has the name of a regular "first date", in other words, something that couples usually do when they go out on their first date, such as a movie, an amusement park, a romantic dinner...just about anything. In fact, we even had an option to take your first date to Ground Zero in New York. But we had to remove that because of September 11th. Now, one of you must reach in to the jar and pick a theme for your date."

Vanessa reached into the jar and quickly pulled out a piece of paper, reading it aloud. "Movie. Oh, cool. That doesn't sound so bad."

"A movie. Good choice. Simple, yet effective." He reached underneath his desk and pulled out two stacks of papers, each stack containing the exact same documents in them. "Now, once you have completed your "first date", you must fill out these applications, dictating how well you enjoyed your date, what you have learned about your partner, and, if anything, what you would have wanted to do differently."

"Don't you think this is a little bit too...textbook, per-say, for a date?" Vanessa implied, but the worker's facial expression did not change. "I mean, aren't dates supposed to be spontaneous, and...how should I say this - _not_ on paper?"

"Hey, lady, if you thought you could do a better job of getting a boyfriend, then you shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"Hey, for your information, I did have a boyfriend! His name was Johnny!"

"What happened?"

"We...hit a little rift in our relationship." She replied, sulking slightly, at the thought of having a fight with her boyfriend, Johnny. "So, I decided to come here to see if there wasn't anyone else I could meet. To tell you the truth, I never expected to meet Ferb here."

"Well, that's all fine and dandy. But now that you two are matched, you have an obligation. So you take these forms-" He shoved both stacks of forms into their hands. "And bring them back to my office by tomorrow before noon. Otherwise, there's going to be trouble. Now, get out of here you crazy kids." He stood up, and pushed them gently out the door, slamming it behind him. Vanessa and Ferb both looked at each other and then at their forms, surprised at the stack they had to hold. Of all the times they had pictured themselves dating, they had never quite imagined it the way it was playing out at that moment.

* * *

_Meanwhile, Phineas & Isabella were about to start their first broom-flying lesson with some other first years including his newfound enemy Irving, as well as Ferb. Their instructor was Madame Rolanda Hooch._

_"Welcome, first years. I am Madam Hooch, your Broom Flying instructor." She said firmly and loudly so all the students could hear her. "Now, if you'll look to the ground, you'll see that each of you are standing beside a broomstick. This is your flying instrument. Now, to summon your broom to you, you simply hold your arm out, like so..." She demonstrated by holding her arm out to the front on a slight angle to the left. "And then yell "Up!" Firmly. If this is done correctly, your broomstick with shoot up in the air right into your hand. Now, arms out!"_

_All of them held their arms out, and took a deep breath in. "Go!" Hooch shouted, and immediately everybody began shouting "Up!" to their broomsticks. But only a small handful of them actually went up to their owners, those including Phineas & Isabella. When Ferb did it, his broomstick tilted upward and the stick smacked him in the face. Eventually, though, everybody did get their broomsticks up (Irving took the longest). "Now that you have all successfully summoned your broomsticks, it is time for you to learn how to ride them."_

_They set themselves up so they were sitting on their brooms, and awaited further instruction. "Now pay attention. Once you are settled onto your broom, you are going to kick off the ground with your foot hard. But don't kick too hard, because then you'll blast off out of control..." And before she had even the chance to go on, another student (Baljeet, portraying Neville Longbottom) panicked and kicked off the ground as hard as he could. It was this error that caused him to shoot up into the air as fast as his starter broom could go. "...like that..."_

_Baljeet screamed like a crazy person as his broom went all over the place, going in circles 250 feet in the air. "Just stay calm, little boy!" Madame Hooch shouted. "We'll have you down in a jiffy. Just remain calm and don't do anything dangerous and stupid while you're up there."_

_"I can't hear you!" Baljeet shouted, as his broom took off in another direction. It turned upside down so he was flying upside down now. "I'm busy doing something dangerous and stupid while I'm up here!" **(A direct reference to the episode "Out to Launch")**_

_"Why do I always get the nuts..." Hooch mumbled to herself._

_"Don't worry, Baljeet!" Phineas shouted, suddenly having an intense feeling of heroism course through his veins. He stepped onto his broom, readied himself, and prepared to kick off. "I'm coming to save you!" Nobody got a chance to say anything before Phineas kicked off the ground and flew up to him._

_"Little boy!" Hooch called to him. "Don't do anything dangerous up there!"_

_Phineas was too focused on saving Baljeet to hear what Madame Hooch said on the ground. He flew up casually, but quickly, up to Baljeet, who was now spinning out of control. "Baljeet, it's OK. I'm right here." He held out his hand towards him. "Just grab my hand and I'll pull you in to my broom."_

_"But I'm scared to let go!" Baljeet shouted, clinging on his broom as he spun in a clockwise rotation several times. He opened his tightly closed eyes and saw Phineas riding there, as if he wasn't even riding a broom at all. "H-How are you not scared? We are 250 feet in the air."_

_"I don't know. I'm just not. Now grab on! We don't have all day."_

_Baljeet slowly released his grip on the broom and reached out to grab Phineas. After he had a grip on him, he quickly scurried onto his broomstick to avoid falling down to the ground. Baljeet's broomstick continued flying away from the scene as Phineas & Baljeet descended onto the ground. Everyone cheered for Phineas, including Madame Hooch, who was extremely impressed with his broomstick flying skills._

_"Mr. Flynn, that was such an incredible display of broomstick flying." Hooch said, her admiration visible in her voice._

_"Thanks. But it's really nothing. It's just balance and coordination."_

_"You are a natural at flying a broom. In fact, I usually am not supposed to do this, but how would you like to join the Gryffindor Quidditch Team?"_

_"Um...sure, OK. Now, what's Quidditch?"_

_And before Phineas knew it, he found himself in a Quidditch uniform, playing for his house team in a game of Quidditch. He had been unknowingly appointed the Gryffindor seeker, which meant that it was his job to catch the rare & valuable Golden Snitch, a tiny flying ball that would end the game upon being caught. "Wait, how did I end up here?" He asked, confused. He looked around quickly to figure out what was going on. And he soon spotted Isabella and Ferb in the standings, looking just as confused as he was. Everybody else, however, was busy cheering their team on._

_Phineas didn't even have time for one more thought, because the second Phineas turned his attention back to the game, he was hit dead-on with a Bludger, a ball that was meant to knock players off of their brooms. He descended to the ground slowly and eventually landed in the soft sand that lay beneath him, where he lay for a while before paramedics arrived to take him away._

_

* * *

_Meanwhile, Candace was busy dealing with her own problems as well. She had followed the new boy in town to Danville's newest skating park, discovering that he had entered a skateboard competition that was about to start. Candace, Stacy, & Jenny managed to hide behind the bleachers to avoid being spotted by him.

"There he is." Candace said, noting as he was preparing to skate in the park. The park was set up with half-pipes, railings, benches to skate on, the works. "Wow, they really outdid themselves with this skate park. Now, where do I sign up...?"

Candace came out of hiding to look for a place to sign up. Luckily she found a sign up booth still open, so she decided to go for it. And thankfully, she wasn't too late for it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" An announcer over the loudspeaker boomed. "Welcome to the 1st Annual Tri-State Area Skating Competition. Novices from all around have come together to show off their skills, hoping to leave with the grand prize of $5,000! But to do that, they'll have to impress our judges..." There was a table located just outside the park with three people sitting there. "They will be judging the skaters based on their creativity, execution, and the ability not to wipe out. Each skater will have 3 minutes to perform whatever crazy tricks they think will impress the panel of judges." The crowd started cheering, eager for the start of the competition.

"And now, let's bring out our first skater. Please welcome..." There was a short pause before the announcer read the name of the first skater. "Candace Flynn?"

Nobody could believe the name they had just heard. They knew immediately that it was a girl being called out to the park. None of the guy skaters were impressed as Candace entered the park confidently. In fact, one overly-arrogant skate, who thought that guys were overall better than girls in all aspects of life, stepped up to the announcer and Candace to complain.

"What is _this_!" He shouted angrily, clenching his skateboard tightly in his hands.

"What?" Candace seemed visibly confused.

"You're actually going to let a _girl _skate!" He didn't really believe in girls skating or doing anything rough like boys do.

"Hey, I can skate if I want to. Not only am I signed up, but I am also very skilled."

"I don't care! Girls are not supposed to be competing like this. A girl's job is to stay at home, do whatever their husband tells them to do, and be a loving mother & wife."

"Watch your tone, buddy!" The announcer said quietly to him. "I have the authority to kick you out of this competition."

"I'm just stating facts. Girls shouldn't skate! Then again, I guess with this one here, you couldn't really tell that she was a girl." The arrogant skater was quickly becoming insulting and abusive towards Candace. She quickly took offense to being called a man. "What? Hey, if you didn't have those baboon arms of yours, I might've been able to tell the difference."

"Hey!" A voice from the background boomed. They turned around to see who it was. It turned out that the voice came from the boy that Candace was chasing. "Luke, what did I say about harassing girls and belittling them?"

"That...it's not nice and it makes the girls feel really bad about themselves."

"Exactly."

"But, dude, don't you know who this girl is? She's Candace Flynn, the girl who went a-wall on her own brothers and got shipped off to Military School for it, _and_ she was expelled from her High School because she was obsessive about them. Dude, she missed Summer School!"

"And you think that gives you the right to insult her and criticize her, thinking it'll throw her off her game before her big skate boarding debut?"

"Y-Ye-No."

"That's right, cause it doesn't. Now, let her skate."

"Why thank you, cute boy I've never seen before." Candace said, surprised that a boy who really didn't know that she existed was actually defending her. She turned to the arrogant boy. "You heard him, Mr. Macho, get outta here and let me skate!" She angrily told him off. He ran off, scared of being beaten to a pulp by her. The other boy shook his head and went after him as Candace prepared herself.

"OK then. Good luck, kid. Oh, before you go, sign these." He pulled out a waiver and handed her a pen. She didn't even bother to read the contract before signing it.

"Alright. What is it?"

"It's just a waiver stating that if you suffer from any life-threatening injuries, the Tri-State Area is not responsible for them."

"Wait, what!"

"Good luck." He shoved her into the park, where everybody cheered her on. Every single person there, including Candace's friends, were eager to see how she, a girl, would tackle the skateboard world. She took one dip into the half pipe, kicking the ground with every chance he got, gaining speed, and launched herself into the air. But, instead of going straight up, she kicked so hard that she actually went over the railing of the pipe, and her skateboard snapped in half. Realizing this, she held the pieces in her hand, and started screaming loudly in fear. She was flung far away from the skate park, and eventually landed in a tree that broke her fall, eventually sliding down gracefully down the trunk to the ground. Bruises were everywhere.

"Candace!" Stacy shouted. She and Jenny immediately jumped into action, rushing to her aide. The boy that Candace was chasing also decided to rush into action, for unknown reasons. However, they were the only three that did so.

"And...it looks like Candace is out!" The announcer said through his microphone, not seeming to really care that Candace may have been hurt at all.

* * *

Somewhere across town, Ferb and Vanessa were busy on their "date". They had arrived at the Danville Movie Theater, and were now "forced", so to speak, to write down how their date progresses and how they felt it went. Neither of them felt comfortable with having to log in their progress. They didn't think that was what a genuine date was all about, yet they did not have the courage to stand up to the executives of the program. So ultimately they chose to just keep their mouths shut and do as they were told.

"So, Ferb, what movie do you want to see?" Vanessa asked as they entered the theater. The hardest part for both of them when it came to watching a movie was choosing a movie to watch. And there were a lot of choices for movies today.

"I don't know..." Ferb examined the long list of movies that were going to play within the next half hour. "How about _Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps_?"

"Nah, I'm not a big fan of Michael Douglas." Vanessa replied, not taking her eyes off the list of movies either. "OK, what about _Never Let Me Go_?"

"Something about that title makes it sounds like a Japanese film, and I'm not too fond of Japanese films. I still can't force myself to watch _To Live_." Both of them were struggling to figure out what movie they wanted to see. "Well..." Finally, they both reached an agreement. "How about _The Princess And The Frog_?"

So Ferb paid for the tickets and Vanessa paid for the refreshments. Ferb reluctantly offered to pay for the refreshments as well, but Vanessa insisted. As they took their seats in theater 5B, they both had a quick moment to reflect on the situation each of them had gotten themselves into. As much as Ferb really wanted a date with Vanessa, he felt that a forced date was not how a relationship should start. They both felt very uncomfortable talking to each other as the movie started. Heck, they wouldn't even look in each other's direction.

Ten minutes into the movie and the tension between them was already through the roof. Because of the situation they had gotten into, neither of them could really stand sitting next to the other. It wasn't because the other offended. It was simply because they did not feel comfortable being forced to go out with each other.

"Well, this is certainly a...fun movie." Vanessa said to break the awkward silence.

"Certainly."

But after that, they let some time pass before either talked again. They thought that it would be best for the both of them to just sit through the movie. But that task proved to be far more difficult since neither of them felt comfortable in their situation. "Whoever directed this movie certainly did a great job on it." Ferb said after another awkward silence period.

"Uh, yeah, totally. I have never felt more in tune with animation." Vanessa answered. And then came another period of silence.

The movie was just about to reach its climax, and the tension between Ferb & Vanessa only continued to grow. Finally, it reached a point where Vanessa couldn't take it anymore. "Ahh! I can't do this anymore!" She shouted out of nowhere, distracting everyone around her. But she paid no attention to them as she stormed out of the movie theater.

"Hey, shut up, gothy!" A guy in the audience shouted to Vanessa as she stormed out. "I don't care how attractive you are! I'm trying to watch the movie." Ferb paid no mind to the angry man as he insulted Vanessa. He quickly followed her out of the theater to see what was wrong.

"Vanessa?" He peered his head out of the door to see her standing there, arms crossed. Her facial expressions indicated that she was frustrated with something. She noticed him standing there.

"Oh, hey Ferb. Sorry I ran out like that." She apologized. "It just...It just felt too weird being in there with you, especially after the little fight I had with my boyfriend."

"What happened?"

"Well, a few nights ago, he showed up, like, 2 1/2 hours late to pick me up for our date. I was sitting on my porch in my beautiful black dress! Then when I try to complain to him, he tries to give me some lame excuse that his car had been abducted by aliens. I call him out on it and then he tells me that "If I wasn't so suspicious all the time, he'd be willing to get closer to me". So then we get into a big fight and we practically broke up. I was devastated after that, because Johnny was really the only boy I connected with." She looked down at Ferb and saw his blank expression on his face. "I mean, a boy _my_ age."

"Well, that's _his_ loss." He said plainly, which was enough to get a smile on her face. "Because he lost a very beautiful, and very sincere woman who would make anyone very happy."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes. Yes I do. Vanessa, I'm not sure you're aware of this, but for quite a long time now, I've been admiring you from afar."

"I kinda figured. Come on, Ferb. I'm sure it wasn't a coincidence that we ran into each other that day in the Mega Superstore."

"Actually, I think it was."

"Well, regardless, I've kinda figured that you had a crush on me. Believe me, you're not the first guy younger than me to hit on me. But, you are the first one that I've really connected to. Listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but, you're just...too young. At least right now. I mean, I'm 17 right now, and you're about 11, right? I don't think we can date, at least not right now."

"I understand."

"But still, I don't know what I'm going to do with Johnny. He's not really insensitive. He just doesn't really know any better. This was our first real fight that we've had since we got together. A-And it seems like sometimes he doesn't really care about my wants or my needs and all he ever thinks about is himself. Ferb, what do you think I should do?"

Ferb wanted to use this opportunity to tell Vanessa to dump Johnny, because he really wanted to date her. But, what she had said was true: for now, he was just too young for her. "I think you two should sit down and have a talk so you can settle these differences. After all, a wise man once said "If you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway"."

"You really think there's hope for us?"

"There's always a little hope. You just have to be willing to go looking for it."

"You know what? You're right. I-I mean, this _was_ our first fight, like, ever. I can't let that destroy us."

"And you shouldn't. Candace already lost one of her best friends to a fight."

"Who?"

"Her boyfriend, Jeremy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"I certainly don't want that to happen to you. So go. Go get this boy that's obviously made you very happy."

"Are you sure? I-"

"I'll be fine. After all, I have a lot more time to get myself the right girl. You, on the other hand...well, you only have so many good years on you."

"Uh, OK. Well, thanks, Ferb. Thanks for everything." She knelled down and gave Ferb a kiss on his cheek, her way of thanking him for his wisdom. Then she turned around and walked proudly out of the theater, ready to re-kindle the relationship she had with Johnny. Ferb waved goodbye, watching the girl he had admired for some time walk out the door. Although he would have enjoyed being her boyfriend, he knew that for now, this was for the best. And he was OK with it.

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace was just coming out of her skateboard injury-induced coma. She opened her eyes slowly to see that she was still in town, laying on the grass, where she was treated by paramedics for a concussion and two bruised legs and a broken left wrist. She saw her friends, Stacy & Jenny, standing there by her side, as well as the mysterious boy she had been chasing.

"Ow, my head." She said weakly, rubbing her head. "What happened?"

"You jumped out of the half pipe, broke your skateboard in half, and hit your head." Stacy explained.

"I must've hit my head hard. Everything around me is spinning."

"They treated you for bruised legs, a broken wrist, and a concussion. But other than that, you're fine."

"Great." Candace said sarcastically, as Jenny & Stacy left her side for a moment. Candace lied there, rubbing her head, as the boy she was after approached her.

"Man, that was some Wipeout back there." He said, giving a little chuckle in the hopes of making her laugh with him.

"I'll say. I've never felt so dizzy in my entire life."

"I'm guessing you're not a very good skater, are you?"

"Skater? No. But I do roller blade sometimes. Granted, I'm not very good at that either. But it's a lot safer than riding on a skateboard."

"So tell me. If you weren't an expert at skateboarding, why'd you join this contest in the first place?"

"Why? B-Because..." Candace hesitated to answer. She wasn't sure she should tell him the real reason she joined the contest. But, he was looking for an answer, and she wanted to respect that. "Because...I wanted to get closer to you?" The boy's eyes opened widely, surprised at this answer.

"Me? Seriously? Wow, OK...why?"

"Well, you were so modest when you bumped into me earlier, and-and come on, you're cute!" She decided to be completely honest with him, but keep her composure together so she wouldn't scare him off. "And after my last relationship ended in a failure on _his_ part, I guess I was just too eager to get into another relationship to forget about Jeremy..." She hissed when she said his name.

"Ah, I see." The boy said, taking a seat next to Candace as she sat up. "I remember the first time I suffered from a heartbreak. It was back in the 6th grade. Her name was Amanda, and she was _**hot**_! And I mean, smoking hot! She was one of the most beautiful girls in the school, and I wanted her to be my girlfriend."

"What happened?"

"Well, one day, I got up the courage to ask her out during lunch. I went over to her table and just bluntly asked her out to a movie. She turned back to her friends, then looked at me, then smiled and said "yes". I was so excited. But the next day, I waited at the movies all day for her to show up, and she never did. So the next time I went to school, I went up to confront her, and all she did was laugh in my face and tell me that I got my hopes too high and that no girl would ever go out with me. So then I said that no girl would ever want to go out with _her_."

"Wait, why did you say that? Was she...you know-"

"Oh, no, NO! No way, it wasn't like that. See, I was just really mad at her. And besides, she wasn't like your normal, fru-fru girly girl. No, she was big, she was tough, literally, she had the figure of, like, a teenage boy. She was 5'5, she was practically a foot taller than me at the time."

"I'm 5'8."

"Yeah, but you're, like, seventeen. You _are_ seventeen, right?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Yeah, well she was only 12 back then. I heard that she's 6'4 now. She's a giant, now. At least compared to me."

"You? You're even taller than me. Anyway, I'm sorry for...getting into this and possibly ruining your chances of winning the skating competition."

"Uh, the competition ended a half hour ago. And, FYI, I won first place." He said, showing her the gold medal that he was wearing around his neck. "You know, you're not like other girls I've met. You're totally down-to-Earth about stuff."

"I guess you could say that about me."

"Anyway, it's getting late. It's time for me to go home. Oh, I almost forgot..." He pulled out a card and handed it to her. The card had his phone number on it. "My name's Kurt." He proceeded to stand up, turn around, and leave.

"U-uh, mine's Candace!" She shouted back, and she was certain he had heard her. She looked down at the card. "Kurt, huh? That's a cute name." Then, when she realized she had gotten his phone number, she squealed. "Yes! I got his phone number! I did it!" She tried to jump up and down from where she was. But, her injuries restricted her movement by a great amount. "Ow!" She called out in pain.

* * *

_Phineas slowly opened his eyes and allowed her blurred vision to clear up. He looked around the room to see exactly where he was. Getting hit with a Bludger did a number on him, as he ended up with a concussion and a near-broken arm. He opened his eyes and bolted upright, looking around, and seeing that he was in the infirmary. He patted his head to feel a bandaged wrapped around it. When he looked around again, he saw that Ferb & Isabella were standing by his side. "Guys?"_

_"Morning, sleeping beauty." Isabella joked._

_"What happened to me?"_

_"You got clobbered by a Bludger and ended up with a concussion." Ferb bluntly said._

_"Ferb, I thought we said we'd tell it to him lightly."_

_"I did."_

_"How long have I been out?" Phineas asked, scratching his head._

_"A few days."_

_"A few day? Oh, great." Phineas cupped his eyebrows, slightly fearful of the worst. "Isabella probably had a field day with me here."_

_"What, are you kidding? We have 12-hour school days here, Phineas. I barely have time to do my own homework. Of course, when I do get some spare time..."_

_"OK, no need to go any further."_

_"I was going to say that I always come visit you when I have some spare time." Isabella scoffed as Phineas's eyes went bug-eyed. "What did you think I do here? Come on, I have **some** respect for you. Well, I have a lot of respect, but...nevermind."_

_Phineas's condition had significantly improved since he had gotten the concussion in the first place, and was released from the infirmary. He returned to the Gryffindor Common Room with Isabella and Ferb. "So, what exactly has been going on since I've been unconscious?"_

_"Well, we found out that the Bludger that hit you was charmed." Isabella explained._

_"You mean..."_

_"Someone possessed it and was trying to hurt you on purpose."_

_"But who would do something like that?"_

_"That's what we're trying to figure out." Ferb jumped in. "Right now, every one is a suspect until we can figure out who was out to hurt you."_

_"So now what do we do?" Isabella asked._

_"Easy." Phineas proclaimed proudly. "Tonight, we stake-out. We wait to see if there is any suspicious activity going on while everyone else is asleep."_

_"And...you think that'll help us figure out who's out to get you."_

_"Yes. Yes I do. So tonight, we'll sneak out of the Common Room and patrol the halls to see who else roams the halls."_

_"But Phineas, you know what staying up past your bedtime does to you. It makes you irritable and cranky, and it makes you totally uptight, and not the **good** uptight that I've come to know and love from you." __Phineas and Ferb both blinked their eyes and exchanged confused glances to each other. Then they looked back at Isabella. "What? There's a such thing, you know."_

_"Isabella, if somebody's out to get me, it won't matter if we go to sleep or not, 'cause I'll still be in danger. So tell me, which is the better option: Us going to sleep so you can have fun with me now or us going to find to guy who's out to get me so we'll be able to sleep in the future danger free?" __It's strange to say this but Isabella actually had to think about that one for a second, and Phineas wasn't happy with it. "Isabella!"_

_"What? Oh come on, that's not fair! You know how I am with you."_

_So the three waited until later that night, when everybody was asleep, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella sneaked out of the Common Room to go searching for the "hit man" as they called it. "OK, the coast is clear." Phineas whispered, as they tip-toed away from the Portrait of the Fat Lady._

_"Phineas, how are we going to get around without being noticed?" Isabella asked. "I mean, we're practically sticking out like a sore thumb."_

_"Don't worry, Isabella. I've got a plan. Look," He pulled out a big cloak from his pocket and wrapped it around the three of them. "This is an invisibility cloak. Some guy gave it to me as a gift. I found it in my room just before we headed out. Now we'll remain undetected as we can safely sail through the halls and look for the guy who wants me out of the picture."_

_"Oh my gosh! This is so cool. We're really invisible." Isabella cheered quietly as they made their way through the halls. As they scaled down the first hall, they passed nobody. So, they decided to go down the Grand Staircase to the sixth floor (The Common Room was located on the seventh floor). Again, nothing. With each floor they descended, they saw nobody passing them._

_Finally, they reached the third floor, and at last, they saw somebody. They saw what looked like a teacher in a black robe speed walking down the hall and entering a room on the right-hand side. "Hey, what's that?" Ferb asked._

_"It looks like a teacher." Phineas answered as they tip-toed in the teacher's direction. They saw him entered the room. "Hey, isn't that the "forbidden room" that nobody's allowed to go in?"_

_"Yeah." Isabella replied. "Wonder what he's going in there, for."_

_"Let's follow him." The three of them followed the teacher's tracks right into the forbidden room. They opened the door slowly, and seeing nobody initially, they took off the invisibility cloak. "Hmm, he's not in here." Phineas said, seeming confused. He rubbed his chin, trying to think of what had happened to the man they were following. "And I don't really see what's so "forbidden" about this room anyway." He put his hands on his hips (which Isabella found attractive) and took a look around. The room was very dark, yet Phineas could not see any immediate danger._

_"You're right. This is just an old, abandoned, dark room." Isabella noted. "Where could that man have gone..." Soon, the three of them heard some growling coming from the other side of the room. And then, just when they thought the room was safe, a large, black furred, three-headed beast emerged from the shadows. It edged towards them, growling getting louder with each step. "Whoa, what **is** that thing!"_

_"It looks like a three-headed dog." Ferb remarked. "And it looks mad."_

_"Now I know I've seen this somewhere before." Phineas said under his breath._

_The three kids stared at the beast, waiting for it to make a move. All the three-headed beast did, though, was growl at them, waiting for them to make a move. It was during this brief period that Phineas spotted a trap door on the ground right where the beast once stood. Phineas, ever so slowly, crept over to the trap door._

_"What's he doing?" Isabella whispered to Ferb, to which the beast growled more. It edged closer to Ferb and Isabella._

_"Guys!" Phineas whispered, making a waving motion with his hands, signaling them to follow him._

_"Looks like Phineas found something." Isabella and Ferb looked up at the beast one more time before taking off at break-neck speed. The beast responded by chasing after them. Phineas opened the trap door that he had found, and the three of them all jumped in before the beast could destroy them. Closing the hatch behind them, they fell a few hundred feet and landed smack-dab on the concrete floor beneath them._

_Astonishingly, none of them suffered an injury. They looked up to find themselves in a very dark hallway, a hallway that had a descending stairway. "Wonder what's down here?" Phineas said as the three of them slowly went down the stairs into another room. The room was also dark, but it had somebody else in it. Somebody else who was looking at themselves in the mirror. "Hello?" Phineas called. "Anybody down here?"_

_The figure who was looking at himself in the mirror turned around and stepped out from the shadows, with an evil grin on his face. "Can it be? The legendary Phineas Flynn, the "boy who lived"?" He said, as the light revealed him to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who had also been zapped into the dream. _

_"W-Who are you?" Phineas asked._

_"Why, you don't recognize me?" He said sinisterly. "I thought you'd remember me, even though the last time you saw me was when you were a little baby."_

_"Wait a minute. Don't tell me...don't tell me you're the guy who killed my parents."_

_"Oh, but I am, child. And I would've been able to kill you too, had it not been for your intrusive mother! Before you died, your mother performed some kind of black magic on you so that I couldn't touch you. The resulting immunity placed on you almost cost me my life! Ever since then, I have been searching for you, trying to find you, and exact my vengeance. Your mother's interference may have damaged me, but I'm still Lord Heinz Doofenshmirtz! And I WILL kill you, if it's the last thing I do."_

_"Hold it right there, buster!" Isabella shouted. "You are not going to lay a finger on my Phineas! Hear me!"_

_"Oh, and who are **you** supposed to be!"_

_"I'm his girlfriend, and his future wife!"_

_"Oh...that's nice. And you are..."_

_"I'm his friend, Ferb Fletcher."_

_"Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure I kill you two as well! And with this..." He reached into his robe and pulled out a golden-colored rock. "I'll be able to do just that. You see, child, this is the legendary, sought-out Stone of Destiny. It is a magical object that gives the holder immortality."_

_"Immortality?"_

_"It means that I can never die. And with this limitless power, I will finally put an end to you." He put the stone in his left hand, and took out his wand with his right hand. "Say goodbye, Phineas Flynn!"_

_"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Phineas quickly took out his wand, pointed it at Doofenshmirtz, and blasted him with a spark from his wand. Doofenshmirtz had the exact same idea and shot the same type of spark from his wand. The two sparks connected and a power struggle ensured. Despite Doofenshmirtz's newfound power from the Stone of Destiny, Phineas was still able to stay alive and keep himself from being destroyed._

_"You can do it, Phineas. Show him no mercy!" Isabella shouted, cheering him on. _

_The power struggle continued for quite some time. Eventually, after a few moments the middle center where the energy waves connected began glowing. The radius of the glow began rapidly expanding, blinding both Phineas & Doofenshmirtz. "Ahh, I can't see anything!" Doofenshmirtz yelled._

_"I can't see either!" Phineas agreed as the light continued getting bigger. Soon, it blinded Ferb and Isabella, and it was beginning to cover the entire room._

_"What's happening!" Isabella asked, hoping for some answer, but unfortunately, all they got was more light. All four of them scream, and then, the wands disconnected from each other..._

_(End Dream)_

_

* * *

_Isabella screamed and jerked her head up, opening her eyes quickly, not moving her hands from where they were. Breathing heavily, she took a look around and saw that she was still in Phineas's room, the place where she had first fallen asleep. She looked down onto the bed and was delighted to still see Phineas lying on his stomach. He was snoring loudly, but for the moment, she was simply glad that it was just him and nothing else.

"Whoa, that was one crazy dream." She said to herself. She looked out of the window and saw that the sun was still up, indicating that it was still daytime. She attempted to shake Phineas awake. "Phineas?"

He stirred around before opening his eyes. "Isabella?" He turned on his back, pulled up his pants, sat up, and rubbed his head. "Whoa, that was a crazy dream, huh?"

"That's what I said."

"I wonder what caused us to have that dream in the first place."

"I don't know. But, I'm glad it's over."

"Me too. That nap really did do me some good, and that extra sleep will definitely help me tomorrow when Ferb and I come up with our daily projects."

"You know, it's only..." She checked her watch. "3:30. We still have the rest of the day to plan what you want to do tomorrow. Just because Ferb isn't here doesn't mean you can't do that. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. And besides, I do have some great ideas in mind." Isabella stood up and helped Phineas out of bed. She took his hand and together they walked out of the room and downstairs to find Perry sitting on the couch watching static on the TV. "And Isabella, you know that nothing that happened in that room leaves that room. Understand?"

"Yes, Phineas. Jeez, what do you think I'm going to do? Tell the whole world about your loud snoring and your adorable butt?"

"I never know with you." They both laughed, took a seat on the couch, and started jotting down some ideas for their next project. "You know you're crazy, right?"

"Yep. And proud of it." She leaned in and hugged him, & kissed him on the cheek as he chuckled.

* * *

**During the Credits**

Later that day, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy unraveling over the strange dream that he had had as well. "No, no, no! That's not it!" He decided to write it down, but unfortunately, he could not remember what had happened in his dream. "L-Let's see, there were two goblins, a gazelle...no, no! That doesn't make any sense!"

With his growing frustration, he was in no mood for his robot assistant's intrusions. "What are you doing, boss?" Norm noted the many crumpled papers on the floor.

"I had the awesome dream when I was knocked out by my Dream-inator and now I can't remember what it was about."

"Did it have Jordin Sparks in it?"

"No. I can safely say that it did not. Because if it did, I would've had the desire to go on the internet, figure out where she lives, then get a DNA sample of her hair to clone her and make her my second wife."

"Maybe if I knock you out again, you'll remember your dream."

"Knock me out? Wait, wait, what do you-" Before Doofenshmirtz could say anything more, Norm held out his fist and conked him right on the head. The resulting conk knocked him out cold. He fell forward and collapsed, completely unconscious. Norm, though, had no idea that he had just knocked out his master.

"Do you see anything, sir?" Norm waited for a response, truly unaware of what had actually just happened. "Sir? Sir? Can you hear me, sir?" He leaned in and held up some fingers on his hand. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

**End of Episode 35!**

**OK, I know that this episode and the previous episode are _not_ my best work by far. But I promise, things will get better.**

**Next Time: Phineas & Ferb attempt to ride the biggest wave of the summer, but will it come with unforeseen consequences?**

**Expected Update: Hopefully by October 22nd. That'll be two weeks from today. But no promises.**


	44. 36a: The Big One

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 36a: The Big One**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb attempt to surf the "High Tide", but could this be one of the few activities where they don't succeed in? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz's plan to carve his face onto the moon interferes with Phineas and Ferb's plan.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Oh, and the franchise of _Harry Potter_ does not belong to me either.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was another beautiful day in Danville. Phineas, Ferb & their friends, as well as the entire Flynn-Fletcher family, decided to spend the day at the beach.

"Wow, what a beautiful day." Phineas said, who was standing in the water with Isabella & Ferb, waiting to be hit by an oncoming wave. "Nothing better than standing in the water getting hit by the waves, 'cause you know that if you're careful, you won't be pulled under." He stood there proudly as he was hit with an oncoming wave. Ferb & Isabella ducked out of the way. They did not exactly share the same ideas as Phineas, yet all three of them shared a laugh.

"No doubt, Dilweed!" Buford called from several feet, as he, holding Baljeet in a head-lock, was also hit by a wave.

"You boys be careful out there!" Linda called from the beach. She was laying in a beach chair alongside Lawrence & Candace, just relaxing. Her eyes were closed and she was trying to relax, but she could still sense that her boys were in the water. "Don't go too deep."

"OK, Mom!" Phineas yelled back. "Ooh, here comes a really big one!" Phineas yelled, pointing out a very tall wave coming their wave. "We better move back." All of the kids took a few steps back to avoid being pulled under the wave. "Here it comes..." Just as they were about to be hit by it, Kurt (the boy Candace was chasing in the previous two episodes), dove into the water with his surfboard, and proceeded to ride the big wave. He took at it like he was a professional surfer.

"Cowabunga, little dudes!" He shouted, holding up a peace sign, making the surfing of the wave easy. Candace looked up from her seat and saw her new crush surfing the wave with ease.

"Wait, is that..." She took out binoculars to get a closer look at him, and she smiled when she realized it was him. "It is! It's Kurt!"

"Who's Kurt, honey?" Linda asked.

"Mom, don't you remember? Last night I was telling you all about how I was upset with Jeremy and I wanted to make him jealous by meeting somebody else? So, I met Kurt at the skateboard after I...nevermind, that's not important."

"Oh, that's nice, honey." Linda didn't budge from her seat or open her eyes, but she believed that Candace was telling the truth, so she decided to let it pass. Candace rolled her eyes, not impressed with her mother's actions, or lack of action, and stood up to find him.

The wave had passed, and Kurt had successfully surfed it with ease. All of the kids were impressed with his skills, including Candace. "Wow, dude, that was incredible!" Phineas said to Kurt, having no idea who he actually was and that Candace knew him.

"Thanks, little dude." He said nicely to him, standing his surfboard upright. It was then that he noticed Candace running in his direction. "Wait, that can't be. C-Candace?"

"Kurt!" She shouted, running up to him.

"Wait, how do you two know each other?" Phineas was now a little confused.

"Oh, sorry. Where are my manners? Phineas, Ferb, this is Kurt. He's...my-" She wanted to choose her words carefully. She knew that it was far too soon to be calling Kurt her boyfriend. Yet, she did consider him a friend. "My new friend."

"Kurt?"

"Yeah. It's short for Kurtis. What? That's a boy's name!"

"Anyway..." Candace intervened. "I met him yesterday. Kurt, these are my brothers, Phineas & Ferb, and their friends, Buford, Baljeet, and of course, Isabella..." She leaned in closed to him. "_My brother's girlfriend."_

"Which on?"

"The one with the triangle-shaped head."

"Ah, I see." He said as Candace tussled Phineas's hair, causing him to laugh.

"And he is cute!" Isabella said, wrapping her arms around Phineas's neck. "Very cute." As Isabella kissed him, Phineas couldn't help but laugh, loving the warmth and affection he was receiving from her. She turned back to Kurt. "That was some wave you managed to get around." She said, noting the big wave Kurt had surfed.

"Thanks. But that's nothing compared to the one coming later tonight."

"Tonight? What are you talking about?"

"You don't know? Seriously? Well, twice a day, one in daylight, and one at night, there's what's known as a "High Tide", which is basically just a very, very big wave."

"Even bigger than the one you just rode?" Buford asked.

"Much bigger. I've been practicing for weeks to try and surf the perfect High Tide, and I think I'm finally ready. So I'm gonna come back later tonight and try to surf the High Tide."

"When's that supposed to be?"

"I think it's gonna be somewhere around midnight tonight."

"Midnight...isn't that a little late to be outside?" Candace asked Kurt.

"Maybe. Maybe for you, but not for me."

"You know, that _does_ sound like fun. You know, being able to surf a High Tide." Phineas said, contemplating an idea. "I wonder..."

"Whoa, whoa, Phineas. Slow down, bucko." Candace said quickly. "Look, there's no way Mom would let any of us be out that late, anyway. Of course, Mom doesn't _have_ to know about that..."

"What are you saying? That you're gonna sneak out?"

"I-I guess I am. But if we get caught, I'm not taking the rap for it. After all, it was Phineas's idea."

"Fair enough." Phineas agreed. "But hopefully, that won't be an issue. I mean, don't you know who you're dealing with by now? We can pull off just about anything."

"But Phineas, are you sure you want to do this? What if we get in trouble?" Isabella pondered.

"I agree with Isabella. I have never sneaked out after dark and I don't really intended to anytime soon." Baljeet stated firmly.

"Oh don't be such a fuddy-duddy, Baljeet. Have fun for once. And Isabella, think about it. A High Tide like this may only come once, maybe twice in a lifetime. Do you really want to waste it _sleeping_? 'Cause I don't."

"Actually, a High Tide comes around once every 12 1/2 hours." Kurt pointed out to Phineas.

"Like I said, this opportunity won't come by again, so we have to seize it now and make the most of it." And with that, the kids all took off for him, leaving Kurt & Candace standing there. Kurt felt that he was ignored by Phineas.

"Oh sure. Ignore everything I say. Does he do that a lot?"

"You mean the obliviousness? Don't get me started. It took him almost 5 years just to figure out that his best friend had a crush on him."

"W-We're talking about the girl, right?"

"Duh."

* * *

So later that night, after Linda & Lawrence had gone to bed, Phineas, Ferb, & Candace got out of bed, still in their swimsuits, grabbed their surfboards, and slowly crept out of the house. They were sure to be ever so quiet as they met up with Isabella, Buford, & Baljeet, who were also waiting outside of their houses.

Meanwhile, back inside Phineas and Ferb's room, Perry was sound asleep in Ferb's bed. Suddenly, his Agency watch went off. The platypus opened his eyes and looked at his watch, seeing an oncoming message from his boss.

"Good evening, Agent P." Monogram said on the other line. "Sorry to disturb you at such a late hour, but we have a crisis situation. It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has built some sort of sinister device that can allow him to attack and possibly destroy the moon. And as you know, if that were to happen, it would spark an outrage and panic throughout the entire Tri-State Area. I mean, come on. Then it would be far too dark out to see anything. And we all like our light. I still sleep with a night light after all...uh, perhaps I've said too much. Anyway, you must find out just what Doofenshmirtz is up to and put a stop to it!"

Perry sighed, but saluted his boss and went off to find Dr. Doofenshmirtz & stop him. He sneaked into his lair and grabbed his jet pack, where he flew off at break-neck speed to his nemesis' evil lair.

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Once there, he crept ever so cleverly into one of the windows, being cautious to avoid any booby traps that may have been in place. He ducked behind some leftover crates to avoid being seen. Sadly, though, this was a waste, as the crate suddenly opened up and exploded, unleashing cement all over Perry. The cement covered every single square inch of his body except for his head, and it quickly dried up, encasing him. Doofenshmirtz emerged from the shadows and laughed.

"Perry the Platypus, just look at yourself!" He cackled. "You're completely covered in cement. And you're trapped, too. Now that's what I call a double whammy. Anywho, let me show you my latest invention." He walked over to another window where his latest invention was covered with a cloth. He pulled the cloth off, revealing a very large laser. "Behold...the Carve-My-Face-In-The-Moon-So-Everybody-Can-See-inator! Or as I like to call it, my C.M.F.I.T.M.S.E.C.S-inator. I-I know it's not a very good acronym. In fact I probably should've just named it the Moon Carver-inator. Oh well, live and learn, I suppose."

"You see, early this morning, I went to this ceremony that was honoring me for my "efforts" to clean up the Tri-State Area. I don't know if you remember that or not..." Perry nodded his head, as best as he could. "Oh, you do. Great. Anyway, at the ceremony, just as they were about to give me my award, they unvailed a banner in my honor. But to my shock and horror, the banner did not have my face on it. Instead, it had the fact of Rosie O'Donnell on it. I was so angry that I stormed up to the stage and demanded some answers. But the guy who handed me my award simply laughed in my face and told me to accept my award and keep my mouth shut and to stop making such lame web shows. I-I wanted to punch him, I was so mad!"

"But that is why I have created this. With this device...well, like the name implies, I'll carve my face into the moon so that everyone will remember me. Then, the next person who doesn't know who I am can just look up into the sky and look at the moon! Nobody will ever forget the face of Heinz Doofenshmirtz ever again!" He cackled loudly, looking up to the ceiling for no particular reason. Perry rolled his eyes. "What? It's a good plan. Oh, so you think people won't remember me, huh? Is that it? Perry the Platypus, I'm _carving_ my face into the moon! So-So now on any clear night, when the moon is up, all they have to do is look up and they will see my face! B-But then, you know, when I think about it, I didn't really take into account cloudy nights or...or the moon being anything but full. Well, nobody's perfect. But it's still a good plan, if I do say so myself."

* * *

Back down at the beach, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, & the others (as well as Kurt) had just arrived with their surfboards, with still a few minutes before the High Tide was scheduled to come.

"Wow, look at those waves." Phineas said, amazed at high strong the current waves were. Surprisingly enough, none of them were the predicted "High Tide" for the night. "They're huge. I hope we didn't miss the High Tide."

"Nope. I did my research, and the High Tide's not for another few minutes." Kurt responded, checking his watch. "You guys sure you want to do this? It could be dangerous."

"You don't have to worry about these kids." Candace told him. "They've done much crazier things than surfing some dumb old wave."

"She's right. We even traveled around the world in a single day..." Phineas responded, proud of that huge achievement. But then, he had to choke back a sob, remembering the dispute between him and Isabella when it came to ignoring her in Paris. Isabella placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and kissed him on the cheek to stop him from bursting into tears, while also soothing him with some calming words. "I'm sure we can handle a simple wave."

"You've never seen a real High Tide in person, have you?" Kurt asked him.

"Why no. No I haven't."

"Well, then you're in for the surprise of your life, kid." Kurt checked his watch again. "The High Tide should be coming up any second now." Everyone looked out to see and saw that the tides were getting bigger and stronger, and they could tell that a really big one was coming up. "Those are some big waves. We're in for the ride of our life."

"I can't wait for it!" Buford shouted, raising his surfboard up.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Baljeet asked, rather cautious and afraid of the coming waves.

"Not at all." Kurt answered proudly. "Now come on. We better get out there and get ready to surf. Otherwise, we'll miss our chance." They all grabbed their surfboards and started heading out towards the edge of the sand, waiting for the big wave to come. "I think I see it." Kurt could see it coming a few waves back. It was practically double the size of the current waves. "Yep. That's it alright."

"It's...it's huge." Phineas noted. "I've never seen anything so big in my life."

"We're going to be surfing _that?"_ Isabella asked.

"Don't worry, Isabella. We'll be fine. Now let's do this!" Everyone started screaming as they jumped right into the water, excited as ever to be surfing in the dead of night.

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, he was about to start up his latest invention. "Soon, Perry the Platypus, everybody will remember my face! Never again will people mistaken me for Rosie O'Donnell again. Now to start up my machine." He pressed a button on his device, and immediately, it started firing a laser out to the moon, as it began to carve the shape of his face into the moon. "It's working. It's working! I-It's going to take a couple of minutes for it to work. But, in the end, it'll all be worth it."

Perry was busy trying desperately to break out of his cement prison. But his entire body, with the exception of his head, were trapped within the cement. "Try all you want, Perry the Platypus. But that cement is long dry by now. You are trapped, and helpless to stop my scheme!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz let out a quick cackle before looking back at his invention. "Hmm, you know, I wonder what else I could carve into the moon. J-Just because I'm set-in-stone about my face doesn't mean I can't do anything else, right?"

He started fiddling around with his device in an attempt to carve something else into the moon. Unfortunately, by moving it around too much, he caused it to begin malfunctioning. The laser stopped firing, then started firing again for a short time, repeating this pattern several times until the laser was out of ammo. "Uh oh. Not good." He pulled out a telescope and took a good look in the sky to see what had happened. Instead of his face being carved into the moon, he discovered that there was a message carved instead. The message read "_Sandra Bullock is the greatest female actress since Tom Hanks and Johnny Depp"._ "Johnny" was misspelled "Jhonny".

"Huh. That's peculiar." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said. "Everybody knows that Sandra Bullock is a singer. Oh well, no harm done. Luckily, I _am_ able to fix this...with this." He pushed another button on his device and out popped a much smaller laser beam, also pointed at the moon. "I call it the "Undo-inator". Well, actually, it's just a time-reversing device. You see, designed to fix my lousy handwriting on the moon, with the simple push of a button, it reverses the flow of time on the object it's pointing at for 5 minutes. So, I can simply do this..." He pushed another button on his mini laser beam and had it fire at the moon. Through his telescope, he could see that time was reversing itself, undoing the mistakes of his invention. "And now in just a few moments, I can start all over, and then, everybody will know my face, and nobody will ever forget about me ever again-"

Doofenshmirtz stopped talking when he realized that Perry had attacked him, having successfully (somehow) broken out of his cement prison. The resulting clash caused Doofenshmirtz to smash into his invention, causing it to malfunction. The time stopping device as well as the laser beam both started firing willy-nilly, eventually colliding. At the end of it all, the two beams' power was too much for the moon, eventually causing it to crack all over. "Oh no...the moon. It's cracked! I've cracked the moon! Oh no, when FOX News hears about this, they'll never leave me alone!" In a panic, he started pacing around the room nervously, desperate for an idea on how to fix it. Perry shook his head.

* * *

Back down on the ground, the kids, Candace, and Kurt were all ready to surf "The Big One". They could see into the distance the big wave coming their wave. "I see it!" Phineas shouted. "It's here!" After the smaller waves had finally passed, the bigger wave headed towards them. It was literally almost 12 feet high. Everyone excitedly grabbed their surfboards and surfed right into the wave's path. "Let's do this!"

"Yes! I'm hanging ten!" Buford called. "I'm hanging ten! I'm hanging ten!"

"I can't feel my legs!" Baljeet shouted in fear. He was always afraid of surfing, and this was no different. "Somebody get me out of here!"

"Just a little bit longer, Baljeet!" Phineas called. "How're you doing, Ferb!" He asked his stepbrother He responded by giving Phineas a thumbs up. "You holding up OK, Isabella?" He turned behind him to keep an eye on his girlfriend.

"I'm fine!" She shouted back.

"Great! And how about you, Candace?"

"Get me off of this thing!" Candace screamed back.

"OK, everybody is here and accounted for."

"Here it comes!" Kurt pointed to the wave as they all approached it. "Here we go!" They surfed towards it, all cheering as they approached the possible 12 foot death trap in front of them. But, just as they were about to head into it, the wave suddenly began to get smaller and smaller. Eventually, as they finally set their surfboards onto it, the wave had diminished. It wasn't even like it had receded slightly. No, it was completely gone. The water was flat and motionless, much to the dismay of the kids.

"W-What happened to the wave?" Buford asked.

"It's like it disappeared somehow." Phineas noted.

Ferb looked up into the sky and noticed the moon had been cracked. He wasn't sure, however, what had done that. "Well, I think I know what the problem is." He said, pointing up to the sky. "Something's terribly wrong with the moon."

"It's cracked." Phineas noted.

"Wait a minute. How did _that_ happen?" Candace inquired, looking down at Phineas & Ferb.

"Don't look at us. We just wanted to surf that big wave." Phineas responded. "And now it looks like we've missed out chance."

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz now had the daunting task of trying to fix the moon that he had broken. "Wait a minute, I've got it!" He snapped his fingers and rushed back to his malfunctioning device. "You see, Perry the Platypus, I figured that something like this would happen. Which is why I decided to build a second time-reversing device." He took out a much smaller laser gun that had the same capabilities that his first one had. "Now, all I have to do is point it at the moon and..." He pulled the trigger, and unleashed his weapon. A small, green laser, that was even visible on the ground, fired at the moon, reversing the flow of time that caused the moon to crack in the first place. "See? I'm fixing the moon. I'm fixing the - Perry the Platypus?" He turned to find that his nemesis had not only escaped his trap, but had also left to go home. "Perry the Platypus, where are you? Oh, that's nice. Y-You know the least you could do is stay until my plan either finishes or falls apart on its own. T-That's rude, you know? Just plain rude! Jerk!"

Back on the ground, everybody was looking up at the moon and noticing it being fixed rapidly. "Hey, look at the moon now!" Candace said. "It's...fixing itself?"

"That cannot be!" Baljeet shouted in utter shock. "That defies the laws of physics."

"So does everything Phineas and Ferb do." Isabella mentioned. "So what's the big deal?"

"Yeah, but _this_ is...well, it's..." Baljeet struggled to think of a logical answer. Isabella raised a questioning eyebrow. "Oh, nevermind. It'll probably be back to normal by tomorrow anyway."

"That's the spirit, Baljeet. Now come on. Let's go home. I'm bushed." She said, grabbing onto Phineas.

"I'm down with that." Kurt said as they all grabbed their surfboards and started heading off the beach back home to get some well deserved sleep.

Just as they were all about to depart back home, Phineas heard a growling noise coming from his feet. So he looked down, and was delighted to see his pet platypus walking beside him. "Oh, there you are, Perry. What are _you_ doing out here at this late hour?" Truthfully, Phineas had an idea of what Perry was doing. But he wanted to keep it low-key so he wouldn't draw any unnecessary attention to him or Perry, respecting his wishes to keep his double life a secret.

**End of Episode 36a!**

**Wow, that took less time than I thought. OK, enjoy!**

**Next Time: A rival of the "Slushy Burger" franchise arrives in Danville, and Candace takes the opportunity to "stick it to Jeremy" with the help of her friends. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's new "Guard Dog" doesn't exactly help him feel safe. (And you'll see why I put "Guard Dog" in quotation marks when I post the next episode.)**

**Expected Update: Possibly by October 23rd or 24th, but no guarantees.**


	45. 36b: Food Fight

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 36b: Food Fight**

**Episode Summary: ****A rival of the "Slushy Burger" franchise arrives in Danville, and Candace takes the opportunity to "stick it to Jeremy", but gets more than she bargained for. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's new "Guard Dog" doesn't exactly help him feel safe.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

_

* * *

_

It was another beautiful day in the Tri-State Area. Everyone was taking advantage of the day, seizing every opportunity to make the most of their summer, including Candace, who was busy taking another opportunity in the job industry, this time, in fast food.

"So, you want to work for the "Rock Solid Burger" franchise, is that right?" And with the arrival of a new fast food joint, known as the "Rock Solid Burger", Candace thought that it would be a perfect opportunity to "stick it" to Jeremy, so to speak. The manager, who was currently interviewing Candace for the job, had a very thick pirate's accent (**AKA, sounds just like Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. By the way, in case you didn't know, Clancy Brown, the guy who voices Mr. Krabs on Spongebob Squarepants, has guest starred on Phineas and Ferb twice, voicing the Sergeant in "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted" and The Regurgitator in "Oh, There You Are, Perry". Just thought I'd bring it up.)**

"Uh, yes sir."

"Then tell me, young lady. What are your qualifications?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Have you ever worked in a fast food restaurant before?"

"Um...actually, yes. I worked at Slushy Burger for about...3 hours last summer. Total waste of my time." She said firmly, crossing her arms.

"Then let me ask you this: Is there someone you know who works at Slushy Burger whom you are angry at and want to run them into the ground."

"Oh...you know it." She could feel her anger rising, thinking about her ex-boyfriend, Jeremy.

"Then congratulations!" He shouted, knocking her out of her chair. "You've got the job!" As she stood up, he reached out to shake her hand. Hesitantly, she agreed to the shake.

"I-I don't understand."

"Here at Rock Solid, we have a motto. And it goes "Revenge is sweet, but so is our grub. So come on down and have a Rock Solid Burger for a Rock Solid Stool"." Candace's eyes went wide open when he spoke those last several words. She wanted to give a laugh, but was afraid that she would offend him. "Yeah, I know. That last part isn't actually supposed to be in there. But I think it's funny. So, when can you start?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry was already on his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. Upon arriving in his lair earlier, he found a note on his desk telling him to start making his way to Doofenshmirtz, and nothing further. Curious and confused, Perry made his way to Doofenshmirtz's evil building. Upon arrival at the building, Perry received a message from his boss on his hover car's video monitor.

"Good morning, Agent P." He said on the other side of the screen. "I apologize for the hasty exit, but we have urgent news. Early this morning, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was spotted at the Danville Pound, coming up with a cage with some sort of animal in it. Our sources were not able to get a close enough look at the animal he bought, but judging by its apparent wild behavior while locked inside the cage, we're not willing to take any chances. Get in there, find out what he's up to, and put a stop to it! Pronto!"

Perry saluted his boss, turned off his monitor, and scaled the building. When he arrived at the balcony, he slowly crept into the room, avoiding being caught by hiding behind some old crates. He could see his nemesis standing in front of a cage, a cage that apparently had his new "wild animal" locked up.

"There you go, my little beast." He said kindly, handing his beast some food. "That's right. Eat up. You'll need your strength shortly...like right now!" Doofenshmirtz pulled a cord that was conveniently in front of him, and instantly, a metal wall came crashing down, blocking the balcony off. At the same time, the windows were all bolted shut automatically, preventing Perry from escaping. "Aha! You are trapped, Perry the Platypus! Now, it is time for you to face the wrath of my newest companion!" He moved out of the way of the cage to reveal the beast that he had purchased earlier in the day. But this was no ordinary beast.

This beast had very pale, slightly green skin, Canadian-like clothes that were ripped all over, black, bloodshot eyes, and few hairs on his head, hairs that were limp and lifeless. And another thing, he was standing on all fours despite not being a dog or an actual beast. The beast appeared human, with a feral state of mind. It growled angrily at Perry, apparently lacking the ability to speak real words. **(A/N: I'll give you a hint: It's not a werewolf, and it's not Gollum from "Lord of the Rings")**

Perry raised a questioning eyebrow, standing up straight, and eying Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "What?" Doofenshmirtz took a good look at his new "pet". "Oh, this? Well, it's a very funny story, actually. You see, a few days ago, I was burglarized. That's right. Somebody broke into my home and stole some of my most valuable possessions. My-My old family photos, my record player, and my hamsters...you know, the power source for my robot, Norm. Anyway, I went to the police station, but I still haven't heard anything. I'm beginning to think that they're not interested in helping me. So,after receiving an alimony check from Charlene, I decided to go out and get myself a Watch Dog."

"Now I admit he's not much of a dog..." Doofenshmirtz noted his pet's erratic behavior, seeing that he was gnawing at the bars of the cage. "But the pound said that he was as tough as a lion and as flexible and mobile as...w-well. actually, I don't have a metaphor for that. But never mind. The point is, he is one bad dude. No, seriously, he's a dude. The-The strange thing is that they say he is actually a human that simply has a feral mind. Look, h-his name time even says that his name is "Ezekiel". Huh, dumb name if you ask me. But as long as he can do the job, who am I to complain? And he is going to destroy any intruder that dare try to steal from me ever again! And what better pawn to test my new friend out on than _you_, Perry the Platypus! Say your prayers..." He slowly approached the door with the key to the cage. "Because once he starts, he won't be able to stop. And now, I shall release the beast upon you!" He put the key into the keyhole, and slowly turned it, unlocking the door.

Doofenshmirtz took a few steps back as it swung open, releasing the "Wild Animal", named Ezekiel, from his prison. He snarled upon his release, and proceeded to start chasing Perry around the room. Perry, seeing an imminent threat in the animal in front of him, started running in the opposite direction, for the first time, actually feeling fear from one of Doofenshmirtz's "plans".

* * *

Back in Danville, Candace was just starting her first day on the job working at Rock Solid Burgers. There was no doubt from her facial expressions that she was excited about the new job, despite the fact that she was just on the cash register. Her cellphone rang; she picked it up and was happy to hear Stacy on the other line.

"Hi Stacy. No, I'm at work. I got this cool new job at Rock Solid Burgers. Yeah, it's this fast food joint that's apparently a rival company of Slushy Burgers. So, I figured that since Jeremy works at Slushy Burgers, I could use this opportunity to "stick it to him" and make him pay for insulting me and my brothers like he did." She heard some footsteps coming from behind her, so she quickly hung up the phone. "Gotta go, Stacy." She turned to see her boss walking right behind her. He appeared to be thinking hard about something, and she was quite curious. "Uh, sir, is everything alright."

"No, everything's not alright." He answered in a rather bitter tone. "My business is going down the drain."

"What's the problem."

"Ah, it's the food I'm selling. It's not selling as well as it usually does. I guess the folks are just getting tired of eating really hard burgers."

"But sir, they taste delicious. I'm sure they're not sick of it. I bet they're all just busy. I think what you need to do is chill. That's what I do."

"No! What I need to do is come up with a fresh taste for my burgers to attract more customers. A fresh, new, sizzling taste that'll bring in so much business, it'll drive Slushy Burger out of business."

"Boy, would I love to see that more than anyone."

"But I don't have that kind of time to come up with a new flavor, and it's not my fry cook's job to do that either. Oh, why must this happen to me?" He rubbed his head in frustration as he walked away. Candace could easily tell that his boss was truly upset about the predicament. She wanted to do something to help, both because she wanted to keep her old job, and because she wanted to really get Jeremy angry. There were only two people in the world she could think of that could really help her out with it. "I'm going on my break now!"

She raced home to find Phineas and Ferb in the backyard with Isabella trying to think of a project to do for the day. "Phineas! Ferb! Isabella!" She shouted, getting their attention quickly.

"Oh, hey Candace." Phineas spoke optimistically. "How's the new job going?"

"Good, good. Actually, that's why I'm here. I need your help with something."

"What is it?"

"Well, my boss is trying to come up with a new flavor for his food, and I was kinda thinking that if _I_ came up with that new flavor, then maybe I'd be able to "one-up" Jeremy, you know?"

"You're still mad at him?"

"Don't even get me started on that."

"Well, sure Candace. We'd be happy to help you out. What exactly do you need?"

"I need a super tasty burger...one with flavor so zestful, so addicting, that it'll draw customers to the joint and run Slushy Burger right into the ground. Do you think you can do that?"

"Seriously? Don't you know who you're dealing with by now? Of course we can get it done. We'll see what we can come up with and let you know when we're finished."

"Thanks, guys. I knew I could count on you."

"By the way, have you seen Perry anywhere?"

"No. I thought he was with you."

* * *

Perry had his own troubles to handle. After being slightly beaten up by Doofenshmirtz's new "Guard Dog" named Ezekiel, he was now on instinct mode, trying to do everything in his power to avoid being captured or beaten even more. He did nearly everything he could think of, from climbing the walls onto the ceiling to hiding in separate rooms of the building. But with each attempt, it only ended in Perry being spotted by Ezekiel, and being chased out into another room.

Perry was so frantic and so concerned about staying alive from this beast that he had completely forgotten that the front door of the building was open. Instead, he ran back up to Doofenshmirtz's lair, only to find the mad scientist waiting there, maniacally laughing. "There is no escape, Perry the Platypus! Soon, my wild beast will consume you and have you for lunch! And once he's done with you, I'll unleash him on the entire Tri-State Area to reek havoc and cause chaos all over..."

As he was continuing his evil rant, there was a knock at his door. "Dad!" And it was his daughter, Vanessa, on the other side. She slammed the door open, gathering the attention of her father, Perry, and Ezekiel. "Where were you! You were supposed to pick me up from the movies an hour ago!"

"I thought your little boyfriend was supposed to drive you home."

"He had to go somewhere. Besides, we agreed that you would pick me up from the movies today! Where were you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Vanessa. I guess I got caught up in taking care of my new pet..." He moved out of the way to reveal his new feral beast, standing there on all fours, eying Perry down. It was only when Vanessa screamed upon seeing it did he look up and eye her. "His name is Ezekiel."

"Dad, what _is_ that! What did you do to him?"

"Hey, I didn't do anything to him. He was like this when I bought him at the pound for $17." Perry looked slowly up at him as Doofenshmirtz stood there proudly. He raised an eyebrow. "What? I never said he was expensive."

"Well, it's cruel and unusual! You need to return that _thing_ to where it came from right now!"

"But-"

"It's sick to be doing this to anybody, especially to him!" As Vanessa continued to insult him and Doofenshmirtz, Ezekiel couldn't help but begin growling at Vanessa. "W-Why is he growling at me?"

"I guess he doesn't like the fact that you're upset at me. I mean, I _am_ his master, after all. But, uh, I can't let him attack Vanessa. She is my daughter after all." He saw out of the corner of his eye Ezekiel slowly closing in on Vanessa. Vanessa had begun taking steps back to avoid being attacked by him. "Now, my little pet, there's no need to get all upset like this. S-She's just never seen anything as hideous as y-VANESSA, RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Taking her father's advice, she quickly turned around and started running down the hall, with Ezekiel quickly chasing after her, snarling and grunting. She screamed the whole time was running; Perry was right behind her, followed by Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

* * *

Back on the ground, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were just finishing up the design for their "great-tasting burger" that Candace had asked them to make for her. When they were done with the design, Candace took them all back to "Rock Solid Burgers" to show her boss the design they came up with.

They went up to his office and knocked on his door. "Enter." The stern voice on the other side said. Candace, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella slowly entered the man's office. "Flynn, what are ye doing back here. You should be makin' me money out at the register. Who are these barnacles. "

"Sir, these are my brothers and their friend."

"Hi, there, good sir. I'm Phineas, and this my stepbrother, Ferb, and my girlfriend, Isabella."

"I don't care who ye barnacles are. Just get out of me office."

"But sir, we have a way to attract you more customers." Candace explained firmly.

"You do? Argh, now why didn't ye say so, land lubber? Show me." Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Candace led the man back to the kitchen, and placed their hamburger meat onto the grill. The hamburger meat was shaped into a ball, unlike regular burgers. This logic confused the boss, but, seeing as Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, & Candace were confident in their creation, he stuck with it.

"Now, we just turn on the grill and set this ball of raw meat onto the grill." Phineas took the ball of meat and placed it on the open grill. "See, the heat from the grill that cooks the meat will slowly cause the meat to dissolve and lose its spherical shape. As a result, it'll "melt", so to speak, down into the shape of a regular, 3 inch thick hamburger, the tastiest hamburger known to mankind. And the best part is..." Phineas used a nearby spatula to flip the burger. "It only takes 30 seconds." After a few more seconds had passed, the burger was down, and the patty was given to the boss to try. "Here, try it. But be careful. It's still hot."

The boss took the patty, and, after waiting a moment to let it cool down, took a bite out of it. A few chews, and a smile started growing on his face. The taste was so delightful that he wanted to gobble up the whole burger...and he did. In less than 10 seconds, I might add. The four kids watched in amazement, observing him eat the entire burger.

"SO, what do you think?" Phineas asked.

"What do I think, boy-o? I think that this here is the most delectable patty I've ever eaten! This'll surely attract some customers and run that ol'e Slushy Burger into the dirt! I don't suppose you have any more of this delicious meat on ya, do ya?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Not only did they have more meat on them, but they had about a year's worth of meat with them. So, Candace started cooking up the patties, and Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella started advertising them all across the Tri-State Area. They took the airwaves, the telephone poles, and even the radio, to advertise their product to everyone. The turnout was beyond everyone's expectations, as soon enough, there were hundreds of customer at a time lining up to buy their creation.

"This is amazing!" The boss shouted in glee. "I've never had this many customers at one time. This here meat o' yours is fantastic! How did you boys do it?"

"Well, sir, it's really quite simple. You see-"

"Uh oh. Trouble." Candace said quickly, pointing out to the line of people in front of them. They could see that there was only a few more people until Jeremy Johnson was at the register.

"It's Jeremy." Phineas determined.

"Well, this isn't going to turn out well." Isabella said, fearing the conflict that would ensue between Jeremy and Candace. Jeremy approached the front of the line, looking angrily at Candace.

"Candace."

"Jeremy."

The tension between Candace and Jeremy was visible from everyone there, even the boss. But Jeremy did not allow the tension and the anger he felt towards Candace stop him from being friendly with Phineas and Ferb. "Hey guys." He said calmly and happily to Phineas & Ferb.

"Hey Jeremy." Phineas replied back.

"I heard about your new awesome-tasting burgers, and I want in." He held up some cash and put it on the counter. "My buddy Daris gave me a taste of it and now I think it's my new favorite food. Ooh, I see it!" He saw an uncooked burger ball sitting next to the stove. "It's mine!" Apparently, the incredible taste of the new burgers had caused Jeremy to develop an addiction to them, an addiction so strong that he would do anything for one...even eat one raw. "Come to me, my pretty!" He said to the burger ball before taking a big bite of it.

"Jeremy, no! It's not cooked yet!" Phineas tried to reason with him, but the boy was enjoying his treat so much that it didn't even phase him.

"Mmm, this is so good! I feel like I've died and gone to heaven." He looked down at Phineas. "I don't know what you're so worried about. This is probably the greatest food in the history of...of..." He soon felt his stomach rumbling; the raw food began to creep back up his stomach into his throat. "Uh oh." And then, without warning, he threw up his food. And the unfortunate thing was that he threw it up in front of everybody. Needless to say, every other customer in the joint saw this, and grew disgusted themselves. Not with the food, but moreso with the fact that he had thrown up in front of them.

So in a rage, they all put their meals down and started heading for the door. They shouted several things, several unrepeatable things, as they made their exit. The boss watched in horror. "No! Where're you all going, laddies!" He shouted, in a desperate attempt to get his customers back. "Wait! Stop! The food's delicious! No! Don't leave! Me beautiful customers!" He buried his head into his hands for a moment, horrified at the prospect of losing all of his customers.

Angrily, Candace turned to Jeremy. "Jeremy, how could you!"

"What? It's not my fault your brothers don't know how to cook a decent meal."

"But that's just it, Jeremy. It had to be cooked first. Duh." Phineas said calmly, yet somewhat angrily. Jeremy looked at the other burger balls sitting on the grill that were now cooking into actual burgers.

"Oh...oh I see."

"Oh, so it's not bad enough that you've ruined my summer! Now you have to ruin my brother's summer, too!" Candace prepared herself to give Jeremy a beating, but was stopped by Isabella.

"Candace, no! You should never punch a boy like that! It's wrong."

"But..."

"Besides, it always hurts more when you kick them in the groin." She said proudly, going up to him and preparing to hurt him.

"Yeah, Can-wait, what?" Jeremy appeared confused as Isabella proceeded to kick Jeremy in his family jewels. The force of the kick caused Jeremy immense pain, which not only resulted in him tearing up, but it also resulted in him screaming really loudly...like an opera singer (a female opera singer I should add). Everyone around him dropped their jaws in astonishment, listening to him wail like an opera singer.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was having his own problems. Vanessa had run into a storage closet within the building to keep herself away from Doofenshmirtz's "Guard Dog" (Ezekiel). Ezekiel had her cornered, and there was no way out with having to face him. Perry the Platypus was not too far away from him, but exercised caution while approaching him. Ezekiel growled at the door and readied himself to attack and knock it down.

But the sound of Jeremy screaming like an opera singer downtown got his attention. He listen attentively for a moment, then snarled, the sound of the horrible opera singing cracking his eardrums. He roared and turned to the open window on the other side of the hall, and started running right towards it, jumping out of it. Luckily, it was open.

"Is that...Is that opera music!" Doofenshmirtz inquired. "Oh no! Opera music is his one weakness! It drives him mad."

"Seriously?" Vanessa angrily questioned from within the closet, as she slowly opened the door.

"What? He _is_ a teenage boy, after all, and you know how boys get with operas."

* * *

Phineas shook his head as the screaming finally stopped. "Seriously, that's weak."

"Very weak." Ferb jumped in. Although they still liked Jeremy and respected him as a friend, they were unimpressed with the way he screamed. So, ready to call it a day, the kids & Candace all began heading out the door.

"Wait, missy? What about your here job?" The boss asked.

"Oh, no worries! I quit!" Candace shouted as she made her way out the door. The boss angrily turned to Jeremy.

"Well, thanks a lot, you bottom feeder! Thanks to you, I just lost one of the best employees I've ever had!"

"Hey, it's not _my_ fault she doesn't know how to cook-" Jeremy would've continued on. But at that moment, he heard some kind of growl come from behind him. He turned around (rather arrogantly, I might add), and his eyes went open upon laying them on the feral beast in front of him (Ezekiel). "Uh...h-hey, little guy. You look great." He wasn't exactly sure what the circumstances were surrounding him, so naturally, he screamed upon being attacked by him.

The kids were all out the door and talking about their day. "Jeremy really needs to learn how to let things go." Phineas said as they all heard Jeremy scream like an opera singer again, being "mauled" by Doofenshmirtz's "Guard Dog".

"_And_ how to scream like a normal boy." Ferb added.

**End of Episode 36b!**

**So, tell me what you thought of it! This very well is not my best work, but I'm certain I could've done much worse.**

**Next Time: When Phineas accidentally catches Candace in an act of rebellion, his conflicting feelings over whether to bust her put his relationship with her to the test. Meanwhile, Monogram attempts to get Perry to enroll Doofenshmirtz's new "Guard Dog" into the O.W.C.A. May include a musical number.**


	46. 37: Busted!

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 37: Busted!**

**Episode Summary: ********When Phineas accidentally catches Candace in an act of rebellion, his conflicting feelings over whether to bust her put his relationship with her to the test, especially when something happens that calls for somebody to come clean. Meanwhile, Major Monogram attempts to get Perry to enroll Doofenshmirtz's new "Guard Dog" into the O.W.C.A.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
____'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
____So the problem for children of this generation,  
____Is finding a good way to spend it  
____Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

It was almost the end of another beautiful summer day in Danville. Everyone was just about to settle in their houses for the night, the sun was about to set, and nothing but a peaceful, quiet, tranquil joy filled the airs of the Tri-State Area.

The Flynn-Fletcher family were relaxing on their living room couch, watching TV. They were joined by Isabella, who was over just to see Phineas. She was embracing him around his neck as the two of them watched the TV with the others.

"And in other news, residents of Danville, be on the lookout for a wild animal described as "very pale, slightly green skin, ripped Canadian-like clothes, black eyes, and few hairs on his head that stands on all fours. Not much is known about this rare beast except that is was once apparently a reality contestant on some lame Teletoon show. Unfortunately, due to confidentiality reasons, we cannot reveal the name of the beast or of the show. All we _can_ say is whoever are the parents of this wild animals...I sure hope you're proud of yourselves."

While they were watching the news, Candace's cellphone went off. She stood up and went into the kitchen so she wouldn't disturb everyone else. "Hello?"

"_Candace?"_

"Oh, hi Stacy. What's up?"

"_You are not going to believe this: there's this new hot club that's opening up in town. It's called "Hot Rod!", and it's awesome! And I know because Megan's blog says she thinks so."_

"No way."

"_Way. So, you in?"_

"Uh, yeah. Totally! So, when it's opening?"

"_Tonight."_

"Tonight? As in, when the moon is up? And when there's a curfew for little kids."

"_Yeah. That's when night usually comes. Candace, what's the matter? I thought you would be excited to go partying now that you're completely over your obsession with busting your brothers."_

"Nothing, it's just...it's just that my mom would never let me go out late at night."

"_Then sneak out. Duh. She doesn't have to know."_

"But I've never-"

"_Candace, look, I know you just want your mother's love and respect, and you have that. I really doubt sneaking out this one time is going to put a damper on your relationship with her."_

"I...guess so. But still, I've never...sneaked out before and I never thought I'd have to. I mean, I'm not exact the "rebellious" one. Oh, Stacy, what am I going to do? I really want to go out and have fun for a change. It's been so long since I've gone to a party. But...I don't know if I would have the guts to actually sneak out after curfew."

_"I hear your new boy toy, Kurt, is going to be there."_

"Kurt? The skateboarder bad boy?"

"_Yep. Him and his pals._ _Look, it's opening up at 11 PM tonight. If you chance your mind, meet me by the front entrance."_ Candace heard a click coming from Stacy's end of the connection. Stacy had hung up, leaving Candace with a lot to think about. She closed her cellphone and rubbed her head in frustration. She had to contemplate her decision, whether or not it would be worth it to sneak out and party at a club she had never even heard of, with the chance to see her new crush, Kurt.

With her family (and Isabella) distracted by the TV, Candace decided to go up to her room and contemplate her decision there. She opened the door to her bedroom to find Perry sitting on her bed for no apparent reason. "Ew, Perry!" She shouted, running over and picking him off of her bed. "You know I don't like having you on my bed!" Being the mindless pet that he was, he made his platypus growling sound, and nothing else. "Oh, don't do that. You know I love you. I just hate you when you're on my bed." She put him down on the floor and petted him. "Now you run along and find Phineas & Ferb, OK?"

Perry started walking out of the room. The door closed behind him. But before he was able to make his way downstairs, his watch went off. His boss was calling him. So, he knocked on the wall right beside her door, and a little door lifted up right beside the bedroom door. He stepped through it, was taken through a tube downward, and ended up in his chair, by the big screen where he received his missions.

"Good evening, Agent P." Monogram said on the other side of the screen. "I apologize for disturbing you at this late hour. But I have some very urgent news. Using your spy watch, we were able to witness your intense battle against Dr. Doofenshmirtz's new...pet." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, now that his new pet is loose amongst the Tri-State Area, there is a widespread of panic all over. And we feel that if this beast is not captured, he will terrorize the entire Tri-State Area until we're nothing but mindless slaves or dust...whichever comes first. However, Carl and I have also come to the conclusion that this animal, with the proper training, could be a great asset to the O.W.C.A."

Perry turned as he heard his entrance door open up. Carl walked in carrying a big laser gun. "Now, this weapon that Carl is handing you has the power to brainwash that animal and make him believe that he is a member of our organization. I want you to blast him with it, and then bring him back here for evaluation. Or at least stop him from destroying the town. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry saluted, took the weapon, and went on his way.

* * *

Later that night, after the sun had gone down, and Isabella had left the Flynn-Fletcher house to return home (only to come back a couple of hours later for Phineas, see **The Talk** for more info), the family had decided to turn in for the night. After everybody had gone to bed, Candace had decided to put her plan into action. At about 10:40, after having "gone to bed", while her mother was watching, she sneaked out of bed, clothes on and everything, and began creeping out of her room.

Careful not to make a sound, she tip-toed down the hall towards the staircase. The first room she passed on her way was her parents' room. The door was open for no apparent reason. She peered in and the first thing that caught her sight was her mother lying in bed. Linda was out cold in her bed, in a state where nothing could wake her up.

_Gee, Mom sure is a heavy sleeper. Now I know where Phineas gets it from. _Candace thought to herself as she crept past the room. The next room she passed was Phineas & Ferb's room. The door was cracked slightly open. She peered in and could see Phineas and Ferb sleeping peacefully in their respective beds. _Night, guys._ What Candace had no idea of was that the image of Phineas sleeping was merely an image, and under a contraption that Phineas had built, he and Isabella were sleeping peacefully together in his bed, with Isabella cuddling him close to her.

Candace believed that it would be easy to sneak out of the house without anybody finding out. Unfortunately, that was before she tripped on her way down and fell down a whole flight of stairs. She landed hard on the floor, yet surprisingly, she stood up and dusted herself off with no injuries at all. Assuming that she was in the clear, she walked triumphantly out the front door. Sadly, though, she was anything but.

The resulting crashes downstairs caused Phineas to stir around in his sleep. He opened his eyes and set up vigorously, not even realizing that Isabella was holding him. He gently took her hands off of him and got out of bed to see what the commotion was. Wiping a bit of drool from his mouth, he slowly approached his bedroom door, but stopped when the noise started coming from outside. He rushed back to his window and peered outside. The first thing that Phineas saw was his sister exiting the home and heading out towards the garage.

Just to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he rubbed his eyes heavily, eyes that were still heavily induced with sleep. "C-Candace?" Candace had gone into the garage and had gotten her bicycle to ride off to the "club" Stacy had told her about. "What's she doing out here this late at night?" He contemplated going after her and seeing what she was up to (and if all of this wasn't just a dream), but before he did so, he went back to his bed, took a good look at the girl sleeping in his bed, and kissed her on her forehead. "I'll be right back, Isabella. Keep my bed warm for me, OK?"

After he parted from a hug, he climbed out of his window to investigate. When he turned to the garage, he saw it open, and the next thing he saw was Candace rushing out of the garage, riding her bike. He jumped behind a bush near the home so she wouldn't see him. He peered over the leaves and observed the direction she was riding off in. "Where is she going? I better follow her just to be safe."

So he rushed off to the garage and grabbed his bike, making sure to close the garage before leaving. Unfortunately, what he had absolutely no knowledge of was that Ezekiel, the "Guard Dog" that Doofenshmirtz had bought earlier that day and had escaped, was stalking the Flynn-Fletcher home. Sensing Phineas leave, he immediately started chasing after him, with Perry following him as well.

Phineas stayed a reasonable distance behind her so he wouldn't draw any attention to himself. Candace and Phineas both spent about 25 minutes non-stop riding on their bikes before they finally arrived at the "Hot Rod" club that Candace was told about. Candace parked her bike in the parking lot, and Phineas followed suite into the lot, trying to find an opening bike space for his bike.

Meanwhile, in the front of the building, Stacy was waiting for Candace, in a long line of people waiting to get into the club. "Candace!" She called.

"Stacy!" Candace ran over to her. Stacy was saving her a spot at the very front of the line.

"Glad you decided to come."

"So, what kind of place is this, anyway?"

"It's this really awesome club where there's entertainment, dancing, refreshments, it's like a birthday party without the whiny kids or the clowns. Oh, that reminds me." Stacy reached into her pocket and pulled a card out, handing it to Candace. "You're going to need this to get it."

"What is it?"

"Just an I.D. card."

"Wait, why could I have just brought one from home."

"Uh...uh, because these are...laminated. Yeah, laminated! They'll only let you in if they are laminated. They don't like knock-offs."

"Oh. Well, then, can't argue with that." Candace was easily able to buy into Stacy's "lie". The truth of the matter was, however, that the I.D. card Stacy had handed her was a fake I.D., listing her age as "19". The "Hot Rod!" club was an exclusive club that was only open to those age 19 or older. As they approached the front of the line and showed the man at the front their I.D.'s, they entered what would soon be known as the coolest club in town.

"Whoa..." Candace gazed inside the club. She saw a bar serving drinks, a table of refreshments off to the other side, a dance floor, a stage, and a DJ. The club basically had everything a teenager could ask for. "This place is awesome!"

"You like it already? The party hasn't even started yet. Wait until you see the entertainment." Stacy shouted over the noise of everyone else in the building. "Oh, and there's someone here to see you."

"It better not be Jeremy. Stacy, I swear-"

"Hey, Candace!" A voice called from the other side. He started running up to Candace, revealing himself to be her new crush, Kurt.

"Kurt? Oh my gosh, it's so great to see you!" She said. He arrived over with ease and went to give her a hug.

"You made it. What do you think?"

"This place is amazing. It's hip, it's now, it's lively...man, I don't know why I was so worried about coming in the first place."

"See? I told you this was worth it. And your mom's never going to know."

"Right...right."

* * *

Meanwhile, down the street, Ezekiel was quickly closing in on where Candace & Phineas had gone. Perry knew that if he got anywhere near them, he would go berserk and attack them without warning. So he kept close behind him and when he felt that the time was right, he pulled the trigger on the weapon Monogram had supplied him, firing a laser at him. It missed by a mile, but it got Ezekiel's attention. He growled at Perry, then started running towards him. Perry continued firing his weapon, yet somehow, Ezekiel was able to evade every shot.

Eventually, Ezekiel tackled him to the ground, and after bashing him up a little bit, took the weapon and chewed it up, destroying it. Then he continued on his path to "Hot Rod!". The platypus had to regain his composure before he could do anything else. He stood up, dusted himself off, fixed his hat, and then turned on his jet pack to follow Ezekiel from the sky.

With a bird's eye view, Perry could clearly see that Ezekiel was heading for "Hot Rod!". He could also see Candace and Phineas's bike parked in the parking lot of the club. He had no idea why they were there, but that wasn't his concern. His main concern was protecting them from any danger.

Meanwhile, on the ground, Phineas had approached a window on the side of the building. He considered going to the front, but he saw the guard at the door and didn't wish to draw attention to himself. So he went off to the side. He could see Candace, Stacy, & Kurt inside, hanging out & enjoying themselves. "Wow, this looks like one cool teenage hangout." He said to himself. "It's hip, it's now, it's lively...the only thing missing is some entertainment." Phineas spent the next several minutes observing the club, noting how the teenagers behaved and acted while enjoying themselves. Most of them were just standing around and either talking or enjoying the refreshments. However, there were some that were up and about, a couple even dancing for no particular reason. "Hey, maybe Ferb and I should set up our own little hangout for the kids on our block. Yeah, it would have games, and food, and entertainment, and lights, and-"

He was stopped in mid-sentence by the sound of loud and angry snarling. Phineas turned around slowly to see where the snarling was coming from. And as it turned out, the snarling was coming from Ezekiel. Of course, Phineas himself had no idea who he was or what the situation was with him, which made it extra confusing to see him with very few hairs, liver spots, and torn clothes. "H-Hey, little fella." He said, trying to talk some sense into him. "Wow, you're a...green, little guy, aren't you?" He noted Ezekiel's green skin. "What are you doing out this late at night, huh?"

Ezekiel had a difficult time understanding what Phineas was saying. So, due to his new feral behavior, he edged closer and prepared to attack. "Now, th-there's no reason to get all edgy like that. I come in peace."

* * *

Candace, Stacy, and Kurt were enjoying everything that the club had to offer them, when a short, chubby, bald man stepped up to the microphone. "Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that our entertainment scheduled for the night, rap star Iyaz, will be unable to perform for us tonight." Everyone in the club groaned loudly. "Yes, he had a prior performance at the "Mall of America" and will not be here in time to perform for us."

"Well, now what are we supposed to do for entertainment!" One guy shouted in anger.

"Yeah! I came here to socialize and listen to some tunes!" Another one screamed. "Not to just socialize. This is bogus!" This uproar in complaints caused everyone else around them to start complaining and shouting as well. Everyone except for Candace & Stacy, since neither of them were an Iyaz fan.

"Well, that's a bummer." Stacy said, rather flatly.

"You said it!" Kurt replied angrily. "Do you know what happens when there's no entertainment here?"

"What?"

"The people start a riot. I'm serious, it turns into a freak show here. Before I moved to Danville, I read a story where the people in a "Hot Rod!" club went berserk on the manager before he apparently lied to them about the entertainment. Man, it was whack. They had to shut down the place for a week while they rebuilt it."

"Wow, that sounds horrible." Candace jumped in. "But now are _we_ supposed to do without entertainment."

"Who says we don't have entertainment?" Kurt asked a bit confidently. He ran up tot he stage and grabbed the microphone from the short, chubby guy. "Hey, people!" He shouted into the microphone, getting their attention. "You want some music or what!" His proposal was met with lots of cheering and rousing from everyone else. "Then I'm gonna need some help up here. Frado! Geoff! Rudy! Get up here!" He called for three of his friends to join him on the stage. "DJ! Play some music!" He instructed the DJ, throwing him a CD of a very popular (at least I would imagine it to be) upbeat song that he was certain would get the party started.

**_Oh!_**  
**_It's gonna be a big night_**  
**_We're gonna have a good time_**  
**_It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!_**

Almost immediately after the song began, there were some people who began dancing to the beat. Candace was not one of them; she was hesitant, surprised by the prospect of Kurt being able to sing, and he sung well.

**_1, 2, 3, all my boys and girls_**  
**_We're gonna party like it's the end of the world_**  
**_Let's get it started (Hey!)_**  
**_Started (Hey!)_**  
**_Started (Hey! )_**  
**_Whoa, whoa!_**

Outside, Phineas was also listening to the song being played for them. Like everybody else who was inside the building, he was getting down to the beat of the song. Ezekiel observed as Phineas began dancing by himself. Though he had long forgotten how to dance, he, too, was enjoying the song.

_**Waiting all week, now it's Friday night**_  
_**We're gonna get dressed up for the time of our lives**_  
_**Let's get it started (Hey! )**_  
_**Started (Hey! )**_  
_**Started (Hey! )**_  
_**  
'Cause I've been feeling**_  
_**Down, down, down. I need a pick me up**_  
_**Round, round, round, I wanna spin it up**_  
_**Loud, loud, loud, DJ take me away!**_

Slowly, as the song progressed, Candace found herself listening and enjoying the song the four boys were performing. She looked over to her side to see that Stacy had already gotten into it, and was dancing her heart out, much like everybody else was. She was hesitant to join in the dancing, as she was hesitant with even being there in the first place, but after looking up at the stage and seeing Kurt smile & wink at her, she decided that it was time for her to let loose and dance, like everybody else around her.

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night! (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night! (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_

_**It's been a long week  
Been working overtime  
I need a hot beat  
To get this party right  
I'm on another level  
Turn up the base and treble  
Turn it up! Turn it up! Turn it up! ('Cause I've been feeling)  
Down, down, down. I need a pick me up  
Round, round, round, I wanna spin it up  
Loud, loud, loud, DJ take me away!**_

The song continued to progress; and Candace was found to be enjoying herself more and more, her dancing become more and more loose & fluent with each beat of the song. "Whoo-hoo, this is awesome, Stacy!" She shouted over the music to her friend. "Who knew that I'd have this much fun!"

"I told you so!" Stacy called back. "Now are you happy you came?"

"Happy? Stacy, I've never felt this relaxed in my entire life!" She spoke the truth; this was the most relaxing Candace had ever done in her life, even though she was up and about, dancing the night away. Outside, Phineas heard Candace say that, and put on a smile. He enjoyed seeing his sister relaxed, yet he wasn't sure about the fact that she was out past curfew.

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_

Unfortunately, Ezekiel, who was about to attack Phineas, also heard Candace speak over the loud music. He stopped in his tracks and started growling again. He leaned towards the window and put his sights on Candace. He watched her dance for a few moments, and even though he found her dancing quite attractive, his animal instincts told him to attack her. So he edged up to the window, growling even louder than before.

_**1, 2, 3, call your boys and girls  
We're gonna party like it's the end of the world  
Let's get it started, started,  
Started, started, started! (Let's go!)**_

"Hey, dude, what'cha..." Phineas began, but was interrupted when Ezekiel turned around hastily and nearly clawed him in the face. "Whoa! Dude, what is your deal? You're acting like some sort of wild animal!"_**  
**_

_**1, 2, 3, all my boys and girls  
We're gonna party like it's the end of the world  
Let's get it started, started,  
Started, started (it's gonna be a big night)**_

Ezekiel started clawing viciously at the window, hoping to somehow claw his way into the building. But when that didn't work, he decided to take a few paces back, in an attempt to run right into the window and shatter it, thus gaining him entrance. "What are you doing, little green fella?" Phineas asked, unaware of his intentions or his state of mind.

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night! (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_

_**Oh!**_  
_**It's gonna be a big night! (Hey!)**_  
_**We're gonna have a good time**_  
_**It's gonna be a big, big, big, big, big, big night!**_  
_**Night!**_

The song ended, and everybody gave the four boys on stage a standing ovation, including Candace. They stepped off the stage and went around to see everyone. Kurt went right over to Candace. "Hey Candace."

"Kurt, that was amazing! I didn't know you could sing like that!" Candace shouted, excited that she had a singer and a skateboarder for a crush.

"Yeah, dude, that was awesome!" Stacy agreed.

"Thanks. I took up singing when I was really young. I don't think I'll want to be a professional singer, but it's something my friends and I do for fun on the side when we're not skat-" He wanted to continued, but he was interrupted by the sound of glass being shattered. Everyone turned their attention immediately to the sound of the crash, and everybody was surprised to see what had broken the glass. Since none of them had been aware of Ezekiel's existence beforehand, it was a shock to everyone to see someone as sickly looking as he was.

Their confused and questioning looks soon turned to terrified looks when Ezekiel started growling. In a panic, everybody began screaming and running around in a terror. Ezekiel began chasing anyone he could find. Though most people headed for the door, he stopped them and gave them a beating before they could get out.

"Candace!" Phineas shouted from outside, seeing that Candace & Stacy were in immediate danger. He contemplated breaking into the building and helping them, but he did not want to blow his cover.

Ironically, the next person he set his sights on was Candace. Edging closer to her from the door, he growled. Candace took a few steps back to get some distance between him and her. "Hey, little green fella. What's with the whole "werewolf" routine, huh?" Her reasoning techniques did not work, and Ezekiel leaped into action, clawing at her blouse, making a few tears in her clothing and causing major scratch marks on her body. She screamed in pain.

"Candace!" Stacy yelled, running to her aide. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I think so." Candace replied weakly, showing Stacy her bruises. "Yeesh, those are some nasty cuts. You better get to a doctor."

"NO! I can't!" She yelled quickly. "My mom and dad don't know I'm here. If they find out, I'm so busted!"

The word "busted" kept ringing in Phineas's ear. He despised that word so very much because of Candace's previous obsession with busting them. But it seemed that at this point, the tables were turned, and now Phineas was the one with the ability to "bust" Candace if he so chose. And if the fact that he could blackmail Candace if he wanted to weren't bad enough, how would he possibly explain to Isabella where he was? While Phineas was contemplating that decision, Perry sneaked from above and entered the now abandoned building (everybody, including Stacy & Candace, had evacuated now) to chase Ezekiel around, a task which proved both repetitive and useless, since Ezekiel managed to get away again anyway.

* * *

The next morning, Phineas and Ferb were busy working on their day's project: A giant, life-size hourglass, when Isabella poked her head into the backyard.

"Hey guys." She said cheerfully, approaching them casually.

"Uh, h-hi Isabella." Phineas replied, nervously. He wasn't sure how she would respond to him leaving her side the night before.

"Hey, Ferb, can I talk to Phineas alone for a couple of minutes?"

"Sure." Ferb replied, instantly dropping his tools and walking away, leaving Isabella and a nervous Phineas to talk. Isabella immediately walked up to him and hugged him, noticing his nerves. She hated for him to get nervous around her, even if there was something wrong.

"So, Phineas, where were you last night?" She asked. "One minute, I was holding you tightly in my arms and the next, you were gone."

"I was...I was in the bathroom. Yeah, I had to go to the bathroom. Real bad."

"You were gone for 2 1/2 hours. Who has to use the bathroom for _that_ long? Phineas, is everything OK? You're not exactly acting like yourself."

"I'm not?"

"You're all nervous like you've done something wrong or seen something wrong. What's up? You know, you can tell me."

"And you won't get upset?"

"Phineas, I'm here to help you and make you feel happy. Of course I won't get upset. Now start talking, mister."

He let out a sigh of relief and chuckled, feeling more relaxed already and he hadn't even started talking. "OK, here it is." He took in another deep breath and prepared to confess. "I heard and saw Candace sneaking out of the house last night, so I decided to sneak out to see what she was up to. I followed her all the way to this super secret club where all the teenagers gathered at. There was music, refreshments, the works. But then this wild animal came crashing into the building and started attacking everybody, including Candace."

"Well, that doesn't sound good." She gasped as Ferb returned, understanding the situation, having overheard their conversation from the house.

"No, no it doesn't. I think she might have been hurt pretty badly."

"So, what's the problem? It's not like you were hurt, right?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Ferb interrupted, immediately understanding Phineas's dilemma, despite not actually being in the position that Phineas was in. "The tables have turned. The prey is now the victim while the victim is now the prey?"

"Huh? Are you talking in riddles again, Ferb?"

"I'm saying that the roles of the family have been switched. Up until now, it was Candace who had a desire to "bust" us, if you will. But now, the "victim" has become the "prey", and it is now my stepbrother's turn to be the one with "busting" needs."

"Makes sense." Phineas immediately agreed. "But..."

"But what?" Isabella asked.

"I'm not so sure if I should tell Mom that Candace was out after dark last night."

"Why not, Phineas? It's the right thing to do."

"Yeah, but Candace spent so much time trying to get us in trouble. What if the impossible happens? What if I turn out to be just like her, and become obsessed with getting her in trouble that I lose the rest of my summer vacation."

"Phineas, that's not going to happen. You're better than that." Isabella assured him, giving him a kiss.

"I know that."

"And use this logic in your thinking: when Candace was out to "bust" us, we were not really doing anything wrong. Granted, our activities were "out-of-the-ordinary", but not illegal or really life-threatening, whilst here, she deliberately sneaked out after curfew to have fun at some club with her friends. That's deliberately breaking the rules."

"So you're saying I _should_ bust Candace?"

"I'm saying that the reasons are there and the ethics are clear. The choice, however, is entirely up to you."

"Well, if I _did_ want to bust Candace, I'd certainly do it while it was fresh in my mind, so if I do it, I'd do it before tonight, while it's still in thought. But for now, let's get back to our project." He said, dropping the subject for the moment. And with that, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella returned to their project without thinking another thought of it.

"So, Phineas, just out of curiosity, what kind of animal did you say you were attacked by?" Isabella asked.

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace was at Stacy's house. The two were going over the previous night's events, including the party, the wild animal attack, and Candace getting injured. Ezekiel had scratched her stomach very hard, even causing it to bleed.

"It doesn't look that bad." Stacy said, observing the wound Ezekiel had caused her. There were three cut marks, each not very big, but there was bleeding involved. "I'm sure with a little peroxide and a bandage, it'll look good as new."

"Are you kidding, Stacy? It looks horrible." Candace retaliated. "He even ruined my favorite red blouse. How am I supposed to explain _that_ to Mom!"

"Don't you know how to sew?"

"Barely!" Candace scoffed. "Didn't you see how my Fireside Girls uniform turned out? I can't sew to save my life! And if Mom ever finds out that I sneaked out after dark, I'm going to be so busted! Wow, I never thought I'd hear myself say that."

"What are you so worried about? Didn't you say that you didn't care if your mom found out because you were dabbing into "teenage rebellion"."

"Yeah, but that was before I got attacked by some kid who thinks everyday is Halloween. I mean, really, he looked like that freak from "Lord of the Rings". And what about my brothers! What if they find out?"

"What are you so worried about? They were at home, fast asleep, like good little boys should be."

"You're probably right. I just have to play it cool and treat this wound myself."

"Can you?"

"Sure. Shouldn't be that hard. Good thing I learned about that in the week before I came home from military training. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the outskirts of town, Perry was taking refuge inside the Danville Public Swimming Pool Building. After a long night of chasing and then being chased by Ezekiel, he needed some time to catch his breath...and to shave. After all, the long night had caused him to grow a little beard. When the coast was clear in one of the pool rooms, he came out from his hiding place, under one of the benches, and walked up to the pool water. He found it very degrading, but he was dying of thirst. He knelled down and attempted to cup some pool water into his hands.

But just as he was about to do so, the water began to bubble, indicating that someone was in the water. He bent down closer to get a better view, but he couldn't see beneath the water. The bubbling became stronger, and Perry became more afraid. He leaned in to start gulping it down, but as his beak touched the water, Ezekiel popped out and screeched, lunging at him and scratching his torso, ripping some hair off and leaving a cut scar.

With the coast clear, Ezekiel was free to pounce on Perry and give him the beat down of his life. He grabbed onto him and started pounding his head. Perry tried desperately to move around to break free, but to no avail. Ezekiel was simply too strong for him. He wasn't even able to reach into his hat or his back pocket so he could get a weapon that would brainwash him into thinking he was a member of the O.W.C.A. All the squirming around Perry did and he could not get Ezekiel off of him.

He was about to try to shake him off when a little boy and his dad came out of the locker room. The two laid their eyes on the animals, and screamed simultaneously. Ezekiel and Perry drew their attention away from each other and looked at the two men standing there. Perry wasn't sure how he should react to seeing them there, but Ezekiel did not hesitate. He jumped off of Perry, growled, and started attacking them. While they continued screaming, Perry spent time contemplating whether or not to actually help them. Although his head told him to do the right thing, his eyes told him otherwise. So, after much delay, he finally decided that he was exhausted and to just leave for him, figuring that Ezekiel would stop sooner or later.

He made his way for the exit, but before he had a chance to even open the door, the beast looked up and stared angrily at Perry, scratching the father once more before jumping off and running back to Perry. The platypus, scared out of his mind, opened the door and dashed out of the building. Ezekiel followed soon after. He led him into the streets, hoping to lose him in the heavy load of traffic. Unfortunately, Ezekiel was not only able to evade all of the oncoming traffic, but due to his quick movements and his scary appearance, he caused several car accidents on the street, the most severe being a 7-car pile up. Astonishingly, no injuries were inflicted onto the drivers or their passengers.

He chased Perry into a dark alleyway, an alleyway that had a dead end. There was a wall that stopped Perry from going anywhere, and with all of his flight devices used up, Perry had nowhere to go. All he could do was sit on the ground and wait for Ezekiel to finish him off. Ezekiel growled as he neared Perry. The platypus shivered in his fur, but just as he was about to be clobbered, Ezekiel found himself growing sleepy quickly, and finally, he collapsed to the ground, sound asleep. Perry looked up and gazed, seeing a familiar face holding a tranquilizer gun in his hands.

"That was for being acquaintances with Dr. Doofenshmirtz." Major Monogram said in his usually stern voice. Perry found the strength to stand up and walk over to his boss. "Uh, hello, Agent P. Nice to see you still in one piece. But boy, do you look beat. Doofenshmirtz's pet must've given you a lot of trouble." Perry, defeated, nodded . He had failed in his task to hypnotize the beast into thinking that he was one of the O.W.C.A's agents. "Oh well. No harm done. He may not be one of us, but at least he's temporarily inhibited. Come on, let's go get some lunch. It's on you, today." The offer of lunch did seem tempting, but as soon as Monogram said "It's on you.", Perry broke for home.

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella had completed their daily project, and had headed inside for some lunch. While they were eating, Phineas was still contemplating whether or not to tell on Candace. The responsibility of "busting" didn't exactly suite him very well, and frankly, he had been wishing that he didn't sneak out to check on her. And if that wasn't bad enough, Candace had just returned home from Stacy's house.

"Hi Candace. Nice of you to join us." Her mom immediately said. "Care for a sandwich?"

"No thanks, Mom. I already ate." She answered quickly, taking a seat at the table. Her blouse had been stitched up to hide the tears that were made. Of course, she still had the wounds on her torso to tend to. "I'm going to go up to the bathroom for a moment." And as quickly as she sat down, she got right back up and ran upstairs. At the same time, Linda & Lawrence stood up from the table and walked into the living room to watch some TV, leaving Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella sitting at the table. As Phineas continued to eat his sandwich, the thoughts of exposing Candace were still coursing through his mind.

"Phineas, what are you thinking about?" Isabella pondered. "You chew rapidly when you're thinking about something. And I can tell that it's not about tomorrow's activity because you're not smiling."

"What makes you so sure that I'm thinking about something."

"You have that serious look on your face that you should really only get when you're thinking about something, like school."

"Well, I'm still not sure whether or not I should try to bust Candace. I-I mean, she _did_ break curfew. But, after all those times she tried to bust us, she's finally giving Ferb and I a break. So...maybe I should give her one, too."

"But Phineas, she broke the rules deliberately. You guys didn't."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be right for me to turn the tables on her."

"So you're just going to ignore the situation and let her get away with it?"

"I don't know. Jeez, why do you have to harp on me? I'm still thinking about it! Ugh!" Frustrated, Phineas sighed and got up from the table. He started to walk into the living room to go upstairs and talk to Candace.

"Phineas, where are you going?" Isabella called, also getting up from the table to follow him. Ferb also followed them.

Phineas raced upstairs and found Candace trying to treat her wound herself in the bathroom, with very little success. "Candace?" He said immediately, which caused her to jump up, dropping her wound-cleaning utensils. She looked out of the room and saw him standing there.

"Phineas, don't scare me like that." She shouted. "I, uh..."

"That's a pretty nasty wound you've got there." He slowly entered the bathroom. She contemplated backing away, but she decided to stay put.

"Yes, yes it is. I got it when I was at Stacy's house. Her-Her dog scratched me."

"Stacy doesn't have a dog."

"Oh. Oh yeah, that's right. It's Jeremy that has the dog. See-"

"Candace, I know what happened last night." Phineas said firmly. "I overheard you sneaking out of the house, so I snuck out of the house to follow you and I saw everything that had happened."

"You...you did?"

"Yes."

"And does Mom know?"

"No, not yet. I-I'm not sure whether I should tell her or not."

"Why? After everything that's happened, I thought you'd jump at the opportunity to try and bust me."

"Are you kidding? You honestly think I'd stoop to _that_ level? Go out of my way and waste my entire summer vacation trying to get you in trouble just like _you_ used to do?" He called her out on her previous actions. "I'm _way_ above that!" His tone was slowly become sarcastic.

"Slow down there, bucko. What are you insinuating?"

"Candace, please. You were only trying to get Ferb and I in trouble because _you_ believed that you couldn't get away with such spectacular feats if you put your mind to it. But the truth is, if you had really put your mind to something, you couldn't achieved anything you wanted to. We weren't deliberately trying to break any rules or anything with our projects. But in this case, you did! You sneaked out of the house after curfew just to go to a party." By now his tone had gone from sarcasm to sheer anger, and he did not even realize it.

"Stacy said it would help loosen me up a little."

"Who cares? The point is, you broke the rules, and anybody who breaks the rules should face consequences. Nobody is above law, Candace. Especially you!" He pointed a stern and angry finger at her, hoping to get his point across. But when he realized how angry he had actually sounded, he lowered his arm and plopped down onto the floor. He had promised himself that he would never get that angry with anybody ever again and yet he had just shouted as his sister because the tables between them were turned.

Normally, Candace wouldn't fired back and yelled at him too. But, knowing that he was ultimately right, and the fact that Phineas looked like he was about to cry, Candace instead sat down on the floor next to him, and gave him a big hug & kiss. "You know what, Phineas? You're right."

"I am?" The boy asked, looking up at his big sister.

"I did break the rules intentionally, and I have to face consequences for them. So, if you want to tattle on me to Mom, it's fine by me."

"B-But-"

"I'll be fine. But I don't want to see you get like me, with the obsession of getting me in trouble. That's what ruined my summer. And let's face it. You without summer is like...is like...oh man, I can't think of a good metaphor! But you get my point."

"I'm sorry, Candace. But I won't tell."

"You won't? Why?"

"I'm glad to finally see you loosening up and having fun for a change. You always used to just ignore any fun and focus on Ferb and I. Now, you're enjoying yourself and spending time with your friends. That is what's important. So I think I can let go of it just this once. I mean, it's not like you did something crazy like use a fake I.D. to get in, right?"

"Right."

The doorbell rang downstairs. Linda approached the door and opened in, and there stood a police officer. "Well, good afternoon, sir." She politely said. Phineas & Candace both went downstairs to see who it was. "What can I do for you?"

"Are you Mrs. Linda Flynn-Fletcher?" The officer asked politely.

"Why, yes. Yes I am. Is there a problem?"

"Um, yes. I'm Officer Roy Jameson of the Danville Police Department. We're investigating a break-in and destruction-of-property crime committed last night by some teenage boy pretending to be a movie character."

"I-I don't follow."

"Last night, ma'am, the Hot Rod club was broken into and attacked. Thousands of dollars in damages were caused and there were many people who were attacked."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I don't exactly understand how this applies to me."

"Well, thanks to a viable source, we were told that your daughter, Candace Flynn, was present at the club on the night in question."

"Officer, I'm afraid you're mistaken. My daughter was here, sleeping, all night long. She couldn't possibly have been at that club. Right, Candace?"

"Right, Mom." Candace replied, hesitantly. She was starting to sweat.

"Well, ma'am, I must sympathize with you. It's always difficult when a child doesn't tell their parents about stuff."

"I-I don't underst-"

"We just talked to her friend, Stacy Hirano, and she gave her up."

"What!" Linda, Candace, and Phineas all shouted simultaneously. Linda looked back at Phineas; he tried to innocently hide his incentives by whistling.

"She also said that she and Candace used fake I.D.'s to get into the club."

"Fake I.D's? What is he..." Candace reached into her pocket and pulled out the I.D. card that she had used to get into the club. She was unsure what he had meant by "Fake I.D."...until she took it out and read it over again, realizing that the I.D. card had her age listed as "19" instead of "17." "STACY!"

"Candace, you snuck into a club after curfew...an older people's club? Without my permission?" Linda shouted, appearing quite upset. But surprisingly, she wasn't as upset as Candace had imagined. In fact, Linda wasn't even yelling. She was just talking very loudly.

"Uh...uh..." But still, Candace didn't know how she should respond to it. So, instead, she darted for upstairs so quickly that nobody was able to react to her. Everybody just stood there, motionless for a few moments. As soon as the officer finally left, and Linda went upstairs to talk to Candace, Ferb finally spoke up.

"Well, look on the bright side." He told him. "At least you don't have to worry about tattling on her anymore."

"Yeah, I guess so." Phineas sighed deeply and leaned into Isabella's grip. They all looked down and saw Perry walk up to them. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

* * *

**During the Credits**

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was pacing around feverishly in his lair, waiting desperately for an answer to his calls for help in locating his lost dog (Ezekiel). There was a knock at his door, and immediately, he rushed up to the door to answer it. "Coming!" He opened it, revealing a police officer standing there, holding Ezekiel by his hood like a leash.

"Excuse me, Mr. Doofenshmirtz?"

"Yes."

"We found your "pet". He was in the alleyway sleeping like a baby. We had to lure him with a Kit-Kat Bar."

"Oh, thank goodness you're safe!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, excited to see his pet home safe again.

"You best keep a better eye on this guy. He seems to be dangerous to little kids."

"I understand, officer. Thank you." He took Ezekiel's hood and brought him into the room, closing the door behind him. "Boy, am I glad to see you, Zeke. Now don't you run off like that again, OK? I don't want anything happening to you and your ferocious, animal state. You know, this reminds me of a little backstory. It all started many years ago, I had finally made my first real friend. You know, after Balloony, of course. His name was Chris, and-" The name "Chris" struck a chord with Ezekiel. He started snarling at Doofenshmirtz. "Uh, Zeke. You alright, buddy. You're looking a little tense. It's like you hate the name "Chris" or something-" And with that, Ezekiel growled angrily and started attacking Doofenshmirtz. "No! NO, PLEASE! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE! Ow, stop scratching my face! Somebody! Anybody...HELP ME!"

After a few minutes, Ezekiel had let up, giving Doofenshmirtz some breathing room. "Ouch. What was that all about!" He asked, his speech slightly slurred, sped on from the injuries he sustained. "It's like he has a problem with the name "Chris"..." And as quickly as he had stopped, Ezekiel had started up again. "No, NO! OUCH! MY BEAUTIFUL, GERMAN FACE! Curse you, Reality TV Show Host, Chris McLean! Why couldn't you just have let him back onto the plane willingly!"

**End of Episode 37!**

**Hope you enjoyed reading. Don't you just love irony?**

**Next Time: Another Law & Order parody. As the Flynn-Fletcher family rallies to get Candace back into school (she was expelled in "Dude, Where's My Girlfriend?" if you recall), Candace learns to move on from Jeremy, and vise-versa, as she continues to prove that her new personality is the real deal and not just an act. May also include a musical number.**

**Expected Update: No guarantees, but I'm trying for a November 11th update. That's the day of my dog, Snowflake's birthday. (She'll be 3!)**


	47. 38: Redemption

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 38: Redemption (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: A 2-part "Whodunit" episode. As the Flynn-Fletcher family rallies to get Candace back into school (she was expelled in "Dude, Where's My Girlfriend?" if you recall), Candace learns to move on from Jeremy, and vise-versa, as she continues to prove that her new personality is the real deal and not just an act. But her personality is put to the test when she is framed for a crime.**** Law & Order parody. **

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! The _Law & Order_ franchise does not belong to me either. That belongs to _Dick Wolf_, and what a fabulous job he has done.**

* * *

___**"In a world where the task of receiving a quality education and acquiring a well-paid and well-enjoyed employement is next to impossible, the children of today are challenged to unleash a quality that opens up a realm of options leading to different kinds of opportunities, a quality known as "Imagination". In the world of adolescence, the term 'imagination' is defined on a daily basis by two young stepbrothers bent on making each day better than the last: one who leads the day by voice, and the other who leads by action. These are their stories."**_

The sun was up on another spectacular day in Danville at the early hour of 5:30 AM. Everyone in town was busy with their daily plans. The episode begins at the Danville Café, with the place packed with people enjoying their morning coffee before heading off to work.

"So, get this. My wife and I were walking in the Super Duper Mega Store when out of nowhere, I run into my ex-girlfriend, Harriette."

"No way."

"Way. So she says hi, and then my wife says I. And then my wife asks me to introduce her, and I get all nervous and I end up getting pit stains all over my brand new shirt. And then, if that wasn't bad enough..." The man was about to continue his story to his friend, when he heard the front door to the store open. He and his friend looked behind them, and saw that the person who had entered the store was heading towards them. "Can I help you?" He said casually to the new customer. No response initially came. "Hey, what's your deal? You got asthma or something?" He asked, noting the stranger's heavy and angry breathing. But again, no response. "Hey, can you hear me? I'm talking to you. Wait, wait! What are you doing! Uh-oh. No! NO!"

About a half hour later, police had arrived at the scene of the crime. After the fuss had died down earlier, the man who had been attacked had received minor injuries, including a twisted ankle & bloody nose. The Danville Police Station was called to solve the problem and assess the situation.

"So, what do we have here?" One of the detectives asked, approaching a police officers.

"We got reports of an assault here." The officer replied. "Two people were attacked. One sustained minor injuries. The other got away without a scratch." The officer led them to the man who had more severe injuries. "The victim's name is Ronald Macintosh."

The detectives approached the victim. "Ronald Macintosh?"

"Y-Yes?" The man hesitated.

"I'm Detective Marsh, and this is my partner, Detective Povenmire. Sir, can you tell us what happened here?"

"I-I was sitting here, talking to my friend, Casey, when all of a sudden, t-this crazy person came out of nowhere and started attacking us."

"Did you get a good look as his face?"

"I'm not even sure it was a "he". His voice was far too shrill to be a guy's voice. But she sure can fight like a guy. All I was able to get a good look at was this menacing, angry, hateful look on his/her face, and these big, baboon-like arms that reached out and grabbed me and started hurting me. That's all I remember. Oh, and they were wearing a red, sleeveless top. I couldn't tell whether it was a regular shirt or a blouse"

"Thanks." The two detectives left the man alone to recover from his injuries, and while they were walking back, they had a little conversation on the crime that had just been committed.

"Well, whoever did that to him sure knows how to fight." Detective Marsh said.

"Or he has an anger issue." Detective Povenmire replied as they walked out of the store. "Either way, he didn't make it easy for us."

* * *

___[Law & Order Theme Song plays]_  


* * *

_**2308 Maple Drive, 7:09 A.M.**_

Meanwhile, on Maple Drive, Phineas and Ferb were already wide awake and in their backyard, thinking about the project that they were going to do.

"OK, Ferb, let's get started." Phineas said optimistically to his stepbrother as they went through their blueprints of stuff to build to find the one that they had decided to do. As they were busy getting their project set up, Isabella came into the picture, in her usual attire and happy-go-lucky state of mind.

"Good morning, Phineas." Isabella giggled, going up to Phineas and giving him a kiss and a hug, sitting down next to him. "And how's my cutie-pie doing today?"

"Oh, hi Isabella. I didn't hear you come in." He replied, reaching out and giving her a hug back. "We're just getting the blueprints ready for our project today?"

"This early? Phineas, it's only 7:00. Usually, you're not out here until 8. What? You wake up at 5 in the morning, or something?"

"Actually, 4:30. I was so excited about today's project that I didn't want to waste anytime and I started drawing up the blueprints."

"Alright, but you know how I worry about you and how I want you to take it slow if you start getting tired. After all, your body does need rest, and a tired Phineas does not make for a happy Phineas."

"Yes, _Mom._" Phineas said sarcastically, followed by a playful laugh, as well as a hug & kiss exchange. "Oh, you know I love you, right?" The three kids played around as they started getting the tools out for their project when a couple of cop cars showed up in front of the house. Detective Povenmire & Detective Marsh stepped out and approached the backyard and the three kids.

"Excuse me, kids." Detective Povenmire said. "Are your parents home?"

"Why yes, yes they are. They're inside the house. Is everything OK?"

"We just need to ask them some questions." The detective replied. He and his partner went out of the backyard and through the front door, like regular people, ignoring what the three children were doing.

"Gee, I hope Mom and Dad aren't in trouble." Phineas said to his friends as the three of them returned to their project.

Meanwhile, inside the house, Linda was on the phone at the breakfast table while Lawrence was sitting on the couch, reading his morning newspaper. The detectives knocked on the door. Lawrence got up and answered the door. His facial expression showed his utter surprise to see the detectives standing there. "Hello gentlemen. Can I help you?"

"Yeah. Detective Marsh. This is my partner, Detective Povenmire." The two detectives held up their badges to identify themselves as the real deal. "May we come in?"

"Uh, yes, sure. Of course." Lawrence didn't hesitate to let the officers in. He wasn't one to intimidate or defy authority.

"Lawrence, honey, who was at the door?" Linda said, while still on the phone. She took one glance up and saw the detectives standing there. She hung up right away. "I'll have to call you back, Vivian. Yes, officers, can I help you?"

"We're with the Danville Police Station. We'd like to ask you a few questions."

"May I ask what this is about?"

"We're investigating an assault case."

"OK, but I'm not exactly sure what I can help you with." The detectives took a seat at the table, as did Lawrence.

"Well, see, here's the problem, Mrs. Flynn, we have a suspect that suffered minor injuries following a fall-out at the Danville Café. Now, the victim I.D.'d us a suspect that has a description fitting your daughter, Candace Flynn."

"What? But that's impossible. When did this happen?"

"At around 5:30 this morning. Mrs. Flynn, can you account for your daughter's whereabouts at the hour of 5 this morning?"

"Yes. As it turns out, she was right here at home, sleeping like a baby. I even checked her room to make sure she was still here."

"Are you both sure that it was Candace at the scene of the crime?" Lawrence asked them.

"Well, it is a possibility. The description does fit, but we're not making any hasty moves until we know all of the facts. Is your daughter home at the moment?"

"Of course she is. I'll call her down." She took in a deep breath. "Candace, honey, could you come down here for a second?" She called upstairs. Candace wasted no time in obeying her mother's wishes and strutted down the stairs with ease. But seeing the detectives standing in the kitchen with her parents spoiled her bright & bushy-eyed attitude that she had when she woke up.

"Mom, what's going on here?" She asked hesitantly. The detectives slowly approached her.

"Are you Candace Gertrude Flynn?"

"Yes." She sighed, hating the mere mention of her middle name.

"I'm Detective Povenmire, and this is my partner, Detective Marsh. We're investigating an assault case and we'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Honey. Don't say anything to these people!" Linda ordered. She was not about to accept the accusations that her daughter had done something wrong. "You're not guilty of anything."

"Mrs. Flynn, we're not accusing your daughter of anything yet. So calm down." Detective Marsh insisted. "We're simply asking her some questions."

"Like...?" Candace asked.

"Where were you at the hour of 5 this morning?"

"Uh, here, in the house, sleeping. No sane-minded teenager should have to wake up at that hour during Summer. Of course, the same can't be said about my little brothers."

"So you were in this house and not at the Danville Café?"

"No. Why? What is this about?"

"Like we said before, we're investigating an assault case, and, as implied, it took place at the Danville Café." Detective Povenmire explained to her. "The victim, whose name we are not obligated to give, described their attacker as someone with a menacing look on their face with baboon-like arms that could "fight like a guy"."

"Gee, that's a shame. But why are you coming to me about this?"

"Because he also described the attacker as someone with "anger issues" and that he/she was wearing a red top. And, well, with all due respect, since you're not exactly...girly-like, people are pointing to you as the prime suspect."

"Those people are wrong, because I haven't even gone into town today. And I'll have you know that I am very girly. I listen to girly music, I wear girly clothes, and I haven't yelled or screamed since I came home nearly a week ago."

"Ooh, you've gone a whole week without yelling. I'm so impressed." Detective Marsh sarcastically remarked.

"Hey, for Candace, that's pretty good." Lawrence remarked, while Detective Povenmire shot back an angry glare at him. Lawrence backed off, hoping to avoid any trouble.

"Well, we'll keep in touch if we need to." Marsh told them. The two detectives started making for the door. They didn't look back. If they had looked back, they would've seen the angry scowl on Linda's face.

"Don't you worry, Candace." Linda whispered angrily to her daughter. "I believe you. I know you're not crazy enough to actually go in and beat somebody up like that."

"No, but I've gotten pretty close to that point. Trust me on that one. You can even ask Phineas and Ferb if you want."

* * *

**_Danville Café, 7:36 A.M._**

"Yeah, I saw the incident, and it wasn't pretty."

The Detectives had decided to return to the scene of the crime to ask some people around and see if any of them had more information to use for their investigation. They decided to question one of the workers.

"Did you manage to get a good look at the attacker's face?"

"No, I was just coming out of the back with a fresh batch of cocoa beans to refill the coffee machine. As soon as I did, I saw the man getting brutally attacked, so I ran in the back to take cover."

"Well, what _did_ you see?"

"I saw someone, about 5'8, white blouse, I _think_ they were wearing a white skirt, white shoes, and they had orange hair...oh, and a freakishly long neck, like a giraffe or something. I mean, that thing was long, it was ridiculous."

"Long neck, huh?"

"It was like a freakin' tree branch or something. Anyway, as soon as he started attacking, I called the police."

"Did you see this person attack anybody else?"

"Uh, actually, now that you mention it, I did see the guy through a couple of punches of other people on his way out, but not at all like the way he beat up that first guy. Man, it was scary. And when he left, he went up the street and I believe I saw her go into the Gym."

"Up the street?"

"Yeah"

"Thanks." The two detectives left the worker to continue, and then started heading up for the Gym to continue their pursue of an enemy.

* * *

**_Tri-State Area Training Facility, 8:05 A.M._**

Their next objective was to check out the Tri-State Area's Training Facility to question anyone who may have seen their suspect in the gym in the morning. The detectives had described to the manager the suspect's description, and the manager confirmed the suspect's presence in the gym.

"Red top? White skirt? Long neck? Red hair? Yeah, I remember that."

"What exactly did he do when he came in?" Detective Povenmire asked.

"Actually, it was a _she_."

"It _was_ a she, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of attitude did she have? You know, was she angry, rough, tense, anxious?"

"I don't see how that matters. But, actually, she was rather sweet. She was asking a lot of these questions on how to become a member at the gym so she could buff up and become stronger to "face her enemies"."

"Did she give specifics?"

"Nope, and I didn't even bother to ask. I just walked her through the process of signing up for a membership, and then I gave her her 1-year membership card. Here, I can pull up her information if you want."

"Yes, that would help very much." The worker led the two detectives to his computer, and typed on information in, resulting in pulling up some information. He turned the screen to them so they could get a good look at their alleged suspect. And the person turned out to be none other than Candace Flynn. "Her name is Candace Flynn."

The two detectives studied the information and the picture of Candace for a brief moment. For some reason, the picture she had apparently taken with them did not exactly match what Candace really looked like. There was something different about the picture, but the detectives could not figure it out at the moment. "Well, what do ya know?" Detective Marsh said softly. "Uh, thank you for your help." The two detectives turned and left the gym in a heartbeat.

Surprisingly, they were still not convinced that she was guilty, but their confidence was shaky following the information they had just learned. "Somebody's lying to us." Detective Marsh said. "The girl claimed that she had not left the house early this morning, yet according to the manager of that facility, she no has a 1-year membership with it."

"I say we ask around her neighborhood. See what her friends think of her. Maybe that'll lead us in the right direction."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Linda was on the phone, desperately trying to get Candace back into school. After having been expelled earlier in the summer due to her constant obsession with her brothers, Linda believed that Candace was ready to return to Stoolbend High.

"What do you mean you won't let her back in?" But the school wasn't so optimistic. "Look, I know Candace has been a little...edgy in the past. But you saw the news reports these past couple of weeks. She's better! She's not "bust" obsessed, anymore. Oh don't use that tone with me. Candace is a-" Before Linda could continue her angry rant, the person on the other line hung up the phone. "What? Did you just hang up! Fine! Candace doesn't need you or your loser employees!" She angrily put the phone down and crossed her arms.

Lawrence came into the room with his newspaper. "Everything alright, dear?"

"No. I've been on hold for the past 3 hours with Stoolbend High, and then, when I finally get a hold of them, they won't even let me fight for Candace. As soon as I mention her name, they're like "No way! Get her out of here!" I'm so mad right now I can't even see straight."

"Honey, relax. I'm sure we'll get this all sorted out. We just need to remain calm."

"But it's like they don't even care. They're not willing to listen to me or Candace. They just automatically assume that she's crazy."

"Well, honey, she _was_, up until now. But I know that with a little time, they'll come around."

"They better. Or I'll make them come around!"

"Now, if you do that, you'll just make things worse. The best thing to do right now is to relax and let things go, let them play out naturally. I'm pretty certain that Candace'll be back in school before the summer is over." And speak of the devil, Candace came downstairs dressed in her normal clothes. She approached the front door.

"Bye Mom! Bye Dad! I'm going to visit Stacy!"

"Be careful, honey. I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Please, Mom. What kind of trouble could I get into going to visit a friend? It's not like those detectives are going around, questioning all of my friends, are they?"

* * *

**_Johnson Residence, 8:38 A.M._**

Detectives Povenmire and Marsh approached the front door to Jeremy Johnson's house. They knocked twice and waited patiently for an answer. The front door opened, revealing Jeremy's mother to be standing there. "What do you want?" She said rather bitterly, having "woken up on the wrong side of the bed".

"We're with the Danville Police Department." Marsh told her, both of them holding up their badges.

"If this is about my unpaid traffic tickets, I told you idiots that I would pay them when I get the money. Get off my back!" She tried to shut the door quickly, but the detectives stopped her.

"It's not about that. But thank you for giving us a reason to arrest you if we feel like it." Povenmire fired back. "We're investigating an assault case and we'd like to talk to your son."

"What? MY son's accused of assaulting somebody. Listen, you dirty-"

"No, he's not the one accused! We'd just like to ask him a few questions. May we come in?"

"I suppose so. But no funny business!" She warned them. The two officers entered the home, and did not even glance back at Mrs. Johnson before looking for Jeremy.

"Gee, look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"You think?"

So they went up to Jeremy Johnson's room to explain to Jeremy the situation, and to ask him a few questions about Candace, hoping they could get some information out of him.

"Let me tell you something about Candace." Jeremy said angrily, dreading the name of his ex-girlfriend. "She's a nutjob!" He shouted. Ever since he had that fight with her, with Candace accusing him of cheating on Stacy with her, he has vowed to hate her guts, and Stacy's as well. "You can't believe a word out of that girl's big mouth!"

"It sounds to me that you've had quite a relationship with this girl." Detective Marsh said, only making Jeremy more upset.

"Oh, I did have a relationship with her. And it was a total waste of my time!"

"May I ask what happened?"

"That girl is a total psycho! While we were together, when she wasn't paying attention to me, she was paying attention to her brothers and constantly wasting her time trying to get them into trouble when all they were trying to do was enjoy their summer vacation."

"Believe me, kid. We know."

"She would almost always yell and scream at them for no reason, and blame them for her problems! I remember this one time where the boys were planning a wedding for their aunt & uncle, and everything creative they would come up with would not only be shot down by her rudely, but it was almost like she thought that it was _her_ wedding they were planning. Oh, those boys never forgot that day, and neither have I."

"Any other events that may explain her behavior?"

"There was also a time where she picked having the opportunity to bust her brothers over having a lifelong friendship with her friend, Stacy. And she was in total denial of it up until the end. It was painful. I just don't understand what goes on in that girl's head. She's crazy."

"Crazy enough to possibly...beat somebody up for no particular reason?"

"Definitely. I wouldn't be surprised if actually did do it."

"Well, that's what we're investigating. She's currently the prime suspect in an assault case."

"Surprise, surprise. Well, this is the first I've heard of it. But, if I hear anything, I'll let you know."

* * *

After talking with Jeremy, the two detectives decided to return to the police station to figure out where they stood on the investigation. Of course, the only thing they had at the moment was a couple of witness statements.

"So our attacker is a very tall, slender, male or female with "muscular" arms, a red top and white skirt, with white shoes, and a ridiculously long neck." Detective Povenmire explained. He and his partner were going over the facts.

"Well, there aren't that many people in Danville that fit that description." Detective Marsh replied. "In fact, the list is very short."

"But our facts don't add up. The family claims that the girl was at home in the wee hours of the morning, yet witnesses who were at the scene of the crime confirm that they saw someone whose physical appearance matches that of Candace Flynn."

"This girl isn't very well known for lying. She's not a lier. Her reputation is geared towards insanity."

"Hey, doesn't that Café have security cameras all around?"

"I think so. Why? You believe our attacker was caught on camera?"

"Provided that the cameras were working."

While the detective were busy with trying to solve this mysterious crime, they were completely oblivious to the fact that there was a microscopic bug right beside there. This particular bug belonged to the O.W.C.A., meaning that Major Monogram was listening in on everything they were saying, including the stuff about Candace.

So in a desperate act, Monogram immediately placed a call in for Perry to be summoned. Perry used an entrance from Phineas & Ferb's room to get down to his lair. "Good morning, Agent P. I apologize for the abrupt summoning. But, uh, we have a situation here. There hasn't been a public announcement regarding this yet. But, it appears that your owner's sister, a Candace Flynn, is the primary suspect in an ongoing assault investigation." Perry's eyes opened, shocked at the news. "I know. It's unbearable to hear. But I felt that you had a right to know. And I also felt you should know that I believe she is innocent. This goes against organization policy. But for you, Agent P, I just couldn't say no. Take a look at these security tapes from the Danville Café." The screen switched from Monogram to a replay of the fateful scene earlier in the morning.

Ten seconds into the video, "Candace" burst into the store, with an angry, unforgiving look on her face, as if she had had a nervous breakdown. Clenching her fists as tightly as she could, she stormed up to an unsuspecting man, grabbed him, and started punching him repeatedly, eventually shoving him to the ground to continue the beat down. Meanwhile, everybody around her was screaming maniacally and running around in a frenzy. Angrily, Candace stood up and shouted for everyone to be quiet. Unfortunately, since the tape only captured video and not audio, nothing could be heard. Afterwards, Candace trudged towards the front door, knocking out two more people before leaving. Then the screen switched back to Monogram.

Perry could not believe what he had just witnessed. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Agent P. But now, here comes the good news. We at the agency believe that this girl is innocent, and here's why." The scene switched back to the video, and it zoomed in on "Candace". From there, Carl (who was working on the video) pulled the image of "Candace" from the video, and from there, he put that image of Candace alongside a recent photo of Candace. "Now, if you will witness these two pictures side by side, you can clearly see that there are significant difference between them. Now, they're not so big that it's easy to tell them apart if you don't know her. But since we do, we can easily tell that somebody is trying to frame your sister."

"I mean, just looked at the face shape. Clearly, the face looks fuller on the photo than in the video. And, if you zoom in on the video..." Carl did so, revealing that "Candace"'s hair had been dyed red. Strands of black hair were visible in his her hair. "You can clearly see that it's not her natural hair color. Somebody dyed it for her. This raises some big questions for our agency. And it should be raising questions for the cops, too. If they ever find these tapes. Agent P, I need you to take this batch of evidence to the Police Station and clear your owner's name. Good luck, Agent P!"

He faxed over the video tape and the pictures over to Perry. The platypus took them and ran out in a hurry. He was determined to clear Candace's name if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at home, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were well under way in their day's project: A life-like version of the world famous "Gravi-tron" ride, seen in many well known amusement parks. They were strapped inside and were about to start the ride.

"All set?" Phineas asked his stepbrother & girlfriend. They both nodded. "Let's do this thing." He pressed a button to start up the ride, and within seconds, they were spinning around and around. Feeling the rush of throw up coming their way, all three kids screamed in delight. The thing only got faster, and the kids only screamed louder. At the end of the ride, all three kids felt sick to their stomachs, yet their minds were only filled with pure enjoyment. They all stepped out of the ride.

"Whoa, t-that was awesome..." Isabella said, holding back the urge to throw up.

"I feel like my stomach's been churned like butter." Phineas gulped his puke down. "Let's go inside and relax for a little while. Then we can come back out later and finish our ride." The three kids started for inside the house. They went inside to find Mr. and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher on the couch. Lawrence was watching TV, while Linda was still on the phone with the school, trying to get Candace in. "Hi Mom. Hey Dad."

"Hello boys, and hello Isabella. Say, I like that new ride you built outside." He said, referring to the Gravitron Phineas & Ferb built in the backyard. "Just don't override it or you'll throw up."

"Yes, Dad. Say, what's Mom doing on the phone?"

"See's been up for the past 3 hours trying to get through to Stoolbend High School to see if she can't get Candace back in for the upcoming school year."

"Oh yeah. That's right. Candace was expelled earlier this summer. I completely forgot about that. So, I take it that it's not going so well."

"These morons won't pick up because they know I'm going to give them a piece of my mind!"

"Easy, Linda. No sense in getting upset." Lawrence said to calm his wife down.

"You're right, Lawrence. I've got to maintain a cool head. I'm sure they'll come around." Linda responded with a loud yawn. "So, what are you kids planning to do for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know. That amusement park ride in our backyard was basically our whole project." Phineas thought, his mood suddenly deteriorated, both from boredom and fatigue, since he had been up since the wee hours of the morning. He rubbed his eyes as Isabella gave him a hug.

"You see what I mean when I say you shouldn't wake up so early?" Isabella insisted, using her "motherly instincts".

"Yes, Isabella, I see what you mean." He responded, in a slightly agitated tone, but then softened up and kissed her. He knew that even though he found it somewhat annoying that she was constantly on his tail about this kind of stuff, he knew that it was only because she loved him and she was looking out for his health. He held her in his warm embrace as she slowly returned the affection. "But it's still early in the day. What are we supposed to do?"

"You wanna do something else? But Phineas, you're exhausted. This is why I don't want you waking up so early during summer!"

"I'm not exhausted!" Phineas yawned again, this time even louder. Ferb patted his shoulder.

"Yes you are." Ferb responded to the tired boy.

"You have bags under your eyes. This is exactly what I was talking about when I voiced my concerns for you. Jeez, you are so stubborn." She leaned in and kissed him. "We have the rest of the day to do another activity later. Right now, my hubby could use a little shut eye."

"Come on, Isabella. Stop doting me like I'm your son. I don't need sleep."

"Yes you do, and you know I'm only doing this because I love you so much." The three kids went upstairs to leave Lawrence & Linda alone.

* * *

Back at the police station, Detectives Povenmire and Marsh were still sorting through their evidence in an effort to figure out who was the criminal behind the assault at the Danville Café, when they got a call. "Talk to me?" It was the Danville Café's manager on the other line. "We're on our way." Detective Marsh hung up.

"Who was that?"

"The manager of the Café. He says he has important information for us. This can't be good." The two Detectives stood up and headed for the Café.

* * *

**_Danville Café, 9:17 A.M._**

Detectives Marsh and Povenmire entered the café to find the store manager standing there.

"You called?" Detective Marsh asked him.

"Glad you could make it in such a hurry."

"What's this about?"

"I would've called sooner, but I was out of the store. See, about 10 minutes after you two left, another FBI Agent came into the store, claiming that he was investigating the exact same crime that you were."

"He did, now?"

"Yessir. He asked me to fork over my security tapes or he'd hold me in contempt of the law."

"We didn't know you had security cameras."

"Oh, yeah. Dozens of them. See?" He pointed up to the ceiling. There was dozens of little specks sticking out of the ceiling. They were no bigger than 2 inches in diameter, yet the picture quality they produced was quite amazing. "A couple of years ago, before I came here, I had a little burglary to deal with. All of my security cameras were stolen, as well as all the money in my register. So, I decided that the only way to stop it from happening was to camouflage my cameras to match the ceiling."

"Camouflage?"

"Yep."

"Well, you're either a genius or the dumbest person I've ever met." Detective Povenmire replied sarcastically.

"Maybe I'm both. You don't know me." The man replied back, also sarcastically. (**A reference to "George Lopez"**)

"So, do you have the security tapes for us?"

"No, man. I already told you. This other guy came in and took them from me. Here, I'll get you his information." The manager went back to his desk and pulled out some papers, consisting of information pertaining to the man (Monogram) who had visited him earlier. The two detectives ran through the information quickly.

"Thanks." Then they turned to leave the café. "I figured this would be too easy. It's never easy." Detective Marsh said to his partner.

"And you thought this time would be different because...?"

* * *

_**O.W.C.A. Headquarters, 9:48 A.M.**_

Meanwhile, down under ground, Major Monogram was busy keeping an eye on the case from the safety of the headquarters. And unfortunately, he had just witnessed the two detectives figuring out that he was the one who had gone into the Danville Café to get the security tapes.

"Uh oh." He said to himself. "It looks like I'm in a heap of trouble."

"Who says "heap" anymore?" Carl inquired.

"You know what I mean, Carl! I tried to get those security tapes away from the cops so they wouldn't frame that girl who's related to Agent P's owners. But now, it appears that I've been exposed. Those detectives are going to be looking for me with a lot of questions."

"Well, sir, why did you do it?"

"You saw those videos, Carl. There's no way that red-haired girl could've done it. Somebody is trying to frame her, and if it leads back to Agent P, the O.W.C.A. will be ruined! I cannot allow that to happen." Suddenly, Monogram heard a knock at the door. "Oh no! It's the coppers! I gotta hide!" Monogram ducked under his desk in fear. Carl, not seeming intimidated, went and answered the door. And sure enough, Detectives Povenmire and Marsh were there, with some questions needing to be answered.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" Carl asked politely.

"Yeah, we're with the Danville Detective Agency." Povenmire replied sternly. "We're here to talk to a "Mr. Francis Monogram". We have some questions we need to ask him."

Carl was about to respond to them when he heard a whimper coming from inside. He glanced back quickly and saw Major Monogram signal at him, telling him not to give him away. He turned back to the detectives. "I'm sorry, detectives. But he's not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. Uh...BEEP."

"Nice try, intern. But we know this trick. Hide under the desk so the cops'll be fooled, thinking that you're not home. We know he's in there, somewhere. We just want to ask him a few questions. Now, may we please come in?"

Seeing no way to hide Monogram from the detectives anymore, Carl sighed and allowed them to enter the building. "He's right in here."

"Carl, what are you doing!" Monogram shouted from under the desk.

"Sir, we have some questions for you!" Detective Povenmire shouted. "Just come out and we can settle this calmly." Monogram obeyed and slowly got out of the desk, and approached them. "We're investigating an assault case, and you may be of some help to us."

"Uh, I-I don't see how."

"Well, we were just at the Danville Café, and the manager there told us that you stopped by a little while after we left and impersonated an FBI agent, asking him for his security tapes...tapes that could lead us to the arrest of our prime suspect."

_Impersonating? Don't they know what I do? _Monogram thought to himself before responding verbally to them. "Well, officers, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm afraid I can't help you. I was not in the Café this morning."

"Yeah? What if we find the tapes and they say different?"

"You won't find them here, because I wasn't there."

"You're lying. I can tell because you won't look us in the eye." Detective Marsh retorted, noting how Monogram kept looking away from them.

"No! No, I'm not lying!" He was faking his confidence. "I just have a twitch in my eye."

"Sure you do." The Detective sarcastically retorted.

"You calling me a liar?"

"Uh, yes. That's exactly what I'm calling you. Now, will you please turn over those tapes before we turn this place upside down?"

"You can't do that. Not without a warrant, and I don't think you have one."

"Not now. But we will soon enough, and we'll get our hands on those tapes if it's the last thing we do." Marsh said coldly as he and his partner left the building to get a search warrant.

* * *

They headed over to Danville's District Attorny Office to discuss the current case with the District Attorney, Jack McCoy, as well as state prosecutors Michael Cutter and Connie Rubirosa.

"He's lying. I just know it. He wouldn't even look me in the eye." Detective Povenmire explained to them. "He's hiding something."

"And you think a judge will grant you a search warrant based sourly on suspicion?" Jack McCoy asked them.

"Well, considering the suspicious behavior of this alleged "FBI Agent", and the fact that he wouldn't give us what we asked for peacefully, I'd say we stand a pretty good chance."

"Is this guy even a real FBI Agent?" Rubirosa asked.

"I tried to ask, but he wouldn't even give me a straight answer."

"Luckily for us, the guy that owns the Café where the assault took place gave me the information that he apparently received from that guy." Detective Marsh said, taking out some papers and handing them to the three prosecutors. They looked it over swiftly.

"This guy's obviously trying to hide something." McCoy commented.

"I disagree. The owner seemed very cooperative-"

"I meant the other guy!"

"Oh, uh, right. Very uncooperative."

"I think you have sufficient evidence for a search warrant."

"But what about the girl?" Michael Cutter jumped in. "She's still our main suspect, is she not?"

"She is, and those security tapes may be the key to convicting her."

"I think you have enough for a search warrant." McCoy told them. "But you better be right about this. This girl has a reputation behind her, and if we're wrong, we're screwed."

"The evidence is all there. All we need to do is get it from that "FBI Agent", if he even _is_ one."

* * *

Meanwhile, back on Maple Drive, Candace was over at Stacy's house, and the two were discussing any possibilities over who could be framing her for this heinous crime.

"Maybe it's Jeremy." Stacy implied. "Ever since you angrily dumped him over a week ago, he's been mad as heck at you. He doesn't hesitate to insult you and degrade you."

"I know. He's so immature about this. Meanwhile I haven't said one mean thing to him. But I don't think he'd stoop _this_ far."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Maybe it's Suzy, his demented little sister."

"Nah, I don't think so. Ever since I came back, she's been leaving me alone. I guess she only hated me because I was dating him. But now that we're broken up, she has no reason to attack me. But then, who else could it be? Who else hates me that much?"

"Uh, nobody. Everybody else pretty much likes you."

"Well, then I guess it's safe to say who my framer is."

"Now hold on, Candace. Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding. I mean, there could be some people who look a lot like you and it could've just been a case of mistaken identity."

"Please, Stacy. Who in Danville has a neck as long as mine?"

"Hmm, you've got a point. Well, I don't know what to tell you. Are you sure that there's nobody else who would have some animosity towards you."

"Nobody that I can think of. Maybe...Maybe this really is just a misunderstanding. Yeah, I'm sure the cops will figure this all out and then we'll let this horrible incident pass us by."

* * *

Back at the O.W.C.A. headquarters, Monogram and Carl were busy watching TV when their doorbell rang. "Carl, go see who it is. If it's those detectives again, don't let them in." Carl stood up and walked over to the front door. And sure enough, Detectives Povenmire and Marsh were standing there, looking rather smugly at them.

"Sorry, boys. Can't help you." Carl said quickly, trying to shut the door. But Detective Marsh stopped the door with his foot.

"Nice try, bub." He shouted, holding up the search warrant. "Now let us in, Kitty!" He arrogantly said as he and his partner practically ran Carl over to get inside.

"It-It's Carl!"

"That's what I said, snot-rag!"

The detectives stormed into the room and started searching for the security tapes that Major Monogram had taken from the Cafe. "Hey, hey! I thought we told you clowns to stay out of here!"

"It's called a warrant, buster. It's a search warrant, and it gives us the right to search this place for those tapes."

"Well, you're not going to find anything. You're wasting your time!"

"We'll see..."

Thanks to the contents of the search warrant, the detectives were given full access to Monogram's headquarters room and Monogram nor Carl were able to interfere in any way. Otherwise, they would be subject to disciplinary action, which could include an arrest. The detectives searched high and low for the videotapes until finally, they had narrowed the search down to just one drawer. It was Monogram's most confidential drawer, where he kept things that he felt were not fit for the public's eye.

"Well, this is the last drawer." Detective Povenmire said to his partner. "But it's locked. And it looks like the only way to get in is if you have the key." He turned to Monogram. "Hey, do you have the key to this thing?"

"Go suck a lemon." He said coldly.

"Hey, we have a search warrant, and if you withhold anything from us, we can arrest you for obstruction of justice."

"I'm not afraid of you! Besides, you're wrong about that girl you're after. She didn't do it, but are _you_ going to prove it? No sir, because you guys don't care about the truth. You only are about your precious money and your big, fancy houses."

"Sir, I am not going to ask you again. Do you have the key?"

"Here it is!" Carl shouted, running over to them and handing them the key to the drawer. "He entrusts me with it because he's always losing it."

"Carl!"

"Well, that settles that." Detective Marsh put the key in the hole and turned it, opening the drawer. And sure enough, inside were the alleged video tapes that Monogram had snatched from the café. "Aha. Just as I suspected." He turned to Monogram. "And what do you make of these?"

"Um...those are my soap opera tapes. I tape "As the World Turns" everyday."

"Uh-huh..." The detectives weren't convinced. "I don't think VCR tapes are supposed to be this small." He held up a small tape, a tape normally used in a camera seen in a store. "You've been holding out on me."

"You can't prove that those are mine."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I _can_ arrest you for obstruction of justice." Detective Povenmire walked over to Monogram, took out his handcuffs, and cuffed his hands behind his back. "Francis Monogram, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice during an ongoing investigation. You have the right to remain silent."

"Wait, wait, I gotta back up for a second, there. _Francis_? Your name is Francis?"

"It's the masculine spelling, OK?"

* * *

**_2308 Maple Drive, 11:05 A.M._**

Later, after the detectives had finished arresting Monogram and had taken him to the police station to hold him, they felt that they had enough evidence to arrest Candace Flynn for the assault crime she was accused of, the detectives traveled back to Maple Drive to make the arrest.

Inside the Flynn-Fletcher home, Linda had given up on trying to get through to the school for the time being, and was taking a nap on the couch. Lawrence was in the kitchen washing dishes, and the kids were relaxing upstairs in Phineas & Ferb's room. There was a sudden strong knock at the door. Lawrence put down the dishes and the rag and went to answer it.

"Coming, coming." He said cheerfully, making his way to the door. He opened it to find the two detectives at the door. "Oh, hello detectives. What can I do for you?"

"Where's your daughter?" Detective Marsh asked promptly.

"Uh, she's not here. She's at her friend, Stacy's house."

"Can you give us the address?"

"Of course. But why?"

"We just want to have a talk with her."

"Well, alright then." Lawrence took out a paper and pencil and wrote down Stacy's address, and gave it to the detectives.

"Thanks." He said as the two made their way back to their car, taking off for the Hirano residence. It was at this precise moment that Linda awakened from her nap on the couch.

"Lawrence, dear, who was at the door?" She asked, groggily.

"It was those two nice detectives, looking for Candace." He replied happily, completely missing the fact that the detectives had a full intention of arresting her. Linda's eyes opened widely; she had a pretty good feeling of what was about to happen.

So, in a hurry, she rushed upstairs and grabbed the kids, piled them into the car, and she, Lawrence, & the kids all headed off the Hirano home to stop the detectives from arresting Candace.

At the same time, the detectives had just arrived at the home, and were let in by Mrs. Hirano. They went upstairs to Stacy's room to find her and Candace talking.

"Candace Gertrude Flynn." Detective Povenmire said strongly, approaching her with handcuffs. "Youu are under arrest for assault in the second degree & battery in the second degree."

"Candace, what's going on?" Stacy asked, puzzled.

"I-I don't know! I didn't do anything!" Candace retorted as she struggled to fight the detectives. "Get your hands off of me!" They led her out of the room and out of the house, reading her her rights. Before they could finish, Linda & the rest of the family arrived at the scene. They all rushed out to see what was happening.

"Detective, why are you arresting my daughter? She didn't do anything!" Linda shouted at him.

"Whoa, Candace. What did you do?" Phineas asked, also puzzled at this revelation. He wasn't sure whether to envy her or look down on her. He certainly didn't want to look down on her, though.

"Nothing! I'm innocent! These guys have nothing on me."

"That's where you're wrong. We have photographic evidence of you committing the crime in question. And it should be no trouble prosecuting you for it. Let's go!" He shoved Candace into their cop car, and he along with his partner got in, and drove off to the police station.

"Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, what's going to happen to Candace?" Isabella asked.

"I don't know, Isabella. W-What should we do?"

"Don't worry, love. We'll get her out of there." Lawrence assured her. "This case won't hold."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Stacy, who had come out of the house to see the commotion. "I heard on the news a few minutes ago that another person was arrested in relations to this case."

"Really?" Phineas inquired.

"Yep. They didn't give out the name, but they said that according to the police department, this guy they arrested was apparently hiding evidence that would've helped with "putting Candace away"."

"So...whoever they arrested was trying to help us. Somebody's trying to help Candace."

"And somebody's trying to frame her." Ferb added. On that thought, everybody stood there and pondered on the situation, having just witnessed Candace's arrest, just when she was on the path to a fresh start. Meanwhile, somewhere away from the house, Perry was deep into his mission. Spying from afar on the family, he, too, had just witnessed the arrest of Candace Flynn, and now, more than ever, he was in a dire situation, and it was urgent for him to gather the evidence needed to clear her name. He, and his boss, knew that Candace was innocent, but Monogram was unable to prove it now, and there were very few people outside of the family that would take Perry seriously. So now, one question still remains:

Whodunit?

**To be continued...**

**End of Episode 38!**

**Sorry for the late update. It was NOT easy writing this episode, and I imagine it won't be easy writing the next one either. That, combined with my doggy, Snowflake, suffering a leg injury, made it much harder to concentrate. But, it's done at last, and I hope you like it.**

**Next Time: Judgement Day. Candace is put on trial for a crime she claims she didn't commit. So if she's telling the truth, then who is trying to frame her. Plus, with Monogram also in custody, will the existance of the O.W.C.A. be revealed to all?**

**Coming up: A hot new trading card game hits the Tri-State Area, and Phineas and Ferb get instantly hooked. But when they decide to try and bring the game to life, disaster strikes.**

**Expected Update: Don't expect another update until _after_ Thanksgiving weekend. In fact, I most likely won't have it done before the end of November, so I'm betting on December 6th (which, in case you didn't know, would be the 1-year anniversary of the premiere of "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!"**


	48. 39: Judgement Day

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 39: Judgement Day (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: Candace is put on trial, accused of assaulting a random man she had never even met. If she's as innocent as she claims, then how will she be able to prove it with practically the entire law enforcement agency against her? Plus, will Major Monogram, in an effort to help clear Candace's name, expose the O.W.C.A.? Who's really responsible for the attacks? The answer will surprise you.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! The _Law & Order_ franchise does not belong to me either. That belongs to _Dick Wolf_, and what a fabulous job he has done.**

* * *

___**"In a world where the task of receiving a quality education and acquiring a well-paid and well-enjoyed employement is next to impossible, the children of today are challenged to unleash a quality that opens up a realm of options leading to different kinds of opportunities, a quality known as "Imagination". In the world of adolescence, the term 'imagination' is defined on a daily basis by two young stepbrothers bent on making each day better than the last: one who leads the day by voice, and the other who leads by action. These are their stories."**_

The Danville Courthouse was packed with people awaiting to hear the fate of Candace Flynn, who is accused of assaulting a random man in town. She was there for her bail hearing.

"Case #3092. The People of Danville v. Candace Flynn. Charges of Assault & Battery in the second degree." The bailiff told the judge, handing him the clipboard.

"How does the defendant plead?" Judge Rivera asked Candace.

"Not guilty, your honor."

"Requests for bail?" The judge turned to prosecutor Michael Cutter.

"The people are requesting remand, your honor."

"You're joking. You're requesting remand on an assault case?"

"Your honor, this girl has a history of "inappropriate behavior" and is labeled by many as "clinically crazy"."

"She has no prior criminal record and since her return from military training, she has shown extraordinary discipline and level-headedness." Candace's defense attorney retorted back. "Besides, the prosecution has no solid evidence to back these charges up. Only witnesses who claim to have seen her and a man who was apparently hiding something from these guys."

"This girl is a danger to society, your honor, and she should be held accountable."

"Mr. Cutter, I'm not looking for your personal opinion. I'm looking for facts. And the facts are that this girl, while she has a history of "out-of-the-ordinary" behavior, she has no criminal record. Therefore, I'm placing Candace Flynn under house arrest until her trial begins." The judge banged his gavel, and Candace was taken out of the courtroom to be returned home. Meanwhile, Monogram was now being brought in for his bail hearing.

"Case #3093. The Danville Police Department v. Francis Monogram. Charges of Obstruction of Justice." The bailiff told the judge, handing him another clipboard.

"And the defendant's plea?" The judge asked Monogram as he was being brought in.

"Not guilty."

"Your honor, the people are requesting $30,000 bail." Michael Cutter told the judge. "He intentionally withheld evidence from us in an attempt to sabotage my case."

"Your honor, my client claims that his actions were not geared towards sabotaging the case. They were geared towards clearing that Flynn girl's name." Monogram's defense attorney retorted. "His actions were made through the belief that the police department would not be able to expose the _truth_ with the evidence collected."

"The truth here is that the girl in question assault a random man out in public and has lied to us about it."

"That is up to the jury to decide, Mr. Cutter." The judge said to Cutter. "In the meantime, bail is set at $7,500." He banged his gavel, and Monogram was taken out of the room.

* * *

_[Law & Order Theme Song plays]_

* * *

After Candace's hearing, she, along with her family returned home to figure out what their next plan of action would be. "This is horrible!" Candace shouted. "None of those cops will listen to me! It's like last summer all over again."

"Hey!" Linda shouted, offended.

"You guys know I wouldn't do anything that crazy, right?"

"Yes, of course, Candace. _We_ know that." Lawrence assured her. "But there are still some people out there who...are kinda afraid of you, especially because they know how you feel - or rather how you used to feel about your brothers."

"But that's all in the past. Besides, quite frankly, I could care less what anybody except my friends say about me."

"Unfortunately, that won't matter if the jury doesn't believe you're innocent." Ferb told her.

"Ferb's right, Candace. If the jury finds you guilty of this, you could serve as much as 5 years in prison. You'll miss your junior & senior year. You'll miss your senior prom. You'll miss all of your friends. They'll all go off to lead successful lives while you're rotting in a jail cell, being ridiculed by Jeremy and all of the others that seem to hate you for no particular-"

"Phineas! I get it. But that's not going to happen. I am innocent of this, and I am determined to prove it no matter what!"

"But you said it yourself, Candace. Practically all law enforcements and Jeremy are against you. You're going to need one heck of a lawyer to get yourself out of...this..." Phineas thought hard and long for a moment before coming up with an idea. "Hey, wait a minute. That's it! Candace, when's your trial supposed to start?"

"Um, tomorrow at 8:00 in the morning. Why?"

"Because Ferb and I are going to personally see to it that you are exonerated of these charges." Phineas turned to his stepbrother. "Ferb, no matter what happens, we can't let Candace go to jail. She is innocent of this and if nobody else is going to offer to defend you, then we will. And I'm sure Isabella would be willing to help as well."

"Phineas, wouldn't it be easier to just hire a defense attorney? You know, a real one?" Linda inquired.

"And spend thousands of dollars on the possibility that the entire law enforcement department may be corrupt enough to actually send an innocent girl to prison?" Lawrence asked his wife.

"Oh yeah, good point."

* * *

**_Danville Detention Center, 2:43 P.M._**

Meanwhile, down at the Danville Detention Center, Monogram was entered into the room where prisoners usually talked with their family members who came to visit them. He was given the very last available phone booth, where he saw Perry waiting for him. They both sat down and picked up their phones.

"Agent P, this is worse than I imagined." Monogram told his employee. "The cops won't listen to a word I say and they won't allow me to introduce my own evidence to help clear that girl's name. It's like they're corrupted and against her for some reason. Can't imagine why. Anyway, Agent P, I _can_ prove that I was not corrupting the case, just trying to help it. But I need your help. You must return to O.W.C.A. headquarters, find my office, and bring Carl's laptop with you. It has everything that can help prove her innocent. You must hurry, Agent P. Her fate is in the balance."

They hung up their phones, and Perry ran off right back to O.W.C.A. headquarters to get the laptop. In the meantime, Monogram was taken back to his jail cell to await his trial.

Just as he was about to re-enter his jail cell, the warden approached him. "You have more visitors, Mono-brow."

"Oh, who now?" Monogram exclaimed angrily. Talking to Perry was hard enough for him considering his situation. He was forced, however, to change his attitude when he saw Detectives Povenmire and Marsh at the door. "Oh great..." He muttered to himself as he was led by them into a separate interrogation room. "I have nothing to say to you guys."

"Hey, don't be mad at us. We're just trying to find the truth, and you hiding those tapes from us doesn't exactly help your case."

"Now wait a minute! You're charging me with corruption of justice, which I did not commit!"

"Then why did you withhold those tapes from us?"

"Because _you_ wouldn't have dug deep enough into this case to find the truth. That girl in the video is _not_ Candace Flynn!"

"Yes it is. We have identifications from various witnesses that say it is her."

"Well, I have technological proof that it _isn't_! Now if you will allow me to show you what I mean, I have a friend of mine coming over to bring in some evidence on my laptop at my home that can prove to you that she is not only innocent, but she is not the crazy person everyone thinks she is."

"Well, for her sake, we hope so. It would be a shame if an innocent person was convicted and sent to jail. So, when will this person be here?"

* * *

**_Danville Courthouse, 8:12 A.M. (_This is the following day)**

"Where were you yesterday morning, 5:30 A.M.?"

The day of the trial had begun. Everybody, including the Flynn-Fletcher family, Candace's friends (and Jeremy) as well as the prosecution & defendants all arrived at the courthouse bright and early to get a start on the trial. The prosecution was determined to put Candace away for beating up an innocent man, while the defense, run by Phineas and Ferb (with Phineas being the lawyer, since he did most of the talking), were determined to prove her innocence. Right now, the prosecution, led by Michael Cutter, was asking Candace Flynn questions concerning the attack.

"I was at home, sleeping in my bed." Candace told him flatly. "I've already explained this to your detectives."

"Well, it's my job to make sure you're not lying. Now, do you have a history of violence?"

"No, no I don't."

"Do you have a history of anger issues? You know, getting upset pretty easily and having a hard time controlling your temper?"

"No."

"Huh." Michael smirked and walked back to the prosecution table, pulling out a folder and handing it to him. "That's funny, because according to these reports, over the past few years, you _have_ had a history of losing your temper, primarily when it concerned your brothers, Phineas Flynn & Ferb Fletcher. Is that correct?"

"Yeah, but-"

"So then you admit to us and to the jury that you have anger issues."

"Yes."

Michael paced around the room for a moment, while Candace awaited his next question. "So tell me, Ms. Flynn, would you consider yourself a tattletale?"

"Objection!" Phineas yelled from the defendant's table. "Irrelevant."

"Allow me to rephrase." Cutter said quickly. "Ms. Flynn, how long have you had these "anger issues" of yours?"

"Um, a few years."

"Would you care to explain how these anger issues of yours stemmed from?"

Candace looked over at Phineas at the defendant's table. He gave her a nod, assuring her that it would be OK. She took a deep breath and proceeded to tell her story. "It started many years ago, when my mom got married to my stepdad, and Ferb was introduced into our family. He and my other brother, Phineas, started bonding really quickly. Then they both discovered a love for building things and a love for summer vacation. Then they started making these really cool inventions at such a young age, like a self-powering oven that doesn't even need a plug, or-or a device that can animate inanimate objects.

"Then one day, they excited me so much with one of their inventions that I decided to run off and tell my mom about it. But instead of following me to the object, she sat there, laughed in my face, and told me that I have such an overactive imagination. Ever since there, and up until about a couple of weeks ago, I've had only one thing on my mind: proving my mom wrong and showing her that every single thing that Phineas & Ferb do is the real deal."

"So you believed that your constant struggle to gain your mother's respect and admiration through these actions is what led you to acquire such anger issues."

"Yes."

"Perhaps enough to cause you to..."

"I know where you're going with this. No, I am not a violent person, and no, I would not go out of my way just to beat somebody up. I'm obsessive, not violent."

"Just obsessive?" Cutter walked back to the prosecution table and brought over a TV and VCR set, with several tapes that depicted some of Candace's "best" moments. "Your honor, if it pleases the court, I would like to present the jury with a montage of Ms. Flynn's "finest" moments, which depict her so called "anger issues." Cutter inserted a tape into the VCR. The screen popped up a scene of the previous summer where Phineas, Ferb, and Candace were planning their Aunt Tiana & Uncle Bob's wedding. (**A/N: I don't remember the lines exactly and I'm too lazy to watch the episode to get it)** In the clips, Candace constantly yelled at Phineas & Ferb and rejected their plans to make the wedding exciting. Candace couldn't bear to watch the videos, but Michael Cutter made sure she did. Phineas, at the defendant's table, wiped away a tear, watching the clips.

In the next set of clips, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella had just finished building a hut for survival after getting stuck on an island. (**Swiss Family Phineas**) Candace screamed at them for no reason, and set out to tattle to their mom about it, even though they had done exactly what she and their dad had asked.

In the final set of clips, Candace came running up to Phineas & Ferb, and with an insane, angry-like expression on her face, and her fingers twitching, she gave in and started screeching like a wild animal, and then blasted off past them. **(This was the "Busting-Obsessed Candace from _Split Personality_)**

Cutter turned the TV off and took the tape out. There were soft murmurs in the audience and in the jury. Candace sunk into her seat, ashamed at her behavior, especially during the wedding & their period of estrangement on the island in the previous year. "I repeat "Just obsessive"?" Cutter interrupted her thoughts. "Based on the clips you just saw, how would you characterize yourself?"

"Um, I-I guess..." She was hesitant to answer. Her behavior in the clips were nowhere near how she acted now, but she knew if she answered like that, she'd get a backlashing from the prosecution. "I guess completely insane and possibly psychotic."

"And you still defend that your actions were based sourly on a desire for respect and not for mere resentment?"

"No."

"Thank you. Nothing further." Cutter returned to the prosecution table, as Phineas stood up and walked over to the stand. He eyed Candace daringly down, so he wouldn't look like he was playing favorites.

"Ms. Flynn, you claim that your anger issues stem from your need to gain your mother's admiration and respect. Correct?"

"Yes?"

"But Ms. Flynn, isn't it true that on several occasions, specifically on a August 12th of last year, your actions on that date were based not on admiration or respect, but for sheer enjoyment."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"On the day in question, you, Candace Gertrude Flynn, in an anger and rage, confiscated a toolbox belonging to a Phineas Flynn and a Ferb Fletcher. Now, is it true that your intentions are centered around what those two boys do during their summer days?"

"Y-Yes."

"And isn't it true that said boys had not done a single act to make you upset or vengeful in any way prior to the confiscation of said toolbox?"

"Y-Yeah, that's true?"

"Then tell me, Ms. Flynn, what on Earth was your motivation? If any, at all? Or, were you just simply crazy in the head? Were you so caught up in your obsession with trying to get your brothers into trouble that you not only missed sight of their objective, but you acted in a dishonorable manner as well?" The questions Phineas was pinning on Candace were confusing, mainly because it appeared that Phineas wasn't trying to defend Candace at all. "No further questions." He walked back to the defendant's table, to a very confused family.

"Phineas, what was that all about?" Isabella asked. "You just totally called your sister out."

"If I can get the jury to believe an insanity plea, Candace may not have to go to jail after all." Phineas explained to Isabella.

"And how exactly does this _help_ her?" Ferb asked his stepbrother.

"Oh, easy. See...oh, wait a minute. I-I'm not sure. Aw, man! I just called out my own sister! Now what do I do?"

* * *

**_Danville Courthouse, 8:55 A.M._**

"You say you saw Candace Flynn in plain view at the cafe?"

"Yes, I-I did."

The prosecution's next witness was the very victim that Candace was accused of attacking. Battered and beaten, he was still willing to take the stand and testify against her.

"Now can you describe for the jury what exactly she did?"

"Well, she entered the cafe, hunched over, and scanning the room angrily. You could see in her eyes that she was out for blood. She stormed up to me while I was talking to my buddy. She didn't say anything, but she did growl and then, she grabbed my collar and started beating the crud out of me. I tried to talk some sense into her, but she just kept hitting me. Her hair was standing on ends, and I could see the veins crawl up that neck of hers. She was angry and remorseless."

"What did she do after that?"

"She smirked at me, laughed, and left the store."

"Thank you." Michael Cutter returned to his table. Phineas, seeing that the witness may have made a grave error, stood up and approached the witness.

"Mr. Macintosh, just out of curiosity, did you happen to notice any injuries on your attacker?"

"Injuries? What? No. She was perfectly healthy. I didn't see no cuts or bruises or anything like that or nothing."

"Really? That's interesting, because my client, Candace Gertrude Flynn..." He slowly approached his client, who stood up from her seat. "Just so happens to have scratch marks on her left arm...right here!" He lifted her left arm and revealed the scratch marks that Candace had acquired (from the night before after being attacked by Ezekiel). Everyone in the courtroom, including Cutter and Macintosh, gasped in shock.

"Objection!" Cutter yelled. "Ms. Flynn's injuries have absolutely nothing to do with this trial."

"On the contrary, Mr. Cutter, they have more to do with this than you may believe. If Mr. Macintosh claims to have seen my client at the Danville Cafe at the time of the attack, then he would've noticed the scratch marks on her wrist, because two days ago, Candace Flynn was the victim of an attack herself, an attack from a wild animal."

"Your honor, this is absurd. If she was injured, then why did she not tell the detectives about it."

"You said it yourself, Mr. Cutter." The judge replied rather sarcastically. "The injuries have _nothing_ to do with this trial."

"Don't get smart with me, judge." Cutter was becoming angry with the judge and the entire trial. "It's my job to prosecute this girl for assault that innocent man on the stand, and I won't let your smart mouth get in the way!"

"You better watch _your_ mouth, Mr. Cutter, or I will hold you in contempt!" The judge threatened. He had dealt with Michael Cutter before, and was not about to let his temper obstruct the trial's process. "Now, Mr. Flynn, you may continued."

"Actually, I'm through, your honor. I have everything I need from this witness." Phineas said, him and Cutter exchanging some looks at each other as Phineas returned to his seat. Cutter sighed and turned to the judge.

"Your honor, the prosecution requests a recess."

"I think we could all use a break. Trial resumes in 30 minutes." The judge banged his gavel and proceeded to leave the courthouse.

* * *

For his half hour of recess, Cutter and Rubirosa returned to the District Attorney's Office to discuss the case with District Attorney Jack McCoy as well as Detectives Marsh and Povenmire.

"How could you not notice the cut marks on her wrist!" And Cutter was quick to call out the detectives for their "poor detective work". "I was completely defenseless on that."

"Well excuse me for only focusing on the _facts_, Cutter." Detective Marsh replied bitterly. He was not in the mood to be called out by anybody at the moment.

"The facts are that Ms. Candace Flynn was attacked by some bizarre animal the day before she was arrested, and you two failed to notice the marks. I even saw the photos of her injuries, and even had I not, I could've seen them from a mile away!" Jack McCoy shouted, angry at the two detectives. The injuries, as small as they were, had turned out to be one of the big parts of the trial, and could be the very thing that sets Candace free. "It just may be that this girl is innocent after all."

"No!" Detective Marsh shouted, getting up in McCoy's face. "That crazy animal's guilty and we're going to do whatever it takes to prove it."

"_We_?" Detective Povenmire questioned.

"Yeah. We're partners. If we go down, I ain't going down alone, bucko! Come on." He grabbed his partner's collar and dragged him out of the officer, not willing to give up alone. The thing was, Detective Marsh wasn't exactly a friendly cop. He was rather arrogant, remoreseless, and he didn't care what it took. If there was somebody that he didn't really like, in this case, Candace, he would make sure he found a way to prosecute them. Compared to his partner, he was more of the "bad cop". Detective Povenmire was more of the "good cop"; he listened to the facts and if there was somebody innocent who was rotting in jail, he would stop at nothing to set them free.

* * *

**_Danville Detention Center, 9:10 A.M._**

Detectives Marsh and Povenmire returned to the Danville Prison to visit Monogram. Perry had returned and brought him Carl's laptop, which had all of the evidence Monogram claimed it would take to clear Candace's name.

"Gentlemen, I have here in this laptop the evidence it will take to clear Candace Flynn's name."

"You better. I got stuff to do." Marsh groaned, his true colors were starting to come out.

"Just look." He turned the screen to them. "Notice on the left side in a zoomed-in picture of "Candace" in the cafe." THe picture on the left side was a close up of "Candace". Up close, it was easy to tell that it was not actually Candace in the video. The neck was a bit too short, her arms were too skinny compared to the real Candace's, and she was slightly skinny & shorter than the real Candace. Plus, if one looked real closely, they could tell that her skin was blotchy, as if she was wearing make-up, as if it was not her natural skin color. The picture on the right was a picture of the real Candace Flynn. There were noticeable differences between the two pictures, and even the dumbest of people could notice them. Povenmire was quick to notice. Marsh, however, did not notice right away. In fact, you could even say he was in denial. "See what I mean?"

"Huh. I see your point, Mono-brow." Povenmire said calmly, studying the pictures carefully. Detective Marsh, however, didn't even as much as glance at the laptop. "There are noticeable difference between the two pictures. I wonder how we didn't notice this before."

"If you ask me, it's all a bunch of hooey." Marsh bitterly replied, still not glancing at the laptop.

"You're not even looking at the pictures." Monogram pointed out. "If you clearly look at the-"

"You know what? I'm wasting my time here." He stood up and attempted to leave, but he was pulled back into the room by his partner. "Let go of me."

"What's your problem, man? He's got a point. If you look closely, her skin is blotchy and it looks like she's wearing makeup. Plus, her neck is a little too short to be Candace Flynn."

"Oh please. I can't believe you're buying into that garbage!"

"That "garbage" is the truth, Rick! We're detectives, and it's our job to find the truth-"

"The truth is that this girl is guilty and I don't care what either of you bozos mean. So, Wayne... (Detective Povenmire's first name), if we're done here, I'd like to get back to the courthouse. The trial's recess is about to end." And with that, Detective Marsh trudged for the door. Povenmire stayed behind a moment.

"I apologize on behalf of my partner."

"No worries. I've dealt with worse. You're welcome to borrow my laptop if you're planning to use it."

"Oh, I'm planning to use it alright..."

* * *

Detective Marsh decided to return to the courthouse as the trial was returning. Detective Povenmire decided to head solo back to the District Attorney's office, and converse with them the new evidence that had been introduced by Monogram. He showed McCoy and Rubirosa the laptop, and the two comparison pictures of Candace.

"The neck on the girl in the left photo is far too short to be that of our suspect." Rubirosa pointed out, noticing the vast difference in neck lengths. "Plus, there are blotchy spots on her skin. She's obviously wearing makeup."

"That's still not even credible evidence to acquit her. And besides, we're trying to prosecute her, not defend her." McCoy pointed out. "Why'd you bring this to us?"

"Because I think we have the wrong girl." Povenmire explained. "You said it yourself. The neck's way too short to be hers."

"That's not exactly proof that she's being framed."

"No, but a jury would believe so and acquit her in a second."

"He's right." Rubirosa said.

"Then what are we supposed to do? It's not like an answer is going to ring us up on the phone." But just as if on cue, McCoy's phone rang. "McCoy. Uh-huh. OK, we'll be there." He hung up the phone and turned to the others.

"Who was that?"

"Some whiny kid who "claims" he has information regarding this case. He's asking you and your partner to meet him in the interrogation rooms in 10 minutes. By the way, where'd Rick go?"

"I think he went back to the courthouse. He was really steamed while we were being shown this evidence. He wouldn't even look at it. He brushed it off like it didn't even exist."

"Well, he _is_ over 60 years old. This job might be finally getting to him." Rubirosa suggested.

"_I'm_ 70, and I apparently have a better control over my temper than him." McCoy pointed out. "Go to the interrogation room and get this "information". I'll head over to the courthouse to find your partner."

* * *

**_Danville Courthouse, 9:36 A.M._**

The court was back in session, and now Michael Cutter was busy questioning Linda Flynn, testing her credibility towards Candace.

"Mrs. Flynn, is it true that in the past, you and your daughter, a.k.a, the accused, have had a "rocky" relationship?"

"Um, I wouldn't exactly call it "rocky", but..."

"Oh, no? Because according to these reports which your family filed, you have a history of calling your daughter "crazy"-"

"Now look here, sir, I have never called my daughter crazy...in public."

"You're lying to us. In fact, last year alone, according to police, you used that word a total of 7 times around your daughter. It's obvious that you're lying. This wouldn't be the first time. Remember "Lindana"?"

"Objection!" Phineas yelled. "Your honor, Mrs. Flynn's past career as a pop star is totally irrelevant to this case."

"It is when I'm questioning her credibility." Cutter retorted. "If you'll recall, your honor, 20 years ago, when Mrs. Flynn here was retiring from pop music, she publicly came out with a statement. I have the statement right here." Cutter took out a paper and read from it. "My fans, it has been an honor to be a pop sensation for these past 6 months, and now that I'm leaving, I would just like to take this time to announce that it has been a privilege to sing my hit #1 song "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun", which I wrote myself and have been singing without the use of any lip syncing equipment."

"Your honor, what is the meaning of this?" Phineas questioned.

"My point is that her credibility is questionable since last year, after her reunion concert, she openly admitted that she had been lip syncing to the song the entire time. She openly lied to the public. For all we know, she could have a terrible singing voice that could potentially destroy anything and everything made of glass. So, I ask you, Mrs. Flynn, even though you say that you defend your daughter and she claims that she's innocent, why do you even believe her? In fact, why should _we _believe a single word you say!"

"Because I'm not lying, and my daughter is not lying!"

"Well, it certainly is a change to see you actually believing your daughter for once. Nothing further." Cutter smirked before returning to his table.

"Does the defense wish to question the witness?" The judge asked Phineas, who merely shook his head. Seeing that Cutter had already done some damage to not only Linda's credibility, but his own credibility as well, Phineas saw no need to question his mother. "Very well. Does the defense have any witnesses to call?" He asked Phineas, who was busy shifting through his papers. He looked up at the judge for a brief moment while figuring out his next move. Things were not looking so good for either side, and the last thing he wanted was a mistrial.

"Uh, yes your honor. Defense calls Jesse Wilson to the stand (**A.K.A. The guy who runs the Training Facility the detectives visited in the last episode**)." The man approached the stand and was sworn in. "Mr. Wilson, you run the Danville Gym downtown, correct?'

"Yes I do."

"Now, you told the detectives that my client went into your establishment at about 6:30 yesterday morning."

"Yeah. She came in, and she had looked like she had just gone for a 2-mile run. She had talked about wanting to get herself a membership at the gym, so I walked her through the steps of signing up a membership."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't your facility require the use of a social security number for anyone 16 years or older?"

"That's correct."

"But in the report you filed to the detectives, you claim that my client "could not remember her social security number." So, you, in an apparent good act of kindness, decided to help her find out for her."

"I looked into the computer and I looked up her information. I admit it, I'm too good a person. I know it was wrong to do."

"It was, especially considering that it wasn't my client whom you gave my information to, because my client was not the one at the cafe that fateful day. Thank you, that will be all." Phineas sat down and allowed the witness a moment to think about what he had actually done.

* * *

**_Danville Detention Facility; Interrogation Rooms, 9:43 A.M._**

Detective Povenmire entered one of the interrogation rooms. He was led in by the chief of police, and as he entered, he was met with a very pudgy, brown-skinned child with a red shirt, blue pants, and glasses (**Figure it out, yet?**)

"Thank you for coming, officer." The kid piped up to the detective.

"You the kid that called our office?"

"Yes I am." He was holding in his hand a tape recorder.

"Why'd you call me in here?'

"I here that you've been working on that Candace Flynn case."

"Yep. It's already gone to trial."

"Well, that's a shame. Because she's innocent."

"And how are you so sure?"

"Because I know the people who are guilty of this, and I have it all on this tape recorder."

"Oh yeah? Would you mind playing it?"

So the boy played the tape recorder for the detective, and after a few minutes of listening to what was on it, Detective Povenmire took the kid over to the courthouse where the Candace Flynn trial was taking place. At that moment, the prosecution was cross-examining the owner of the Danville gym.

"So even though she was playing you, deceiving you into thinking she wasn't crazy, you still allowed her to get a membership at your establishment without a social security number?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Nothing further." Cutter returned to his desk as Detective Povenmire and the boy entered the courtroom. Their entrance sparked some attention, especially after a feminish scream came from the room.

"Ahh! Cleveland Jr.!" Donna Tubbs, the mother of the boy yelled. "What are you doing with that man!"

"Sit down, you! I will have order!" The judge shouted, banging his gavel and shutting the woman up. "To what does the court owe this intrusion on our justice system, detective?"

"Permission to approach, your honor?" Detective Povenmire asked.

"Well-"

"NO! No! Do not give this man permission, your honor!"

"Mrs. Tubbs, sit down!" He banged his gavel again. "Another outburst like that and I'll have you removed from this court. Now, detective, counselors...chambers. Now!"

The judge called a recess for the trial while he, Phineas, Cutter, Detective Povenmire, and Cleveland Jr., as well as District Attorneys McCoy and Rubirosa, into his chambers. "Now, what's this all about, detective?" He asked as soon as they entered the chambers.

"Your honor, a few moments ago, this young boy introduced to me some evidence that I feel will truly change the course of this trial." He handed the judge the tape recorder. He pressed play, and everybody listened intensively to what was on it.

_"Did you hear, Cleveland. That Flynn girl is back from military school."_

_"You mean the crazy red head who tries to pass herself off as a girly girl but we all know she's a tomboy? That girl?"_

_"Yep. The one who yelled at your son."_

_"What the heck's she doing back?"_

_"I don't know. But apparently, everybody thinks she's changed and that she's no longer obsessive or loud or crazy or anything like that?"_

_"Hasn't it only been, like, 3 weeks? Who changes that quickly?"_

_"Nobody. I don't think she's changed at all. She's gotta go back to that military school. I don't care what anybody says. I tell you, to see that chick go back to where she came from would be a blessing in disguise."_

_"And how do you propose to do that?"_ At that moment, the tape cut off, and went to complete silence.

"The tape didn't cover everything, but that was my mom and dad on the line." Cleveland Jr. explained to them.

"And you think that this is enough to convince a jury that this girl is not guilty?" The judge asked.

"I'm not convinced." Phineas said. "It's just a tape recorder and the audio isn't exactly High-Def audio. The prosecution could argue that it's my mom and my sister collaborating to go on a crime spree or something."

"I'm not convince of that." Cutter argued. "Yes, this girl may seem a bit crazy, but in my personal opinion, she is not capable of being so heartless and so psychotic that she would do something like this."

"Unfortunately, Mr. Cutter, the justice system isn't just about personal opinion." The judge told him. "It's about the facts."

"And the facts are, your honor, that my client, Candace, is being framed!" Phineas shouted. "The prosecutor said it himself. She's not capable of something like this."

"So where do we go from here?" The detective asked.

"Well, it appears to me that we're going to need some collaboration from both sides in order to discover the truth." The judge replied.

"And how do you propose to do that? "McCoy asked him, this being the first time he had even been in a situation this unique.

"Well, I suggest that the prosecution question both Mr. and Mrs. Brown-Tubbs." Phineas explained, hatching him a plan. "If their son is right and that was really them talking on the tape, then one of them is bound to crack and spill the beans. Plus, maybe it'll help explain Detective Marsh's strange behavior involving this case."

"But we don't even know if they are guilty." Rubirosa cut into the conversation. "This is just a theory, and if we're wrong, and they figure out that we're cooperating like this, they are going to raise some questions."

"I'd rather be reprimanded for going outside the lines to find justice than prosecute and put away an innocent girl." McCoy sternly replied. "Alright, I say we do this."

"If anybody asks, this meeting never happened." The judge warned them all.

* * *

They all returned to the courthouse and took their seats as Detective Marsh slowly entered the house and took his seat next to Povenmire. "What's going on, man?" He calmly asked his partner.

"They're coming back from recess." He lied. "Things are getting pretty hot out here."

"Court is back in session!" The judge yelled, banging his gavel, with him, and the counselors, all dead set on a game plan. "Mr. Cutter, do you have another witness?"

"Yes. The prosecution wishes to call to the stand Mrs. Donna Tubbs.' He turned to face the woman, who was in the back row. The waiting for the trial to resume was boring to her, and she decided to take a nap. Her head was tilted back, her mouth was open, and she was snoring loudly, drooling onto the seat. Cleveland, who was sitting next to her, nudged her awake.

"Donna, they're calling you." He whispered into her ear. She snorted herself awake. In a state of panic, she looked around frantically to see what was going on.

"Huh! What? Who?"

"Donna, they've called you up."

"Oh. Oh, right. OK." She slowly stood up and walked to the witness stand, and was sworn in before Michael Cutter began the questioning.

"Mrs. Tubbs, you are the Executive Assistant at Stoolbend High School, the school that Candace Flynn was attending before she was expelled, correct?"

"That's right."

"Now why did you expel her?"

"Well, it wasn't just my decision. It was the department of education that ultimately decided her fate. And it was because of her constant obsession with her brothers. That, and the fact that she yelled at one of my kids for no good reason."

"Isn't it also true that you were the one who recommended her be sent to military school in the first place?"

"Uh, no. No, that was..."

"And isn't it also true that you weren't happy upon hearing that she had returned from military school?"

"Yeah! So!" She was becoming agitated. "That doesn't mean anything!"

"It does when we have proof given to us by your son on a tape recorder that you were in quirts with your husband, Cleveland Brown, to frame her for a crime and get sent back to military school!"

"What! NO!" She looked over at Phineas, who was attentively watching, but not planning to do anything about it. "Hey, bozo! Are you hearing this!" He didn't respond. Donna looked back at Cutter. "Well, I'm not saying anything else. I'm exercising my right to remain silent!"

"Yeah, that only works in interrogation rooms, smart-alec. I have nothing else. Get out of my sight." Cutter snarled at Donna, as she slowly made her way back to her seat.

"Does the defense wish for a cross-examination?" The judge asked.

"No, your honor." Phineas said confidently.

"Your honor, at this time, I would now like to call Mr. Cleveland Brown to the stand."

Cleveland's eyes went wide open as he slowly approached the witness table. "Y-Yes?"

"Mr. Brown-"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I CONFESS! IT WAS MY WIFE AND I! WE DID IT!" Cleveland screamed at the top of his lungs and started bawling like a baby. Everyone in the audience and in the jury started murmuring to each other, exchanging confused looks.

_That was easier than I thought_. Cutter thought to himself. "Um, I'm sorry?"

"I confess, It was our idea! My wife and I came up with it."

"May I ask why?"

"Well, let me start by saying that at first it wasn't meant to be targeted at her. It was supposed to be for that kid in the black shirt with the skull on it." (Buford) "After all, he was the one who intentionally destroyed my house with a wrecking ball, but that's a story for another time. Anyway, we were supposed to mess with him. But it was my wife, Donna, who came up with the idea to target it at Candace. See, a few nights ago, after she had returned, Donna and I were talking, and she wasn't happy to hear that she was back. She believed that with her back, her family would try to rally and get her put back into Stoolbend High School, and she wasn't about to let that happen."

"So, she devised a plan to get Candace framed for a crime she didn't commit. We needed a girl that looked enough like her and use her to frame her. Since we couldn't find anybody like that, we decided to use my daughter, Roberta. We put lots of make-up on her so her skin turned light, we bought a set of her clothes, and we dyed her hair orange and shaped it to match Candace's. It wasn't a perfect match, but it was good enough to fool all of you guys for this long. And all it cost me was an extra $40 in allowance money."

"So, you took your own daughter, dressed her up to look like Candace, frame her for assault & battery, and then have your own wife laugh out loud as she is sent back to military school?" Cutter broke the logic down so he and everybody else could understand.

"Well, when you say it like that, it makes me feel like I've just wasted the past few minutes which I'll never get back."

"Now, there's still one thing I'm not understanding. Detective Rick Marsh seemed to have difficult believing that Candace Flynn was innocent, and had a difficult time examining evidence that proved her innocent. So-"

"Oh, he's my wife's old high school teacher. I met him a few weeks ago, and when we came up with the plane, she thought it would be a good idea to get him on board, so after I explained what the plan was to him, he didn't waste any time on getting aboard."

"So he was behind you guys the entire time?"

"That's correct."

"He was going to corrupt the case and make sure that anything and everything that was found that would help prove her innocent was not used in trial?"

"Yes sir."

"Aha! I knew it!" Detective Wayne Povenmire shouted to his partner. "I knew you were going against us. You're a traitor!"

"Hey, excuse me for still wanting to help out my favorite student!" Detective Marsh shouted back.

"You were working against us this entire time!" McCoy shouted from the prosecution table.

"Hey, anything for my favorite student! She deserves only the best, and that crazy psycho being in her school was not going to help that!"

"You keep your seat!" The judge yelled.

"Hey, kiss my grits, whitey! Y-you know what? I quit! Yeah, that's right! I'm done being a cop! I quit! Peace out, suckas!" Marsh screamed, taking his detective badge and throwing it onto the ground, and storming out of the courthouse. Everyone, after a moment of silence, returned their attention to the trial.

"Well, that was weird." Phineas said to himself.

"Just when I think I've seen it all..." Cutter says to himself, returning to the table.

"OK...now, if there's nothing else, no closing statements...I will dismiss the jurors to the deliberation room to reach a verdict." The judge banged his gavel and the jurors were dismissed one by one and led into the deliberation room.

* * *

**_Danville Courthouse, 10:09 A.M._**

The jurors took no more than 10 minutes to reach a consensus. After the outburst by Cleveland and the little performance by Detective Rick Marsh, the jurors had no doubt in their minds of what to rule.

"Will the defendants please rise." The judge ordered. Candace, Phineas, as well as everyone at the prosecution table rose. "Has the jury reached a verdict?"

"Yes, we have, your honor." The foreman replied, taking out a piece of paper and reading out the verdict. "In the case of _The People vs. Candace Gertrude Flynn_, we, the jury, find the defendant...not guilty."

"Yes!" Phineas cheered quietly, as he and Candace hugged.

"So says the jury. We're adjured." The judged banged his gavel one final time before leaving the courthouse.

"Mom!" Candace ran up to her mom and dad and gave them both hugs.

"Oh, Candace. I knew you were innocent. I just knew it!" Linda shouted in pure delight.

"I knew it, too. And thank you, Phineas, Ferb, and everybody-" Candace said to all of her brothers' friends. "for sticking by me even though it looked like nobody else was going to. And-" She turned around quickly to face Donna, who was just about to leave with her family. "As for you, Miss Donna Tubb-o-lard! I will see you in civil court!"

"W-What!"

"What is she talking about..." Phineas asked his friends, referring to the phrase "Tub-o-lard".

"You have put me through all of this pain & suffering, and for what? Just to keep me out of school! You're crazy. I'll see you in civil court, and not only will I win, but you'll HAVE to put me back into your school!" As Candace was shouting at Donna, Linda's cellphone went off.

"I am not going to court with you."

"You won't have a choice, Miss Tubb-o-lard!"

"You won't have to, Candace." Linda said, getting off the phone. "That was the superintendent of the school. He's agreed to let you back in."

"What! Really? T-That's great! That's wonderful! That's..." She turned back to Donna. "I'm still going to see you in court, missy!"

"Fine!" She shouted back, as she and the rest of the family left the courtroom. As everybody else was about to leave, Phineas snapped his fingers, apparently having a realization.

"Oh, now I get it! "Tubb-o-lard!" Tubb, as in her last name, and lard, as in she's really fat! It makes perfect sense!" He shouted, so loudly apparently that the entire Brown-Tubbs family even heard him as they were leaving. Isabella cupped her eyebrows and then hugged him, giggling. "What? What'd I say?"

"It's a good thing you're cute, Phineas." Isabella said, giving him a victory kiss.

"And that you're smart as well." Ferb added as the entire family headed out the door towards their car. The mystery was solved, Candace was cleared, and she was back in school. Everything in the Flynn-Fletcher family was back to normal, and now everybody was ready to head home and continue enjoying summer the way it's supposed to be enjoyed: by building big things and destroying Cleveland's house.

**End of Episode 39!**

_**Special Thanks to Dick Wolf...**_

**Well, hope you liked it. What a twist, am I right? Boy, summer's really winding down for these guys (For those of you who are keeping track and are counting each episode as a separate day, that would make this episode August 2nd. Which means there is still about a month of summer left for Phineas & Ferb.**

**Next Time: A new card game hits the Tri-State Area. Nobody knows who created it or why, but it's sweeping the Tri-State, and fast. But when Phineas & Ferb decide to "bring the game to life", everyone will be running for the hills.**

**Expected Update: I will try to post the next episode before or around December 15th (That's my 17th birthday)**

**A/N: Remember: December 6th is the one-year anniversary of the premiere of "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!". The extended edition will be airing December 3rd on Disney Channel, with an extra song that was originally cut, and who knows, maybe some other scenes we've never seen before.**


	49. 40: Monster Royal

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 40: Monster Royal **

**Episode Summary: A new trading card game has hit the Tri-State Area. Nobody knows who created it, but it has become the newest sensation for all the kids all across the Tri-State. But when Phineas and Ferb's desire to"make the game more life-like", so to speak, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz's newest invention cross paths, it could spell the end of the Tri-State Area.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun was up and beating down on the citizens of Danville in a glorious new day. It was a hot one, but nobody was about to let the heat stop everyone from getting done what needed to be done or from enjoying the day, and that included the kids on Maple Drive.

Phineas & Ferb were already wide awake and having breakfast with their family. "So, boys, what big plans do you have for today?" Their father, Lawrence, asked them.

"We don't know, yet. We're running out of blueprints to use and coming up with a new blueprint is just going to take time out of our day." Phineas explained to them. "Hey, maybe our friends have some ideas on what to do. Let's go ask them after breakfast."

"And what about you, Candace?" Linda asked her daughter.

"Kurt's invited me to his house to hang out with him today."

"Kurt? Isn't he that new boy you said you like whom you met at a skateboard contest?"

"Yeah. Why? Is there a problem with that."

"No, not at all, Candace. In fact, I'm glad to see that you've moved on from Jeremy. I just hope you don't planning on getting into anything too quickly."

"Oh, come on, Mom. I'll be fine. I'm going to take it slow this time. I'm going to really get to know this guy first, then I'll flirt with him, and then, in a few years, we'll get married and have two children named Xavier and Amanda, then-"

"Candace..."

"Right, sorry. Take it slow. Got it."

"Well, Ferb and I are finished with our breakfast." Phineas interrupted as he and Ferb started cleaning their dirty dishes, to save their parents the trouble. "Once we're done cleaning our plates, we'll take Perry for a walk, and-" Phineas looked behind him to acknowledge his pet platypus, only to find an empty food bowl with no sign of the platypus anywhere. "Hey, where's he go?"

Meanwhile, Perry had disappeared down underground, through the tubes, and was now sitting in his lair, awaiting his mission.

"Good morning, Agent P." His boss spoke from the other side. "And what a good morning it is. The charges against me were dropped and I was let go late last night. I owe a big part of that to you, Agent P. I wouldn't have been able to convince those detectives - or at least, one of them, that I was innocent without you. And I can assure you that there will be a big bonus in this for you. And by "big bonus", I meant a 2-for-1 coupon for _Friendly's_." Perry's expression fell. "Anywho, down to business. Our sources tell us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is fixing up another -inator. Unfortunately, at the moment, we have no idea what it does. So that's why we want you to go find out and put a stop to it!"

Perry saluted Monogram and went on his way to defeat his nemesis.

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb decided to head to Isabella's house to see if she had any ideas for them to do for the day. To their surprise, every one of their friends including Isabella's Fireside Girls troop were all gathered in her backyard, each of them carrying a big stack of cards.

"Hey Isabella!" Phineas called to his girlfriend, who was chatting with Ginger and Adyson.

"Phineas!" She shouted, also happy to see Phineas. He ran up to her and gave her a big hug. "What'cha doin' here?"

"We came here to find you." Phineas explained. "Ferb and I are trying to think of stuff to do, and we were wondering if you and your Fireside Girls had any patches you needed to..." He took a good look around and it was only then that he noticed everybody holding the trading cards. "Hey, what's with the cards?"

"You didn't hear?" She held up her deck of cards and handed each a handful. "There's a new trading card game that's just been released. It's called "Monster Royal"."

"Ooh, sounds fun. Do tell."

"Well, each player gets to command a whole deck of cards, and each other either has a monster on it," She took out a card from the deck that had a picture of a monster on it "with special stats that dictate whether it's good for offense or defense, these green "Spell" cards that can change the way a battle plays out," She put her monster card back and took out a green spell card. "And these pinks ones. I think they're called "traps"." She took out a pink card. (**A/N: If you still haven't figured it out, this is a parody of "Yu-gi-oh" Well, sort of.)**

"Wow, that looks like fun."

"It sure is. But it's a lot harder than you think. There are a lot of rules that go along with it. It's not just about playing monsters in battle. Here, I have the rule book." She took out a small manual and gave it to the boys to read. Phineas opened it, and he & his stepbrother got right to reading. They were speed readers, so it took little time to read the whole thing. "Wow, that was fast." Isabella remarked upon the boys finishing.

"Thanks. We're reading at a 9th grade level." Phineas told her. "And you were right, Isabella. There are a lot of rules to this game. But I think Ferb and I are up for the challenge. Right, Ferb?" He turned to his stepbrother, who replied with an encouraging nod. "Right. Now all we need to do is find us some trading cards."

"I still have a couple of packs that I haven't opened yet. You can have those, if you want, though you're going to need a lot more cards than that in order to play. A player's dueling deck cannot have less than 40 cards in it, after all."

"You'd just give them to us, like that?"

"Well, sure. You guys are my best friends, after all."

"Wow. T-That's really sweet of you. But you keep them. Ferb and I have some money saved up in our piggy banks. We'll crack those babies open and get our own cards, and when we're done, we're coming back and we're going to give you a taste of a real monster royal."

"Is that a challenge?" Isabella smirked, crossing her arms, willing to accept the challenge.

"Yes, yes it is. Why? Are you scared?"

"Isabella Garcia-Shapiro is afraid of nothing! I'll see you later. Make sure you don't get any lame cards."

"I'd be more concerned for your sake." He joked as he kissed before darting off with Ferb downtown to find themselves their own cards.

* * *

Meanwhile, way down Maple Drive, several homes away from Phineas & Ferb, Candace was visiting his new "boyfriend-for-life" Kurt, whom she had developed a huge crush on. After her failed romance with her ex-boyfriend, Jeremy Johnson, she sank into a temporary depression until he met Kurt. She was certain that this relationship would work, but was determined to take it slow and let the relationship develop at its own pace.

He knocked on his door a couple of times and waited patiently for a response. After a couple of minutes of waiting, Kurt finally opened the front door and was delighted to see her at the door. "Hey, Candace. I didn't think you were coming today."

She giggled playfully. "Hi Kurt." She waved her fingers at him, instinctively. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped. Kurt gave a chuckled and brought her inside.

"Come on in." He led her into the living room. His house was much nicer than Candace was anticipating. The living room, for instance, had a huge 42" TV attached to the wall, with fancy couches and sofas surrounding the room. There were golden frames also attached to the walls, each consisting of a picture of Kurt and a member of his family. "Wow, you sure have such a big family." Candace said, looking at a picture of Kurt with a lot of other people.

"Yeah, I know. Luckily, they all don't live with me."

"Oh, they don't."

"Nope. It's just me, my parents, and my three younger siblings. My 12 year old brother, Jay, my 7 year old sister, Max, and my 4 year old sister Isabella."

"You're kidding!" Candace shrieked, ecstatic and surprised that Kurt had a younger sibling named Isabella as well.

"Yeah? Why?"

"My little brother's girlfriend's name is Isabella, too."

"The one with the head shaped like an "F" or the one with the head shaped like a triangle?"

"The one with the triangle head?"

"And how old is he?"

"What does it matter? You should see those two together. It's so puppy love!" Candace laughed, both happy at the fact that she had something to use to mess with his little brother, and happy that Phineas and Isabella were (finally) together, and happy. "But I think they have a future together. Anyway...wait, what were we talking about?"

"You were going nutty over the fact that my little sister's name is Isabella."

"Oh yeah. Well, I can't help it. It's such a cute name. Phineas would definitely agree with that. So, where are your parents, anyway?"

"They're out for the day. They went to some "How-To-Be-A-Better-Parent" ceminar, and they said they'd be gone the whole day."

"And they just left you here all by yourself?"

"Yep. That's right."

"And...what about your younger siblings?"

"My parents dropped them off at my grandmother's house."

"Why didn't they just let you babysit them here? Did you tell them I was coming?"

"Um a) because the last time my parents left me to babysit my brother & sister, I gave them a little too much sugar and they spun out of control, destroying our house..."

"When was that?"

"Last Tuesday. And b) I haven't exactly told them about you, yet." He looked at her sheepishly and was waiting for a response from her.

"You...You didn't? But...But..."

"Look, Candace, I like you and all, but we've only known each other for about a week. I don't think that's grounds for us to be considered "dating", yet, you know?"

Candace sighed and looked up. "Yeah, I guess so."

"And besides, after what you went through the past couple of days, I don't think I should tell them about us."

"Yeah, you're probably right. So, wait, does this mean...that we have the entire house to ourselves?"

"That's right. I mean, if you _want_ to spend the day here."

"Uh, uh, sure. T-That sounds nice. Sure. What do you want to do first?"

"The TV in here's got free On Demand. Want to pick out a movie? It'll save us a couple of bucks."

"Sounds like a plan!"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair to foil his latest evil plan. He sneaked in through the roof, tearing a hold through it with one of his gadgets, and lowered himself via rope to the ground. As he was about to touch the ground, he found himself being tied up by a bunch of duct tape that popped out of the ceiling. Dr. Doofenshmirtz came out of the shadows, cackling.

"Ahh, Perry the Platypus. So nice of you to join me." Dr. Doofenshmirtz said sinisterly. "I think you'll find that you're not going anywhere for quite a while. That duct tape is very adhesive, after all. Now, let me show you my latest evil scheme." Doofenshmirtz walked to the other side of his lair and pulled out two contraptions. One was a big machine that appeared to be some sort of holographic projector, and the other was a small portable ray gun.

"Behold..." He cackled. "I give you...the Holograph-inator! It...It's a lot better than it sounds. Let me explain. This giant machine will produce a holographic image of my choice, which I can control with the laptop I hooked up to it. And this ray gun, which I call the "Second-Part-To-My-Holograph-inator-inator", has the capability to bring any holographic image by materializing each of the image's pixels. Here, I'll show you." He walked over to the laptop and typed in some commands, bring up an image of a familiar and well-respected cartoon character (Spongebob). "See? If's a life-like image of Spongebob Squarepants, only a hologram. But, with my new contraption, I can instantly bring it to life!"

Doofenshmirtz aimed his ray at the image, and blasted it, slowly materializing into an actual, living, breathing Spongebob Squarepants. "Hello, world! I'M READY!" The Spongebob shouted. "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm-AUGH! A-AHH!" Suddenly, he started gasping for air, realizing that there was no water around. "I...can't...breath!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz flipped a switch on his gun, and blasted the Spongebob again, this time, de-materializing it back to its original holographic image.

"Luckily, I put a reverse switch on this thing." He groaned, not a big fan of the talking sponge. "With this device, I can make even the scariest of images come to life! With this, I will unleash a terror of evil monsters all over the Tri-State Area! Now, the only downfall to this plan is that my internet connection on my laptop isn't very good. So it takes a couple of minutes for an image to even pop up. And on top of that, I can only put up one image at a time. So instead of settling for many images of only one creature, I've decided to settle for one image of many creatures. Once I find it, the entire Tri-State Area is doomed!" He cackled for a long moment before decided to get back to his laptop.

"You just wait, Perry the Platypus. Soon, I will have an army of the most hideous, most disgusting, most violent monsters in mankind! That, and my new pet, Ezekiel..." A faint growl from Ezekiel came from the other room, where Norm was trying to keep him locked up in his cage. "Norm, are you alright, in there! I heard him, but I didn't hear you!"

"He's trying to break out of his cage, sir!" Norm yelled from the other room. Another growl from Ezekiel was heard. "I can't hold him off much longer, sir! AHHH!" The next sound that could be heard was the sound of a door being broken down, and Norm screaming & running out, with Ezekiel clamped hard onto his mechanical arm. Norm's attempts to shake Ezekiel off of his arm finally succeeded when Norm tried and fell flat on his mechanical face. The resulting impact caused Ezekiel to release his grip, and now, free from his cage, he growled & darted off for the open door, racing off to freedom in order to get some exercise.

"Ezekiel! Wait! Don't go!" Doofenshmirtz called, but Ezekiel was already long gone. He sighed and got back to his laptop. "Oh well, I'll get him later. Right now, I have more pressing matters to attend to. Like creating my own monster army!" He kept scrolling through his laptop for images of monsters. Finally, he was able to find one consisting of many, many slimy, disgusting creatures of the deep, and pulled it up on his holographic projector. "See, Perry the Platypus? These creatures will spell the end of the Tri-State Area!" He cackled loudly as he aimed and shot his ray gun at the picture. It began slowly materializing. The process, due to the picture having many pixels, took longer than usual. "This...This picture had a lot of pixels. It's going to take a couple of minutes."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb were at the Googleplex Mall, in an old-timey trading card shop, buying themselves "Monster Royal" cards. They were reading to get themselves into the game and join their friends in the fun.

"Hello, boys, what can I get you today?" The store clerk cheerily asked them. He was always happy to see Phineas & Ferb there. They were his favorite customers.

"Good morning, Mr. Dudley." Phineas happily replied. "We're here to buy ourselves some "Monster Royal" cards. Our friends are all into it, and we want to find out what we've been missing."

"First time players?" He asked, they nodded. "Well, great. Then I would recommend the "Monster Royal" Starter Deck, complete with game mats, a 40-card starter deck, and the rule book." He grabbed two boxes of starter decks and handed them to Phineas & Ferb. "That'll be $10.00"

"$10?"

"Each. Hey, this game's popular, man. Demand is high, supply is low."

"You drive a hard bargain. But OK." Phineas and Ferb both took out $10 bills and handed them to the clerk, who then handed them their starter decks. "Let's crack these bad boys open, Ferb." As they headed out of the store, they immediately got to opening their boxes. They took a seat on one of the nearby benches and looked through their cards. Phineas was immediately fascinated by the pictures of monsters in his starter deck. "Wow, Ferb, check out all of these cool monsters. They're drawn so beautifully."

"I agree. Whoever did the artwork for these cards obviously has talent." Ferb agreed.

"It's just too bad we can't bring these monster images to life. Then dueling would be so much more fun. Hey, wait a minute..." It was then that Phineas started formulating an idea in his brain. "Bring these monsters to life...Ferb, that's it! I know what we're gonna do today! Why should we settle for just a plain old game mat when we could completely revamp this game up by bringing the images of the creatures on these cards to life." He looked over at his stepbrother, who gave him an immediate thumbs up. "Come on! Let's go home and get started. We're wasting valuable time."

So he and his stepbrother took their cards & returned home at a break-neck pace. Grabbing Ferb's toolbox, they immediately got to work on a device that would help them bring the monsters on the cards to life. A little while into their project, and they were visited by their friends, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and Irving.

"Hey guys." Isabella said sweetly, interrupting their projects. "Working hard or hardly working?"

Phineas laughed. "Good one, Isabella." He replied, as she walked over to him to give him a big hug.

"What'cha doin' this time?"

"Well, Ferb and I decided that we weren't going to settle with just the boring version of these cards. So we're working on a holographic projector that will project the image of any card we choose. Here, we'll show you." Phineas and Ferb unveiled their device. It was a small, 6 inch thick hologram projecting disk that had a slot on the side where a card could be put to project its image. Phineas took out one of his cards and placed it within the slot, and within minutes, a giant holographic image of a guy in a samurai robe and holding a samurai sword appeared right in front of them.

Everyone ooh'd and aww'd, gazing at the sight of the holographic image. It was truly lifelike, practically the size of one of them. But it was holographic, so nobody felt an immediate threat. "Wow, it looks amazing." Irving noted.

"It's so lifelike." Baljeet said. "It really looks just like a samurai!"

"You've outdone yourselves, again, Phineas." Isabella told her boyfriend & his stepbrother.

"Oh, please, Isabella. The guys who created this game did the artwork. We just helped bring it to life."

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, his image of many monsters was almost finished being materialized. Meanwhile, Perry was desperately trying to escape from his duct tape trap. The duct tape was strong, but it proved no match for Perry. With his extraordinary bite, he was able to, quickly, and quietly, chew through the tape and escape his trap, and Doofenshmirtz was never the wiser. In fact, the only clue that Doofenshmirtz had of his escape was Perry kicking him in the face and knocking him away from his laptop.

"Perry the Platypus! How did you escape! That's some powerful duct tape. You must have the bite of a shark or something." Doofenshmirtz commented, slowly standing up. "Ow, for a platypus with webbed feet, you sure kick hard. But you're too late! Just look!" Doofenshmirtz pointed to his no-longer holographic image. The materialization process was nearing completion, and by now, the monsters he was summoning had all developed their personalities. As their legs finished crossing over, if you will, they all roared and growled, with one thing in mind: destruction. "My monster army is now complete! And I will unleash my army all over the Tri-State Area!"

He stood up and rushed in front of the monsters. "Welcome to Earth, my monster ar-" But before he even got a chance to give a single order, the monsters started trudging forward, practically running him over. Even though the army was created on his behalf, they had no intention of listening to a thing he said. "Ow! That really hurt!" Doofenshmirtz said, rubbing his face after having been trampled by his own creations. "What happened? I created them. They should be listening to me, not killing me. Let me see that picture again."

He rushed over to his laptop and researched the background of the picture he got. "Uh oh. The picture I materialized was from one of those old-timey, failed comic strip entitled "The Real Monsters of New Jersey". It was about a group of slimy, disgusting monsters who lived under one roof in a never ending quest to acquire all the chocolate bars in the world. Well, now I see why it was cancelled so early. But you know what this means? I have absolutely no control over these monsters unless I offer them chocolate. And I don't have any on me! Oh, this is terrible! Norm, what should we do!" He turned to his robot assistant, who wasn't even paying attention to the situation, but moreso to his broken robotic arm.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. You were saying something about chocolate?"

Doofenshmirtz groaned and slapped his forehead. "Oh, this is terrible! I have to go fetch them and get them back into my computer before things go completely haywire! Thankfully, my ray gun has a reverse switch on it.!" He grabbed his gun and ran right out the door to chase his monster, who were long gone, deep into the Tri-State Area. As he was heading out the front door, he accidentally tripped over his laptop, and by doing so, he accidentally pulled the trigger and shot a blast out into the air, and the resulting blast made an arc so high that...well...

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, and all of their friends were admiring the holographic image of the samurai that was right in front of them, all thanks to Phineas and Ferb's newest creation. But their enjoyment of it would soon end. Little did they realize that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's handy gun blast accidentally hit the image of the samurai. Right before their eyes, yet oblivious to them, it began to materialize into a living figure.

"Isn't it amazing?" Phineas asked his friends.

"It sure is." Isabella replied.

"Ignoring the fact that it's just a simple hologram and that it's not real or ever has any chance or being real, it _is_ quite lifelike." Baljeet piped up, not realizing that the samurai image was now no longer an image, and was now real. On top of that, he had heard everything that Baljeet had said about him, and he was not happy. "The samurai suit is quite accurate, though there are some inaccuracies concern the design..." He reached out to touch the cloth, not realizing that it was real. So when his hand didn't go through it, he, along with everybody else, gasped. Meanwhile, the samurai had heard enough. He turned around viciously, took out his sword, and held it at his throat.

"Who dares to lay a hand on the Samurai Master?" He yelled, with a voice that held an eerie similarity to that of famous comedian Jack Black. Baljeet was sweating where he stood, so much that he almost soiled himself.

"Whoa, did you guys hear that?" Phineas was amazed that his holographic image could talk. He didn't at all realize what had just happened. "He can talk."

"But I thought you said he was just a hologram." Isabella asked.

"I-I thought so, too."

"Who are you peasants!" The Samurai Master shrieked, turning to the rest of them and leaving Baljeet be. In a hurry, he rushed home to avoid being terrified and to change his pants. "Answer me now! You dare not test me."

"Hi, Mr. Samurai Master. I'm Phineas Flynn, and these are all of my friends." Phineas said, showing the Samurai all of his companions. The Samurai Master appeared very confused, as he observed the friends, then his surroundings.

"This is not my homeland." He replied after a brief silence of observing his surroundings. "Where am I? What have you done with my disciples!" He turned to face Phineas angrily, beginning to draw his sword again.

"Disciples? What are you taking about? You're not even real. You're just a holograph of a picture from a trading card."

"You dare mock me of my Samurai skills? I could cut you up and eat you for breakfast if I wanted to."

"What? No, I'm not mocking you, or anything."

"Then tell me where my disciples are! Unless...unless you've captured them and are hiding them somewhere in this bizarre dimension. That's it! You have captured every one of my students and are hiding them somewhere in this bizarre dimension. Well, I am calling your threat! I will find them and then we will come back and destroy each and every one of you." He promised, even taking out his sword and holding it to each of their faces to prove that he was serious. Then he put it away, and dashed off down the street to look for his "disciples".

Each kid stood there, motionless, staring at the now faraway samurai. "Well, that was weird." Phineas said cheerfully, completely unaware of what was about to go through. In fact, his only clue was a flying piece of debris that apparently came from the city. It flew right over their heads and headed straight down a few houses, and crashed into Cleveland Brown's house.

The floorboard slowly started tipping downward and the bathtub started sliding off. "No, no, no, NO, NO, **NO**!" He yelled as his bathtub slid right off and fell to the ground, breaking on impact. He looked up at the big rock that had crashed into his house. "Where the heck did _that_ come from!" He shouted, scared out of his mind.

The kids, meanwhile, were more focused on the fact that their "creation" had run into town and was about to cause some trouble. So they grabbed their device and ran into town to follow him.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another neighborhood, Candace was enjoying her day with Kurt. The two of them were watching a movie in the living room: after having a bit of an argument over what movie genre they wanted to watch, with Kurt wanting an action movie and Candace wanting a romantic comedy, they both settled on a comedy, more specifically, "Grown Ups".

"OK, seriously, can these guys get any funnier?" Kurt remarked about the actors and their natural ability to stir up some funny. He was laughing so hard he was breathless.

"I know. This is like, one of my favorite movies of all time." Candace replied, also laughing hard. "And the best part is that it's absolutely free, and that nothing can-" She was interrupted by a breaking news bulletin. Apparently, that could happen on On-Demand channels in Danville (one of the few flaws of those TV's. And yes, I know it can't happen in real life, so don't bug me about it)

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin." Tom Tucker said on the other side. "Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker. Diana Simmons can't be with us today, or ever again, because she's dead. Over the past hour, Channel 5 studios have received hundreds of messages regarding a monster attack on the Tri-State Area. Several giant, dripping slime-like creatures have been spotted according to reports. We go live now to Ollie Williams on the scene for an exclusive interview with one of these disgusting creatures of the deep. Ollie?"

The scene on the TV switched to Ollie Williams about to speak when a green, slimy lake monster-like creature came down and gobbled him up in two bites. The scene returned to the news room quickly.

"OK, we'll come back to that. Coming up next, how _you_ can lose up to 20 pounds without ever having to go to the gym."

Candace shut the TV off and turned to Kurt. "What the heck was that?"

"I don't know. But it certainly didn't look good. You don't think it has something to do with your brothers, do you?"

"What? No, no. They have been able to do some crazy stuff in the past. But I don't think they'd be crazy enough to do _that_ to the town. Right?" Her belief, which was true, that Phineas & Ferb were not responsible for the attacks were interrupted when they heard the sound of screeching, and a samurai screaming outside the house.

The two rushed outside to see what the trouble was. It was then that they saw the monsters attacking and the samurai holding a couple of by-passers hostage with his sword. Candace screamed in fear, not only drawing attention to herself, but also making herself look foolish in the process. The monsters all saw her and started slowly creeping up to her and Kurt. Meanwhile, the Samurai simply stayed where he was, holding his sword up to the necks of an innocent family.

"What's happening?" Kurt shouted.

"I don't know. I never thought I'd actually have to say this, but...PHINEAS AND FERB! HELP!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that a miracle would happen, this time, the miracle being her brothers. And sure enough, in the blink of an eye, Phineas, Ferb, & their friends came running up the street, and saw Candace & Kurt being approached by the monster.

"Hey, ugly!" Phineas shouted, garnering the monster's attention. Now, he was focused on getting his slimy hands on Phineas. "Leave my sister & her friend alone!" The monster, somehow, understood him and slowly started approaching the lot. He growled as he approached the kids. They all started to back away from the monster, ready to dart in the other direction if it came to that. He was about to unleash one of his green tentacles on them when all of a sudden they heard even more growling. But this time, it wasn't coming from the monster that was going after the , this time, it was coming from Ezekiel, Doofenshmirtz's pet, who had tackled the monster and had started pouncing on its head. As a result, the monster screeched and, in a frenzy, started moving around in circles in an attempt to shake Ezekiel off of him. But those attempts failed. His grip was far too powerful and he wouldn't stop pouncing on his head. "Hey, it's that creepy monster that attacked Candace! Go, creepy monster!" Phineas shouted.

"Rip its eyes out, you freak!" Candace screamed, cheering alongside his brother. Ezekiel, although he paid no attention to Candace or Phineas, unintentionally listened to them, and continued pouncing on the green monster. Unbeknown to him, however, the other monsters that Doofenshmirtz had summoned into the real world had also arrived on the scene, and seeing one of their fellow monsters in trouble, they rushed over to the scene to help him out, only to have themselves face Ezekiel, as he jumped off and pounced on each of them, giving them a run for their money.

Eventually, though, his "hot streak", ended, and Ezekiel tired, acknowledging that the monsters were obviously not caving into his aggression. So he finally decided to back off and let go. Unfortunately, by doing so, he gave the monsters a chance to fight back, and they did. The green, slimy monster grabbed Ezekiel by the neck with one of its tentacles, and started bashing him around for a while. Soon the other monsters joined in and started beating on Ezekiel, and it was only after Ezekiel managed to bite one of the monster's arms that he was able to escape, only to have the monsters

"Well, that didn't last very long." Phineas remarked.

"Phineas, Ferb, how could you guys create monsters so dangerous like that!" Candace shouted, immediately demanding answers.

"But Candace, we didn't create those monsters."

"You didn't?"

"No, but we _did_ create that Samurai." Ferb said, pointing to the Samurai that was still across the street, holding an innocent family hostage in a delusional state of mind.

"I will _not_ ask you peasants again! Where are my disciples!" The Samurai shouted. The family stood there and cowered.

"Please. We-We don't have a clue what you're talking about! J-Just let us go!"

"Lies! You speak nothing but lies!"

The kids, Candace, and Kurt all stood there and watched as the Samurai continued to terrorize the family. "So...Phineas, Ferb, how did you guys, uh...bring this guy about, anyway?" Candace asked.

"Well, you know that new card game that the entire Tri-State's talking about?"

"Monster Royal? Yeah, I've heard of it. Personally, I think it's lame."

"Well, we created this device that projects holographic devices life size. But somehow, there was a malfunction and it materialized that guy into a real, living creature."

"Well, change him back into a hologram."

"Candace, we don't even know how he changed into a real person in the first place. How the heck are we supposed to figure out how to change him back in to a hologram?"

"Don't ask me. You're the ones who did it in the first place."

"Hey, don't yell at us. We weren't the ones who brought it to life. Obviously, some outside force did that, and now we have to figure out how to reverse it."

"Perhaps if we reverse engineer the device that "created" him in the first place, we can figure out how to turn him back into a hologram." Ferb suggested to the group.

"But, Ferb, we're not even sure if it was _us_ that did it in the first place."

"You got any better ideas?'

"No. I have to admit yours is a good idea. Alright, let's do it. Now, where is it?"

"I thought you brought it with you."

"I thought _you_ did."

"We must've left it at the house in our scurry." Irving noted. "No big deal, it's probably still where we left it in our front yard. Come on. We can still make it back with that thing in one piece if we hurry back." The kids, Candace, and Kurt all took off for the Flynn-Fletcher home, leaving behind the monsters, Ezekiel, and the Samurai.

Unfortunately, heading home didn't help them in the least. When they arrived back home, hey soon discovered that a tiny, vampire-like creature was busy destroying their contraption. "Oh no!" Phineas shouted. "He's destroying our device!" As soon as he was finished, the creature threw what remains there were aside and ran off. The kids approached the contraption, and Phineas seemed the most shocked out of anyone. "It's ruined."

"Can't you build another one?" Candace asked. "I mean, how long did it take you in the first place?"

"Only a few minutes, actually. But still, the fact that we have to do it again at all hurts. All that hard work and now it's gone." He said, staring down at the device that had just been broken.

"Don't worry, Phineas. If we all pitch in, I'm sure we can get it done in half the time it took you and Ferb to build it in the first place." Isabella assured him, walking up to him and hugging him.

"Aw, thanks Isabella. You're so sweet." He replied, blushing.

"Why do you even need to build another one in the first place? Wouldn't it save you lots of time to just build something to turn these things back into holograms or something?" Kurt suggested.

"Hey, I didn't even think of that. Alright, then. Let's get moving!"

* * *

Meanwhile, downtown, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was out and about, trying to find the monsters that he had created. He had gone halfway through town and was surprised to see that even though the monsters had apparently been busy terrorizing the people of the town, they had not caused any severe damage. "Huh. You know, I thought that the world's most dangerous monsters would be able to cause a bit more devastation than this. Kind of a rip off."

His disappointment was put down instantly when he heard a loud screech coming from the sky. He looked up and saw a giant hawk coming down, aiming at Doofenshmirtz with its big, sharp claws. He came down on a tilt at a neck-breaking pace, ready to claw his eyes out. "Oh, yes! Now _that's_ what I'm talking about! That's a mons-AHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as the giant hawk's monstrous claws picked him up by the shoulders and carried him up into the sky. "Put me down, you gigantic, menacing creature! I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, evil genius!"

"Evil genius? You're being carried by a giant hawk over the entire town. And _you're_ an evil genius?" The hawk barked to Doofenshmirtz. In a state of total shock, he looked up at the hawk, surprised that he was being carried by a talking hawk.

"Did you...did you just talk?"

"Dude, didn't you look up anything about that photo you found of us? I'm the talking hawk. In fact, most of the other monsters in that comic strip were supposed to talk, but it went unfinished, and I was the only one they got done."

"Oh. Well, that's kind of stupid."

"Stupid? You're the one talking to a what's supposed to be an imaginary hawk monster."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I think I just said that, buddy. Were you _not_ listening?"

"You know something? I think that you're not real. I think that you're just a figment of my crazy imagination. In fact, if you were to drop me right now, I wouldn't suffer any injuries whatsoever."

"Dude, it's a 100 foot drop from up here."

"Says the fake, "just in my imagination" giant hawk that's carrying me 100 feet from potential death. Go ahead. Drop me. I dare you."

"OK." The hawk was quick to agree, slowly releasing his grip. Doofenshmirtz screamed.

"Why did you do that?"

"You asked me to!"

"I-I was just kidding around. Hey, come on, buddy. Pal. Amigo..." He began sweating as the hawk's grip loosens even more. Eventually, he lets go altogether, allowing Dr. Doofenshmirtz to fall to the ground.

"CURE YOU, GIANT TALKING HAWK WHO SOUNDS LIKE DAVID BOREANEZ!" He screamed as he fell from 100 feet in the air, and eventually landed on his stomach...hard. He groaned and moaned as he struggled to stand up. "Ow, I think I broke my pelvis. Ow, that hurt!"

"Ha ha! So long, sucker!" The hawk shouted one last time as he flew off into town to cause havoc.

"I'll get you for this!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, waving his fist in the air. "I have my secret weapon, after all..." He attempted to hold up his ray gun to prove his point. Ironically, it was that very device that broke his fall. "Oh, man. It took me an hour to build this. OK, that's it. I'm going home." He said flatly, turning around and heading back home. Frankly, he didn't care about the fact that the Tri-State Area was going to be overtaken by monsters. He was tired, and wanted to go to bed.

* * *

Even though Doofenshmirtz had given up, Phineas, Ferb, & the others weren't about to. Phineas & Ferb were hard at work, constructing a device that could help reverse the damage and changed the monsters & the Samurai back into holograms. "Almost done, and...finished!" Phineas & Ferb held up their device triumphantly. It looked like just an ordinary paint ball shooter.

"It looks like an ordinary paint ball shooter." Irving remarked.

"Don't be fooled, Irving. It may look like an ordinary paint ball shooter...and it is. But, it's what we fire out of these paint ball shooters that matters. Observe." Phineas held up what appeared to be a small, clear ball in his fingertips. "These balls, when fired from our paint ball shooters, with reduce its target into nothing more than mere pieces of CyberCode, thus eliminating the threat of the monsters in Danville."

"So what you're saying is that we're gonna be playing paint ball with the monsters?" Buford asked.

"No, you ninny! We're going to be turning them back into holograms." Irving shouted, frustrated at Buford's apparent ignorance.

"Jeez, lose the attitude, much."

"Come on, guys. Grab a paint ball and some ammo. This might get ugly!"

So the friends all grabbed their ammo and their weapons and headed out into town. It didn't take them long to spot their first few monsters. Through incredible accuracy and stealth, the friends barely went through their supply of "paint balls" and already they had dealt with nearly every monster that had been created. The only one they still needed was the giant hawk that caused Doofenshmirtz injury, and they also needed the Samurai they had originally created.

"Wow, we're making great time." Phineas remarked. "All those monsters down, one to go." He said, referring to the Samurai. He, and everybody else, was completely unaware of the giant hawk that had injured Doofenshmirtz earlier. "Hey, there he is!" Phineas spotted the Samurai running into the distance, still convinced that his followers had been kidnapped. "Let's get him!"

"Who goes there!" He shouted and turned to see Phineas, Ferb & the rest of the gang heading his way. "You again!" He shouted, causing them to stop instantly in their tracks. "You are all responsible for the disappearance of my disciples!"

"Man, we didn't do nothing! Why do you keep riding us like this?" Irving inquired.

"Because you have disgraced me. And you have disgraced my people. And now, you shall feel the wrath...of a thousand and one...black and-" But before he could go even further, Irving took his weapon and shot the Samurai, and as he began to degenerate, he screamed loudly, moreso exaggerating his degeneration. "No! I am being...decompressed into millions and millions of little atoms that will eventually amount to nothing in this cruel, cruel-"

"Get over it. You're not real." Irving said plainly as the Samurai finally dispersed back onto its respective trading card.

"Phew! Glad that's over with." Phineas said triumphantly, wiping sweat from his brow and receiving a kiss from Isabella.

"Me too." Isabella replied. "So, can we finally sit down and just play this game the way it's supposed to be played? You know, with a playing mat, and no holograms?"

"Sure. Still, it'd be a lot of fun to see where those others-"

"Phineas..." Candace interrupted, looking up in the sky, and seeing the giant bird that was floating above. "I don't think we're done yet."

"What makes you say that?" Phineas asked before looking up and noticing the giant hawk above them. "Whoa, look at the size of that thing."

"It's enormous." Django commented.

"It's the ugliest bird I've ever seen." Ferb remarked.

"Phineas, will our weapons work against that thing?" Baljeet pondered.

"There's only one way to find out." Phineas slowly raised his weapon and pulled the trigger at the giant hawk. In mere seconds, it too, was being reduced to microscopic atoms, being returned to its holographic form. Before they knew it, it was gone. Everyone around them and themselves were relieved to have the crisis over. "Well, that was easy."

"So...we're done? They're all gone?" Adyson asked.

"I think so. I don't know about you guys, but I think that's the last time I'm ever going to lay eyes on these cards." Phineas said, taking out a bunch of "Monster Royal" cards.

"Yeah, I'm with you, dude." Buford agreed, as did everybody else. "So what should we do with these?"

"I say we keep them. In the future, they could be worth a lot of money if we keep them in mint condition." Irving replied. "I know that's what I'm going to do with all of my Phineas and Ferb collectables."

"OK, seriously, Irving, we need to have a talk about that." Phineas said sternly to Irving.

"Why? Isabella acts that way around you all the time, and you're OK with that."

"But that's difference. She's a girl, and my future wife. You're just a...nerd." Hearing those words spoken by Phineas caused Buford to break out into hysterical laughter, laughter which confused and annoyed the other kids in the group, including Irving. "OK, Buford, I think we get the point." Phineas said after a minute of laughing. "Now, I _think_ that was all the monsters. But..."

Unfortunately, jinxing them, the lot of them saw Ezekiel, Doofenshmirtz's pet, running amuck, going just past them down the street, with no intentions or goals in mind. He had no idea what he was doing, and neither did any of the kids. "Uh oh. I think we missed one."

"Who cares? Let's just go home and spend the rest of the day thinking of something else to do." Ferb interjected, not wishing to spend one more minute with monster hunting.

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Came various shouts of agreement from all the kids, as they all headed down the street, back home to enjoy the rest of the summer day. As they were making their way down the street, they heard a familiar growling sound next to them. Phineas looked down and saw that Perry had arrived next to them. "Oh, there you are, Perry." Sparked Phineas, sporting his usual end-of-day catchphrase.

**End of Episode 40!**

**Whew! This one was tough to write. I almost gave up due to lack of inspiration. But I finished. Wasn't pretty, but I finished.**

**Next Time: A simple birthday hunt turns into a retrieval mission for Django. Will contain slight MillyxDjango. Not much, but enough (hopefully) to satisfy you shippers.**

**Expected Update: ?**


	50. 41a: Will The Real Milly Please Rise?

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 41a: Will The Real Milly Please Rise?**

**Episode Summary: When Milly accidentally mistakes a gift for Django's family as one for her, it's up to the boy to get it back from her without hurting her feelings. Meanwhile, Perry has difficulty getting into his lair.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun was up on another glorious day in Danville. Phineas and Ferb were in their backyard with their friends (excluding Django and Milly) helping them think of a project.

"Hey guys." And right on cue, Django entered the picture holding a neatly wrapped box.

"What'cha got there, Django?"

"It's a present for my Aunt Millie's birthday. She's turning 50 tomorrow, and I thought this would make her feel better about it since she's always complaining that she doesn't have any fancy things to wear."

"That's nice of you, Django. Say, wanna join us? Today, we're all going to do a little role-playing. The boys are gonna dress up as girls to see what it's like, and vise-versa."

"That sounds a little creepy."

"I agree. But we just got into a little tiff with the girls about which gender has the tougher job understand romance. So we've decided to switch roles. So the girls can see our perspective and we can see theirs."

"Uh, OK."

"Come on. We've got a lot of girls' clothes in our closet. Let's go."

"Wait, we're still waiting for Milly." Isabella noted, noticing that one of their Fireside Girls was missing.

"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll find us. Now come on. We're burning daylight!" Phineas shouted as he and everybody else there stood up and excitedly charged for the house. Once they were inside and far away from the backyard, Milly came in, having no idea where they were.

"Isabella? I'm here! I got your text." She shouted, hoping that Isabella would come out. "Where are you?" Before Django followed Phineas & Ferb into the house, he accidentally dropped the present he was getting for his aunt and left it under the shady tree. It was now that Milly noticed it and picked it up. "What's this?" She asked herself, picking it up and reading the tag on it. "To Millie. Hope you like it. Love, Django." Not enterprising it as a gift for his aunt, she instead thought that it was a gift for her. "I can't believe it. He actually bought me a present. And it's not even my birthday!"

She giggled and hugged the gift, opening it right away. She was delighted with what was inside: It was a beautiful red jacket. "Oh my gosh, it's beautiful! How did he know I wanted this?" She gleed as she slowly put it on, admiring every inch of it. "I can't wait to give him a thank you when I see him. Now, where could Isabella be?" She decided to head over across the street to see if Isabella was there, still unaware that she was actually with Phineas.

Meanwhile, she, along with the others, came out of the house after Django had realized he had left his gift outside. "I swear I left it out here under the tree..." Django explained, looking in the direction of the tree, only to see nothing under there. "And now it's gone. Where'd it go?"

"And where's Milly? She still hasn't answered me." Isabella said, checking her cellphone for a response from Milly. It was then that Phineas realized that Phineas got an idea as to where the gift was.

"Django, what did you say your aunt's name was?" Phineas asked Django.

"Millie. Why? Oh wait, you don't think..." Django wondered if Phineas was thinking that Milly had taken the gift by accident. "Oh no. Milly must've thought it was addressed to her. They both have the same name, just different spelling. This is horrible! My aunt's flying out from Nebraska tonight for her birthday and I wanted to give her her gift early."

"This is not such a big deal. After all, we at least know who has the present." Baljeet reminded them.

"Yeah, but we don't know _where_ it is."

"I see her! She's over at Isabella's!" Gretchen yelled, pointing out Milly, who was at the front door of Isabella's house, talking to Vivian, Isabella's mother, and trying to find her. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Django ran across the street to find her, calling her name. She turned around and was delighted to see Django.

"Hi guys!" She waved to her as she ran over and met Django halfway, giving him a big hug. "Oh, Django, I love this. Thank you so much!" She shouted happily.

"No, Milly, you don't understand. It's-" Phineas tried to explain to get her to understand, but he was nudged in the elbow by Isabella. "Ow! Hey!"

"I think I'm gonna go home and show this off to my family! See ya later!" She giggled as she trotted away, thinking happy thoughts, all centered around having been given the best gift ever from Django. Unfortunately, that was not the case, and everybody but her knew it.

"Isabella, what was that for?" Phineas asked Isabella as soon as Milly was out of sight.

"Phineas, if there's one thing you need to know with girls, it's that you can't just come out and say stuff like that when it comes to things like presents and stuff."

"But...it's not hers. It belongs to Django."

"I know. But we need to let her down gently. How about we wait a while and see what happens."

"But what if she runs off and accidentally ruins it? I don't have time to run out and get another birthday gift for her." Django panicked.

"Don't worry. I'm sure in time, all of this will be resolved. Now come on. Let's get going on today's activity!" Isabella encouraged, as the other kids, excluding Django, followed her away back into the house for them to get started on the day's project. Django, however, was in no mood. He was determined to get his present for his aunt back from Milly.

"I can't afford to wait." He said to himself, turning in the direction that Milly had gone in. "My aunt's coming into town tonight. I wanted to give her that gift, so I have to get it from Milly now. Boy, am I in for a rough day. I hope Perry's doing better."

* * *

Unfortunately, Django was wrong. Perry was in the backyard, behind the tree, waiting for everybody to disappear. As soon as Django was out of the picture, he put his fedora on and rushed over to the house where his secret passage was. He knocked twice and waited for the door to be opened. But after a moment of waiting, he realized that there was something wrong, since his door wasn't opening. So he knocked again, this time, harder, but still, nothing happened.

Frustrated, he decided to find another entrance in the backyard. He went over to the trashcans and attempted to jump through the one that normally leads to his lair. But when it didn't work, he simply assumed that he jumped into the wrong can, so he jumped into the other one. Unfortunately, that one was actually a garbage can, and when he came out, he was covered from head to toe in garbage. Even more frustrated now, he trudged away from the trashcan, into the house, to find another entrance into his lair.

Meanwhile, down under, in Perry's lair, Monogram, his boss, was waiting for him to arrive. "Agent P? Agent P? Hello?"

"Maybe the entrances are jammed." Carl, off-screen, asked. "I just received a call from Agent E with the same problem."

"That's nonsense, Carl. I take it upon myself to make sure that all agent entrances are working 100% efficiently."

"Then how do you explain Agent P's absence. He didn't call in sick."

"Well, I don't know what! But I sure don't think it has anything to do with a malfunction of some sort."

"Suit yourself, sir."

* * *

Django decided to follow Milly all around town to see if he could get an opportunity to take the jacket back before night fell. He first spotted Milly heading away from Isabella's house into town, sporting the red jacket. He didn't want to hurt Milly's feelings, but he also wanted to get the jacket back to give to his Aunt Millie.

He followed her all the way down town where she went into the toy store to look at some of the toys they had for girls her age. Django made sure to stay close behind, with the only thing on his mind being getting the jacket back. After picking out a toy for herself, Milly left the store, with an even bigger spring in her step, and decided to head down to the Danville Daycare Center, where she usually goes for her volunteer work for the Fireside Girls Organization.

Originally, Django's soul focus was to simply get Milly away from the jacket and take it back, as he was focused on his aunt's birthday. But, with each location he followed Milly to, that thought slowly began to diminish. Each time he managed to get a look at her, he saw just how beautiful she looked in that red jacket, and slowly but surely, Django was beginning to fall head over heels for her. Yet, there was still a part of him that wanted to get the jacket back and give it to his aunt as a present.

He thought he could go the whole day without being spotted by Milly, but unfortunately, while they were at the food court, he slipped up, and was in plain sight for Milly to see. "Django!" She shouted upon laying her eyes on him. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? Uh, I'm...I'm..." He was desperate to think of an excuse as to why he was where he was. He did not want to be accused of spying on her, even though it was something she would be OK with (you know, cause she had a huge crush on him). "I just wanted to see how you like your gift..."

"Like it? I love it! Oh thank you, Django!" She shouted, reaching out and hugging him. "This must've cost you a fortune."

He chuckled sheepishly. "Don't ask."

"I can't believe you did this for me. I didn't think you liked me."

"What do you mean? Of course I like you."

"Yeah, but not the way I like you."

"The way you like me? What are you talking about?" Django seemed visibly confused.

"Ugh, you're just like Phineas used to be. Django, you're funny, you're cute, and you have amazing art skills. I don't know, I guess you could call it "puppy love", but...anyway, it was really nice of you what you did." She leaned in and lightly kissed Django on the cheek, causing him to blush madly. "I'll see you later." She said before she dashed off for home.

Django was going to retaliate and call her back to explain the situation. But, after hearing just how thankful she was for it, and how she liked him so, he was conflicted. "She likes me. She really does like me." The last thing he would do was hurt anybody's feelings, but he really wanted a birthday gift for his aunt. This thought continued to linger on his mind as he walked the whole way home.

* * *

Meanwhile, back home, Perry was still having trouble getting access into his secret lair. Every single entrance in the Flynn-Fletcher home that led to his lair was either broken or blocked off somehow. The frustrated platypus left the home, without being noticed by Candace, Lawrence, or Linda, and went across the street to Isabella's house, to find an entrance that Pinky normally used, because then he could get Pinky's boss to transfer him to Monogram's department.

He sneaked over to the back of the home, and saw an open entrance at the side. He slowly slipped through it and shot down the tube into Pinky's lair, unaware that Pinky was receiving his mission at the time.

"...and it is your job to stop Professor Poofenplotz before she steals all the..." Pinky's Boss, Wanda Acronym, then noticed Perry in the background, and screamed. "AHH! Rodent! It's a rodent!" And no sooner did two robotic security guards tackled Perry to the ground, and, with brute force, shot him back up the tube and out the entrance, preventing him from getting back inside. The door shut tight, leaving Perry mad and unable to get into his own lair. As all hope seemed to be lost, his communicator watch went off. On the other line, it was his boss.

"Agent P, thank goodness." Monogram said. "I apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced trying to get into your lair. A power outage last night caused our entrance system to be faulty for a short time. But, now that we have fixed that problem, we are happy to report that the system is up and running once again, and you are free to come and go as you please. Unfortunately, I don't have a mission involving Dr. Doofenshmirtz today, but if you like, we could-"

Before another word could be spoken, Perry shut off his watch and was on his way back to the Flynn-Fletcher home, looking forward to a day off. Those hopes, however, were dashed instantly when he arrived in front of his house when he saw Phineas & his friends coming out the front door. He quickly took his fedora off and assumed his "dumb pet" mode. The kids all came out with the boys wearing girls' clothing, and the girls wearing boys' clothing. Perry's jaw nearly dropped to the ground seeing Phineas & Ferb in dresses and high heels.

"Man, these high heels really hurt the heels." Phineas whined.

"Well, get used to it dude. That's how us ladies get around regularly." Isabella retorted, wearing an orange shirt (similar to Phineas's) and blue shorts (which she was absolutely loving). "But that's nothing compared to these luxurious blue pants you wear on a daily basis..."

"Keep it together, Isabella. It's just for one day. Remember?"

"Aw, does it have to be? These shorts are so comfortable. Now I understand why you look _so_ cute in them." She replied giggling, causing Phineas to blush madly.

"Remind me again why this was a good idea." Irving inquired, noticing how Isabella's flirtation around Phineas was much stronger than it ever was.

"Irving, relax. Isabella can't help herself. She's totally crazy about me."

"Yeah, and besides, it's not like I'm _that_ crazy about him, am I?"

"YES!" Everybody instantly answered before Isabella could finish, leaving her and Phineas blushing madly, and giggling at each other. As they prepared to leave the home, Phineas and Ferb noticed their pet platypus below them.

"Hey, there you are, Perry. You're home early." Phineas remarked.

"Perhaps wherever he usually goes had some sort of rain delay." Ferb inquired.

"Ferb, there's not a cloud in the sky." Phineas pointed out. Little did his friends know that he knew about Perry's double life as a secret agent, and since he found out, he had been doing a great job covering for him.

"Perhaps he left the Tri-State Area."

"Yeah, right. And where exactly would he go? He's a platypus. He can't possibly-nevermind. Let's just move on." As the kids were about to leave the yard, Django came running up, panting.

"Guys! Guys!" He shouted, getting their attention. Though his problem was briefly diverted upon seeing everybody wearing ridiculous clothes. "Whoa, what's up with you guys?"

"We're playing role-reversal. Wanna join us?" Phineas asked.

"Uh, no thanks. I'd rather not wear any high heels or any of that stuff."

"OK, suit yourself." Phineas was about to leave with the others when he remembered that Django had something he needed to do. "Wait. How did that jacket hunt go? Did you find Milly?"

"No, no I didn't." He lied. He didn't want to get his friends mixed up in his plans. But Phineas, always (well, almost) the clever one, saw through his face.

"You're lying, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes. You found her, didn't you?"

Seeing no way out of it, he fessed up. "OK, yes." He sighed. "I found her. But she was so happy thinking that I had gotten it as a present for her. I just couldn't take it away from her." Little did Django or Phineas know was that Milly was just coming up the street, having finished her Community Service.

"But you said you needed that jacket to give to your aunt."

"I did. But, seeing how happy it made Milly, I just couldn't take it away from her. I'm just not that kind of guy. I didn't want to hurt her feelings."

"You realize that she is going to find out eventually, right?"

"Yeah, but I figured that by then, I would have done a lot of other horrible things and that this would seem like nothing."

Milly gasped upon hearing that the jacket Django had "given" to her was not initially supposed to be hers, and was surprised to hear that after all of it, he would let her keep it anyway. Her initial reaction was delight because she believed that it was a sign of him returning her feelings, but it was also filled with guilt, since the jacket was not supposed to be hers and she did not want to rob somebody of something that was rightfully theirs. In a quick haste, she turned around and headed down the street, in the direction of Django's house.

It was only when they heard the loud sound of feet turning in another direction did Phineas and Django turn around and notice Milly running up the street. "Hey, there's Milly now. Where is she going?" Phineas asked.

"It looks like she's heading over to my house." Django replied. "I better go see what's up." He started running up to Milly to see what the problem was, completely unaware that Milly had the intention of returning the jacket to his house. "Milly!" He called to her, getting her attention instantly. She turned around to see him running towards her, which only worsened her mood. "Milly, what's the matter?" He asked as soon as he caught up to her.

"I heard what you said about the jacket." She explained. "So I was going to your house to return it."

"You...You were?"

"Yeah. Django, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed that this was a present for me. Then again, I had no idea that you had an aunt named Milly."

"It's a different spelling."

"Oh, that explains it. Anyway," She proceeded to take the jacket off and hand it back to him. "Here. I'm sorry. I hope your aunt likes it as a birthday present."

Django was stunned as he took the jacket. He wasn't expecting her to just give him the jacket back. But he could see in her eyes that she understood that it wasn't really her jacket to take. But in a surprising turn of events, Django decided to allow Milly to keep the jacket.

"You know what? You take it." He said, handing it back to her.

"R-Really?" Milly replied, seeming completely stunned at this move. She was actually hesitant to take the jacket at first. "No, I-I couldn't. It's not really mine."

"It's OK. Besides, you look way better in it than my aunt would ever."

"You'd just give me this?"

"Sure. We're friends here, and it's the least I could do."

Milly took the jacket from Django, and slowly put it on, realizing that he was probably right about that statement. "Aww, thank you, Django." She shouted instantly and reached over to hug him, flattered at the prospect of being able to keep the jacket. "And you're right. I do look good in it. But, then, what are you going to get your aunt for her birthday?"

"I have some money left over. I'm sure I can scrounge up something."

"Django, I can't thank you enough for this."

"Oh, come on. Stop. You're making me blush." Django replied, actually blushing as Milly went to hug him again.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was just completing his evil scheme, a giant laser beam that eliminated colors, and was just about fed up of waiting for his nemesis to show up. "Ugh! Where is Perry the Platypus?" He asked angrily, checking his watch. "He's over 3 hours late!"

"Why are you even waiting for him, anyway?" Hit assistant, Norm, asked.

"Because, Norm, being evil isn't fun without somebody to try and foil your plans."

"Even when he always wins?"

"Oh, shut up, Norm. Anyway, I can't afford to wait any longer. I guess Perry the Platypus will just have to sit on this one. And now, with my new rainbow 2000-inator, I shall erase all colors in existence and make the Tri-State Area boring and unappealing!" He fired up his machine and sat back, ready for it to fire. But just as it was about to, it started malfunctioning. "Uh oh. Not good. I probably should've waited for this thing to load up properly. Ugh, curse you poor planning skills!" And then, when it did fire, it only fired one laser, which was aimed right at...

* * *

What do you think? None other than Milly's red jacket. Before her and Django's very eyes, the color of the jacket dispatched, and it was left with a very boring, dull gray color. "Hey, what happened to the jacket?" Milly asked, dismayed at the fact that the color from the jacket was gone.

"It looks like the color just vanished into thin air! But how...?"

"I don't know. But it seems like there are a lot of weird things happening to us lately."

"Well what do you expect? Our best friend has a triangle for a head! Everything he and Ferb do is weird." Django replied, as the two took hands and shared a laugh as he walked her back home.

**End of Episode 41a!**

**Next Time: Phineas & Ferb attempt to help Irving & Albert cease their constant bickering with each other while their parents are away. Meanwhile, Candace helps Kurt recover and old family possession before his parents arrive home.**

**Expected Update: It's going to take at least a couple of weeks. Between this, my other fic, and schoolwork, I'm completely bushed.**

**A/N: I'm thinking about changing the name of Candace's new love interest from Kurt to Jesse. See, originally, I was basing the character off of Kendall Schmidt of "Big Time Rush", but then I decided that it was a bad idea. Thoughts?**


	51. 41b: Brotherly Love

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 41b: Brotherly Love**

**Episode Summary: Irving and Albert are fighting more than ever, so Phineas & Ferb step in to settle their differences before their parents get home. Meanwhile, Candace helps Kurt find an old family air-loom that goes back to the 1800's.**

**A/N: Yes, Kurt's name will be staying as it is. But I still prefer the name "Jesse".**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined brightly down on Danville as another bright and sunny day approached. Phineas and Ferb were just awaking from their slumber, prepared to go out and venture the world. "Ah, it sure is a beautiful morning, isn't it?" Phineas, in a plucky mood as always, asked Ferb, who replied with a thumbs up. "Yep, I sure can't wait to get out there and smell the fresh air-" His optimistic speech was interrupted when his cellphone rang. He reached over to his dresser and opened it. "Hello? Oh, hey Isabella!" He turned to Ferb. "It's Isabella. She calls me every morning whenever she's not sleeping over." (Remember, **The Talk**) "So, what'cha doin'?"

Ferb sighed and proceeded to get dressed. He didn't mind it when Phineas talked about Isabella. In fact, he was practically overjoyed for him, since it took him so long to figure out she had a crush on him in the first place.

Once both boys were dressed and had their breakfast, they ran outside to begin their daily project, and just in time, as they met up with Isabella, who, as usual, greeted Phineas with a big hug and a wet kiss. Soon enough, they were joined by their pals Buford and Baljeet, and soon after, Irving, & his brother, Albert, who were at each other's throats for some reason. They came into the picture, shouting at each other.

"Hey guys!" Phineas greeted them warmly, but failed to get their attention. "Guys?" He couldn't help but notice that Albert and Irving were fighting amongst themselves. "Hey!" Phineas shouted, finally getting their attention.

"Oh, look, Irving, it's your dorito shaped friend." Albert said to Irving angrily, hurting Phineas's feelings and angering Isabella.

"Hey, you take that back!" Isabella shouted, holding Phineas tightly, ready to strike at Albert to defend her future husband.

"You stay out of this, girlie!"

"Yeah, Isabella. This is _our_ fight." Irving responded.

"What are you guys fighting about anyway?"

"Mr. "Truth Detector" here thinks you guys aren't all that."

"I thought we already solved this problem." Baljeet commented.

"I thought so, too. But after I told him the story about how you guys traveled to different dimensions**, (****A/N: I'm referencing one of my earlier chapters, not the upcoming TV movie)** he laughed and said that not only was it physically and scientifically impossible to do so, but he also said that you guys were nothing more than a bunch of hoaxes and frauds."

"He said that?"

"Because it's true. Everything you guys have made has either disappeared or been destroyed, and I have yet to see you guys travel to different dimensions." Albert smirked.

"You're never around when we're doing stuff."

"Did I _ask _you, dorito?"

"Hey, keep it up, bucko, if you want a black eye!" Isabella shouted.

"Isabella, Albert, Irving, calm down! Getting angry like this won't solve any of your problems." Phineas replied, getting the three kids to back off temporarily. "Now, Albert, Irving, why don't we help you work out your problems?"

"I don't know. Can you?" Irving asked.

"Sure. Ferb and I have had our own share of disagreements."

"Really? I can't remember seeing you two ever fighting. About anything." Isabella asked.

"We do it on our off-time. Now come on, guys. Let's bring two brothers back together."

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the house, Candace had just finished getting dressed and was prepared to spend her day with her friends, when all of a sudden, her cellphone rang. "Hello?"

_"Hey, Candace."_

"Oh, hi Kurtis." She blushed and giggled. "What'cha doin'?"

"_Listen, I need your help. Would you mind coming over right away?"_

"Uh, sure. Right away." She said quickly, hanging up her phone. At first, she simply believed that he was calling for her so they could "have fun". "Ooh, he sounded serious. I wonder what could be so urgent?" Her tone quickly became sarcastic as she broke out into laughter again, before getting herself together and heading out.

She rushed over as quickly as possible, wasting no time in her efforts to get there. She knocked vigorously on his door, and he answered quickly. "Candace! Hi, I didn't expect you to get here so quickly."

"Well, when it comes to spending time with you, I don't miss a beat."

"What are you talking about?"

"You told me to come over right away, didn't you?"

"Yes, because I lost something valuable and I need some help finding it."

"Oh. Oh, you were...serious about that." Candace suddenly blushed, feeling embarrassed over her original thoughts. "Sorry."

"Nah, that's alright. It happened a lot with my past girlfriends. Anyway, I really need your help. I was upstairs in my mom's room...when I wasn't supposed to be...and I was playing with this doll that she had on her dresser."

"What kind of doll was it?"

"It's an 1895 Doll with Dog Skin Clothing. Extremely rare. It's not in great shape, but still, it could easily be worth up to $50,000 in today's economy."

"50 G's? Oh my gosh, why does your mom still have it? Why doesn't she sell it?"

"Actually, she is. A guy who's known for collecting rare, 19th century artifacts is coming over tonight to see the doll, and she's planning on selling it. The guy's planning to pay her $30,000 for it. So I need to find it and put it back on her shelf before they come home tonight, or I'm toast."

"Well, when you put it that way, of course I'd be willing to help you."

"Great. Here, I have a picture of it." He took out a picture of the old Doll with Dog Skin Clothing that he was referring to. It appeared to be visibly ragged, like it had been around for years. In addition, there was a small, red stain on the jacket.

"Wow, it really looks ancient. Hey, what's that red stain on the jacket? Is that...ketchup?"

"No. That's blood. I'd rather not talk about that."

"By the way...where are your parents? And your siblings?"

"My brothers & sister are at a sleepaway camp for the summer, and my parents went shopping for the day. Why?"

"No reason. I just thought I'd get to meet them, since, you know, we _are_ seeing each other...sort of."

"Yeah, don't rush it."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb were about to get their hands dirty, dealing with Irving & Albert's constant bickering. They recreated a therapist's office in their backyard, and sat the two down opposite each other, so they wouldn't get at each other's throats. "OK Irving, Albert, what seems to be the problem?"

"I'll tell you what the problem is." Irving replied quickly and angrily. "_This_ guy..." Referring to Albert. "is so stuck up that he can't even see what incredible inventors you and Ferb are. He says that all of your inventions and adventures have been complete lies."

"I see. And Albert, what do _you_ think the problem is?" Phineas asked Albert.

"The problem is simple, dorito. _You_ and your brother are frauds."

"What are you talking about?"

"In the five years you guys have been doing crazy, wacky projects I have never, ever seen one of them. Never. Not one."

"What about that giant building that went all the way to the moon?"

Albert scoffed angrily. "That couldn't have been you guys. It was too impressive and not at all childish. Plus, there's no way at all you would be able to construct something as tall as that in less than 12 hours."

"But we did. Honest. You can even ask our sister, Candace."

"Who? You mean your bratty, attention-grabbing, red-headed sister?" He scoffed again. "Please. I can't believe your're even talking to her after all the abuse she put you guys through. She's nothing but a brat."

"Dude, where you not around for the first 50 episodes? She's changed!" Irving shouted.

"Yeah. Candace isn't the same girl she used to be. She's a lot more relaxed and laid-back now." Phineas explained. "She doesn't spend her days obsessing about Ferb and I while we do our crazy summer projects...which, by the way, are real!"

"Fine. If they are so real, then do something right now for me. Build something incredible that no other man would be able to build."

"Phineas and Ferb shouldn't have to prove anything to you!" Irving shouted. "It is not their fault that their inventions tend to disappear almost all the time."

"Why don't you guys build something that lasts through the night and then maybe I'll believe you." Albert blurted.

"Alright then, Albert. We accept your challenge. On one condition: after we do this, you and Irving have to stop your constant quarrellings with each other. If you keep fighting so much, you guys will end up hating each other."

"Phineas, don't be so over-dramatic. That's just how we show we care about each other." Irving explained.

"Yeah, but if you keep arguing so much, the caring's gonna go away eventually. That almost happened with me and Candace, and I won't let it happen to you guys, too. So let's get to work, everybody!"

So Phineas, Ferb & their friends got to work on building something that would impress Albert. Of course, everybody was at work except for Albert, who decided to simply kick back and watch the boys do their work, and then gloat about it when it disappears. Albert's newly stuck-up, arrogant attitude, compared to his old one, was beginning to get on everybody's nerves, especially Irving. Albert had never acted in such a manner before, and usually, his arrogance was replaced with ignorance. (there _is_ a difference, I'm sure)

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace had her work cut out for her. As she and Kurt tore through his house, desperately looking for an 1800's doll that could easily be worth up to $50,000, she couldn't help but think of the possible scenarios that would occur if she did find it or if she didn't find it. "Find anything?" She shouted to Kurt, who was in another room, trying to find the doll.

"No!" He called, his voice only barely passing through. "You?"

"Nope!" She yelled back. "I'm going to check the bathrooms!" She rushed out of the room and down the hall til she could find a bathroom, where she literally searched every single square inch of the bathroom, and there was not one trace of the doll anywhere. "Darn it! Nothing!" She raced out and met up with Kurt in the middle of the hall. "I couldn't find it anywhere."

"Me neither."

"Are you sure it's even here? Maybe your mom took it with her predicting that an event like this would happen."

"No, I'm telling you. I saw it on her dresser, I wanted to get a better look of it, I put it down to get a sandwich, and now it's gone. Mom even told me to guard it and keep it safe until she and the others returned."

"Don't worry, Kurt. I promise you I am going to stay here and help you until we find that doll."

"Aw, thanks, Candace. That means a lot."

"You're welcome. Now, where else could it be? Hey, do you happen to have any pets? Like a dog, or something?"

"Dog?" Kurt gasped suddenly. "Oh, man! Sebastian!"

"Who?"

"Sebastian, our neighbor's bulldog. We're watching him for them while they're away. He was in my parents' room earlier, and he caused a bit of a rucus, knocking some stuff down and all that. He can get on my parents' nerves sometimes, but he's so lovable."

Kurt took Candace outside to his backyard to show him where the neighbor's pet, Sebastian, was staying. There was a small doghouse that was built especially for him. "Alright, here he is. Sebastian!" Kurt called, whistling in order to get his attention. "Here, boy!" Quietly and slowly, the dog stepped out of his doghouse, holding - what else? - the doll in its mouth. The doll appeared to have substantial damage to it. "Oh no, Sebastian! What did you do?"

The dog barked angrily and started growling, slowly stepping towards them and dropping the doll.

"He seems angry." Candace said.

"He's not the friendliest dog around. But once he warms up to you, he's a teddy bear."

"So I'm guessing he hasn't warmed up to you yet, huh?"

"No, not really. And I don't really think he ever will."

The dog continued to edge closer to them, getting angrier and angrier until finally, he barked loudly and charged at them, causing them both to scream and run back into the house to avoid any carnage from the dog. They tried to run in every single room to avoid the dog's wrath, but each time, the dog not only chased them out, but also manged to cause a little damage in each room as well.

After the speeding mutt chased Candace & Kurt into each room at least once, the two teens finally grew weary and stopped in the kitchen to get a beverage. Unfortunately, the dog had found them, and was able to drive them into a corner. Foaming at the moment, it prepared to strike at them.

"Gee, I-I never thought it would end this way." Candace stuttered. "Huddled in a kitchen corner in the arms of a bad boy with a savaging bulldog ready to kill us."

"Yeah, I always thought I'd get run over by a guy driving a Prius." Kurt remarked, which caused Candace to give a confused stare at him. "What? Have you seen those cars? They are so small!"

The dog finally gave in and charged at them, barking loudly. Candace, relying on pure instinct, lifted her leg and kicked the dog in the chin. The resulting kick was very light, but to the dog, it felt like he had just been hit with a crane. The dog ran out of the kitchen, whimpering. Having realized what she had done, Candace opened her tightly shut eyes, as did Kurt. "Wow...he's gone." Candace said quietly.

"Yeah. Thank goodness I was worried he was about to go-oh no!" Kurt gasped, having almost forgotten about the doll the dog had dropped. "The doll!" He rushed outside to grab the doll, and when he brought it inside, he and Candace could see that the damage had already been done. "Oh man, that dog did a number on this."

"You mean it _wasn't_ supposed to look like that before?" Candace joked; unfortunately, he wasn't in a mood for jokes.

"This isn't funny, Candace. If my parents come home and they see this, they'll know that I've been in their room, and if they find out that I've been in their room, they'll kill me!" As in on cue, the kitchen phone soon started ringing. Kurt answered it quickly. "Hello?"

"_Kurt, it's your mother."_

"Mom! Um, hi. What a nice surprise."

"_Yes, well, we're on our way home. We just met up with the guy who's planning to buy the doll."_

"Oh, uh, OK."

_"We'll be back in about a half hour. Love you."_

"Love you two, Mom." He quickly hung up the phone and turned to Candace, and then screamed loudly. "My parents and that guy who's planning to buy the doll will be home in less than a half hour! We gotta fix that thing and quick."

"Don't worry," Candace assured him. "I'll stay and help you fix that doll."

"Ah, thanks, Candace. If we work together, we can definitely fix this thing up to...at least a respectable appearance. If we can't, though, it's your fault."

"Wait, what?"

"Nevermind. Let's just go."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of the gang were busy working on a contraption so amazing that it would put an end to Albert's smug attitude. Of course, he refused to take part in it, and was missing out on the fun of the creation.

"What are you guys building, anyway?" Albert asked.

"We're going to built a device that can turn anything into gold." Phineas replied proudly, moving aside to show Albert their creation, which was a small cannon-like laser that could shoot a beam turning anything it touches.

"Oh, whoopee. You're going to end our economic crisis...not! That thing can't turn anything into gold."

"Oh really? Well, watch and learn." Phineas pressed a button on his device, and instantly, it shot out a laser beam that turned the nearest object, in this case a rock, into solid gold. "Ha? What do you think, Albert?" Phineas showed-off his and Ferb's creation. "A solid gold rock."

Albert blinked twice, making certain that his eyes were not playing tricks on him. But when he rubbed his eyes completely, the golden rock was still there. "Are my eyes playing tricks on me?"

"No, no they're not. That's an actual solid gold rock you are looking are." Ferb replied, maintaining a cool and calm attitude, not even bothering to match Albert's smug and arrogant attitude.

"Well, I-I bet you can't do that again!" Albert was beginning to get flustered.

"Just admit it, Albert!" Irving shouted, having had just about enough of his brother's attitude. "Phineas and Ferb _are_ who they say they are, and they _can_ do the impossible. I mean, the proof's right there!"

"I bet it was just a fluke. Do it again."

"OK." Phineas turned the ray on Albert and fired quickly, turning Albert into solid gold himself. Contrary to what viewers (readers) may believe, Albert was not actually turned to stone gold, his color scheme was simply changed to gold. Regardless, Albert was impressed, impressed enough to get him to drop (at least temporarily) his new attitude which seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Whoa! I'm...I'm gold! I've been turned into gold." He shouted. "I'm gold! Whoo hoo!" He was so excited to look like an actual gold statue (you know, like the ones you see in New York City). He couldn't help himself, and soon, he was running down the street, expressing his excitement. The others looked on as they could faintly hear his shouting as he disappeared out of sight.

"Well, glad to see he's excited." Phineas commented.

"At least he is finally gone." Baljeet responded.

"Yeah, I was getting pretty sick of his obnoxious attitude." Irving agreed. "I wonder what was making him act so obnoxious anyway."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, deep into town, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was having trouble of his own. His pet, Ezekiel, he gotten loose from its cage, and he was wrecking everything in Doofenshmirtz's lair.

"Ezekiel, stop it! S-Stop!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, as Ezekiel continued to run rabid around the lair. "You're ruining everything!" Ezekiel ran over to the windows, where one of his old inventions was sitting; Ezekiel bumped into it and turned it on, causing it to fire once out the window. "Oh no! He turned on my old Misbehave-inator!"

And sure enough, the Misbehave-inator's blast hit Albert as he was running rapid down the street. The blast stunned him and knocked him down to the ground. When he came to, his personality was back to the way it was before he was hit the first time. He looked at his clothes and realized he was still gold-colored, although he did not remember anything that had transpired throughout the course of the day. "Hey, what happened? Why am I covered in gold paint?" He asked himself.

Back upstairs, Doofenshmirtz continued to chase his pet around. "Ezekiel, for the last time, stop! I command you! I am your master, and you will -" Ezekiel bumped into another one of Doofenshmirtz's inventions. This one was a small spherical device that began glowing white. "Oh no...my Reset-inator. Not good."

The glow grew brighter and brighter. until finally, the glow began expanding, soon covering ever single piece of the Tri-State Area (and the universe, actually). The invention was designed to turn back time a pre-determined amount of time, so as to "re-do" any unforeseen and/or embarrassing mistakes. This time around, the Reset-inator was set to turn back time approximately 4 hours, which would put everybody right at the beginning of Phineas and Ferb's day.

* * *

Once the light cleared, time had reversed itself 4 hours, putting Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of them back at the beginning of their day. "Hey, what happened?" Phineas asked. "What happened to our invention?"

"It appears as if time has somehow reversed itself and put everybody back at the beginning of the day." Ferb replied, with everybody agreeing.

"Boy, this has certainly been one weird day." Phineas checked his watch. "And according to my watch, it's barely even begun. So...now what do we do? Anybody else have an idea?" He exchanged looks with everybody, who either shook their heads or shrugged. "No? Not a single idea? Huh, we must be running out. We'll have to think of some soon before we're completely dry. Come on, gang. We have daylight to burn."

* * *

**During The Credits**

_Later that night..._

After a long, stressful day, Kurt's family had returned home, along with the guy who was planning to buy the doll from them. The husky, overweight 40-year old with a whiskers-like beard, wearing a light blue, barely-fitting shirt, and too-short-for-him gray sweatpants, studied the doll very carefully for what seemed like forever, before finally piping up.

"I'll take it!" He shouted.

"You will?" Kurt's mother shouted, astonished that he would actually want to buy it.

"Of course. It's in excellent condition. The dog skin actually looks like dog skin, the belt positioning is perfect...it actually looks like a pioneer. I'd be stupid _not_ to buy it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out money, and handed it to Kurt's father.

"Oh thank you so much. Trust me, you're gonna love it as much as I - thirty bucks?" She shrieked in horror, assuming that she had just been duped. "But...But you said thirty thousand."

"No way. Don't try that on me. _I_ said thirty. _You_ said thirty thousand."

"No, you moron, we were talking about a price, and you said thirty-"

"And then _you_ interrupted me and said "_thirty thousand_. Look, this thing _is_ in perfect condition, but that doesn't mean that it's worth very much. If this were any more ragged, I wouldn't even pay you 30 cents for this thing! Good day to you, sir." He stood up and proceeded to leave.

"But-"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" He screamed as he slammed the door behind him. The family all stood there for a moment, absolutely silent. They were not prepared for whatever reaction Kurt's mother had in store for them. She was so dismayed and shocked that the resulting incident left her for a loss of words. So, the family, wishing not to anger her more, decided to leave her alone to mull over what had just taken place.

Outside, the man took one good look at the doll he had just purchased. After a long moment of simple observations, he threw it off to the side, disgusted with what he saw. "A pioneers doll. Worst. Purchase. Ever."

**End of Episode 41b!**

**Next Time: A routine check-up appointment leads to a startling revelation that puts the bond between brothers to the test.**

**Expected Update: Don't expect anything until at least February 1st. Sorry.**


	52. 42: No Sugar, Sugarplum

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 42: No Sugar, Sugarplum (Part 1)**

**Episode Summary: A routine check-up for Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella takes a turn down South when results come back that reveal a shocking secret about Ferb. Meanwhile, Phineas begins to question the terms of his relationship with Isabella when he discovers that he weighs more than her or Ferb, Jeremy gets a new girlfriend and mocks Candace for it, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz is in need of a kidney transplant. **

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun began to rise over the Tri-State Area, and everybody was still sleeping peacefully in their respective beds, including Phineas & Ferb (and Isabella, of course). Of course, this wouldn't be for long. The clock read 6:59 AM, and at that moment, Phineas awakened, and readied to shut his alarm clock off, which he did promptly when it went off. "Ha, beat you to it, buddy." He said to himself as he shut the alarm off. The resulting sound, however, was enough to awaken his stepbrother, and his girlfriend, who was snuggling nicely in his bed with him.

"Aw, do you have to wake up this early?" Isabella whined playfully, kissing him good morning and embracing him. "You know how I don't like you to wake up this early because of your health."

"Isabella, I'm fine." He replied playfully. "Besides, today, Ferb and I have our annual check-up. We have to be out of this house by 8:30. It's a long drive into town, you know."

"Hey, that works out great, then."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because it just so happens that I have my physical examination today as well."

"Really? Are you just saying that or is it really true?"

"Phineas, that's something I wouldn't make up. Do you really think I would just say anything just to be with you? On second thought, don't answer that." She leaned in and kissed him again and then proceeded to jump out of bed and sneak back to her house before she was busted by her mom, leaving Phineas & Ferb to get themselves dressed and ready for their checkup.

After eating some breakfast, getting dressed, and spending some time relaxing, Phineas and Ferb went off to their annual check-up, while being driven by their mom & dad. Candace was dropped off at Stacy's house, and of course, they took Perry along with them. A few moments later, they were joined again by Vivian & Isabella. Coincidentally, all three had an appointment for the same time with the exact same doctor. Apparently, that can be done in Danville.

Their appointments were brief and swift, though it did require the three kids to get a physical exam.

"They all entered the doctor's office and were greeted with a warm smile by their doctor. "Ah, The Flynn-Fletchers and Garcia-Shapiros. How nice to see you." Dr. Hartman (Yes, from Family Guy) said with a smile. "Wait a minute. I have you _both_ scheduled for now?" He checked his clipboard for a brief moment, then groaned, realizing that he indeed had two appointments scheduled for the same time. "Oh man, how I do hate my nurse. Oh well, let's get to it."

He instructed Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella to take off their shoes and step onto the scale that was located near the wall. The scale would help Dr. Hartman measure their height and their weight. Phineas went first. "OK, Phineas, just step on right here, and stand up straight against the wall." A brief moment passed while Dr. Hartman took his measurements. "OK, 4'4", 86 pounds. Just a bit on the hefty side, but I don't see any concerns for you." Phineas stepped down and Ferb stepped up. "4'7", 81 pounds. Boy, you sure are going to be tall when you hit puberty." Ferb stepped down, and now it was Isabella's turn to get her measurements. After the incident that had occurred at the beginning of the summer, she had her concerns that it would affect her in the long run. "4'6", 70 pounds. That little health scare you had earlier this summer didn't affect you as much as I feared. You've had quite a growth spurt."

She stepped off the scale and walked over to Phineas to hug him. Phineas, however, was not as open to the hug as she was hoping. "Phineas, are you OK?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He lied. In actuality, he was rather surprised to find out that among the three of them, he was the heaviest and the shortest. Although he was only heavier by a few pounds and shorter by just a few inches, it seemed to affect Phineas a lot, as it suddenly made him self-conscious about himself.

"OK, now that that's done with, I would like to perform a few tests on you kids just to make sure that there are no lingering health problems in them."

The parents were instructed by Dr. Hartman to leave the room so he could performs several tests on the kids. After about an hour or so of testing, he released the kids into the hall to give the parents a full report. "So doctor, how did it go?" Vivian asked. "Is my daughter healthy?"

"All three of these children are healthy and happy." Dr. Hartman replied optimistically. "But, uh..."

"What is it?" Lawrence asked.

"Mr. Fletcher, can I speak to you privately for a moment?"

"What's the matter?"

"Is something wrong with Ferb?" Linda asked. "Because if there is, you don't have to keep it from us. We're all in this together. So just come on out with it."

"Are you sure? This might be difficult for you to handle. But, OK then." Dr. Hartman took in a deep breath and looked dead center at each and every one of them. "I ran some tests on Ferb and the results are...a bit disturbing. I've discovered that his pancreas isn't functioning properly."

"And what does that mean?" Phineas asked.

"Well, the pancreas is used to produce insulin, a chemical that is used to break down sugar molecules that enter the body. When the pancreas produces little or no insulin at all, that means that it isn't working properly. It's a condition that is known as Diabetes. Your brother is lucky. He only has Type 1 Diabetes. When a person has Type 2 Diabetes, it means that his body's cells would be unresponsive to the insulin produced by his pancreas."

"What does this mean? Is Ferb going to be OK?" Linda asked rather frantically.

"Calm down, Mrs. Flynn. This isn't something to get worked up over. This _is_ treatable." Dr. Hartman handed her a needle and some vials full of insulin. "He'll need to eject insulin manually into himself so the sugar in his body can be broken down. Oh, and here." He handed her a device that would allow them to keep track of Ferb's blood sugar level. "Use this to keep track of his blood sugar level. If it gets too high, he'll have to use the insulin immediately. If it gets too low, make sure he eats something that has a lot of sugar in it to return it to normal. I'll fax over some paperwok to you later today so you can get an idea of what his normal levels should be."

"And other than that, he's fine?" Isabella prompted.

"Perfectly fine."

"Well, thank you, Dr. Hartman, for everything." Linda responded after calming down. She and Lawrence left with Phineas & Ferb, while Vivian left with Isabella to return home. Before Phineas & Ferb were out of the office, Phineas realized that something was missing.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Meanwhile, while Candace and Stacy were up in the latter's room, enjoying themselves, talking about boys and their upcoming senior year, there was a knock at the front door. Dr. Hirano, Stacy's mother, answered it. "Stacy!" She called up to her daughter. "You have a visitor."

"Who could that be?" Candace asked.

"I don't know. I'm not expecting any other company today."

So both girls ventured downstairs to the front door to see just who was at the door. The two of them were shocked and dismayed to see that it was none other than their ex-boyfriend, Jeremy Johnson, holding hands with a girl who appeared to be more beautiful than both of them combined, and older. "Hello ladies." Jeremy said smugly.

"Jeremy? What are _you_ doing here?" Candace growled angrily at her former boyfriend, the boy that not only broke her heart, but also insulted her while doing so.

"Just thought I'd let you two lovely ladies..." He exaggerated the last two words of that sentence rather arrogantly. He still held a strong grudge against both Stacy and Candace, and any chance he got to insult them or humiliate them, he promised he would do so. "...be the first ones to meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Pam."

"Uh, hi." Stacy decided to be nice to her and say hello to her.

"Pay no attention to these two, Pam. They're a bad influence. Especially Candace."

"I've heard a lot about you." Pam spoke up in a very high and nagging-like voice (aka a voice similar to **Sonny With a Chance's Tiffany Thorton**), turning to Stacy, genuinely believing that she was Candace. "A little respect for your brothers isn't a lot to ask for. There are some people out there who don't even have siblings to care about them. You need to stop taking them for granted, you miserable-"

"Uh, Pam, _that's_ Candace." Jeremy interrupted, pointing Pam in the direction of Candace.

"Oh. Now it makes sense why he broke up with you." Pam said sternly to her. "You're not that pretty at all."

"That's what I said!" Jeremy responded, angering Candace.

"Hey! I'll have you two know that there's actually a boy who thinks I'm very beautiful. His name is Kurt, and he likes me for who I am. And just so you know, I no longer obsess over my brothers."

"Well, good for you."

"Pam, don't fall for her sweet, innocent charm. She's still as paranoid and uptight as she's ever been." Jeremy said ignorantly.

"You're wrong, Jeremy." Stacy shouted, ready and willing to defend her best friend at any cost. "Candace has changed."

"Prove it."

"She doesn't have to prove anything to you."

"Well, then maybe I should ask this new friend of yours. What did you say his name was?

"His name is Kurt, and fine. You do that. He's going to tell you exactly what Stacy and I just told you."

"I doubt it. Come on, Pam. Let's go somewhere that's not contaminated with the stench of paranoia." Jeremy and Pam turned around quickly and slammed the door behind them as they left to go somewhere else, leaving a very angry Candace and Stacy behind them.

"Did he just say we smell?" Stacy asked, scratching her head in confusion.

"Ooh, that little gold-digger! He's going to pay for this. I'll make sure of it!" Candace's tone had changed to one of deceit and rage.

"Whoa, girl. Easy. He's playing us. He wants you to get angry and paranoid, and that's only going to prove his point."

"You're right, Stacy. But what can I do?"

"That's just it. We shouldn't do anything. If we go after him, that'll only give him more ammunition to use to degrade you and ruin the good image you've been trying to make for yourself. It's better if we just let it go and leave him alone. Maybe he'll get tired of bagging on us and just leave us alone."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

Meanwhile, across town, Perry was wandering aimlessly around the streets, having escaped from the clutches of the doctor's office due to an internal fear of needles. Without warning, his watch went off, with his boss on the other line.

"Agent P, we have a situation. It's Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He's not up to anything else or anything, but...OK, here's the problem. Our sources have just told us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz, well...he's in need of a kidney transplant." Perry's eyes went wide open upon hearing the devastating news that his nemesis was in need of medical surgery. "It isn't too serious at this point, but one of his kidneys isn't working properly and it needs to be replaced with a fresh one." Perry was going to shut off his watch, assuming that he was going to be asked to give up one of his own kidneys. "No, no, no, Agent P! Settle down. I'm not asking you to give up one of your kidneys. Besides, you're not a match."

"Now, through intense research, we have discovered that there are three people who are close to him that are perfect matches for him. His daughter, Vanessa, his ex-wife, Charlene, and..." He hesitated to say the final match, as they both knew that Doofenshmirtz's family life was not normal. "His mother, Mrs. Doofenshmirtz. Agent P, this is a very serious case. I need you to go over to his lair and see if he's alright, and then maybe you can convince one of these three to donate one of their kidneys to him. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry hesitantly saluted his boss and then raced off to his nemesis' evil lair, in the hopes that it was not too late to get him any help for his condition.

* * *

Back at home, after Phineas and Ferb had returned home, Phineas decided to lock himself up in the bathroom to get a good, hard look at himself. He got up on one of the step stools that was in there, and centered himself right in the middle of the mirror. He took his shirt off slowly to reveal his torso, and grabbed his stomach. He was extremely displeased with the fact that it was hanging out slightly over his shorts.

"Man, I look horrible." He said to himself. Even though he only looked a little bit pudgy, to him, he felt like a real fatty because despite it all, he was heavier than his stepbrother and his girlfriend. "Why is it that I'm the shortest between my stepbrother and Isabella and yet _I'm_ the heaviest?" He turned himself around to see how his backside looked. "Oh my gosh, Isabella's right. I _do_ have a lot of "junk in my trunk"." He took a good look at his own rear, and was disgusted with how it looked in his blue shorts. "Now I understand where these sudden outbursts from her stem from. This is crazy. I don't want to grow up a fatty."

"Don't you think you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion?" A voice said out of the blue. Phineas looked to both of his sides to see where the noise was coming from, until finally, he saw, on his right shoulder, a white dog with a red collar, standing on two legs. (AKA, Brian from Family Guy) "You don't look heavy to me."

"W-W-Who the heck are you?" Phineas asked.

"I'm a visual manifestation of your overstressed subconscious, and I'm representing the "Good" you."

"But you're a dog. I don't look like a dog, do I?"

"No, you look like a potato chip." Another voice said, and this time, the voice was coming from Phineas's left shoulder, and it turned out to be a little baby with a football-shaped head, red overalls, and a yellow shirt. (Aka, Stewie from Family Guy) "More specifically, a dorito."

"And you're supposed to be the "Bad" me?"

"What was your first clue, Einstein? When _he_ showed up first?"

"Listen, kid," Brian began to Phineas. "You're overreacting to this. You don't even look fat. Sure, you might not be the "ideal weight" for a boy your age, but some of that is just baby fat. And besides, with your mother and father's height, you could very well grow up to be 6 feet tall." He looked down and met with a look of anger and confusion coming from Stewie. "What? Have you seen his mom? She may not be able to sing, but she is _tall_, and hot."

"Oh, don't butter it up for him. "Baby Fat". Who the hell believes that these days?" Stewie barked back. "Look, look, Brian, the kid is 10 years old, he's old enough to know when he's fat."

"Shut up, Stewie! He is _not_ fat. He's just a bit chunky, that's all."

"You hear the things his girlfriend says to him. She has no respect for him because he's so fat!" He turned to Phineas. "I don't know how you put up with it!"

"Well, s-she's not doing it to insult me. She says she thinks my butt is really cute."

"_And_ huge! Dude, come on, face it. You're fat. And if you keep going like this, you're only going to get fatter."

"No he's not! I bet you he's going to grow up to be a nice, slim, lean, athletic man." Brian replied angrily to Stewie. "If that's what he wants to do."

"Yeah, well, we can't watch him grow up. We've only got 22 minutes."

"You know what, Stewie? You're a jerk." Brian turned to Phineas. "Look, kid, you don't need to do anything about your weight. You're fine just the way you are and that girl loves you just the way you are."

"B.S, Brian." Stewie turned to Phineas. "Kid, how long are you going to let her talk to you the way she does? She constantly remarks to you about your posterior. Obviously, she's trying to tell you something."

"I still say she's not trying to hurt me. But, I really don't like the fact that I'm the heaviest out of the three _and_ the shortest. A boy my age and height should have an ideal weight of about 75 pounds, and I'm 11 pounds heavier than that. Plus, after doing some research, I was able to figure out that I'm 17% body fat, which means I'm 15 pounds of fat."

"Like I said, it's baby fat. Besides, body fat is not necessarily a bad thing." Brian explained. "It regulates body temperature, cushions & protects body organs & tissue, and it's your main source for energy storage. And on top of that, those measurements are meant for adults, not for little kids."

"You're really going to believe that bologna?" Stewie hissed at Brian, and then turned to Phineas again. "Get a clue and start dropping those extra pounds. You'll be happy you do." He snapped his fingers with his right hand and then disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Brian tried to follow suit by snapping his fingers on the left hand, only to accidentally set himself on fire.

While he was on fire, Stewie poofed back onto Phineas's shoulder. "You're supposed to snap with your right hand."

"Right, sorry." Brian snapped his fingers, this time on the right hand, and then vanished, like Stewie, leaving Phineas to dwell on these thoughts himself. He took another good look at himself, and absolutely hated the way his stomach looked.

"Look at me. I'm chubby." He said quietly. "Maybe that little baby was right. Maybe I _am _fat, and maybe that's why Isabella always say those things about my butt. I've gotta do something about this. I have to start losing weight and fast. There's only a few weeks left of Summer, and I've got 15 pounds to lose to get rid of this fat."

He rushed out of the bathroom past his bedroom, where Ferb was busy injecting himself with his insulin, and rushed over to the computer in the living room to do some research. "Let's see..." He typed in some stuff into the computer and found a page that explained (vaguely) the concept of weight loss. "A calorie is a unit of energy used typically to discuss weight loss. Every item and quantity of food has a predetermined number of calories, and a calorie is the amount of energy needed to raise the temperature of 1 kilogram of water 1 degree Celsius. When a person performs a type of exercise, he/she burns calories depending on the intensity and the duration and the type of exercise performed. Weight loss is initiated when the number of calories a person burns from exercise exceeds the number of calories consumed by a person in a day. Vise-versa, weight gain is initiated when the number of calories consumed exceeds the number burned."

"So, basically," He said to himself. "The less I eat and the more I exercise, the more weight I loss. So, if I cut down my intake of food by a lot, and I increase my exercise a lot, I should be dropping this wait in no time. Then I won't have to look at myself in the mirror and feel pudgy and fat anymore. It's perfect." He continued reading on the screen for more information. "Optimal weight loss is 1-2 pounds per week. A faster rate than that puts you at risk for longterm health problems."

He shut off the computer, having gotten all the information he believed he needed. "One to two pounds per week, huh? That's too slow. I can't afford to do that. There's only a few more weeks until Summer vacation ends and I have to go back to school. If I waste the rest of my vacation trying to lose this weight, I won't get to do all the other things I want to do with my friends. There has to be a way where I can lose weight quickly and not have to waste so much time doing it. I wonder..."

With his mind set on one thing, Phineas raced upstairs and started to work on his latest and greatest invention, not even realizing that Ferb was still in the room.

"What'cha doin'?" Ferb asked him.

"Uh...uh..." Phineas wasn't ready to tell anybody about his plan yet, as he wanted to surprise them when his newer "thinner" body when the time came. "Nothing. I'm just looking for some tools."

"Um, OK..."

"How about you? How are you holding up?" Phineas had almost forgotten about Ferb being diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. He wanted to make sure he could support him in any way possible.

"Me? I'm alright, I suppose. It's not the end of the world for me. Just a mere setback."

"Wow, Ferb. I gotta say, you have a lot of optimism about this. If it were me, I'd probably be freaking out."

"Well, uh..." Ferb was about to go on and tell a story about his family tree, dictating several generations of Diabetes within the family, but then he decided not to "bore" Phineas with the details. "I'm sure you would've been fine."

"Well, if you say so." Phineas smiled and turned back to looking for tools as Ferb silently left the room.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had his own work cut out for him. He rushed over to his nemesis' lair, having just found out that he is in need of a kidney transplant. He scaled the building and sneaked in through an open window to find his nemesis sitting in a recliner chair, drinking hot cocoa made by Norm, with his pet, Ezekiel, cuddled right next to him.

As soon as Perry stepped out of the shadows, Ezekiel opened his eyes and sat up. He growled and began to edge towards Perry, which forced the scientist to hold onto his hood to keep him from attacking him. "Easy boy, easy. There's no need for that." Perry edged closer to Doofenshmirtz. "Hello, Perry the Platypus. I assume you're here because Monogram told you the bad news. Well, I suppose I couldn't hide it forever." He sighed and stood up. "You see, Perry the Platypus, it seems I've been suffering from kidney failure for a couple of months now, and I've only recently noticed. My doctor says that it's very serious and I need a kidney transplant as soon as possible. Luckily, I have three family members who are a match. My daughter, my ex-wife, and..." He shuddered. "My mother."

"I'm not sure, though, if any of them would be willing to give up a kidney for me. I know my mother wouldn't. She hates my guts with a passion. Vanessa might not, she _is_ only 17. That only leaves my ex-wife, Charlene. But I couldn't ask her to do that. It would be a bit...awkward."

"I'd give you _my_ kidney." Norm said, more than willing to do so. "If I had a kidney."

"Thank you, Norm. But I don't think a mechanical kidney would help me in this situation. No, I need a human kidney. I can't ask my family myself, but...but perhaps _you_ could, Perry the Platypus." Perry blinked a few times, visibly confused. "If you disguise yourself as my doctor and convince one of them to donate a kidney, then I'll be back to normal in no time, and then I'll be back to evil!"

Perry gave it a long, hard thought. He was willing to help his nemesis in any way possible, but having to do so because of a kidney problem was on an entirely different level for him. Finally, after long thoughts, he nodded his head and agreed to help him. "Oh, thank you, Perry the Platypus. Wait here." Doofenshmirtz ran into a back room and pulled a slim, black suit with a little cap to go with it, and brought it out, and helped Perry dress himself into it. "Here. I call it the "Transformation Suit". It's connected to your brain through this cute little cap you're wearing. Just picture a person or an object in your mind, and this transformation suit will literally transform you into that shape. Go ahead, try turning yourself into a suitcase."

Perry closed his eyes and concentrated, and soon enough, his shape shifted into that of a luggage. "Aha! It works!" Doofenshmirtz shouted in joy, having discovered that his "invention" (that wasn't actually his) works.

"Of course it works, you imbecile." A voice said from across the room. Doofenshmirtz and Perry turned to face the source of the voice, and saw that it was coming apparently from a talking reptile that was locked up in a cage hanging from the ceiling. "I showed it to you earlier before you unleashed your rabid beast on me and locked me up. It's my invention! I made it fair and square."

"And I stole it fair and square." Doofenshmirtz turned back to Perry. "Ignore him. Good luck, Perry the Platypus. I'm relying on you."

Doofenshmirtz waved goodbye to Perry as he began to leave. But before he did, Perry looked back one more time at Doofenshmirtz, and then, ultimately went back to give him a hug to show his gratitude and appreciation for his trust. "Oh, thank you, Perry the Platypus. This is nice. Of course, you do know we'll be going back to being nemeses when this is behind us, right?" Perry nodded. "OK, Perry, time to go. We can't waste time." Perry let go of Doofenshmirtz's leg, and then raced off out the door to help his nemesis/friend get the help he needed.

When Perry was out of sight, the imprisoned reptile spoke up again. "Do you know how many germs there are on a platypus?"

"Do _you_ know how ugly you look?" Norm piped up, which caused an outbreak of laughter from Doofenshmirtz.

"Ha ha! Good one, Norm."

"I was talking about _you_, sir."

"HA HA! Loser!" The reptile said mockingly, forming his hand in the shape of an "L", for "loser".

* * *

Meanwhile, out in the neighborhood, Candace and Stacy were having their own problems to deal with. After having faced Jeremy and his new girlfriend for the first time, Candace & Stacy decided to head out to the mall to clear their heads. Candace decided to use this opportunity to buy Kurt a gift, something that he would want, but would never get himself.

"All I'm saying is if I can get closer to Kurt than I am now, maybe I could use our relationship to make Jeremy jealous." Candace explained to her best friend.

"What it sounds like to me is that you want Jeremy back." Stacy elaborated.

"What? No, I do not want him back! He broke my heart _and_ insulted me, as well as my family in front of us."

"Then why would you want to stoop down to Jeremy's level and want to make him jealous?"

"So he can feel the same hurt and anguish that I felt when he did what he did to me. Maybe if I put him in his place once and for all, he'll finally leave us alone."

"Who's gonna leave you alone?" A voice behind her spoke. Candace turned around to see that it was her new "boyfriend", Kurt, standing there. "Hey, beautiful."

"Kurtis, hi!" She squealed, delighted to see him, as she rushed into his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to get my skateboard fixed and I figured I'd come say hi to you guys. Is that Jeremy creep you told me about _still_ bothering you?"

"Yes, yes he is. He got himself a new girlfriend and decided to rub it in our faces. He is so obnoxious. I can't believe I didn't see it before."

"Don't worry about it. The important thing is to not let his arrogance get the best of you. That way, he has no power against you."

"I guess you're right. Still, I wish he would at least cool it with his attitude."

"I'm sure after some time passes, he'll cool down. In the meantime, all you should have to worry about is what you're going to be wearing tomorrow, or something of that sorts."

Candace laughed, a heartfelt laugh, knowing that Kurt was trying to make her feel better. "You're a funny man."

"Anyway, if you're not busy later, I'd like to take you out to dinner."

"Oh, that's wonderful. But, I-I can't. Not tonight. My mom called me a little while ago and I found out that my stepbrother, Ferb, has Type I Diabetes."

"What?"

"Candace, when were you going to tell me this?" Stacy shouted, outraged over the stunning revelation.

"I just found out a little while ago, while you were in the bathroom."

"Wow, what awful timing."

"I'm sorry, Kurt." Candace said, turning to her crush. "I would love to go out with you, but I don't think tonight would be the best night. I wanna be there to support Ferb in this troubling time."

"Hey, it's cool. I understand. In fact, the truth is...my little sister has Type I Diabetes, too."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Ever since she was born, she has had it, and it's been really hard to get rid of. You just have to take it one day at a time with it. She's doing well, now, but we're all afraid that it could advance even further. We're worried about her, but Izzy's a fighter."

"I could imagine."

"Anyway, I gotta go. After I'm done here, I have to get a refill on her medicine. See ya." He waved to them as he started leaving to get his skateboard.

"Bye!" Candace and Stacy both waved to him. "Boy, what a day." Candace spoke. "First I find out Ferb has Diabetes, now I find out Kurtis's little sister has Diabetes. Not to mention Jeremy rubbing his new girlfriend in my face."

"Like he said, Candace, if we leave him alone, it'll pass."

"Probably. I just hope he's not the stubborn type."

* * *

Back at home, Phineas had just completed his latest invention, and was ready to test it. "There, finished." He said triumphantly, as he wiped his brow of sweat, and held up his invention in the sunlight. It was a customized version of the "Bodybugg", a device used to help people who want to lose weight keep track of their progress.

Just as Phineas was about to strap it onto his arm, his "good conscience", in the form of Brian Griffin, appeared. "What the hell is that?" Brian asked sternly.

"Oh, this? This is just a device that's going to help me lose this unwanted weight." Phineas replied.

"What? So you're actually going to try to lose weight."

"I have to! I'm sick of Isabella constantly saying things about my butt! I don't want to give her anything to use against me."

"I thought you said she thought it was "Cute"."

"Yeah, til I realized that I was heavier than her. I've gotta do something."

"Well, how's that contraption of yours going to help?"

"I'll show you." He strapped the device onto his upper arm, and turned it on with the press of a button. There was a dial in the dead center of it with different settings in it. "Now that this device is attached to my upper arm, it's connected directly with my muscular system. With this dial, I can force my muscles to respond differently with the exercises I perform depending on the setting, which means that my body will be able to respond to the exercise more quickly and thus produce the desired results are a quicker pace."

"So, basically, you're planning to accelerate your weight loss?"

"That's what he said, man. Don't you listen?" Another voice said, this time, being Stewie, who had just appeared on Phineas's left shoulder. "I gotta say, this is a smart idea of yours, little man."

"No it's not!" Brian shouted and turned back to Phineas. "Kid, don't you understand? Accelerated weight loss is not only unhealthy, but it could cause severe, longterm damage to your insides. Even worse, you could develop eating disorders. Point is, you can't lose weight quickly."

"Those fat people on NBC do it. Those guys lose, like, 20 pounds a week."

"Well, NBC is run by jackasses and immigrants. You can't trust anything they say. Look, I'm just trying to watch out for you."

"But I have to do this. Summer's coming to an end soon, and I can't afford to waste all my Summer days trying to lose weight."

"Well, kid, it looks like you're serious about this. I just want you to know that Stewie and I...well, we're here for you, pal. And we'll help guide you through this difficult and...hopefully short process."

"Yeah, what he said." Stewie barked.

"Wait, you guys are working together now? I thought you were each good and bad me. What happened?"

"We talked it over and..." Brian began. "We both decided that it's not our position to fight. I didn't like the fact that Stewie was pressuring you to do this, but as your good conscience, I need to support it and hopefully, guide you properly through this..."

"I beat him in a staring contest!" Stewie shouted, interrupting him.

"Shut up!" Brian shouted back as the both of them disappeared. Phineas decided that it was time for him to test out his new invention. He hid his device in his shirt sleeve and went downstairs and confronted his parents. "Mom? Dad?"

"What is it, sweetheart?" Linda asked, not noticing Phineas's invention at all. "Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just that...well, after discovering that Ferb has Diabetes, I figured that there are things that I can do to keep myself from getting it, like exercising. So, would you guys mind driving me to the gym so I could...you know, exercise, and stuff?"

Linda and Lawrence both exchanged looks, but then turned back to Phineas. "Sure, son, if that's what you want."

"Thanks. It really means a lot for me to make sure I stay in shape and avoid any health complications." _And to lose this stupid baby fat off of me as quickly as possible. Let's see you try to say anything about me now, Isabella. I dare you!_

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz's Ex-wife's House on a Hill Somewhere!_**

Meanwhile, Perry was quick to target Dr. Doofenshmirtz's ex-wife and daughter first as candidates for his kidney transplant. Disguised as Dr. Hartman, he quietly approached the front door, and knocked on it calmly, hoping to get an answer. Inside, Charlene did not hesitate to open the door, seeing Dr. Hartman standing there. "Oh, hello Dr. Hartman. What brings you over?"

"Mrs. Doofenshmirtz, may I come in? It's about your ex-husband." "Dr. Hartman" said. Charlene graciously let him enter the household.

"What's the matter? Is Heinz OK?" Charlene hesitantly asked, as Vanessa came into the room.

"Mom, what's going on?" Vanessa asked casually, having not the slightest idea of what was about to transpire.

"Vanessa, you might want to sit down for this. You too, Charlene." All three of them took a seat on the couch. "Dr. Hartman" was brisk, yet Charlene and Vanessa were hesitant in their approach. But once they were both seated, "Dr. Hartman" began to speak. "Vanessa, Charlene, I'm afraid the news isn't good. Your father & ex-husband, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, needs a kidney transplant."

Vanessa and Charlene both gasped in shock. They exchanged looks to each other before returning their attention to "Dr. Hartman". " "A kidney transplant? Oh my god, is he OK?" Vanessa asked.

"Right now, he's fine. But we can't afford to waste time. He's suffering from kidney failure and it's progressing rather quickly. We advised him to receive medical attention at the hospital, but he said he'd only go if it meant getting a transplant."

"Well, did you find anybody?"

"Actually, that's why I'm here. It turns out that both of you are perfect matches for him, so either of you would make great candidates to donate a kidney, if you want to."

"I am not letting my daughter donate a kidney, even if it is for her father." Charlene said firmly.

"Then does this mean _you'd_ be willing to give up a kidney."

"Well, uh-"

"Mom, come on. If you won't let me do it, you should at least do it." Vanessa urged her mother to do so. Vanessa was willing to do so, but she knew her mother was right, seeing as she was only 17. "I don't want to see my father get hurt."

"I know, Vanessa, but it's just...I-I can't."

"You _can't_ or you _don't want to_?"

"I _can't_." She turned quietly to her daughter. "Honey, I've never told you this, but...I think it's time you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Honey, when you were born, one of your kidneys didn't function properly. A surgery was needed to save you, or else you'd die. I-I couldn't let that happen."

Vanessa gasped. "So you gave me one of _your _kidneys?"

"Oh, no. No, I couldn't. My kidneys were far too big for you, anyway. No, they did manage to find a child old enough to perform a kidney transplant. But, just...just the thought of having to watch you suffer while waiting for a kidney donor was just so unbearable. I promised myself that if the day ever came where one of our family members needed a new kidney, I would _never_ volunteer to give up mine. It was so traumatizing for me, and I thank God every day that the operation was successful."

"Mom, does...does Dad know about this?"

"Unfortunately, yes, yes he does. In fact, he was the first to find out about this. He seemed to take it harder than any of us."

"So now what? If you're not willing to give up a kidney, and you won't let me, then who's-"

"There _is_ one more person who is a match for Heinz." "Dr. Hartman" interrupted. "His...his mother, Mrs. Doofenshmirtz."

"His mother? But, you couldn't possibly ask her to donate a kidney. She's impossible."

"Yeah, she despises him. At least her father is reasonable, which is weird, because I always thought it was the other way around." Vanessa mentioned.

"I'm sorry, but there's no other way."

"Well, here." Charlene grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down something on it before giving it to "Dr. Hartman". "This is Heinz's mother's address. Good luck trying to convince her."

"I'll keep in touch." He replied calmly, standing up, giving both Charlene and Vanessa hug before making his way out to confront Heinz's mother. He knew that it was his only chance, otherwise, Doofenshmirtz would be in a lot of trouble.

* * *

After having dealt with Jeremy and gone to the mall to cool off, Stacy & Candace returned home to relax and talk about their upcoming senior year. Stacy was on her computer when she pulled up the "Facebook" website. "Uh oh."

"What?" Candace asked.

"You might want to check out Jeremy's latest Facebook post."

"Oh no. What is it now?" Candace stood up and walked over to the computer and saw Jeremy's latest post. "OMG. 'Can you believe that Candace Flynn girl? She was totally swooning for me when she saw how attractive and beautiful my new girlfriend is compared to her. She is _such_ a pig, I can't believe I ever thought I was into her. Candace was probably the worst choice for a girlfriend I ever made. What, with the way she snorts loudly when she laughs, constantly goes after her brothers, and the fact that's she just plain unattractive!" Candace growled as she continued reading on. "I can't believe this. He just won't let up!"

"What a jerk!" Stacy shouted.

Suddenly, Candace's cellphone rang. "Hello?"

"_Candace?"_

"Kurt, what's the matter?"

"_Did you read that Jeremy guy's Facebook message?"_

"We're reading it right now!"

"_I can't believe that guy won't let up on you."_

"He's determined to make me miserable ever since he insulted me and my brothers. I'm lucky it hasn't gotten any worse, but who knows where this could go."

"_I am not going to let that sleaze bucket think he can get away with this."_

"What are you going to do?"

"_Don't you worry about what I'm going to do. Just relax and let me handle this."_ Kurt hung up the line.

It turned out that he was already on his way to Jeremy's house to confront him. Having had enough of his ignorance and his attitude, he was hoping to set him straight somehow. He approached Jeremy's front door and knocked on the door hard three times; his patience had run out with his behavior to Candace and was not in the mood for any stunts. Jeremy opened the door and smirked when he saw Kurt standing there. "Oh, it's you. What do _you_ want?" He asked smugly, which only made Kurt angrier. He reached out and grabbed Jeremy by the shirt collar.

"You listen and you listen good because I'm only going to say this once!" He spoke in a low, but harsh tone. "I've had it with you constantly harassing Candace. Now, you're gonna apologize and do it now, before I get _really_ mad!"

"Yeah, I don't think so." Jeremy remained calm and collective, prompting Kurt to bring him around and throw him to the ground.

"I don't think you understood me, son. So let me reiterate: You apologize to her, or I'll rearrange your face."

"Please. You couldn't even rearrange a jigsaw puzzle even if you had lost the box to it."

"Do you even know what you said?"

"No, but what I do know is that I'd make a much better boyfriend for Candace than you would ever."

"Is that so? Then why are you treating her like such garbage."

"Because she accused me of being a two-timing pig. As far as _I'm_ concerned, _she's_ the pig."

"So you think she's repulsive and a waste of space, yet you'd still want her to be your girlfriend?"

"Look, I only say the things I've said about her because I'm mad at her."

"Understandable."

"And the truth is, I'm still madly in love with her, and I want to win her back. So I thought maybe I could get her jealous enough with Pam to come crawling back to me, begging for me to take her back."

"Well, I'm sorry, dude, but _I_ like Candace, too. And I'm not going to let you ruin my chances with her just because you "miss" her."

"I think you should let Candace decide that for herself."

"But that's not fair. For you, I mean, because based on the way you've been treated her the past couple of weeks, it's not looking so good for you. In fact, I'm not even sure why she went out with you in the first place."

"Hey, I am _twice_ the man you could ever be!"

"I bet you are. If you're so sure, why don't you prove it?"

"Hey, any time, any place, I will beat you around in circles. And just to give you a fair fight, I'll even let you pick the battle."

"Oh, ho ho." Kurt laughed. "You are going to regret saying that." He took out a piece of paper and scribbled some stuff down with a pen, and handed it to Jeremy. "Meet me at this location in 3 days, 9 A.M. Be there, or stay away from us."

"I'll be there." Jeremy replied smugly as Kurt had finally had enough of him, and decided to leave him alone. Jeremy studied the paper, then looked back at Kurt, and vowed to humiliate him as best he could with whatever challenge was brought to him.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Danville Gym, Phineas had just been dropped off by his parents and was entering the training area. He had changed into a pair of workout clothes, consisting of a red, sleeveless shirt, and white shorts, and brought with him a towel, and a few bottles of water in a plastic bag so he would remain hydrated throughout his workout.

The first thing he did when he arrived was jump on an empty treadmill. The difficult task was finding one where he could reach the buttons to control the treadmill. Luckily, there were two treadmills available with such characteristics. He stepped on and placed his bag down on the ground next to him. But before the started the treadmill up, he turned on his "Bodybug", as he called it, with no idea that the name was already taken by NBC, and set the dial so the little screen displayed "2X". This meant that Phineas's metabolic rate would be doubled while he exercised, insuring a quicker weight loss, and his BMR, or Basal Metabolic Rate, the rate at which calories were burned while Phineas was doing absolutely nothing, would be doubled as well.

He set his treadmill so he could begin at a walking pace of 3 1/2 miles per hour and an incline of 2.0. Phineas believed that this would be a fair starting pace and he would gradually increase his speed & incline with time. But, what he did not realize was that the harder the body worked, the more fatigued it would become when training. Setting himself up for double the results also set him up for double the pain, and double the sweat.

After only 10 minutes, Phineas was sweating profusely. But, he refused to stop, and instead, he even "up'd the ante" by increasing his speed to 4.5, a light jog, and his incline to 3.5. His "Bodybugg" was still working, and speeding up his metabolic rate to double a normal rate. After about 20 minutes of walking at this pace, Phineas was able to burn just under 500 calories (normally it would be around 250, but thanks to his invention, his calorie burning was doubled)

He was sweating like an animal, and yet he refused to give up. In fact, despite his inner conscience and his body telling him to take a break, he "up'd" the ante even more, increasing his speed into a full 7.5 mph sprint at a 8.0 incline, and even turned the dial on his device even higher, so it displayed "3X", increasing his metabolic rate to triple that of a normal rate. He was determined to make the most of his time, and in his mind, he was. The 30-minute 7.5 mile per hour sprint at a 8.0 incline, at double the normal burning rate, allowed him to burn up to 950 more calories. So far, and not even an hour into his workout, Phineas had burned off about half of a pound.

Exhausted, dizzy, and sweating heavily, he decided that next, he would work on aerobics. Noticing an elevated stepper platform nearby, he decided he would work on "Step-ups" next, and that he would go as vigorously as he could. He had to really step up in order to get onto the platform, but he figured that it was worth it. He spent a half hour on the stepper, and going all out on it, combined with his device giving his metabolic rate a "Triple A" boost, he ended up burning a total of 740 calories, bring his total for the day, in less than 90 minutes, to over 2,400 calories burned.

After the step-ups, he decided to work on his arms, and decided to do some push-ups. It was one of his weakest spots of exercise, and he was determined to get it to work. But he was also determined to get the weight off of him, so he once again went all out, even increasing the intensity of his metabolic rate, turning the dial so it read "3.5X". He had already gone through 2 full water bottles and was down to his last one, but he didn't want to let that stop him. He worked on his push-ups like a crazy maniac, and quickly, perfected his technique. After perfecting his technique, he decided to time himself and see how many he could do in 60-seconds, much like the Presidential Fitness Test. He repeated this task several times, and after 20 minutes, he had burned off another 361 calories, bringing his total up to 2,801 calories.

Next up was a 25-minute session for sit-ups, where he managed to burn off 452 more calories bringing his total up to 3,253 calories for the day, just shy of 1 full pound. Then he returned to the treadmill and upped his workout even more, setting the treadmill for a 15% incline and the speed so he was running a 6-minute mile. By now, he had used up all three of his water bottles, and his towel was soaked with sweat. But he continued to persist until he had been running for approximately 45 minutes, burning off a whopping 2,709 calories in just that one session, bringing his total up to 5,962 calories in just one day, or a pound and a half.

After about a 10 minute break, where he filled up all three of his water bottles and gorged down two of them again, he returned to the workout area, and before going back to workout, plopped down on the floor next to the treadmill he used, and checked his progress. Thanks to his new "Bodybug", he was able to check to see how many calories he had burned throughout the day. "5,962 calories. What does that mean?" He reached into his bag and pulled out some papers. "A pound of fat is equal to approximately 3,500 calories." He read. "Hey, that means I've burned off over a pound today alone!"

"That doesn't sound too good." A man spoke, who happened to be standing right beside Phineas, hoping to use the treadmill. He was very tall, about 6'5", very slim, but muscular, and wearing a red, sleeveless shirt with the words "The Biggest Loser" on it. "Hey, are you using this treadmill?"

"No, go ahead."

"Thanks." He walked around Phineas and stepped onto the treadmill, and immediately noticed that there were sweat stains on it. "So, you trying to lose weight or something?"

"Yeah."

"Man, a kid like you shouldn't be worry about losing weight. Besides, you don't even look like you need to lose weight."

"Really? Thanks, but, I think I do."

"What makes you say that?"

"I-I really shouldn't be talking to you about something like this, but since you asked, earlier today, I went with my stepbrother and my girlfriend to get a physical examination. And when the results came back, it said that I was a little bit on the heavy side."

"I don't understand."

"See, I'm shorter than her, and yet I weigh more, so it kinda made me feel like a fatty. And so, I came here to try to work off some of this fat." He held his stomach and shook it a bit to prove his point.

"You look like you've been here for a while."

"About two hours, and I've really been trying to work off at least a pound before I left here."

"Whoa, whoa, easy there." The man stopped his treadmill instantly and stepped off to console Phineas. "That's not a good idea."

"Huh? Why?"

"See, weight loss is a process. It's not a quick fix."

"But those guys on NBC work out for, like, six hours a day."

"Yeah, but not at once. No, we're usually in that gym, two-three times a day. If they worked us out 6 hours at once, there'd be 5 lawsuits for every contestant that got eliminated."

"Wait, why did you say _we_? Were _you_ on that show, too?"

"Yeah. Season 2, Pete Thomas. Nice to meet you, kid." He held out his hand, which Phineas graciously shook.

"My name's Phineas. Boy, for a guy who probably put himself through what I did over the last two hours, you sure look great."

"Thank you. Anyway, weight loss is a process. It's like a football game. You have to have a place before you tackle the field. For instance, you should probably set up a calender of what foods you want to eat at what time of day, and what exercises you want to do and when. The best way to do it is not to hit your exercises hard at once, but to stretch it out and go moderately, and maybe for about 30-45 minutes a day. Quicker weight loss can lead to damage internally and externally, as well as an increased chance of you gaining the weight back and thensome. The only reason we used to do it on "The Biggest Loser" is because we were all morbidly obese, and thus, we had more weight to lose. You don't seem to have much, if any, so if you decide to go for the quick weight loss, you could really hurt yourself. But, if you stick to the healthy average, to 1-2 pounds a week, you'll avoid doing damage to your body as long as you don't go under a weight that's considered "normal" for one of your height and age."

"Wow, there's a lot more to weight loss than I expected. You know a lot about it."

"So, tell me, Phineas, does this "girlfriend" of yours say anything to you about your weight, that may have made you go out of your way for this?"

"Well, no, not really. I mean sometimes, she says some things about my...my butt, but I know that's because she's hit the "puberty" stage, and we talked about it, so I don't think it's that. No, I think this is just a journey for me to better myself. This way, nobody will be able to say anything about my weight."

"Alright then, if you say so. But hey, if you need some advise..." He took out a small paper and a pencil and scribbled a website down. "Go to this website. It gives you 24 hours support for people who want to lose weight, as well as helpful tips on how to do it properly." He handed the paper to Phineas as he stood up and prepared to leave.

"Gee, thanks. Well, I guess I'll see you around, then."

"Take care, kid."

Phineas waved goodbye as he headed for the exit. While he was almost out, he started thinking about his relationship with Isabella again. This time, he focused on the many instances where Isabella had said stuff about her physical attraction to him, and he started feeling uncomfortable again. "I bet _his_ girlfriend never made fun of him for his weight. S-She has no reason to, anyway. Oh, that Isabella. Why does she always say stuff about my butt?" His anger rose and his tone changed drastically. "I'll show her. I'll not only lose this weight, but I'll even get skinnier than her. Yeah, then _she'll _be the pathetic punching bag while _I'm_ the one constantly making fun of her and insulting her and making me feel like a FATTY!" on the last word, he unleashed his rage on a nearby punching bag. He swung his arm once, punched it, and put a hole right through it. It was only after he came to did he realize what he did. So in a quick haste, he went right out the door, hoping to avoid any conflict.

**To be continued...**

**A/N: I hope you caught the "Biggest Loser" reference. Oh, and another thing, that gag with the lizard and the transformation suit earlier in the chapter was a reference to the new Nickelodeon show "T.U.F.F. Puppy, starring iCarly's Jerry Trainor. Hope you liked it. This was my longest episode ever.**

**Next Time: Phineas's new behavior begins to unravel and his loved ones grow concerned. Meanwhile Ferb's father has a difficult time dealing with his son having Diabetes. Elsewhere, Kurt challenges Jeremy to a masculine competition in the hopes of getting him to leave Candace alone, and Perry desperately seeks out Heinz Doofenshmirtz's mother in the hopes of convincing her to donate a kidney to her son.**

**Expected Update: ? (Check my profile page for more information)**


	53. 43: The Good, The Bad, and the Flynn

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 43: The Good, The Bad, and The Flynn (Part 2)**

**Episode Summary: Phineas's new behavior and obsession over losing his "fat" begins to unravel and his loved ones grow concerned, especially Isabella. Meanwhile Ferb's father has a difficult time with accepting the fact that his son has Diabetes. Elsewhere, Kurt and Jeremy do battle, and Perry desperately seeks out Heinz Doofenshmirtz's mother in the hopes of convincing her to donate a kidney to her son.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

A new day arose in Danville. The sun wasn't even up at the hour of 5, yet Phineas was already awake and raring to get a good workout in. The first thing he did after he got changed into his workout clothes, he stepped into the bathroom and stepped onto the scale. The digital readout read 84.7 lbs, meaning he had lost over a pound since the previous day. "Wow, I've only been doing this for 18 hours and I've already lost nearly a pound and a half. I'm doing great!" He shouted, lifting his arms up into the air before lowering them slightly, experiencing some pains in his muscles and his chest. "Ow, I'm sore. I really pushed myself yesterday. All the more reason to go even harder today."

He sneaked out of the bathroom and down the stairs with his gym stuff in his bag. Since the Gym wasn't open at this early of an hour, he decided to simply go for a run around the neighborhood. He set the device on his arm to "3X" to triple his metabolic rate for the run. Even though his legs were sore, he did not feel like taking it easy at all, and still decided to use all of his strength for the run. Unfortunately, he was able to only run for a short time, but, through his 20 minutes of jogging fiercely, he still managed to burn 366 calories. He decided to use the next few trips around to simply walk, but walk quickly.

His pace, however, was slowed to a 15-minute mile due to the strain on his legs. Nevertheless, he continued to push and eventually did manage to work his way up to a 10-minute mile jog. The next 40 minutes resulted in a huge 264 calorie burn for him, and after realizing that the sun was coming up, he quickly made his way home.

He sneaked in through the front door and was lucky that nobody was in the living room to catch him. However, Lawrence & Linda were just coming down the stairs to get breakfast started.

"Phineas?" Lawrence asked, as Linda rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "What are you doing up?"

"Um, uh..." The last thing Phineas wanted to do was tell his parents that he had just returned home from a jog around the neighborhood, but he needed to say something. "I...I just wanted to head out to get a good workout in before breakfast. I read online that if you workout before you eat a meal, if speeds up your metabolism and burns the calories more quickly."

"Oh, Phineas, you shouldn't be worrying about stuff like that." Linda replied. "Now, come on. Why don't you go back up to bed? You look like you've been up all night." Truthfully, he had been up for a good portion of the night.

"Alright, if you say so." Phineas sighed in defeat. He wanted to get in another workout, but he knew that he was physically exhausted. So he trudged upstairs, with some help from his parents, and went back into his room. But, instead of going back to bed, he plopped onto his back, and started doing some sit ups. "But you're not the one that needs to lose weight, Mom!" He said quietly to nobody in particular, letting out his frustrations as he continued to burn off his "Fat".

Meanwhile, downstairs, Lawrence had sat down at the kitchen table after getting the newspaper, while Linda started on the breakfast. "Lawrence, is something bothering you?"

"Of course, darling. How would you feel if you found out that one of your children had Type I Diabetes?"

"Well, not very good, I suppose. But it's not so bad. Dr. Hartman said that it's perfectly treatable and managable."

"You don't understand, Linda. My side of the family has had Diabetes passed down generation after generation. Ferb's great grandmother had it, his grandmother had it, his mother had it, and now _he_ has it. It's very hard for me to deal with this, Linda."

"Honey, I know it must be horrifying to know that your own flesh and blood is sick, but it's not like we can't do anything about it. If we manage it well enough, Ferb can easily live a long and healthy life, and nobody would remember that he has Diabetes."

"I know, I know. I'm more worried about how he's going to deal with it."

"I don't know, Lawrence. He didn't really seem too distressed about it yesterday."

"Well, that may be because he doesn't fully understand its consequences and hardships."

Linda closed her eyes halfway and raised an eyebrow. "Lawrence, if he and Phineas can build a rollercoaster in less than a day in the backyard, I'm pretty sure they can understand the downside to a disease such as this."

"Hmm, I didn't really think of it like that."

"Trust me, Lawrence. Ferb is going to be fine. He has wonderful friends and family to lean on for support. We'll get through this together."

"Yes, I suppose you are right."

Back upstairs, Phineas was just finishing up his 1st set of 100 sit ups, and as he took a short rest before going into his 2nd set, his cellphone went off. He answered it and saw that it was Isabella on the other line. He was hesitant to answer the phone, but he really wanted to say hi to his girlfriend. "Hi Isabella."

"_Hey, Phineas. Did you sleep well?"_

"Uh, yeah. Of course I did. W-Why do you ask?" He responded in between gasps for air.

"_Uh, because I love you? Phineas, why do you sound like you're out of breath?"_

"Why do I sound out of breath? Oh, uh, that's because...that's because I had a...I had a bad dream. Yeah, that's it. A bad dream. That's all."

_"Do you want to talk about it? I could be over there in a flash, you know."_

"Um, no. No, that's OK. I'm fine. Really. I'll...I'll call you later, OK?"

"_Alright, Phineas. If you say so._" She hung up quickly, as did Phineas, leaving him to continue his workout in peace, as he switched his gears over to push-ups. Just as he was about to get started, the alarm clock went off. He shut it off quickly only to have Ferb awaken and see him in his workout gear. "Morning Ferb."

"What's with the getup? You lose a bet or something?" Ferb joked, though Phineas took it harshly.

"Ha ha, real funny. No, I decided to mix up my wardrobe a little bit. Isabella says she loves my orange shirt and blue shorts, but she's going to get a kick out of this."

"That's funny. I don't agree with you."

"Well, no offense, but I wasn't really asking you for your opinion, Ferb."

"Well, look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Why do you look like you've just been running from a pack of wolves?"

"Because I had a bad dream last night, and I woke up sweating. No big deal."

"If you say so." Ferb didn't buy Phineas's lame excuse for one second. But, seeing as he was already awake, he didn't really believe there was a need for more interrogation. So for the moment, he dropped the subject.

When breakfast was ready, Linda called the boys and Candace down to the table. As they were heading out to the kitchen, Candace also couldn't help but notice Phineas's new "wardrobe".

"What's with the new getup?" She joked. "You lose a bet or something?"

"That's the same thing I said." Ferb responded.

"No, I had a bad dream, and seeing as I couldn't get back to sleep, I decided to get dress and get some fresh air. What's the big deal?"

"Well, you're sweating like a pig. That's not normal, even for you."

"So? Maybe the dream was bad. Look, can we just drop the subject for now?" He as becoming testy and anxious, and seeing this, Candace decided to back off. He wasn't doing it to intentionally make anybody feel bad. But his emotions were getting the best of him. The kids entered the kitchen to see a nice breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon ready for them. Phineas took his seat at the table and stared at his food while the others got busy eating.

"Phineas, why aren't you eating? Aren't you hungry?" Lawrence asked his stepson.

"Uh, no, not really."

"But it's scrambled eggs and bacon. Your favorite." Candace replied, stunned that her little brother wasn't gorging on the breakfast in front of him. "Do you feel OK?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I feel fine." He picked up his fork and ate a small piece of his egg. "See? Mmm, delicious."

"Phineas, something is bothering you. Did you sleep at all last night?" Candace asked him.

"Not really. But I don't think it's anything to worry about."

"But Phineas, you know how you can get when you don't get enough sleep." Linda informed him. "Isabella is always nagging you to make sure you get your required 8 hours."

"Yeah, well, maybe Isabella shouldn't butt into my business so much." He looked up quickly and answered upon realizing that he had said the word "butt", a word which had not been sitting well over the past couple of days. "I...I mean, she shouldn't be..."

"Are you sure something's not bothering you?"

"Yes, guys. For the tenth time, I'm sure nothing's bothering me. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. And besides, why are you all so worried about me? Ferb's the one with Diabetes."

"It's not that bad." Ferb informed him. "All I need to do is take some insulin twice a day and make sure I get enough sugar into my body and not too much."

"Yeah, sure. It's _that_ simple. Look, I'm just not hungry and I'm going to go back up to bed." Phineas rubbed his eyes and stood up as he left the kitchen for his bedroom. The rest of the family all exchanged looks.

"You guys don't believe him, do you?" Candace asked sternly.

"Not one word of it, dear." Linda replied.

"Yes, I admit that our boy is acting a bit strangely. But I don't think we need to be concerned as of yet. After all, he said it himself. He didn't sleep well last night."

"I don't know, dad. I think it's a little bit more than that." Candace disagreed. "I mean, ever since he and Isabella admitted their feelings for each other, he's changed. His attitude towards her has definitely changed. He seems a lot more on edge when it comes to her, especially after what happened earlier this summer."

"Oh, yeah, when Isabella ran away. Boy, that sure broke him up." Linda remembered.

"He hasn't been the same since." Ferb added. "He's been convinced that he either does everything he can to make her happy, or he loses her as a friend."

"A boy his age should not have to go through that. It's putting stress on him physically _and_ emotionally." Candace barked angrily. If there was one thing she hated more than anything, it was knowing that one of her brothers, whom she loved very much, was suffering or being bullied for any reason. Ever since her reform thanks to military school, she had become much more compassionate, loving, and accepting of her brothers' antics, and vowed to be there for them at all times. "We have to do something."

"But if he won't tell us, how do we find out what he's really thinking?" Linda inquired.

"I guess we'll all just have to pay very close attention in the next few days." Candace explained. "I just hope we don't end up too late to do anything."

* * *

Meanwhile, across the seas, Perry, still disguised as Dr. Hartman, had just arrived in the distant land of Druelselstein, in the town of Gimmelschtump. His mission was clear: to find Heinz Doofenshmirtz's mother, and hopefully convince her to give up a kidney to her son. He traveled far and wide throughout the practically vacant country. All of the homes looked exactly the same, so it was difficult to tell which one was the Doofenshmirtz's. All he had was a piece of paper with the address on it, so he had to rely on his good eye sight.

"Ahh, finally. Here we go." "Dr. Hartman" said, looking at the address at the house in front of him, though it was the tombstone in front that read "In Memory of Balloony", obviously placed there by Doofenshmirtz when he was younger, that gave it away. He knocked on the door a few times and waited for an answer. His wait, however, was not long, as Mrs. Doofenshmirtz did answer the door. Unfortunately, due to her appearance, "Dr. Hartman" presumed her to be Mr. Doofenshmirtz. "Mr. Doofenshmirtz, long time no see. I'm Dr. Hartman, your sons' physicians." He said gladly, shaking her hand. She, of course, gave him a cold stare, taking his greeting as an insult.

She attempted to close the door only to have it stopped by his foot. "Whoa, whoa there, partner. Listen, we need to have a talk. Mr. Doofenshmirtz, your son is in trouble and I need to speak to your wife imm-"

"Who was at the door, honey?" Mr. Doofenshmirtz asked, walking into the room. "Oh, Dr. Hartman. Hello, what brings you here?"

Seeing Mr. and Mrs. Doofenshmirtz standing in the same room together caused it to click in for him. "Ohhhhhhhh..._you're_ Mrs. Doofenshmirtz?" He asked Mrs. Doofenshmirtz, to which she nodded slowly and angrily. "Ooh, I'm so sorry. Anyway, your son is in trouble."

"Roger? Roger is in trouble?" She asked.

"No, your other son."

"What other son?"

"Heinz." Mr. Doofenshmirtz jumped in. "The son you made wear those girly dresses to school after Roger was born."

"Hmm, no. Can't recall having a Heinz. I would never name my child that."

"But you did. In fact, you explicitly put that on his birth certificate behind my back-"

"Silence. What did I say about talking when we had company here?"

"OK, obviously, this isn't going to work." "Dr. Hartman" decided to stop the nonsense before him. So he took out a baseball bat, and lightly tapped her on her head, causing her to lose consciousness. "There we go. Your voice annoys me anyway."

"So, Dr. Hartman, what is the matter with my son, Heinz?"

"Mr. Doofenshmirtz, I'm afraid your son is in trouble. He's suffering from Kidney Failure."

"Kidney Failure? Oh my, that's not good."

"Not at all. The only chance he has at surviving is it he gets a kidney transplant. His ex-wife and daughter have refused the procedure."

"Well, then, put me under! I'll do it."

"That's very generous of you, but I'm afraid you can't. You're not a match for him. But your wife is. She's the last match within the family, and if she doesn't donate her kidney to him, he could die. He doesn't have much time. Obviously, your wife is too thick-headed to listen to me. But please, you have to convince her to do this."

"But she hates Heinz. She's despised him ever since he was born."

"You have to do something. It's either this, or bye-bye Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"Well, my wife _is_ thick-headed. I'll see what I can do. But no guarantees."

"Thank you. Now, here's my number." "Dr. Hartman" pulled out a card with his phone number on it (really a phone number that went right to Perry's Agency Cellphone.) and handed it to Mr. Doofenshmirtz. "Call if anything happens. And hurry. Your son is refusing medical attention and he won't come in unless there's a donor ready."

"How long if he doesn't get one?"

"I don't know. I'd say a week. Maybe 2 if he's lucky."

"Oh my. Don't you worry, Dr. Hartman. I won't fail my son. Not this time. You see, it all started when-"

"You know what? I'm just gonna stop you there. I would _love_ to hear one of your thrilling backstories, except, I really just don't care."

* * *

Back in Danville, the pressure was on to help Phineas. It was already mid-day, and with not a single sighting of the boy anywhere, everyone was growing concerned. Isabella had warned her Fireside Girls troopers about this, as well as Phineas's other friends, and after hearing this new set of news, the kids all devoted their time to finding the boy.

Meanwhile, Phineas had devoted his time to getting fit and losing his "excess fat" so he would be smaller than his stepbrother and Isabella. With 15 pound weights in his hands and a towel over his shoulder, as well as a backpack on his back with water bottles in them, he took to the streets and jogged around the town several times while doing curls with the weights.

For the most part, Phineas went unnoticed by his friends. His long and exhausting 2-hour run was about to come to a very "satisfying" end, in his mind, considering that he was not spotted by any of his friends or family. That is, until he returned home, where his friends, stepbrother, and Isabella, were all sitting in the front yard, with concerned looks on their faces. "H-Hey guys." Phineas said, panting heavily. He put his backpack down and took a water bottle out, gulping it down quickly. "What are you all doing here?"

"Waiting for you." Isabella replied solemnly. "Where have you been?"

"I've been...around town."

"Why do you look all sweaty, dude?" Buford asked. "And what's with the new getup, chump?"

"None of your business, Buford." The boy coldly responded.

"But you look like you just ran a marathon." Isabella replied, her tone of voice being much softer's than that of Buford's. "Are you OK?"

"Of course I am, Isabella. I'm fine."

"Then come sit here and relax with us. It's already noon. It's getting late for us to do anything, so why don't we just take this time to relax in the sunshine? Come on. I saved you a seat right next to me." She patted the ground next to her indicating an empty spot on the ground for him to sit on.

"O-OK." He slowly edged towards Isabella and took a seat next to her. Putting his stuff aside, he made certain to keep a distance from her. She, however, was not catching on and instead, constantly scooted closer to him. This action only made him more tense, visible in his face.

"Phineas, what's wrong?" She asked, scooting closer again, which only made him scoot farther away. "Why are you running away from me?"

"Because I really just want to go inside and get these clothes off and take a shower."

"Alright. But we all want you to come out and play with us when you're done."

"OK, Isabella. I promise I'll be right out." He stepped into the house and immediately went upstairs to take a long shower. The shower helped relax his muscles after his grueling workout, and when he came out and got dressed into his regular clothes again, he felt much more relaxed and much more peaceful. "OK, I'm better now."

"You look a lot better, too. Are you alright? You haven't been yourself for the past couple of days." Isabella pointed out.

"Maybe I just haven't been getting enough sleep lately."

"Ah, I see. Well, you know how I feel about that, Phineas. I get upset when I feel like you're not sleeping enough."

"I know, Isabella."

"Now come on. My mom invited us all over to her house for lunch. Wanna join us?"

"Sure, why not? That sounds like a good idea. Count me in." He started jittering in his place again, tensing up. As he walked over to Isabella's house, he couldn't help but think of all of the food that could be stocked up in Isabella's refrigerator. It was this time that his conscience started playing tricks on him again. As he went inside the house and sat down at the table, his conscience started to reason with him. This time, acting as his bad conscience, actor James Woods stood on Phineas's left shoulder.

"Look at all that delicious, fattening food." James Woods said. "One bite of that, and all of this hard work, all of this blood, sweat, and tears...will have been for nothing. Do you really want that to happen? Huh? Do you?"

"James Woods? What the heck are you doing acting as my conscience?" Phineas asked quietly, noticing the famous actor on his shoulders instead of the notorious baby from the day before. He made certain to keep his voice real low so nobody around him would hear him.

"I'm trying to convince you to not eat that fatty garbage that's on your plate there. Oh, and the fact that it's me this time probably means you're hallucinating."

"I'm hallucinating?"

"Yeah, what was your first clue?" Another voice spoke, this time, from Phineas's right shoulder. This time, he saw a portly man with a white shirt and green pants. "Nobody sees James Woods around here anymore. Anyway, kid, look what you're doing to yourself. This is some of your favorite foods."

"But it's so much food. I'm not sure if I could eat it all."

"Then don't eat it all. But eat something. It's not a good idea to totally cut out food from your day. You need food to energize yourself."

"Don't listen to that tub of lard." James barked. Phineas turned to him. "Wouldn't you rather be like me?"

"You mean a stuck-up, arrogant jerkface whom everybody thinks is passed his prime?"

"AHAHHAHA!" Phineas's little comment about James Woods caused Peter to break out into laughter. "See? I'm not the only one that thinks that!"

Meanwhile, everyone else who was at the dinner table were looking in Phineas's direction, confused. From their perspective, it appeared that Phineas was talking to himself, which was unusual for him. "Phineas, who are you talking to?" Isabella asked.

"It appears that he is talking to himself." Baljeet commented. "The question is, why?" Meanwhile, Phineas's internal conflict continued.

"Look, I'm not saying he has to stop eating altogether." James Woods barked to Peter & Phineas. "But he should really stop eating all this fatty food. We all know where it's gonna go in the end."

"You know, it's stuff like that that's been really getting this kid paranoid over the past few days."

"Phineas, what's going on?" Isabella asked again.

"Oh, like you could give him better advice? The dog couldn't even do that."

"Yeah? Y-You're over there telling him that he needs to starve himself in order to lose weight. I know that's not true, and I'm fatter than Holy Hell!"

"Of course you are."

"Will you two knock it off!" Phineas shouted, getting everybody off guard. He started panting as he turned to his two sides of conscience. "Look, this is getting me nowhere!"

"W-What are you talking about, Phineas?" Isabella asked again, having no idea that Phineas was actually arguing with himself (No pun intended).

"I'm not trying to starve myself just to look good! I'm just cutting back on my food intake and increasing my exercise ridiculously so I can lose this stupid fat off of me so Isabella can't say anything about me! Once I get this weight off, I won't have to worry about weighing more than her or Ferb and then everybody can just leave me alone!" He opened his eyes widely and suddenly realized that he had just said all of that out loud. He looked at everybody, and then at Isabella, who had stood up and walked over to him to give him a hug.

"Something's wrong, Phineas. I just know it." She said as she slowly ran her hands down his torso, stopping abruptly at his stomach, realizing that something was not quite right with it. "Phineas, your stomach feels practically empty and small. H-Have you been eating enough?"

"Didn't you just hear me, Isabella? No, I haven't been eating. Well, at least not as much as I usually do."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand, Isabella. You just wouldn't." He stood up from his chair and ran right out of the room and up the stairs into Isabella's room. Isabella and Ferb followed closely, carrying a plate of food to bring to him.

"Phineas? Can we come in?" She asked as she knocked on the door. But, seeing as the door was already opened slightly, they let themselves in. They opened the door to see the young boy curled up in a fetal position on her bed, tears running down his eyes. They edged closer to him, setting the plate of food down in his lap and handed him a knife & fork. "Eat up, Phineas."

Phineas hesitated, slowly looking up at his girlfriend & his stepbrother, and after seeing their reassuring smiles, he slowly cut a piece of the pork loin in front of him, and taking a bite out of it. "Oh, that is _so_ delicious!" He said endearingly. "I missed this." Soon after that, he began gobbling it down quickly, and after only 10 minutes, the entire piece had been devoured, and Phineas once again felt full. "Ahh, that was tasty."

"Now talk to us." Isabella said, climbing up onto the bed and cuddling next to him. "What's going on with you?"

"Your behavior is certainly altered since our physical examination." Ferb remarked.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Phineas, what's bothering you? Come on, you need to tell us."

"You wanna know the truth? Fine, I'll tell you. I'm just a big fatty! Ever since those tests came back and said that I weighed more than you and Ferb, I've become really self-conscious about myself."

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me you've become one of those self-absorbed jerks who only cares about his looks?"

"No, I'm saying that I'm self-conscious about the way I look. I mean, look at my belly. It has so much fat on it-"

"OK, OK, I'm stopping you there." Isabella said, placing a finger over his mouth, and then giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Phineas, you don't have to worry. This..." He placed a hand gently on his stomach and patted it. "Is just baby fat. Most kids have some until they're at least a teenager."

"AHA!" Screamed a voice in Phineas's head, as Brian the dog once again appeared on his right shoulder, with an angry look on his face. "I told you! I told you it was just baby fat! But would you listen? No? Looks like you got more fat in your head than you do in your stomach, pal!"

"Whoa, whoa, Brian. Easy. He's just a kid." Stewie said, on Phineas's left shoulder.

"Suck it, baby-face! I was right!"

"OK, that's it. We're going home." Stewie jumped onto Phineas's left shoulder, took Brian's paw, snapped his fingers, and poofed them out of the scene and out of Phineas's mind forever.

"So you _don't_ think I'm fat?" Phineas asked Isabella, having ignored Stewie & Brian completely.

"No. Where would you get a crazy idea like that?"

"Well, it's just that..." He looked up at Isabella, and then at Ferb. "Uh, Ferb, would you mind giving Isabella and I a moment?"

"Sure. Besides, I have to take my insulin." Ferb smiled and then slowly left the room, giving Isabella and Phineas time along for a much needed talk. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before reaching out and giving him a big hug.

"Phineas, where would you get the idea that I thought you were fat?"

"Well, you-you're always saying that I have a lot of "junk in my trunk", and I know that you're not trying to make me feel bad. But after yesterday, I kinda started feeling bad. I didn't feel as good as I used to. To you, I didn't feel attractive."

"But Phineas, I don't think you're fat. Sure, you may look just a little bit chubby, but that just means there's more of you to love." She sat down on the bed and made herself comfortable, snuggling up to him and wrapping an arm around his neck, while putting the other one down to give Phineas a "little more love", if you catch my drift. "And we've been over this before. I only say those things about your cute butt because it's one of the ways I express my love for you. I mean, you are extremely cute, and quite a good catch."

"You thinks so?"

"I know so." She edged closer and kissed him again. "Just the very sight of you sends chills down my spine. Every time I see your cute butt swish back and forth when you dance, I just want to go up there and dance along with you. But not only that, your amazing personality, your adorable can-do attitude, and your incredible affection...it all just makes me love you even more. Phineas, I can't stand to spend even a minute apart from you, and doing things like this to yourself just because you feel inferior or ugly isn't helping the cause."

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I just let my conscience get the better of me."

"Phineas, I want you to promise me something."

"What's that?"

"I want you to promise me that if I ever say anything about you that makes you uncomfortable, you tell me, and I'll stop. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I can do that for you. I-I don't want to lose you Isabella."

"You won't. Just don't do anything like this again, OK? Your body needs food, and although it is noble to exercise and make sure you don't gain weight, it's not a good idea to starve yourself or push your body to extremes in the hopes that you'll lose weight." She kissed him once more time and then wrapped both of her arms around his neck, and decided to just lay with him in bed, hoping that he'd come around and give her the smile she fell in love with.

"Isabella?"

"Yes, my love?"

"You'll never leave me, will you?"

"I wouldn't dream of it, Phineas."

"'Cause I don't want to end up lonely."

"I know, Phineas. I know."

* * *

Meanwhile, deep into the Tri-State Area, Kurt had set up what he felt was the ultimate physical challenge for him and Jeremy. Their original competition date was not for another 2 days. However, for an undisclosed reason, Jeremy called Kurt and had asked to move the date up to today. Kurt was waiting by the starting line wearing a sleeveless black T-shirt, black shorts, and wearing white wrist bands, with a water bottle in his hand. Jeremy came running up, wearing his usual outfit, having no idea as to what his challenge was, with his only accessory being a water bottle.

"What's up, man? Why'd you ask me to move this up to today?" Kurt immediately asked.

"Because, Mr. Goth, my family and I are going to Jamaica and we're leaving in 2 days. We'll be gone for a whole week, so let's just get this over with."

"Alright then. Are you sure you wanna go through with this?"

"Duh. That's why I came. I can take on anything you throw at me."

"Oh really? Does that include an entire, 26.2 mile marathon?"

"A marathon? Y-You're...You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not. When we talked over the phone, you said I could pick the challenge, and I gave you a fair warning that it was going to be exhausting and that you would need to be in the best physical form of your life."

"You didn't say it would be a marathon."

"I said it would take up 26 miles of your day. I was making an analogy...I think. Anyway, I thought that would be a big enough hint for you, but I guess you're even dumber than you look. You give blondes a bad name."

"Coming from the goth who has no fashion style."

"Hey! I make _this_ look good. You'd just make girls want to kill themselves. Now, are you gonna do this or are you going to chicken out? 'Cause Candace doesn't like chickens."

"There are a lot of things Candace doesn't like, including her brothers. I mean, that girl is horrible. Just to tell you how horrible she is would be a waste of my breath."

"I still don't understand why you're going to so much trouble if you hate her."

"It's called pride, man."

"So you're saying that even though you think she's repugnant, you'd still want to be her boyfriend?"

"Yeah, because in a relationship, the guys are the ones that call the shots."

"Now see, that I disagree with. Girls are just as equal as guys are and they should be treated as such. That's why I'd make a better boyfriend to her than you ever would."

"If you're so sure about that, prove it!"

"Alright then." Both boys stepped up to the starting line. "First one to cross the finish line gets the girl. Loser scrams. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just call it."

"Alright then." Both boys took a starting position at the line, and prepared for the run of their lives. "Ready...set...GO!" And they were off. The winner would get Candace's heart. The loser would have to stay out of the picture for good.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was in his lair, sitting in a recliner chair. With his kidney failure having depleted most of his strength, he had to rely on his robot assistant Norm, and his pet Ezekiel, to help take care of him. (The Lizard he had captured was still locked up in his cage). There was a knock at the door. Norm answered it; "Dr. Hartman" (Perry in disguise) was standing there with a grim look on his face.

"Dr. Hartman!" Doofenshmirtz yelled from his seat. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Heinz." He said solemnly. "I failed."

"You couldn't get my mother to concede?"

"No."

"That's alright, Dr. Hartman. I'm sure there will be others. I sure wish Perry the Platypus was here, though."

"Dr. Hartman" raised an eyebrow and, slowly, his form changed, and soon enough, he had reverted back to Perry the Platypus.

"Dr. Hartman, you're a platypus." Perry lowered his eyebrows in frustration, took the transformation suit off, and put his fedora back on. Doofenshmirtz gasped. "Perry the Platypus! Oh, that's right. I sent you out there."

"Great." The lizard in the cage said sarcastically. "And now that you're done with my transformation suit, can I please have it back?" However, Heinz and Perry ignored him.

"Well, Perry the Platypus, I thank you for trying, but it looks like there's nobody else that's willing to donate or is even a match to me."

"I'd give you my kidney, sir." Norm responded.

"Thank you, Norm. But you're just a robot. You don't have a kidney."

"No," He reached into his chest compartment and pulled out the hamster that was powering him. "But I do have this hamster."

"That hamster's not going to help me in any way. Besides, you need that thing to power you or else you'll-" Before he could finish, Norm had lost all of his power due to the lack of hamster, and he collapsed onto the floor, releasing the hamster from his grip. Upon seeing the running hamster, Ezekiel lost control of himself, and started chasing the hamster around the room. "Oh no. Not again! Ezekiel, come back!" Doofenshmirtz tried to lift himself out of his chair, but he was far too weak to do so. "Curse me and my abysmal immune system."

Perry could not stand to see his nemesis, whom he also considered a friend, suffering as he was. Not wishing to bear the sight any more, Perry turned away and left Doofenshmirtz with his robot assistant and Norm. He hated to see Doofenshmirtz suffer so, so in a last, desperate act, Perry decided to head out to his lair to contact his boss, in the hopes that Major Monogram would be able to help him in some way.

* * *

Isabella continued to bring up food for Phineas, and he continued to chow it down. He was still fighting within himself to eat the food placed in front of him, because he was still self-conscious about himself, despite the talk he and Isabella had.

"There you go, Phineas. Eat up." She continually encouraged him. "You need to get your strength back."

Every now and again, he looked up at her, and each time, she gave him a reassuring smile and even hugged him to keep his spirits up. "Isabella, why are you doing this?" He asked at one point.

"What do you mean-"

"Why are you pushing me so hard to eat this stuff. What if I don't want to?"

"But Phineas, you need to regain your strength. What you've been doing over the past couple of days could've really potentially harmed your body in the long run. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"Isabella, I'm really sorry about all of this. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I thought that you-" He was abruptly cut off when Isabella leaned in and kissed him, and then wrapped her arms around him.

"Do I tell you enough how much I love you?"

"Isabella, stop. Just stop. I know you don't want to keep saying that to me."

"I do. I don't care if you say you don't want to hear it. Deep down, you do want to hear it. Heck, you need to hear it. You've been nothing but miserable since we got together."

"With good reason."

"No. Not with good reason. You're a wonderful boy, Phineas, but ever since I admitted my feelings for you, you've been beating yourself up, believing that you don't deserve me. It hurts me so much when I hear you say those kinds of things about yourself."

"But it's true, Isabella! It's true! I don't deserve to have a happy relationship with you! You deserve somebody who's going to treat you with all the love you could want."

"And I have him. I have you. I've always loved you and I always will. That's why it breaks my heart to hear you beat yourself up the way you do."

"I'm sorry. I can't say that enough, Isabella."

"How about you just enjoy the rest of your meal and then we'll talk later. Do you want me to stay with you?" She asked; he nodded quickly as tears fell from his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek again. "OK, I'll stay." She got herself comfortable on the bed right next to him and watched as he continued to eat his meal, and work his way back to recovery. Seeing Phineas eating with an exasperated and depressed look on his face made Isabella tear up. She opened her dresser draw and pulled out a scrapbook composed of pictures of her and Phineas from past summers.

In the pictures, Phineas appeared so happy and so at peace with himself. No responsibilities, no romance, just good, old fashioned summer fun with his friends. But he felt like he had to give that up since he was in a relationship with Isabella, something that Isabella completely feared. He looked over to her side and saw Phineas practically crying as he took every bite of his meal. Tears started falling from her eyes as she leaned in and snuggled in Phineas's neck.

_**Look at this photograph**_  
_**Every time I do it makes me laugh**_  
_**How did our eyes get so red?**_  
_**And what the heck is on Ferb's head?**_

_**And this is where I grew up**_  
_**I think the present owner fixed it up**_  
_**I never knew we'd ever went without**_  
_**The second floor is hard for sneaking out**_

She went on a trip down memory lane and reminisced on the many adventures that she had accompanied him on in past years, and this year alone. Some of which included the fateful romantic cruise he had made for Baljeet and his friend, Mishti, the time he and Ferb attempted to make a rainbow for her, their trip around the world, including their stop in Paris (and, of course, their second trip to Paris, both of which traumatized Phineas severely)...no matter what, Phineas seemed horrified with each and every memory, all because in those memories, he wasn't "in love with" Isabella.

_**And this is where I went to school**_  
_**Most of the time had better things to do**_  
_**Criminal record says I've broken in twice**_  
_**I must have done it half a dozen times**_

_**I wonder if it's too late**_  
_**Should I go back and try to graduate?**_  
_**Life's better now than it was back then**_  
_**If I was them I wouldn't let me in**_

_**Oh oh oh**_  
_**Oh God I**_

It was during her painful trip down memory lane that she felt something on her neck. When she looked to her side again, she saw that it was Phineas, trying to give her a hug. She was reluctant to hug back, but after seeing him tear up after a few unresponsive moments, she did so. Phineas caught notice of the photographs. "What'cha lookin' at, Isabella?"

"Just an old photo album of our past adventures." She responded softly. Phineas observed the many photos in the album.

"Wow, we sure have had a lot of adventures in the summers before."

"Yes. Yes we have."

"Based on what we've done this summer, I'd say Ferb and I are still keeping up with our regime."

"I'd agree."

_**Every memory of looking out the back door**_  
_**I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time to say it**_  
_**Goodbye, goodbye**_

_**Every memory of walking out the front door**_  
_**I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time to say it**_  
_**Goodbye, goodbye**_

"Looking back at all these past adventures makes me realize that there's still so much stuff that we could do before summer ends, and I don't want to miss out on any of those opportunities."

"I don't think you will, Phineas."

"I would really like to get started tomorrow."

_**Remember the old arcade?**_  
_**Blew every dollar that we ever made**_  
_**The cops hated us hanging out**_  
_**They said somebody went and burned it down**_

"How about the day after tomorrow?"

"Huh? But-"

"Phineas, ever since we got together in California, you have been nothing but a nervous wreck around me. You've been traumatized over the responsibility of trying to keep me happy in our relationship, and that's a weight nobody should have to carry on their shoulders. I want you to be happy with me, but if you're just going to be miserable in a romantic relationship, then-"

"No, Isabella! Don't!"

"I wasn't gonna say that. What I _was_ going to say was...maybe we should just...slow down a little."

"You mean...break up?"

"No. Nothing like that at all. I mean, like, when we go out on dates, we shouldn't make them fancy. Let's just make them "playdates", fun little times where we just hang out like friends. Maybe that'll reduce the stress on you."

"I can't. Since that horrible day, I've vowed to always make our dates romantic, no matter what you said. Otherwise, you might come after me and...and..."

"You're afraid of me, aren't you? You're afraid that I'll just snap and start beating you up."

"S-S-Sometimes, yeah." He started crying again, and pulled away a little as she tried to get closer. But then, as quickly as he pulled away, he jumped right back in for a hug.

_**We used to listen to the radio**_  
_**And sing along with every song we know**_  
_**We said someday we'd find out how if feels**_  
_**To sing to more than just the steering wheel**_

_****__**Oh oh oh**_  
_**Oh God I**_  


"You're afraid of me, but in love with me? You're just so confused and it's getting to you."

"I'm not really afraid of you, Isabella. I'm just afraid of what you'll do to me if I mess up."

"But you shouldn't be. Because I don't want romance. I want attention and I know you always give that to me." She brushed his hair back and kissed him on the cheek as he let out a smile and a chuckle. "Tell you what. How about tomorrow, you and I go out, a day for just the two of us, and we just do what regular kids would do. You know, go to amusement parks, eat at fast food joints, skip rocks in the stream, that kind of stuff. No romance, no mushy-gushy stuff. Just you and me acting as friends."

"Oh, alright. I suppose no harm could come from that. But if I start feeling upset and feel like I need a hug and a kiss, I'll be going for one."

"And I'll be waiting to give you one." The two of them shared yet another hug as Phineas finished the last bite on his plate.

_**Every memory of looking out the back door**_  
_**I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time to say it**_  
_**Goodbye, goodbye**_

_**Every memory of walking out the front door**_  
_**I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time t**_

_**I miss that town  
I miss their faces  
You can't erase  
You can't replace it**_

_**I miss it now  
I can't believe it  
So hard to stay  
Too hard to leave it**_

"Would you feel comfortable if you slept here tonight?"

"Actually, yes, I would. If it's OK with our parents."

"I don't think we'll have a problem with that. I'll go ask my mom right now." She stood up from the bed and started to head out, before looking back and blowing him one final kiss. As she left the room, Perry managed to crawl in, back in his pet mode. He growled, alerting his prescence.

Phineas smiled. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

_**If I could I relive those days**_  
_**I know the one thing that would never change**_

_**Every memory of looking out the back door**_  
_**I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time to say it**_  
_**Goodbye, goodbye**_

_**Every memory of walking out the front door**_  
_**I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for**_  
_**It's hard to say it, time to say it**_  
_**Goodbye, goodbye**_

_**Look at this photograph**_  
_**Every time I do it makes me laugh**_  
_**Every time I do it makes me**_

* * *

Meanwhile, as the sun was setting, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was ordered by (the real) Dr. Hartman to bring himself to the Danville Hospital. He was checked into a room, and was awaiting a word from the doctor. Charlene and Vanessa joined him.

Finally, after a seemingly endless wait, Dr. Hartman came into the room, along with Major Monogram and Carl. "Dr. Hartman? Major Monogram? Dr. Coconut? What are you guys doing here?"

"We're here to give you our undying support for this operation." Monogram replied. "And what better way than to actually be a part of it?"

"I don't understand."

"Well, as it turns out, I'm a match to your kidney type. And when Agent P came by to alert me of the news, I decided to donate one of my kidneys to you."

All three Doofenshmirtz's gasped in joy. "You're serious?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed in sheer surprise.

"Yes. It's one thing when you're foiled by a good guy. But when you're foiled by the forces of nature, that's just something I can't allow."

"Oh, thank you, Francis! If I could hug you, I would."

"Don't mention it. And don't call me Francis!"

"Come on, then. Our window of opportunity is closing quickly. We must get the two of you to the operating room, stat!" Dr. Hartman shouted, as Doofenshmirtz was wheeled out of the room by Charlene and Vanessa. Monogram and Carl stayed back momentarily.

"You know, this is a pretty bold move on your part, sir." Carl said, admiring his boss's actions. "I would have thought with Doofenshmirtz being our enemy, you would have just stayed back and let him suffer so."

"If you mention any of this to any of the other agents, I swear to god you will regret ever taking this intern job of yours."

**To be continued...**

**A/N: It's not over yet. There's still one more part to this. BTW the song used was "Photograph" by Nickelback.**

**Next Time: Phineas continues on the road to recovery as Isabella takes him out for a day of fun. Meanwhile, Lawrence seeks advice over how to deal with his son's new revelation. Elsewhere, Kurt and Jeremy's bout for Candace continues, and in another subplot, Stacy goes on the newest, hottest dating game show called "Baggage" for a chance at love.**

**Expected Update: Check my profile for an expected update.**


	54. 44: Baggage

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 44: Baggage (Part 3)**

**Episode Summary: Isabella plans to take Phineas out for a day of "easy, non-romantic" fun, hoping to clear his mind of the painful thoughts that have traumatized him so. But Phineas has other plans. Meanwhile,, Kurt & Jeremy's bout for Candace continues, and Stacy goes on a new dating game show named "Baggage", a show where contestant reveal ****embarrassing**** and emotional secrets, for a chance at love.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun rose up on a new day in Danville. The blaring sun blasted right through Isabella's window and disturbed her peaceful sleep. She turned on her side and stared lovingly at the love of her life, who was snoring lightly right beside her. _He's such an angel._ She thought. It appeared as though Phineas had not slept much at all, and had spent the better part of the night crying, as his eyes had really dark circles around them. She stroked his hair lightly and pulled herself into a hug. Phineas, upon sensing that Isabella was embracing him, opened his eyes and allowed his blurred vision to see the girl he loved so much hugging him.

"Good morning, Isabella." He said gently as she hugged him tighter.

"Good morning, my sweet little hero." She replied, wiping a bit of drool from his mouth and tears from his eyes.

"Please, you don't have to call me that."

"But you _are_ my hero, Phineas."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are, and I don't mind telling you that. Now, did you sleep well? Because I see you were crying for a bit last night."

"Yeah, I had a bad dream last night. But then, it got me to thinking, and...I guess I realized that it doesn't matter what the two of us do together, just as long as we are together. To be absolutely honest with you, I just want things to go back to the way things were before we got together, while at the same time, I don't want to lose these wonderful feelings I have for you."

"Trust me, you won't." She sat them both up and kissed him again. Seeing a smile on his face lit her up and that alone would be able to get her through the day. "I'm glad you're feeling better, and hopefully, this won't happen again."

"Isabella, you know there are going to be times where I feel like I'm not good enough for you. So, when those times come, promise that you'll be there for me to comfort me and to tell me otherwise?"

"I promise I will. You'll never have to worry about that. Now come on." She quickly took the blankets off of her and got out of bed, excited over the day they were planning to have. However, Phineas wasn't so quick to jump out with her. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I just...I just don't want to get out of bed yet."

"You mean you don't want to go on our "date" today?"

"NO! No, not that!" He sat up quickly and jumped out of bed, and rushed over to her. "See? I'm ready."

"No, that's not what I meant, and you know it." She took a closer look at him and saw dark circles under his eyes. "You look exhausted, Phineas. Do you want to go back to sleep for a little while?"

"Uh-uh, Isabella. I promised you a date today, and you're going to-" She interrupted him by placing a finger over his mouth. He was once again doing exactly what she didn't want him to do. But he couldn't help himself. He was just overcome with guilt again and he looked like he was about to cry again. He really wanted to cry, and Isabella could see that.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" She asked again; this time, he reluctantly nodded his head.

"But not for the whole day. Just for a little while longer. Then we'll go out on the date."

"Hey, if you don't want to, just tell me. I don't mind just staying in bed all day with you, watching you dream the day away and letting you know how much I love you." Phineas let out a soft chuckle. "Why don't you crawl back under the covers for a little while? I'll go down and see if breakfast is ready, and I'll ask my mom to save you something. Then, when I'm done, I'll come back up here, and if you don't want to go on our date, we can just lie in bed all day. I wouldn't mind."

"OK, Isabella. If you say so."

"Now, is there anything I can get you before you go back to sleep?"

"Well, there was _one_ thing I wanted, but..."

"But what?"

"I guess a hug and a kiss goodnight would be out of the question, huh? I thought so."

"Stop it, Phineas." She leaned in and hugged & kissed him. "Physical and/or emotional affection is never too much to ask for. I'm here for you better or worse, and I'll always have a hug and kiss ready for you. Now come on. You could use some more sleep."

She slowly led him towards the bed, and he reluctantly climbed in. But not before he gave Isabella one last kiss as she left the room to have some breakfast. "I love you too, Phineas." She left the room quietly as he got comfortable and closed the door behind her, and it was only after she heard Phineas start to snore lightly again did she feel satisfied and leave to have some breakfast.

"How is he?" Her mother, Vivian, asked when she arrived at the table.

"He's getting better. He just went back to sleep. When I'm finished eating, I'm gonna go back up and check on him, and do what every loving wife does: make him a nice breakfast and give him a good morning kiss."

"I think he would like that very much."

"I hope so. I love him so much and it hurts me to see him upset in any way. Hopefully I can use today to cheer him up."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere out deep into Tri-State Area, a game show taping was about to commence.

"Live from Danville! It's time for everybody's favorite dating show: Baggage!" Yelled the announcer as the audience erupted into cheers. "And now, here's your host...Christian Potenza!"

The "Total Drama" star took the stage as the audience's cheering grew louder. "Thank you, thank you. You're all too kind." He responded, quickly calming them down. "Welcome to Baggage, the game show where guys and girls reveal embarrassing and emotional secrets for a chance at love. Let's meet our lucky Bachelorette..." Who just so happened to be standing on stage with him. "She's a 17 year old girl of Hispanic Japanese descent, likes to play the guitar, and her mother hopes to one day have her commit to a major profession. Please welcome Stacy!"

The audience gave her a quick round of applause before Christian continued. "Now, Stacy's got a little secret of hers that she's going to share with us at the end of the show. What could that secret possibly be?" The audience let out a light "oooh." "Did she attempt to send out a hit man on her best friend's mom because she was being mean to her?" The audience let out a slightly louder "oooh". "Was she tricked by an ex to drain her parents' bank accounts?" Now came "oooh's" and "aaah's". "Or...Did she kiss one of her friends after mistaking her for a guy with a buzzcut?" This secret really pushed all the audience members into overdrive, as they all started shouting stuff to Stacy in amazement. "Hold your horses, people. We'll get to that later on. But first, Stacy has to meet her lucky bachelors. First, he's a Senior graduate who is looking for a master's degree in Economics...let's meet Roger."

A very tall, lean, but not masculine boy, about 6 foot, came into the studio and stood by a stack of suitcases, organized from smallest to biggest.

"Next, we have a very fine looking genius here, if I do say so myself. He hopes to. Please welcome Jesse!"

A much taller and much more masculine, darker-skinned boy, came in and stood next to the second stack of suitcases.

"Finally, he's a baseball fanatic who is currently awaiting his call up to the big leagues in the hopes of playing for his favorite team: The San Fransisco Giants. Please welcome Rick!"

A shorter, but extremely cute boy, around Stacy's height, came in with a #25 San Fransisco Giants' jersey, in memory of his favorite Giants player, Barry Bonds. Stacy took an instant liking to him, as she had done with the other two boys.

"Welcome, boys. Now, here's the basic lay-down. As each round progresses, each gentleman will open up a piece of their baggage, starting with the smallest, gradually working our way up to the biggest piece of baggage. By the time we're done, Stacy will have to choose between one of these three guys. But more on that later. First, let's get this party started. Roger, would you please open your smallest piece of baggage?"

Roger clasped his hands together, and then proceeded to open the baggage. As soon as it was revealed, the audience gasped, with a small mixture of laughter in it, as Potenza read aloud the message inside. "'I watch 21 hours of television a day.' Yikes."

"Dude, there's only 24 hours in a day!" Stacy shouted once the mockery from the audience died down. "What do you do with the other 3 hours?"

"I work out. Gotta keep myself in shape." Roger replied.

"What about sleep?"

"Sleep is for suckers."

"OK, moving on. Jesse?" Jesse proceeded to open his baggage, and once again, there were shocked reactions from the audience. "'I'm terrified of stuffed animals.'" Potenza read. "OK...I'll buy. What gives?"

"See, when I was younger, my mother bought me an E.T. stuffed doll." Jesse explained. "And ever since there, any kind of stuffed animal gives me the creeps. I mean, have you seen them? They're creepy looking."

"Alright then. That's original. Rick?" Rick opened his baggage, and again, shocked reactions. "'I eat 8 sticks of chalk a day.'"

"Wow, that's kind of...strange." Stacy remarked. "OK, what's up with that?"

"To be honest, I don't know myself." Rick replied. "One day, I was drawing on the sidewalk with my chalk, and I got curious. I got curious and wondered what they tasted like. I ate a small piece and I...I kinda liked it. So I ate another piece, and now, 2 weeks later, I'm eating 8 sticks a day." He took out a stick of chalk and took a big bite of it.

"Isn't that kinda unhealthy?"

"Eh, I don't know. Don't really care, either."

"Now I know why lots of people love this show." Potenza remarked. "This is...kinda sad. But funny as heck anyway. And this is only the beginning. Stick around, because next round is the "Deal-breaker" round, where Stacy will have to send one of these gentlemen packing. Stay with us."

* * *

Back at Isabella's house, Isabella had just finished up her breakfast and was about to go back upstairs carrying Phineas's breakfast, when Phineas had decided to come downstairs and head home. "Where are you going, Phineas?" Isabella asked before he was about to head out the door. She put his breakfast down on the table and approached him.

"I'm going home." He replied.

"But don't you want breakfast?"

"Of course, Isabella. That's why I'm going home."

"But I said I would cook you a nice breakfast."

"I know that. It's just...I-I kinda feel weird saying this, but..."

"But what?"

"I miss my mom making me breakfast."

"Wait, so is this what it's about? Do you miss your family? But you get to see them nearly every day."

"Yeah, but Mom always goes out running errands or hanging out with your mom, so I don't get to see her as much as I want to."

"Aww, you miss your mommy. I think that's so sweet." She hugged him tightly and kissed him. "You just want to spend time with your mommy. OK, how about you stay and have some breakfast, and then, when you're done, I'll take you home and we'll talk to your mom about this. How does that sound?"

"You would really do that?"

"Sure. I love you, and I hate seeing you upset. Come on. Let's have breakfast. My mom made up big, juicy pancakes with thick strips of bacon on the side."

"Mmm, sounds tasty. Except...doesn't that sound a little bit...fattening, to you?"

"Phineas, you took off over a pound in less than a day. You've gotta put some weight back on. Besides, I want to keep your cute little tushie as firm as I can."

"Alright, alright, I get the picture. OK, I'll eat something. But then I wanna go home to see my family. I miss them alot."

"Don't worry. I promise you'll get to see them soon."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the Tri-State, Kurt and Jeremy were just about to finish their marathon. They both crawled, literally crawled, to the finish line, with the other 26.1 miles of the race having zapped them of every strength they had. The hope of the race was to get Jeremy off of Candace's case once and for all, but unfortunately, that plan did not come to fruition, as both were somehow able to crawl across the finish line at the exact same time.

"Oh...*pant*...my...*pant*...god!" Jeremy said between wheezing and gasping for air. "That was..." Another huff. "...the worst physical activity...ever."

"What a dumb idea!" Kurt responded. He wasn't nearly out of breath, like Jeremy, but his muscles hurt twice as much. "And we even tied! This didn't work at all!"

"How am...*pant*...I...*pant*...going to...*pant*...explain this to...*pant*...my mom?"

"I don't know. But this isn't over yet!"

"What are you...*pant*...talking about?"

"It was a tie! Duh. We can't have a tie. We need a winner."

"Well what...*pant*...do you have in mind...*pant*...punk?"

After taking some time off to recover their strange, the two men decided to head off to the training facility. "Alright, you want a challenge? I'll give you a challenge." Kurt responded as they headed over to the weight area. They both grabbed empty poles and lifted them up, onto their shoulders. "Whoever can hold the most weight on their backs without dropping the dung-bell wins. Got it?"

"One problem, genius. Who are we gonna get to put the weights on our poles?"

"We could help you guys." Two very fit and lean women responded as they approached them, holding 25 pound weights in their hands. "We just love watching a weight lifting competition."

"Good. Hey, how much are you holding?"

"25 pounds? Why?"

"No reason. OK." Kurt turned to Jeremy. "Every few minutes, the girls will tack on 25 pound weights onto our poles. Last man standing wins."

"Sounds good to me. You ready to lose?"

"Eat my dust, Johnson."

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, Phineas had just finished up his breakfast and was taken back to his house by Isabella, who was more than willing to walk him home. Once they arrived home, Isabella explained the situation to Phineas's family members, who all took an expression of surprise by this revelation.

"Phineas, why didn't you say anything to us?" Linda asked as she hugged her son tightly.

"I was embarrassed, Mom. What was I supposed to say? "I'm lonely and I want you all to stop what you're doing and spend time with me!"? I couldn't possibly say that to you guys, because I know you like to go out, Mom, and hang out with your friends."

"Well, yes, I do like to spend time with friends. But that doesn't mean you should keep something like this bottled up inside of you. If you were feeling this before, you should have come to us."

"Yeah, and stop you from having a life?" Phineas replied sarcastically, and rather bitterly. "I'm sorry, Mom. I was way out of line, there."

"But Phineas, it's OK to say that you're lonely sometimes." Isabella said. "Sometimes we all just need a day to spend with our families."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel lonely." Linda pulled her son into a tight hug.

"It's not your fault, Mom. I guess I'm just anxious and exhausted."

"I'll tell you what. How about we all go out for a family fun day. No distractions, no worries, just family fun."

"But you have your cooking class today."

"So? I can afford to miss it once in a while. Besides, knowing how to cook a flambeé is not worth my son's happiness."

"Is Candace going to be there?"

"No, I'm sorry, Phineas. She said she had to go out; wanted to support Stacy for something. She said something about a game show."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Lawrence jumped in quickly. "Let's get ourselves ready and go."

As the family all erupted into cheers, Isabella, seeing the smile on Phineas's face led her to believe that he would be OK. So she stood up from the couch and proceeded to leave, only to be stopped by the sound of his voice. "Isabella!" He shouted. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home, so you can enjoy your day with your family." She replied calmly, hoping not to disturb his peaceful state of mind.

"But...But I..."

"Phineas, you wanted to spend the day with your family. And I'm not your family-"

"Yes you are, Isabella! You are!" He shouted as he ran up to her and tackled her to the ground, hugging her as tightly as he could. "I love you so much, and I consider you a part of this family. You have to come with us! I couldn't bare to spend a minute without you." He cried loudly into her chest as she wrapped her arms around him and embraced him.

"It's OK, Phineas. I'll be here when you get back. But right now, you should spend today with your family."

"But Isa-"

"I'll be fine. An you will, too. I guarantee you that you'll have so much fun you won't even think about me."

"That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that I'll enjoy it so much I'll forget all about you. I don't want to forget about you."

"Phineas, I'll be right here when you get back. I promise. Then we can spend more time together doing whatever you want. But right now, your family is waiting for you."

Phineas turned around and glanced at his family, seeing all smiles on their faces enlightened his spirit, but seeing Isabella's smile diminished it again. "I don't know if I can, Isabella."

"Trust me. Once you start having fun, you won't even think about me."

"And you'll be here when we get back?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Pinky swear?" He held out a pinky finger.

"Pinky swear." She replied as she held up her pinky finger. "I'll see you later." She kissed him once more before heading out the door. She was truly confident that Phineas would be able to let go of her for just one day in order to have fun with his family. But Phineas wasn't. Tear swelled up in his eyes again as Ferb went up to comfort him.

"Don't be discouraged. It's just for a few hours." He told him. "Besides, we're all going to Adventure Land."

"Adventure Land? I love that amusement park. But wait, what about Candace?"

"I told you, she's not going to be with us." Linda replied. "She's doing something with Stacy."

"Oh. OK, then. But she's going to be missing out on the fun."

"That's the spirit! Now, go get ready, boys."

Phineas and Ferb both ran upstairs as fast as they could and got themselves ready to go to the amusement park.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stacy had her own problems, as her search for a boy was taking a turn for the worse, as the game progressed. Candace and Jenny were both in the audience, cheering Stacy on.

"Welcome back to Baggage." Potenza spoke. "Now that we've gotten to know our gentlemen a little, it's time to go deeper into the realm of emotional and embarrassing secrets. As you can see, we've sat down our gentlemen in our waiting area and have shuffled their medium sized baggage, so the only ones who know what's inside the suitcases are the owners themselves. One by one I will reveal another piece of baggage, and at the end, Stacy will have to choose to choose one and label that as her "deal breaker", the one which she feels she simply cannot handle, and the owner of that baggage will have to leave immediately. Clear? OK. Let's begin with Bag #1."

Potenza moved to the piece of baggage closest to her, and proceeded to open it. Slowly revealing it, the audience let out shocked outbursts, a routine which would follow for the remainder of the game. "'I've been in 2 separate accidents with the same driver.' OK, so is this guy like, a stalker or something?" Laughs came from the audience and Stacy. "Bag #2." Potenza moved to the next baggage and opened it, and read it aloud. "'I traded my father's guitar for a pack of cheap baseball cards.'" The audience released even more shocked outbursts, as Potenza chuckled. "Wait, I'm confused? So the baseball cards were on the receiving part of the trade? Yikes, this guy would make a horrible economist. Bag #3." He moved onto the final bag and opened it, and this one was the worst of them all. "'I use a ditch I dug up in my backyard as a bathroom.' I wonder what he uses as toilet paper." The audience laughed as Potenza walked over to Stacy.

"Wow...this is, uh, very creepy." Stacy said to herself, though Potenza was able to hear her.

"I know, right? It's awesome. Now that we've opened all three pieces of baggage, I want to hear your concerns over them. Let's start with number one, over here. 'I've been in 3 separate accidents with the same driver.'"

"I don't even know what to say about that one." Stacy commented. "It's like he's a very bad driver, or even a stalker of some sorts. It just makes me feel uncomfortable."

"'I traded my father's guitar for a pack of cheap baseball cards.'"

"Um, obviously, this guy doesn't know the value of a dollar. Unless, of course, it was a cheap guitar, because then, the trade would've been plausible."

"O...kay. And, uh #3: I use a ditch I dug up in my backyard as a bathroom."

"That one is just disgusting. I can't imagine how that would work."

"Me neither. Alright, so now that we've seen all three piece of baggage, I need you to choose the one that you just can't handle. Whoever claims that baggage will be going home. So, Stacy? What is your deal breaker?"

The audience members starting yelling suggestions out to Stacy, who took a long moment to think over the agonizing decision. "My deal breaker is..." She finally said after making a choice. "'I use a ditch behind my house as a bathroom'." The audience groaned upon hearing this announcement.

"Ooh, I had a feeling you would say that. OK, gentlemen. The time has come for you to claim your baggage."

The three boys stood up from their chairs and walked over to the suitcases. Initially, each stood beside one of the cases and everybody believed that it was a done deal. But, as per their contracts, they quickly swapped places numerous times to fool everybody before finally stopping at their real destinations. When all was said and done, it was Roger who was packing up to go.

"Roger." Potenza appeared physically surprised to see him standing there. "What happened? Come on. Enlighten us."

"Well, see, a few months ago, we had this big plumbing problem and as a result, we had no access to toilets for, like, a week. I was desperate, and I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I resorted to digging a ditch behind our house. The plumbing came back a few days later, but, I realized that I liked relieving myself in the wilderness that I stopped using toilets altogether-"

"OK, OK, I get it. No need to go any further. I'm sorry, Roger. But it's time to pack up and go."

Roger was disappointed that Stacy had chosen his baggage as her "deal breaker", but he accepted it gracefully, closed his luggage, and left the room. (**A/N: His biggest piece of baggage was "I owe $14,000 in speeding tickets")**

"And then there were two. Which one of these devilishly handsome gentlemen will Stacy choose? And later, will they be able to accept Stacy's baggage?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, what are you talking about?" Stacy shouted, clearly confused.

"Haven't you ever seen this show? At the end, we get to reveal an embarrassing secret from you, and then _they_ get to choose whether to accept it or not."

"I never agreed to that!"

"Yes, yes you did. Next time, try reading your contract, moron. What embarrassing secret is there to reveal about Stacy? Did she hire a hit man to try and harass her best friend's mother because she was mean to her?" The audience groaned in excitement. "Was she tricked by an ex boyfriend to drain her parents' bank accounts?" More shocked reactions. "Or did she once kiss her best friend after accidentally mistaking them for a guy with a buzz cut?" This possibility brought out the worst expressions from the audience. "We'll find out later one. Don't go away!"

* * *

Back at the Danvile Training Facility, Jeremy and Kurt were at each other's throats trying to out-do the other. Each were going at it for about 20 minutes now, and both were holding approximately 100 pounds on their barbells. Both of them appeared to still be maintaining perfect composure.

"Getting heavy, huh?" Kurt remarked after noticing that Jeremy started sweating a bit.

"No way. This is nothing. I do 10 times this in my sleep." Jeremy lied, chuckling a bit to try and convince Kurt otherwise, though he wasn't buying it.

"Please. Nobody could do _that_. You're talking out of your butt."

"And _you're_ any better than that."

"Yeah I am! First of all, unlike you, I don't judge people based on the way they act or look. I try to look past that and see them for the person they are on the inside. Yes, Candace is clearly not the most beautiful girl out there. But, she is intelligent, elegant, funny, and I feel comfortable around her. I could only imagine what you felt around her."

"That's all a bunch of garbage."

"_You're_ a bunch of garbage! Ladies, more weight, please." The ladies obeyed and put another 25 pound weight on their barbells. "Feeling the burn? You're starting to sweat."

"You'll cave before I do."

"I doubt it, Johnson."

"We'll see, whatever-the-heck-your-last-name-is. Ladies, more weight!" The ladies added another 25 pound weight to their barbells. Both were now holding up 150 pounds. "You're going down, and Candace will be mine once and for all!"

"Not if I have anything to see about it! Ladies, more weight!" And the ladies put on another weight on their barbell.

"More weight!" Jeremy yelled again. Pretty soon, each boy took turns yelling that very command out to the ladies, and the ladies simply kept stacking on the pounds.

* * *

Phineas and Ferb, along with the rest of the family (excluding Candace) had all piled into the car and had driven off to Adventure Land with the intention to have a wonderful time as a family. However, during the car ride there, Phineas continued to have only one thing on his mind: Isabella, the love of his life. His agitation led him to clench his seat tightly with his hands, almost to the point where he ripped the fabric off the seat. He did his best, though, to hide it from his family.

They found a parking space and bought all-day-game-wrist-bands, which gave Phineas and Ferb unlimited tickets so they could ride all the rides as much as they want. This little gift from his parents boosted Phineas's morale as he and Ferb began to ride some of the rides. Although Phineas was able to express genuine excitement, deep inside, he still had his best friend on his mind.

"Man, that roller coaster was awesome!" Phineas remarked. "I almost lost my breakfast." He turned to Ferb. "We could do better than that in our sleep."

"Definitely." Ferb agreed.

"Still, it's nice to just get out once in a while and not worry about having to build anything extraordinary. So Ferb, what do you want to do now?"

Ferb was about to reply when his stomach started growling, indicating that it was close to lunch time.

"It sounds like you're hungry. Yeah, I'm getting a little peckish myself. Let's find Mom & Dad and go find a food court."

They found their parents and the four of them decided to head over to the nearest food court, where they were treated to only the most delicious hamburgers sold in an amusement park. "So Phineas, are you enjoying yourself?" Linda asked her son.

"You know what? I am." Phineas responded honestly. "I am enjoying myself. And the best part is that I haven't thought about Isabella once since we got here-" It was then that he caught a glimpse of a little girl with a pink bow, much like Isabella's, holding a teddy bear in her arms and giggling, a laugh similar to Isabella's. "Uh oh."

"Phineas, it's OK." Lawrence said. "It's not Isabella. It's another little girl."

"I know, but she looks and sounds a lot like Isabella. I'm starting to miss her now."

"That's OK. We've been here for nearly 2 hours. What do you say we stay for another hour and then head home?"

"Well, OK. I guess that sounds alright. I can't wait to see her again. I miss her a lot. Maybe I should just give her a call to just hear her voice." He took out his cell phone and dialed Isabella's cell number, and waited for her to answer.

"_Hello."_

"Hi, Isabella."

"_Oh, hi, Phineas. How's your family day out going?"_

"Fine, fine. I'm really having a good time."

"_Glad to hear it. So, why are you calling?"_

"Oh, you know, cause I miss you."

"_Aw, that's so sweet. I miss you too, but I know you're having fun."_

"We'll be back in about an hour or so. OK?"

_"Sounds like a plan. See you soon, Phineas."_

"Oh, and Isabella...I love you."

"_I love you too, Phineas."_ The line suddenly went dead, and Phineas hung up his phone. He grinned from ear to ear having heard Isabella's voice.

"OK, I feel better now. Let's go. There are still some rides I want to go on before we leave here."

* * *

Back with Stacy, she had narrowed her options for boys down to two, and it was time for the second-to-last round.

"Welcome back! We've opened up tons of baggage and gotten lots of laughs out of them. But now, we're down to two men, and Stacy has to choose between one of them. It's time to reveal their biggest piece of baggage! Jesse, we'll start with you."

Jesse took in a deep breath and opened his luggage, which was met with shouting and harassing from the audience. "I'm a high school dropout." Potenza read. Stacy's mouth nearly hit the ground once those words were spoken. "Whoa, dude. That's heavy. Wanna explain that to us?"

"It all started a year ago. See, I got in trouble for defacing the school's cafeteria with spray paint, writing profanity on the wall and stuff. Problem was, I didn't do it. One of my friends did. But the staff wouldn't believe me. I got suspended for a month, and even after I was proven innocence, they were so stuck up and arrogant that they wouldn't let me back in. So, after a long and painful lawsuit with such excruciating details that I won't go into, my parents got me back in. But, I wasn't satisfied."

"So to get back at them, you dropped out at high school?" Stacy asked.

"No, I lit the entire building on fire." Everybody in the room gasped. "Don't worry, nobody was killed. But the principal was so mad he was going to expel me, and _that's_ when I dropped out, so I could leave on _my_ terms, not theirs."

"OK...moving on." Potenza said quickly, almost cutting Jesse off. "Rick, please open yours, and save us before we all bolt for the door." Rick opened his baggage quickly, and was again met with shocked and amazed reactions. "I've legally changed my name 3 times. Alright, that's just...that's just wrong. Rick, what's the deal with that?"

"The thing is...Rick isn't my real name."

"I gathered."

"My real name is Rhonda."

There was a slight pause in between exchanges, before Potenza broke out into hysterical laughter. "Rhonda? Are you serious?" Soon enough, the entire audience joined in, including Candace, as well as Jesse, and the production crew. The only one not laughing was Stacy, though she really wanted to. Inside, she was laughing her butt off.

"It's not funny, man."

"It's hilarious, dude! I can't wait to meet your mom someday and tell her what a moron she is!" It took a couple of minutes for Potenza to settle down before he could continue with the show. "Sorry, dude. But that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Ahem. Anyway, Stacy, now that you've seen all 3 pieces of baggage from each of these gentlemen, it's time to send one more of them on their way."

"So, Stacy, I have to ask you...which one of these gentlemen has too much baggage for you? Is it Jesse, who is terrified of stuffed animals, once traded his father's guitar for a pack of worthless baseball cards, and is a high school dropout? Or Rick who eats 8 pieces of chalk a day, has gotten into 2 accidents with the same driver, and has legally changed his name three times?"

Stacy had to think long and hard about this decision. It was agonizing for her, as she didn't want to hurt either boy's feelings. She completely ignored the suggestions coming from the audience, and came to a decision herself. "I'm sorry...Jesse, but you've got too much baggage."

The audience "ooh'd" and "ahh'd" at the choice, as they had all assumed that she would pick him over Rick. "I'm sorry, Jesse." Potenza said. "But it's time to pack up and go."

"That's OK. It's your loss, babe." Jesse said, rather bitter over the fact that Stacy didn't choose him. "You don't know this, but I've just received a scholarship to Yale."

"OH yeah?" Potenza questioned. "What is it? A clown scholarship?" He broke out into laughter, though it didn't last long, because Jesse walked up to him and kicked him in his private parts, causing him to fall to the ground, moaning in pain. "Ow!"

"Martial Arts, jerk."

"OK, you've made your point. Ugh. Cut to commercial!"

* * *

The Flynn-Fletcher day at the amusement park was coming to an end, and they were all piling into their car, having enjoyed an adventurous, fun-filled day at Adventure Land.

"So, I take it you had fun, Phineas?" Linda asked as she started up the car.

"You bet! It was one of the best days of my life." Phineas replied, having enjoyed himself at the park. "Thanks for doing this, you guys. It wasn't really necessary."

"Not necessary? I beg to differ."

"No, really, it wasn't."

"Phineas, I hardly consider "family quality time" not necessary." Lawrence jumped in. "Now let's all go home."

"Aw, do we have to?" Phineas whined.

"Yes, Phineas. They're closing for the day. And besides, Isabella's waiting for you at home. Don't you want to see her?"

Phineas gasped in delight. "Oh yeah. I forgot. I was having so much fun. Boy, she was right. This day out with my family was just what I needed. But now, I can't wait to get back home and play with her. I love her so much."

"We know." Ferb answered monotone.

"Hey, I can't help it. She's just so affectionate."

And so, the Flynn-Fletcher drove off into town, and back to their neighborhood, where they pulled up to their house, and prepared to relax in the comfort of their home after spending nearly a whole day out. And sure enough, Isabella was waiting in the front yard for them, and was delighted to see a happy Phineas come out of the car.

"Phineas!" She shouted happily as he ran up to her and hugged her as tightly as he could.

"Isabella! I'm so happy to see you."

"Aw, looks like somebody missed me."

"Of course I missed you. But, I put you in the back of my mind for the time being and enjoyed the amusement park. I only thought about you once."

"That's great, Phineas."

"Yeah. In fact, I feel so great that I don't even want to hang out with you today." He suddenly clasped his mouth shut, realizing what he just said. "Oh no. No, no t-th-that's not what I meant at all. I-I didn't mean it like that. I mean...I-I-" He began to stutter as he tried to recover. He didn't mean what he said; he was simply feeling joyous and optimistic again. "I..."

"It's OK, Phineas." But Isabella was quick to understand. "I'll go home if you want me to. I know you really wanted to-"

"No, NO! I finished my family time with them. I want to spend time with you, now. I-I didn't mean any of that stuff I just said. I love you, Isabella. Honest. You gotta believe me!"

"I _do_ believe you, Phineas. You're just confused and tired. Come on, let's get you inside and tucked into bed."

"But it's only 4:00."

"Yeah, and look at you. I've never see such dark circles around your eyes. Come on, Phineas. It's nap time." She slowly took his hand, and led the exhausted boy inside the house and up the stairs to his room, where he changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed. He didn't fall asleep right away, as he waited for Isabella to crawl into bed next to him and comfort him, which she didn't do right away.

"Isabella, what are you doing?" He asked as she tried to leave the room. "Where are you going?"

"I'm...I'm going home, Phineas."

"But why?"

"So you can rest. I figured you wouldn't want me to hang around and disturb you."

"Are you kidding, Isabella? That's what I was counting on. I want you to stay with me and keep me company."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Y-You're the only thing that helps me get to sleep lately. I love you so much and I want to wake up knowing that the first thing I see is your adorable, cuddly face."

"Aw, do you mean that?"

"Yeah. So come on. Jump in. I could use a cuddle buddy."

"I have to go home, though. I want to be in time for dinner, and I don't think my mom would appreciate me being late."

"I'm sure she'll understand. Please, Isabella." He gave her the old "Puppy-dog eyes" routine, which she usually didn't fall for. But this time, she could tell that Phineas was being genuine and that he wasn't joking around with her. He really wanted her to stay and comfort him. Tears started falling from his eyes, as he couldn't bare to spend another minute apart from her.

"How about I stay until you fall asleep? Seriously, Phineas, I have to go home. But, I'll be back for you later."

"But it's not the same!" And it was then that he started crying his eyes out like a bay, jumping out of bed and rushing over to her, hugging her tightly.

"Oh, Phineas. Shh, it's OK. I'm right here." She quickly returned the hug and tried to calm him down. "Listen, I have to go. But I promise you I'll be back to say goodnight."

"P-Promise?" He looked up at her.

"Promise." She replied as she kissed him sweetly on the cheek, then helped him back into bed. "I love you, Phineas. Never forget that." Were her last words before she left the room to return home.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kurt & Jeremy's bout had come to a screeching halt. After going at it for about 2 hours, and carrying a whopping 500 pounds each, both had to stop their little competition, as both had succumbed to the enormous weight they were holding. They both suffered muscle & shoulder soreness from the barbells and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. During the ride, they both had some time to think about what had transpired over the past few days.

"Hey, Jeremy?"

"Yeah, dude?"

"I've been thinking, and...these past couple of days, we've kinda been doing some stupid stuff, huh?" Kurt proposed.

"Yeah. I mean, none of this was really worth it, when you think about it. And all for a girl? Look, dude, for what it's worth, I'm sorry I put you through this."

"That's alright, man. I would've done the same if I was as big of a jerk as you were. Let's just make a promise to each other right now that we'll never do anything this stupid over a girl again."

"I don't know about that. I like lifting weights. It's how I stay in shape."

"No, that's not what I said. I said let's never do it over a _girl_ again."

"Oh, OK. I get ya. Alright, deal. Never over a girl."

"And Candace never has to find out about this."

"Gotcha."

"I'd say let's shake on it. But, I can't feel my arms at all."

"Yeah, me neither. I hope this isn't permanent."

"Nah, I don't think so. We should have the feeling come back to us in about 24 hours, give or take."

"My mom's gonna kill me if she ever finds out I did this."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be you."

* * *

Back with Stacy, the time had come for the all important final round, where the tables were turned against her.

"Welcome back to Baggage!" Potenza announced as the show came back from commercial. "Now it's time for our final round, where the tables are turned, and now, it's Rick who has to decide whether or not Stacy has too much baggage. Inside this big red bag is an embarrassing secret of Stacy's, and now, she's going to reveal it to you all."

"Do I have to?" Stacy asked.

"Yes, you have to. What _is_ the big secret that's lurking in the bag? Did Stacy attempt to send out a hit man on her best friend's mother? Was she tricked by an ex boyfriend to drain her parents' bank accounts? Or did she accidentally kiss her best friend after mistaking them for a guy with a buzz cut?" All three choices caused the audience to send various reactions. "Rick, of those three choices, which would be the hardest to accept?"

"I would say that last one." Rick replied. "I mean, I don't know the whole story, but that's just kinda weird, unless she's talking about another guy."

"Let's hope so, pal. Stacy, please reveal your baggage." The audience clapped in anticipation as Stacy slowly began to open her baggage. She was hesitant, but eventually, she did open it, and the results were shocking to the audience.

"I kissed my best friend after mistaking them for a guy with a buzz cut." Potenza read aloud, and waited for the audience to settle down. "Wow. That's kinda...Stacy, please explain yourself."

"Well, see, a couple of years ago, I was at this crazy party with my best friend, and I got all hyped up on chocolate mousses, because, well, chocolate mousses kinda mess with my head and cause me to not think straight. Anyway, after having about 4 or 5, I started feeling really dazed and my vision was blurry. And then, I saw what I thought was this really cute guy sitting at the bar ordering a soda. And my instincts at this point were so messed up, and they were telling me to just rush up and kiss him, and that's what I did."

"Sounds like you got a good one in."

"Oh yeah. I managed to sustain a 3 1/2 minute kiss."

"Impressive. I know I'm probably going to get fired for this, but...who was this dazzling guy you kissed. Where is he?"

Stacy hesitated in her answer. She looked over at her best friend Candace and slowly lifted her arm to point at her. "_She's_ right there." At this point, the audience had lost it and started yelling some random things out as Candace sunk deep into her seat. Regretfully, she remembered that fateful day as well, and had never lived it down. After Stacy came to, and realized that she had made out with her own best friend, both had sworn to never tell a soul, and nobody had known since that day...until now, of course. "Her name is Candace, and she's my best friend in the world."

"_What_?" Rick shouted in pure shock and disgust.

"I second that. _What_?"

"Hey, don't blame me. I was hyped up on chocolate mousses. I couldn't think straight."

"You made out with your own best friend for nearly 4 minutes!" Rick shouted, frustrated and visibly confused.

"And that's not even the worst of it."

"You mean there's more?" Potenza asked.

"Out of all the guys I have kissed, _she_ was the best." The audience got riled up once again, and Candace sank even deeper into her seat until she was visible no more.

"OK, OK, folks. Calm down. I know this is good television, but we can't risk burning down the place. Now, Stacy, Rick has to make a choice. If he believes he can accept your baggage, you two will enjoy a romantic dinner, all expenses paid, to the Araxi restaurant in Whistler, British Colombia. If he doesn't-"

"He's leaving." Stacy interrupted, noting that Rick was trying to leave.

"Hey, buddy!" Potenza shouted, turning around and seeing Rick. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to change my name again! To something that you don't know and can never pronounce!" He shouted back and left through one of the emergency exits. The audience "aww'd", feeling bad for Stacy, as she sulked in her spot.

"Well, nice knowing you...Rhonda."

"_IT'S RICK!"_ He was heard shouting before being out of sight for good. Potenza turned to Stacy.

"I'm sorry, Stacy. Tough luck, there. But hey, look at the bright side."

"What bright side?"

"There _is_ none! Hahaha! You just humiliated yourself in front of 50,000 guys that will never want to go out with you! And that's just in our studio audience. Just imagine the ratings when this hits TV. But remember...life is a journey, so travel light. I'm Christian Potenza, and Total Drama Reloaded hits the Television Summer of 2011! Goodnight, everybody!"

* * *

Later that night, Phineas was about to settle down for the night in bed when he heard a knocking sound at his window. He turned to see that it was Isabella, wanting to climb in. But, still feeling dejected from earlier, he turned his back and crossed his arms, hoping that she wouldn't see his tears.

"Phineas, let me in." She said calmly. No response. "Don't make me force myself in." She took out a laser pen and prepared to turn it on. Phineas realized that it would mean a hole in the window, something he would have to explain to his parents, and got out of bed to let her in.

"What do you want?" He asked as he shut the window and returned to bed.

"I came to keep you company, just like I said I would. Are you OK?"

"OK? OK? No, I'm not OK." He got himself comfortable under the covers. "Isabella, do you have any idea what you put me through earlier. I was relying on you to pick me up when I was down. I wanted you to keep me company. You know, as a sign that you would always be there for me. But, you left. You left me hanging there."

"But I told you I'd come back, and here I am."

"I know, but it's not the same. I felt...I felt betrayed, Isabella. It felt like you were betraying my love. I don't know how to explain it, but these last couple of hours have been a nightmare without you. It's like you practically gave up on me."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't mean to."

"I know. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I had no right."

"You had a right to be angry with me, but please understand that even though we may not be able to spend every single waking moment together, it doesn't mean I love you any less."

"Really?"

"Really. I didn't stop thinking about you at all. And now that I'm with you, I feel so much better."

"I feel better too, Isabella. I love you so much and I just don't want to spend a moment apart from you."

"Come on. Let's get you back to bed. You could use a full night's sleep more than anything." She led him back to the bed and helped him get comfortable under the blankets. Before she climbed in beside him, she turned to his alarm clock, and shut it off. She didn't want him waking up at 6 in the morning.

"Why'd you turn my alarm clock off?"

"Because I don't want you waking up at 6 in the morning tomorrow. You could use the extra sleep."

"Oh alright, _Mom_." He joked, as she climbed into bed and they shared a goodnight kiss.

"Goodnight, Phineas." She said to him as she shut off his lamp and they closed their eyes.

"Goodnight, Isabella."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." He wrapped his arms around her neck, as did she, and they both drifted off into a wonderful, calm sleep, with only thoughts of the following day's adventures and their endless love for each other filling their minds. They each took one final look at each other before finally falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

**End of Episode 44!**

**A/N: I do not own the gameshow "Baggage".**

**Next Time: When an invention of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's goes astray, the kids of Maple Drive all fall in love with Phineas and Isabella respectively, and it's up to them and Ferb to snap them out of it. Meanwhile, Candace goes for her driver's license, but an old foe might stand in her way.**

**Expected Update: Check my Profile Page.**


	55. 45: Driving Miss Candace

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 45: Driving Miss Candace**

**Episode Summary: ****After another one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's goes astray, all of the kids of Maple Drive end up falling in love...with Phineas, and Isabella. So it's up to them and Ferb to snap their friends out of it before it's too late. Meanwhile, Candace goes out to obtain her driver's license. But somebody out there doesn't want her to get it and sets out to do whatever it takes.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun arose up and another day was upon the Tri-State. Ferb was the first one out of bed, a feat that usually belonged to Phineas, but slowly began Ferb as the summer progressed. He was up at his usual 7 AM wake up call and proceeded downstairs for his breakfast. Phineas, however, was different. Even with Ferb's alarm clock going off, Phineas slept right through it, as per ordered by Isabella. But it wasn't like he had to try to sleep through it. He was out like a light, dreaming away on his side of the bed.

Isabella awakened not long after Ferb. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked over her shoulder and saw Phineas still out cold, with a smile on his face, hugging a pink teddy bear in his arms, the teddy bear she had given him the night before in an effort to keep him calm and happy. She thought the way he slept was both cute and attractive, and simply loved being next to him and snuggling with him. She reached over, wiped some drool from his mouth, and gave him a long, sweet kiss before getting out of bed and writing him a little note, leaving it on his dresser. "See you later, Phineas. I love you." She called out quietly to him as she sneaked out through the window, though he didn't hear her. He simply tossed and turned in his bed. She chuckled as she left the room.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who was already awake at this hour, was busy with a little spring cleaning of his evil inventions. "Toss...toss...keep...toss..." Dr. Doofenshmirtz wanted to empty out his closet of old inventions, all of them bringing back memories. Like any good hoarder, he had a hard time parting with any of them. "Oh, look, it's my old Age Accelerator." He noticed, as he pulled out the giant device with all his strength. "Boy, I forgot how heavy this thing is." He strained as he put it down hard on the ground next to him. "That's a keeper." He continued to dig through the closet.

"Sir, look what I found." Norm, from across the room, shouted as he held up another one of Doofenshmirtz's inventions. It was his Termite Controlling Helmet.

"Oh, I've forgotten about my Termite Controlling Helmet." Doofenshmirtz remarked. "Toss it."

"Okey-dokey." Norm did exactly what he was told, and tossed the item away. He scrounged through more items and came across another, Doofenshmirtz's old Eulg, a glue-like substance that breaks items apart. "What apart this?"

"My old Eulg! I was wondering where I put that. You know what? I should keep that. You never know when it might come in handy for an arts project or an evil scheme or something of that sorts. Put it in the "Keep" pile."

"Roger that." Norm obeyed and placed the object in a separate pile along with some other things Doofenshmirtz had decided to keep.

"Oh, hey, look at this." Doofenshmirtz exclaimed happily and then held up a small bomb-like device. "It's my De-Love-inator 2.0-inator. I thought I had dismantled this. Ah, such good times. Such painful times, too. This one's going in the "Toss" pile."

"Allow me, sir." Norm stood up immediately, grabbed the bomb, opened a window, and threw it out.

"No, no! That's not what I meant, Norm! Do you realize what you have just done? That was my De-love-inator 2.0-inator! Once it hits the ground, it could very well cause the people of the Tri-State Area to fall in or out of love with each other. So who knows what could happen?"

"Isn't that a _good _thing, sir? For you, I mean."

"Well, it would be, except I didn't plan any of that to happen today. Doing evil is only fun if I actually plan it and it goes my way."

"Well, aren't you a little _baby_." Norm mocked.

"What did you say?"

Norm believed that Dr. Doofenshmirtz meant he didn't hear him, and didn't realize it was a sarcastic and somewhat offended tone. He pulled out a megaphone and stuck it in Doofenshmirtz's face. "_I SAID "WELL AREN'T YOU A LITTLE BABY!_"

"Ow, that really hurt my ears."

"Sorry, sir. But you should really pay more attention when I'm talking."

"Shut up, Norm."

As for the invention itself, it landed on the ground right below the building. The force of the impact was enough to completely shatter the device, but before it did so, it unleashed one final sonic wave that blanketed, or rather, was supposed to blanket, the entire Tri-State Area with feelings of love and/or hatred to each other. Instead, however, it only affected a small group of people: The children of Maple Drive, or at least, a select few of them.

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, Phineas was just about to awaken from his slumber. It was only 8:00, but by now, Isabella was long gone, out to her Fireside Girls meeting, which Phineas would soon learn of. He opened his eyes, rubbed them, then noticed the letter on his dresser. He took it and read it aloud. "'_Had a Fireside Girls meeting to go to. Will be back at 9 o' clock, but this shouldn't be a problem since you'll probably be sleeping in by then. Take care of yourself. Love, Isabella. P.S., Love you, cutie-pie.'_" Phineas blushed and smiled as he put the note away and slowly got out of bed to make his way downstairs.

Downstairs, his mother, father, Candace, and Perry were eating breakfast. (Perry, of course, on the floor.) "Good morning, guys." Phineas said cheerfully.

"Well, look who's well-rested and optimistic again." Lawrence said; Phineas let out a chuckle. "I was starting to worry that you were never going to wake up." He joked.

"For some reason, Isabella has been trying to prevent me from waking up at my normal time. I'm usually up by 7 and it's almost ten past 8."

"I'm sure it's just because she cares about you and wants you to be healthy."

"I know that. And even know sometimes, she can be a bit overprotective, but I can't help but love her for that. These last few days have been rough on me. But I am feeling a lot better now."

"You look a lot better now." Linda remarked. "Ferb's already outside. He wouldn't tell me what he was doing today."

"Probably because he doesn't know, yet. I'm usually the brains of the operation, and he's usually the brawn. That's why we're such a great team, the two of us. I can't wait to get out there and get to it. So, Candace," He turned to his older sister, whom he loved very much. "What are you planning to do today?"

"Mom's taking me to the D.M.V. so I can finally get my license." She replied.

"But I thought you already had her license."

"I wouldn't let her get it last summer because her obsession with you and Ferb was making her crazy. So crazy, in fact, that she almost got me killed whenever I tried to take her out driving."

"Jeez, she obsessed about us that much?"

"Sometimes, it wasn't even about you guys. Sometimes, she was just peeved at me."

"I said I was sorry, Mom."

"No need, sweetheart. I just hope you get your license today. But we better head out now. Last time I procrastinated until the last minute, I paid for it." Both Linda and Candace put their plates in the sink, grabbed their stuff, and headed out the door. "Bye, guys. Enjoy your day. Oh, and Phineas?"

"Yeah, Mom."

"Don't do too much, today. We don't want a repeat of yesterday or the day before, do we?"

"No, Mom. I promise I'll take it slow today. Ferb and I are probably just going to build a massage robot or something like that."

"OK then. Take care." Linda closed the door behind her as she and Candace left to get the latter her driver's license.

As they both got into the car and drove off, they passed by the home of the Brown-Tubbs family, and looking outside the window was none other than Donna Tubbs, the woman who previously plotted to frame Candace and get her sent away to prison. She clenched her washcloth tightly, emptying it of water in the process, and gritted her teeth. At that moment, her husband, Cleveland, came into the picture.

"Whatcha' looking at, Donna?" He asked sweetly before he laid his eyes on Candace. "Oh, I see. Honey, you've got to let this go. She's a different girl now, and you need to accept it."

"You're an idiot if you buy into that baloney." Donna snapped, turning to Cleveland and glaring angrily.

"Well, uh-"

"She's a crazy psychopath ready to snap at any moment and I have to prove it. My last attempt may have been foiled, but that won't happen again."

"What are you talking about?"

"The only reason she managed to convince everyone that she's changed is because everyone in this town is an idiot! But I know how we can convince them-"

"_We_? Oh no. No way. Donna, I love you more than you could ever understand. But I will not subject myself to this kind of behavior again. If you're so certain that this is just an act, then by all means, prove it."

"Fine, I will. I don't need your help anyway. I have ways of getting the truth out."

Cleveland left Donna alone to give her some time to think. As soon as Cleveland was out of her sight, she took out her cellphone and dialed a number quickly, ready to get her plan into action.

* * *

Meanwhile, Isabella's Fireside Girls troop meeting was just about over, and all the girls were exiting their Fireside Girls lodge. "So, what's the plan for today, troop leader?" Gretchen asked Isabella.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Come on, Isabella, I mean with Phineas. What's the plan with Phineas today?"

"I don't know. Whatever he and Ferb plan to do, I'll probably help out with?"

"You know, sometimes, I question your judgement, Isabella." Adyson piped up. "I mean, yes, Phineas is extremely intelligent and bright. But, I don't find him that cute, obviously compared to you."

"Say what now?" The fearless, and now slightly agitated leader, turned to Adyson.

"Well, he's got a big nose, weird & spiky red hair, and he snores like an animal in his sleep. When we had that sleepover earlier this summer, I'm sure he would've kept us up all night had it not been for that other thing."

"It only would've kept you up if you had let it bother you. I don't let it bother me. In fact, it even soothes me right to sleep. Sometimes, I wish he would snore even louder than he does now, because then, I would sleep even better. Besides, that's not his fault. He's had sleep apnea practically since he was born."

"You're saying that like you think it's attractive."

"Oh, you have _no_ idea.." Isabella swooned.

"Plus, he's way too skinny for me."

Isabella went bug-eyed on her. "_You _think he's skinny?"

"Yeah. why?"

"Have you not been paying attention? The past couple of days, he has been obsessed with trying to lose weight because he thought he was fat, and because he started becoming uncomfortable with me saying he had a lot of "junk in his trunk"."

"But you do say that...a lot." Holly reminded her.

"I know, and I mean every word." Isabella swooned again. "He _does_ have a nice butt."

As the girls continued to talk, they had no way to realize that Dr. Doofenshmirtz's invention had suddenly passed over the entire neighborhood, and was about to affect them all (with the exception of Isabella). After being put under some sort of trance for a short time, the girls all came to, and Holly was the first to speak up.

"Well, I don't know about you. But I'm going to go ask Phineas out on a date." She said quickly as she casually tried to stroll out of the scene, but was stopped by Isabella.

"Wait, what did you say?"

"I said I'm going to ask Phineas out."

"But...But why would you want to do that? You know that _I'm_ going out with him."

"I know that. But...you're right. He's really cute."

"I suddenly have the urge to ask Phineas out." Katie responded.

"Me too." Adyson replied.

"OK, wait a minute. You were just saying that you didn't think he was cute at all, and now you want to ask him out?"

"Yeah, I know. It's weird. But it's like my body tingles every time you mention his mere name."

"I get that way every time I see him!" Isabella protested. "You can't joke about this kind of stuff, Adyson. It's a very delicate time for us both. We have very mature, adult feelings for each other, and precious cargo like the stuff he's carrying can't be dealt with lightly."

"Precious cargo?" Adyson asked.

"I think she's talking about his butt." Gretchen chimed in.

"You bet I am. There's only one person who's allowed to touch his tushie as they please, and that person is me. He has told me that many times, because he knows I only do what I do and say what I say because it's my way of admiring it. Tonight, I am going to use his cute, firm, tight butt as a pillow, and I guarantee you that it will be the best night's sleep I will have ever gotten."

"Has anybody ever told you that you're crazy?" Katie asked. "Because sometimes, you are. But, I guess that's what happens when you're in love, and you should be free to do whatever you want with him."

"Not if he goes out on a date with me first!" Ginger shouted as she took off for Phineas's house.

"Hey!" Adyson called, as she and the other girls, including Isabella, took off to follow her.

The girls all ran quickly and soon found themselves in front of Phineas & Ferb's house. The two stepbrothers were in the backyard, working on their newest project: a helmet that allowed them to control objects around them with their mind. "Oh, look, Ferb. The Fireside Girls are here." Phineas said optimistically. "I guess Isabella's meeting is over."

"Hi Phineas!" All of the girls called out simultaneously as they ran over to him and grabbed both of his arms.

"Wow, Isabella was right. You _are_ really cute." Adyson squealed. "Even cuter in person."

"Um..." Phineas blushed madly. "Thank you, Adyson. But...But what about Ferb? He's a ladies' man."

"Yeah, but _you're_ scrumptious." Milly flirted, batting her eyelashes and closing in on Phineas, much to Isabella's chargin. She approached Ferb to console him.

"Sorry, Ferb. I don't know what's gotten into them. One minute, they're teasing me for being attracted to Phineas, and the next, they all want to ask him out." She explained to him. He, however, did not feel left out at all, knowing that Phineas himself was now turning into quite the ladies' man.

"That's quite alright. I already have my heart set on a woman, anyway."

"Come on, Phineas!" Katie called, tugging on his arm. "Let's go to the amusement park. I wanna ride the runnel of love with you!"

"Whoa, lady! That's _our_ ride!" Isabella called, running up to them and shooing them away. "The tunnel of love is our thing, ladies."

"Isabella, what's going on?"

"I don't know, Phineas."

"This isn't over, Phineas." Milly said. "I want to go out with you and I'm not going to stop until I do."

"But Milly, you already have a boy that likes you. Django. In fact, aren't you guys supposed to go to the movies tonight?"

"Yeah. But now I have a crush on you. Things can change."

"Yeah, but..."

"Isabella!" Came a high, screeching voice coming up the street. They all turned around and saw Baljeet running up their way, with a bunch of flowers in his hands. "I knew I would find you here!"

"Baljeet, you're just in..." She was interrupted abruptly when Baljeet shoved the flowers in her face.

"Do you like these flowers? I picked them out just for you."

"Oh. Uh, they're wonderful, Baljeet. But you know how I feel about Phineas, and you know how insecure he can be sometimes when other guys try to flirt with me."

"Isabella! Isabella!" Another voice came, this time, it being Buford, holding a box of chocolates in his hands. "I brought you a box of Belgium chocolates!"

"Um, why?"

"Because everybody loves chocolate."

"Buford! You are stealing my thunder!" Baljeet yelled. "I got here first, and I am trying to woo Isabella over with these flowers."

"Flowers aren't the way to go, nerd! Chocolate is the best medicine for love."

"And what do you plan to do should she be allergic to chocolate?"

"I don't know. I'm not one to usually go exchange gifts. It's take-it-or-leave-it with me."

"Exactly! You are not fit to be Isabella's boyfriend. I am."

"Guys! Do you hear yourselves?" Isabella shouted in frustration. "You know that I'm only in love with one person, and that's Phineas. Besides, it's not like I can just dump him whenever I want. I've already said and...done things that I'm not exactly proud of." She blushed madly, but also giggled.

"Do not fear, Isabella. That is what church is for. Now take these flowers!"

"No, take these chocolates!" Buford shouted louder than usual. "They're tasty! You can actually eat them, unlike those lame flowers Baljeet is trying to give you!"

"OK, that is it! It is go time, buster!" Baljeet threw the flowers on the ground and attempted to tackle Buford. Unfortunately, due to Buford being much stronger than him, he was knocked down easily, giving Buford the upper hand, as he belly flopped on top of him, causing the two to break out into an all-out fist fight against each other. All of the girls, Phineas, and Ferb backed away slowly, not wishing to get involved in Baljeet & Buford's little bout.

"Boy, something strange is really going on here." Isabella remarked.

"I'll say. I didn't realize that all of your Fireside Girls had a crush on me."

"Actually, I'm not so sure. See, when we were leaving our meeting, Adyson was bagging on me about how she didn't think you were as cute as I gave you credit for. Something out of the ordinary is definitely happening, and it's up to us to get to the bottom of this."

"You're right. It definitely seems perplexing that all of a sudden, all of the girls have a crush on me and all the guys seem to have a crush on you." Phineas said to Isabella.

"You know what I think? I think this is all just some practical joke they're trying to pull on us."

"How do you figure?"

"I don't know. But I don't see any other plausible explanation."

"I say we play it by ear. See where this thing goes, and if it starts to get out of hand, then we'll step in and try to get them under control. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" Isabella agreed.

"Agreed." Ferb was soon on board as well.

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace and Linda had their own problems to deal with. Linda had driven her to the D.M.V. office so Candace could take her much-anticipated Road Test, so she could finally obtain her driver's license.

"Are you nervous about this, honey?" Linda asked as they entered the building.

"No way. I've been preparing for this for weeks, and I am ready for it." Candace said, with a look of determination in her eyes. Upon entering the building, they made their way to the nearest open counter to sign in and get Candace ready for her appointment. What they didn't know, however, was that before they had even arrived, the guy at the desk had received an anonymous call, a call in which he was bribed, or rather, blackmailed, into intentionally failing Candace during her test, even if she performed beautifully.

"Hi, we're here for a Candace Flynn." Linda said to the guy at the desk.

"Let me see." He typed some commands into his computer and pulled up his appointment schedule, and saw that Candace Flynn was indeed the next appointment. "Please turn in all the appropriate paperwork." Linda pulled Candace's MV-285, which she received for completing a Driver's Education course the summer before. "Thank you. Now, please wait in the waiting area while I ready your vehicle. I will call you when we're ready for you."

Linda took Candace over to the waiting area to wait for her driving test. Unbeknown to her, the man was actually heading out to begin his work to sabotage her test. As he was approaching the car that Candace was going to be using, his cellphone rang. "Hello?"

_"You know what to do."_ Said the voice on the other line. (Donna Tubbs)

"Yeah, but I'm not sure I should be doing this-"

"_Look, pal! I'm paying you for this. If you chicken out, I have other people who would be willing to do this. There are plenty of other people who hate this girl, you know."_

"OK, OK. There's no need to get aggressive. I'm doing it. I swear." He got down on his knees and got under the car. With his bare hands, he started disassembling the car so the brakes would not function properly, which would ultimately result in a potential deadly crash. "The brakes have been disabled."

"_Good. Now make sure that whatever you do, you make her nervous enough so she does everything wrong."_

"Fine. And _then_ you'll pay me?"

"_Just do it, chump!_"

He groaned and hung up the phone. Taking a deep breath, he proceeded to get in the car and bring it around for Candace. But, realizing that he had just disabled the brakes and by doing so, he would have insured his own demise. So, in a frustrated effort, he was forced to push the 4,000 pound car to the front door. Not only did that require a lot of strength, but it also required a lot of patience, because it took him quite a long time to push the car up to the door.

Once he had finally done so, he dusted himself off and re-entered the building. "Candace Flynn!" He called, and the girl approached the car slowly. "Do you have your learner's permit with you?" She took out her learner's permit, and showed it to him. "Alrighty then." He pulled his shirt collar to relieve some stress as the two of them entered the car.

Candace buckled herself into her seat, adjusted her mirrors, her seat, & the steering wheel, and in no time at all, was ready to take off and earn her license. "OK Ms. Flynn, please exit the parking lot and head down the street."

"Certainly." She replied confidently. She inserted the key into the ignition and started the car, though it didn't start up right away. It made some noises that indicated that it was possibly stalled. Luckily, though, this only last a few seconds, and soon, the car was running like normal. "There we go." Candace took in a deep breath, gripped her steering wheel, and slowly pushed down on the accelerator. The car went at an easy and reasonable speed, with Candace navigating it out of the parking lot. Luckily for her, there was absolutely no traffic going either way on the street, and the light was green, so she was free to go in without worries.

"Take this street up and then...turn right at the first intersection." The instructor said after a brief moment of silence. He was terrified of giving Candace any more instructions, for fear that something dreadful may happen and that neither one of them would make it out alive.

"Got it." Candace was going at a very safe 20 miles per hour. But when it came time to turn at the intersection, Candace's attempt to slow the car down using the break was thwarted, as she soon discovered. "Hey, something's not right with the brake."

"What? What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? I'm pressing on the brake and the car's not slowing down."

The instructor slowly began sweating. He feared telling Candace that he was responsible for disabling the brakes because he could not risk his job. "Obviously, you aren't doing it right."

"Not doing it right? There's only one way to do it. Push down on the brake, and that's what I'm doing!"

"Young lady, you will not raise your voice to me."

"What is wrong with you? The car's not working properly and you're criticizing me about raising my voice? We have to do something. Otherwise, we're going to be doomed!" By now, she had not realized that she had passed the intersection she was supposed to turn into. "You have a cellphone. Call somebody! Call 911!"

"You missed the intersection. I'm going to have to penalize you for that." He took out his clipboard and started writing, keeping a stern look on his face. Even though externally, he looked like he was a careless, ruthless driving instructor, internally, it was killing him that he was being forced to keep his mouth shut about the car. "Why don't _you_ call 911 if you're so concerned."

"Because A) I have to keep my eyes on the road, and B) driving while talking on a cellphone is a felony and I don't have time for prison."

The instructor faked a smirk. "Wimp." He muttered, which made Candace even more upset with the instructor, though she hid it very well and was able to maintain her composure.

"OK, since it's obvious we're not stopping anytime soon, it looks like I'm going to have to keep going straight or else I might crash into something."

"That would be a good idea."

"Oh, so _now_ we're on the same page!"

* * *

Back in Maple Drive, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella had managed to shoo away the girls, Baljeet, and Buford, who had recently become stricken with love (all thanks to Dr. Doofenshmirtz). They now had the difficult task of figuring out why they had all suddenly fallen in love and how to reverse it.

"What are we going to do?" Isabella asked, distressing. "I can't let any of the girls steal you from me, Phineas."

"Don't worry, Isabella. I told you I only have eyes for you."

"I know that. But, I'm just worried, you know. After all, the two of us have reached a very deep level of intimacy with each other where we do things that are possibly too mature for our age."

"What do you...oh, oh! I get it. I see what you mean. Well, no worries. Ferb and I are on the case." He held up the helmet that he and Ferb had been working on. "We've been working on this since this morning. It was supposed to be a helmet that allows you to control things around you by stimulating your brain cells. But now, we're turning it into a hypnosis helmet, that will hypnotize whoever we want around us to do whatever we want."

"Sounds cool. But do you think it'll work."

"There's only one way to find out. Let's go find-"

"_ISABELLA_!" Came a voice from the distance. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella turned around to see that it was Irving running up towards them, as well as Django. Irving was holding a nicely wrapped box in his arms, while Django was holding a piece of paper. "There you are, you cutie-patutie, you!" Irving squealed.

"Oh no, not you guys, too." Isabella groaned, cupping her eyebrows.

"Look, Isabella. I made a portrait of you." Django remarked, turning the paper around and revealing a nearly flawless drawing of Isabella in her natural state. The colors were perfect, the shading was gorgeous, and the decor was fabulous. "See?"

Isabella gasped. "Oh my gosh, that _does_ look like me!"

"So you like it?"

"Uh, y-yeah I do. B-But Django, sweetie, I can't accept it. You guys know I'm in love with Phineas."

"Yeah? So?" Irving blinked.

"So you guys can't just run up to me baring gifts with you expecting me to just dump Phineas."

"So what? It's not like Phineas would ever be able to do this kind of stuff to you." Isabella went bug-eyed as Django took a small step away from Irving.

"Ooh, you probably shouldn't have said that." Django said, raising his portrait of Isabella to protect his face.

"Why?"

"Look, you little nerd-ling!" Isabella hissed, slowly edging toward Irving. "Phineas might not be the most romantic boy in the world, but he _is_ the sweetest and most thoughtful. He cares about me and wants to be near me 24/7 so I can give him as many hugs and kisses as I want. Plus, as if that weren't enough, he is downright attractive! If you were a girl, you wouldn't hesitate to agree with me."

"Uh..."

"Looks, guys, you just have to accept that Isabella and I are in love. Now come on, put those things away and leave us alone." Phineas said firmly, which turned Isabella on.

"Ooh, I love it when you use that bossy, uptight tone of yours." She squealed. "It really brings out your physical attractiveness."

"See what we mean, Phineas?" Django joined in. "She doesn't really love you. She just loves your body. _I_ would give you only emotional love."

"So, you're asking _me_ to be _your_ boyfriend?"

"What? No! Ew, that's gross."

"Alright, this is getting way out of control." Ferb took the helmet from Phineas and put it on his head, turning it on, and in an instant, subliminally hypnotized Django & Irving to "fall out of love" with Isabella. Once they awakened from their trance, they exchanged looks at each other, and at the other three before finally looking back at what they were holding in their hands.

"Hey, what am I doing with this present?" Irving asked.

"You were about to profess your "love" to her by giving her whatever it is you're holding." Phineas explained.

"Oh. Well, that just wouldn't do. You're in love with her, and I couldn't take that away from you."

"Well, unfortunately, you guys aren't the only ones. All of our friends have been acting weird. Just a little while ago, Buford & Baljeet were over here trying to smother Isabella with romance."

"Yeah, and all of the Fireside Girls were trying to drag Phineas out on a date." Isabella joined in. "We gotta find them and snap them out of this."

"I saw Buford giving Baljeet a wedgie in his backyard." Django responded quickly.

"Then let's go. There's no time to lose!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace had set herself up for a course of nothing but pain and suffering. Due to the "questionable" malfunctions of her car, thanks, in part, to Donna Tubbs, she was forced to continue driving straight or risk crashing and sustaining injuries. It was during the drive that the instructor had received a phone call from said woman.

"Hello?"

"_I knew I couldn't trust you."_

"What are you talking about? I did what you asked. The brakes are disabled." He whispered so Candace wouldn't hear him.

"_I know what. But I see how she's driving. She's going so slow I think a snail just passed her."_

"You're exaggerating."

"_And she's insane. But since you won't do anything about it, I guess I'll have to do it myself. Put her on the line."_

"A-Alright." He slowly handed the phone to her. "It's for you."

"Can't you see I'm driving? I can't talk to your friend."

"Fine. I'll put it on speaker." He did so and turned the phone towards her, holding it up.

"Hello?"

"_Miss me?"_

Candace gasped in shock. "You!"

"_You may have gotten me the last time, but this time, you won't be so lucky. See, underneath that car o' yours is a bomb that I'm about to set off. But don't worry. All you have to do is keep the car going at a speed of 40 miles an hour or faster. If it drops below that for even a second..."_

"You animal! You won't get away with this!"

"_You have 10 seconds."_

The line went dead, and Candace immediately crushed (metaphorically) the gas pedal, getting the car up to over 50 miles an hour. Luckily for her, for the next few miles, there was nothing but open road to drive on. No cars in sight, no traffic lights, no nothing. It seemed like there was no possible way that Candace and her driving instructor would be harmed, until...

"Uh oh." The instructor looked at the dashboard and discovered something horrid.

"What uh-oh? I don't like uh-oh's!"

"I just remembered that I forgot to fill the car up this morning." He pointed to the fuel gauge, noting that the needle was close to "E". "We're almost out of fuel!"

"Shoot!" Candace banged her hand against the horn in frustration, then checked the speedometer. It read 49 mph. "We're already starting to lose speed. And it doesn't look like civilization is around for several miles."

"And my cellphone just lost its last bar." The instructor said, shaking his cellphone to get more reception. "What the heck are we supposed to do. The last piece of civilization was 20 miles back!" Somehow, Candace had managed to drive them completely out of the Tri-State and into a wasteland.

"Then it looks like we're heading back to town!" Candace shouted quickly as she spun her steering wheel all the way around, turning the car all the way around and heading back to civilization.

"What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?" The instructor shouted, scared half to death.

"I'm getting us back to town. If we can draw some attention our way, maybe somebody will come and help us."

"Or they'll just call the cops on us and call us crazy."

"That's a chance I'm willing to take." She pushed harder on the gas pedal and significantly increased their speed. By the time they had gotten back into town, Candace was driving at a dangerous 60 miles per hour, and immediately after reentering town, attention was drawn to the car. In a panic, everybody started screaming and running around in circles. Some even contemplating calling the police, but, since none of them knew the story at all, the police would have simply assumed that Candace was back to her crazy ways.

Luckily, none of them actually did call the cops. The driving instructor called the police, and explained to them what was going on, and within moments, nearly a half dozen cop cars were on the tail of Candace & her instructor. They followed them all over town, and as soon as it hit the news, Donna Tubbs was delighted.

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Joyce Kinney." (**A/N: In the Family Guy episode "And I'm Joyce Kinney", Diane Simmons, who, if you've been following, is dead, is replaced by a co-anchor of the same name) **"Breaking news. What started out as a simple driving test for a young Candace Flynn has turned into a fight for her life. As we speak, Candace Flynn is driving frantically around the Tri-State Area, with reports of an explosive device attached to the bottom of the vehicle, which could go off any minute."

"Should the car slow down too much, the device will go off and..." Tom ran his finger across his neck and made a slicing sound with his mouth. "...that's the end of her. Police are following close behind in an attempt to defuse the bomb or at least get her and her driving instructor out of the vehicle before it goes off. The master mind behind this elaborate, yet clearly ripped-off-from-the-movie-Speed scheme is still unknown."

"We'll have more information as it becomes available, but first, we go live to Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa for more information. Trisha?"

Meanwhile, from her house, Donna was watching the news unfold, and was shocked to find out that the cops were not actually blaming Candace for the situation or pursuing her. Instead, they were trying to help her. "I can't believe this!" She shouted to the TV. "They're showing sympathy to her. They're supposed to be framing her for this! That was my plan! Alright then, if these cops won't do it, _I_ will!" She stood up and angrily stormed out of her house towards her car.

While she did that, Candace continued to maintain her cool as she drove around the Tri-State Area. Pretty soon, she heard a voice coming from the squad car behind her.

"Candace! Can you hear me?" Candace could hear the officer shouting from his patrol car through the radio.

"Yes, Yes I can!"

"Do not worry!' We're sending some experts from the bomb squad over to you to see if we can't get the bomb defused in time!"

"Send over some fuel, too! We're on E!"

"Loud and clear!"

One of the patrol cars sent out a cop car on a roller pad in an attempt to defuse the bomb that was under the car in time. He rolled out quickly and efficiently, with no trouble getting under the car. Finding the bomb and defusing it, however, was a different story. For one, the bomb itself was so small and the wires were so small that it was nearly impossible to detect the bomb. Second, once the bomb was found, it was so complicated to figure out. There were thousands of wires all over the place and of many different colors, some of which almost seemed made up to him. There was no set timer programmed in the bomb. Instead, there was a digital read out of the car's speed, which was currently 46 miles per hour.

The officer rolled out from under the car and approached the driver's seat. "I can't defuse the bomb!"

"Then give us some gas! We're on "E"!"

"We tried, but none of the gas stations would provide us with any fuel."

"Did you explain to them that this is a life or death situation?"

"Yes, and they still wouldn't believe me! Your only chance is to escape this car before you run out of gas! Don't worry, we'll help you!" The officer rolled back to his squad car, and subsequently drove up into the other lane right next to Candace. "Alright, we're gonna send a plank over for you guys to walk over. If we're gonna get this to work, you guys have to be quick. So, turn on the cruise control of your car."

"It's disabled! I already tried it!" Candace shouted.

"Alright. Then speed up as much as you can, then get ready to jump!"

"Got it!" Candace slammed her foot onto the accelerator and sped up the car past 70 miles an hour. By now, all of the streets had been warned of the looming danger and were advised to clear the streets. One person, however, chose not to listen.

Up Maple Drive, near her house, Donna Tubbs decided to teach Candace a lesson once and for all. She parked her car right in the middle of the street, blocking it off. This way, if Candace were to drive down the street, she would be forced with a decision: continue driving and risk a crash, or try to stop and blow up. As if on cue, Candace did end up coming down Maple Drive.

Having exited the town, she was now heading up Maple Drive with the cops right beside her. They had set up the plank so it reached the now open driver's door. "OK, the plank is ready! Let go of the accelerator!"

Candace obeyed slowly. Then, she unbuckled herself and slowly started making her way down the plank. Immediately, the car started slowly down, dropping almost 10 miles per hour in less than 10 seconds. Candace, though, was quick on her feet and able to get across. The driving instructor would be the difficult challenge.

"Come on, man!" The officer yelled to the instructor. "You've already slowed down! Remember, if the car goes below 40, _BOOM!_ You'll be blown to bits."

"I know! But I'm scared. I don't have great balance."

"It's alright. We're here! Just start walking!" Candace yelled at the top of her lungs, holding out a hand for him to grab once he made it across. Slowly but surely, the driving instructor stepped onto the plank and made his way across. At one point, however, he lost his balance and almost fell off, and it was only after Candace grabbed him and helped pull him back up and into the car. By then, the car had slowed down so severely that it had gone below 40 mph, and had finally exploded.

But it wasn't a big explosion, like everybody was anticipating. It was a smaller explosion, and simply turned the car over, did some damage, and had it end up on its tattered roof. "Whoa, that was close." Candace remarked as the cop car stopped just in front of Donna's car. They all exited the car calmly, with the exception of the instructor, who was fuming.

"You!" He shouted to Donna. "This is all _your_ fault!"

"Why, Jeffery, whatever do you mean?" Donna sarcastically and arrogantly replied.

"I'm talking about the fact that _you_ forced me to disable the brakes in the car, and the fact that you leaked our gas tank, _and_ the fact that you're the one who put that bomb under the car!"

Donna snorted loudly. "Can you believe this guy?"

"Now, hold on, lady. This is very serious. If he is telling the truth, you're gonna be in a world of trouble."

"There's no way he can prove it was me."

"No, but I can convince a jury. Here." He quickly took out his cellphone and handed it to the officer. "I got 2 calls from Donna today, and I saved them, so you can listen to my conversations with her."

"W-Wait, you can do that now?"

"Yeah. It's a Blackberry. What did you expect?"

"H-Hold on a minute. Let's not get too hasty here."

"What's the matter? Afraid you're gonna get caught because you're guilty?" Candace mocked, both angry at the fact that it was Donna who did and joyous at the fact that she would be punished for it.

"No! It's just that...that...OK, OK! I admit it!" She gave in, seeing that there was no way out. "I did it!"

"I should've known. I can't believe that you would actually go out of your way to kill me just because you-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, child. Let's not get too hasty. I wasn't trying to kill you. I only put in a small explosive device. My plan was to blow the car up and make it unusable for good. The worst you probably would've gotten was a broken arm. But, the resulting explosion would've caused the police to think that you were responsible for it. Then, you would go to jail, never get your license, and once and for all, everybody would see that you're still the same, crazy girl you've always been!"

"Wow, you couldn't be more off-base with that. She was perfectly calm the entire time." The officer retorted.

"I'll say. I was the shaky one." The instructor agreed. "In fact, I think I may have even wet myself."

Candace and the officer both made faces with that statement. "Dude, we could've gone our whole lives without knowing that."

"And just for the record, Miss Tubbs, if it weren't for your little stunt today, she probably would've passed her driving test. But unfortunately, now we have to wait for another car to become available." He turned to Candace. "Sorry."

"That's OK. I can wait."

"You know, I would've gotten away with this, too, had it not been for you meddling kids!" She pointed past them to prove her point, only to reveal that the entire Scooby Doo gang was standing there, with puzzled looks on their faces.

"Like, why do we always get blamed?" Shaggy responded sadly.

"Yeah. We didn't do anything wrong." Fred agreed. "This is what we get for being a multi-billion dollar franchise, I suppose."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella had tracked Buford & Baljeet down and had de-hypnotized them into falling "out of love" with Isabella. Now, all that was left was Fireside Girls troop 46231, and they were, conveniently, at the Fireside Girls lodge. They busted the door down (not literally, of course) and intruded on their meeting, which, unfortunately, was dedicated entirely to Phineas.

"The jig is up, girls!" Phineas yelled. "We know what you're doing! We know that you all have suddenly developed a crush on me. But let's face it. I'm in love with Isabella! I'm here to snap you girls out of it."

"Out of what?" Holly questioned.

"Your trance."

"We're not in a trance. We're serious."

"Yeah, we love you, Phineas." Katie shouted.

"We want to hug you, kiss you, talk about girls, play sports, that kind of stuff." Adyson ranted.

"But if you did that, you'd be stealing him from me, and that would be breaking the honor of the Fireside Girls." Isabella explained, and a bit smugly, too. The girls, however, were not phased.

"Yeah, Isabella, we talked about that." Gretchen explained. "And the thing is...we don't really care."

"What? Are you girls really that insensitive?"

"Not insensitive, just in love."

"Let's get him!" Melissa, the youngest of the group, shouted, as the girls all charged up to Phineas. But Ferb, who thought quickly, turned the helmet on and snapped it at the girls, all sending them into an "afterphoto" (if you will) trance. Once the trance broke, the girls blinked twice and then looked around. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Why do I suddenly feel like I've been spending today chasing a boy I had no chance with?" Holly asked, visibly confused.

"Because you were, girls. You had suddenly gone head over heels for Phineas."

"We did?" Adyson asked. "But that can't be. I already told you I don't find him as cute as you do, Isabella."

"You...You don't?" Phineas blushed as his face fell and backed up a couple of steps. He was offended that Adyson would just come out and say something like that.

"Don't worry." Isabella turned to him. "I promise I'll explain everything later. I'm just glad that we got this figured out before it was too late."

"Me too." Phineas replied, walking up to Isabella and giving her a hug. "I couldn't stand the thought of somebody else possibly going out with you."

"Same here. Now, come on. Let's all go home. We've all had a long day." And so, the kids all made their way out of the clubhouse and back to their respective homes. The adventures of love-induced kids was over, and now, Phineas & Ferb had the rest of the afternoon to think of another activity to do for the following day. And after returning home, there was only one thing left for Phineas & Ferb to do.

"Oh, there you are Perry."

**End of Episode 45!**

**A/N: Sorry if it seems like I rushed the ending. I was going to put in a musical number, "Boyfriend" by Big Time Rush, but then I decided against it at the last minute. Anyway, Candace's subplot is a parody of the movie "Speed" starring Sandra Bullock & Keanu Reeves.**

**Next Time: After a routine visit to the museum, Phineas & Ferb end up in possession with one of the most dangerous & most powerful artifacts of all time, and risk unlocking a legendary prophecy.**

**Expected Update: Check my Profile Page for a date. **


	56. 46: Revenge of Gorlok Part 1

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 46: Revenge of Gorlok Part 1**

**Episode Summary: ****After a routine trip to the Danville Museum, Phineas & Ferb accidentally end up in possession of one of the most dangerous & most powerful artifacts in known history. The artifact slowly begins changing them, until it is revealed that the artifact comes with a legendary prophecy behind it that may enshroud the Tri-State Area in darkness forever. Meanwhile, a surprising truth from his sister causes Jeremy to rethink his feelings for Candace.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another day arrived for Danville. The sun was up high and everybody was going about their business. As for Phineas and Ferb, they, along with Linda, Lawrence, Candace, and Perry were at the museum. It was Phineas & Ferb's idea to spend the morning at the museum, and although Candace was not a big fan of the idea, she sucked it up and decided that it would only be for the morning, and came along with them.

"Wow, it seems like this museum just keeps getting bigger every day." Phineas remarked to Ferb. "We were just here a couple of weeks ago and already it appears that there are new exhibits here."

"Well, as they say, 'History is made everyday'." Ferb responded. "So I suppose it is appropriate."

"I don't see what the big deal is." Candace, in a bored tone, said. "I'm not a history-kind of girl. None of this is interesting to me."

"Really? I thought when you and Jeremy were going out, you loved this kind of stuff."

"Nah. I just told him that so he wouldn't judge me. Lot of good that did for me. Although I have to admit, those stories about the vikings were pretty interesting."

"That's funny. I found those to be kinda boring."

"As did I." Ferb said, jumping into the conversation.

They continued to tour the museum, exploring all of the artifacts that the museum had to offer. Truly, the museum was Phineas & Ferb's favorite place to go, especially after their 2 time-traveling adventures the previous summer. (**It's About Time! & Quantum Boogaloo) **They especially loved the new artifacts that came into the museum every week.

But the one display that truly drew their attention was the newly introduced "Legend of Gorlok" display. "Hey, Ferb, check this out!" Phineas called over his stepbrother. Inside the glass box, there were many artist renderings of what appeared to be a war of some sorts, with shadowy figures and brave soldiers, and a drawing in the center of two extremely detailed stones, each in the shape of a diamond. One of the stones was pitch black, while the other one was white. "Wow, this must've been from thousands of years ago."

"Ah, I see you boys have stumbled upon our "Legend of Gorlok" display." One of the workers of the museum said as he walked up to them.

"Legend of Gorlok? What the heck is that?"

"I'm glad you asked, my young fellow. See, thousands of years ago, there existed a mighty powerful stone that kept the magic and dangers of evil locked away so everyone could live in a peaceful utopia, much like Atlantis, except not underwater. It was known as the "Stone of Harmony"." He pointed to an artist's rendering of the stone, which was colored yellow. "But one day, somebody, who was no better than anybody else, stumbled upon the stone and accidentally dropped it on the floor. The crash caused the stone to break into 2 equal pieces, one colored black, and one colored white. But more importantly, once the stone broke, all of the evil spirits were unleashed into the world, all of them entering the body of the poor sucker who broke the stone in the first place. The spirits tainted his soul with evil, and turned him into a dark sorcerer bent on destroying the world with an evil fist. From then on, he was known only as "Gorlok"."

"But wait, if the yellow stone was destroyed, how were the evil spirits locked away again?" Phineas asked.

"One day, after years of the world being consumed by darkness, the secret to defeating the evil was discovered. See, after Gorlok took over, the white stone was cast away to another part of the world. But after it was found, the secret was exposed. Once every 73 1/2 years, Kermillian's Comet passes over the Earth, and legend has it that once the comet passed over the stones, it gave them unprecedented power. It is believed that Kermillian's Comet is the source of their power. Once the white stone became empowered by the comet, it released thousands of powerful spirits that fought off the evil that Gorlok had unleashed, and after it was all over, Gorlok and his evil were locked away within the black stone once and for all."

"Wow. So Kermillian's Comet is the source of their power?" Phineas pondered again. "Hey, it passed over Danville just last year. So why didn't something happen last year?"

"According to the legend, in order for the stones to actually work, someone with such a powerful soul, whether good or bad, must be holding the stones. The comet passing over did provide the stones with power, but they cannot work on their own. Someone must be in possession of them. Gorlok's soul was completely tainted with evil, so he was able to get the stones to work. But now that he is trapped within the black stone, his soul has become so weak that he must feed off of the soul, or souls, of whoever he can get to hold the black stone again. Only then will he become powerful enough to reemerge as a dark ruler."

"That's so cool! Hey, could we see the stones in person?"

"Sure, but you'd have to wait? We're having them cleaned. But you can buy copies of them as souvenirs in our gift shop."

"Awesome. Thanks." Phineas, Ferb, Linda, Lawrence, and Candace made their way to the gift shop, where Phineas and Ferb were the first ones to get on line and decide what they wanted to buy. "Could we get two of those "Legend of Gorlok" stones as souvenirs, please?" Phineas asked nicely. The lady turned around with a smile and nodded her head. Of course, what the boys, nor the lady, didn't realize, was that she was already holding a black stone and a white stone in her hands. Unfortunately, these were the stones that were supposed to be on display in the museum, and were taking out for cleaning. She simply thought that they were copies of them that were for sale in the shop.

"Here you go, boys." She handed the two stones to the boys. "That'll be $10 dollars." Phineas handed the lady a 10 dollar bill. "Thank you, and come again."

"Bye now." Phineas said as he and everyone else waved goodbye to her as they left the store and subsequently the museum. Meanwhile, just as they did, the museum manager came in to see the lady.

"Andrea, what did you do with those "Legend of Gorlok" exhibit stones?"

"Huh?"

"Those stones from the exhibit. I asked you to take them to the back to get cleaned."

"stones? You mean the ones I just gave to those two nice boys who are leaving the museum now?"

"You did _WHAT?_"

"I didn't know. I thought those were from the store. I didn't realize they were the actual ones from the exhibit!"

"Really?" It was evident from the sound of his voice changing that he was very upset over this revelation. "I thought that the fact that those stones didn't have a price tag on them would've given it away!" The manager, in a panic, ran out of the museum in a hurry in an attempt to catch the family. However, they were already in the car and driving off, and they were unable to hear the manager's frantic cries to return to the museum. "Shoot!" Frustrated, he threw his museum cap onto the ground and began stomping on it fiercely. Meanwhile, the cashier came out to see what the fuss was about.

"Why are you getting so upset?" She asked. "Everybody knows that the legend isn't true?" He looked up at her, the expression on his face representing sheer anger. "I'm fired, aren't I?"

"Oh, big time."

Back in the Flynn-Fletcher car, Phineas and Ferb spent nearly the entire car ride staring at their new souvenirs. Of course, little did they know that what they thought was souvenirs were actually the real stones of Gorlok, better known as the "stone of Light" and the "stone of Darkness". "Wow, Ferb. Just look at these. They're so beautiful."

"Yes. It's as if they are the actual stones of Gorlok." Ferb responded.

"Guys, they're just souvenirs. Come on, put them back in the bag." Candace reached slowly for the stones, only for Phineas to pull away quickly.

"No. I-I mean, we're not done admiring them yet. Once we're done, you can admire them. I promise."

"Actually, I could care less about that kind of stuff."

"Alright, suit yourself." Phineas shrugged and was about to return to admiring the stones in his hands when he looked down next to him and realized that Perry was gone. "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

As for Perry, he had disappeared to his lair. Having jumped out of Phineas's arms before they had gotten into the car, he bolted for the nearest sewer hole. His hover car was waiting for him at the bottom and zoomed off once Perry was safely inside. At that moment, his video monitor went on, revealing his boss on the other end.

"Good morning, Agent P. We've just received Intel that the "Legend of Gorlok" display at the Danville Museum has been breached, and through an unlikely mix-up, your owners, Phineas and Ferb, ended up in possession of the stones. Agent P, you must do whatever it takes to get those stones back before it's too-"

"Hold up. Hold it." Carl, off-screen, interrupted. "Don't tell me that you actually believe in that legend."

"Carl, don't you get it?" Monogram shouted in distress, turning to his off-screen intern. "If those stones were to fall into the wrong hands, the world could be shrouded in darkness forever!"

"Sir, with all due respect, I think you are overreacting."

"Well, if I am, so be it! I'd rather be criticized for overreacting to a minor situation than criticized for not reacting to a severe situation!" Monogram turned back to Perry. "Anyway, Agent P, you must, at all costs, retrieve those stones and return them to the museum as soon as possible. See, it's not because I'm afraid-"

"Right..."

"Carl, shut up! I'm serious! I'm stressed out about this because the president is coming into town and he along with his family want to see the exhibit. And I promised him personally that he would be able to see it."

"Oh, _that's_ why you're so upset all of a sudden?"

"Carl, when the president asks you to do something, you don't argue."

"So if the president told you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, you'd do it?"

"Yes, of course I wo - wait, why am I even having this conversation with you?"

"You started it."

"No, you did!"

Fed up with the arguing between Monogram and Carl, Perry shut off his video monitor and found an open hole, where he flew out and began to make his way back to his home in an attempt to retrieve Phineas and Ferb's souvenirs, which weren't really souvenirs at all. Little did he know that even know, only moments after leaving the museum, that would be one of his toughest missions yet.

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, Candace, Linda, and Lawrence returned home. Phineas and Ferb were eager to get to work on their day's activities.

"Now, boys, put those souvenirs someplace safe." Linda said sternly to them as they exited the car.

"OK, Mom." Phineas replied, though his tone had become slightly agitated. "Come on, Ferb. Let's go." The boys ran into the house and up the stairs to their rooms. Ferb pulled out their sketch pad and blueprint book, as well as some pencils, and then rushed back downstairs and out the back door to begin planning. "Alright, now that our trip to the museum is over, we can get started on our day's activity. Now, what should we do?" Ferb flipped through the blueprint book. "Cosmic Star Realignment machine? No. Invisibility boots? Uh-uh. Anti-Gravity Fun Chamber? Didn't we already do that? Boy, we're running out of ideas, and fast."

"Hi, Phineas!" Came a sweet and cuddly voice from right behind them. Phineas turned around and saw Isabella standing there. "And how's my cutie doing today?"

"Oh, hey Isabella." He responded and chuckled. Even when he was in a terrible mood or funk, seeing Isabella would always bring his spirits up. He embraced her and gave her a welcome kiss. "We're trying to figure out what to do today, but we're running out of ideas." He explained to her, only to realize that she wasn't really paying much attention to his words, rather, she was paying attention to his face. "What?"

"I don't know what it is about you, but every time I look at your face, you're even cuter and more attractive than before." She leaned in and ran her hand down his cheek, giggling.

"Well, that's great and all, but you're not really contributing to the conversation." His tone was become slightly more irritated. "You're just talking gibberish."

"What? Phineas, are you alright?" She broke from the hug and took her hand away.

"Of course I am." He replied, putting his hands on his hips, something Isabella was immediately turned-on by. "But I'm trying to think of something Ferb and I can do for today, and here you are, all flirty and stuff, and I'm almost certain you were about to engage in a ranting about my butt."

Isabella glared, but then shrugged, since it was all completely true. "Whoa, that's not the Phineas I know and love. Did you sleep last night?"

"Yes, I slept last night. Like a log, too. Look, I-I'm sorry, Isabella. I just want to come up with an idea that Ferb and I can do together and I guess I'm just a bit frustrated that we're almost out of ideas."

"Yes, and this bickering you two are engaging in is not helping the cause." Ferb responded, in nearly the same tone Phineas just used, though it was barely noticeable.

"Um, OK. Well, if you guys are stuck for an idea, the Fireside Girls and I are looking to earn our "Environmentalists" patch, and we're heading down to the park to clean up the trash that's been piling up. But we don't really want to spend all day there."

"Yeah, I don't blame you. Picking up garbage is kinda boring...unless you had a fancy, high-speed garbage collector. Hey, that's it!" Phineas turned to his stepbrother. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

"Hey, Phineas, what's that in your hand?" Isabella asked, noticing the two stones Phineas was holding in his hands.

"Oh, these? Well, Ferb and I went to the museum earlier, and we saw that new "Legend of Gorlok" display."

"Oh, did you? How was it?"

"It was awesome! I gotta take you there one of these days. Anyway, let's get going. That trash collector is not going to build itself, is it?"

"I guess not."

So Isabella took it upon herself to summon her Fireside Girl troops over to Phineas's house. Once everybody was gathered in the backyard, Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of them got to work on building their super-powered trash collector. Meanwhile, throughout the process, the stones that Phineas had safely tucked away in his pants pockets began to react. Unbeknown to anybody, the result passing over of Kermillian's Comet the previous summer had provoked the stones and enhanced their mighty power. Now, with Phineas and Ferb in possession of them, they were in for the ride of their lives.

Inside Phineas's pockets, the stones began to glow, especially the black stone, emanating power from its inner core. The aura coming from the black stone contained a super natural power that slowly began altering his and Ferb's personalities, for within the stone lied the tainted soul of Gorlok, who was out for revenge after years of captivity.

It took only a short time for the trash collector to be built. "All done!" Phineas shouted as soon as they were finished with building it. "Now, who's ready to earn their "Environmentalist" patch?" All the girls started cheering, enthusiastic about getting their newest patch and cleaning up the park. "Alright, then what are we waiting for?" But just as they were about to see, Phineas noticed that Perry had sneaked up on him and was attempting to take the stones out of his pockets. Angered, Phineas turned around abruptly and growled at Perry. "Perry! Bad boy! You know better than to sneak up on me!" He shouted.

"Phineas, don't yell at Perry. He's just a platypus." Isabella attempted to reason with him.

"Yeah, a platypus who's getting in the way of our project for today." Phineas's rage quickly began rising, but before he lost it, he snapped out of it and calmed down. Realizing that he had just yelled at his pet platypus, he knelled down and hugged him. "I'm sorry, Perry. I-I don't know what got into me. I didn't mean to yell at you." Normally, Perry would be rather upset with Phineas for yelling at him like that, since he rarely did it. But this time, he knew better. He knew that it wasn't really Phineas's fault.

"Are you sure you're OK, Phineas? This isn't like you at all. Maybe you're just crabby." Isabella said again. "You don't look tired, but..."

"No, No. I fine, Isabella. Really. I-I don't know what's happening, but I promise I'm fine."

"Yes, so can we please get a move on before we all start a sob-fest here?" Ferb remarked, now responding in a similiar tone as to Phineas's. "Let's go." With everyone's help, they were able to load their invention onto a wagon and pull it to the park, where they would unleash it.

Upon arriving at the park, Phineas and Ferb were truly disgusted at the sight of all the garbage piling up in the park. "My goodness, this is truly disgusting." Phineas remarked. "_When I'm ruler of this pathetic world, I won't waste any time worrying about this "garbage". I'll just destroy this world."_ He spoke again, but this time, his tone was significantly darker and more angry than before.

"What was that?" Isabella inquired, causing Phineas to snap out of it.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing. I said, "Let's get to work. This garbage isn't going to clean itself up."

"You got that right."

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, Jeremy Johnson was busy watching TV at home while watching his little sister, Suzy. Though Suzy was enjoying her quality time with Jeremy, Jeremy was bored out of his mind, and Suzy immediately noticed it.

"What's the matter, big brother?" Suzy asked him. "Aren't you enjoying the show?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. T-The show's great. It's nothing, Suzy."

"Jeremy, you can't lie to me like that. I know you better than anyone. Something's bothering you."

Jeremy sighed, knowing that Suzy could always figure out when he was upset about something. "OK, you're right. I guess I'm upset because...because I can't stop thinking about Candace. She was my first serious girlfriend, and my best girlfriend, and now we don't even talk to each other."

"So why don't you go over to her house and talk to her?'

"Suzy, it's not that simple. We had a really big fight. S-She accused me of trying to cheat on Stacy with her over the phone, then she accused me of talking down on her brothers. I-I don't know. It just all seems weird."

"Really? Well, that's...interesting." Suzy looked down at the floor and twiddled her thumbs. As soon as Jeremy brought up the incident of his and Candace's break-up, she realized what he was talking about, and realized that she was the one responsible for them breaking up. Earlier in the summer, just after Candace had returned from military school, Suzy decided to toy with Candace's emotions by pretending to be Jeremy and flirt with her, convincing Candace that Jeremy was nothing but a two-timing pig. She didn't expect for Jeremy and Candace to break up, and now, knowing that she was personally responsible for that happening, she deeply regretted her actions.

"Suzy? What's the matter?"

"I miss Candace." She spoke the truth. "Why can't you guys just work out your differences and get back together?"

"Suzy, it's not that simple."

"Well, I wish it was." She pouted, got off the couch, and ran upstairs to her room. Once she was out of Jeremy's sight, she sneaked out of her bedroom window, and started making her way up the street to Candace's house.

* * *

Candace, meanwhile, was at home, watching TV. There was a knock at the front door, so Candace shut the TV off, and answered the door. To her surprise, Suzy was standing there, with an expression of concern on her face. "Suzy? Is that you? What are you doing over here? And does Jeremy know you're here?"

"No he doesn't." She said quietly.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because you have to get back together with Jeremy!" She shouted, running up to Candace and hugging her leg. "You just have to!"

"Suzy, what are you talking about?"

"It was me! It was me. I'm the one that tricked you. When you came back from military school, I-I just wanted to mess with your head, so I pretended to be Jeremy to trick you into thinking he was cheating on Stacy!"

'But that couldn't have been you? I mean, even-"

"It's not that hard, really." She spoke again, but this time, she changed the pitch of her voice to nearly mimic that of Jeremy's. "Even a chimp could do this with a little bit of practice."

Candace was left completely speechless. She had just found out that it wasn't Jeremy who was trying to flirt with her all along. It was Suzy just trying to mess with her. Her first instinct told her that she needed to tell Suzy off, but her second instinct told her that Suzy felt remorse for her actions and that she really did want Candace & Jeremy to be together again, which was the truth.

"Look, Suzy, what you did was wrong. Very, very wrong." She said firmly before knelling down and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Does this mean you're not going to get back together with Jeremy?"

"I'm sorry, Suzy. I can't. The thing is...I already met somebody else."

"You...You what?"

"I met another guy that I really like. We've connected really well. He's cute, he's funny, he's a heck of a singer & skateboarder, and I just feel so comfortable around him, like I don't have to try so hard to be something he wants. I never felt that way with Jeremy. I was always so jittery and stressed, trying to figure out what he likes about me and how I could get him to be my boyfriend. With Kurt, it's so much easier. I'm sorry, Suzy, but I can't go back to Jeremy."

"But it wasn't his fault! None of it was his fault! It was mine!"

"I know. But...I can't. I'm sorry." With that, Candace stood up, turned around, and walked back inside, closing the door behind her, leaving a distraught and heartbroken Suzy outside. Frustrated and determined to get them back together, Suzy rushed up the street back to her house in an attempt to tell Jeremy what had happened. Her hope was that he would fully understand, come to his senses, and realize that he was still madly in love with Candace.

* * *

Back at the park, Phineas & Ferb were busy cleaning up all the garbage that was everywhere. Isabella and the Fireside Girls lent their hands to help with the effort, but Phineas insisted that they stayed out of it.

"But Phineas, if we don't help out, we're not really doing our part to earn our patches." Isabella reminded him.

"I know, but I don't want you to ruin those soft, nimble hands of yours." He complimented, which caused Isabella to giggle and blush madly. _That way, it'll be easier for me to crush those pathetic bones and leave you in a pit of your own tears!_ A strong, deep voice inside of him spoke. Upon hearing this voice, Phineas's eyes went open completely. _What was that?_ He thought again, this time, in his regular voice. As he continued to ponder over where that strange voice came from, he looked up at the sky and saw that clouds were beginning to move in, darkening the sky, as if a storm was about to hit. "Wow, the sky's really getting dark."

"It looks like we're about to get hit with a big storm." Adyson remarked.

_Yes...a storm of terror and darkness!_ Phineas's thoughts shouted again. What Phineas nor Ferb realized was that their current "darker" thoughts were controlled by the evil being, Gorlok. Even though he was weakened and locked away within the black stone, he was still strong enough to get occasional control of Phineas or Ferb and manipulate their thoughts and/or words. And, since his power was constantly increasing, so was his control over the two boys.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Phineas remarked again. "Besides, we're almost done cleaning up the park." He pointed out that his and Ferb's trash collector had picked up nearly every piece of garbage that was in the park. At this point, only old newspapers remained on the ground and a few were hung in trees. "Once we get this little bit finished, we can go home and do whatever else we want to do."

"I know what _I_ want to do." Isabella swooned, snuggling close to Phineas and wrapping her arms around his waist, which caused him to blush. "I wanna spend the day with my sweetie." She said lovingly, which brightened his mood. Her hands slowly began moving down his waist, getting closer to his butt until she finally put one hand on a cheek and squeezed as tightly as she could. "Yep, it's still as cute and firm as ever." On any other day, Phineas would be basking in this moment, enjoying every single feeling he got from Isabella's gestures. He would always loosen up a great deal when she did this with him. But today, not so much.

"Isabella, what...what are you doing?" Gorlok had taken control of Phineas once again, and now resented Isabella for her "actions".

"What do you mean, Phineas? I'm expressing my love for you, and you know that this is how I love to do it."

"Well, it's offensive! Now, little girl..." His tone quickly changed. He went from speaking in Phineas's voice, to speaking in his own voice. "Unless you want to perish into the deepest part of the Underworld, I suggest you take your grubby little hands off of me at once!" He shouted, which scared Isabella right off of him. She took a small step back and her lips began quivering. It was then that Phineas came to and saw that Isabella looked like she was about to cry. "Isabella, what happened? Was somebody mean to you? Here, let me make you feel better." He reached out his arms and hugged her instantly.

She couldn't believe what was happening. Not only did he seem like he had no idea what had just happened, but it was like he was just hypnotized (which was exactly the case, unbeknown to everyone, of course). "Uh, d-don't worry, Phineas. I'm fine. Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I disagree, dear stepbrother. Ever since this morning, we have been a tad on edge for unknown reasons." Ferb stepped in. "Perhaps it has something to do with our trip to the museum?"

"What are you saying, Ferb? That it has something to do with the museum, or those rock-things we bought from the gift shop?"

"Perhaps. But I don't think it would be best for us to dwell on that thought. For now, we should probably just finish up here and then head back home."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe a change of scenery for today wasn't the best idea. But, if it meant helping my girlfriend and her friends, then it's all worth it for me." Phineas winked at Isabella; she blushed. "Huh. According to these indicators, the trash collector's full. We're gonna have to empty it somehow before it'll collect any more trash." He looked around quickly for a dumpster. "I don't see any dumpsters around."

"There's a trash can at the edge of the park. Let's just pick up the rest by hand and then we can go looking for a trash can. I mean, it looks like it is just papers left."

"Yeah, you're right, Isabella. OK, sounds like a plan." He handed the trash collector to Isabella, who led the others down the park towards a nearby trash can, leaving Phineas & Ferb behind. By this time, Gorlok had once again taken control of Phineas & Ferb. _That's right, you little maggots. You enjoy this while you can. Because once I grow strong enough, I will use these two little boys to take over this pathetic world, and exact my vengeance on all of you for locking me away for so many years! You will all suffer at my hand!_ Gorlok thought aloud to himself. Phineas & Ferb both grew evil & sinister grins on their faces. But his control over them did not last long, as they soon regained their composure, forgetting anything that had just transpired. "Hey, guys! Wait up!" Phineas shouted as he and Ferb ran after the girls.

As for the stones that still lurked in Phineas's pockets, the black one began glowing immensely, the aura surrounding it growing brighter and brighter as Gorlok's control over the two boys increased. Once he grew strong enough to take control of them permanently, it would spell the end of Danville and the dawn of a new era.

* * *

Suzy finally made it back home. She brushed through the front door to confront her older brother, who was still sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Jeremy!" She shouted to get his attention.

"Not now, Suzy. Jeremy's watching TV." He said rather coldly, not moving from his spot.

"Jeremy, listen! I have something I need to tell you!"

"Suzy, I said not now!"

"I'm the one that tricked Candace into thinking you were cheating on Stacy!"

"Suzy, do you not know how to speak English? I said not - wait, what?"

_Oh, now you decide to listen._ She thought angrily. "Yes...I admit it. It was me."

"You were tricking us into thinking that I was going against Stacy with Candace?"

"Yep. I pretended to be you and flirted with her. I called her all the things you used to call her. It was sickening, and I nearly upchucked!"

"Is that all you can think about? Your lunch?" Jeremy quickly grew angry and rose from his seat. "Do you have any idea of the _**HELL**_ you put me through? Of what you put Candace through?"

"I-I'm sorry..." She stuttered. "I just wanted to have a little fun with you guys-"

"Oh, well I'm glad you had fun. Because of you, I lost one of the best things that ever happened to me!" He was screaming at the top of his lungs now as he picked up Suzy and plopped her down on the couch. "Candace was one of the best things to ever happen to me. She was my favorite girl!"

"But, Jeremy..."

"But what, Suzy?"

"But _I'm_ supposed to be your favorite girl."

He blinked for a moment and held back his rage to process that thought. Then he let out a chuckle. "Oh, I get it." He sat down on the couch next to her, significantly calmer than he was. "You were afraid that if I got close to a girl, I would forget about you."

"Yeah. So that's why last year, I sometimes sabotaged her and made it impossible for you guys to spend time together."

"I still can't believe this."

"Jeremy, I'm sorry about this. I never meant for you guys to split like this. I was just jealous."

"Well, what you did was wrong, and I'm going to tell Mom about it, and you are going to get in trouble for this."

"I-I am? But, I'm your favorite girl. Or, I'm supposed to be."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you're just going to get away with this."

"But-"

"No buts, Suzy. You did something wrong, so you have to suffer the consequences." He finished sternly, not letting up on his tone. He was completely serious with her, as his fury and anger was still getting the best of him. "Now, Mom's at the store, so I'm in charge, and I say you're going to your room."

"No!" Suzy shouted, jumping off the couch. "You can't make me!"

"Suzy, go! Now!"

"I said I was sorry. Why is that not good enough for you?"

"Because this is serious. A simple apology isn't going to make things any better! You really messed up, Suzy. Now go to your room, and don't come out until Mom gets back!"

Suzy wanted to retort back. But, she saw that her brother was serious, and fuming. So she decided to just take her punishment. But, she was not happy, and she did not take it gracefully. She stomped up the stairs in fury, not once looking back at her brother. She understood that he was serious and that he didn't like what she had told him, but she was not happy with the fact that instead of treating her like his best friend like he had been, he was instead treating her like a daughter who had just done something wrong and was being punished for it.

She rushed up to her room and slammed the door behind her. She climbed up to her bed, sat there, and started crying. "I don't get it." She muttered to herself. "I thought Jeremy would be more understanding of me. I'm supposed to be his favorite girl! Not Candace, or anyone else...me! I know I did something wrong, but I admitted my mistake. I thought it would be enough for him." She wiped tears from her eyes as her expression turned sour quickly. "But I guess for him, nothing's ever good enough for him. I mean, Candace was a great girl for him, and he let her go...all because of a stupid mistake I made, and now, neither of them will even make the effort to confront the other."

She wiped her tears quickly and got off her bed. "Well, it's not _my_ fault. If he thinks he can blame me for his loss, he better think again..."

* * *

The kids emptied their invention of trash, and threw out any leftovers that they found around the park. "That's the last of it." Isabella said triumphantly as the last of the trash was thrown away. "And now," She pulled out some papers from her pocket, as well as a pen, and handed them to Phineas & Ferb. "Would you guys sign these papers so we can get our "Environmentalist" patches?"

"Sure, Isabella. Anything for you." He took the papers and pen, and signed his name. Then he passed them to Ferb and he followed suit. "There we are. All done."

"Thanks, guys, for all your help." She took the papers back, then gave each of them a kiss (Phineas's was a real "boyfriend/girlfriend" kiss, while Ferb's was just for being a great friend. She hated to leave him out) "You guys are the best."

"Don't mention it."

"So now what? We're done with earning out patches for the day. What can we do now?" Holly asked them.

"Well, it's right around lunchtime, and I _am_ getting hungry." Phineas noted.

"Yeah, we are too." Adyson spoke, on behalf of the group. "We should probably go home and have some lunch." The other Fireside Girls, except Isabella, agreed with her and followed Adyson out of the park

"Hey, Phineas, is it OK if I join you and Ferb for lunch?" Isabella asked nicely. giggling even.

"Um, I-I don't think that would be a good idea, Isabella." Phineas stuttered nervously; Gorlok's control over him was growing even stronger, causing Phineas to resist the urge to have Isabella over at his house.

"Why not? Are you guys going somewhere?" She persisted, completely clueless as to what was going to transpire.

"No, I just don't want to have you over! OK?" Phineas shouted at the top of his lungs. Gorlok's control spiked quickly, and Phineas's eyes, as well as Ferb's, went pitch-black. "How is that so hard to understand?" Isabella quickly cowered in fear and stepped back. Down a few paces, the other girls heard Phineas scream at his girlfriend and turned around to see if their troop leader was OK. "Geez, you're even more stubborn than my sister is!" But then, he snapped out of it, and saw his cowering girlfriend. "Isabella, what's the matter? You're crying again. Do you need a hug?"

"D-Don't you remember anything?" She asked, stunned that her boyfriend didn't remember anything.

"Remember what?"

"You just went "street" on your girlfriend and insulted her." Ferb explained.

"I did? Huh, I don't remember."

"Yeah. Your eyes suddenly went black and your tone changed from the sweet, innocent boy I love so much to some kind of merciless and unforgiving demon or something."

"Well, I'm sorry, then. You know that I would never mean to hurt you, or anybody for that matter."

"I know you wouldn't. But something's going on."

"Maybe it _does_ have something to do with these stones." Phineas reached into his pocket and pulled out the two stones in his pocket. The aura around the black stone had dispersed, as Gorlok was suppressing his power. "Isabella, would you mind holding onto these for a while?"

"Of course not, Phineas." She took the stones from him, then gave him a big hug. "I'd do anything for you."

"Thanks. Let's see if this has any effect on our behavior."

"And if so, we will dispose of them properly." Ferb replied. "Now, how about some lunch?"

"Yeah, I could go for some grub." Phineas put a hand on his stomach to cease its growling, as the three kids left the park and made their way back to the Flynn-Fletcher home.

* * *

Night had fallen on the Tri-State, and soon, everyone around had turned in for the night, and Phineas & Ferb were about to do the same. "Man, what a day." Phineas said as he yawned, climbing into bed with his warm, cozy pajamas on. "Hey, Ferb, you don't think that anything out of the ordinary is going to come out of our visit to the museum, do you?" He looked to his stepbrother for an answer. He shook his head. "Yeah, I don't think so either. Maybe our behavior was just from a lack of sleep."

"Then we shall rectify that problem tonight." Ferb responded as he climbed into bed as well. "By the way, when _"she"_ supposed to get here?" He asked, referring to how Isabella sneaked by almost every night just to sleep with Phineas. By now, he was well aware of how the two felt about each other, and accepted that what they were doing was just their way of realizing their feelings for each other.

"Who are you...oh, you mean, Isabella? Well, I tell her to stop by after 8:30, because that's when you guys are usually asleep, but for some reason, she seems to be late tonight. Why? Do you have a problem with that? Because I could tell her not to come by."

"No, that's quite alright. You two are in a very awkward stage at the moment, and there's no reason why you two should be forbidden to figure out your feelings for each other."

"Thanks for understanding, Ferb. I'm not sure how Mom, Dad, or even Candace would react to this. But at least I know I can trust you. Anyway, goodnight." He got himself under his blankets and got comfy as he slowly fell asleep. Ferb soon followed suit.

As for Isabella, she was in her bedroom, with her pajamas on, getting ready to head over to Phineas's house when suddenly, the stones that she had been asked to hold on to by Phineas were glowing. They were sitting on her dresser draw, and emanating a bright aura. Curious, she strolled over to the stones and picked them up. "What's this?" She asked herself. "Why are these stones glowing? Maybe it has something to do with that "Gorlok" display Phineas & Ferb went to today. I wonder..."

She took out her laptop and started doing some research on the "Legend of Gorlok". "Here we go: The Legend of Gorlok." She read aloud from the article she found. "Thousands of years ago, ever-lasting peace existed on Earth and was controlled by one magical item, known as the "Stone of Harmony". Then, one day, a helpless man stumbled upon the stone and accidentally broke it, causing it to divide into two separate peaces, one black, and one white. When the stone broke, all of the evil spirits that were locked away were unleashed and entered the body, transforming his soul into that of an evil sorcerer bent of world destruction."

"After years of darkness ruling the world, the secret to defeating the darkness was revealed. Kermillian's Comet passed over the Earth, which gave the stones their unprecedented power, and allowed for the stones to work in the first place. But this time, when it passed, it allowed for the white stone to unleash thousands of good spirits that held back Gorlok and his forces, eventually forcing him into imprisonment into the black stone. Now, thousands of years later, legend has it that in order for the stones to reactivate, they must be in the hands of a person or persons with a powerful soul, so he can feed off of them an reemerge as a dark ruler."

Isabella closed her laptop and pondered for a moment. "Wait, Kermillian's Comet? That passed over last year. So how could those stones retain power for so long." She looked at the stones again, their auras much brighter now. "But it couldn't be...could it? Could these be the legendary stones from long ago? No, that's impossible. This is just a legend. Right?" She hesitated to do anything about it, but ultimately, she decided that the best thing to do was to talk to Phineas about it.

So she took the crystals, put them in her pocket, climbed out her window, and ran across the street to Phineas & Ferb's house. She climbed up the wall up to their bedroom window, where she peered inside and saw that the two boys were fast asleep in their beds. (Phineas had initially opted to stay up and wait until Isabella get there, but fatigue got the better of him and he fell asleep on his stomach). Isabella reached into her pocket and pulled out a small slab and ran it across the edge, allowing her to unlock the window. (Phineas had given it especially to her so she could sneak in if he was ever asleep when she arrived)

She climbed in quietly, making sure not to disturb them or anybody else, and edged towards the bed. She giggled as she watched him sleep for a short while, and thought that even though he was still snoring loudly, it was still extremely cute to her. _He is SO cute!_ She thought to herself. _My mom was right. I do have great taste in guys._ She slowly pulled the blankets off and climbed in right next to him, wiping some drool from his mouth before wrapping her arms around his waist and promptly kissing him on his forehead. "Goodnight, Phineas." She said as she snuggled herself as close to his face as possible before falling asleep.

She was so quick to snuggle to Phineas that she had forgotten about the stones in her pocket, that were now glowing brighter than ever. _You boys think you're smart, leaving me with your girlfriend!_ Gorlok, still trapped inside, said out loud. _Well, you're wrong. I'm stronger than both of you combined, and I'll prove it!_ At that point, the black stone began glistening so bright that it would blind any waking person right in their tracks. As it glowed, both Phineas & Ferb awakened at once, but now, they were under the complete control of Gorlok. Their eyes were pitch-black, and practically lifeless.

Slowly, the two boys got out of bed, Phineas completely ignoring the fact that Isabella was cozied right next to him. Upon realizing that the smooth touch of Phineas's body was no longer next to her, Isabella opened her eyes to see what was happening. "Phineas?" She asked, rubbing her eyes. "What are you doing? You should really come back to bed. You need your sleep." She lectured, but as the two boys went into the closet and came back in their day clothes, they didn't even look at her. "Phineas!" She shouted, in the hopes of getting his attention, but he simply grabbed Ferb's toolbox and the two planned to leave the room through the window.

Isabella got out of his bed and ran up to him, grabbing his arm in an attempt to stop him. "Phineas, you know what staying up late does to you. It makes you irritable and fatigued. You can't handle late nights like a lot of kids. You need to sleep." He turned her way and fiercely took his arm back.

"Stay out of our way, child." Phineas spoke, but in an extremely dark and unforgiving voice, much different from his normal voice. (**A/N: If you're having trouble depicting the voice, you can think of "The Hacker" from the kids show "Cyberchase". I would imagine that voice as the most appropriate.) **The voice threw Isabella for a loop and caused her to back away slowly. "Don't get in our way." He said one more time as he and Ferb climbed out of the window and ran down the street into town. Isabella thought about running after them, but then, ultimately, she decided that it was all a horrible hallucination and that she was just extremely tired, and that when she awakened the following morning, Phineas & Ferb would be in their beds, sleeping peacefully.

So, after long, hard thoughts, she ultimately chose to return back home, and sleep peacefully in her bed. She climbed out the window and ran back home, climbing up the wall of her home, getting through her window, and climbing back into her bed, not disturbing anybody. She had hoped that when she awakened in a few hours, all of what had just happened would just be a bad dream and that she would receive and wonderful wake up call from Phineas. Little did she know that this was only the beginning of the end for the Tri-State.

This was only the beginning of Gorlok's revenge.

**To be continued...**

**End of Episode 46!**

**Next Time: With Gorlok in control of the two most intelligent children around, can the Tri-State Area survive his wrath? And will Jeremy make a move to get back together with Candace?**

**Expected Update: Check my profile page.**


	57. 47: Revenge of Gorlok Part 2

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 47: Revenge of Gorlok Part 2**

**Episode Summary: ****Gorlok has taken complete control of Danville's two most inventive children, and has begun dawning a new age of terror & destruction. With the fate of the Tri-State Area, and possibly the entire world, at stake, Isabella and the rest of the gang must find a way to break Gorlok's control over Phineas & Ferb, and put an end to his terror before it even starts.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Isabella stirred around in her bed, having trouble getting consistent sleep. She kept having the same image pop in and out of her head: the moment when Phineas & Ferb seemingly turned their backs on her and jumped out of the window and ran down the street. Once the image got to that point, Isabella screamed and shot right up in her bed, panting hard. From down in her bed, Pinky, her dog, looked up at Isabella to see what was wrong. "Oh, Pinky, I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that Phineas and Ferb had somehow turned evil and Phineas abandoned me. It was so weird."

But it was then that she remembered that she still had the stones that Phineas asked her to hold on to in her pocket. The white stone had lost its aura, but the black one's aura was even stronger than ever, and now, it was flickering. "Oh no. It wasn't a dream. It was real. Wait..." She got out of bed and rushed to her window, opening the curtains to find not the sun shining through her window. Instead, she could only see pitch black everywhere, and the little things she could see where broken homes, flipped cars, giant flames everywhere, but not the usual orange flames associated with fire. These flames were completely black with a cone of dark gray in the middle. "What the..."

"Isa!" Vivian, her mother, called from downstairs. "Get down here! There's something on the news you have to see!"

Isabella took Pinky and rushed downstairs to see her mom on the couch, watching TV. She joined her to watch with her.

"Our top story today...pandemonium rises in the Tri-State. Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker. Today, a grim morning rises for everyone as we awake to destruction all around us. Dozens of injuries already reported as conditions continue to deteriorate. This reporter asks "How?". How could a beautiful, lustrous Tri-State Area fall from its grace so quickly? Honestly, nobody knows. But we do have some witnesses that could help unravel this problem. For that, we turn to our Asian correspondant Trisha Takanawa, who is out there in the streets, risking her life just to bring us this report."

The scene switched to Trisha Takanawa, on the street. She appeared battered and bruised, as if she was attacked while on the street.

"Tom, many people woke up to the scene of a nightmare today. A black sky, leaves fallen off the trees, holes in the ground...one can only assume that we, as a world, are in the middle of an Armageddon. But who, exactly, is the cause of this Armageddon? For that, we ask the tough questions to witnesses on the street." Trisha turned to a witness who was right next to her. "Sir, did you see anything suspicious?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. Just a minute ago, I saw these two really weird looking boys running across the street."

"What do you mean when you say "weird looking"?"

"Well, for once, they were both wearing nothing but black. One of them had a giant, triangle-shaped nose, and the other had an F-shaped head. When I tried to ask them if they knew what was going on, they turned around and held up their hands at me, and the next thing I knew, I was being lifted into the air and thrown into a building 20 feet away."

"Did you sustain any injuries?"

"Remarkably, no. I was lucky. But I known some people that weren't. Those two crazies took my wife and son, and blasted them to who knows where. I've been searching for them for the past hour and I can't find them anywhere!"

"Triangle shaped head? F-shaped head?" Isabella inquired to herself, trying to put the facts together. "Wait, he couldn't mean..." She then gasped, realizing what they meant. "Oh no! It can't be! Phineas and Ferb!"

"Thank you, kind sir." Trisha spoke on the TV. "Tom, as you can see, whatever is happening here is not pretty. But what is certain is that everyone is naming the same two suspects in this Armageddon rise. Back to you, Tom."

The scene on the TV switched back to Tom in the studio. "Thanks, Trisha. And she's right, everyone who has been interviewed so far has given the same description over the two suspects. Here's an artist's rendering of what they may look like." The scene switched again, this time, to show a picture of an artist's rendering of Phineas and Ferb. However, instead of Phineas & Ferb's picture coming up, a picture of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble from "The Flintstones" came up on the screen. Isabella ignored it and shut the TV off.

"Isa, darling, are you saying that your friends, Phineas & Ferb, are behind this?" Vivian asked.

"Yes, yes I am. But, I don't think it's necessarily their fault. I gotta go find them!" Isabella stood up and ran out the door, with the intent to find her friends and find out what was happening.

"Isa! What's going on?" Her mother called just as she headed out.

"I'll explain later!"

Isabella rushed out of the house to find Django, Irving, Baljeet, Buford, and the rest of her Fireside Girl troop gathered outside, with the same intent in mind. "Guys!"

"Isabella, what's going on out here?" Adyson yelled over the shooting flames, the screaming, and the breaking ground. "It's like Armageddon, only worse!"

"I think it has something to do with Phineas & Ferb, and their trip to the museum yesterday!"

"What do you mean?" Melissa, the youngest, asked.

"I'll explain on the way. But right now, we've got to find those two boys, and fast."

"I know a place where we can start looking." Django remarked, pointing into town towards a very tall, cone-shaped building that it seemingly appeared overnight. It was even taller than Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building, and was pointier towards the top.

"Where did that come from?" Baljeet inquired.

"That has "Phineas & Ferb" written all over it." Isabella said as they all took off for it. "Come on!"

They headed down the street, into town, passing by many destroyed buildings, leaf-less trees, and injured people lying around. As they passed, none of them could believe what they were seeing around them. "Look at all of this destruction." Baljeet said, quivering in his tracks. "Could Phineas and Ferb really have done this?"

"I'm telling you, it's not their fault." Isabella tried to reason with them.

"How could it not be their faults?" Irving asked, rather confused. "You said this was their doing."

"I also said that they went to the museum yesterday. They bought these two stone souvenirs. You know, the stones from the "Legend of Gorlok" display, and I think they were accidentally given the _real_ stones instead of souvenir ones."

"Don't tell me you actually believe in that legend." Baljeet questioned.

"This, coming from the nerd who believes in pixies." Buford called him out.

"That was from years ago. And besides, I-" Baljeet was about to justify his statement, and his belief in pixies, but before he could, he was cut off when a giant fiery blast came their way, forcing them to duck out of the way. "Ah! What was that?" He shouted.

"I don't know. It seems to have come out of nowhere!" Adyson said, standing up and dusting herself off.

"No, it came from the top of that building!" Milly argued, standing up as well and pointing to the top of the building they were approaching. Each of them took a closer look at the top of the building to see what they could find. The building was so tall that all they could see was two extremely small, black figures standing at the top, and what appeared to be capes waving in the wind. "I can't see their faces, but I recognize their head shapes. Yep, that's Phineas & Ferb up there, alright."

"They must be held captive up there. There's no way they could've done this on their own." Holly said, as they stared on at the top of the building. "Come on. Let's go rescue them."

But, before they got a chance to even make a move, another beam of black energy shot down from the top of the building, hitting the kids on target. They assumed that they would all be vaporized, but instead, they were lifted into the air, and slowly began rising towards the top. "Hey, what's going on?" Irving asked. "We're not hurt."

"We're heading towards the top of the building." Isabella pointed out. "Phineas and Ferb are pulling us to the top of the building." The kids quickly found themselves standing on top of the building, and they were all faced to face with their worst fear come to pass: Phineas & Ferb, in nothing but black clothing, and evil smirks on their faces. "Phineas? What's going on here?" Isabella asked her boyfriend nervously, who simply chuckled and stepped closer to her.

"I hope you like the work Ferb and I did on the city." Phineas responded. His smirk only grew wider. The lust for adventure that was seen in his eyes had vanished after surrendering himself to Gorlok. "It took an entire night, but I think it's quite an improvement, if I do say so myself."

"Why're you talkin' like some street punk, nerd?" Buford questioned, openly defying their new evil state of mind. "Do I have to knock some sense into you?"

"You dare defy the mighty Gorlok?" Ferb stepped in.

"Alright, now you're just getting on my nerves. Why don't you-" Buford was cut off abruptly when Ferb & Phineas held their hands out, and, with power given to them by the mighty Gorlok, shot a black energy blast at Buford, knocking him clear off the building, tumbling down the 150 feet drop. But, before he hit the ground, they also used their power to levitate him above the ground, then gently place him on it.

"Consider that a gift. You won't be getting any more." Phineas growled harshly, to Isabella's disdain.

"Phineas, what's gotten into you and Ferb?" Isabella asked, slowly edging to him. "You guys aren't acting like yourselves. Are you telling us that you really did all of this?"

"I believe that's what we just said. How dumb are you, exactly?" He snarled again. "We're the ones responsible for this pathetic town's destruction, and this is only the beginning of our reign of terror. Soon, we will move past this town and to the world! We shall please our master yet!"

"Your master? Phineas, what-"

"_PHINEAS! FERB!" _Came a shrilling voice from below. Everyone looked down below at the ground and saw Candace down there, desperately searching for the boys. "Where are you?"

"Candace! Up here!" Isabella called, waving frantically. Candace looked up and saw Isabella, and everybody else.

"Isabella? Isabella, what are you doing up there?"

"It's a long story, but-"

"Where are Phineas and Ferb? I've gotta get them to safety. We're heading over to the shelter to avoid this destruction, but I can't find them anywhere! It's like they disappeared over the face of the-" She was stopped when she realized that a black energy blast had hit her and began carrying her to the top of the building. "Hey, what's going on? What's happening? Why am I being lifted-"

"Be silent, you filthy wench!" Phineas yelled at the top of his lung as he lifted her all the way to the top and dropped her.

"Phineas? Ferb? Whoa, guys, when did you start going goth?"

"How dare you disrespect us with that pathetic excuse for a voice!" Phineas roared again, edging closer to Candace. "I have half a mind to open a portal to the darkest corners of the Underworld and dropping you down there with nothing but the hair on your head and your over-sized ego in your stomach."

"Over-sized ego? Why, I oughta sock you once just for saying that."

"Well, go ahead. Try it, if you dare."

"OK, bucko. You asked for it." Candace clenched her fists, and pulled one back, ready to strike. Isabella looked away, not wanting to see her beloved future husband or his stepbrother get beaten, even if it would snap them out of it. However, just as she was about to sock him, she was hit yet again. But this time, the blast was so strong that it knocked her off of the building and sent her tumbling down to the ground. It ended with her back slamming into the ground hard. The impact caused the ground beneath her to crack slightly as she began to regain her composure. Once she did, she decided to climb back up the building to confront the boys. Everyone stared down at her for a brief moment.

"Candace!" Isabella screamed, seeing her future sister-in-law being slammed onto the ground and subsequently climbing back up. "Phineas, what did you do?" Isabella turned around to confront him, only to be met with a tall, menacing-looking figure right in front of her. The figure appeared very tall, and on first glance, it appeared like the figure was wearing some sort of body armor. Once the figure stepped out of the shadows, he revealed himself to be a very tall, very buff man with a black, titanium super suit on that had small, orange strips that ran from his shoulders all the way down his arms, and down his torso to his feet. The man revealed himself to be a Gorlok-possessed Jerry Flynn, Phineas & Candace's dad. "You?"

"And I'm just getting started, punks!" He snarled at them. Unbeknown to them, Jerry had been placed under the control of Gorlok after he had taken control of Phineas & Ferb. He used them to track Jerry down, and then possessed him to do his bidding.

"I believe you've met our new apprentice." Phineas smirked. "What do you think of the new suit Ferb and I whipped up for him? Stylish, huh?"

"Phineas, you guys are out of control!" Isabella shouted. "This isn't you! You're being controlled by some evil demon!"

"Evil demon?" Candace, who had miraculously managed to climb back up the tower in record time, inquired. "Oh, is this about that dumb "Gorlok" legend at the museum? Don't tell me you kids actually believe in that hocus-pocus garbage!"

"Do _you_ have a better explanation for this?" Isabella asked her, tapping her foot on the ground in a state of anxiety.

"Point taken."

"Silence, wenches!" Jerry shouted. "You've over-stated your welcome. Now it's time for me to obliterate you into the next world!" Jerry held his hand out and it began glowing black, as he prepared a strong energy blast.

"Hold your fire, my minion!" Phineas shouted; Jerry slowly lowered his hand. "You'll get your chance. But for now, we have more important matters to deal with."

"More important matters?" Adyson asked. "What do you mean "More important matters?"

"I would tell you, but your feeble, tiny minds wouldn't comprehend the complexity and the evil that lies within our plans."

"Did you just us stupid?"

"Look at that. You aren't as dumb as I thought."

"Ignore them, masters." Jerry barked. "Come. Let us get to work. As for you all," He held his hand out again and prepared an energy blast. He fired at a spot just in front of the kids, causing a piece of the debris from the roof to break off, sending all of them flying off the room down to the ground, slamming hard on their backs. Jerry flew down onto the ground, following them. "Don't say you haven't been warned: Stay out of our way or suffer the consequences. Oh, and by the way," He snapped his fingers, and a secret door from the building opened up, revealing a very shadowy figure as well. It appeared to be some sort of animal-like creature. "Have fun with The Master's new "pet".

Jerry broke out into laughter as he flew back up to the roof, leaving the kids to deal with the monster that he had apparently unleashed. The monster stepped out of its shadow to reveal himself as Dr. Doofenshmirtz's pet "guard dog", Ezekiel. His appearance was altered greatly; in usual dirty, green, ripped-up jacket and torn jeans.. However, his facial expression had a look of anger and revenge on it instead of one just meant for survival, and he had even fewer hairs on his head than before, and the hairs looked even more lifeless.

"Hey, that's the monster that attacked me!" Candace shouted, instantly recognizing Ezekiel. "He looks different from last time."

"Maybe Phineas & Ferb did something to him." Baljeet inquired as Ezekiel growled.

"Yeah, he looks different. He almost looks like somebody took away his innocence."

"You mean they neutered him?" Buford shouted, taken aback slightly, though his facts were completely wrong.

"No! I meant they took away what made him an animal, and they turned him into a monster."

"I don't know what the heck that thing is, but it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I can't even tell if it's some Twilight-obsessed Canadian or a-" Buford was cut off when Ezekiel charged at him and pinned him to the ground. He got a few scratches in before Buford managed to kick him off. "That dude's crazy! Run for it!" He turned around and made a break for it, running as fast as his body would let him. Everyone soon followed him, hoping to avoid Ezekiel's wrath.

He chased them down several blocks when they finally managed to edge away from him and hide behind what remained of their old houses. They split up and hid behind several homes in order to confuse him. What they didn't know, unfortunately, was that when Ezekiel was brainwashed by Gorlok to work for him, he heightened his animal senses, including smell, sight, and his ferocious behavior. So, he essentially had the power to locate all of them and take them down in one fell swoop.

Using his heightened sense of smell, Ezekiel was able to detect Isabella's scent, as she was hiding around her own house. He made a dash for her house, and knocked down the fence that separated the frontyard from the backyard. She was hiding behind a trash can, and ducked behind it further when he slowly edged to it. He growled and picked up the trash can, throwing it hundreds of feet in the other direction. Isabella screamed and attempted to run away, but Ezekiel managed to grab her and pin her to the ground before she could.

Ezekiel was about to claw Isabella as hard as he could, but he was stopped when Candace showed up and whistled loudly, drawing Ezekiel's attention away. "Hey, ugly!" Candace shouted. "Leave my brother's best friend alone!" Ezekiel growled and took a step towards her, completely ignoring Isabella, allowing her to stand up and narrowly escape Ezekiel's wrath. Unfortunately, that meant that Candace had to deal with the beast. Luckily, though, she was a much better opponent for him than Isabella, and she was able to handle him.

He tried to charge her and pin her to the ground, but she was far too quick and agile for him, and with her speed, he was able to quickly tire him out. In a frustrated state, he stood up straight, a trait he re-learned after becoming Gorlok's servant, picked up a nearby trash can, and threw it in Candace's directions, preparing to throw it at her. Ezekiel chortled as he prepared to throw the trash can at her, but was stopped when he was grabbed from behind by none other than Jeremy Johnson, who had seen from far away the distress that was ensuing.

He picked up Ezekiel, threw in a few punches, and then threw him aside. "Candace!" He shouted, running over to her.

"Jeremy?" Candace shouted, obviously surprised to see her ex-boyfriend standing there. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to help you guys out. That guys was gonna claw your eyes out."

"Yeah, but I meant, like, "What are you doing here?" As in helping me?"

"Well, I didn't really want to see you get hurt."

"Oh, come on, Jeremy. There has to be more to it than that."

Jeremy sighed. "OK, here it is. Suzy came to me yesterday and confessed that it was her trying to tear us apart."

"Wait, she told you?"

"Yeah. Why? Did she tell you?"

"Yes! And she kept begging me to get back together with you!"

"She begged me, too. But I was so mad at her I didn't even listen to a word she said! I sent her to her room and I haven't spoken to her since. She was really upset, and remorseful."

"Yeah, tell me about it. She really wants us to get back together."

"Well, do _you_ want to get back together?" Jeremy posed a serious question on Candace, as he was truly hoping that she would say "yes". Since their horrible break-up earlier in the summer, he had secretly missed her and hoped they would reconcile.

"Do I? Um, well...uh...I-I don't know."

"What do you mean "I don't know"?"

"See, the things is-" Before Candace could go any further into her explanation, Jeremy found himself being attacked again by Ezekiel. Jeremy screamed, but Ezekiel was relentless and didn't let up, landing as many punches as he could on Jeremy. Candace tried to pull him off of Jeremy, only to be clawed in the face by the beast. "Ow! Hey, that hurt!"

"Candace, get out of here! I'll deal with this...whatever the heck this is."

"No, I can't just leave you here to deal with this monster...even if we are broken up!"

"Just go! I'll be fine!"

Candace was going to argue, but she had a feeling that he would be right. So, she turned around quickly, and, without looking back, she tried to find Isabella and the other kids.

* * *

Meanwhile, downtown, everyone in the Tri-State Area was feeling the effects of Phineas & Ferb's wrath, including Dr. Doofenshmirtz. His building had been completely devastated earlier in the day by Phineas & Ferb's evil forces, and now, he was left in a pile of rubble that he used to call home.

"My home! My beautiful home!" Doofenshmirtz shouted in distress. "It's ruined! And they completely dismantled Norm!" He ran over to a pile of junk and loose bolts, which just so happened to be his robotic assistant, Norm, after Phineas & Ferb had dealt with him. "Norm! Speak to me, my metallic companion!" But alas, Norm could not speak, as he was completely dismantled. "What did those bad people do to you? Oh, if I ever find the person, or persons, who did this to you, I will make sure they pay dearly!"

"Dad!" A faint voice came from the distance. He turned around to see Vanessa, his daughter, and Charlene, his ex-wife, running towards him. Both looked severely beaten and their clothes were torn everywhere. "Thank goodness you're safe."

"Vanessa! Charlene! What happened to you two?"

"I don't know. One minute, we were just watching TV in the living room, and the next minute, our house starts falling apart at the seams." Charlene explained.

"Dad, _you_ didn't do all this, did you?" Vanessa asked her father.

"What? No! Of course not. I mean, I would like to one day, but I don't think I'm responsible for this mass destruction...today, at least."

"Then who is?"

"Whoever it was, they really did a number on Norm. They completely dismantled him and took away the hamsters that power him up."

"And it looks like whoever's done this to us isn't exactly finished yet. We just passed by three more buildings that were in tact earlier, and now they're nothing but piles of rubble. And now, we don't have a home to protect us. We don't have anything."

"Boy, I sure hope my brother Roger is having better luck than we are."

Unfortunately for him, Roger was not. In fact, he was in an even worse predicament. Not only was City Hall completely disintegrated from Phineas & Ferb's wrath, but to add insult to injury, they also stole his suit so he was left in nothing but his boxer shorts. "Hello? Can anybody help me?" He was practically begging for help. "I'm terribly cold. And I need a fresh pair of boxers."

* * *

The children of Maple Drive were now on the run and hoping to avoid Phineas & Ferb. They now had the task of devising a way to break the control Gorlok had over them.

"OK, we lost that creature." Isabella panted as she conferred to the others. "Now what we have to do is get Phineas and Ferb back."

"But how?" Adyson asked. "If the legend is true, and Phineas & Ferb are under some mind control, what are we supposed to do?"

"According to the legend, if we harness the power of this white stone..." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the glowing stone. "...thousands of good spirits will emerge from it and conquer the evil forces Gorlok has created."

"And how exactly do we do that?"

"I don't know." She held the stone up high in the sky. "There's gotta be some way to tap into this stone's power. Maybe we gotta say a special chant or something like that, or maybe we need to do some sort of special dance-" But before she could ponder any longer, she found herself being pummeled by Ezekiel, who had just finished with Jeremy, and was now entrusted with looking for the stones that were the source of his power, instructed telepathically by Gorlok, a new power that came with the mind control. "AHHH!" Isabella screamed. "Get this thing off me!"

"Hey!" Adyson shouted as she and the rest of the Fireside Girls rushed to Isabella's aide. "Let go of our chief!" The girls all struggled desperately to pull Ezekiel off of Isabella. He was trying to grab the stones from Isabella's hands. "Let go of him!" The girls all began screaming incoherently as they worked together to pull Ezekiel off of him. Unfortunately, they weren't able to stop him from getting the stones out of Isabella's hands.

"He's got the stones!" Baljeet yelled. "Get him!"

Ezekiel growled, then started running away in the other directions, towards Phineas & Ferb. "Hey, come back!" Isabella yelled, as she and the others went after him to get the stones. Ezekiel led the kids all the way to the tower where Phineas and Ferb stood, looking over the Tri-State Area that was quickly collapsing. Ezekiel, though, was far too quick for the kids to catch up to before he returned to the tower.

"Well, well, Ferb." Phineas grinned sinisterly. "Looks like we have some unwelcome guests."

"Now the only question is...how do we assimilate them?"

"We could try out that new death laser we've just built."

"Nah, now's not the time. Let's save it for when we're done with this filthy planet."

"And of the intruders?"

"Let's allow our pet to take care of them."

Down on the ground, Ezekiel was now attempting to climb up the tower and give the stones to Phineas and Ferb, with the intent of destroying them both so they couldn't be used to lock Gorlok away again. "He's heading up the tower!" Isabella shouted.

"If they get their hands on those stones, who knows what could happen?" Irving yelled. "We have to stop him!"

"But he's so quick." Adyson pointed out, noting how Ezekiel was already nearly a quarter of the way up the tower. "We can't possibly catch him."

"_I_ can." Isabella said quickly, not wasting time as she started to scale the building after Ezekiel.

"Isabella, no! It's too dangerous!" Gretchen yelled to her, trying to talk some sense into her. But it was far too late, as Isabella was already up and quickly gaining on Ezekiel. "Wow, she moves fast."

Isabella soon found herself side-by-side, right next to Ezekiel, only halfway up the tower. "Hey, you! Give us back those stones!" Ezekiel lacked the ability to speak words, so instead, he responded with a growl. "Playing hard to get, huh? Well, two can play at that game. Catch me if you can, sucker!" And with that, Isabella started climbing back up the tower to get to Phineas & Ferb first. Ezekiel growled and soon followed her, almost passing her a few times.

The two attempted to exchange a few punches on the way up, with Ezekiel getting most of them in. Nevertheless, Isabella refused to give in and continued her pursuit up the tower. Eventually, she did manage to make it to the top, albeit just ahead of Ezekiel.

"It's about time you got up here." Phineas smirked.

"Oh, save it, Gorlok! I know that it's you talking and you're just using Phineas & Ferb to communicate." Isabella shouted, determined to get her boyfriend & his stepbrother back.

"Well, you're not as dumb as you look, child!" He spoke again, though this time, Gorlok's true voice was used instead of Phineas's. "But you are as weak. You're just getting in the way of my domination of this world! Hand me those stones, child!"

"I don't have them. Your little "pet" has them." She responded, and then, as if on cue, Ezekiel had finished his climb up the tower with the stones still in his hands.

"Excellent." Gorlok spoke, through Phineas. He chuckled as Ezekiel neared him. "Now, give me those stones!"

"NO!" Isabella screamed, running in front of Ezekiel to block him. "You're not getting those stones until I get my friends back."

"Please, child. You're in no position to be bossing me around!" Gorlok raised Phineas's hand and, with his powers, began to telepathically gain control of the stones, slowly lifting them out of Ezekiel's hands. But, before he could pull them in, Isabella grabbed them and started pulling on them with all her might. "Let go, you simpleton."

"Give me back my friends, and you can have the stones!"

"Oh, is that all I have to do?" He was starting to mock her. "Very well. Here you go." And as he snapped Phineas's finger for him, he & Ferb suddenly found themselves collapsing to the ground, slowly regaining control of themselves. Meanwhile, with Phineas and Ferb out of his control, Gorlok was finally free to reveal himself: He was a very tall, muscular man (if that at all), and he wore a black & red suit, with alternating colors with each section, a red, torn up cape, tall, black boots, and an eye patch over his eye. "And now, the stones." He held out his hand, and pulled the stones away from Ezekiel to him, then used his other hand to blast Isabella & Ezekiel off of the building.

The force of the blast also knock Phineas & Ferb off of the building. The impact would have severely injured all four, but the Fireside Girls (and Candace, who had just joined the group.) used their sashes to create a makeshift trampoline (similar to the one they made when Isabella had gotten the hiccups last summer), and with it, they saved all four from peril.

"Wait, what are Phineas & Ferb doing down here?" Candace shouted, unaware of the fact that Phineas & Ferb had just been freed from Gorlok's control.

"It's OK, Candace. Gorlok set them free." Isabella explained, just as Phineas & Ferb were regaining consciousness.

"Ugh...C-Candace?" Phineas spoke softly, opening his eyes and looking up at her. "I-Isabella? Guys? What's...What's going on?"

"Phineas? Ferb? Are you really back?"

"Back? What are you talking about?" Phineas rubbed his eyes open and helped Ferb & Isabella up. "What's going on?"

"You guys don't remember? You were put under some crazy, hypnotic spell, and you caused so much destruction to the Tri-State Area." Isabella explained.

"Destruction?" Phineas opened his eyes widely and took a good look around, as did, Ferb. Both saw the exact same thing: the Tri-State they had both come to love in ruins, and at their hands. "Oh my gosh. Ferb and I did _this_?"

"Yes, yes you did. But it wasn't your fault. That meanie Gorlok took control of you-"

"Gorlok? Wait, you mean the legend is real?"

"That's what it appears like." Ferb responded, as Ezekiel was now regaining consciousness.

"So...how do we fix it?"

"We're not entirely sure. We know we have to use the white stone somehow." Isabella began. "But there's just one problem. Gorlok took the stones from us."

"What!" Everyone shouted simultaneously.

"You're kidding!" Baljeet shouted afterwards. "The stones are in the hands of that fiend now?"

"Unfortunately. I had to trade him the stones for Phineas & Ferb. I know, it probably wasn't a good trade."

"It's not all bad." Candace assured her. "We _do_ have Phineas & Ferb back."

"Yeah, but now he has the stones! Who knows what he could do with them?"

Before anyone could try and answer Isabella's question, another energy blast hit the ground beneath them and knocked them all back several feet. They looked up and saw Jerry Flynn, still under Gorlok's control, slowly return to the ground. "You kiddies need to be worrying about what you could be doing with yourselves? And by that, I mean you should start running before I blast you into oblivion!"

"D-Dad?" Phineas was visibly stunned to see that his own biological father was threatening to attack him. "B-But I thought you were...I thought we put you on the straight and narrow."

"Gorlok got to him, Phineas." Isabella said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He's under his control, now."

"That's right. And I'll make sure that you all stay out of the master's way while he completes his master plan." Jerry pressed a button on his new suit, and instantly, out popped two giant wing-shaped jet boosters that would launch him into the air. "Oops. Wrong button." Before he could even react, the rocket boosters sent him soaring into the air. He screamed as he was propelled 1,000 feet into the air and down the road, only to have his rocket boosters fail on him and send him pummeling back down to the Earth, where he subsequently crashed into one of the few buildings that was still intact: Cleveland's house. (And, well...you know the rest)

Phineas & the others stared on as they watched him crash into the building. "Well, that was convenient, if not painful." Phineas spoke with a hint of concern and sadness in his voice. "I hope he's OK."

"I think he will be. He's a tough guy, and you get that from him, Phineas." Isabella replied reassuringly. "What we need to focus on now is getting those stones back from Gorlok and finishing him off once and for all. We just have to get back up that tower. But how?" As the kids all began to ponder on that thought as Ezekiel slowly crawled to them and tugged on her dress, whimpering, even. "What do you want?" Ezekiel pointed in the direction of the tower, attempting to show them something. He ran up to the tower. "Hey, where are you going?"

The kids all followed him up to the tower, where Ezekiel pulled out a brick from its place. Almost instantly, a passage, seemingly from the ground, shot up, when it reality, it was actually several of the bricks in the building pulling away, revealing a secret passage. "Whoa, it looks like some sort of secret passage!" Phineas shouted.

"Maybe it leads to the top of the building." Candace suggested.

"Only one way to find out. Let's go." Phineas cleared the way to allow the rest of the kids, and Ezekiel, to run up the stairs that led to the top of the tower. Phineas was about to follow behind his stepbrother, but Isabella held him up. "What's wrong, Isabella?" She didn't say a word. Instead, she responded by lifting him off his feet, carrying him like a mother carries a young child, and kissing him lovingly. "What was that for?"

"This is my way of saying "I'm glad to have you back"." She responded, giggling. "I missed you."

"Aw, I missed you too. But I know you would've found a way to get me and Ferb back."

"I know. It's just nice that I got you back now, and that we can be together again."

"Are you sure it's not just because you missed sleeping on my "cute little butt"?"

"No, no, Phineas. What are you, crazy? I really did miss you. Of course, having my firm, comfy pillow back is great, too. But, uh, Phineas, just to be clear, it's not "little". It was never little." She kissed him again and giggled as she started running up the stairs, following everybody else up the building.

The secret passage took them to the very top of the building, and to the other side as well, so they were far away from Gorlok's view. Gorlok was right next to the "death ray" that he forced Phineas & Ferb to build. "Those pathetic fools." He uttered to nobody in particular. "They thought they were building me a death ray with this thing." Without warning, he pushed it over the edge of the tower and watched as it fell to the ground. "They were just diverting attention away from my real invention, which they had already built!"

Gorlok lifted his arms into the air, and, without warning, the roof of the building began to pull apart until finally, the roof was almost completely gone and only the edges remained, leaving the kids with very little room to stand. This brave, yet foolish act revealed that the tower Phineas & Ferb had built was in actuality, a live, active volcano that was going to erupt at any moment.

"Those fools. They built me my ultimate weapon of destruction! Once this volcano erupts, it will engulf the entire Tri-State Area, then, the entire world, in hot, steaming lava! I'll rid myself of this planet once and for all."

He snapped his fingers, and an electronic timer appeared before him, and began counting down from 30 minutes. "Enjoy your final minutes of life, puny humans! Soon, you will all be vanquished! Because, once the timer clicks to zero, I will drop these-" He held out the two stones he had stolen from Phineas & Ferb. "-stones into the volcano, which will then cause the volcano to overload with power, and then, it will erupt and cover the entire Tri-State, and then the world, in boiling, molten lava!"

"Not if we stop you!" Isabella yelled from across the volcano, putting Phineas down, allowing him to stand on his own. "We won't allow you to destroy this world, no matter how messed up it may be."

Gorlok chortled. "But there's no possible way for you kiddies to stop me!" He held out his arm so his hand, still clutching the stones, hanged just over the volcano. "One false move and you can kiss your planet goodbye!" Just as Gorlok was about to release his grip, he heard a faint noise coming from behind him. It sounded like a rocket coming towards him, and without any warning, he turned around and blasted a black energy blast at whatever was behind him. It was only when he came to did he realize that he realized that he had just blasted his own apprentice, Jerry Flynn, who had recovered from his earlier beating and returned to assist Gorlok. But now, he was once again plummeting to the ground, in agony.

"Dad!" Phineas yelled!

"Don't get your pants in a knot, kid. I was going to dump the old man when I was done with him anyway."

"Wow. You truly are an evil monster."

"Why thank you. Now, unless you want the world's death to be imminent, I suggest you not make a single move towards me, or else-" But before he was able to finish, he found himself being pushed right off the edge of the volcano by Ezekiel, who had seized the opportunity to jump Gorlok. He pushed him off and followed him as he plummeted to the ground. But, just before he hit the ground, he sighted the stones, and reached out, grabbing them and keeping them safe in his grip before he hit the ground hard, causing it to crack slightly.

"Hey! That man-beast got the stones!" Buford shouted from atop the volcano, as he and the other kids had slowly made their away across to the other side of the volcano.

"But it looks like he hit the ground hard." Phineas remarked, noticing how Ezekiel wasn't awakening right away. "And it looks like that evil monster's about to rise to his feet." Phineas noted that Gorlok was quickly recovering from the fall. But just at that moment, Jeremy and Kurt busted into the scene.

"Whoa, dude, what the heck is going on here?" Kurt questioned, having not been a part of the adventure up to that point.

"Jeremy! Kurt!" Candace yelled from the volcano. "You've gotta get the stones from that thing's hands and keep it away from that evil creature!"

"Roger that!" Jeremy yelled back, giving her a thumbs up, but as they rushed to do the job, a thought dawned on them. They had no idea what she was talking about. "Wait, I'm confused? Which one is supposed to be the "thing"?"

"The guy who's not awake, genius!" Candace yelled back in frustration. Jeremy and Kurt managed to understand that and raced over to Ezekiel, prying his hands open and getting the stones from him.

"You two!" Gorlok boomed. "Hand over those stones, now!"

"I don't think so, tall, creepy, and ugly!" Jeremy yelled, as the kids atop the volcano quickly made their way back down to the ground to join him & Kurt.

"Oh, I think you misunderstood me, child!" Gorlok held out his hand and, with his power, slowly began taking over Jeremy's mind. "Give me the stones."

"Y-Yes...master..." Jeremy slowly uttered, walking towards Gorlok against his own will. But Kurt, thinking quickly, tackled Jeremy to the ground and held him down while Candace rushed in and pried Jeremy's hands open, grabbing the stones from him.

"Ha! You won't get these stones from me!" Candace said rather smugly. "I'm not as weak minded as Jeremy is. No offense, of course."

"We'll see." Gorlok lifted his hand and aimed it at Candace, aiming to take control of her, only to be tackled to the ground again. But this time, it was Ezekiel who tackled her to the ground, having regain consciousness during the commotion. This allowed the others to take off down the street back towards Phineas & Ferb's house.

* * *

Once they returned to the remains of the Flynn-Fletcher home, the children all began contemplating their offensive plan against Gorlok. "OK, so now we have the stones back from that monster. But how can we possibly use them to get rid of him?" Phineas pondered out loud.

"Well, whatever we do, we _cannot _let that guy take them back!" Isabella reminded them. "We just can't."

"But then what are _we_ supposed to do with them?" Candace asked them. I mean, if there really _is_ some ancient power that exists in them, how are we possibly going to tap into it to stop that beast?"

"I think I may have an idea, though to you all, it may seem preposterous." Ferb jumped in.

"What is it, Ferb?"

"Well, in the prophecy, it states that the source of the stones' power comes from Kermillian's Comet. Well, perhaps if we were to somehow get Kermillian's Comet to pass over Danville again, and we throw the stones into it, they'll overload with power, and revert everything back to normal."

Everyone took a quick moment to ponder over the idea Ferb had placed on the table. In a way, it did make sense, though it wasn't exactly a taylor-made idea, and the consequence of failure were unknown. "Well, you're right about one thing, Ferb." Phineas finally spouted after a moment of silence. "It _is_ rather preposterous. But, at this point, I don't think we have a choice."

"That's crazy!" Candace shouted. "I mean, it's not like we can just whistle and expect Kermillian's Comet to just come to us. We still have to wait another 72 1/2 years for it to come back. Remember?" (**A/N: Remember, this story takes place 1 year after the summer the series is currently in) **

"True. But, that does give me an idea. Everyone, follow me!" Phineas led his friends towards the backyard and quickly, through his clever tree-entrance assembled from his adventure with Ferb as "The Beak", dove down to his underground lab, as he and Ferb referred to it as, and quickly came back up, holding a small cube. Walking out of the tree, he threw the cube onto the ground, and magically, it transformed into a vial of light purple liquid.

"OK, and what exactly are we supposed to be looking at?" Isabella asked.

"This, my dear friends, is a vial containing dark matter in liquid formation." Phineas explained.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, see, this dark matter has a special chemical ingredient that amplifies attraction."

"So it works like perfume?"

"Sort of. Except this liquid solution has been altered so instead of attracting human beings, it'll attract Kermillian's Comet. Now, all we have to do is dump it on somebody. The solution will only work if it comes in contact with human flesh first. I'll do it."

"Phineas, no!" Isabella shouted, grabbing the vile before Phineas could. "What'll happen?"

"Well, if my calculations are correct, the concentration of dark matter in this potion is so large that it'll attract Kermillian's Comet, despite the fact that it's far past Danville by now. Then, we can just throw the stones into the mighty comet, and hope that the overloading power between the three objects will result in an explosion so huge that it wipes Gorlok completely off the face of the Earth."

"And...if there _is_ no explosion?"

"Oh, there will be an explosion. In fact, the only downside to this plan is that it could cause an explosion so large that it would completely destroy all of humanity."

"So it either works and Gorlok goes bye-bye or it doesn't work and we all go bye-bye." Buford responded, sorting through all of the logic.

"Yeah, that's basically it. And since Ferb and I caused all this destruction, I'm willing to take the fall for us all."

"No." Ferb shouted, walking over and reaching for the vial from Isabella. "I shall do it."

"Are you sure, Ferb? If this doesn't work, you'll probably be the first one to perish."

"I know, and that is a sacrifice I'd be willing to take, especially after everything you and I have done to this place."

"OK, Ferb. Let's do this." Phineas took the vile from Isabella and splashed it all over Ferb, covering him in an aroma of dark matter.

"Good luck Ferb." Gretchen said in a soft voice, not loud enough for him to hear, but based on how Ferb turned in her direction, winked, and gave her a thumbs up, she assumed that he had heard her.

"Now, in a few seconds, the dark matter will go into effect, and soon enough, we'll be seeing Kermillian's Comet heading our way-"

"YOU!" Boomed a deep, deep voice in the distances. Everyone turned in that direction and saw that it was a very battered and beaten Gorlok. His outfit was torn in several places and he appeared to be bruised in his upper body. Ezekiel, who also appeared to take some damage from their ensuring battle., was biting down hard on his cape, hanging on for dear life. "You thought you were all so clever sending your little buddy out to get me."

"_Our_ fuzzy buddy? You're the one who took control of him with your special powers and stuff!" Candace objected.

"Control? No, I'm afraid you have it all wrong. I didn't need to take control of him. Look at this boy. His mind has been reduced to that of a feral animal. All I need was a piece of bread to gain his trust. Then, I could get him to do whatever I wanted."

"Well, I guess he's not as _feral_ as you thought he was."

"No matter. I have no more use for him." He reached behind him and grabbed Ezekiel by the neck, and flung him in the gang's direction, forcing them to back away as Ezekiel hit the ground hard. "This world will be gone soon enough anyway...just as soon as I can get my stones back." He held his hand out. "So if you would kindly give them back to me, child."

"I don't think so!" Candace shouted, still in possession of the stones.

"I don't think you're in any position to be giving me orders, girlie!" Gorlok held out his hand and started charging up an energy blast. Little did he know that slowly, but steadily, Kermillian's Comet was being pulled towards Danville thanks to Phineas and Ferb's brilliant invention. "Now I'll ask you again. Hand over those stones or perish!"

Meanwhile, up in the sky, beneath the dark clouds that covered the Tri-State, came a faint, blinding light, a light that could only come from a comet.

"I don't think _you're_ in any position for order-giving, ugly!" Candace shouted, having noticed the light gradually get bigger as the comet edged towards them.

"And why, dear child, is that?"

"Because your reign of terror ends right here!" She held the stones high in the air, still clutched in her fists. It was at this point that the comet was in full view, racing down, as if it was going to crash right into the ground. "Say goodbye, ugly!" Candace shouted once more as she pulled back, and with all her strength, threw the stones towards the comet. Gorlok could only help but look up and watch as the stones went way up towards the spiraling comet. Only a few seconds later, the stones and the comet met up and collided with each other.

At first, nothing appeared to happen. But then, after a brief pause, a light began to shine between the stones and the comet. "What's happening?" Isabella asked as the light grew brighter.

"It's working. It's working!" Phineas responded. The light was now so bright that the scene looked like something from a horror film.

"No. No! This can't be!" Gorlok shouted, raising his fists into the air. But it was too late for him to do anything about it. Soon, the light began growing, spreading throughout the entire time, and eventually, the entire Tri-State Area.

The light soon consumed Gorlok in its path. At first, the light seemed to be doing no damage at all to the menace to society. However, as the light grew stronger, Gorlok grew weaker. He started screaming in sheer agony, as the light was now draining him of his power. Eventually, the entire Tri-State was covered in the light, and with that, Gorlok's body was completely drained of power, and as he let out one final shriek of agony, his body began to disintegrate into nothingness until absolutely nothing was left.

The light finally cleared after a prolonged pause of what seemed like nothing. But, in reality, the blinding light was actually erasing all of the destruction and pain Gorlok had caused in his short visit back to Earth. The resulting light also removed his control over Jerry Flynn, who was now regaining consciousness, and use of his own mind. When the light finally did clear, the sky was still dark, though this time, it was indicating nighttime, due to the fact that the dark stormy clouds had faded away.

Gorlok was long gone, having been bested by Phineas, Ferb, & their friends. As for Ezekiel, who had been grabbing onto Gorlok's cape before the explosion, was spared from the Comet's wrath, and had decided to return home to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. As for the comet, it returned to the sky, as if nothing had ever happened. As for Jerry, he decided to flee from the city, not remembering anything that had happened.

Phineas, Ferb, & everybody looked up into the sky to stare at the beautiful, clear, nighttime sky. "Well, guys, I think we did it." Phineas said triumphantly, with his & Ferb's clothes having been reverted back to their normal styles. "That vicious enemy is gone, and by the next episode, everything will be back to normal."

"You said it." Isabella remarked, embracing Phineas & kissing him as she stared at the sky. "What a beautiful sky. Not a cloud in sight."

"It's getting late. I think it's time we all went to bed."

Everyone murmured in agreement as they all started heading back to their own homes, including Isabella, who, despite wanting to stay and sleep over with Phineas, decided to return home as well. As Candace was about to head inside, she was stopped by Jeremy, who came running up to her. "Candace!"

"Jeremy? W-What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"I couldn't wait, Candace. Look, there's something I have to say." He took a deep breath. "Candace, I like you a lot, and I miss you. I know you might still be a bit upset with me, and I know you really like this Kurt guy alot - and he _is_ a great guy - but I was just wondering if -"

"If I wanted to get back together with you?" She finished for him.

"Yeah. You know, to just go back to the way things were."

"Jeremy, if there was a way to just go back and avoid all of this useless bickering, I would love for it to happen. But..."

"But what?"

"See, the thing is...last summer, when I was so busy chasing you and trying to bust my brothers, I let myself get out of control. I was absolutely crazy to the point where I actually hit my brothers, I nearly turned my back on two of the best friends I could ever ask for (Stacy & Jenny), _and_ I still couldn't act like myself around you. With Kurt, it's different. I feel so relaxed when I'm around him. And now that I don't have to worry about busting my brothers, I can just devote all of my attention to him."

"You like this guy a lot, don't you?"

"I do. I really do. I'm sorry, Jeremy. I still want us to be friends, because I do miss you a lot. But after everything that's happened, I don't think a romantic relationship between us would be the best thing right now."

"You're probably right. Well, I'd best be getting home. Bye, Candace." He turned around and started heading for his house, while at that point Kurt came up to Candace.

"I'd best be getting home, too. See you tomorrow, Candace." He said softly, turning around and heading for his home, too. Candace waved to both of them, then sighed, and turned back to go inside. As she was heading back inside, she heard a soft chattering noise. She looked down and saw that it was Perry, who had rejoined them.

"Oh, there you are, Perry. You missed all the excitement."

**End of Episode 47!**

**Well, there you go. Now, just a couple of notes**

**1) I've decided to make my upcoming "World's Dumbest" parody into a separate fanfiction, so it doesn't take up room from other ideas. 2) I'm going to wait to post it, until I have more ideas handy. For now, just continue to enjoy these chapters.**

**Next Time: In an effort to buy a nice gift for Isabella, Phineas signs up for a junior art class. But he gets more than he bargained for when he discovers what he actually signed up for.**

**Expected Update: Check my Profile Page.**


	58. 48a: The Power of Art

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 48a: The Power of Art**

**Episode Summary: ****In order to get a gift for Isabella, Phineas looks to find a part time job, and believes he has found one at the Danville Art Center. But he gets more than he bargained for when he discovers what he actually signed up for. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz attempts to help Vanessa win a poster-making contest. But a disagreement between the two pits them against each other.**

**A/N: I can't take credit for this idea. I have to thank vcawarrior15 for coming up with the idea and giving me permission to use it. Thanks again. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined on another glorious day in Danville. Everyone was out and about, including Phineas & Ferb. At the moment, they were out in town with their parents, Candace, and Perry, as the parents decided to treat them with a little bit of shopping money.

"OK, kids, here's your money." Linda said, handing Candace, Phineas, & Ferb $20 each. "You can buy whatever you want. We meet back at Paul Bunyan's Pancake Haus in an hour."

The kids all ran off in different directions to find something they liked. The first stop Phineas made was at the appliance store. He was hoping to get a new screwdriver since the one he and Ferb had broken several days earlier. He looked in the window and didn't see any screwdrivers at all. "Aw, man. I guess they're out. Oh well, since I'm here, maybe I can find a store with something Isabella would like." He walked to the store right next to it, which turned out to be a women's clothing store. He peered in the window and saw a small, pink dress that would fit Isabella perfectly. "Wow, that dress is beautiful. Isabella would love it."

He ventured into the clothing store with the hopes of buying the dress. But when he saw the price tag on it, he immediately bolted for the door. "Whoa, that is way too much money for me. I only have 20 bucks to spend. Where I am possibly going to get the rest?" He looked over to his side and saw a piece of paper taped to the wall. He tore it off and read it. "Danville Art Center looking for child models to assist in beginner classes. Recommended for ages 9 through 13.' Hey, I'm age 9 through 13! 'Pays $50 per class.' Hey, that sounds like fun, and it pays a lot. Just two classes and then I'd be able to buy Isabella this dress. And according to this, the next class is later this afternoon at 5:00. But where _is_ the Danville Art Center?"

He looked around, and just across the street, he saw a building named "Danville Art Center". "Oh, there it is." He ran across the street holding the flyer, and went through the front door up to the counter. "Excuse me?" He said kindly, getting the man's attention. "Where do I sign up to be your "child model" for the beginner classes?"

"Right here, dear child." He said confidently, stepping away from the desk to get a good look at Phineas. "Ah, yes, you have quite a natural physique."

"Uh, thank you?" Phineas responded, unsure whether to take it as a compliment due to his tone of voice.

"You would be perfect as our child model. Here." The man pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Phineas. "These are your instructions for your classes. Your first class is tonight at 5. Can you make it?"

"Duh. I wouldn't have come if I couldn't."

"Excellent. Don't be late and follow those instructions."

"You can count on me!"

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, over by Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the evil scientist was busy working on a new "-inator", free of interruptions, when without warning, a knock came at his front door. "Oh, who could that be at such an early hour?" He put down his tools and approached the door. He opened it hesitantly and was surprised to see his daughter, Vanessa, standing there.

"Hey, dad. I need help." She said quickly, as she was invited in.

"What's the matter, Vanessa?"

"Well, the Danville Art Center is hosting this contest to find its new promotional poster, and entries are due today. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me come up with a drawing to enter. Winner gets $1,000 and a promotional Mike Piazza bobblehead."

"Mike Piazza Bobblehead? Oh, I love that guy! He's my favorite baseball player, like, ever! Alright, I'm in. But I call dibs on the bobblehead."

"Uh, fine. It's yours."

Doofenshmirtz led Vanessa into the room and together, they sat down at the table, got out paper & pens, and started brainstorming ideas. "OK, so what is it that you want to draw for your "poster" thing?"

"I don't know. Maybe something like a little boy with an easel and a paintbrush or something on those simple lines."

"Oh, OK. I suppose that's fine. Let me see." Doofenshmirtz grabbed a pencil and started sketching the idea. It took him only a few seconds to complete it. "Voila!" He held up his finished product, only to reveal it as a simple stick figure holding a pencil with a poorly drawn easel.

"Dad, what the heck am I looking at?"

"What? It's a guy with an easel & pencil. Just like you asked."

"Not for nothing, but this is...kinda pathetic."

"Oh? You're saying you could do better than me? I'm your father for pete's sake!"

"So?"

"SO? So _I'm_ supposed to be better at drawing than you."

"You can't even come up with an evil invention that works without being stopped by Perry the Platypus. He's a platypus, dad. He's not supposed to do much."

"I get it, now. You don't really want my help. You just came to show me up, didn't you?"

"No, Dad, That's not it at all."

"Oh I think that's exactly what it is. Well, fine! I'll show you! I'll show all of you!" He took a bunch of the papers with him, along with some pencils, and walked away from the table, moving to another table a few paces down. "I'll create a better poster than you ever could, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz! This I swear!" He sat down at another table and began working on his poster.

"Dad, that's not-" She tried to convince him that he was simply overreacting, but he was too stubborn at the moment to listen. So she sighed, and got back to drawing a poster of her own.

* * *

After his stop at the Art Center, Phineas returned to Paul Bunyan's Pancake Haus to meet up with his family, where they subsequently drove back home. Immediately, Linda noticed that Phineas had not bought anything for himself. "I see you didn't buy something, Phineas. Something wrong?"

"Huh? OH no. I just didn't see anything I wanted to buy for myself."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"But I did find something Isabella would love. This small, pink dress that's just her size."

"That's wonderful."

"Unfortunately, it costs $120."

"Why didn't you say anything before we left. I would've given you the extra money."

"But then that wouldn't be fair to Ferb or Candace. You only gave them twenty bucks. Why should I get any special treatment? But don't worry, because I just got a part-time job."

"Part time job?" Candace looked to her side, raising an eyebrow. "Where?"

"At the Danville Art Center. They're looking for child models to use for beginner's classes, and he's willing to pay me $50 per class. I start tonight at 5."

"Child models? Uh, Phineas, are you sure you know what you're signing up for?"

"Of course I do. I'm going to help inspire and shape developing artistic minds. I can't wait. Just two classes and then I can afford that dress for Isabella."

"OK, Phineas. Just as long as you know what you're doing."

"What could possibly go wrong with a simple art class?"

"You'd be surprised, Phineas. You'd be surprised." It was by this moment that Phineas realized that Perry had disappeared. "Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa were still working on the latter's poster project, only by now, they were pitted against each other over a heated argument that the former caused. Now, they were sitting at separate tables, working on their own, individual posters to see which one had the best idea. Vanessa's poster was going to consist of a young girl, one drawn in her image, smiling, while holding a sketch notebook in one hand and a pencil in the other hand. The background around her would be one of sunshine, joy, and peace.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz's drawing would consist of him standing on top of a tall skyscraper, laughing maniacally as he watched over many small, identical-looking people as they walked in a straight line with shackles on their wrists and ankles. Flames engulf the outer edges of the paper, representing his lust for power and his merciless approach. Unfortunately, the image was so poorly drawn that instead, it looked like Elton John and the late Elizabeth Taylor dancing horribly to a Beatles' song. (**A/N: Elizabeth Taylor died peacefully on March 23rd, 2011 from complications due to heart failure. R.I.P, Taylor.)**

It was at this moment that Perry decided to pop his head into the room to see what was happening. Doofenshmirtz was the first to notice. "Perry the Platypus? Oh, this is so unexpected. But wait. This could actually be perfect. Come in, come in." Perry hesitantly entered through the window and approached his nemesis. "You see, Perry the Platypus, Vanessa and I are in a bit of a disagreement."

"Dad's overreacting to my criticism over his drawings." Vanessa interrupted, in a rather bored tone, to her father's disdain.

"Overreacting? No, I think you're _under-reacting_. I mean, did you just hear yourself? You sound bored."

"Well, of course, Dad. You're blowing this way out of proportion. It's just a silly poster contest. I want to win, but I don't want to let this take over my mind."

"You're just jealous because I'm going to win that bobble-head. And-And you know what? Perry, you could be our judge. Yeah, you can decide which one of our drawings is better, and the winner will be the one Vanessa submits for the Art Center's contest."

"You're asking your own nemesis, whom, may I remind you, is a platypus, to be an art judge."

"Oh, so now you don't think platypuses are creative? They may not do much, but they sure know a good drawing when they see one."

Vanessa sighed. "Fine, Dad. Whatever. But remember, you asked for this." She shook her head and got back to her drawing, while Perry stood by, observing them as they both put their ideas down on paper.

* * *

Several hours had passed, and things at the home were pretty much uneventful. Phineas & Ferb spent the day just thinking of other ideas to do for the remaining weeks of their summer. During the time, Phineas seemed a bit distracted during the day, as he had spent most of his time thinking of his first part-time job at the center, truly unaware of what was about to happen to him. Though curious, Ferb did proceed with questioning his stepbrother.

4:30 soon arrived, prompting Phineas to prepare for his first Art Center class. "Let's see." He got out the list of instructions he was given. "Let's see. Hmm, there's only one thing on this list: Wear a robe. Hey, I can do that." He pulled out a long, red rob that went down to his knees, got his shoes on, and went downstairs. "Hey, Mom!" He called to his mother, who was sitting on the couch, watching TV. "Come on. I have to be at the Art Center in half an hour."

"Alright, alright. I'm up." She stood up and walked over to him. "Why are you wearing a bathrobe?"

"Because my instructor told me to wear a bathrobe. I don't know why. He didn't really say."

"Oh well. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Good luck, Phineas. Don't do anything you're going to regret." Lawrence said to his stepson.

"Thanks, Dad. Don't worry. I won't." Phineas responded as Linda led him out to the car, and then promptly drove him towards the Art Center in town.

"Do you want me to come inside with you to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"No, that's OK, Mom. I can do it. Just wait out here in case they decide to fire me, OK?"

"Of course, sweetheart." As Phineas exited the car, Linda gave him a kiss goodbye and wished him luck. "Good luck."

"Thanks, Mom." He responded as he went inside the building and found the room of his first class. Inside, the class was just starting. There weren't many people gathered in the room, but the students who were gathered were young adults, mostly in their mid 20's.

"And so, class, today, you will be venturing the mind and the soul of a young, misunderstood soul." The instructor explained to his students as Phineas entered. "Ah, and here he is now." He said optimistically as Phineas approached him. His expression, though, fell, when he saw that Phineas was wearing his clothes underneath the robe. "Um, son, why are you wearing clothes underneath that robe?"

"What do you mean? Your letter just said to wear a rob. And that's what I'm doing."

"Oh dear. Phineas, my dear boy, I don't think I was very clear. The thing is...you were only supposed to wear the robe. As in nothing else but the robe."

"Nothing else? But then when I take the robe off, I would be butt-naked."

"Yeah, that's kind of the point. You're supposed to be naked. See, Phineas, you're a...nude model."

"A nude model? A-As in I pose for the painters while not wearing any clothes?"

"Well, if you want to put it in a negative perspective, then yes."

Phineas slowly started to back away from the man and head for the door, only to be stopped by the tall, muscular security guard that was behind him. He grabbed Phineas by the shoulders to stop him. "Don't be shy, young man. Your elegant physique is exactly why I hired you in the first place." The guard led Phineas to a nearby restroom so he could change. "There's nothing to be scared of. It's just for an hour."

Phineas was reluctant to do so, but after a few words of encouragement form the security guard, he finally surrendered and stripped himself completely naked, and exited the bathroom, presenting himself to his instructor, though keeping his hands covering his privates. "Ah, yes. I knew I saw greatness when I saw it. Now get out there and strut your stuff."

"Uh, OK." Phineas obeyed and walked over to the center of the room, where the now-shocked and rather disgusted students were ready with their brushes and easels.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" One of them shouted, obviously disturbed by the fact that they were going to be painting a naked 10-year old boy. "

"Um, yes I did."

"No, you said "young and misunderstood soul"." A woman piped up. "You said nothing of a young child."

"Oh. Well, what are you going to do, right? Well, nothing more we can do now." But he was more wrong than you could imagine. At that precise moment, a much older worker who who in actuality the other instructor's father, led a group of girls, specifically Fireside Girls Troop 46231, into the room, as they were on a quest to earn their "Art Appreciation" patch. It was then that they all laid their eyes on the naked Phineas.

"Phineas!" Isabella yelled as soon as she laid her eyes on a familiar image. Phineas turned around immediately.

"Isabella! I-I-"

"Excuse me, little girls." The instructor said smugly. "But you are going to have to leave. We are in the middle of a class-"

"Bryan! Where are your manners?" The man shouted, interrupting him. "These girls are here on a very important assignment."

"Yes, earning badges is always important." His son replied sarcastically. "Look, I am in the middle of creating art."

"It looks more like you're humiliating Phineas by exploiting his body." Isabella retorted.

"Bryan, how many times have I told you that you're not supposed to use little kids! If you're going to hire nude models, use adults!"

"Stop trying to censor my work!"

"I'm not trying to censor your work. I'm trying to stop you from traumatizing little kids."

"OK, what the heck is going on here?" Adyson interrupted.

"Yeah, what _is_ going on?" Isabella asked suspiciously, walking up to Phineas. Phineas smiled, for even though he was uncomfortable with letting other people see him naked, he was more than willing to allow Isabella to look at him without clothes on.

"Well, Isabella, the truth is, my mom took me, Ferb, and Candace out shopping and she said we could get anything we wanted. I didn't see anything I wanted, but then I saw this nice, pink dress that I thought you would look absolutely adorable in." Isabella started blushing. "But I was short on cash, so I decided to get a part-time job here at the Art Center. Unfortunately, I misinterpreted the instructor's instructions - apparently - because I wasn't expecting to come in here and pose as a nude model."

"But, Phineas, you are a picture of art. Don't you see? Kids your age are going to be looking up to you for wisdom and bravery. If you can stand up there and reveal yourself to these adults, then every kid would." The instructor tried desperately to get Phineas to return to his position. But by now, Isabella wouldn't have it.

"Hold it, buster." She shouted. "You can say whatever you want about Phineas being the "perfect picture of art", and all of it is probably true. But, that doesn't give you the right to take advantage of his obliviousness and exploit him to these unsuspecting adults and embarrass him. He's just coming off being self-conscious about himself."

"Look, little girl. I don't think you're the one to tell me what I can and can't do."

"No, but _I _can." The older man barked up. "I've warned you to not do this, and you've continuously ignored me. Go outside and wait for me. Your classes are cancelled." He pointed to the door, and the security guard led the man out of the building. "Sorry, guys." He turned to the waiting adults. "Class cancelled." The adults, however, were not upset by the news, as they were not looking forward to having to paint a picture of a naked 10-year old boy. So they all grabbed their easels & brushes, and promptly left the building.

The older man turned to Phineas. "Sorry you had to go through this, kid. Here." He pulled out a $100 bill and handed it to him. "Take this for your troubles."

"Wow. Thanks, mister. This is double what that other guy was going to pay me."

"Yeah, do me a favor. Don't ever mention this to anybody. OK?"

"Sure. I can do that." He turned to Isabella and her Fireside Girls. "Thanks, girls. I guess it was completely coincidental that you guys came here, right?"

"I'll say. Now come on, let's go grab your clothes. Where did you leave them?"

"In the bathroom."

Isabella ran to the bathroom to grab Phineas's clothes, but came back empty-handed. "The bathroom's completely empty. Someone must've stolen your clothes."

"Oh man! I'm gonna have to walk home without any clothes on."

"I brought a towel." Isabella pulled out a towel from her pocket and wrapped it around his waist. "This should at least keep you covered until we get home."

"Thanks, Isabella. You save my butt. Literally."

* * *

Back at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, he and his daughter were still at each other's throats, trying to come up with the best drawing to enter into the contest, and now, Perry was going to be the judge.

"Finished!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, holding up his drawing. He ran over and handed it to Perry. "Here, Perry the Platypus. What do you think?" Perry took the drawing and studied it for a brief moment, noting every single detail, every color, and every meaning. In actuality, it was simply a stick figure waving hello. "Well, what do you think?" He asked again; Perry responded with a thumbs down. "What? You don't like it? But-But it's a work of art."

"Here, Perry. Feast your eyes on a real work of art." Vanessa said, handing her drawing to Perry. But alas, it also received a thumbs down from him. "What? How could you not like it?" He turned it around and revealed it to be a masterful work completely with an assembling of Goths from all around, with looks of despair on their faces as black clouds covered the sky. While the piece of work itself was beautifully drawn, the concept was not one Perry liked. "You obviously don't know art when you see it." She looked out the window and saw that it was nighttime. She sighed, defeated. "It's too late, anyway. The deadline was a half hour ago."

"Vanessa, I'm sorry." Doofenshmirtz turned to his daughter. "I-I didn't mean to get overly competitive with this whole "art" stuff. It's just that...well, I guess I felt a little offended because I thought you thought that I wasn't a good artist."

"Well, Dad, truthfully...you're not. But I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I know how sensitive you are to criticism."

"Aw, that's OK, Vanessa. This whole ordeal was pretty stupid, anyway. I wonder who's going to end up winning that dumb contest anyway. Perry the Platypus, what - Perry the Platypus?" He turned to see that Perry was long gone. Perry himself had entered the contest under an alias, and did not want to be around his nemesis when the contest winner was announced. "Huh. Must've had a prior commitment.

* * *

Nighttime had fallen, and Phineas & Isabella had successfully made it back to his house. After explaining what had happened to the rest of his family, Isabella took Phineas upstairs to his & Ferb's room to get him ready for bed.

"Boy, what a day." Phineas said as Isabella closed the door behind her. "I try to earn a little extra money to buy my girlfriend a nice dress and it totally backfires."

"Yeah, you certainly got into trouble today, Phineas." She responded. "But at least this time around, you were acting like a considerate boyfriend instead of a self-hating psycho who drives himself crazy looking for the perfect gift."

"Yeah, right. Right."

"Something wrong?"

"Of course there's something wrong. I feel...I feel violated. That guy was trying to exploit my body for his students, and not for nothing, but those guys didn't look anything like beginners to me. It's stuff like that that really makes me self-conscious about the way I look."

"But you shouldn't be self-conscious, Phineas."

"I shouldn't?"

"No. Come here." She led him steadily to a mirror up against a wall. "Look into that mirror. What do you see?"

"I see a boy who's naked and really embarrassed that his girlfriend's making him look at himself without clothes on." He answered quickly as he looked down at the ground.

"Do you want to know what I see?" She asked him, he didn't responded. She lifted his chin up and made him look at the mirror. "I see a handsome young boy who is going to grow up to be a very handsome young man. And that guys was right about one thing. You _do_ have a very elegant and beautiful physique."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes. Yes I do." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I've told you that before, and I always mean every word of it." She led him away from the mirror closer to his bed. "You should be proud of your figure. I know I am..." She started giggling lightly as Phineas began to ponder on that thought.

"You know something, Isabella? I-I am. I am proud of my figure, and I'm especially proud of the fact that I get to showcase it to you."

"You are?"

"Yeah." He turned himself to the mirror to take a look at himself again. "You're the only one I would even think about showcasing myself like this to. Ever since that night where we discovered just how deep our feelings are, I realized that the way you express your love for me is also a way of showcasing your respect for me. We're...We're just really mature for our age." He took his hands slowly away from covering his privates and placed them proudly on his hips as he yawned. "I'm proud of the way I look, and I agree with you guys. I am very attractive."

"Yes. Yes you are, Phineas." She agreed as she placed a hand on his butt cheek and squeezed it very hard. But this time around, she was squeezing his butt in a way that was making Phineas very tired.

"Ooh, that feels nice. Wow, I'm suddenly...feeling...really sleepy..." He yawned loudly again, and then, without warning, Phineas tilted his head back slightly, closed his eyes, opened his mouth widely, and started snoring very, very loudly, with his hands still on his hips. Isabella laughed.

"Works every time." She said to herself as she took out her cellphone and snapped several pictures of his snoring face, and of his naked butt. "That guy was right. He _is_ extremely attractive, even when he snores like a wildebeest."

She picked him and placed him right into his bed, on his stomach so his butt faced the ceiling. Then, ever so quietly, she set up the device that prevented noise from leaving **(A/N: See "The Talk")** and then got into bed with him, making herself comfortable by placing her hands on his respective butt cheeks & squeezing them as tightly as she could, kissing him on the (face) cheek, and then resting her head in the middle of his over-stressed, uptight butt. "Goodnight, Phineas." She said quietly to him, but all she got for a response was a couple of loud snores. Regardless, she fell asleep, satisfied.

**End of Episode 48a!**

**A/N: Again, I have to give credit for the concept of this idea to vcawarrior15. Thanks, dude. Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Next Time: When Eliza M. Feyerseid decides to retire as leader of the Fireside Girls, the new owner, who turns out to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz, changes everything for the worse.**

**Expected Update: Check my profile page.**


	59. 48b: Retired at Less Than 100

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 48b: Retired at Less Than 100**

**Episode Summary: ****Eliza M. Feyerseid decides to retire from the Fireside Girls organization, and the person she hires as her replacement, who turns out to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz incognito, changes everything for the worse. Now, it's up to the girls to expose Doofenshmirtz for the fake he is and convince Eliza to come back.**

**A/N: I may be changing the rating of this story to M in the near future, just to be on the safe side. I don't want FanFiction to remove it. I don't think they would, but you never know. Thanks for the tip, DarkSuperShadow64.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined on another day in Danville. Phineas and Isabella were still enjoying their peaceful sleep in the former's bed. Phineas's alarm clock was going off, but because Phineas was still snoring very loudly (and much, much louder than he was during the night), neither of them heard it. Eventually, the alarm clock went off by itself, and it wasn't until 8:30 that Isabella finally awakened.

She rubbed her eyes open and allowed her vision to clear. The first thing she saw was Phineas's naked butt still in her face, a sight she absolutely adored waking up to every morning. She took out her cellphone and snapped several pictures of his naked butt and of his snoring (and now completely covered in sleep drool) face. She chuckled. His mouth was open much more than the previous night, and his face, and his pillow, were totally covered in sleep drool. She crawled up to the pillow, rested her head (albeit in a puddle of his drool) and faced him as she watched him sleep for a few minutes. "Good morning, cutie." She said quietly as she giggled. He initially failed to respond, and simply snored even louder than he was. Then she reached down and squeezed his butt cheek hard. He snorted a few times, loudly, and finally awakened himself. The first thing he saw was Isabella smiling at him.

"Oh, good morning, Isabella." He said cheerfully.

"Good morning, my loud-snoring, big-butted boyfriend." She said playfully, which caused him to start laughing. "What's so funny?"

"You didn't even let me put on a shirt before you put me to sleep last night."

"What can I say? I was in the mood."

"But you know what? It was nice. I-I kinda like sleeping like this. You know, O'Natural. I-It feels nice, and natural, especially with you around."

"I know, Phineas. I know."

"It's like, every time you admire me and you touch my butt, it releases all of my pent-up stress."

"You know, it's funny you say that, 'cause the more I "loosen you up", the tighter your butt muscles become. I don't know if it's unconscious or whether you're doing it on purpose. Either way, I love it. It just makes you that much more enjoyable when you sleep." She leaned in and kissed him gently, wiping some drool from his mouth; then she reached her hand down and tapped his butt several times, as the two shared a laugh. "Well, I'd love to stay and stare at your big, beautiful butt while listening to you snore like a wildebeest for another 8 hours, but I've got a Fireside Girls meeting today. Eliza M. Feyerside said she had a very important announcement to make."

"That's too bad. I was kinda looking forward to spending some more time with you. You know that if I didn't have a super duper project I wanted to do, I would gladly spend the day with you, right?"

"I know you would, Phineas. You're just that kind of guy. But don't worry. After I come home, we can spend as much time together as you want. Besides, my meeting is in an hour, and I would hate to disappoint her by showing up late. It's never wise to disrespect your leader in any way, you know."

* * *

"What do you mean you're retiring?" Isabella shouted in disbelief after she and her fellow Fireside Girls had learned that their beloved founder, Eliza M. Feyerseid, was retiring.

"Now, I know it's not easy for you girls to hear this, but I'm getting too old to do this." Eliza explained. "I'm not getting any younger, and I just thought that it was time to spend the rest of my years my with my family, doing things other than leading a girls scouts troop. But don't get me wrong, girls. I am proud of each and every one of you for coming as far as you have. And I'm sure the new Fireside Girls leader will be just as proud."

"New leader? You mean you already have a replacement?"

"He should be here right about..." There was a knock at the door. But not just any knock: It was the Fireside Girls' secret knock. "now. Come in."

The door swung open, revealing a very optimistic, and in disguise, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Hello, simpletons!" He shouted happily.

"You hired a pharmacist?" Holly objected.

"I'm not a pharmacist! I am Eliza's nephew, Lester. Anywho, I know we are going to have lots of fun as Fireside Girls. And we're gonna start by redecorating this place. Here, I already have a plan sketched out." He took out a blueprint of what he wanted the room to look like and handed it to the girls. They studied it for a moment; then they all looked up at him, and then at Eliza.

"Ms. Feyerseid, are you sure you want to retire?" Adyson asked. "We could really use you now."

"Girls, I know this is hard. But you'll be fine. This man is very committed to keeping the reputation of the Fireside Girls as it is, and I'm certain you'll all get along. As for me, I'm going home to soak myself in a hot tub. Good luck, girls. Oh, and Lester, go easy on them." Eliza made her way to the door and, after waving goodbye to everyone, shut the door behind her. Doofenshmirtz looked at the girls.

"Well, what are you waiting for? This new lodge isn't going to build itself. Get going!" He shouted, though his tone was on the side of enthusiasm, so the girls didn't seem threatened. They all obeyed and instantly started hustling about, getting the supplies that they needed in order to build Doofenshmirtz's new lodge. "Excellent."

* * *

Meanwhile, deep into the ground, Perry was already prepared for his day at work, having already infiltrated his lair and turned on his big screen, ready to receive his mission from Monogram. "Good morning, Agent P. We have a bit of disturbing news. It seems that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has infiltrated the organization of the Fireside Girls Scouts. He's apparently posing as a "long lost relative" of hers named "Lester R. Feyerseid." What kind of a name is "Lester", anyway? Oh, those poor, unsuspecting girls. Who knows what Dr. Doofenshmirtz could do to them?"

"Why do you always assume that he's up to something bad, sir?" Carl asked from off-screen. "Maybe he's reformed. Or at the very least, just not doing anything evil."

"I suppose that's always a possibility. But based on his track-record, chances are he won't make it on the "good" side either. Anyway, I need you, Agent P, to go investigate and make sure that this is totally legitimate, and that it's not just another evil scheme of his. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry saluted him, and then ran out of his lair to his hover car, taking it out from the ground and into the air. Once out of visible sight, he turned on his installed "Nemesis Tracking Device" to look for Dr. Doofenshmirtz. While he did so, he saw that he was passing over Phineas & Ferb, who were in the backyard and currently working on coming up with a project for the day. While Ferb was looking the other way, Phineas noticed Perry up in the air and waved to him. Perry waved back (Remember, Phineas found out that Perry is a secret agent, but Ferb doesn't know).

When Ferb looked up, Perry was nowhere to be seen. "What were you waving at?"

"Oh, just a passing plane." Phineas responded, keeping Perry's secret safe. "Now, where were we?"

Meanwhile, Perry arrived at the Fireside Girls lodge and peered in through the window. Immediately, he could see Isabella and the rest of the Fireside Girls hard at work reconstruction the inside of the lodge. Perry couldn't exactly make out what the inside looked like, but based on how hard the girls were working, Perry had an idea that the final result would be glorious and very flashy-looking.

"Doesn't it look great." Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who had been standing behind him for some time again, asked Perry. Perry turned around and saw him standing there. "I'm going to add a big screen TV, a Playstation 3, and an ice cream maker. It's going to look absolutely gorgeous. And as for you..." He snapped his fingers, and instantly, plant vines popped from the ground and trapped Perry. "you won't get in the way of my latest scheme. But, just to make sure you're completely up to speed, let me fill you in."

"You see, when the news channels started playing a story concerning the rumors that Eliza M. Feyerseid was retiring as leader of the Fireside Girls, I decided to do a little bit of research and I discovered that she has a nephew named Lester R. Feyerseid whom she hasn't spoken to in over 30 years. So then I thought "Well if she hasn't seen of heard from him in all that time, maybe she won't remember what he looks like", and thus, I pretend to be him to gain her trust and take over as Fireside Girls leader. Nobody will ever suspect a thing. As for you, I don't think you'll be any trouble for me." He laughed maniacally as he entered the building, leaving Perry with the task of trying to break out of Doofenshmirtz's trap.

Meanwhile, inside, "You know what, girls? I-I'm just not feeling this anymore." He commented on the interior design he had the girls working on. "This design is just all wrong."

"What?" Isabella shouted, putting down her supplies and storming over to him. "We've been working on this for an hour already and now you're saying you don't like it?"

"Yes. Yes I am. Here." He threw another blueprint at her. "I want you girls to do this design now. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on your progress." He left the lodge and started heading back to his lair, leaving a furious and somewhat confused Isabella to tend to her troop.

"What's up, chief?" Gretchen called from a ladder she was standing on, as she, Ginger, & Katie were putting up some wallpaper.

"He wants us to scrap this whole project and start over." She threw them the blueprint she was giving. They studied it for a moment, then groaned in unison.

"But we've already spent an hour working on his first design. Now he wants us to scrap it and start all over?"

"That's what I said!"

They all groaned against as the girls started to tear the wallpaper down. "Who _is_ that guy, anyway?" Katie asked.

"It's Eliza's nephew, according to her."

"I didn't even know that she had a nephew." Ginger responded.

"Yeah, me neither. Something isn't right, here. Girls, I think it's time for us to do some investigative research."

"But we can't just leave the lodge. What if he notices?"

"You girls stay here so he doesn't suspect anything. I'm gonna run home and do a little bit of research and I'll keep you girls updated."

"Be careful, chief. He could be back any minute."

"If he says anything, tell him I'm in the bathroom." She turned around and bolted for the front door, leaving the other girls there to start decorating the lodge...again.

When she returned home, Isabella went straight to her computer. She typed in "Lester Feyerseid" into her search engine, and instantly, a news page came up on Eliza M. Feyerseid. "OK, what's this all about? Eliza M. Feyerseid is well-known for her position as founder and leader of the Fireside Girls Scouts Organization. Today, she humbly announced her retirement and said that she had chosen a replacement, her long lost nephew "Lester R. Feyerseid". Before today, the two had not spoken in over 30 years. Lester reported that he was last living somewhere in Maui."

Isabella typed something else into her search engine, and soon pulled up a picture of the real Lester R. Feyerseid. She compared the real picture with the one that was taken earlier that day of Eliza & Doofenshmirtz. "Wait a minute." She gasped. "I knew it! I knew there was something fishy with that guy! Time to expose the faker for what he really is."

Isabella looked up Lester's real number in the phone book and started dialing in up. "Hello, may I please speak to Lester R. Feyerside?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas & Ferb were in the middle of finishing up their day's project, which was a super-charged pogo-stick that allowed the user to jump higher than regular pogo-sticks would allow. Phineas and Ferb were taking turns practicing with their newest toy, with the latter having just finished up his turn. "Nice altitude, Ferb." Phineas said optimistically. "My turn." Ferb handed him the pogo-stick, and without wasting any time, Phineas jumped up, and was sent shooting right up into the air. A few moments passed of no activity before Phineas came crashing down to the ground, screaming joyously.

"I think you clear the moon with that one." Ferb said.

"I did. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for us." He put the pogo-stick down and looked across the street, and just happened to catch a glimpse of Isabella, with several papers in her hand. "Hey, there's Isabella." He and Ferb ran across the street to see her. "Hey, Isabella!" He shouted. Isabella looked up and a smile quickly came across her face.

"Hi, Phineas!" She shouted back as he ran up to her and hugged her immediately. "You're so cute when you hug me!"

"How was your Fireside Girls meeting?"

"Horrible. Eliza M. Feyerseid, the founder of the Fireside Girls, is retiring."

"What? Oh, man. That's horrible."

"It gets even worse. The guy she hired to replace her, who she claims is her "long lost nephew", took over. And he's awful! He's making us redecorating the entire interior of the lodge and it looks just sad. The guy really has no creative tastes."

"You just gotta get used to him, that's all. I know it's hard to see someone you've grown close to leave, but sometimes, that happens. I mean, it'll never happen with us, but-"

"It's not just that. I sneaked out and came home to do some research, and look at what I found." She handed Phineas & Ferb her papers. One paper had a picture of the "nephew" the girls met at the lodge, and below it was a picture of the real "nephew". "This one is the one we met today...and this is the real Lester R. Feyerseid. That guy we met is a total fake!"

"But if _he's_ not Eliza's real nephew, then why would he want to try and sneak his way into the organization?"

"I have no idea. But, I did manage to find some other things out about Eliza and Lester. Turns out, they haven't spoken to each other in over 30 years. Apparently, they got into this huge argument and ever since then, they've been on non-speaking terms. In fact, they haven't even come face to face with each other since then."

"Who keeps a grudge for that long?"

"Apparently, they do." Ferb responded.

"Well, I think I know what we have to do. We have to find this "Lester" guy, convince him to come back, and then expose that faker for who he is...whoever he is. But where are we supposed to even start? We have no idea where this guy even is at this moment."

"Actually, he works at the local gas station." Isabella interrupted. "Same place he's been working at for the past 10 years."

"Oh. Well, that works, I suppose. Wait a minute!" Phineas came to a realization. "He's been living in the Tri-State Area for the past 10 years and he didn't even think to go looking for his aunt? They were so close to each other! I guess their grudge must be stronger than we can comprehend. Oh well. Let's go guys. We've got a family to reunite, and a girls scouts troop to save."

So Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella took off for the town, hoping to find the real Lester Feyerseid and expose Dr. Doofenshmirtz for the fraud he really was.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry, using blades installed in his fedora, cut through the vines trapping him, and quickly released himself. Then, as if on cue, Dr. Doofenshmirtz returned to the scene, in an effort to check on the girls and their progress, and saw that Perry had escaped.

"Perry the Platypus!" He shouted. "You've escaped. Oh well, no matter. You are still no match for me. And besides, I have the upper hand, here. You can't reveal your secret to those girls, or else you'd have to be relocated! Am I correct, Perry the Platypus?" Perry looked in the window and saw the girls working hard. Their backs were turned so they couldn't see him in his secret agent persona. His prolonged silence was enough answer for Doofenshmirtz. "Yes, I am right, aren't I?"

Perry looked Doofenshmirtz dead on and locked in on him. In an instant, and without any warning at all, Perry charged at Doofenshmirtz and tackled him to the ground. He got in a few quick and light punches before the evil genius shoved Perry off of him and smacked him to the ground. Their battle commenced from there and there seemed to be no end in sight.

They exchanged punches back and forth, with neither of them giving an inch over the other. Perry was determined to do everything in his power to keep Dr. Doofenshmirtz from ruining the Fireside Girls' name any further, so his only hope was some miracle would come along and Dr. Doofenshmirtz would be exposed for the fraud he was. Coincidentally, that was exactly what Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were doing.

* * *

"No!"

And they succeeded in finding the real Lester Feyerseid. He did indeed work at a gas station in town and has been doing so for over 10 years. He was a tall, skinny, redneck-like man who wore a red-stripped buttoned shirt with jeans that were ripped at the knees. At first, he appeared to be extremely understanding and willing to listen to the kids and their problem.

However, once the three kids found him and explained to him what was going on, realizing that they were referring to her aunt Eliza, he immediately shunned them and refused to listen any further.

"But...But you have to come back and help her!" Phineas pleaded.

"Yeah. The Fireside Girls Organization is going down the drain ever since this impostor took over."

"I don't care if he's posing as Vanessa Williams! I don't ever want to speak to that-that...that woman again!"

"Why? What could you have possibly fought about that would cause you two to hate each other for 30 years?"

Lester sighed, then knelled down to face them eye-to-eye. "Oh, she's not mad at me. I'm more me at her, actually. See, my 16th birthday was coming up, and right around that time, I was having this desire to become a cowboy, and I asked my aunt to throw me an old western party. You know, a "Shindig". But instead, all I got was a stupid pool party. I was so mad and then I got into an argument with her. She thought she had done a good thing, and told me that "Shindigs" are for cowboys. So's then I says to her "But I _want_ to be a cowboy!" But she insisted I was just going through a "phase". After my family moved out of town, I refused to stay in contact with her, and to this day, I won't even go and visit her, not even on her birthdays. All because I wanted a western party!"

"But if you want to be a cowboy so badly, why are you working at a gas station?" Ferb asked.

"OH, this? Well, I still need to raise money in order to buy my first horse."

"You've had a dream of being a cowboy for 30 years and yet you haven't done anything about it?" Phineas questioned, visibly disappointed with this revelation. "Man, that is weak."

"You calling me a wuss?"

"No, I'm just saying you're wasting your time with your cowboy dreams if you're not going to do anything to achieve them. Look, your aunt Eliza really needs your help with the Fireside Girls. Even if you are still mad at her, she's family, and you don't turn your back on family." Phineas wrapped one arm around Ferb's shoulder and the other around Isabella's. Lester took a long moment to think about it. He sighed, knowing that he was right.

"You're right. I may not be on good terms with aunt Eliza right now, but darn it! She's family! And besides, I don't want anybody to tarnish my good name! I've gotta go help her! Take me to her, lads."

"Right away, whoever you are!" Phineas joked, as he, Ferb, and Isabella headed back out of town towards the Fireside Girls lodge.

* * *

As for Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz, their little bout was drawing to a close. Perry, quickly spotting that Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and the real Lester heading their way, pushed Doofenshmirtz back a few feet, activated his jet pack, and then bolted for a retreat. "Ha! That's right, Perry the Platypus! Run! Run away, you wuss!" Luckily for Perry, the kids didn't see him fly away on his jet pack, nor did Lester.

"Hey, you!" Isabella yelled, getting Doofenshmirtz's attention. He turned around and saw the troop leader, her friends, and Lester standing there.

"What are _you_ doing out here?" He asked her smugly. "And out of uniform? For shame! You should be inside redecorating the lodge. Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah, a guy who's tryin' an' failin' miserably to pose as me!" Lester shouted, stepping forward. "Me! The _real_ Lester Feyerseid!"

"Real?" Doofenshmirtz laughed, though it was a fake laugh, as he knew that his arouse was nearly over. "No, I think you're mistaken. There is only one Lester R Feyerseid."

"And that's _me_!"

"Oh yeah? Then why don't you prove it?"

"Lester!" Came a voice from behind Doofenshmirtz. Everyone turned around and saw Eliza Feyerseid standing there, with a smile across her face.

"Auntie Eliza!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, still pretending that he was Lester. However, this time around, when Doofenshmirtz put his arms out for a hug, Eliza did not go for him. She went for Lester. "Wha...?"

"Lester, is it really you?"

"Aunt Eliza, you haven't changed a bit." Lester responded happily, though with a hint of resentment.

"But...Aunt Eliza, how could you...how could you be so _stupid?_" Doofenshmirtz hissed; Eliza and Lester pulled from their hug and looked back at him. "How could you mistaken this loser for your own nephew. Honestly, I knew you were old and useless, but I didn't think you were _that_ dumb." Those derogatory comments angered Eliza, as she stepped forward to eye Doofenshmirtz.

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"No. I called you old, useless, _and_ stupid. Get your ears check, wrinkles!"

"Hey! Nobody disrespects my Aunt Eliza and gets away with it." Lester stepped in front of Eliza and pounded his fist into his open hand, signaling his readiness to get into a fist fight with Doofenshmirtz.

"Oh no. This is going to hurt." Doofenshmirtz closed his eyes and prepared for a beat down. Luckily for him, Lester wasn't a violent guy, so all he got was a slap in the face. But, that was enough to make Doofenshmirtz's cry. "Hey, that really hurt!" He turned around, abandoned his "western" getup, and ran back to his evil lair. Lester appeared surprised, but shrugged and turned back his family. It was at this time that the other girls, who were still inside the lodge, came rushing out, having seen what had just happened.

"Hey, what's going on?" Adyson asked.

"Girls, I apologize for this, but it seems like the man I had supposedly hired to take over as leader, whom I thought was my own nephew was, instead, an impostor." The girls all gasped. "Yes. But, you'll be happy to know that, with the help of your troop leader, and these two wonderful boys, we've found my real nephew. Girls, meet Lester R. Feyerseid, my real nephew."

"Is he going to be taking over for you? Are you still retiring?"

"Now, wait a minute. Hold on!" Lester shouted, turning to Eliza. "I never agreed to that."

"Oh, don't be silly. It'll be fun."

"You know what? No. No! I refuse!" He crossed his arms.

"Oh, come on. Stop being such a fuddy-duddy." He went to pinch his cheek, like he was a little boy, but Lester fiercely pulled away.

"See, this is what I mean! You're treating me like a little kid, and you're making my decisions for me. I don't want to be the leader of some stupid Girls Scout troop! No offense."

"But when you were younger, you loved being a boys scout."

"That was then. But I got tired of it, and I said I wanted to be a cowboy. But, the truth is, I only said that to spite you. I don't really want to be a cowboy. I don't even like horses. Heck, I hate 'em."

"Then, what do you want to be?" Isabella asked as Lester took a deep breath.

"I want to be..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a baseball bat. "A golfer!" For years, he had been confusing the sports Baseball and Golf with each other.

"Well, Lester, I was never really a fan of sports myself. But...if that's what you really want to do, I'll support you 100%." Eliza said calmly after a moment of silence. Upon hearing this, Lester smiled, and the two shared a long hung. Everyone around them, with the exception of Ferb, aww'd.

"Wait, so does that mean you're staying?" Melissa asked Eliza.

"Well, for now, I am. I would like to retire soon, though, but until I find a replacement, I'm more than willing to stay as leader of the Fireside Girls." All of the girls, plus Isabella & Phineas, cheered. Ferb, however, didn't appear quite as amused.

"I'm sorry, but am I the only one that's irritated with the fact that he's not even holding the proper sports tool?" Ferb asked, visibly irritated having to deal with a man of "much lower intelligence". As Ferb pondered on this, a small chattering sound was heard. Phineas looked down and saw Perry there.

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 48b!**

**A/N: Not my best work, I know. But, I'm posting it in celebration of the 2011 KCA's. So, enjoy!**

**Next Time: When Phineas & Ferb's old "molecular splitter" turns up again, it causes havoc for the kids on Maple Drive when it activates and hits Phineas. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz gets into some trouble when the molecular splitter rays goes haywire and hits his "pet", Ezekiel. (I haven't decided whether it's going to be one of my shorter episodes or one of my longer episodes)**

**Expected Update: Check my profile page for information.**


	60. 49: Two For One

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 49: Two-For-One**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb's old "molecular separator" device turns up again, and it causes havoc for the kids in Maple Drive when it accidentally hits Phineas and splits him into two Phineas's: one that wants to work on projects all day with Ferb, and one that wants to relax all day with Isabella. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz has his own problems to deal with when the separator goes haywire and hits his "pet", Ezekiel, turning him into two personalities: a cute, cuddly animal, and a carnivorous, reckless beast. All that while Dr. Doofenshmirtz's rent is due.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another summer day had arrived in Danville, and Phineas & Ferb were already awake and ready to tackle the day ahead of them. They decided, however, to start by going through their old sketchbooks and recollect on their past adventures. With only a few weeks of summer vacation remaining before the boys had to go back to school, they wanted to look back at all the great times they had, and gear up for what they called "The Homestretch", the final few weeks of their summer.

"Oh, hey, remember this?" Phineas pointed to another picture in their "Summer Vacation Scrapbook". The picture depicted Phineas and Ferb with their all-terrain vehicle. **(The Secret of Success) **"It's our All-Terrain Vehicle. Too bad it didn't work on the moon, though." (Remember, the episode ended just as the kids were heading up to the moon)

"So technically, it's not an "All-Terrain" Vehicle." Ferb remarked.

"Yeah." Phineas turned the page, coming across a picture of their old "molecular separator" from the previous summer. "Hey, look. It's our old molecular separator. That was one of the few inventions we actually used twice. The first time we used it, it didn't disappear, and the second time it got destroyed." He let out a chuckle. "Wouldn't it be funny if we actually built it a third time? That would be quite redundant. Don't you think?"

"You know, out in the garage, I saw a box with a small, light blue camera in it, and I couldn't tell, but..."

"You don't think? But how?"

"Nature works in mysterious way."

"Let's check it out." They closed the book and ran towards the house. Once they gained access to the garage, Ferb led Phineas to the box where he allegedly saw the molecular separator. He opened the box and right on top of the pile of junk lied a light blue camera which bared a striking resemblance to their old molecular separator device. "Whoa. You're right, Ferb. It does look a lot like our separator. But, it could be just a regular old throw-away camera. I guess there's only one way to find out."

Phineas reached into the box and took the camera. Then he and Ferb returned to the backyard to test out their newest "toy". "OK, if this thing is really our old molecular separator ray, then it should be able to split the object that we point it at into its original components. Now, what can we use this thing on...?" Phineas took a good look around for something to use their "molecular separator" on. "Hey, why don't we use it on our old bikes?" Phineas ran back to the garage to get his bike, then came back with it and the separator in his hands. "Let's see if it works." Phineas pressed a button on the camera, and a light blue, fizzy ray shot out of the lens, hitting the bike. Almost instantly, the bike was completely separated into its original components, a handlebar, the wheels, and all of the other parts that make up a bike.

"It works." Ferb remarked. "But, there goes a perfectly good, working bike."

"Not necessarily, my quiet stepbrother." Phineas pressed another button, shot another blast at the bike, and almost as quickly as it was separated, it was put back together. "See? I remember that we put a reverse button on the separator."

"That would've been nice to know when we accidentally used this on Candace."

"Yeah. Well, we know now that it works on ordinary objects. But does it still work on people? Here, try it on me." He handed Ferb the camera and took a couple of steps back. Ferb carefully aimed the camera at Phineas. "OK, Ferb. Let 'er rip!" He shouted, fully prepared to take the blast from the separator. Ferb pressed the button, and a light blue blast spurted out of the lens, hitting Phineas. The resulting him surrounded him in an aura of the same color for a short time, before disappearing. After the light disappeared, there was no initial difference. Phineas looked around to see if there was another Phineas standing around. But, he could not spot one. "Huh, it didn't work."

"Perhaps it working on Candace was an accident."

"Maybe. Oh well, we might as well get started with another project. Let's take our separator with us, just in case. Who knows what could happen if it were to fall into the wrong hands?" Phineas and Ferb started walking towards the backyard, where all of their equipment sat. Their next idea was already in mind, and nothing was going to stop them from having the best day ever.

Little did they know, however, that their molecular separator ray actually did work on Phineas. What Phineas and Ferb failed to see before they left was a second Phineas standing right behind the original Phineas. However, this Phineas was different. The blast that hit him in the first place split him into his two most dominant personalities: one that wants to work on projects with Ferb all day, and one that wants to relax and spend time with Isabella all day.

This Phineas (whom I will be labeling for now "Relaxed Phineas" for the sake of it) ran straight across the street, grabbed some flowers from the front yard garden, and knocked on the front door. Vivian, Isabella' mom, did not hesitate to answer. "Hello, Phineas. What can I do for you?"

"Is Isabella here?" Relaxed Phineas asked sincerely, with a warm smile across his face. He appeared physically more relaxed than he normally did.

"Of course. Let me get her for you." She turned her head into the house and called for Isabella. "Isa!"

"_Yeah, Mom!"_

"Phineas is here! And he's got flowers!" Vivian waited for a response. But, Isabella was already on her way from her room to the front door. She popped her head out and giggled as soon as she saw Phineas standing there. "Hi, Phineas!" He rushed in and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. She appeared surprised, though did not object. "What brings you here? I thought you would be busy with Ferb on another one of your projects by now?"

"Who cares about silly old projects when I can spend all of my time with my little flower of sunshine!" He spoke in a giddy, almost love-obsessed tone.

"Um, does that mean you wanna spend the day with me?"

"Of course!"

She gasped in delight. "That's great!" She laughed heartily as they continued to share their hug. During the hug, though, Isabella contemplated what she heard Phineas say just then, as to her, it did not sound like something he would normally say. "Um, but are you sure you don't want to do something with Ferb, first? You know that I wouldn't mind."

"Nonsense. You're more important than stupid old projects out of a sketchbook. I'm going to give you the royal treatment today." He said jokingly as he pulled away from the hug. "Here. Flowers for you."

"Aw, they're beautiful." She responded, taking the flowers from him. "Thank you." She gave him a warm, sweet kiss on his forehead, and giggled again. "So, what exactly do you want to do? Because I was kinda feeling a little down today."

"Oh no. Is my itty, bitty sweetie pie getting sick?" He playfully asked in a baby voice.

"No. I was just feeling a little tired today. I didn't get much sleep last night. I could not get comfortable for the life of me. My mattress seems all lumpy."

"I could fix that for you, my love."

"Really?"

"Sure. Then I'll tuck you in so you can catch up on your sleep. And maybe a little bedtime story to go with it?"

"A bedtime story? What are you? Three?" The two of them laughed for a short time as he kissed her gently on the cheek, then grabbed her hand & led her upstairs to her lumpy mattress.

* * *

Meanwhile, the other Phineas was busy working with Ferb on their project, which, today, was a sugar-filter that was able to filter the sugar out of sugary drinks while also allowing them to retain their fizz. The project was easy to build, and barely took any time at all. Once it was built, they got right to testing it. The boy (whom I will be labeling as "Project Phineas" just for the heck of it) picked up the drink and sipped it. Smacking his lips twice, he smiled. "Yep. No sugar, yet still so very tangy. Well, this project was a success."

"And with still so much time left in the day." Ferb remarked.

"Yeah. Now we can get started on another project." Phineas took out their sketchbook, laid it down on the ground and opened it, searching for another fresh, new idea that he and Ferb could pull off. "Let's see..." He searched for a moment or so before looking up at his stepbrother, who gave him a questioning glare. "What?"

"You're never inclined to do more than one project per day."

"What are you talking about? I love doing projects." Project Phineas's temper was slowly increasing. He straightened his body, stared straight at him, and planted his hands on his hips in a sort of uptight manner. "Now, would you please stop standing there and help me pick out another project?" Just as Phineas was about to get back to picking out a project, their friends, Buford, Baljeet, and Irving showed up.

"What up, nerdlings?" Buford spatted out, to Ferb's amusement and Project Phineas's chargin.

Phineas sighed in exasperation. "Finally. Some help." He picked up the sketchbook, turned to a random page, and then handed the book to Baljeet. "Here. Make yourselves useful and start getting us some supplies. We're going to build a giant cannon and shoot ourselves across the Tri-State Area."

The friends studied the blueprints for a brief moment, then looked up at Project Phineas, whose facial expression spoke one of impatience. "Why you lookin' at us like that?"

"Because you're just standing there and not helping us with our project. Come on. We've got work to do."

"Haven't you already completed a project?" Baljeet asked, pointing on the machine already on the ground.

"Yes, but now I want to do another one. Now come on. We need those supplies, stat!" He began to raise his voice as the friends all quickly ran off in search of the supplies.

"Dilweed's acting weird, today." Buford commented.

"Yeah, he's certainly not himself." Irving agreed. "He's all stressed-out and...it's almost like he's obsessed with those projects."

"Was he not before? Is that not the reason Isabella ran away in the first place?" Baljeet asked.

"Shush! Don't say that in front of him. He's extremely sensitive about it. The last time something like that came up, he completely broke down in tears. It was like handling a baby, for crying out loud."

The friends all went in different directions to get the supplies Phineas & Ferb needed for their project. Though they made great time, by others' standards, in getting the supplies, Project Phineas was impatient, and he let the others know it. "What took you guys so long?" He barked; his hands were still on his hips and he was tapping his foot impatiently.

"Chillax, bro. We got the stuff." Buford remarked.

"Yep. Everything you need is right here." Irving added.

"Great." Project Phineas responded sarcastically. "But that's 7 minutes down the drain that I'm never going to get back."

"What is your deal, man? You're acting all bossy and irritable..." Irving went on. "This isn't you."

"Yes, I agree." Ferb jumped in, noticing Phineas's change in behavior. Of course, by this time, he was still completely unaware that their molecular separator had actually worked and that the Phineas he was hanging out with was one who was obsessed with working on projects with him. "You're certainly not one to become obsessed with projects such as ours, especially now that you have a relationship with the girl across the street."

"Hey, if you guys don't wanna do these projects with me, that's fine. I'm not forcing you to stay." Project Phineas hastily took the supplies from his friends. "I have something that I want to do, and you're more than welcome to join me. But you're also more than welcome not to join me."

"Jeez, dude. No need to get so angry." Irving said, rather annoyed with his friend's attitude, also unaware of the situation. "You better not act that way in front of Isabella."

"Isabella! Of course. I knew somebody was missing. I better go and get her." He put the supplies down and marched across the street, and knocked fiercely on the front door. Vivian opened it, and gasped when she saw Project Phineas standing there, because she had already seen the other Phineas. "Phineas? But...But I thought you were upstairs with Isa."

"Don't be ridiculous, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro. How could I possibly be in two places at once?" He brushed past her and up the stairs to Isabella's room. Meanwhile, inside Isabella's room, Relaxed Phineas had fixed up her mattress for her and tucked her in so he could tell her a bedtime story.

"And then, Princess Isabella said "My beloved prince has returned." in her always adorable southern belle accent." He said as she giggled. Listening to who she thought was her beloved tell her an adorable bedtime story when it was still daylight out made her heart tingle with enlightenment. "And then Prince Phineas, in his always bold and fearless voice, said..."

"Open this door!" Project Phineas shouted, knocking hard on the door again.

Isabella sat up quickly. "P-Phineas?" Relaxed Phineas turned to the door. "W-What's going on?"

"I don't know." Relaxed Phineas answered honestly. "I'll go check it out." He stood up from the bed and opened the bedroom door. As soon as both Project Phineas and Relaxed Phineas laid eyes on each other, they both gasped. Isabella got out of bed and did the same. "What the heck...?"

"I'm seeing double." Remarked Isabella. "But...But which one is the real Phineas?"

"Enough small talk, Isabella." Project Phineas remarked bitterly. "I've got a super cool project I want to work on, and I need your help." He proceeded to grab Isabella's wrist and pull her as he walked towards the front door.

"Hey, back off, pal!" Relaxed Phineas shouted, taking Isabella's other wrist. "That's no way to treat my future wife!" Isabella giggled and blushed when she heard him call her his "future wife". "You can't just barge in and act all rude and uptight like you run her, and expect her to just participate in projects with you. It's like you're... obsessed with them..." It was then that Relaxed Phineas came to a realization. "Wait a minute. You don't think...?"

"But it has to be." Project Phineas responded, knowing exactly what the other Phineas was talking about.

"What are you guys talking about?" Isabella asked.

"We'll explain on the way. Come on." Relaxed Phineas took Isabella's hand gently and led her down the stairs out the front door, with Project Phineas following close behind. Once they got back to the front yard of Phineas's house, they proceeded to explain to them and to Ferb exactly what they thought had happened. "And so in a miraculous and unexplainable turn of events, I somehow got split into two alternate personalities: one that likes to relax and hang out with Isabella all day..."

"And one that likes to work on projects all day." Project Phineas finished.

"So the molecular separator _did_ work." Ferb remarked.

"I guess so."

"So that explains why our Phineas had such an attitude earlier. He was obsessed with doing projects and stuff." Irving remarked.

"And that also explains why _my_ Phineas was so sweet and devoted. He's obsessed with me." Isabella said, as Relaxed Phineas couldn't resist going up to her and hugging her. She laughed and blushed madly. "Oh, Phineas. You're so sweet."

"Well we can't exactly have two dinner bells in the world, can we?" Buford asked. "That would throw the entire universe out of whack."

"Then I believe our objective is clear." Baljeet piped up. "We must bring the two Phineas personalities back together and turn them back into one Phineas. To do so, we must create a device so sophisticated and so logic-defying that it would have no choice but to work!"

"Or..." Project Phineas interrupted, clearly irritated with his answer. "We could simply put our molecular separator in reverse. Honestly, good help is so hard to find these days." He shook his head and, to show his irritability to Baljeet, put his hands firmly on his hips, which immediately turned Isabella on.

"Ooh, looks like somebody is getting a little feisty." Isabella swooned. Although she adored Phineas for the kindred, relaxed spirit he was on the inside, she also adored those rare occasions where Phineas would get irritable and grumpy, as his rare, uptight structure was something she found extremely attractive.

"Hey, I'm the one obsessed with you, not him!" Relaxed Phineas pointed out.

"I know, don't remind me."

"Then why are you going all googly-eyed on him?"

"It's very simple, actually." She giggled again. "See, _you_..." She was referring to Relaxed Phineas. "represent the emotional attraction that I feel for you. You're so sweet, gentle, and cute as a button. I just wanna hug you and kiss you as much as I can and make you smile, because I absolutely love your adorable little laugh and I love the way you can just make people laugh by just being yourself; _he_, on the other hand..." Referring to Project Phineas. "represent the physical attraction I feel for you. I mean, whenever you break out into spontaneous dance routines, and I get a good look at your huge, shaking butt, I want to go up to you and squeeze it as hard as I can. And then there are those rare times when I accidentally see your butt completely naked. Hoo-whee! What a sight! I could stare at it for hours. And on top of that, it's a perfect sleeping pillow. I could sleep on it for hours, listening to you snore, and not even an Earthquake would wake me up. It has amazing definition, and it's extremely toned, probably from bossing people around so much. You know, I've never told anybody this, but secretly, I go crazy with love when I see Phineas act all uptight and boss people around."

"Huh. That makes sense." Relaxed Phineas agreed.

"No it doesn't!" Irving argued,clearly not understanding Isabella's theory. "They look exactly the same!"

"To you, they do. But not to a girl who's been madly in love with him for years."

"Can we move on from this please?" Buford asked. "This is starting to get a little creepy for me."

"Good idea." Relaxed Phineas agreed.

"So how can we get you two back together?" Isabella asked.

"Simple. We throw our molecular separator in reverse. My other personality and I will combine back into one Phineas, solving all of our problems."

"Do you still have the separator with you, Ferb?" Project Phineas asked Ferb, who quickly took the device out from his pocket and held it up. "Great. Just aim it at us and fire."

Ferb proceeded to do so. But, in a surprising and rather clich é turn of events, a bird swooped in and grabbed the device right out of Ferb's hands. "Hey, give that back!" Isabella yelled at the bird, which started an entire barrage of yelling coming from the kids, desperately trying to get the attention of the bird so they could get the device back. But as they ran after him, there was no hope of getting the bird by themselves. While the kids were wallowing in their failed attempt to get the device back, they failed to notice Ferb take out what appeared to be a small pebble, while in reality it was a GPS tracking device, and throw it at the bird, causing it to land on the molecular separator.

"Oh man, he's gone!" Irving shouted.

"But not forgotten." Ferb replied as he took out a GPS tracking remote. "While you all vented, I threw a tracking device the size of a grain of salt at the molecular separator."

"Hey, I remember that." Relaxed Phineas said, suddenly remembering the tiny tracking device he and his stepbrother had designed together. "We designed it so we would be able to find Perry every time he wandered off. But for some reason, we never got around to it." Granted, even if they had installed the tracking device on Perry, now it wouldn't mean much to Phineas, as he had learned some time ago that his pet platypus was living a double life as a secret agent. He was the only one, however, to know about this secret. "Never thought we would see that thing again."

"Now, all we have to do is follow the tracking device and find out little-"

"Uh-oh." Ferb interrupted, noticing a disturbance in the pattern of his tracking device. "It appears we have problems."

"What's the matter?"

"According to this device, our little feather-friend has apparently dropped our device." All of the friends gasped in fear, worried that the device would be broken and that they would have to build the device all over again in order to combine the two Phineas personalities together again.

"No need to worry, guys." Project Phineas said. "When Ferb and I built the molecular separator in the first place, we made it extremely durable. It would take a dozen sledgehammers banging on it simultaneously for it to break."

"Then that means all we have to worry about is finding it." Irving piped up.

"Exactly. What's the worse thing that could happen?"

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, evil scientist, was busy trying to come up with a new evil scheme, expecting a visit from his nemesis, Perry, at any moment. His robot assistant, Norm, was off to the side, having a mandatory CPU upgrade being done, and his pet, Ezekiel was locked up in his cage, desperately wanting to get out and run around.

"Alright, alright, Ezekiel. Hush! I'll let you out of your cage just as soon as I'm done coming up with a new evil scheme." He said patiently to his pet.

"You should be out of there in two, three days tops." Norm remarked in his usual sarcastic tone.

"Quiet, you! I'm almost done, for your information." He held up a small ray gun. "Behold...the Candy-inator! With this device, I can turn anything and everything I want into sweet, sugar-filled, delicious candy! All I have to do is aim & pull the trigger, and ZAP! Whatever I zap turns into candy. I will use this to turn the entire Tri-State Area into a sugary treat. Once I do, the kids will lose all self-control, and devour on as much candy as they possibly can. As a direct result of this, the children will all end up with horrible, painful cavities, and most likely, the dental bills will be so high that everyone will be broke! And then, I...well, I haven't yet figured out how I'm going to steal that money. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

He stood up and aimed the ray gun at a nearby desk lamp to test out his newest invention, when in a flash, a blue, somwhat transparent ray blasted through the wall and hit Ezekiel dead-on. The light temporarily blinded Doofenshmirtz & Norm, and when the light did fade, Ezekiel was still there, except now, there were two of him, both standing side-to-side. One Ezekiel had the personality of a wild, carnivorous beast, and the other Ezekiel had the personality of a cute, cuddly puppy who had just been adopted by a loving family.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Doofenshmirtz asked, as he put his new device down and edged towards the cage. "No, they do no! It's true! I know how two pets! Finally, I have two vicious, unstoppable beasts that can aide me in my quest for Tri-State domination-"

Before Doofenshmirtz could go any further, he was interrupted by the sound of faint barking. He stopped and looked at the two Ezekiels, and not a moment later, one of them barked again, and then started panting like a real dog, while the other one scratched himself fiercely and growled.

"Huh. This is...strange. I have two Ezekiels, but only one ferocious beast. The other one acts like a puppy. How embarrassing." He walked to the cage. "I guess I have no choice but to give you back to the-" Doofenshmirtz was about to say "pound", but he took one good look at him, and the way that Pet Ezekiel let his tongue hang out, and he panted like any other puppy would made Doofenshmirtz's heart melt on the inside. "Oh, you are so cute!" He opened the cage slowly and picked up Pet Ezekiel, cradling him in his arms. "Just like a little puppy. I've always wanted a little puppy, but mother and father would never let me have one. Oh, but they let Roger have three. What's up with that?"

Pet Ezekiel, sensing distress from Doofenshmirtz, proceeded to lick him, as any other dog would. "Oh, you are just the sweetest thing ever."

Suddenly, Beast Ezekiel's primal instincts kicked in, and he charged out of the cage, growling, and tackling them both to the ground. "Ow! That hurt!" Doofenshmirtz yelled. "What is your problem?" Beast Ezekiel jumped off of him and started running rambunctiousness around the lair. Doofenshmirtz stood up and put Pet Ezekiel down. "Hmm...this is peculiar. Whatever happened appears to have caused my new guard dog to be split into two, one with the personality of a lovable puppy, and one with the personality of a carnivorous beast. Interesting. But what exactly am I supposed to do with two of you?"

Before he could contemplate any further, his phone rang. He walked over and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hello Mr. Swindler. Yes, what can I - oh, is that today? No, no, I haven't forgotten. Yes, Yes of course. Wait, you're coming over? Alright, alright. I'll have it ready for you." He abruptly hung up the phone. "Drat! I completely forgot!"

"What's the matter, sir?" Norm asked.

"My rent is due today. If I don't pay on time, my tenant, Mr. Swindler, won't renew the lease on this apartment."

"Didn't you receive your alimony check yesterday, sir?"

"Yes. Yes I did. But that's not the problem. He has a strict "No-pet" policy for the apartment. It's hard enough having one Ezekiel, but if he discovers that I have two, he'll surely kick me out. He'll be here in an hour to collect his rent. I have to get this place ship-shape by then." He turned to face his lair and saw Beast Ezekiel running wild around the lair, and Pet Ezekiel cozying up on his leg. "This is going to be a problem."

* * *

Meanwhile, the kids were out and about in town, searching feverishly for the molecular separator. "We're closing in." Project Phineas shouted as they all ran up the street, and soon enough, the device was in sight, on the ground, facing upward. "Hey, I see it!" Phineas bolted for the device, only to be stopped by an older looking man who picked up the device before he could get to it.

"Oh, lookie. A little camera." He spoke, with a sort of stuck-up, childish voice. "This'll be perfect for my photography project."

"Um, excuse me, sir..." Relaxed Phineas stepped up and said. "That's our camera. May we please have it back?"

"I don't see your name on it." He responded smugly.

"I don't see _yours_." Project Phineas stepped in with an equally smug response. The man was so ignorant and arrogant that he failed to even notice that there were two Phineas's standing in front of him. Instead, he quickly took out a Sharpie marker and started scribbling his name onto it, then showed it to the kids.

"Now it is."

"You just wrote that on."

"So what? It's my camera and there's nothing you can do about it." Wrong. Project Phineas dove in quickly and tried to grab the camera from him, pulling it with all of his might.

"It's not your camera!" He grunted as he and the man went into a struggle for possession over the camera.

"Yes it is! Finders keepers!" The man pulled with force towards him.

"Let go! Please!"

"OK." The man responded smugly as he abruptly let go of the camera. As a result, Project Phineas's arms flung behind him and his grip on the device was released. The result: the device hit the ground hard, but did not break. The man decided to turn around a bolt in search of a camera.

"Man, what a jerk." Project Phineas uttered. "Well, at least nothing happened to the molecular separator ray." He walked over to it and picked it up, in an attempt to get it working to bring him and Relaxed Phineas back together. "Hang on. Nothing's happening." He pressed a button several times, but nothing came of it. "I don't understand. This is supposed to be indestructible." He flipped it over and opened the back, studying the batteries carefully and noticing something odd about them. "No wonder it's not working. The batteries are dead."

"But we just changed them this morning." Ferb said.

"Apparently, we didn't really take into account the batteries' life span for this device. We're gonna have to get some new batteries. Two AAA batteries should do it." Suddenly, Project Phineas's cellphone started ringing. "Uh oh. It looks like I'm getting a news update." He opened up his cellphone to reveal a breaking news bulletin."

_"This just in...a shortage of AAA batteries has been announced. People are advised to not use AAA batteries if possible. The shortage is only expected to last a few hours since, for some strange reason, delivery trucks carrying AAA batteries have been stopped by Mayor Doofenshmirtz for a surprise inspection, whatever that means."_

He groaned and put his cellphone away. "You have to be kidding me."

"Oh, the sheer irony." Ferb said quietly.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until the batteries come in."

"What are we supposed to do until then?" Buford asked.

"Why don't we all just go home and just wait until things getting settled?" Isabella asked. "This way, _I_ can have some time with my Phineas," She rushed over to Relaxed Phineas. "and you can have some time with _your_ Phineas."

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Project Phineas asked, appearing slightly offended by Isabella's remark.

"Nothing. But I know that you're the Phineas that likes to do projects during the day."

"Yeah. So? I thought you liked doing projects with me."

"I do love doing projects with you. But all _you_ can think about is projects. Before, you were able to think about both projects _and_ me. But that's clearly not the case since you've been split in two. So I figured I would leave you alone so I could spend time with the Phineas that's crazy about me."

"That's awfully nice of you, but you're going to be missing out."

"I think I'll survive." She casually chuckled and hugged Relaxed Phineas, causing him to giggle. "Come on. Let's all go home."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had his own problems to deal with. Beast Ezekiel was running around uncontrollably in the lair, while Pet Ezekiel was trying to cozy up to Doofenshmirtz. Everywhere, broken glass lay on the floor, as the former had no self-control over himself. Doofenshmirtz was running around frantically, trying in some way, to get the pet's attention.

"Ezekiel, stop! Quit it!" He shouted fiercely to try and get his attention. "You're wrecking everything!" He shook his head and groaned, realizing that the less control over his pet he had, the more likely he was going to be kicked out of his building. "Oh, what am I going to do?"

"Simple. Control your pet." Norm pointed out in his usual, peppy voice.

"If I could do that, I wouldn't be having this problem!"

As Doofenshmirtz took off running after Ezekiel, there was a knock at the door. It opened up and Vanessa, his daughter, stepped in. "Hey Dad. Ready to-" She stopped in her tracks and took one look around, seeing the destruction Ezekiel had caused. "Whoa. What happened in here?"

"Vanessa!" He shouted, as he and Ezekiel ran past her. "Thank goodness! I need your help!"

"What's going on?"

"I have a lot of explaining to do, but bottom line: My pet is out of control, and my tenant will be here any minute!"

"So what's the problem? You got your check, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but-" Just as Doofenshmirtz was close to Ezekiel, he tripped over himself and face-planted on the ground, hard. "Ow!" This gave Ezekiel the opportunity to get away. Sighing, he stood up and dusted himself off. "My tenant has a strict "No-pet" policy. If he finds out I have two pets, he'll kick me out for sure."

"Two pets? Since when did you get..." She peered over her dad's shoulders and saw Pet Ezekiel lying on his back, tongue hanging out, panting like a regular dog.

"In my defense, I don't know how this happened. And my tenant will be any minute."

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll help in any way I can." Suddenly, there was a loud doorbell that rang through the entire building.

"Oh no! He's here! OK, you want to help? Great. You can start by stalling my tenant as long as possible."

"Got it." Vanessa turned around and bolted out the door and down the stairs in an effort to stall her father's tenant, leaving her father with the challenging task of trying to control his two pets while also trying to hide them from the person who was allowing him to live in the building.

Downstairs, Vanessa opened the door, and was greeted by a tall, stern man with white hair, glasses, a white mustache, and a white lab coat. "Can I help you?"

"I am Dr. Ronald McNeel, the tenant for this building. I am here to collect the rent from a Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

"Yes, I know, I'm his daughter, Vanessa, and he sent me to tell you that he will have your money ready momentarily."

"Uh-uh-uh. I cannot wait." He said as he strode past her swiftly and started heading up the stairs. "I have a very important convention to get to, so I must collect the rent from him and head out post-heist!" He started marching towards the elevator. In an act of desperation, she ran past him and attempted to block the elevator door with her body.

"No! Uh, I mean...my father insisted that we wait for him to come down and deliver the money."

"I'm sure he did. But I cannot wait for him. Please step aside." He pressed a button on the elevator, and a moment later, the door opened up. He grabbed her by the waist, picked her up gently, and then placed her down to the side of the elevator. Then, he promptly entered the elevator. She rushed in right after him. He ignored her as he set his destination for Doofenshmirtz's floor.

Vanessa was now desperate for a solution that would buy her some time. Instantly, she saw the "Emergency Stop" button, and pressed it as quickly as she could. Immediately, as the name implied, the elevator stopped dead in its tracks.

"What was that?" He asked in a slight state of panic.

"It seems like the elevator is out of order. Freaky, huh?"

"Did you just press the "Emergency Stop" button?"

"What? Me Press the Emergency Stop button?" She snorted loudly, then laughed. "No. Why?"

"Because it's broken and it looks like somebody punched it."

"Hey, I didn't punch it! I don't have manly arms. Why does everybody say I have manly arms?"

"Aha! So you admit that it was you who pressed the button."

"Drat! I always fall for that."

"Well, child, I hope you are happy with yourself. Because of you, we are now both stuck in this accursed elevator for who knows how long."

"Don't worry. After a while, my dad will realize that something is very wrong, and he'll come looking for me. He'll realize that the elevator is out, and he'll call somebody to repair it. No worries." She sighed, sat down on the ground, and crossed her legs, fully assured that her father would come to their rescue if nobody else would.

"I find it ironic that you are so nonchalant about this situation considering that you are responsible for this whole mess."

"Like I said...don't worry. My dad will think of something if we can't get out of here soon. In the meantime..." Vanessa sat down on the floor, up against the wall, crossed her arms around the back of her head, and sighed deeply. "Let's just kick back and relax."

"That's easy for you to say, given the fact that your I.Q. is most likely less than half of mine." With that comment, Vanessa popped her eyes open and glared at him for moment.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on Maple Drive, the kids had returned home. Relaxed Phineas was taken to one side of the backyard by Isabella so they could spend some time together, while Project Phineas stayed in the front yard with Ferb, Buford, Baljeet, and Irving to work on some projects that he & Ferb had designed.

Relaxed Phineas and Isabella took refuge up by the big tree in the midst of the backyard. "Oh, Phineas, isn't this relaxing?" She spoke quietly, even giggling as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Don't you just want to close your eyes and take a long nap?"

"I sure do." Relaxed Phineas responded with a yawn. "And who better to take a nap with than with my favorite girl in the world?"

"Oh, Phineas. Stop it." She sighed lovingly. "You know, you don't have to do this for me. Just because you're the personality that's obsessed with me doesn't mean you have to pay attention to me every single second of the day."

"Even if there was only one of me, I would still want to spend as much time with you as I could. You're my best friend in the world, Isabella. My whole world revolves around you."

"Please stop saying stuff like that. I get it. You love me. Can't we just lay here and relax?"

"Of course, my love." Relaxed Phineas leaned in and kissed her. "You can make any situation bright and beautiful."

"OK, now you're going on borderline creepy."

"What? Is it a crime to unconditionally love my favorite girl in the whole, wide world? Is it a crime to make her feel like a princess?"

"It will be if you don't tone it down a little?"

"My dear, you sound so stressed out. Maybe I should give you a shoulder massage."

"Ugh! No, Phineas! Just...Just stay away!" Frustrated, Isabella stood up and started running towards the front yard. Though she did enjoy when Phineas gave her attention, it was the fluffy, lovey-dovey, gooey stuff that she couldn't stand, because generally, it stemmed from self-esteem and depression issues Phineas has been suffering from over the past few months.

"Isabella, wait!" Relaxed Phineas shouted, standing up and gearing to follow her. "Wait, my love!"

Meanwhile, in the front yard, Project Phineas, and the rest of the kids, were busy trying to build another contraption. But this one wasn't going as smoothly as the previous one. "No, no, Buford. Those titanium bolts go over _there_. Come on, use your head." Project Phineas was growing more frustrated with each passing minute, believing that his friends were not following through with his intentions or living up to his expectations. "Baljeet, what are you doing? The flagpole goes up on top! What? Do you live in a cave, or something?" His friends were also growing frustrated because their Phineas never showed any anger and animosity towards them during the creation of their projects. "Irving! Dude, come on! It's like I'm working with monkeys. You're not supposed to paint it until the-" And without further warning, the entire contraption collapsed. "end."

"Glad that's over." Buford remarked, dropping his supplies.

"Yes, I am too." Baljeet followed suit.

"You were becoming quite the buzz kill." Irving also followed suit.

"It's not my fault you guys are completely incompetent."

"Oh, is that right?" Buford shouted angrily.

"Yeah. What? Were you hit on the head when you a baby? You can't even follow simple instructions."

"You're yelling at us and treating us like little kids who don't know any better." Irving responded. "It's making me think twice about wanting to do this project with you."

"Fine. Then go home. Ferb and I can do it ourselves. Right, Ferb?" He turned to Ferb.

"You were so much more enjoyable when there was only one of you." He responded peacefully, which caused Phineas to smirk. "Well, you were." The kids all turned to the backyard gate as they saw Isabella storm out, with Relaxed Phineas following her.

"My dear, wait! I could make you a candlelit dinner for two under the stars!"

"Leave me alone, Phineas!"

"Oh, great." Irving said to himself, groaning in a rather annoyed fashion. "Looks like our Phineas isn't the only annoying Phineas out there."

"Tell me about it." Isabella continued on. "This Phineas is starting to get on my nerves with all of the attention that he's giving me. He's doing and saying everything I asked Phineas not to do or say. I can't stand it!"

"We have to get these two back together, and soon." Baljeet piped up. "It will be nice to get back our old friend, Phineas."

"Ditto."

"But wait. The battery shortage!" Project Phineas reminded them. "There are no AAA batteries anywhere in Danville."

"Not in stores. But I just remembered that I may have two old batteries in my house somewhere." Buford said.

"Do they have enough power to charge our molecular separator ray?"

"I don't know. But would you rather wait for our mayor to end this stupid and unnecessary "battery shortage"?"

"Point taken. OK, Buford. Take us to the batteries."

Buford led them all to his house and quickly ran inside. He came out moments later with two AAA batteries clutched in his fists. "Got 'em!" He shouted, running back to them and inserting them into their molecular separator contraption. A light lit up on the top, indicating that the separator had enough power to operate. "Alright! It looks like we have enough power in this baby to fire it up!" Project Phineas shouted triumphantly.

"Thank goodness." Relaxed Phineas responded, relieved that he and Project Phineas were finally going to become one again. All of their friends seemed to agree with them.

"Well, let's not waste any more time." Isabella giggled with excitement, realizing that her beloved Phineas was about to return to normal. "Fire it up!"

"You got it!" Project Phineas pressed the button to activate it, but initially, nothing happened. "Hey, what gives?" He pressed the button several more times. Still, nothing. "It's not working! But the light is indicating that it has enough power!" After a few more presses of the button, the device finally began to light up. A light blue aura surrounded it, and after a few seconds, the light seemed to explode. The resulting light, however, did not damage the children in any manner. Instead, it did the device's job, and merged the two Phineas's together, bringing the old, lovable Phineas back.

He rubbed his head and opened his eyes, looking around for a quick moment. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked, as if nothing had actually happened. Needless to say, his friends, and stepbrother, were all pleased to see only one Phineas sitting on the ground, completely clueless.

"Phineas!" Isabella shouted, rushing in and giving him a hug, relieved that he was back to normal. "I am so glad to see you, and only you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We'll explain later. Right now, we're just really glad to have you back." She kissed him on the cheek, then helped him up as the kids all started walking back to their respective houses. "You wouldn't believe what we went through today."

"I probably would. It couldn't possibly be any more crazy than the things we already do, could it?"

"You'd be surprised, Phineas. You'd be surprised."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, several hours had passed, and Vanessa & Doofenshmirtz's tenant were still stuck in the building's elevator. By now, Doofenshmirtz had figured out that his pet, Ezekiel, had somehow been returned to one figure. Though he did not understand how Ezekiel had returned to one personality, let alone how he was split into two personalities in the first place, he was relieved to see just one of him left, and now, with that problem out of the way, he was free to pay his rent to his tenant.

He picked up his phone and started dialing Vanessa's cell number to get in contact with her daughter. The phone rang several times before somebody did pick up.

"_Hello?_"

"Dr. Ronald McNeel? Is that you?"

"_Heinz, would you please explain to me the barbaric behavior behind your daughter's actions?"_

"I don't understand."

"_First, you send your daughter to stall me unnecessarily. Then, on top of them, she hastily breaks the "Emergency Stop" button in the elevator, trapping us in between the 2nd and the 3rd floor! And if that wasn't bad enough...your daughter falls asleep!" _

Inside the elevator, the tenant looked behind him and took notice of Vanessa, who was sitting flat on the floor, hands to the side, fast asleep, snoring lightly. "What a repulsive sight."

"_Hey, that's my daughter you're talking about."_

"Look, Heinz, why did you feel that you had to go to such lengths just to get an extension on your rent?"

"_Look, it's not like that at all."_

"Well, if you have the money, then I don't see any problem. Just pay me when the elevator is fixed, and I'll be on my way."

"_Of course. No problem. Wait, did you say that the elevator is out?_"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"_OK, that's not a problem. I'll just call the repairman of the building to go and fix the building."_

"Heinz, there _is_ no repairman. The budget for the building didn't call for one, so one was never hired."

"_What!"_ He shouted in disdain.

"It's not that big of a deal. Just call a local repairman, and tell him to..." But before he could continue, there was a click on the other line, indicating that Doofenshmirtz had hung up the phone. "Heinz? Hello? Hello?" He hung up Vanessa's phone, and placed it on the floor next to the sleeping girl. "This may be a problem." He took a deep breath and regained his composure. "OK, I can handle this. So what if I am stuck in an elevator for a few hours with...her." He referred to the sleeping Vanessa. "I can surely deal with it until a repairman shows up." Just then, Vanessa's phone began ringing again. The phone was set on the lowest possible volume before vibrate, so the sound didn't wake Vanessa up. The tenant walked over and answered the phone. "Hello?"

"_OK, so I called the local Tri-State repairman, but the thing is...he is out of town."_

"Out of town, you say?"

"_Yeah, he's on vacation, visiting family, you know. This is his last day, but he won't be back until tonight, around 8 o'clock."_

"What? How am I supposed to survive until tonight trapped inside this accursed elevator, let alone with your daughter. It's one thing to be trapped with her, but do you hear this? It sounds like a lawnmower going at full speed!"

"_You are overreacting. It's not that bad at all. You are just paranoid right now."_

"Right." He responded sarcastically.

"_Don't worry. I assure you I will have you and Vanessa out of there by tonight, and you will get your rent. But for now, just hang tough. It'll be over soon. Before I go...a word of advice."_

"What?"

_"Don't make too much noise. If a loud noise disturbs her while she's sleeping peacefully, she'll wake up irritable and grumpy. Trust me, you do not want that."_

"Very well. That shouldn't be too hard. I am known for my agility and stealth." He hung up the phone quietly, and proceeded to return it to her. But as he did, he tripped over his own shoelace, fell face first, screamed, and dropped the phone. He let out one scream, but covered his mouth immediately after, stopping himself before he could wake Vanessa up. "Oh, dear. That was close. How am I going to be able to survive..." He checked his watch. "6 hours of this? I know. I will entertain myself with a little bit of math."

He cleared his throat, softly. "The pythagorean theorem is a relation in Euclidean geometry among the three sides of a right triangle. In any right triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares whose sides are the two legs, and can be written as A squared plus B squared equals C squared." He let out a soft chuckle. "What a fascinating trigonometric equations." He let out another laugh, this time, more of a pity laugh. It slowly died down until finally, the man sighed heavily and hung his arms out, as if he was too depressed to care. "I am so lonely."

**End of Episode 49!**

**Next Time: Phineas and Ferb's annual "Prank Day" has arrived, and it's boys vs. girls. This can only mean one thing: that things are not going to be pretty. Meanwhile, the O.W.C.A. hosts an all-day "Laser Tag" competition for the agents, and things get ugly rather quickly.**

**Expected Update: Check my Profile Page.**


	61. 50: King of Pranks

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 50: King of Pranks**

**Episode Summary: ************Once a year, Phineas and Ferb host a "Prank Day", a day sourly focused on pranking their best friends. This year, it's boys vs. girls. This can only mean one thing: that things are not going to be pretty. Meanwhile, the O.W.C.A. hosts an all-day "Laser Tag" competition for the agents, and things get ugly rather quickly, especially when Dr. Doofenshmirtz and other members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. intrude on the game.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun was rising up in Danville, dawning yet another summer day. The hour of 7 was approaching, and Phineas & Ferb were already wide awake, dressed, and outside, carrying with them several boxes of supplies with them. They proceeded to open the boxes and take out several unusual objects, such as pies of different flavors, hand-buzzers, barrels of colored goop, tampered jack-in-the-boxes, etc.

"I can't believe it's finally here." Phineas said to Ferb. "My personal favorite day of summer...other than the day I met Isabella, of course."

"So, what's the prize this year?" Ferb asked his stepbrother.

"Well..."

"Hey, nerds!" Came a shrill, somewhat deep voice from across the yard. The boys looked up and saw Buford, Baljeet, and the rest of their guy friends heading their way. "It's about time! I've been waiting for this day all summer long."

"Patience, Buford. We're just getting out all the supplies Ferb and I are gonna use. What about you guys?"

"Like we're gonna tell you what we're gonna use to beat you with." He responded.

"Our tactics will remain a secret." Baljeet jumped in. "Until the time comes to unleash them on you!"

"Yeah! What they said!" Django also jumped into the conversation, without really a clue of what they were talking about. "Uh, what are talking about here?"

"Oh, that's right, Django. You've never done this before. See, Django, one day a year during the last full month of summer, we guys all gather together, and dedicate one full day to just pulling pranks on each other. Basically, if you get pranked, you're out, and the last man standing wins the pot."

"And what's this "pot" you speak of?"

"Well, it varies each year. But this year, the prize for winning is..." Phineas opened up the smallest box that was out there, and pulled out two slim, small strips of paper. "World Series tickets! Right behind the visitor's dugout." All of the friends "ooh'd" and "ahh'd" at the sight of the tickets. World Series tickets were virtually impossible to come by, even two months before it actually happened. "Ferb and I have tickets as well, so the winner gets one ticket for himself, and another to give to whomever they please."

"How on Earth did you get World Series tickets?" Irving asked, rather curiously.

"I don't know. My mom gave them to us, but she wouldn't tell us how she got them. Anyway, get your pranking materials and yourselves ready because the pranking commences at exactly 9 AM today. The last man standing wins."

"What if the game runs really long?"

"Glad you asked that. Here are the official rules."

Phineas pulled out a tiny book where he and Ferb had set down all the rules to their tradition. "Pranks that involve bodily harm, and by bodily harm, we mean broken bones, is prohibited and will result in a disqualification by the prankster. Any prank targeted to a part of the body below the belt will result in a disqualification of the prankster. And finally, after the hour of 3 in the afternoon, if there are any pranksters still in the game, all bets are off."

"So it becomes a free-for-all?" Baljeet asked.

"Exactly. So make sure you're good and ready. Oh, and no body armor or helmets allowed. Sorry, Baljeet."

"That is quite alright. I do not need a helmet or body armor, for my body is not the fragile thing it was a year ago."

"Really?" Buford proceeded to quickly give Baljeet a wedgie. Baljeet screamed loudly. "Nope. I say it's still fragile."

"Get yourselves ready. We've got less than two hours left until the pranking commences. And remember, the World Series is on the-"

"_PHINEAS FLYNN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"_ Came a loud, shrieking voice that seemed to carry throughout the entire block. The kids all turned in the direction that the voice was coming from. This led them to the house across from them, as they all faintly saw Isabella, still in her pajamas, sticking her head out of her bedroom window. She appeared to be a bit irritated, most likely attributed to her concern over Phineas's health. Constantly, she told him that she was not comfortable with him waking up as early as 7:00, and preferred that, for his own health (and sometimes, her enjoyment), he should sleep in more.

"Hey, it's Isabella!" Phineas said, running across the street to go see her. "Hey, Isabella! What are you doing up so early?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing! Phineas, you know how I feel about you getting up so early in the morning. You know that you weaken very easily and that you have very poor stamina, and that you need a lot more than just 8 hours of sleep, right?"

"I know that, and I thank you for caring so much. But this is a special day!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's the annual "King of Pranks Day!"

"King of Pranks Day? What on Earth is that?"

"Well, one day during the last month of summer, we all gather together and dedicate an entire day to an all-out prank war, where the last man standing wins a special prize."

"Ooh, sounds like fun."

"You can join us, if you want."

"NO! No way!" Buford shouted, as he and the others quickly caught up with Phineas. "You can't let a girl into our prank way!"

"What's the matter, Buford? Afraid you'll get beaten by a girl? Again?"

"Girls are nothing when it comes to pranks! Us men have the upper hand on girls when it comes to pranks."

"Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is?"

"Hey, that's a great idea." Phineas jumped in.

"What is?"

"We'll make it a boys vs. girls! Isabella, call your Fireside Girls and tell them to meet me in my front yard at 0800 hours!" He waited momentarily for a response, only to realize that Isabella didn't know what he had just said. "That means 8:00."

"Oh. OK, we'll be there!"

"But-"

"And we're gonna kick your sorry boy butts! Except you, Phineas. I wouldn't want anything to happen to that cute tushie of yours. Or your cute face. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, but you are in for the fight of your life." She giggled playfully; he laughed again.

"And I look forward to it, Isabella. But you and your girls are going down!" He chuckled as he heard Buford groan loudly behind him. "Cheer up, Buford. This could be your chance to settle the score between you and Isabella."

"Yeah. I guess so." He responded. "But my usual pranks aren't going to cut it. I've got to step up my game if I want to beat her and her Fireside Girls. I must start planning!" And with that, he turned around and raced back to his house to gather up all of his supplies. The other boys, with the exception of Phineas & Ferb, who casually walked back to their house.

"Boy, Ferb, this is already gearing up to the best the best prank day ever!" Phineas said optimistically as they made their way across the street. "I bet Perry would love this kind of stuff."

* * *

Meanwhile, down underground, Perry had already coasted into the O.W.C.A.'s headquarters. He arrived to find that every other agent in the O.W.C.A. were also gathered together. The next thing he saw, when he looked up to the front of the room, was his boss, Monogram, and his intern, Carl.

"Welcome, agents." Monogram announced loudly through his microphone. "As you all know, today is a very special day for the O.W.C.A. For today is the annual O.W.C.A. laser tag competition! Once a year, we hold this extraordinary contest to test our agents' skills as an agent, as well as their agility, strength, discipline, and courage...all of the qualities of a magnificent secret agent, which I'm sure all of you have. And as always, the winner of the entire competition wins the grand prize. Our gigantic O.W.C.A. "Prize Pot"! Carl, get the pot!"

"Right away, sir!" Carl stepped aside momentarily. Then he came back with a giant vase full of stuff to give away for the competition.

"Let's see...this year's prizes include..." He pulled out each prize as he announced them. "A 10% membership off of Netflix, six packs of string cheese, uh...um, assorted lotions, a plastic champagne bottle filled with jellybeans, and...uh, a little bear." He held up the bear for all the agents to see. "See? A little bear?" Then he spoke again, changing the pitch of his voice. "Hey, guys. I can't wait to go home with one of you. We're get to snuggle and play peek-a-boo, and..."

Monogram stopped when he realized that all of the agents, and Carl, were a tad weirded out with his sudden outburst in a childish tone. **(A/N: That little outburst, as well as the list of prizes, was a parody of the Family Guy Star Wars Parody entitled "Blue Harvest") **He cleared his throat. "Sorry. Uh, anyway, as last year's winner, Agent P is ineligible to participate in contest for this year's prize. But, he won't be completely left out. As last year's winner, Agent P has the distinct honor of choosing this year's battle setting, using this machine." He stepped aside to reveal the machine to everyone. "He will have complete control over the environment and will be permitted to change the environment as he pleases. It will be up to you, secret agents, to adapt to each new environment as it appears."

"The rules, of course, for the game itself, as simple. You get fired at, and the light on your chest pad goes out, you're out of the game. No physical contact allowed, and no destruction of any property on any playing field. Violations of this rule will result in an automatic disqualification. Other than that, anything goes. So, secret agents, head to our "Laser Tag Equipment" room to gather your stuff. When you come out, your battle ground will be waiting for you. And do remember, the battle ground can change at any time. Good luck, agents."

The agents all gave a salute to their boss, then headed off towards the equipment room to get their supplies. "As for me..." Monogram continued. "And for you, Agent P, it will be our job to not only keep this Laser Tag game in order, but to also keep a sharp lookout for the evil nemeses of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. For years, they have been trying to infiltrate our headquarters on this very day. Though they have never actually succeeded in locating our headquarters and thwarting our events, each year, they've been getting closer. I have growing concerns that this is the year that they finally find our secret headquarters, break in, and ruin our day. That's why I'm going to need your help, Agent P. I'm going to need your help to keep unwanted intruders from entering the facility. But, of course, knowing Dr. Doofenshmirtz, that may not be a big problem."

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, said evil scientist, along with other members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N, were gathered to think up a brilliant strategy to break into O.W.C.A. headquarters and intrude on the annual Laser Tag game.

"My comrades, fellow brethren'," Dr. Doofenshmirtz spoke to the other members. "Today, our triumph arrives! Today is the day that L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. finally conquers the Organization Without a Cool Acronym!"

"Would you please stop shouting for two minutes and explain to us how we are possible going to do that?" Rodney smirked, unimpressed with Doofenshmirtz's attempt to bring their spirits up with an opening speech.

"Very well, Rodney. If you must know, today is the day of the O.W.C.A.'s annual "Laser Tag" Contest. Every agent enlisted in the agency is far too busy trying to win the 1st place prize, which, knowing Monogram, is something cheap and invaluable. But that's beside the point. Today, they will all be far too distracted with their little game to notice us as we infiltrate their lair, capture all of their secrets, and then destroy them! And it's all thanks to this-" Doofenshmirtz stepped off his podium, walked over to a chalkboard that was covered by a white sheet, and pulled the sheet off, revealing a very elaborate, yet somewhat simple scheme to accomplish their task.

"And...what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?" Rodney pointed out the rather complex mechanics of Doofenshmirtz's alleged "scheme".

"What? This? Come now, Rodney. Don't tell me you've never seen a complicated plan such as this? But it's really quite simple when you get down to it. You see, I propose that we, the members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N...bust in through the front door screaming like Indian-people and attempt to subdue all of the agents before they have a chance to react." Doofenshmirtz seemed fairly confident in his "plan", and awaited response from his fellow comrades. Sadly for him, the responses he would be getting would be anything but positive.

"And what part of that plan is complicated for you, Heinz?" Rodney responded back hastily.

"Well, well...for one thing, we don't even know where the entrance to the establishment is. So, I suppose that _is_ complicated, in a way."

"Just admit it, Heinz. You don't have a plan."

"Now wait a minute. That is not true. I too have a plan! SO this plan is a flop! I still have others. Such as..." He flipped the chalkboard to reveal the other side. There was far more drawings on this side than the other side. "This one. I call this the "easy plan". Doofenshmirtz emphasized the last two words harshly to address Rodney specifically. "I was hoping for the other plan since it seems more complex and thus more fun. But if you all want to take the easy way out, then fine by me."

Rodney attempted to reiterate his questioning, but instead, he decided to stay silent, seeing no point at all in trying to talk some sense into him.

"And just for your lack of support, none of you are allowed to come with me! Ha! How about that? Jerks!" Doofenshmirtz scoffed, took his chalkboard, and stormed off, with every intent of carrying out his overly-complicated plan by himself. Rodney turned to the other members of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. and spoke again.

"Who's up for simply barging in like Heinz said?" He asked. All raised their hands in agreement instantly. "Good. Then let's do this."

* * *

By the time the hour of nine had arrived, the kids were all ready with their gear to begin Phineas & Ferb's annual "Prank War". Isabella was able to convince her troop to participate in the event. So they met up with her in Phineas and Ferb's backyard, where the pranking was set to commence.

"Everybody here? Great. I guess it's almost time." Phineas announced, checking his watch. "Remember, guys, the last boy, or girl, standing wins, and after 3:00, there are no rules."

"You girls are going down!" Buford shouted triumphantly. "Us boys are the best there is when it comes to pranks. You girls don't have anything on us!"

"That is correct! We will emerge victorious!" Baljeet jumped in, eager to join in the fun.

"Guys, calm down. It's just for fun. There's no need to get ultra competitive like this."

"Sorry, dilweed. You know me. When it comes to girls, I don't hold back."

"I'll hold you to that promise, Buford." Isabella smirked playfully. "Phineas, you're not going to get overly competitive like Buford, are you?"

"Of course not, Isabella. You have my word."

"And you're sure that you're going to be fine to do this?"

"Yes. Now get ready guys, and spread out, because our prank war starts right...about...now!" He shouted, signaling the beginning of the game. All of the kids ran off in different directions to perfect their strategies. Meanwhile, Phineas & Isabella stayed behind, seeing no reason to rush into it.

"Well, aren't you going to run after them?" Isabella asked him.

"No. No I'm not. Why should I, anyway? We have the entire day to do this. If we rush into it, there won't be any fun left."

"Yeah, you're right." Isabella and Phineas both proceeded to take their first step towards the exit, only to have a green, puffy explosion go up in their faces. When the green smoke cleared, Phineas and Isabella were left covered in a green, gooey substance, which meant that the two of them had already been pranked, and thus, the two of them were out.

Having heard the explosion, Buford rushed back to see the two green figures. "Ha! You both fell for it! I knew it!" He cackled loudly. "In your face, girl!" He shouted to Isabella as he left the scene and retreated back to his house.

"Wait, so does this mean we're out of the game?" Isabella asked, with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Yes. Yes it does. Phineas replied, with also a slight hint of disappointment. He and Isabella stood there for a brief moment before their frowns turned into smiles. Phineas looked up at his girlfriend, completing forgetting about the entire contest for a moment. "Want to go inside and relax?"

"You bet I do, Phineas!" She giggled playfully, taking joy in the prospect of being able to relax next to the boy she loved so dearly. She kissed him lovingly as the two went inside to clean themselves up and watch some TV for a while. The thought of winning a silly prank war that were set up by Phineas & Ferb quickly left their minds, as they sat down on the couch, cozied up next to each other, and remained content with simply being in each other's company. Holding his girlfriend in his arms, he turned on the TV, set the remote down, and slowed his breathing, allowing his body to relax in the presence of his future wife.

Meanwhile, the same could not be said about the other kids, as they were well into their prank war already. The aspect of game play had already consumed Buford's mind completely, and he unofficially took the role as the "leader" of the guys. "Alright, men, listen up!" He roared to them, determined to beat the girls. "We're already down one man. But the good news is, the girls are also down one. So now at least we have a good chance of taking them down! We must use all of our resources carefully. Otherwise, we'll be taken down just like Dilweed!"

"Buford?" Baljeet asked quietly, raising his hand. "Do you believe that you are taking this "prank war" just a tiny bit too far?"

"No! No I don't. We have to get to those girls down before they get to us! And I have an idea..."

So after a brief planning session between them, the boys devised what they considered a "fool-proof" plan to prank the girls. Then, they slowly and carefully made their way to Adyson's house, where the other girls were also planning their strategy.

"OK, girls. News update: We lost our faithful troop leader, Isabella, to the cruel, cruel world of the pranks." Adyson announced, assuming the position of leader with Isabella out of the game. "We need to fight those boys harder than we've ever fought against anything as Fireside Girls!"

"Adyson, are you sure you're not letting this whole "boys vs. girls" thing go to your head?" Gretchen asked her.

"Of course not, Gretchen. Don't worry about it. I'm just very passionate about these things. That's all." Adyson went to continue her speech, only to be interrupted by the sound of loud coughing from the front yard, apparently from someone trying to clear his/her throat. "What's that?" She and the other girls ran to the front of the house to see who was there. They arrived to find a tall man wearing a trench coat and a black mustache, as well as a beige detective hat. The girls instantly grew suspicious, believing it to be a mere trick from the boys.

"Hello, young ladies." The man spoke, in a rather squeaky and distorted voice, as if he was trying to mask his true voice. His voice also gave hint of a German accent. "I have a package addressed to an "Adyson Sweetwater"." He held out a small cardboard box and presented it to Adyson. She smirked, sensing a trick.

"Oh, really?" She said suspiciously. "And...uh, what's in the box?" She lowered her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"I don't know. I'm not supposed to look in the box. I'm just ordered to deliver the box to you."

"Mmm-hmm. I'm sure you are." She was still not convinced. "Tell you what. Let's just place this box right on the ground here and see what's inside." She took the box rather forcefully and placed it on the ground.

"Why? What would that accomplish?"

"You'll see. Just wait." Adyson said confidently, waiting momentarily for something to happen in the box. But, when nothing did happen, she grew suspicious once again. "Hey, what gives?"

"What is your problem It is just a box, is it not?"

"I don't know. _Is_ it?"

"Yes. Just open the box already." The man was growing impatient, as was Adyson.

"Why don't _you_ open it?"

"Very well. If that is what you want, I will open the box."

"Fine!"

"Fine!" The man grunted, then knelled down and opened the box. Adyson prepared for the worst and was ready to take her pranking weapons out in case it was a trick. But as the man lifted the top opened, they all looked inside and saw nothing more than a home-made pie.

"Hey, wait." Adyson slowly approached the box. "It's a Boston Cream pie. This is no trick! My grandmother makes them all the times and ships one out to me once every 3 months. But wait, does this mean you're _not_ working with the boys?"

"I don't have time for any more of your nonsensical questions, young lady! You must learn to respect authority if you are ever going to have a good life. Now, if you are all done wasting my valuable time, I have many more packages to deliver." He turned around briskly and walked away, never intending to look back. Meanwhile, as the man walked away, Buford and Baljeet, having thought of the same trick, came into the scene, disguised as a tall man with a mustache.

"What the-?" Buford questioned, noticing the man with their disguise. "Oh man! We're too late! Now the girls are onto us! Retreat!" Buford and Baljeet turned themselves around and started running for cover. The girls decided to do nothing and wait for another opportunity to roll by before they did anything with them.

* * *

Back at the O.W.C.A. Headquarters, the annual Laser Tag Competition was well underway, and while everybody else was fighting for the prizes at stake, Perry had a special job. He was on lookout for any L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. villains that would try to sneak into the headquarters. He was taken into a separate room by Monogram with many security cameras set up all around the building, and a control panel with many buttons that contained security detail that would stop them in their tracks.

For the first half hour or so of the competition, things were relatively quiet. No villains attempted to break in, and the competition was rather heated, with only a few eliminated agents. But after some more time had passed, the lights in the room began to flicker, indicating an attempted security breach. Perry turned to the cameras and saw everyone from L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., with the obvious exception of Doofenshmirtz, holding a battering ram and attempting to knock the door that they believed was the entrance to the O.W.C.A. headquarters, which it wasn't, down with it.

Perry observed as the members all took several steps back, then took a charge at the door, crashing the ram into it. The force was strong, but not able to knock the door down. Reacting quickly, Perry rolled his chair over to another separate control panel, and pressed a button, but not just any button. This button unleashed dozens of security lasers that were dropped from the ceiling, pointed square at the evil geniuses. At that point, they had not yet noticed the lasers pointing at them. It was only after a soft hum that began to get louder did they all look up and discover the lasers.

"Uh oh." Rodney uttered quietly to himself, as he, and the others, braced for the impact. The lasers quickly fired at them, shooting light, but brisk blasts at them. They were not strong enough to cause major damage to them; they were irritating to the skin more than anything, and they quickly retreated from the area. After some time had passed, Perry took another look at the security cameras, and saw his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, attempting to break into the O.W.C.A. headquarters. However, he had a far different strategy from the others.

Doofenshmirtz brought with him what appeared to be a giant jackhammer with a GPS system hooked up to it. "Perfect. And now, it's time to activate my newest creation..." Doofenshmirtz said to himself. "My Jackhammer-inator! Once I turn this thing on, it will dig a giant hole into the ground, and with the GPS tracking device & scanners I installed into it, I can locate the inside of the O.W.C.A. building. Then, I will crawl through the tunnel created, and take control of the building, thus taking control of the entire organization!" He laughed evilly and rather loudly before turning his machine on.

Back inside the building, Perry was receiving a message from his boss on his communicator watch. "Agent P, do you see what I'm seeing? Dr. Doofenshmirtz is planning to drill his way into our headquarters." As Monogram explained the already obvious, Dr. Doofenshmirtz turned on his machine, and immediately, it began drilling a hole into the ground, and, using its built-in tracking device, made a path through the ground up into the building. As for where the jackhammer ended up, well, it ended up in the very same room that Perry was in. "You have to stop Doofenshmirtz from entering the building. You must divert him away or provide a distraction somehow."

Perry instantly leaped into action, diving into the hole that the jackhammer had made, and maneuvering through it quickly to get to Doofenshmirtz, who had just begun his crawl through his man-made hole. The path that the jackhammer had made was not straight-forward, like most would expect. There were many, many twists and turns that saw Perry & Doofenshmirtz going around in circles at times. In fact, there were even loop-de-loop paths made by the jackhammer.

Eventually, Doofenshmirtz and Perry did meet up with each other in the middle of it all, and in the middle of a loop-de-loop hole as it turns out. "Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "What a nice surprise. I was just coming in to take over the building. See, I built this super-powered jackhammer that's been digging through the ground, underneath the building, to build me a route to the inside, where I plan to take over the building, and use the O.W.C.A.'s technology to take over the Tri-State Area!" He gave out a loud maniacal laugh that lasted briefly. "Now, I guess I could fight you here. But there's barely any room to really move around. Why don't we go to solid ground. Turn around and lead the way, Perry the Platypus."

Perry raised an eyebrow, then shook his head. He was not going to let Doofenshmirtz trick him like that.

"Oh, I see. You're seeing through my trick, Perry the Platypus. Clever. But you won't stop me from taking over the Tri-State Area!" At that precise moment, Doofenshmirtz's self-operating jackhammer had returned, and the result was several new tunnels being made for them, giving them more options to move around all around them. "Huh. That's peculiar. I thought it would self-destruct when it had reached its target. Oh well. At least now I can get away from you! A ha ha!" Doofenshmirtz turned around and started crawling quickly through the tunnels, hoping to edge away from Perry.

Though he got a quick head start over Perry, the platypus was able to stay right behind him, until another tunnel opened up; when that happened, he hustled through that tunnel in order to go around Doofenshmirtz and block off his path. The platypus's effort proved to be greater than Doofenshmirtz's, as he was finally able to block him off after following him for what seemed like miles. In a quick haste, Doofenshmirtz sought to take another tunnel to his left, but Perry was too quick, and, after following him a short while, tackled him and subdued him.

"OK, OK! You got me!" He shouted. "Easy on the legs! I'm not a young boy anymore, you know."

As Perry was busy subduing the evil genius, the two of them could not help but notice his jackhammer still going around, digging tunnels like crazy, with absolutely no signs of stopping. "Hmm, you know, it just occurred to me that I failed to install an off switch for my invention. But, no matter. This isn't going to be a problem, right?" He looked up at Perry and chuckled, waiting for him to smile with him. But, he never did. "Right? U-Uh oh."

As for the O.W.C.A., all of its agents were so busy with their laser tag competition that they were completely unaware of what was about to transpire, and Monogram & Carl were too busy observing the competition to notice anything out of the ordinary. "Can you believe this, Carl?" He said to his trusted intern. "We've been at this for nearly 2 hours and yet not a single one of our agents have been eliminated yet...except for one, of course. And yes, I'm talking to you-" He turned to look behind him. "Henry the Hedgehog!" Henry the Hedgehog hung his head in shame. Monogram turned back to the screen, when all of a sudden, the ground began rumbling slightly.

"Sir, did you feel that?" Carl asked.

"I did, Carl. But, I'm sure it's not that big of a deal. It's probably just one of those small magnitude Earthquakes that we really don't feel on the surface."

"Then why is the floor breaking apart?"

"What?" Monogram turned around hastily to see that the ground was indeed breaking apart. "Oh no. What is going on out there?"

Before Monogram could ponder on that thought any further, they found themselves with an entirely new problem. Due to the breaking ground, the electrical wiring within the building was now put under scrutiny, so to speak. Lights began flickering, the machinery began malfunctioning, and this surely meant that the laser tag competition would be compromised.

"Sir, what do we do about the other agents? You made a golden rule that, under no circumstances, would the game be stopped."

"I know what I said, Carl! But if we don't stop the game and warn the agents to get out of there before it's too late, we won't have an agency to run! Forget that stupid rule I made up! I'm sounding the alarm!" Monogram rushed over to the control panel, lifted a box to reveal a big red button underneath. He pushed it as hard as he could, and without a hitch, a loud alarm sounded throughout the entire building, and red lights began flashing, indicating danger. He turned on the microphone. "Attention all agents, we have a code red 421 alert! Repeat! Code red 421 alert! O.W.C.A. headquarters under attack! Evacuate premises immediately! This is not a drill!"

The agents immediately responded by gathering their weapons and racing to the nearest emergency exit. As they did so, the ground beneath them began to break apart, and soon, the floor simply began breaking altogether, and pieces began to fall through the cracks. They all managed to escape before the room began to fall apart, but unfortunately, they all couldn't escape from the building in time. As soon as the agents escaped, the entire building came crashing down, and fell several stories through the ground, until it caught up with Perry & Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Everyone, including Perry & Doofenshmirtz, was buried under layers of rubble & debris.

* * *

Back on the outside, the boys (Buford, Baljeet, Irving, & Ferb) and the girls (all of the Firesides except Isabella) were still heavily involved with the prank war. To this point, only Phineas & Isabella were knocked out of the game, yet they didn't seem to mind it, as they still spent their time watching TV & showing the other affection. Neither, though, could keep their eyes on the TV for long, as they were constantly drawn to their significant other. They shared lots of hugs & kisses throughout the day, as if time had come to a standstill.

It was past noon by this point, yet no action had been taken on either side since Phineas & Isabella were knocked out. But both parties were on the verge of a massive prank breakthrough. Both parties met up in front of Phineas & Ferb's house for an apparent showdown.

"Ready to lose, ladies?" Buford smugly proposed.

"Before you boys do or say anything you might regret, we Fireside Girls have a little proposal for you." Gretchen took out a piece of paper and handed it to Ferb.

"What are you up to?" Buford asked, as Ferb read over the paper.

"Apparently, they're offering us a treaty of peace." Ferb responded.

"Look, we all decided that this "prank war" is getting pretty boring. So we're offering you a chance to surrender. Sign the treaty and forfeit your chance for the prize, and we'll all treat you guys to some frozen yogurt, and we can forget that this day never happened."

"That does sound tempting. I love frozen yogurt." Baljeet replied quickly, with Ferb & Irving agreeing. Buford, however, held his stubborn ground and refused to give in.

"No! What are you? Crazy?" He turned to the others. "We can't surrender to a bunch of girls!"

"But Buford, this would mean that the girls would surrender as well."

"Yeah. It's like a draw. Nobody wins or loses." Irving explained. "Besides, they said they would treat us to frozen yogurt. They're trying to be nice."

"No, they're trying to be wimps and weasel their way out of this without actually losing!"

"Are you serious?" Holly detested. "Is your "muy macho" ego so huge that it won't even let you back out of this gracefully and pretend it never happened?"

"That's right! And you're all just scared that I'm gonna beat you into dust!"

"Hey, if you don't want to have frozen yogurt, that's fine. But we're tired of this and we want some!" Irving, Ferb, and Baljeet walked towards the girls, whom all smirked and crossed their arms at Buford.

"Fine! Join them, you traitors! I'll take them all out myself, and then I won't take any of you to the World Series game, where once again, the New York Yankees will triumph! The Phillies can eat it!" Angry and borderline psychotic, Buford turned and stormed away, his mind racing vigorously with pranking ideas to use on his "foes". The other kids remained silent as they watched the bully walk away arrogantly.

"Huh. What's with him?" Milly said after a brief silence.

"His massive ego. What else?" Adyson sarcastically replied. "Come on, guys. Let's go get some frozen yogurt."

"Wait, what about Phineas & Isabella?" Gretchen questioned, remember the absence of their troop leader & her boyfriend. "Let's go ask them if they want to join us."

They all agreed and went inside the house to find Phineas and Isabella relaxing peacefully and watching TV in the living room, holding each other lovingly in each other's arms. Everyone gave a silent "aww" before speaking again. "Hey guys!" Adyson called. "We're heading out for frozen yogurt! You in?"

"Frozen yogurt? But what happened to the prank war?" Isabella asked, turning her head to her friends, Phineas quickly following suit.

"We decided that it was boring and so we just cancelled it. Buford's really the only one who's still playing. So, you wanna come with us?"

"Nah, I'm good. Phineas?" She turned to her boyfriend who smiled at her.

"No, that's OK. We're fine. You guys go on."

"Suit yourself." They closed the door behind them and traveled down the street, back to Adyson's house, to get frozen yogurt. Phineas & Isabella were left to be with each other and enjoy their company.

"Hey, Phineas?" Isabella said quietly, turning to the boy she loved. He turned his head back to her.

"What?" He asked obliviously. She chuckled and then kissed him gently, but passionately.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He laughed heartily as he allowed the comfort of her embrace to relax him even further. Before he knew it, he found himself yawning frequently, to the point where he couldn't keep his eyes open. So Isabella decided to help him lay down and rest his head on the couch arm. She managed to squeeze herself in the space between the couch back and where Phineas was lying, wrap her arms around his neck, and together, they rested comfortably until the relaxation their bodies felt from being in each other's company allowed them to drift off to a wonderful sleep.

While Phineas & Isabella had drifted off to dream land, thinking only of what their future life would be like, the others (except for Buford, of course) had traveled into town to buy themselves some frozen yogurt, and to forget about their "prank war". Unbeknown to them, Buford was also making his way towards them in order to pull off his "best prank ever!"

"You girls think you're so tough!" He said quietly to himself. "But I'll show you. I'll show all of you who the prank king really is! Those tickets are mine!" He was carrying with him a duffel bag with dozens of self-made "stink bombs" in them. He zipped the bag up so he wouldn't look suspicious, and strolled inside casually. His friends instantly caught a glimpse of him.

"Hello, Buford!" Baljeet shouted happily. "Come! Join us!"

"Uh, sure guys. Whatever." Buford chuckled heartily, secretly holding in his desire to simply pound them all with his stink bombs. He walked over to the table and took the empty seat.

"Glad to see you came to your senses." Irving continued. "That prank war was stupid anyway."

"Uh-huh. Yeah. You got that right." Buford responded quickly, drawing skeptical attention from his friends.

"Are you alright, dude?"

"Yes, you seem rather jumpy and a bit on edge." Ferb noted.

"No, _you_ guys seem jumpy and on edge!" Buford retaliated.

"Buford, what's the matter with you?" Ginger asked. "You look like you're about to be exposed for a fraud or something."

"Nope. No, nothing of that sorts, I can assure you of that."

"Are you sure..." Adyson asked, still skeptical. "What's in the duffel bag?"

"My what?"

"The duffel bag. You have a duffel bag with you. What's up with that?"

"Oh, this? Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing. It's just an empty duffel bag!"

"Really? Then open it."

Buford started sweating under the pressure. "Uh, I-I don't want to."

"Then we have to assume that you're lying!"

"Fine! You asked for this!" He opened his duffel bag, and took out every stink bomb he had in his duffel bag. "Stink bombs away!" He shouted, which prompted everyone at the table to quickly duck underneath. As for everyone else in the building, they simply ran around in circles, as if their lives were in any actual danger. "See? You can't outsmart me! In just a few seconds, these bad boys will go off, covering you all in a blaze of stink, leaving me the ultimate winner!"

"Buford, you idiot!" Adyson shouted from underneath the table. "If you don't wanna get hit with stink, then get outta here!"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Buford, just how dumb are you?"

"Just because you are the wielder of the stink bombs does not mean you are immune to their effects!" Baljeet hastily explained to Buford, who slowly, but surely, got the message.

"Wait, so you mean..."

"Yes, you moron! You are going to be blasted with stink as well!"

"And you will have wasted your time and our time for nothing!" Irving added.

"Not if I get outta here before that!" Buford turned quickly towards the exit in an attempt to escape the wrath of his ingenious plan. Unfortunately, before he even took a step, the bombs went off, and instantly, all of the kids were covered in a stench so horrific, so vile, so repulsive, it made skunks smell like liquid soap. Everyone else in the building started making their way hastily towards the door before the stench could reach them, leaving the kids in a pool of Buford's own muck. "Well, that didn't go the way I hoped it would."

"Buford!" They all screamed simultaneously at him.

"What? It didn't go as I planned. You saw it yourself!"

"How could you do this?" Adyson shouted. "We were all serious when we said we were calling off the prank war, we meant it. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that you girls were tricking me and that I would have the last laugh. I guess that didn't really go over that well, huh?"

"What gave you that idea?" Baljeet sarcastically shouted.

"Ugh, thanks a lot, Buford! I'll have to run myself through the wash just to get the stink out!" Irving commented.

"Guys, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"Here's an idea!" They all stood up and started making their way out the door. "Next time you want to play a prank war with someone, make sure others are playing with you-"

"Excuse me, children!" The shop owner, a tall, somewhat angry man, said as he walked into the scene. "You have failed to pay me for your frozen yogurt! I do not care how badly you were pranked by this child, you must pay!"

"Um, yeah, a-about that-"

"I got this." Buford reached into his pocket and pulled out loose change, enough to pay for all of their frozen yogurts. "Here you go, pal."

"Thanks. I think." The manager mumbled under his breath and turned around to leave them alone. Buford turned back to them.

"Just consider that a gesture of good will. Sorry, guys. I guess I let my over-competitive ego get the better of me again. But, look on the bright side. The stench isn't that bad. All it needs is a good shower and you'll be back to your normal selves. Come on. Let's go home."

Back at home, Phineas and Isabella were still in each other's company. After a brief nap, the two had awakened and resumed watching television, still relaxed as ever. Linda came into the room to find the two lovebirds happy and relaxed, surfing channels. "Well, look at you two. You are such a cute couple." She joked. They both took it with a laugh.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Where's Ferb at?"

"Probably still out with the others. Today's our annual "end of summer" prank war."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot you two still do that. So, why aren't you guys playing?"

"We were the first ones knocked out." Isabella responded, with a hint of disappointment.

"Aw, I'm sorry."

"That's alright, Mom." Phineas jumped back in. "I've been perfectly content with just sitting here with Isabella."

"We took a nap earlier, and he hugged me the entire time. He is the sweetest boy in the world." She leaned in and hugged him tightly and kissed him. Phineas giggled.

"Well, I'm just glad you two are happy-" Before Linda could finish her sentence, the front door opened, and Ferb walked in, still covered in the horrible stench Buford's stink bombs had produced. "Ferb, honey, what happened to you?"

"And why do you smell like a sewer?" Phineas quickly asked, as Ferb made his way to the stairs.

"I'd rather not talk about it." Was all he said as he trudged up the stairs to the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower to remove the stench from him. Phineas, Isabella, and Linda stayed quiet for a moment before Phineas spoke again.

"Well, it looks like Ferb had fun today."

* * *

Meanwhile, down underground a few hundred feet, the O.W.C.A. was in the middle of its own crisis. Dr. Doofenshmirtz's carelessness in planning the destruction of the O.W.C.A. caused not only for Perry & himself to become trapped, but for everybody else in the building to become trapped underground, and that's not even the worse part. The worst of it is that the building was so damaged by Doofenshmirtz's newest -inator that it completely collapsed, trapping everyone, from the agents to Monogram & Carl, underneath the rubble, while underground.

"Well, this is just great!" Monogram shouted, removing some large debris off of him & Carl. "Thanks to the brilliant & oh so clear Dr. Doofenshmirtz-" He said sarcastically. "We are now all trapped here underground with no way to get out."

"Relax yourself, _Francis_." Doofenshmirtz responded back cleverly, as he lifted some debris off of himself. "I could use my Jackhammer-inator to make a tunnel that leads back to the surface world."

"Uh huh. Isn't _that_ your Jackhammer thingy?" Monogram pointed to behind him, revealing a very broken beyond repair Jackhammer-inator. Doofenshmirtz chuckled weakly.

"W-Where did that come from?" He tried to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but Monogram wasn't in the mood for jokes at the moment. "Well, I guess whoever made that thing wasn't very good at building it, huh?" He quickly turned around and bolted through the tunnel in an effort to get away from him. Monogram quickly chased after him in a fit of rage.

"Get back here, Doofenshmirtz! If Agent P doesn't tear you to shreds, _I_ will!"

**End of Episode 50!**

**Sorry it took so long to update. I really struggled to write it. But here you go. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Next Time: ****A mother/daughter day out for Linda and Candace turns into a breakthrough for the latter as old, lingering feelings come up about her brothers. Meanwhile, seeing Candace distressed, Phineas & Ferb elect to do something nice for her. Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's attempts to lower his blood pressure backfire when Perry interferes.**


	62. 51: Boiling Point

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 51: Boiling Point**

**Episode Summary: ****************A mother/daughter day out for Linda and Candace turns into a breakthrough for the latter as old, lingering feelings come up about her brothers. Meanwhile, seeing Candace distressed, Phineas & Ferb elect to do something nice for her. Plus, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's attempts to lower his blood pressure backfire when Perry interferes.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! I also do not own any _Looney Tunes_ characters that may be reference in this episode. And I say that because there will be.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another late-summer day in Danville was upon the Tri-State Area. The Flynn-Fletcher family were already awake and eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"So boys, summer's almost over." Linda reminded Phineas & Ferb. "What are you guys going to do to savor these last couple of weeks?"

"We don't know yet." Phineas responded on behalf of Ferb. "We've got a lot of ideas but we don't know where to begin. But don't worry. We'll think of something. What about you guys?"

"Well, Candace and I are going to go out for a mother/daughter day. It'll be our first one since last summer, back when she was...well, you know."

"Yeah, we know, Mom." Candace interrupted, slightly bitter over her mother having mentioned the previous summer at all.

"It's going to be a lot of fun. We're going to go see an art exhibit, then we're going to go shopping at the mall, and then we'll wrap it up with lunch out. Doesn't that sound like fun, Candace?"

"Yeah, sure. It sounds like a lot of fun."

"Well, then you better get on upstairs and get ready. We're leaving in a half hour." Linda said to her daughter; Candace stood up, washed her dish out, and ran upstairs to get herself ready for her day out with Linda. Phineas & Ferb followed suit, only they were going upstairs to get started on their day's project. They grabbed one of their blueprints out of their room and started making their way for the front door.

Meanwhile, in Candace's room, she was getting ready for her mother/daughter day out with Linda when her cell phone rang. It was Stacy on the other line. "Hello?"

"_Hey, Candace. My mom's making me go to another one of those seminars that will absolutely bore me to death. I need you to be my witness so my mom doesn't find out I fell asleep at a seminar again."_

"Sorry, Stace. I wish I could, but I'm spending the day out with my Mom." Candace responded in a rather flat tone.

"_You don't sound too excited about it."_

"That's because every time I've tried to have a nice, normal day out with my Mom, I would always get so obsessed with trying to bust Phineas & Ferb that I would wind up not having any fun at all."

_"That was last year, Candace. You're a changed woman now."_

"I know, I know. But what if I relapse? It's possible, you know. I just don't want to repeat last year again. It was hard enough on me, but I don't want to put my family through that kind of stress again." Little did Candace know that behind her closed bedroom door, Phineas & Ferb were attentively listening in on her conversation with Stacy. "Last time the issue of me busting Phineas & Ferb came up, Phineas completely broke down! He's such a good little brother, and so is Ferb, and I don't want to hurt them again. They would do anything to make me happy, even if it would annoy me."

"_Don't worry, Candace. I'm sure you'll be fine. Just don't think about them and focus on having fun."_

"OK, if you say so."

Meanwhile, right outside Candace's door, Phineas couldn't help but begin to feel emotional. Before Candace came home from military school, Phineas would often blame himself for Candace's usual anxiety episodes. Even though those days were long gone, and his rift with Candace was long solved, he still had moments where he would get himself upset reminiscing over those times. "Wow, Ferb. Candace sure sounds upset." He said to Ferb.

"I don't think it's anything we have to worry about." Ferb assured him. "It's probably just a "teenage crisis" she's going through, like a blemish or a fashion disaster, or something of those sorts."

"I hope you're right. If I ever did something to make Candace mad at us again, I'd never forgive myself. You know what? Just to show her that I care, I wanna do something nice for her. Just something nice that'll show her that we care. But, then again, I know you really wanted to build that holographic appearance changer today."

"Who says we can't do both?"

"Really? You mean it?" Ferb nodded. "Aw, thanks Ferb." He wrapped an arm around his brother. "This really means a lot to me. Come on. Let's get started! Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

For the semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action, no time was wasted as he hastily made his way down to his secret lair to be briefed on his mission. "Good morning, Agent P." His boss spoke on the other side. "We've just received word that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has returned to his evil lair after a visit to his doctor's office. With all of the medications doctors have access to these days, there's no telling what kind of evil he has planned for the Tri-State Area. I want you to snoop out whatever evil plan he has, and put a stop to it." Perry saluted his boss and quickly ran out.

"Sir, have you ever considered the possibility that Doofenshmirtz might have just gone to the doctor's office for a routine check-up?" Carl, off-screen, implied.

"Yes, of course I have, Carl! But I'm trying to make coming into work more exciting for my agents. Like I'm actually going to just say to them "Hey, your nemesis came back from the doctor's office with a bag full of medicines. It was only for a routine check-up, but please go and beat the stuffing out of him anyway". I doubt my agents would actually go for it."

"Peter the Panda went for it the other day."

"Yes, but he's a Panda. They have the intelligence level of a peanut."

* * *

Candace and Linda got themselves into the car and drove off into the city. This time around, though, Candace opted to sit in the back seat instead of up in the front where she usually sits when Linda is driving. "Candace, honey, don't you want to sit up here?" She asked her daughter.

"No, Mom." Candace responded, her tone of voice not nearly as optimistic as it had been recently. "I'd rather sit back here today."

"How come?"

"I just feel like it, OK?"

"Alright, Candace. No need to get upset with me." Linda immediately figured out that there was something off about Candace and that she wasn't acting like herself. But, she convinced herself that it was just a matter of wanting to get out of the house for a while. So, she drove off and put Candace's small outburst out of her mind.

During the car ride, Candace spent most of her time staring out the window, reminiscing on how the summer was going for her. She reminisced how she got into a huge argument with her ex-boyfriend, Jeremy, and how her resentment towards him almost got her to revert back to her old habits. She even remembered the time where she almost lost the love and trust of her two brothers because of her "busting" obsession. She then thought back to the previous summer and her endless attempts to show her mother what they were up to, the lack of common sense and sensitivity she would show towards it, not caring what her brothers would actually think.

All of those memories began to creep their way back into her mind. All she wanted to do was forget about them and simply move on. She spent half of the summer in a military school, just to get over her obsession, and she promised herself that after her experience, she would never, ever, ever become obsessed again.

"Candace, you're awfully quiet back there." Linda noted as they approached their destination. "Are you sure everything is alright?"

Candace's head popped back up front when her mother asked her that question. Then her train of thought shifted towards her mother, and the lingering thoughts of all those times she tried and failed to show her mother the inventions Phineas and Ferb made began crawling back. Throughout her fruitless attempts, she held a small piece of resentment towards her, because she seemed to brush it off like it was no big deal, not truly understanding the hurt and anger Candace felt.

With each failure, Candace's resentment towards her mother grew stronger, until finally, she just couldn't stand the very sight of her. When the day finally came that Linda found out about all of Phineas and Ferb's summer adventures, she had reached her boiling point, and was ready to make her mother suffer for all the times she had failed to believe her about it. To this very day, Candace still held a tiny sliver of resentment to Linda, but her overwhelming guilt towards the way she spent her summer days trying to bust her brothers, wasting her life away, put those thoughts to the back of her mind.

"Candace?" Linda spoke again, snapping Candace out of her train of thought. "Are you OK?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I-I'm fine, Mom."

"You're not usually this quiet."

"Well, there's a first for everything, right?"

"I guess. I'm just so used to you shouting and screaming about something Phineas and Ferb have done." Linda joked, remembering the events of the previous year. Unfortunately, Candace was not in the mood for jokes, especially those revolving around her or her brothers. "You know, I remember way back when you used to go crazy over your brother's antics, even if they were out of the ordinary. You would always run up to me, yelling "Mom! Mom! Mom!" and then try to get me to see what they're doing and I would never see them." Candace's anger began growing as Mom aimlessly recapped her "shining moments". "You were always so cute when you were crazy."

"Could you just drop that OK?" Candace shouted, finally. Linda was taken aback and turned to face her daughter.

"Candace, what is the matter with you?"

"Nothing, Mom. But would you please just stop talking about last summer, please?"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"In fact, could you just not talk at all, Mom? I would really like it if I didn't have to listen to your voice for the car ride. OK?"

Linda slowly turned her head back to the road. "OK, Candace, if that's what you want. Sorry I upset you..." She couldn't quite figure out why her daughter was acting grumpy; she could not figure out that her constantly bringing out the past was affecting Candace emotionally. All she could do was drive the car and hope that their day would be a fun one.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Perry had just arrived at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. He entered by carving a hole in one of the windows using a laser pen, and broke it to see his nemesis sitting in a chair with what appeared to be a blood pressure machine beside him.

"Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus." He said, waving to him. "I'm so glad you could make it. I-I'm sure you've noticed me just sitting here with a machine hooked up to my arm." He explained as Perry approached him. "Well, see, earlier today, I had a routine check-up with my doctor, and guess what? I came back with a clean bill of health...except for the fact that my blood pressure was a little high. My doctor says it's attributed to my constant "fantasies about fighting a rogue platypus"." He chortled. "I don't know what world he lives in, but...anywho, he prescribed me some pills that I have to take every six hours so I can lower my blood pressure - GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" He looked at his monitor to see his blood pressure results, and they were even worse than they had been before. "My blood pressure's even higher than before!"

Doofenshmirtz ripped the machine strap off of his arm and stood up. "You know that chronic high blood pressure is a condition known as "hypertension", and apparently, that's not good for you. You know, my doctor also said that my high blood pressure may be in part to my...*ahem*, anger issues. I seem to have them, and they're getting worse. I try to control them when I'm fighting you, but it's not easy. I mean, just the other day, a baby was crying in a restaurant, and I was trying to eat dinner, and then, before I knew it, I-I guess I just lost it. I don't even remember what I said to him, but I remember being kicked out. Oh, it was horrible."

"And then there was yesterday. I was trying to watch my favorite show "Handi-Quacks" and Charlene just kept calling me and calling me on my cell phone about stuff. I don't remember what it was about. All I remember is that I finally just screamed at her after the fourth call. I was just so frustrated, so sick of it. I'll never live it down."

"So, I decided to take an extra step in preserving my blood pressure." There was a loud knock at the door. "And that must be it now." He walked to his front door. "I hired somebody from the internet to personally help me control my anger issues and, subsequently, lower my blood pressure. Perry the Platypus, I would like to introduce to you..." He took out a small piece of paper and read a name aloud. "Ya-ji-ro-be Sam...?" He seemed rather confused, as he couldn't recognize his own handwriting.

Doofenshmirtz opened the door, revealing a very small man with a giant cowboy hat on his head, a long red beard, big nose, and a cowboy outfit. Upon hearing his name being horribly pronounced by Doofenshmirtz, he dropped his briefcase and eyed him angrily.

"That's Yosemite Sam to you, partner!" He yelled. "If you're going to address me, you will pronounce my name correctly!" He picked up his briefcase and stormed inside.

"Sheesh, for an expert on anger issues, he sure seems to have a lot of it." Doofenshmirtz muttered to himself, closing the door behind him.

"Now, I understand you have some quote-unquote "anger issues", is tha' right?" Yosemite Sam spoke again.

"Yes, yes I do. I answered your ad on Craigslist." Doofenshmirtz took out another piece of paper, revealing it to be an internet advertisement from Yosemite Sam. Unfortunately, this one did not foretell one of "relieving anger issues". Instead, it foretold one of "utilizing anger issues for one's gain".

"So, where do we start?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, "What do you want to do with your anger first"?"

"What do I - well, I want to get rid of it."

Yosemite Sam raised an eyebrow. "Beg pardon, son?"

"I want to get rid of my anger issues. What part of that don't you..."

"You don't get it, do you? Did you even read my ad?"

"Of course I did." He got it out and read it again, silently to himself. But once he read the entire thing, he realized what he was referring to. "Oh. Oh, I get it now. You're not - You're not an expert at "anger management", are you?"

""Anger management"? No. Anger? Heck yeah, I am! I'm like the Zeus of anger!"

"What? But then, that's not going to help me. See, I'm trying to control my anger so I can control my blood pressure."

"Well, then you've called the wrong guy for the job. My specialty is to teach people to utilize their anger to get where they want to in life, not "control it", like you want, you yeller-belly."

"But...But what am I supposed to do then? I called you here to help me control my anger!"

"Well, you made the wrong call, bub! Let me tell you a little something about myself. I've had anger problems my entire life, even when I was a baby. I'll even show you what I mean..." He clapped his hands together and changed the scenery to that of a perky, quick music video, starring himself. Music started playing up in the background as Yosemite Sam found himself in a diaper with attractive, tall backup singers ready at his disposal.

**_I had a toy train when I was young_**  
**_but a wheel fell off and it wouldn't run._**  
**_And Oooooohh!_**  
**_I Blew my Stack!_**  
**_(Yosemite Sam)_**

The scene quickly changed to one of an elementary school, with Yosemite Sam in a school uniform.

**_Daddy sent me to school but things got wierd_**  
**_When the kids made fun of my long red beard._**  
**_And Oooooohh!_**  
**_I Blew my Stack!_**  
**_(Kablamatie-Blam)_**

Then the scene changed to one of a ship on a sea.

**_The merchant marine kept my temper at bay._**  
**_Until a dolphin looked at me the wrong way._**  
**_And Oooooohh!_**  
**_I Blew my Stack!_**  
**_(Better watch it dolphin)_**

After the dolphin was captured by Yosemite Sam, they were transported to a library.

**_So I worked at the library peaceful place._**  
**_But people kept turning their books in late._**  
**_And Oooooohh!_**  
**_I Blew my Stack!_**  
**_(You're gonna break his brains again)_**

**_Well, I try to stay calm cool as ice._**  
_**But somebody says something just not nice.**_  
_**Deep inside I just don't feel right.**_  
_**I'm like a walking stick of lit-up dynamite.**_  
_**I'm about to blow, you better go!**_  
_**You're about to guest star on the "Blow My Stack Show" Show, Show!**_

Soon, Perry and Doofenshmirtz found themselves transported to an anger management class with several acquaintances, including Sam.

**___Anger management class says count to 10._  
_But I only get to three and then..._  
_Guess What?_  
_I Blow my Stack!_  
_(He didn't get to 10)_**

Sam hastily turned to his backup singers, and started getting into an argument with them.  
**_  
__Hey! Quit rubbing it in!_  
_(Sorry Sam, that's not half-bad)_  
_It's like you're trying to get me to blow my stack!_  
_(Maybe that's the plan)_  
_Ooohh I'm a warning you!_  
_(He's gonna go ka-blam!)_  
_Oooooohh!_**

And then, just like that, Yosemite Sam "blew his stack" again, and this time, the force was enough to blow the three of them back to Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, only this time, with a hole in his wall, obviously caused by Sam losing his cool.

"You see now?"

"I...think so. Yeah, I get it."

"You weren't paying attention to the lyrics, were you?"

"No, I was too busy with the constant changing background."

"It's called "special effects, you idjit!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb were busy trying to decide what nice thing they could do for Candace, when Isabella stepped into the backyard to greet them.

"Hi guys!" She said cheerfully as she skipped to Phineas and greeted him a hug and a kiss. "Hi, cutie-cake! What'cha doin'?"

"Hi Isabella!" Phineas cheerfully replied back; being able to hug and kiss the girl of his dreams always made him feel better, even if it was just a little bit. "Ferb and I noticed that Candace has been a little bit grumpy today, so we want to do something nice for her."

"Does it involve you two?"

"No, but still, I feel bad whenever Candace feels bad, so I wanna do something nice just to show that I care. Would you help us?"

"Of course I will, Phineas. If it means making you happy, I'll always put myself up to help you." She leaned in and kissed him. "So, what are you guys going to do?"

"We're not sure yet."

"Well, when my mom and I first moved in, I remember that I was very upset because I had left before some very close friends of mine. So, to cheer me up, my mom and I redecorated my room."

"Hey, that's a great idea! We could redecorate Candace's room!"

"Are you sure she would like it? Most teenage girls don't like it when little brothers go into their rooms. No offense."

"I know, but we'd be doing something nice for her. I'm sure once we see what we're doing, she'll love it. OK, gang, let's get to work!"

So the three kids gathered up supplies and started heading up to Candace's room to get started with polishing it up. Phineas took out a blueprint with several ideas written down concerning how they were going to fix up Candace's room. "I have an idea. How about we fix Candace's closet, so she has an easier time picking up a wardrobe."

"That sounds like a good idea. Then, maybe we can repaint the walls so they don't look so old and crusty."

"Good idea. I'm sure Candace will love it. Let's get to work, then."

They all got to work immediately on fixing up Candace's room. Phineas rearranged Candace's closet and installed a computer device that would allow her to select whatever wardrobe she wants to wear on a particular day, and she would never have to step foot into her closet. Isabella took to the walls and painted over them with a fresh coat of bright pink, while making sure to retain the quality of the posters on the wall, which ranged from The Paisley Sideburn Brothers, Big Time Rush, and Ducky Mo-Mo. Ferb cleaned up all of Candace's dressers, rearranging the items on them so they would look neat and give her more room, and replaced the blankets on her bed with fresh, new, pink blankets.

The entire process itself took roughly an hour and a half, during which, Lawrence came up to find Phineas and Ferb and see what they wanted for lunch. "Boys, are you in here?" He asked as he opened the door to find the boys and Isabella hard at work. "What on earth are you all doing in here?"

"We're refurbishing up Candace's room." Phineas told his dad as he and the other two turned around to face him. They appeared visibly fatigued from the work they put in, with their hair ruffled in several places and their clothes rather dirty. "What do you think so far?"

Lawrence stepped in and immediately observed the changes made thus far. "Ooh, it looks...it looks brand new." He noticed the repainted walls and the tidied-up dressers & bed. "You three did this yourselves?"

"Yep. We've been hard at work for the past hour and a half, and we're almost done here. Check out what we did with the closet."

Lawrence turned to the closet to see their work. "Ooh, what's this here?"

"We fixed it up so Candace can digitally select her wardrobe. Try it out."

He fiddled around with the keyboard and then, suddenly, a random wardrobe popped out. "Well, I must say, I'm impressed with this, and I'm sure your sister will love it, too. Now, I fancy that you three must be exhausted. How's about you freshen up and I make you all a nice, hot lunch. Isabella, you can join us, if you'd like. I'm sure your mother would be fine with it."

"Really? Well, I'll ask my mom, and if she says it's OK, then I'll be right over."

"Well, that's perfect, then." Phineas piped up. "Just let us finish up here and then we'll be down for lunch."

"Just make sure you freshen up first, alright, chaps?" With that, Lawrence left the room.

"I'm gonna head home so I can get cleaned up." Isabella said, as she leaned in and hugged Phineas. "I'll see you guys soon, OK?"

"Don't keep me waiting, Isabella." Phineas joked with a chuckle.

"Believe me, I won't." She responded rather flirtatiously as she ran out of the room and made her way out of the house.

* * *

As for Linda & Candace, they had arrived at a fancy restaurant (which, coincidentally, would be the very restaurant Lawrence, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Vivian would end up later one), their second stop on their mother/daughter day out. Previously, they made a stop at the carnival, and, despite Linda's attempts to get Candace to enjoy herself at the carnival and play the many games they had, Candace was hesitant to do so, and limited herself to eating cotton candy and taking a funny photo with her mother.

They arrived at the restaurant with Linda hoping that she could get her daughter to cheer up, or at least speak up. Candace was steadily silent throughout the entire day, even as they were given their table.

"So, Candace, you hungry?" Linda asked, hoping to start up a conversation. Candace looked up from her menu.

"Yeah, sure. Guess that cotton candy wasn't enough for me." She said quickly before returning her attention to the menu.

"Uh-huh." Linda sighed, her hopes of getting a conversation started having failed. At that moment, a waitress came along.

"Good afternoon, ladies." She said cheerfully. "Are we ready to order a beverage?" Both Linda and Candace nodded. "Alright, what'll you have?"

"We'll have two lemonades, please." Linda said, as the waitress took their order and went away. Linda chuckled, remembering something. "You know, Candace, this kinda reminds me of the day when Phineas and Ferb opened up their "lemonade stand"." She laughed again, but only by herself. Candace looked up, and her anger began growing again. "It's weird. That's one of the few things they did that you didn't try to tell me about. I guess it may have just clicked in for you that a lemonade stand, or a lemonade franchise, as I have recently learned they did, was something not worth getting worked up about, right?"

The images of that day came back to her mind. It wasn't just the day Phineas & Ferb created a lemonade franchise. It was also the day Candace nearly lost her friendship with Stacy. The latter opened up about her disdain concerning Candace's repeated attempts and bust her brothers, and threatened to walk out on her if she picked them over her again. Sadly, Candace _did_ pick the boys over her, and their friendship ended abruptly, and the ensuring events, where she realized (or thought she realized) that their lemonade stand was just a lemonade stand, put such a rift into her that, overcome with guilt, she apologized to Stacy and won her back. She vowed to never forget that day, especially now with her obsession gone for good.

But, with each event Linda brought up, it was becoming much more difficult for Candace to resist the urges. Linda honestly believed that she was simply making small talk with her daughter. Little did she know that she was actually making things worse.

"I mean, you must've felt really stupid when you realized that you lost your temper on your brothers and broke your friendship with Stacy over a simple lemonade stand. I know I would have. It seems like the more you failed, the more resentment you felt towards those around you, including me. Wow, doesn't that sound stupid."

"No, Mom. It kinda doesn't." Candace said angrily. "But you know what _does_ sound stupid?"

"What, honey?"

"You do!" She shouted, letting her frustrations and rage out at her mother. She stood up in her seats and glared at her mother.

"Me? What's that supposed to-"

"I think you do know, Mom! The way you've been constantly nagging me about last summer, about how I used to obsess over busting Phineas and Ferb, the way I used to annoy you and everyone else about it. Well, let me tell you something! Next time you want to criticize me, try putting yourself in my shoes! Try being the sister of two prodigies and having to be responsible for them! Don't you get it yet?"

"Uh, no Candace, I don't think I do."

"Well, that just says it all!" Candace scoffed, ashamed of her mother, and ran out of the booth and towards the restroom, hiding her tears from her. Although Linda couldn't quite make out why her daughter was in distress, she could make out that she was in distress, and followed her, only to find her hanging her head over a sink, crying.

"Candace...are you OK, sweetheart?" She asked as she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Candace turned to face her mother, her eyes red from the crying.

"No, no I'm not." She sniffled back tears.

"Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you, sweetie?"

"Well, y-you kept mentioning all those things Phineas and Ferb did, and you kept mentioning all of my fruitless attempts to show them to you, and...and you just got me so mad at you. And you just didn't seem to care!"

"Honey, I didn't understand that this was still bothering you."

"It wasn't until you opened your mouth and brought it up!" Candace tried so very hard to keep herself from losing it, but her frustration, her anxiety, and her anger were all overwhelming her. "I was perfectly fine and perfectly willing to just let Phineas & Ferb do what they do best. That's why I tried to put it out of my mind and just forget about it. I figured I would be just fine if I never thought about it again, but now that you've brought it up, I-I..."

"What, Candace?"

"I...I'm starting to feel those urges come up again. I-I'm starting to feel like I need to bust Phineas & Ferb to prove to you that I'm a responsible person!"

"So, this is what it's always been about?" Linda placed another hand on her shoulder. "All of those attempts to bust Phineas & Ferb were just to prove to me that you were a responsible young lady?"

"Well, i-it started out that way. But every time you failed to see it, I started...I started to grow angry at them. I felt like it was their fault and that they were doing it to mess with me. I started hating them with every fiber of my being. And I...I almost lost them!" By now, she had completely broken out with tears. "I don't want to lose their love and trust again! And I don't want to disappoint you!"

Candace reached out and hugged her mother, filled with regret, guilt, and hurt. Linda did not hesitate in return the affection, finally having a better understanding of why her daughter did what she did and why she felt the way she felt.

"Candace, honey..." She began, calming Candace down. "Listen, I'm sorry if I'm responsible for the way you felt when it came to your brothers. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you were crazy or that I didn't really love you the way I love Phineas and Ferb."

"Mom, you don't have to apologize."

"Yes I do. And most importantly, I'm sorry for bringing up those hard times and bringing up those horrible memories for you."

Candace smiled, sniffling back more tears. "That's OK, Mom. I'm sorry I yelled at you like that."

"That's quite alright, Candace." The two hugged again, now even closer than ever. "We really should do this again sometime."

"Yeah. I have to admit, Mom, even though I didn't show it, I kinda had fun."

"Glad to hear it, Candace. Come on, let's go have some lunch. You must be starving."

"You have no idea, Mom. You have no idea."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had his hands full with his newest "assistant", Yosemite Sam. After having a bit of a tiff with him over what he was advertising, he settled down and instead of fighting him, he decided to hear what Sam had to offer.

"Alright, you skinny-legged yeller-belly." Sam barked. "If you want to get ahead in life and not just sit back and be a pathetic loser like you already are, then you need to let yourself be heard."

"OK."

"And I'm not just talkin' about "Starting a rally for stem cell research" or any of that garbage. When I say "be heard", I mean you have to have a loud voice! A loud and tough voice!"

"I-I can do that. I can be loud."

"Yeah, but you sound like a screeching little girl who just witnessed a robbery!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!" Norm jumped in off-screen.

"Do not, Norm."

"Yeah, you do, partner." Sam jumped in again. "I need to toughen you up and give you a more manly voice. OK, repeat after me."

"After me."

"No, not yet, you moron!"

"No, not yet, you moron!"

"Will you stop it and let me explain?"

"Will you stop it and let me explain?" Every time Doofenshmirtz repeated what Yosemite Sam was saying, he would do so in an even more annoying voice.

"You are the biggest and most reckless imbecile I have ever met!"

"You are the biggest and most reckless imbecile I have ever met." Doofenshmirtz giggled. "H-How am I doing so far?"

Yosemite Sam growled, but managed to keep his temper in line. "I'm going to go get a beverage before I blow my stack." He turned and headed towards the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. While Yosemite Sam was in the kitchen, he stumbled upon a newspaper that was taped onto the refrigerator. The article spoke about a well-known scientist who claimed to have proof about the moon being made out of cheese. "Humph! Look at this garbage. Mad scientists who believe that the moon is made out of cheese. I pity the moron who actually believes that-"

But before he could finish his sentence, he sensed something. He turned around and saw Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who had followed him, holding several signs, some saying "Moon made of cheese!" and others saying "scientists not crazy, moon actually edible." The sight was very disturbing for Sam, and his patience grew even thinner for him. "You, sir, are pathetic."

"Hey, that's not very nice."

"If case your tiny, idjit brain hasn't figured it out yet, I'm not a very nice person! I'm a rootin', tootin', top-o'-the-line cowboy guy...thing. Anyway, you're just wasting my time! If you're not going to put your anger out there and use it for your own, beneficial gains, then I'm a-leavin'!" And with that, Sam stormed out of the kitchen and grabbed his briefcase, with the hopes of getting out of Doofenshmirtz's sight before he "blew his stack".

"Wait, wait!" Doofenshmirtz called, running after him and blocking the door. "You can't leave!"

"Why not? You said it yourself. I ain't a-qualified to deal with your...er, "special issues"."

"H-Hey, wait a minute! Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I don't know, partner. It never crossed my mind that you could actually think."

"Hey!"

"That's it, I'm outta here! Step aside, vermin!" And with that, he pushed Doofenshmirtz aside and exited the room, and then, the building, leaving Doofenshmirtz & Perry behind and never looking back.

* * *

The sun was setting, and Linda & Candace were returning home from their day out. They parked the car and headed inside to find Lawrence, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella sitting on the couch and watching TV.

"Hey, look who's home!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Hi, guys." Linda responded. "How were you guys today?"

"We were great! In fact, we've got a surprise for Candace!"

"A surprise? For me?" Candace asked.

"Yeah. Come on. We'll show you."

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella stood up and led Candace upstairs to her room. They opened the door and led Candace inside. Immediately, she didn't notice anything, but upon closer inspection, she saw that her walls were completely repainted, her dressers & bed were straightened up, and that her entire room looked completely redesigned. "Wow...my room looks...amazing!"

"We thought you would think that." Phineas responded.

"Wait, so you three did all of this?" She turned to face them.

"Yep. And it only took us an hour and a half."

"But that's not even the best part." Ferb added as Isabella walked over to the closet.

"We fixed up your closet so now you can choose your wardrobe digitally." Isabella demonstrated by playing around with the keyboard that they installed. In less than 10 seconds, a totally random wardrobe (which turned out to be Candace's traditional wear, a red shirt & white skirt) popped out of the closet for her.

"No way! That did _not_ just happen!" Candace shouted, obviously pleasantly surprised.

"Oh, it did."

"Wow, guys. I-I don't know what to say. But," She turned to Phineas & Ferb. "Why would you go through so much trouble for me?"

"Well, I saw that you seemed a bit distressed this morning, so I thought we would do this nice thing in order to make you feel better."

"You did this...just to make me feel better?" She asked again, he nodded. Candace smiled and knelled down to give both Phineas & Ferb a hug. Soon, Isabella joined in as well. "You guys are amazing! I don't know how I could ever thank you for this."

"It's no problem, Candace." Phineas said again. Candace looked down at Phineas and could see that he was genuinely happen for her. It was then that she decided she wanted to talk to Phineas alone.

"Hey Ferb, Isabella, would you guys give me a minute alone with Phineas?" She asked them. They nodded and left the room to give them time alone. She closed the door as they left and then turned back to her brother. He appeared confused as she walked back up to him, picked him up, and hugged him tightly. She walked over to her bed and placed him down on it.

"What's the matter, Candace?"

"Phineas, I just wanted to say...thank you. Thank you for everything."

"Um, you're...welcome? Wait, I don't understand."

"Phineas, you sacrificed your own time just to make me happy. You redecorated my entire room because you thought I was upset about something."

"Of course, Candace. You're my sister and I love you very much."

"Well, you're my little brother. And you could never understand just how much you mean to me." She hugged him again, and kissed him. "You are the most special little brother I could ever ask for. You're willing to do anything just to please everyone."

"You're my sister. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do."

"Not necessarily. Sure, I was upset, but I wasn't really upset with you or Ferb. So, you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to. It was just my way of showing you what you mean to me, and maybe saying 'I'm sorry' if you were still mad at me."

"Phineas..." She tussled his hair and brought him closer to her. "You've got to stop stressing out about everyone around you. If you see Mom or Dad upset, that doesn't mean you have to just jump in and try to make things better for them. It's not your job as a kid to do that. You should be worrying about how you're going to enjoy your summer."

"I know that, Candace. I just...I just don't want anybody to be mad at me. Not you, not Mom or Dad, not Ferb, not Isabella..." Phineas started to feel his emotions get the better of him. He took in some deep breaths to avoid crying. It was at that moment that Isabella came back into the room, sensing that Phineas was getting upset. She ran up to the bed, jumped on, and mobbed him with a hug and a kiss. "Aw, what's this for?"

"I don't know. But you know how I feel about you when you get upset."

"Phineas, we all love you, and I truly appreciate what you tried to do for me. But, do me a favor. Next time you see me get a little distressed about something, just try and let it go, and not worry about it. OK?"

"I'll try. But you know me. I like to please people."

"And we all love you for that." She picked him up again, kissed him, and then helped him & Isabella out of the house. Phineas left the room, but before Isabella could, Candace grabbed her shoulder and whispered something to her. "You better not break my little brother's heart again. Because if I ever catch him with you crying his eyes out, I will make sure you never have another happy moment in your life _ever again_! Do you understand me?" Isabella, almost terrified of Candace's threat, but understanding where it was coming from, nodded calmly. Candace then, feeling a bit bad about the threat, hugged her for it. "I love you, Isabella."

"I love you too, Candace." She responded back as Candace closed the door. Isabella turned to Phineas.

"Well, Phineas, I think it's time for bed." She said to him. "And I suggest you get a head start on it."

"Head start? Why?" He asked, clearly confused towards Isabella's gestures.

"Because...I'm feeling in the mood tonight, if you know what I mean." She responded with a flirtatious attitude. "And you know me. Once I set my sights after..." She reached out and gently squeezed his rear end, her smile growing wider. "this, I'm never gonna want to let it go or let it out of my sight. So, you better start running."

Phineas finally understand what she meant. But, instead of taking her advice and running, he stood there and laughed, with the full intention of enjoying every one of her advances. "Why would I want to do that? The fun's right here, isn't it?" He responded back, and rather cleverly. Isabella was impressed and flattered by his response, and as he started walking past her, she tapped his butt a couple of times, and purred like a kitty at him, while making various comments about it, which they both enjoyed. Then they both shared a laugh.

They changed into their pajamas and climbed into Phineas's bed. While Isabella was quick to get comfortable, Phineas took a little more time, and didn't fall asleep right away.

"Hey, Phineas, what's the matter?" She asked after a couple of quiet moments, where she tried to sleep and he didn't even close his eyes. In fact, when she tried to talk to him, he wouldn't even look at her. She knew she had to get his attention somehow, and quickly thought of a way. "Oh, I get it." She said again. "You're not going to sleep because you're afraid that I'll be offended by your snoring, aren't you? Yeesh, Phineas, we've been through this before. Your loud snoring doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I'm actually quite attracted to it. Heck, it's my favorite song! I have 11 hours of it as the first song on my iPod, for Pete's sake!"

In actuality, Phineas had heard everything Isabella said, and was secretly blushing madly, a combination of enjoyment and embarrassment. But, he pretended to have only heard half of what Isabella's said through his intense thought. So he turned to her with a rather confused look on his face. "Huh? What was that, Isabella?"

"Nevermind. I just wanted to get your attention." _I wasn't lying about the iPod, though. _"You looked like you were really thinking about something. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about Candace."

"Why? She said she liked what you and Ferb did with her room."

"I know that. It's just...I don't know. I guess sometimes I forget that I worry too much about her, and my parents. See, after my dad left, Mom & Candace were pretty broken up about it, and this was way before I met Ferb. So, I guess I kinda took on the role of the "man of the house"."

"But you were so young."

"I'm very passionate about my family, and I would do anything for them."

"Phineas, you are a very sweet boy, and a cute one, and obviously, you have an immense amount of care for everyone you love. But I think you worry a bit too much. It's just like the way you are with me sometimes. Instead of worrying about having to make me happy, just be yourself. I fell in love with the way you always act, so just act that way. I love you regardless."

"I know, and I love you too. I just...I just forget sometimes."

"How about we talk about this in the morning, if you still want to."

"OK."

Isabella leaned in and gave him a hug and a kiss. "Goodnight Phineas." She then turned to her side and said goodnight to Ferb.

"Goodnight Isabella." And soon Phineas did the same, and after that, both Phineas and Isabella settled down into the bed and prepared to go to sleep. But just before Phineas closed his eyes, he had to ask one more question to Isabella.

"So, Isabella...is my loud snoring at night _really_ the first song on your iPod? And your favorite?" He asked, with a chuckle. She immediately sat up; she had no idea at all that he had actually heard most of what she said earlier. "And how many hours did you say you had of it?"

"Um..." She struggled to find an answer. Although Phineas, up to this point, knew of most of Isabella's habits towards him and most of the things she did in order to carry out her urges concerning her physical attraction to him, it was still a surprise to him now and then to hear about some of the things she did or said. Finally, having given up on an answer and wanting to just drop the subject, she said "Night, Phineas!" quickly. Then, without warning, she reached her hand down and squeezed his butt cheek hard, and in a way that made Phineas tired.

Before Phineas could say anything else, he found himself growing extremely sleep, and soon enough, he collapsed onto the bed, and started snoring very loudly. Isabella giggled to herself as she basked in the snoring boy. "Only Phineas could make a sound as repulsive as snoring sound so beautiful and attractive." She said to herself. Then, she slowly got herself comfortable by snuggling as close to him as she could. Isabella wrapped her arms around his waist, grabbed both of his butt cheeks, and squeezed as hard as she could.

She kissed him passionately on the lips for a short time, and then allowed him to return to snoring, before closing her eyes herself, and allowing the sounds of the snoring to relax her into a deep sleep.

* * *

**During the Credits**

It was the dead of night, and Yosemite Sam, having come close to losing his temper with Doofenshmirtz, was walking down the street with no actual destination in mind. He kept on muttering to himself incoherently before he realized that there was a note sticking out of the briefcase. "Hey, what's this?" He asked himself as he pulled the note out of the case. "Dear Ya-mae-goo-chi Sam, I am sorry that I failed you. Just to let you know, I decided to keep your many books and pamphlets to see whether I could learn from them and control my blood pressure. Thank you again for trying; sorry it didn't work out. Hugs and tickles, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

Sam studied the note for a brief moment, and then, in a fit of rage, threw it on the ground and stomped on his briefcase several times. "I can't believe it! Of all the no-good...that moron can't even get my name right! I mean, I must've said it at least...like, six times, or something! You'd think he would get it by now, but NOOOOO! He's the biggest, dumbest, most incompetent...oh no!" He could feel his rage rising. "I think I'm gonna...blow my stack...GRRRRR!" And sure enough, he did.

This time, his "blowing stack" caused an explosion that affected and damaged everything around him within a 5-block radius. Luckily, there were no people around to witness him explode or be affected by it. But the explosion did result in Yosemite Sam ending up lying on his back on the cold, hard concrete.

From the Flynn-Fletcher home, Linda and Lawrence could hear clearly from their bed the explosion. "Lawrence, honey, what was that?" Linda asked, slightly taken back by it.

"Well, dear, I dare say, I think Yosemite Sam gone and blew his stack again." Lawrence responded, unaware that he was accurately correct.

"Well, good for him."

**_That's all, Folks!_**

**End of Episode 51!**

**A/N: I don't own anything from _The Looney Tunes_**

**Next Time: ****After Milly complains of having not been able to sleep for several days, Phineas & Ferb whip up a sleeping potion that is designed to help anybody get 8 hours, or more, of pure, uninterrupted sleep. But going to sleep is the easy part. Waking up is the hard part.**


	63. 52: Sleep Away

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 52: Sleep Away**

**Episode Summary: ************************After Milly complains of having not been able to sleep for several days, Phineas & Ferb whip up a sleeping potion that is designed to help anybody get 8 hours, or more, of pure, uninterrupted sleep. But going to sleep is the easy part. Waking up is the hard part. Meanwhile, Vanessa, against her father's wishes, goes to an all-night party with her boyfriend, Johnny, so Dr. Doofenshmirtz decides to unleash his own brand of "good parenting" to teach Vanessa a lesson.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another bright and sunny late-summer day rose in the Tri-State Area, and nobody wasting time with their daily plans. This included the well-known and very well organized Fireside Girls troop 46231, led by their fearless, yet friendly troop leader, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.

"And so, it's settled. From now on, the Fireside Girls' food lounge will also contain vegetarian-friendly products as well as the usual, meat-loving products." Isabella spoke diligently. "Well, if there's no other piece of business, I officially declare this meeting adjured."

With that statement, all of the girls, including Isabella, began to stand up, collect their belongings to take with them, and leave the lodge, ready to carry out other plans they had for the day, all except for one. Milly was the only one left, and she wasn't even awake. She was fast asleep in her seat, snoring loudly & drooling. Isabella walked over to her and tried to shake her awake.

"Milly…wake up." Isabella said softly, but this didn't work, as Milly only snored louder. So this time, Isabella tried yelling. "Milly, wake up!" She shouted, and this time, it worked. Milly snorted a couple of times, then lazily opened her eyes.

"Huh…what…?"

"The meeting is over."

"Huh? It is." She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and yawned. "Oh no, I fell asleep again!"

"Milly, you've been falling asleep at a lot of these meetings lately. That is definitely not like you. You're always wide awake and one of the first ones to jump into these meetings."

"I-I know. I-I'm sorry. This is so unprofessional of me."

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, of course." She lied. "Everything is fine." It was evident in the way she spoke that things were not OK. But, Milly was never one to just tell her friends when she had a little problem. SO she thought it would be better if nobody found out about her issues. Isabella, however, could see right through her lies.

"You're lying. I can tell. You know you can't pull anything over me. Now spill it!"

Milly sighed. "OK, OK. I give up. Yes, I do have a problem. See, lately I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping."

"Really? Boy, that doesn't sound good."

"Trust me, it's not. Every time I fall asleep in my bed, I toss and turn like crazy. My mattress is comfortable and all, and I'm not stressed or anything. I just can't seem to fall asleep for very long."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Almost a week."

"Oh no. Poor Milly." Isabella placed a hand of condolence on the tired girl's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you."

"That's OK, Isabella. It's not like you could just poof up something that will help me get a good night's sleep, can you?"

"No..." It was then that Isabella started formulating an idea. While Isabella herself could not do that all on her own, she believed she knew some people who could. "But, I think I know some people that could do that. Come on." She helped Milly stand up, took her hand, and guided her out of the lodge with a plan set in mind.

"Where are we going?"

"To Phineas and Ferb's house. Where else?"

Isabella dragged a sleepy Milly all the way to Phineas and Ferb's house. The two boys were already outside in the backyard, ready to embrace the day. Isabella & Milly ran up to them. "Hi, guys!" She yelled happily, running specifically to Phineas to give him a hug.

"Hi, Isabella." Phineas responded happily. "Hey, Milly." She turned to Milly and saw that the girl was completely worn out and exhausted. "Whoa, Milly, are you OK? You look like you haven't slept in a week."

"That's because I really haven't slept that much in a week." She responded with a loud yawn.

"What's wrong?"

"She's just been having a lot of trouble staying put and getting 8 hours of uninterrupted, deep sleep." Isabella explained to the boys. "Do you think you could help her? It's very unprofessional for a Fireside Girl to fall asleep at an official meeting, especially one that snores. No offense, Milly."

"None taken, chief."

"Well, what would you want us to do?" Phineas jumped in.

"I was hoping that you guys would be able to come up with something that could help Milly sleep easily at night. Like, a potion, or something of that sorts."

"Hmm..." Phineas and Ferb both pondered on that thought for a moment, going through each of their options carefully. "Well, I suppose that we could do something about it. But, the thing is, tampering with one's natural sleep cycle could very well throw their entire body out of whack. Milly could end up being a night owl for all we know."

"What if we just try it at night?" Isabella asked, slowly. Phineas smacked his forehead, realizing that obvious choice.

"Of course. What was I thinking? Don't worry, guys. Ferb and I will get right to work on it. Right, Ferb?" He looked over to his stepbrother, who gave him a satisfying thumbs up. "Great. We'll call you when it's ready." And with that, the two boys quickly moved away from the scene and got to work on a sleeping potion for Milly.

"Don't worry, Milly." Isabella said to her friend. "If anybody can come up with a solution to help you sleep better, it's Phineas & Ferb. Those two can do anything, and they've already done so much-"

"Done!" Phineas shouted, as he returned, holding a small vile with a purple liquid substance in it. "Sorry we took so long."

Isabella and Milly both stayed silent for a brief moment. Despite knowing the two boys for years, neither could get around their minds how quickly Phineas & Ferb could work with what they had. "Uh, thanks, Phineas."

"No problem. Now, all we have to do is wait until nighttime. Its effects will be strongest then. Can you hold out until then, Milly?"

"Well, I'll try. No guarantees, though. I'm pretty worn out."

**_Twelve hours later..._**

The sun had set, and Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Milly, and Django were all gathered in Milly's room. Milly was in her pajamas, crawled into bed, ready for a long overdue full night's sleep. It was around 10:00 PM. "Wow, time flew by fast." Milly said as she yawned.

"I'll say." Ferb responded.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the evil scientist had his own problems to deal with, though his problems were not centered around a lack of sleep. More so, they were centered around a lack of control over her rebellious daughter, Vanessa.

"Absolutely not, Vanessa!"

"But Dad, it's not like it's going to be this totally off-the-roof , Mind-numbing, totally crazy party. It's more like a get together with friends...that lasts all night."

Earlier in the day, Vanessa had been invited by her boyfriend, Johnny, to an "Sunset, Sunrise Party", a party thrown by teenagers that generally lasted throughout the entire night until the sun came up. There was refreshments, drinks, entertainment, the works. It was like any other party, except it lasted all night long. This one would be Vanessa's very first one, but her father was hesitant to let her go to it.

"Yeah, the key words here, "lasts all night". I don't like the idea of you going to a place I'm not familiar with and staying out all night partying."

"What? You actually think I would stay there all night if given the chance."

"Yes, Yes I do. You tend to be rebellious sometimes."

"Only with you. You are always so wrapped up in your "evil schemes", and you know I don't like it when you try to drag me into them. Besides, you always say that you want me to make more friends. Well, maybe this party will give me the chance to do that."

"You can make friends any time. Point is, I'm not letting you go to this all night party, and that is my final word on the subjectl! Now, if you will excuse me, I have important pressing matters to attend to, and I don't need you interrupting me."

"What pressing matters? You mean coming up with yet another evil scheme that will most surely fail?"

"Yes. Now go to your room."

Vanessa grunted, and walked angrily to her room. "You know I'm not happy about this."

"You're not supposed to be. It's not an easy thing for me to do. But that's what happens when I'm a parent."

Vanessa stormed into her room and sat down on her bed, crossing her arms in defiance. She was clearly not happy with her father denying her permission to go to the party. But she was determined to go regardless. At that moment, there was a knock at the window. Vanessa walked over and opened it, revealing Johnny, who was all amped up and ready to go to the party.

"Hey, Vanessa." He whispered. "You look so hot in that outfit."

"It's...what I normally wear."

"I know." He chortled. "So, you ready to go?"

"I asked my dad and he said "no"."

"Oh."

"But that doesn't mean I'm gonna listen to him. I've been looking forward to this party all day. So come on. Let's roll!" Johnny helped Vanessa out of the window and the two of them set off to what was sure to be the coolest party of the summer. (That is, until Phineas & Ferb threw another one.)

* * *

Speaking of Phineas and Ferb, they were busy trying to help Milly get some peaceful, deep sleep, and they had just the tool to do it with.

"Thanks for coming over, Django. We really needed your help here." Phineas said to his pal.

"I still don't quite understand why I'm here, though." Django said, visibly confused. He was unsure as to why he was there, for even though he secretly liked Milly a lot, he believed that his presence wouldn't make a difference in the outcome.

"Well, see, with our new potion, Milly will be able to have 8 hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep. It combines the chemicals found in milk and in turkey, the beverage & food that are most commonly used to help people get to sleep. The only problem is, we're not exactly sure if the chemicals are going to be too strong or too weak. This potion could either fail completely and instead keep Milly awake, or work too well and put her into a deep, unbreakable sleep."

"So...why am I here again?"

"We need somebody to watch her throughout the course of the night. And we figured, you know, since you seem to like her a lot..."

"Hey! I do not!" He lied.

"Sure you do." He replied sarcastically. "Anyway, we figured that you would be willing to watch her for us. Is that OK with you?"

"You mean...watch her sleep?"

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Isabella asked Phineas.

"I'm not implying anything, if that's what you mean. All I'm saying is that we need somebody to watch over her and keep her company in case something goes wrong, like if she wakes up in the middle of the night and becomes a mindless zombie, or something like that. So, would you be willing to do it, Django?"

"Well, I guess so."

"Great. Thanks so much for doing this. We totally owe you for it."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all." Truthfully, although he wasn't comfortable with the situation Milly was put it, he was comfortable with being able to just be close to her.

"OK, Milly. It's time." Phineas said, handing Milly the sleeping potion. "Be careful, though, and this is really important: Do not, under any circumstances, drink the entire potion. Its effect would be far too strong for you and you would be put in a deep, unbreakable sleep. So Django's gonna stay here to keep an eye on you. But remember, do not drink the entire thing. Only a sip."

"Alright." Milly took a deep breath. "Here goes." She brought the bottle up to her lips and drank only a small bit of the potion. "So...what happens now?"

"You just wait. Don't worry about the effects. Even the smallest amounts will work for you. Just give it a couple of minutes." Phineas turned to Django. "Give us a call in the morning when she wakes up, OK?"

"Got it."

So Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella left to head back home (or in Isabella's case, back to Phineas & Ferb's house), leaving an excited Django to watch over Milly. A brief moment passed, where neither of them said anything. The potion had not yet kicked in, and Milly was becoming anxious, desperate for sleep.

"Hey, Milly, do you mind if I use your bathroom for a second?" Django asked nicely.

"Sure. It's down the hall, first door on the left."

"Thanks." He quickly rushed out of the room to use the restroom. Once Milly was certain that he was gone, she looked over at the vile of sleeping potion on her dresser. She yawned again.

"I know Phineas said not to drink too much of it, but I'm so tired..." She yawned yet again, and then reached out to grab the vile of potion. "Maybe if I drink it really quick and then hide it, they'll never know. And what they don't know won't hurt them."

She gulped the entire vile down quickly, a 24-ounce vile worth of sleeping potion, and then hid it in her dresser draw, and slammed it shut. Then she crawled back into bed and waited anxiously for the potion to start working. After a few seconds passed, she grew impatient. "Why isn't it wor-" But before she had a chance to finish her angry rant, the potion finally kicked in. Milly was totally knocked out; she collapsed right back into her bed, on her back, and started snoring loudly & even drooling a little bit.

It was at that moment that Django returned to the room. The first thing he saw was Milly snoring in her bed. He also noticed that the vile was no longer on the dresser. "Huh, that's strange. When I left, it was there. Oh well, I guess it worked so well for her that she decided to throw it out." Nevertheless, he paid no mind to it, and simply returned to the chair next to the bed to resume watching her.

A few moments had passed, where the only sounds that were made through the house were Milly's snores. Despite being a first-hand witness to her sleep, he was actually a bit infatuated by it (in a manner similar to Isabella's infatuation towards Phineas). _Everybody else can say what they want about you. Awake or asleep, I think you're the most beautiful girl I know. _He thought to himself, as Milly's snoring suddenly got louder and she drooled a little more, an unknown side effect of the potion. _Hey, did her snoring just get louder?_ But, once again, he paid no mind to it and simply continued watching her.

* * *

Meanwhile, Vanessa and Johnny were about to start up their party mode. They headed to the town dump, which was decorated with lights and contained refreshments, and lots of entertainment. Everyone one of the Goths from the Tri-State Area was at the party.

"Whoa, this party looks totally off the hook." Vanessa remarked, taking a liking to what she saw.

"What'd I tell you, babe?" Johnny responded, as she and Vanessa walked over to the refreshments table. "Isn't it awesome?"

"I'll say. No wonder my dad wouldn't let me come to one of these. This is awesome!"

"If you think it's awesome now, just wait until it actually gets going."

"What do you mean?"

"Wait until you hear the entertainment. It's gonna be sick!"

And sure enough, Johnny was right. The entertainment for the night consisted of several heavy metal bands, including Aerosmith, Cactus, and Kiss, plus other bands including the Jonas Brothers, Justin Beiber, and even Lady Gaga. All of these acts spent several hours on the stage, getting everyone at the party to rock out as hard as they could.

Vanessa hesitated at first, since it was her first party. But, Johnny was able to convince her to dance with him on the floor, and soon enough, she was loosened up and truly enjoying herself, scarfing down food and downing the beverages they were serving. She was truly having a blast, listening to every hard core song that was being played, and for the first few hours, it was the experience of a lifetime for her.

But, once the clock hit midnight, Vanessa was beginning to grow weary. After taking a sip of her 5th soda of the night, she approached Johnny with the hopes of going home. "Johnny..." She said hoarsely, exhausted from the dancing and the rocking out. "I'm tired. Do you mind taking me home?"

"Home? Now?" He questioned. "Babe, this is the best part of the party. In a few minutes, the stereo's gonna go nonstop, blasting rock music for us to rock out to. It's gonna be 8 straight hours of nothing but constant rock n' roll music."

"What? Johnny, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I'm already tired as it is."

"But it's only midnight." He scoffed. "If you're tired now, there's no way you'll last until the end of the party, and it's too bad, too."

"Why do you say that?"

"You mean you don't know? Check it out. Look around you." Vanessa took a quick look around, and then it hit her. At all of the possible exits, there were securities guards there, blocking them. "Once the party hits the nonstop rocker mode, there's no escaping. Except for, you know, emergencies."

"So I can't leave?"

"Nope. Not unless you, like, break a limp or puke or something. And it has to be real vomit, not fake vomit. They can tell. Sorry, babe. You'll just have to wing it."

"Yay for me." She responded sarcastically, leaving Johnny's presence in search of a nice, quiet place within the dump to hide for the remainder of the party. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. Throughout the night, many other Goths tried to pull Vanessa onto the dance floor to "help her relax". They didn't realize that she didn't really want to be there, and simply got her to party harder.

Time felt like it was at a standstill for Vanessa. She could not convince the others that she didn't want to be there and that she was tired, and every time she tried to make an exit, the security detail threw her back into the party. It was fair to say that at this point, she was at her breaking point and that she would give anything to be back home, in her nice, warm bed, sleeping peacefully, not even thinking about the party or anything of that sorts. Too bad for her, it was only 1 A.M.

Seven more hours had finally passed, and after what seemed like months, the party was at long last over. All of the Goths had left the dump to return home, with the exception of Vanessa, who was nearly passed out on the ground. Johnny ran over to her to help her up.

"Whoa, Vanessa. What happened? You look like you just got run over by a car." Johnny remarked. Vanessa wasn't amused.

"That's because I'm totally exhausted." She spat out with her extremely hoarse voice. By now, her eyes were glassy, red, and had dark bags under them. Drool was dripping from her mouth as she could only think about the warmth of sleep. "That was the worst night of my life and I hope I never have to go to another all-night party again."

"Wow. I'm sorry you feel that way, babe."

"Why?"

"Because there's another one tonight and I was gonna ask you to it."

Vanessa used all of her remaining strength to glare at him angrily, as she struggled to stand up. "No! WAY!" She bellowed as she limped out of the dump and made her way back home. She was too tired to think of anything, but she knew she had to make her way back home before her dad woke up and saw that she was gone.

Unfortunately for her, that would be her downfall. Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as it turns out, had woken up earlier in the morning and discovered that her daughter was gone. He assumed that she had defied him to go to that all-night party, and instead of calling her on her cell to confront her, he would take a much different approach to disciplining her.

She trudged and trudged all the way home, and made her way to the side of the building. Using whatever strength she had left, she scaled the wall up 40 stories, all the way back up to her room. By the time she had reached her floor, her energy was totally depleted. She crawled to her bed, climbed in, and tried to fall asleep. She was so tired that it was actually rather difficult for her. Finally, after a few minutes, she did fall asleep and start snoring slightly, only to be awaken by Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who kicked her door in as hard as he could, startling her and nearly making her heart skip a beat.

"Good morning, Vanessa!" He shouted in an obnoxious voice. She lifted her head and mumbled incoherently.

"Morning, Dad." She said almost silently.

"Boy, what a beautiful day it is!"

"Dad, could you not yell so loud?" She asked, practically begged him.

"Why? What's the matter? Didn't you sleep well?" He asked in a sly tone, well aware of her nightly rouse.

"Um, yeah, that's it. I just didn't sleep well."

"Well, suck it up, sister. Because I volunteered both of us to work at the Danville Gardening home."

Suddenly, as if she had gained a burst of energy, she sat up and glared at him. "You did what?"

"I volunteered both of us to work at the Danville Gardening home. We are going to spend the next twelve working hard with back-breaking, sweat-inducing labor to make Danville brighter, greener, and more environmentally friendly. Doesn't that sound super?"

Vanessa took in every word he said and mulled it over for a moment. She knew full well that her dad would never want to do anything to help the place he's been working for years to take over. She figured that either he had finally snapped, or that he was totally onto her, toying with her, trying to break her spirit. She didn't want that to happen; she wanted to see if she could at least keep up the charade for the rest of the day. "Yeah, dad..." She hissed. "It sounds AWESOME!"

"I knew you would think so! Now come on! We have to be there in a half hour."

"Yeah, yeah, dad..." She mumbled, then yawned loudly again. "Just let me catch a few more minutes of sleep..." Her voice trailed off as she fell asleep and started snoring in her bed. She was so tired at that point she couldn't think of moving at all. But Doofenshmirtz had other plans. He grabbed her arm and literally dragged her out of bed, and then woke her up using a soccer horn. It was so loud that it put her into a state of shock. "W-W-What was that for?"

"You were going back to sleep. I couldn't let that happen. Besides, we have to be there in less than 20 minutes. Come on. Let's go."

"No breakfast?"

"We don't have that kind of time! Come on!" He tugged on her arm and ran right out the door, literally dragging her with him. She didn't have the strength to stand up on her own, and was forced to endure the dragging as he led her out of the building and towards the gardening home. Of course, Doofenshmirtz decided to play a mean trick on her and walked very slowly towards the home, making her torture even more tedious.

* * *

But Vanessa wasn't the only girl with problems. It was now 9:30 in the morning, and Milly was still fast asleep in her bed, being watched over by Django. By now, she was snoring much louder than before, her face & pillow was covered in drool, and there appeared to be no signs of stopping. Suddenly, Django's cell phone rang. "Hello?"

"_Django!"_ Phineas was on the other line. "_What the heck, man? I told you to call me once she woke up."_

"Yeah, I know."

"_Wait, so does this mean she hasn't woken up yet?"_

"Nope. She's still snoring like there's no tomorrow. In fact, I think she may have gotten even louder."

"_What? Uh oh. That's not good. She should've woken up by now. How much of that potion did she drink, anyway?"_

"Actually, I'm not too sure. I had to go to the bathroom, and when I left, she had only taken a sip of it. But when I came back, the entire vile was gone. Wait, you don't actually think..."

_"We'll be over in a jiffy. In the meantime, you have to find that vile and see how much she drank."_

"On it." He ran over to her dresser drawer to start looking there. He pulled out every one of Milly's drawers, looking for the vile. He opened the top drawer and discovered the vile. "I found it!" He shouted excitedly before realizing that the vile was totally empty. "Uh oh."

"_She drank the whole thing, didn't she?"_

"Yep."

"_Man, she must've really been out of it to drink all of it. OK, we're coming over."_

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella arrived a short time after that phone call and found Django right by the bedside, with a look of concern on his face. The kids all took a brief moment to truly get a sense of how bad the situation was, noted by the way Milly was sleeping. "Wow, that's kinda...disturbing."

"And she's snoring even louder than last night!" Django pointed out.

"It must be a side effect from the potion!" Phineas turned to Isabella and whispered to him "Isabella, I'm not like that in my sleep, am I?"

"Yeah, you kinda are." Isabella responded, giggling. She leaned in and kissed him lovingly. "But it doesn't bother me."

Phineas blushed madly, but returned to the matter at hand: trying to wake Milly up. "Let me see that vile." He said to Django, who handed him the bottle. "Yikes. She must've consumed this in a heartbeat."

"I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just...oh, never mind. It's not important. What's important is getting Milly to wake up before it's too late."

"Too late? What do you mean "too late"? Could something bad happen if we don't wake her up?"

"Based on our calculations..." Ferb explained. "We've concluded that to ensure a success in our operation, we must awaken the sleeping girl within 20 hours of ingesting the original substances. That would mean we need to awaken her by the time the clock strikes 6. If we don't, then..."

"Then what?"

"Then Milly will remain asleep forever."

"What!" Django shrieked. "We can't let that happen! We have to do something. But...what _can_ we do?"

"Well, I know for a fact that loud noises can wake somebody up from their sleep. So maybe if we try making a lot of loud noises continuously, it might snap her out of it."

"Great idea, Phineas!" Isabella shouted. "But what are we going to use to make a lot of unnecessary noise?"

"We could get Phineas & Ferb's sister." Django joked, referring to Candace, who was previously known for yelling a lot unnecessarily. Though at this point, Django wasn't fully aware of how this comment offended Phineas.

"Hey, back off, Django! My sister's a lot better than that now, so don't you dare say anything like that about her again!" Phineas almost shouted, nearly angry at his friend for saying that.

"Whoa, whoa, sorry. I-I didn't realize..."

"Just forget it. I know, it's OK. Let's just focus on the task at hand."

"Hey, I just realized something." Isabella said, with an idea. "I have a video cassette of a very loud, and very bad opera singer at home. It's extremely loud, and I'm sure it can easily wake her up. I mean, she can't be _that_ heavy a sleeper, can she?"

"I guess we'll find out. Go home and get that cassette. We need to wake Milly up soon, and we can't afford to waste time."

"You got it, chief!" She responded to Phineas, giggling even, as she turned and ran out. As soon as she was out of the room, Phineas laughed as well.

"That girl's definitely something, isn't she?" He said. "I love her so much." He then turned to the sleeping Milly. "Don't worry, Milly. We'll have you awake and alert in no time. At least I hope we do. If we can't, then..."

"I'm back!" She shouted as she came rushing back into the room, with the cassette, her cassette player, and a box full of other items they could use. "Let's try it out."

They set up the cassette player and the cassette, and pressed play. Almost immediately, the sound of a horrible opera singer came out from the player. The volume escalated as the cassette moved on. However, the tape not only failed to awake the girl, but it also failed to even register, because by that time, Milly's snoring had gotten much louder, and was now even louder than the cassette itself, much to the surprise of everyone else.

"It's not working!" Phineas shouted over the noise. "We have to try something else!"

"Don't worry. I brought over this box of loud things we could use to wake Milly up." Isabella & Phineas started rummaging through the box, looking for something loud & obnoxious to use to wake Milly up. "Hey, Phineas...?"

"Yes, Isabella? What's up?"

"Do you think that when this is over, I could..."

"What? What is it?"

"I could borrow some of that sleeping potion?"

"Aw, what's the matter?" He crawled over to where she was and hugged her. "Are you having trouble sleeping too?"

"No, it's not that, it's just..."

It took Phineas a moment to figure out what she was implying, and soon enough, he was onto her. "Oh, I get it. Nice try, Isabella. I know what you're trying to do. You want to hold onto the sleeping potion so whenever you get "in the mood", you can douse it on me."

"What? No! No, th-that's not it at all!"

"Come on. Don't play dumb."

She sighed in defeat, realizing that she had been found out. "OK, you got me."

"No, I think I'm just gonna hold on to it myself." He leaned in a whispered to her reassuringly. "This way, when you _do_ get in the mood, you won't go overboard. Got me?"

She looked at him for a moment, then smiled and let out an ear-splitting giggle. Unfortunately, not even _that_ could awaken the girl.

* * *

Elsewhere, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and a severely weary Vanessa had arrived at the Danville Gardening Home, where the next phase of his "discipline" would commence.

"Excuse me, we're here to sign in." He said to the lady at the front desk. "Heinz & Vanessa Doofenshmirtz."

"Ah, yes. Mr. Doofenshmirtz." She responded, checking them off her list. "I must say I'm a little surprised you decided to volunteer. Usually, it's your brother, Roger."

"Eh heh heh. Don't remind me."

"Dad, do we really have to do this?" Vanessa asked, as she stood up, yawning. "You don't like this town, remember?"

"Oh come on, Vanessa. It'll be fun. It'll be different. You're always complaining about me not spending enough time with you during the day, so this could be our big chance to do some father/daughter bonding."

Vanessa sighed, suddenly wishing she had never run her mouth the way she did around that subject. "Fine, Dad. Whatever you say."

"I knew you would come around. So, what is our first task?"

"Follow me, and I'll show you." She stood up and led the two outside, where there was a big, empty space designated for planting & growing, and several dozen bags of manure, and several dozens of bags of seeds, just waiting to be moved. "We need these bags of manure and seeds to be moved over there so we can get to planting as soon as possible."

"H-How heavy are those bags?" Vanessa asked. In her totally exhausted state of mind, she couldn't even fathom trying to lift one of the bags, let alone dozens of them.

"I don't know. But they got a lot of manure in them. Why?"

"N-No reason."

"Don't worry, Vanessa. I don't think it's _that_ kind of manure, if that's what you're worried about." Her father spoke.

"No, No I know. It's just...never mind. Let's just get this over with."

She was dreading having to carry hundreds of bags of various items from one end of the yard to the other, since she was nearly totally out of energy. But, she knew that if she caved in now, in front of the public, and in front of her dad, she would surely be exposed for having gone to the all-night party after having been told no by her dad. She believed that if she at least kept a low profile, she would have a chance of getting away with it. Of course, she had absolutely no idea that he was completely aware of it and was simply toying with her.

So, the two got to work transferring the bags from one end all the way to the other, closer to the designated planting area. Dr. Doofenshmirtz had an easy time moving the bags, or, rather, an easi_er_ time moving the bags than Vanessa did. Vanessa, running on her last reserves, virtually dragged each of the bags to the planting area. In fact, she was going so slowly that by the time she had dragged one bag over to the area, her father had carried five. She was the slowest of the bunch, and immediately, her father, as well as the instructor, could see it.

"Heinz, you are doing a fabulous job." The instructor told him. In truth, she was actually a part of his brilliant parenting scheme.

"Why, thank you, Alyssa."

"In fact, why don't you take a little break?"

From the other side, Vanessa could hear them, and immediately, she became furious. She couldn't bare to have to do all of the work herself. She wouldn't survive.

"What? And let Vanessa do all of this? Oh, I couldn't."

"Sure, you could."

"_OH NO YOU CAN'T!"_ She exploded, as, on sheer adrenaline, she ran over to them. "There is NO WAY I can carry all of these bags over there myself!"

"Of course you can, Vanessa. You're a strong-willed woman-"

"I'm exhausted! OK? I went to that all-night party without your permission and now I'm so tired I just wanna fall down and go to sleep for a month! Those things are horrible, and I have no idea how anybody could want to go to one every single night! I'm sorry, OK? I shouldn't have gone, but now I know for next time! So now, can we please just go home and-" She was stopped when she saw that her father, and the instructor, were laughing. "What?"

"Vanessa, I knew all along that you had gone to the party."

"Y-You did?"

"Yes."

"Wait, so are you telling me that you knew about it this whole time, and all of this was just some messed-up scheme to teach me a lesson?"

He paused for a brief moment. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Ugh!" I can't believe this! So I was about to plant these seeds for no reason at all! I mean, what kind of moron eats carrots anyway?"

Her anger and frustrations were briefly interrupted by the sound of chewing coming from behind her. She turned to confront him or her, only to discover that the chewing was actually from a live, talking rabbit. And not just any rabbit, either. It was the infamous talking rabbit, Bugs Bunny.

"Eh, now what was that you were saying about a moron eating carrots?" He asked suspiciously, and rather angrily, too. Vanessa dared to say something, but restrained herself. "I thought so. See, this is why people like you don't have friends. Oh, and..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some breath mints. "Here. I would suggest taking a bunch of these before talking to someone again." With that, he turned around and walked away. Vanessa gasped and covered her mouth, realizing that Bugs had just said that she had very bad breath.

"See, Vanessa. This is why you should always get your 8 hours of sleep at night." Doofenshmirtz said in a very parent-like tone, which caused Vanessa to growl menacingly to herself.

* * *

Time was flying by quickly, as each attempt to wake Milly up failed. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Django were running out of options, and time. They had until 7:00 PM to awaken the girl, or else she would be stuck in a permanent state of sleep.

"I don't understand it." Phineas sighed, visibly exasperated. "We've tried nearly everything, and nothing's working. And we're running out of time."

"What else can we do?" Django asked. "I mean, it's not like you can just whip up an un-sleeping potion, right?"

Phineas and Ferb both looked at each other, then at Isabella & Django, and then smacked their foreheads, hard.

"You're joking, right?" Isabella inquired, annoyed. "You could do that?"

"I can't believe we didn't think of that first." Ferb said, rather annoyed at himself.

"Me neither." Phineas responded.

"What?" A confused Django asked.

"If Ferb and I reverse engineer the formula we used to create the sleeping potion, then we can whip up an antidote that will wake Milly up. We'll head home and start working on it." The two boys headed out the door and rushed for home as quickly as they could.

"That's great, but they better hurry." Isabella said, looking at her watch.

"We still have over a half hour, you know."

"I know that, but I can't imagine how hard it would be to whip up an-"

"Done!" Phineas shouted, right behind her. They had just gotten back with the antidote. "Sorry we took so long. We would've been done sooner except we screwed up the first batch and had to try again."

"Uh..." Isabella was once again amazed at how quickly the two boys worked. "Thanks."

"You have to get her to drink the entire substance, or else it won't work."

"Got it."

She, and the others, slowly edged up to Milly, who, by now, was snoring so loudly & drooling so much that the entire neighborhood, if they cared at all, would easily be annoyed. Isabella slowly poured the liquid into her mouth, until all of it was gone. Milly shook her head violently for a moment; the taste was horrible and her reflexes told her to gag and try to get the taste out. But, it wasn't enough, and she did consume it all. It took a few minutes for the potion to begin working. Milly had finally stopped snoring, and slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey, I think she's waking up." Django said positively.

"Well, at least she stopped snoring." Isabella remarked, with a relieved sense of tone, which Django found irritating.

"Hey, it just so happens that I like her snoring."

"You...do?"

"Well, I'm not really bothered by it. Why? Does that make me a bad person?"

"That's something you would have to talk to your dad about." Phineas told him, as Milly continued to wake up.

"H-Hey, what's going on?" She asked, her voice sounding very groggy after her long nap. "What's happening? And why do I taste prune juice?"

"Milly, you're awake!" Isabella shouted in glee, going up to her friend and hugging her. "I'm so glad you're awake."

"What happened?"

"You drank all of the sleeping potion, even after I specifically warned you not to." Phineas explained.

"I'm sorry. I was just so tired, and the little sip I took wasn't doing anything for me. I felt like I was going crazy from not sleeping."

"You just had to give it time, that's all. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

"No, but you guys flew around the world in a day."

"Don't remind us. Anyway, we're just glad that you're awake and that this whole mess is behind us."

"What were you so worried about? I mean, what was the worst thing that would've happened if you hadn't woken me up?"

"You would've been stuck in a deep sleep and you would never have woken up." Ferb said bluntly. Milly blinked a few times, not knowing how to respond. None of the other kids said anything either, as Ferb slowly backed away from them, whistling casually, realizing his mistake.

* * *

Nighttime had fallen on the Tri-State Area, and Vanessa, along with her father, had returned home. "I'm really sorry, Dad." Vanessa apologized to her dad.

"That's OK, Vanessa. I'm happy that you learned your lesson. Now why don't you wash up and go to bed?"

"OK." Vanessa trudged her way into her room, and got herself cleaned up. After she was through with that, she trudged to her bed and collapsed onto it. Just as she was about to close her eyes and fall asleep, a loud, ear-splitting noise filled her room. It was the sound of a trumpet being played poorly. It spooked her so much she fell right out of bed. "Ahh! What is that?" She ran to the door and tried to open it, but to her surprise, it was locked. "What the-my door is lock? DAD! DAD!"

As it turns out, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was not only right outside the door, he was also the mastermind behind the noise. He acquired Bugs Bunny, the rabbit Vanessa had insulted for eating carrots earlier, to continuously play a trumpet as loudly and as badly as he could in order to annoy Vanessa and torture her into discipline. Doofenshmirtz was laughing while Bugs did this.

"I know this may seem like cruel and unusual punishment to you." The bunny said. "And it probably is. But, it's totally worth it." He turned to Doofenshmirtz. "By the way, doc, how long do you want me to do this for?"

"_DAD! Open this door! I can't take it! AHH!"_

"Hmm, I don't know. Until it stops being funny, I suppose." Dr. Doofenshmirtz was so bent on messing with Vanessa that he completely ignored that she was genuinely hurting. The best thing for her at the moment would be some sleep, but he wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily.

"Fair enough."

"_Dad! Come on, Dad! This isn't funny anymore!"_

"It is, to me!" He shouted back, laughing some more.

Bugs went to blow into the trumpet again, before turning again to the viewing world. "To those faithful viewers at home, if your parents are anything like this guy, with no social life and no sense of deceny, you have my utmost sympathy as a friend. If _you_ turn out to be anything like this guy, you're dead to me." He bluntly concluded as he went back to blowing into the trumpet and annoying Vanessa to no end.

**_That's all, Folks!_**

**End of Episode 52!**

**A/N: I do not own Bugs Bunny.**

******Well, I hope you enjoyed this. And, as a little side note, I've written a sequel to my infamous "The Talk" fanfiction, this time, as a one shot, focusing on Django and Milly that takes place right after this episode. It's completed, but I haven't yet decided whether to post it or not.**

**Next Time:******** When the Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz announces a contest with a reward of $20,000 to whomever can catch the notorious "Roadrunner", Phineas & Ferb set out to catch it, but they soon realize that it's much harder than they thought. A parody of the infamous "Wile E. Coyote & Roadrunner" cartoons.**


	64. 53a: The Fast and the Ludicrous

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 53a: The Fast And The Ludicrous **

**Episode Summary: ********************************************When the Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz announces a contest with a reward of $20,000 to whomever can catch the notorious "Roadrunner", Phineas & Ferb set out to catch it, but they soon realize that it's much harder than they thought. A parody of the infamous "Wile E. Coyote & Roadrunner" cartoons.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another late summer day in Danville, and Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were already in the backyard, planning the day's activity. They had with them a little radio, which was turned on, to hopefully give them some inspiration. Just as they were about to settle down and start designing a fresh blueprint, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz came on the radio, with a very important announcement to the Tri-State Area.

"_Fellow citizens of the Tri-State Area,_" He said boldly. "_With the end of summer fast approaching, it is my honor to announce a new Tri-State tradition: the great "Roadrunner" hunt. That's right. Recently, the ever-so elusive Roadrunner has been spotted through the Danville Desert._ (**Yes, Danville has a desert**) _This Roadrunner has been proven to be a nuisance to our society, and must be captured immediately. That is why I am offering a $20,000 reward to anybody who can capture the Roadrunner and bring him back to me...alive, of course."_

"Roadrunner?" Phineas questioned. "Huh, that's strange. I thought that was just a cartoon."

"Let me check my Fireside Girls handbook for that." Isabella said, pulling out the official book and flipping through the pages. "Ah, here it is. According to the Fireside Girls manual, the Roadrunner is an extremely fast creature that can run at an even greater speed than the cheetah. Having been around since 1949, the elusive Roadrunner has never been captured and remains on the loose in the desert." (**A/N: "1949" represents the year that the fire Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon came out**)

"1949? Wouldn't the road runner be dead or something? Or at least very, very, very old?"

"That sounds about right."

"But if it _is_ still alive, and still on the loose..." Ferb suggested. "And _we_ were the ones who captured him..."

"Oh, I see where you're going with this, Ferb." Phineas slyly said. "Just imagine what we could buy with that kind of money. But, what do you suppose they'll do if we succeed in capturing the Roadrunner?"

"You think they would hurt him?"

"I don't know. But I wouldn't be surprised if that was their intention."

"But Phineas, it this is the Mayor's idea, then maybe the Roadrunner won't be hurt at all. Maybe he'll just release him back into the desert and do this again next year."

"I guess we won't know for sure until we go and capture him. So, come on, gang! Let's go to the desert and catch us a Roadrunner! I wonder where Perry is. I'm sure he'd love to come with us."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere out in the desert, Perry was already set up in the desert, with plans of his own...under direct order from his boss, of course.

"Agent P, we've just gotten word that your nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, is in the desert, with plans to capture the elusive "Roadrunner", as part of a contest set up by his brother, who, in case you've forgotten, is the Mayor of Danville. Our sources tell us that he has purchased several items from an explosives company named "ACME". I swear, I have heard that name before, but I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, you must stop Doofenshmirtz from executing any plans he may have involving these dangerous weapons, and capturing that Roadrunner before it is too late."

Perry saluted him, and then went out on the lookout for his nemesis. He jumped off of the high rock he was platformed on, pulled a cord from his jet pack and unleashed a parachute. As he slowly descended to the Earth, he caught a brief glimpse of the elusive Roadrunner as it shot right past Perry, letting out a small "Meep Meep", before disappearing down the road.

As Perry landed softly on the ground, he saw his nemesis walk right past him with a few pounds of dynamite and a fuse. "Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus." He cheerfully said. "How nice to see you. T-This is so unexpected. I don't have a trap set for you. Oh well. I suppose it doesn't matter. I suppose you're here for the same reason I'm here: for the Roadrunner. But I'm not here just for that. Let me explained."

As he explained his scheme, he began setting up the dynamite he had. "You see, Perry the Platypus, early on in my childhood, my father, in perhaps a very...for lack of a better word, "half-assed" effort to "bond" with me, tried to teach me how to be a hunter. He would take me into the woods with a shotgun and make me shoot at wolves that passed by. Unfortunately, I was a terrible shot. Strangely, I still am. Anyway, my father was so ashamed of me and my inability to shoot that he disowned me personally and kicked me out of the house, forcing me to live with the wolves in the woods. He said that they would make a better shooter out of me. Strangely, again, he was right."

"Anyway, I've come here to prove my father wrong. I am going to show him what he's missing out on - by catching the Roadrunner, bringing him back to my brother, and collecting the $20,000 reward and then rubbing the glory in my father's face! Oh, it's going to be so awesome! I cannot wait! And, how am I going to catch the Roadrunner, you ask? Well, what do you think, smartypants? With dynamite, of course!"

He finished setting up the dynamite and took a match up, lighting it, and lighting the fuse. "According to my calculations, the Roadrunner will return to this precise spot by the time the fuse has completely burned. As a result, the Roadrunner will be unable to avoid an explosion. He will be doomed, and I will claim my much deserved prize money. All I need now is the Roadrunner," He checked his watch. "and he should be coming back around right about..." The Roadrunner began speeding along the road, completely oblivious to the dynamite. As Dr. Doofenshmirtz predicted, the fuse stopped burning out at the precise second the Roadrunner passed over the explosives. However, not according to plan, the explosives failed to, well, explode.

Doofenshmirtz, completely dismayed, rushed back over to the explosives to figure out what went wrong. "B-Bu-Bu-B-I don't understand it. The explosives should have gone off. Maybe there's a jam in there somewhere or something..." Doofenshmirtz proceeded to fiddle around with his explosives, only for it to end up in a giant explosion with him caught right in the middle of it. All of the dynamite was used, leaving him covered in soot from head to toe. "OK, clearly not according to plan. I guess I will have to take a different approach."

* * *

Elsewhere, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were hatching their own plan for catching the Roadrunner. Unlike Doofenshmirtz, they opted not to use explosives of any kind. Instead, the three children built a giant, unbreakable net. "Phineas, are you sure this net can really catch the Roadrunner?"

"Isabella, don't worry." Phineas assured her as the three kids stood off to the side. "The net is so huge that there's absolutely no way this could possibly fail." Unfortunately, Phineas's theory was proven to be dead wrong, because the holes made up by the stitches in the net were far too big, and as a result, when the Roadrunner sprinted towards the net, it sprinted right through the holes in the net, to Phineas's utter surprise.

"Did it just run right through the holes of the net?" Isabella asked.

"Yes, yes it did." Phineas asked, with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. "I guess we'll just have to try something else. I still can't believe that didn't work."

"Perhaps the problem was that the net itself was far too big." Ferb suggested.

"Probably. But you know me. I like to do big things. Anyway, I've already got another idea."

So the three kids got to work on Phineas's next idea. This time, the idea consisted of laying out a bowl of bird seeds on the road (how original) and zipping down on a pre-built zip line and capturing the Roadrunner using an ordinary bag. "So, we've gone from using a giant net to using a zip line and a bag." Isabella pointed out. "Something about this just tells me that it's not going to work."

"Don't be so negative, Isabella." Phineas optimistically responded. "All I have to do is zip down this zip line when the Roadrunner runs by to have a little snack, and I'll grab him with this bag I found."

"Wait a minute. You? What makes you think _you're_ doing this?"

"Well, it's dangerous, and I don't-"

"Exactly. It's dangerous. That's why I don't want you to do this. I'd hate to see you get hurt. Just imagine what could happen if this doesn't work. You could slam hard into the ground and break a lot of your bones, and the last thing I would want is for you to damage your cute little face...or your cute butt."

"That's why I'm doing this, Isabella. To protect you from anything like that happening. Please, Isabella. Just relax and let me handle this."

A few moments later, the Roadrunner came running up, and instantly stopped at the bowl of bird seeds and began rapidly pecking away at them. At that moment, Phineas jumped off the ledge and shot down the zip line, as planned, and readied his sack. Unfortunately for him, the zip line slowly began to break, and as a result, before Phineas even reached the Roadrunner, it snapped and Phineas fell right to the ground, landing on his face. The Roadrunner let out another "meep meep" and then sped off.

Ferb and Isabella zipped down the line and ran over to the boy. "Phineas!" Isabella shouted as she tried to help him up. "See? This is what I was trying to warn you about. Now your face is all smudged and bruises. Oh well, at least your butt's still in tact." She said that with a laugh as she patted his butt once, then helped him up and kissed him.

"Alright, Isabella. You told me so." He joked with her, sharing the laugh. "Now what?"

"We'll just have to try something else." Ferb said.

"But what?"

"Perhaps we'll just have to fight _fire_ with _fire._"

"Oh, I get you, Ferb. Good thinking."

"Would someone mind filling me in, please? I have no idea what you're talking about?" Isabella complained.

"Ferb's saying that we're going to have to match the Roadrunner's speed if we're ever going to catch it. Luckily, we have just the tools we need to do that. Our old super-speed shoes from last summer!" **(Run, Candace, Run)**

"Speed shoes?"

Phineas and Ferb reached into their pockets and pulled out said speed shoes. "With these babies, we'll be able to catch that Roadrunner in no time."

"Well, that's all fine and dandy, but we'll still need something to catch the Roadrunner in. Besides, _I_ don't have a pair of those-"

She was interrupted when Phineas took out a third pair and handed them to her. "We built a third pair just in case one of ours broke. You can have it."

"Cool. Thanks! But again, how are we going to catch the Roadrunner once we catch up to him?"

"We'll figure out the details while we run. I'm sure we'll think of something else. Besides, a good run will boost our cardiovascular health, anyway."

"But you better not go overboard with that like you did last time. Remember?"

"Yes, Isabella. I remember." He said rather monotone, but then chuckled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had his hands full with his attempts to capture the Roadrunner. His next "brilliant" scheme included an old classic antic called "panting a rock to fool the Roadrunner into thinking that it's a tunnel so he'll crash into it".

He grabbed a paint brush and some paint, and started doodling away on the rock. By the time he was finished doodling his little "tunnel", the Roadrunner was barely in sight on the road, roughly about 12 miles away.

"There. All done." He said as he turned to find his nemesis standing right there. "And now, for the piece de resistance." Doofenshmirtz held up a "detour" sign and placed in the middle of the road, then painted a white line from the middle of the road towards the painted tunnel in an outlandish attempt to fool the Roadrunner into crashing into a rock. He and Perry hid behind another nearby rock. "Now watch and learn, Perry the Platypus."

The Roadrunner came zooming up to the detour sign and subsequently took a sharp left turn towards the "tunnel" and then ran right through it. That's right. The Roadrunner actually ran right through the painted tunnel, to Doofenshmirtz total and utter shock.

"Wha?" He questioned, with a grave look of confusion on his face. (He was cross-eyed) He walked over to the tunnel and started vigorously running his hands along the face of it. "B-But how is that even possible? I've done some crazy, outlandish things in the past, but I know for a fact that _this_ defies the laws of physics." Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. As he looked through his created "tunnel", he saw an oncoming truck. Again, his cross-eyed confused look returned as he quickly got hit by the truck and was left defenseless on the ground. "And...so does that."

He stood up and dusted himself off, only slightly injured (miraculously). "And...so does this. How is it that I am able to stand up after being run over by a 16-wheeler? This doesn't seem to make any sense. Then again, nothing I do really makes sense. Hmm..." He took a long look at the tunnel he painted, the tunnel that was supposed to be fake. "I wonder..." He took several steps away from the rock, in order to get a running start. Then, with all of his strength, he sprinted towards the rock, hoping to mimic the actions and results of the Roadrunner. Sadly, when he reached the rock, he didn't go through it at all. Instead, he crashed into it, and left his entire body numb. "OW!" He shouted. "W-Why didn't that work?"

He was left standing with a numb body to mull over the though, but was then set back even further when Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, in their speed shoes, came up to him and ran right past him, through the tunnel he had painted. "OH COME ON!" He shouted again, visibly frustrated with the fact that he seemed to be the only one who couldn't figure out his own scheme.

* * *

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were hot on the Roadrunner's trail, only slightly behind him. The problem was that the road was quickly becoming smaller and smaller, and they were coming up to the edge of the cliff, running out of room to speed.

"We're gaining on him!" Phineas shouted. "But we're starting to lose ground. There's a cliff up ahead! We've gotta catch him before we run out of road." He pulled out the bag to capture the Roadrunner. But in a twist, just as the Roadrunner was about to run out of road himself, he stopped ever-so-short, just at the edge, and with seemingly no effort at all. Astonished, Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were too distracted to stop themselves, and it was only after they ran over the cliff did they come back to reality and discover what had happened.

"Whoa, did you see that?" Phineas asked them.

"You bet. It...It's like he didn't even try at all."

"Yes, it was quite an impressive display." Ferb agreed. "But, I think we've got our own problems."

"What do you mean?"

Ferb pointed down, and Isabella & Phineas looked to discover that they were over the edge and now about to fall hundreds and hundreds of feet. Phineas looked up at his friends and held up a sign that read "Yikes. I think this is going to hurt". At that moment, the three kids started falling to the ground, screaming their heads off. But Ferb, thinking quickly, took out a grappling hook he happened to be carrying, and shot it up to the cliff. Phineas and Isabella grabbed onto Ferb as he shot them back up to the cliff, towards safety.

"Wow, Ferb. That was great!" Phineas shouted, relieved, more than anything, to be alive and in one piece.

"Yeah, quick thinking on your part." Isabella continued. They were so excited to have survived that near-death experience that they failed to notice that the Roadrunner had run off. "Too bad we lost the Roadrunner, though."

"Don't worry, Isabella. We'll find him again. There's only so much desert out here, you know. We just gotta keep our eyes out for him, and we'll find him. I'm sure of it."

"I love how you can stay so optimistic about things. It's one of the many things I love about you."

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz, having just recovered from being hit by a truck that ran right through his "fake tunnel", trudged along the road, visibly frustrated, contemplating yet another scheme. Perry was following closely, with plans to thwart whatever plan Doofenshmirtz thought of to capture the Roadrunner.

Through much pacing, and eventually, much surfing on the internet via his laptop, he decided to go with a spritzer that allows one to grow up to ten times their normal size. After ordering it "Rush Delivery", a wooden crate dropped from the sky and opened, revealing a small, green spritzer containing the substance needed to make Doofenshmirtz grow. "Excellent. With this new growing potion, I can make myself as big as I want, and then, I will be able to catch the Roadrunner. Observe, Perry the Platypus."

He spritzed himself several times with the potion, and after a few seconds, he started growing in size. "Yes! It's working. It's working!" He shouted as his growing suddenly ceased, and by that time, he was three times his original size. "Yes! I am much, much bigger than I was before! Now catching the Roadrunner will be a cinch!"

As if on cue, the Roadrunner came rushing down the road after having dealt with Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, let out a "meep meep" to him, and then ran off. Doofenshmirtz, more determined than ever to catch him, took off after him, with Perry right behind him. His thought that being bigger would give him an advantage over the Roadrunner was quickly disproved, as he was actually far slower than he was at regular size. The Roadrunner got away even faster than he had before.

Doofenshmirtz came to a stop, realizing that the Roadrunner was soon out of sight. Angry and determined, he spritzed himself some more, and soon grew even more, this time to the max. ten times normal size. What he failed to realize, though, was that the bigger he was, the slower he was. He could barely keep up with the Roadrunner, and by the time he realized this, the Roadrunner had gone into a nearby tunnel. Doofenshmirtz knelled down and reached his arm into it to try and grab the Roadrunner, but he was far too quick and used the arm to escape, traveling up his body and down the other arm.

Doofenshmirtz attempted to squish the Roadrunner with his other arm, but the Roadrunner, as usual, was far too quick, and he ended up traveling all over his body to escape. To avoid going into unnecessary detail, in short, Doofenshmirtz, in an attempt to capture him, started punching himself in every possible place, until finally, he fell off of the platform, and into the hole created by that cliff and the other cliff just several feet away.

Unfortunately, he was so large from the spritzer that he did not fall to the ground. Instead, he got wedged in between the space. But, that didn't last very long. As quickly as the effects made him large, they wore off, returning him to his normal size. Shocked and dismayed, and facing certain injuries, he grabbed the bottle out of his pocket and read the labels, which stated "results may be temporary".

Doofenshmirtz growled loudly as he fell to the ground and slammed down on it hard. Battered, beaten, and just flat-out exhausted, he threw the bottle of spritzer away and rubbed his temples. "Oh, this is impossible. That slippery Roadrunner is too clever for me. I'd be much better off just trying to defeat Perry the Platypus."

Once again, as if on cue, the Roadrunner came sprinting up to Doofenshmirtz, made his trademark sound, and then rushed off in another direction. Having had enough of the Roadrunner, Doofenshmirtz growled, stood up, and started walking in a random direction, with absolutely no idea how to get home. Perry, seeing no more reason to be around, turned on his jet pack and went to find Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella.

* * *

Said kids were walking down the road in the middle of nowhere, having also given up on the search for the Roadrunner. Although Phineas wanted to press on, the exhaustion he and his friends felt overwhelmed them greatly, and they knew it was time to call it quits.

"Man, I hurt." Phineas said, trying to straighten out his back. "This wasn't one of our better adventures."

"You can say that again." Isabella almost bitterly agreed.

"I wonder if the Roadrunner will ever be captured."

"Don't count on it, kiddies." A voice right in front of them spoke. The kids all looked up and saw a wild coyote cleaning his teeth with a toothpick. "I've been trying for 62 years and I've never come close."

"Wow. 62 years. You must be...old." Phineas remarked, fascinated with what he had just heard.

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Why would you spend 62 years trying to catch something when it's obvious it can't be done?" Isabella pondered.

"Because, children, I..." The coyote stopped himself for a moment and actually gave a thought on that question. It had never occurred to him that he had been doing the same thing for 62 years and constantly failing at it. "A-Actually, I-I don't really know. I-I've been chasing that bird for so long I've...I've kinda forgotten why I started doing it in the first place. It kinda seems pointless now."

"Exactly. Besides, who needs 20 grand anyway?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Oh yeah, the mayor of our home town is offering $20,000 to anyone who can capture the Roadrunner."

"$20,000?' The coyote stared at the kids for a moment, processing what Phineas had just said. After he did so, he turned around and quickly darted away from them, off to try yet again to capture the Roadrunner, this time, with a new purpose. The kids exchanged looks, but ultimately decided to simply ignore it and head back home. As they were walking home, they heard a growling sound beneath them. It was Perry, who had returned to them after his bout with Doofenshmirtz.

"Oh, there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 53a!**

**A/N: Just for the record, their attempts to capture the Roadrunner aren't actually original. I parodied some of them from actual "Roadrunner & Wile E. Coyote" cartoons, including the most recent ones from "The Looney Tunes Show". They're not mine at all. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway.**

**Next Time: ****Attack of the Martians: When Phineas & Ferb travel to space to explore the "dark side of the moon", they come across a super-genius Martian (Marvin the Martian) whose one goal in life is to destroy the Earth. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz drives himself crazy after he discovers that one of his -inator blueprints has been stolen.**


	65. 53b: Attack of the Martians

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 53b: Attack of the Martians**

**Episode Summary************************************************: When Phineas & Ferb travel to space to explore the "dark side of the moon", they come across a super-genius Martian (Marvin the Martian) whose one goal in life is to destroy the Earth, and this time, he might actually have a weapon that can do that. Too bad he stole the plans for that weapon from Doofenshmirtz. (Unintentionally, of course)**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another late summer day in Danville was blossoming. Beautiful weather, hot sun, and plenty of summer left for Phineas and Ferb, and they weren't wasting any time. In fact, already, they were in the middle of their project. They had built a rocket ship, and invited their friends Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet along with them, as they traveled up into space to explore the moon.

"But Phineas, haven't we all already gone to the moon?" Isabella questioned.

"Yes, but this time, Isabella, we're not just going to the moon." Phineas explained. "This time, we're going to the "dark side" of the moon."

"The dark side?" Baljeet scoffed. "You must be kidding. There is nothing different about the "dark side" of the moon, except that the light from the sun does not reach that area."

"Why must you be such a buzzkill about everything, nerd?" Buford turned to Baljeet, prepared to give him a wedgie through his space suit.

"I am not being a "buzzkill". I am simply explaining the mechanics of the dark side of the moon so we do not have to waste our time on such a frivolous activity."

"That _is_ being a buzzkill." Isabella corrected him. "Now stop being one so we can enjoy this activity Phineas and Ferb planned for us."

"Thank you, Isabella." Phineas said, kissing her gently on the kiss, and then glaring at Baljeet momentarily before turning his attention back to his navigation.

It didn't take long for the gang to arrive at the moon. They landed safely on the "light side" of the moon, and slowly exited the rocket ship. "According to our calculations, the dark side of the moon begins exactly 50 paces from this exact spot. So let's head out, guys!"

The kids all set off, carefully counting their paces, until they reached 50. Once they hit that magic number, they looked up, and then at each other, and only then did they realize that their vision was obscured by sudden darkness. "I think we made it to the dark side." Baljeet said.

"No. Really? What gave you that idea?" Buford sarcastically responded.

"Let's see if our flashlights work out here." Phineas, Ferb, and the others all took out there flashlights and turned them on, and instantly, their vision was much better. Unfortunately, the first thing they saw was a bunch of weird-looking creatures that appeared to resemble green Dodo birds. The Dodo birds all attacked and grabbed the kids, dragging them deeper to the dark side of the moon, where they were subsequently tied up and thrown onto the ground.

More lights went on abruptly and the Dodo birds all moved out of the way to make a pathway, as a small figure started walking towards them. The figured had a green helmet on with what looked like a broom on top, and a green skirt on to match. The figure appeared to have no mouth what so ever. "It appears as though we have some unwanted guests." He spoke maliciously. "This will not do at all."

The figure walked slowly up to the tied up children. "And to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"Hello, strange creature. We're from planet Earth." Phineas responded, once again, optimistically. "My name's Phineas, and these are my friends, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet."

"From planet Earth, you say?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. That means you're just in time."

"Just in time for what? Are you having a party or something?"

"No, dear child. I'm not having a party. I am going to destroy the planet Earth, and you are all in time to watch me do it."

"Oh, well that's great. I hope you do-wait, what!" Phineas's overwhelming optimism temporarily overshadowed the possibility that he could actually lose his home planet. "Yo-You can't do that! You can't blow up the Earth."

"Oh, I believe I can, dear child. I have just the weapon to do it as well. Come, follow me." He said, turning around and trotting away. The Dodo birds picked up the kids, who were still tied together, and carried them along as they followed the figure.

They followed him for a short time before he stopped before a giant laser that was apparently aimed for the planet Earth. "Oh dear. It has just occurred to me that I have failed to introduce myself." The figure returned his attention to the children. Salutations, I am known as Marvin; Marvin the Martian."

"You're a Martian?" Phineas inquired. "But how can you be a Martian? We're on the moon, not on Mars."

"Yes, you cannot be a Martian if you are not from Mars." Baljeet argued.

"For your information, children, I _am_ from Mars."

"Then what are you doing here on the moon?" Ferb asked him. "What's wrong with Mars."

"I don't believe it makes a difference where and how I destroy the Earth, does it? I don't think so. But, if you must know, every year on Mars, us Martians gather together, and one of us is randomly chosen for a ritual we call "Blowing a Random Planet to Bits", and this year, I was chosen. Then, a random planet in the galaxy is also randomly chosen for us to destroy. We get one chance only to do so, but we may do so in any way we want. If we succeed, we are rewarded with a big feast and a parade in our honor."

"Wow. Usually, when Ferb and I do a good job, our Mom just gives us an extra slice of cake for dessert."

"However, should we fail, we are punished. Last year's punishment was a 14-hour mud bath with pigs."

"Well a mud bath doesn't sound so bad."

"You don't understand. Our "mud" isn't like your "mud"."

"I-I don't quite understand."

"It's better if you don't." Isabella said quickly, as she and the others instantly knew what Marvin meant. (**I'm not actually going to say it, but if you think really hard, you'll figure it out**)

"What? What?"

"Never mind. Just forget I ever said anything. Enough small talk! Now is the time for me to destroy the planet Earth with my giant laser!"

"Well, you can try all you want, but it won't work." Phineas calmly responded.

"What? You dare question my intellect?"

"No, I'm questioning your weapon's capability. I can see the wiring you did from way over here, and it's all wrong. You'll never get a proper laser beam with this thing that way. Here." Phineas proceeded to untie himself and his friends, and walked over to the laser. He got down on his knees and started fiddling around with the wiring. Marvin thought, naturally, that Phineas was trying to sabotage his weapon. "Here. Aim it at an asteroid."

"If you did anything to sabotage my weapon, you will surely be sorry." He warned, walking over to the control panel, aiming the laser at a nearby asteroid, and then pressed the button that fired. A laser beam shot out and blew up the asteroid on impact. "Oh, happy day! It works! And even better than I expected."

"Now you can use your device to its fullest potential."

"Oh, it's not really my device."

"What?"

"Yes. I traveled to Earth a short time ago and found the blueprints just lying on the streets. So I just took them back here."

"You found the blueprints to a super deadly laser just lying on the streets of Danville?" Isabella inquired.

"That's just careless." Buford retorted.

"Isn't it? I can't believe nobody was using it."

* * *

Meanwhile, down on Earth, specifically in Danville, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was running around in circles in his lair. Why? Because his plans for a giant laser were stolen. (Yes, by Marvin). "AHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's wrong, sir?" Norm asked him.

"I'll tell you what's wrong!" Doofenshmirtz stopped in his tracks and looked square at his robot assistant. "I was going to build my giant "Super-Laser-Thingy-inator" today, but I can't find the blueprints."

"Weren't those the blueprints that you threw out yesterday? The ones that you said were totally useless?"

"Yes, yes, but that was...oh." Doofenshmirtz took a brief moment to flash back, and then started panicking again. "Oh no! This is horrible! Perry the Platypus is sure to be here any moment, and I don't have an evil scheme ready!"

* * *

Meanwhile, speaking of Perry, he was down under in his lair, about to receive his mission from his boss. "Good morning, Agent P. We've got an update on your nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. According to our Intel, your nemesis is currently running around his lair, in a panic." Monogram laid out the details for Perry, and was replied with a moment of silence. "What?"

"Sir, is Dr. Doofenshmirtz actually up to anything suspicious?" Carl asked on the other side. "Because it sounds to me that right now, he's just acting like an idiot."

"OK, OK, so it's a slow day! It's not like we had anything better to do." Monogram, frustrated, turned back to Perry. "Look, apparently, he had this -inator he wanted to build, but lost the blueprints to it or something, and now he's in a frenzy trying to put an evil scheme together."

"Like I said, acting like an idiot." Carl reiterated.

"Carl!" Monogram sighed. "Look, Agent P, why don't you just head down to his lair and see if you can't calm him down or something."

Perry hesitantly saluted his boss, and ran out of his lair to head over to Doofenshmirtz's. Using his scooter, he easily cruised over there without being noticed by anyone. He arrived at the front of his lair, and casually strolled in through the front, instead of using his grappling hook to enter through the roof. He decided to "mix it up" a little bit.

He approached Doofenshmirtz's door, and knocked casually twice. Doofenshmirtz opened the door, and expressed a look of surprise and panic on his face. "Perry the Platypus?" He shrieked. "Y-You're early! Oh boy, this is so unexpected. And by unexpected, I mean...unexpected." He led Perry inside. "You see, I-I had an -inator all ready to build, but I lost the blueprints to them, and now I don't have my invention ready, or even a trap ready for you. Boy, I have never felt so embarrassed."

"What about the time that embarrassing video of you from high school leaked onto the internet?" Norm reminded him.

"Quiet, Norm! This isn't your concern! Oh boy, I am in quite a predicament here." He turned hesitantly to his nemesis. "So...Perry the Platypus...since I don't have an evil scheme planned for today, and my daughter Vanessa is out with her mother, perhaps you and I can just...just hang out and..." Before Doofenshmirtz could say anything more, Perry turned around and walked right out the door. "Oh, no? You have other plans. OK, tha-that's fine, Perry the Platypus. I guess you're busy today."

"No he's not." Norm again responded.

"Norm!"

"Sorry. I tell it like it is, sir."

"I wish you would stop that. It's annoying."

* * *

Back on the moon, the kids had their own issues with a Martian with a goal to destroy the Earth.

"Thank you, children, for assisting me in fixing my laser." Marvin thanked them.

"Are you sure there isn't anything we can do or say to talk you out of this?" Phineas asked him. "We really like our home planet. There's beautiful summer days, the gorgeous pools, the wonderful people..."

"And there's so much to do down there and so many people to meet." Isabella interrupted. "Like Phineas." She responded by kissing the boy.

"I'm sure there are, children. But I have an obligation to fulfill." Marvin responded, resetting his coordinates to Earth. "I'm sorry you feel so strongly for your planet, but I either succeed in my calling or face severe punishment. You wouldn't want to endure a mud bath on Mars, would you?"

"Well..."

"HALT, EVIL DOER!" A voice that seemingly came from nowhere shouted. The kids and Marvin all looked around to see where the voice came from.

"Who said that?" Ferb asked, having not seen where the voice came from.

"I DID!" The voice shouted again. This time, they followed the sound of the voice up towards the blackness of space, and they saw a stranger looking figure float slowly down to the surface. The figure appeared to be a duck of some sorts wearing an ugly green costume. "It is I, Duck Dodgers, in the 24 1/2 century!" He announced heroically. (And yes, it's Daffy)

"But it's only 2011." Phineas pointed out.

"Kid, don't ruin the moment. Stand down, Martian! Or face the wrath of the mighty Duck Dodgers!" He raised his fist triumphantly, as if threatening violence unless Marvin did what he asked.

"Daffy, why are you wearing that ridiculous costume?" Marvin asked him, clearly unimpressed. "In fact, how did you even get up here?"

"That, my friend, is not of importance at the moment. Besides, I have no idea. Anywho, stand down, Martian! Or face the wrath of-"

"You already said that, moron." Buford plainly said, also unimpressed.

"Oh. Right." Duck Dodgers cleared his throat. "Your plans to blow up the Earth are about to be foiled. So brace yourself!" He marched over to the giant laser.

"What are you possibly planning to do about it?" Marvin asked.

"I'm going to lift this thing with my bare hands, and throw it off of the moon in one fell-" Dodgers proceeded to lift the giant laser with his hands. The only problem was, when he attempted to do so, he immediately threw his back out. "AAAHHHHHHHHHH! My back!" He hunched over and released his grip on the laser. "Ow! That really hurts! Ow! Why did I do that? Why didn't any of you stop me?"

"Because we thought you could do it." Phineas responded. "You're a super hero, aren't you?"

"I can't believe we are actually resorting to using the Looney Tunes to advance our stories." Baljeet mumbled under his breath.

"We _must_ be getting close to the end." Ferb remarked back to him. (**A/N: And by "the end", I mean the end of this Fanfiction**)

"Daffy, this is nothing but a waste of my time, and everyone else's time. Now, if you don't mind, I must get back to destroying the Earth." Marvin walked back to his laser beam, and proceeded to activate it.

"Well, guys, I guess there goes the best planet we ever lived on." Phineas responded, and suddenly, his tone become a little more weary.

"Phineas, it's the _only_ planet we've ever lived on." Isabella reminded him.

"Don't ruin the moment."

"Silence! Now begins the destruction of your planet-" Marvin pressed a button on his control pad. (Note how I said "a" button) His intention was to activate his laser and destroy the Earth, but instead, he pressed the wrong button, the "self-destruct" button, and, as the name implied, the laser instantly blew up, ruining any chance Marvin had of achieving his dream.

Back down on Earth, the explosion was so large that it caught the attention of several people in the Tri-State Area, including Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Norm.

"Huh. What do you think of that, Norm?" Doofenshmirtz asked, eyeing the explosion from his lair. While he couldn't see the moon, he saw a spark of the explosion the destruction of Marvin's laser made.

"I think the moon explodiated." Norm responded.

"Norm, for the last time, it's "exploded"! Jeez, stop talking like a child. Use real words."

"I can't help it. It's so much more fun."

As for Marvin, he couldn't help but look on as his laser went up in flames. There was absolutely no chance that it would continue to work properly after that. None of the kids dared to say anything in response to the explosion. Not even Duck Dodgers said anything. "M-My laser!" Marvin finally shouted after a long period of silence only broken by the sounds of the combustion. "What happened to my laser?"

"You must have hit the wrong button." Phineas responded.

"Was the button you pushed red?" Baljeet asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"Then that is the problem. The red button is always a bad choice."

"That's just a dumb movie cliche." Phineas argued.

"Not anymore it's not."

"Ha ha! Once again, the forces of good have triumphed over the forces of idiot!" Duck Dodgers victoriously announced. "Your plans have been foiled, Marvin the Martian! I have conquered you and have rendered you weaponless! HA HA!"

"You realize that you didn't actually do anything, right?" Isabella corrected him. "Marvin the Martian was foiled by his own tomfoolery and ignorance."

"OK, OK, I get it!" Marvin shouted, frustrated by the others. "Can we please drop the subject of how I failed to destroy the Earth and will now have to endure a severe and mind-traumatizing punishment from my fellow Martians?"

"Really? Well, that stinks for you." Dodgers couldn't really grasp the idea of what Marvin was getting at. "But that's what you get for trying to blow up the Earth."

"Well, this has all been fun, but we have to get back to Earth." Phineas interrupted, as the kids started to turn around and head back towards their ship.

"Wait, you are leaving?" Marvin asked them.

"Yeah. Tonight's hamburger night. Gotta love Mom's hamburgers."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"You're a Martian. Just do what other Martians would do." That was the last word that any of the kids spoke to Marvin or Duck Dodgers, as they all headed back to the ship, and shortly after, took off for home, leaving the super hero and the Martian there to dwell.

"Well, that was certainly...strange."

"I don't know about you. But I have lives to save. Duck Dodgers...AWAY!" Duck Dodgers jumped into the air and assumed a superhero flying pose, planning to take off. It was then that he came to a realization. "Wait a minute...I can't fly. I can't even breath in space!" He took a large gulp, and the started floating away through space, screaming his head off.

"Well, that was interesting." Marvin said to himself. He stayed put for a brief moment to reflect on his day, when all of a sudden, he found himself being engulfed in some sort of beam. "Oh no. I am being transported back to Mars!" He shouted, as he was indeed transported back to his home planet. He was met with a large crowd of eyes including Dodo birds, his dog, K-9, and other Martians. At first, he was expecting to be scorn for his utter failure, and that's why he was taken by surprise when he was met with loud and encouraging applause. "What? What's going on?"

"Congratulations, Marvin!" The elder Martian, who sat on his throne, said to him.

"Congratulations to what? I failed."

"No you did not. Your laser succeeded in destroying the asteroid labeled Earth."

"My laser self-destructed and I see that as no cause for cele-wait, what? What was that you said?"

"You destroyed an asteroid labeled "Earth". You have succeeded in your mission."

"I-I'm afraid I don't understand. You mean to tell me that there's an asteroid named after Earth?"

"Not anymore, there's not." He responded, as everyone, except for Marvin, broke out into laughter. Marvin couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was so convinced that he would be facing a severe punishment, and instead, he was being treated like a hero. He lowered his eyebrows and took in a deep breath.

"I hate being a Martian." Marvin said quietly so none of the other Martians would hear him. He turned around and saw Duck Dodgers floating right by Mars, still screaming, and decided to turn away and walk from the scene.

* * *

Back on Earth, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was preparing his lunch for the day, still mulling over the loss of his blueprints. "Well, this day has certainly been...interesting, to say the least." He said to himself as he set his plat down. "I wonder if things will continue to get weirder."

As if on a cue, lights began sparkling right beside Doofenshmirtz, and in an instant, Marvin appeared, with the blueprints to the laser in hand. "Here! Take your blueprints back!" He shouted, throwing them in his face. "You should be ashamed of yourself for creating such a hideous device!" And as quickly as Marvin appeared, he disappeared in a ray of lights. Doofenshmirtz remained silent for a couple of moments as he opened up the blueprints and saw that they were indeed the blueprints to his laser.

"Huh. What do you know? An evil Martian stole my blueprints. Yep, this day certainly got weirder."

"Who was that, sir?" Norm asked, walking into the room.

"I-I don't know, Norm."

"Was it a friend of yours?"

"No."

"Then I don't care." He responded monotone, and the walked out of the room, leaving a very confused Dr. Doofenshmirtz in the kitchen to eat his dinner with his blueprints. He was thinking about retaliating against Norm's comment. But then he decided that he wasn't in the mood, and simply went back to eating his lunch.

**_That's all, folks!_**

**End of Episode 53b!**

**A/N: The next episode of this series will be continued through my next FanFiction, entitled "Worldwide". You can read the summary on my profile page, but just in case.**

**Next Time: ****Isabella is invited on a country-wide, week long cruise as part of an elective she is taking during the school year. The problem is, not only is the cruise mandatory, but she can't take Phineas with her. How will Phineas take it, and will be able to make it without his beloved Isabella? Meanwhile, when Candace discovers Jeremy and his band were invited to play for the royal family, old feelings come up. **


	66. 54a: The Magic of Magic

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 54a: The Magic of Magic**

**Episode Summary: The Magic of Magic: After Isabella tells him that she was once infatuated by the art of magic, Phineas tries to impress her by becoming a rookie magician, with help from Ferb, of course. But, will he able to pull a rabbit out of his hat? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz dabbles into the mystic art of giving himself supernatural powers.**

**********************************************************A/N: Thanks to MrNeato for the idea**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun blared down on the streets of Danville. It was already mid-morning, and Phineas & Ferb decided to get their big idea from watching TV. As usual, Isabella was with them, enjoying the time she was spending with Phineas.

Today, they were watching an old 1970's magic show, which Isabella seemed to enjoy more than the boys. "Wow, Isabella, you sure seems to be enjoying this magic show." Phineas said to her attentive girlfriend.

"No, it's not that. It's just, well, when I was younger, before I moved here, I used to watch this famous magician all the time, "The Amazing DiPaolo."

"Hey, I've heard of him." Phineas commented. "He used to be considered one of the best magicians of all time."

"And then he tried to escape from a straitjacket while being dunked in a shark tank." Ferb remembered; the three kids responded with dejected sighs.

"Yeah, that was considered the worst tragedy in the history of the magic world." Isabella continued.

"Isabella, how come I never knew you used to like magic?" Phineas questioned his girlfriend.

"Because it was such a long time ago. When that magician met his tragic fate, I realized that none of it was really real. I mean, it was always entertaining and such, but it wasn't real. I guess you could say I outgrew it. Anyway, it doesn't really matter now." She stood up and started walking towards the stairs. "Excuse me, while I use the bathroom."

She quietly escorted herself up to the restroom, leaving the two stepbrothers in the living room, still watching TV. "Well, that's a shame." Phineas finally said after a brief silence. "I bet you and I could've created the most spectacular magic show ever!"

"So why don't we?" Ferb suggested. "We _are_ at a loss for ideas, after all, and it would be something different for us."

"Hey, you're right, Ferb. In that case, I know what we're gonna do today! But let's do it quick, so Isabella doesn't find out. I want it to be a surprise for her. We can even get Perry to help out with-" He turned towards the kitchen, expecting to see his pet platypus eating his breakfast. But to his surprise (not really. Remember, only Phineas knows Perry's secret) Perry was gone. "Hey, where'd he go?"

* * *

Perry sneaked into Candace's room, slid under her bed while she was gone, and dropped through a tube that led straight to his lair, where his boss was waiting on the other side. Literally, he was standing, in person, in Perry's lair. "Good morning, Agent P. The video monitor is down, so I've come in person to deliver you your mission."

Perry approached his boss and was handed a file. "Over the past several hours, our sources have caught Doofenshmirtz tampering with several unstable elements. We have come to the conclusion that he is tampering with the notion of trying to acquire super natural abilities." He gave a little laugh. "That moron actually thinks it's humanely possible to acquire super powers like that. Anyhoo, I want you to track him down and stop him from going through with this...this rather strange plan of his, before anyone gets hurt. Good luck, Agent P."

They exchanged salutes before Perry rushed off out of his lair towards Doofenshmirtz's lair. He took his hover car with him, and in no time at all, arrived at his nemesis' lair.

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Immediately, Perry noticed that a giant tunnel was connected from his apartment room all the way down to the street. It appeared as though Doofenshmirtz was expecting Perry's arrival, and heavily anticipated it, even setting up a way to easily access his lair. Perry, though skeptical of the tunnel itself, decided to proceed through it anyway. He crawled through it quickly, not wasting any time, and found himself within his lair before he knew it.

To his surprise, he didn't spot his nemesis right away, scanning the room at all corners. But his concerns quickly disappeared once he looked up and saw a glass tube drop on him, trapping him within.

"Perry the Platypus, what a nice surprise." The menacing evil genius spoke, stepping into the light, wearing an unusual costume that bared a striking resemblance to Spiderman's Black Suit. "Do you like my costume? It's Spiderman's black suit. And no, this isn't some cheap knock-off. This is the actual black suit that Tobey Maguire used while filming "Spiderman 3". Isn't that cool? I bought it off of Ebay, and all it cost me was my entire alimony check for the month." He stood there in a heroic pose momentarily until he realized what he had actually done. "Huh. Not a very good financial decision on my part."

He quickly regained some confidence and walked away from Perry, only to return with a small, silver disk-shaped platform, which he promptly placed on the ground. "Now, for my invention..." A brief pause followed. "You know, would you believe that I actually don't have a name for this invention? Yeesh, after all of my "-inator" names, you would think that I would have at least one clever name ready. OH well, I'm sure it will come to me soon."

"But enough about that. Let me show you what my invention can do." He stepped onto the pad. "See, I've been tampering with some highly unstable elements, and if my theory is correct, if they are mixed together in the proper order, I can manipulate their structures and absorb them through my skin, allowing me to enhance my own natural abilities while providing additional "super natural" abilities, if you catch my drift. And, if my theory is not correct, and this goes horribly wrong, I'll probably die. But, you know, no pressure."

* * *

Back in the neighborhood, Phineas & Ferb were hard at work, setting everything up for their big "magic show". It took no time at all to just build the stage. The hard part for them was coming up with a routine. They were going through some books on magic that they had when Isabella's Fireside Girl troop showed up.

"Hey guys!" Adyson shouted, getting their attention.

"Oh, hey." Phineas looked up from his book momentarily.

"What are you guys up to today?"

"We're going to put on a magic show."

"A magic show? What for?"

"Because his girlfriend used to like magicians." Ferb responded, rather flatly.

"Ferb!"

"What? It's the truth."

Phineas sighed and shook his head.

"I think that sounds kinda neat." Gretchen said, who was a bit of a fan of magic herself.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Can we do anything to help?"

"Actually, would you mind keeping Isabella busy for a little while? We still need to work on our routine."

"Sure. We can do that. We're experts at distracting people. In fact, just the other day, we all earned out "Creating an Appropriate Distraction" patch."

"Jeez, you guys have patches for everything. Is there anything patches don't exist for?"

"Well, there's no patch for resurrecting the dead." Milly flatly said, to which everyone turned to face her. "What? It's true."

"You know, that _does_ sound like a good idea. Mind if we borrow it someday?" Phineas asked, to which everyone turned their attention back to him. "Anyway, she's upstairs using the restroom. She should be out by now."

"Excellent. Come on girls. Let's unleash Operation: Distract Our Leader." Adyson shouted.

"Wait, you already have a plan for distracting Isabella?"

"Fireside Girls are _always _prepared. Always." She responded, to which all of the girls shouted in joy and followed Adyson as they entered the house and headed up the stairs, ready to distract Isabella and let Phineas & Ferb continue working on their magic.

The girls managed to keep their troop leader busy for a few hours until Phineas called Adyson up on his cell phone, and alerted her that they were finished. So they brought her back to Phineas & Ferb's backyard, where the troop leader was still skeptical concerning her friends' behavior.

"Girls, what is going on?" She asked them, finally, after becoming frustrated with their secrecy. "You've led me around the neighborhood for 2 hours now, and I'm starting to get a bit suspicious. Are you hiding something from me?"

"Us? Hiding something from you?" Ginger mockingly asked.

"We're not hiding anything, Isabella." Adyson said. "Honest. We just wanted to hang out with you, that's all. Not as troop leader and troop, but friends."

"Well, I guess I could believe that, except for the fact that you had be walking in circles around your house the entire time?"

"So?" Adyson and the rest of the girls stopped in their tracks when they discovered that they were about to enter the backyard, and the gate in front of them was closed. "Oh, well what do you know? We're back at Phineas and Ferb's house."

"You guys..." Isabella was about to scold her friends, when at that moment, a giant cloud of smoke appeared out of nowhere, and before they knew it, they all saw Phineas standing there, in a regular magician's attire.

"Hello there, ladies!" He said to them. "And welcome to what I assure you is the greatest magic show on the face of this Earth!"

"Phineas? Since when are _you_ a magician?" Isabella asked, surprised to see her boyfriend in such an attire.

"Since this morning. Now come on, ladies. Have we got a show for you!" Phineas reached into his pocket, pulled out a tiny little ball, and threw it on the ground. They were all covered in smoke, and transported to the backyard, where the girls all found themselves sitting in wooden chairs, with Phineas standing on a big stage in front of them. "Welcome, ladies! It is my pleasure to present to you..."The Most Phintastic Ferbulous Magic Show Ever"!"

"Ooh, this should be fun." Isabella said quietly.

"For our first trick, Ferb and I will turn an ordinary, lifeless action figure into an animated object!" Phineas announced, as he momentarily ran off the stage to acquire the materials needed to do so.

"Can't Phineas and Ferb already do that?" Adyson whispered to Isabella.

"Of course they can."

"So why are they putting on this "magic show" for us when they can already do all of this stuff with technology?"

"I think Phineas is doing this because of me." She responded, rather feverishly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, earlier today, he, Ferb, and I were watching an old magic show from back when we were little, and I may have let it slip that I was once interested in magic."

"So? What's the big deal?"

"You know how Phineas can get sometimes. You know, going overboard with trying to please me."

"Have you ever thought that he and Ferb just really wanted to put on a magic show?"

"Yes! Maybe..." Isabella started to rethink things. It did not occur to Isabella that Phineas's little stunt could actually just be one of their big ideas. But before she could ponder it for any length, Phineas came back onto the stage, along with the action figure, a fake magic wand (which was, of course, souped up by technology), and his assistant, Ferb, who was wearing a blond wig and a pink dress. The girls all started laughing as soon as they saw Ferb.

"And now, for your viewing pleasure, we are going to turn this ordinary action figure into an animated object." Phineas announced, as he waved his wand around momentarily before pointing it at the action figure. A bright light shined off of the tip, and a beam of energy struck it. It momentarily dazzled the girls, and after it dispersed, the action figure tipped over onto its back.

Everyone waited anxiously for something to happen. Not even 10 seconds passed before something did happen. The action figure, slowly but steadily, started moving around. It stood up all by itself, to the amazement of the girls, and faced Phineas all on its own. The girls let out "ooh's" and "aah's" repeatedly. "Wait! Wanna see it talk?" Phineas asked them, to which they nodded. Phineas pointed his wand at the now mobile action figure, and shot another beam of energy at it.

After a few more moments, the action figure turned to the audience. The girls waited for something to happen, and finally, something did happen. "Hello, children." The action figure spoke in monotone to the girls. They all gasped and exchanged glances to each other with smiles on their faces.

"I knew you'd like that." Phineas said after allowing the girls to calm themselves. "But hold yourselves together, girls. It's only the first act."

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, the evil, and somewhat misguided scientist, was preparing himself to dabble into the art of supernatural abilities. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! With my newest creation, I am about to give myself all of the supernatural abilities that Spiderman possesses!" Doofenshmirtz set down his platform, turned it on, and stepped onto it. "Any second now..." The platform began emitting a bright green light that soon surrounded him. "Yes! It's working! It's working!"

The light grew brighter and brighter until it was far too blinding for Doofenshmirtz, and he had to cover his eyes just to protect his eyesight. Once the lights did disappear, Doofenshmirtz reopened his eyes and looked around for a moment. He held out his arms and his hands to see if his invention worked. "Huh. That's strange. It seems my invention has malfunctioned..." But then he heard a loud splat. It startled him, as he hastily scanned the room around him, looking for a sign.

Then he looked down at the floor and noticed a spider web that was not there before. "Where did that spider web come from..." Then he heard another splat, and turned around to see another spider web on the floor that wasn't there before. "And that one! I don't remember a web being there! That's impossible. My invention didn't...oh, no. Wait. I get it." It was then that he realized what was going on. Instead of the invention allowing him to shoot webs out of his wrists... "OK, OK, I get it! I can shoot webs out of my butt! I get it! Ugh, no need to remind me."

He walked over to his invention and picked it up. "This thing clearly needs to be tweaked a little. Could you give me a moment, Perry the Platypus?" He turned away, taking his invention and heading across the room to fix his invention.

Perry saw this as an opportunity to escape from his glass tube trap. He took out a laser pen and started drawing up a small circle in the glass as a way to escape. The hole was just big enough for him to slip through it without drawing too much attention. He ran across the room, closing in on Doofenshmirtz, but before getting too close, he ducked behind some plants to avoid being spotted. It was at that point that Doofenshmirtz was finishing up fixing his creation.

"OK, Perry the Platypus, I'm back..." He said, approaching the glass tube where he trapped his nemesis, only to find that he had escaped. He gasped upon noticing. "Perry the Platypus! He has escaped! No matter, though. I will find him...with my new spider sense." He placed his invention down on the ground, and stepped on it. "Now, with this invention, I will be invincible!" But his rant was cut short when Perry jumped out of nowhere and tackled him to the ground, wrestling him away from his invention.

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas & Ferb continued to dazzle the Fireside Girls with their amazing magic tricks (which were all tainted by the power of technology)

"And now, for our next trick, we are going to saw one of you lucky ladies in half." Phineas announced. "May we have a volunteer?" As Ferb brought out the box and the tools necessary to do the tricks, the girls all refused initially. "How about this cute little girl right here?" But once Phineas called on Isabella, she couldn't help herself and broke out into squeals of joy. She was helped onto the stage by Phineas and helped into the box where Phineas would saw her in half.

_He called me cute!_ Isabella thought to herself. "Phineas, this is safe, right?"

"Of course, Isabella. I wouldn't think of hurting any of my lovely volunteers." He said in a rather flirtatious tone, which caused her to blush madly. He helped her into the box and set up the trick. "Now just relax and let the magician do his work." He picked up one of his tools and turned it on, revealing an extremely sharp blade that was designed to cut through the box in one fell swoop. In an instance, he lifted the saw up and brought it back down, cutting the box perfectly in half, as well as Isabella's body. The girls all screamed upon witnessing this, assuming that Phineas had just harmed his girlfriend.

Then, with Ferb's help, he set the boxes down upright on the ground, and opened them, revealing that not only had Isabella survived the procedure, but it had gone perfectly. He helped the disembodied girl out of the boxes to reveal that she had been split perfectly in half: one half was Isabella's head down to her stomach, and the other half was her waist down to her feet.

"Hey!" Isabella shouted, realizing what had just happened. "I'm split in half! Phineas, you did it!" The girls all started cheering for them. "OK, now put me back together."

"No problem." He and Ferb helped Isabella back into the boxes, put them back together, and then, with a flick of his wand, turned them back into one box, thus restoring Isabella back to the way it was. He opened the one box and revealed a full-body Isabella to the girls, whom all cheered. "There you go. I told you nothing bad would happen."

"I had faith in you, _The Amazing Phineas_." She whispered the last three words to him, and then leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Phineas blushed and laughed while Isabella returned to her seat. "OK, and now, for our last trick of the night - the grand finale - we're going to let you go with a little fireworks show. Ready, Ferb?"

Ferb took out a bunch of ordinary soda cans and set them down in a line. Then he gave Phineas a thumbs up.

"Great! Then let's do this!" Phineas lifted his wand, aimed it at the cans, and let our several simultaneous waves of energy at them. In an instant, the cans began to crack and shake uncontrollably. Sparks began flying, and after a brief minute, the cans opened up, and fireworks began flying out into the sky. The show was quite spectacular and the girls seemed to enjoy it very much. But some of the fireworks managed to get away. Two in particular.

The first spiraled out of control and crashed into Cleveland Brown's house just a few blocks down the street. You know what happens next.

The second kept flying and flying until it reached Dr. Doofenshmirtz's building, as he and Perry were still battling, with the former gaining the upper hand. He pinned down Perry and grabbed his device, ready to transform into a super human. "Ha ha! I've got you now, Perry the Platypus!" He shouted, stepping onto the platform. "Prepare to be destroyed by the mighty power of-"

And just like that, the second malfunctioning firework crashed into the building, destroying the exterior, as well as the device, much to Doofenshmirtz's disappointment. "Oh no! My machine is ruined!" He shouted. "This is terrible! I mean, terrible not because I can't use it to defeat you, Perry the Platypus. But I had a reverse switch on this. I was going to use it to rid myself of this awful curse! I don't want to spend the rest of my life shooting webs out of my-" It was only then that he realized that his nemesis had long disappeared, back to his pet persona. "And I'm talking to nobody."

* * *

Back in Danville, long after the magic show had ceased, Phineas & Ferb were just finishing up the cleaning phase of the day. The stage was gone, their attires were retired, and all was well. Isabella decided to talk to her boyfriend. "Hi, Phineas." She spoke in a flirtatious tone.

"Hey, Isabella. Did you enjoy the show?" He asked, to which she giggled.

"I sure did. I didn't know you could dabble into the world of magic like that." She said, as she drew closer to him. "That was quite a performance." She turned to Ferb. "You did great too, Ferb." She said with a giggling, reminiscing the fact that Ferb spent the entire performance wearing a dress. "I still can't believe Phineas talked you into wearing a dress." She broke out into laughter, as did Phineas soon after. But Ferb, clever as ever, had a comeback ready.

"Well, at least I _wore_ clothes." He said flatly, referencing Phineas & Isabella's many "nighttime affairs". (**AKA "The Talk"**) Phineas & Isabella both stopped laughing as the former glared at him.

"Dude, that was cold."

"You started it." Ferb responded as he left the two alone.

"Ignore him, Phineas." Isabella said, returning to their conversation. "You really put on a great show."

"Thanks." He reached into his short sleeve and pulled out a flower. "Here. Consider it a souvenir." Isabella promptly took it and gave a laugh. "So, did it bring up any memories of when you used to love magic?"

"Honestly...no. No it didn't."

"Then why do you say you enjoyed it?"

"I enjoyed it because _you_ did it, Phineas." She kissed him on his forehead and proceeded to hug him. "It was wonderful. I know you did it just for me, and you looked so cute in your little magician's outfit."

"Really?'

"Uh-huh. But I'm certainly glad you're not wearing it because you looked much cuter just the way you are." She kissed him again, and then gave a tap on his rear end. "Now come on, let's go inside. I'm sure your mom has something delicious cooking for dinner."

"Doesn't she always?" He joked with her as they took each other's hand and started to make their way inside. As they did, they heard a growling noise. They looked down to see that Perry was back. "Oh, there you are, Perry."

**End of Episode 54a!**

**Sorry it took so long. Curse you, writer's block! (That, and I just bought myself a PS3 and a copy of "MLB 11 The Show")**

**Next Time:******** Phineas and Ferb create a super-quick invisible bug trap to rid their home of unwanted bugs after an unexpected infestation. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz develops an army of "super rats" using science in an attempt to bury the Tri-State Area in filth and unwanted vermon.**


	67. 54b: Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 54b: Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite**

**Episode Summary: Phineas and Ferb create a super-quick invisible bug trap to rid their home of unwanted bugs after an unexpected infestation. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz develops an army of "super rats" using science in an attempt to bury the Tri-State Area in filth and unwanted vermin.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The moon was up, and everyone was settling into their beds for another good night sleep. Phineas & Ferb (as well as Isabella, who, like any other night, was ready to get a good night's sleep with Phineas) quickly changed into their pajamas, and crawled into bed (in Isabella's case, Phineas's bed).

The night was pretty much uneventful for everyone. They all rested up nicely throughout the night, but it was when the sun started to shine through the windows of the Flynn-Fletcher home that things began to spiral out of control.

As Linda was awakening from her sleep, she slowly removed her blindfolds and cleared her vision. She could see something unusual on her blankets, looking right at her. As soon as she was able to tell what it was, she screamed. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed just like Candace used to. (At least we know where she gets it from.) Everyone was instantly awakened by the sounds of the scream. Phineas, Ferb, Candace, & Isabella rushed into the room. (By this point, Linda, Lawrence, and Candace were well aware that Isabella came over every night just to be with Phineas, and they decided not to object to it.)

"Mom, what happened?" Phineas asked, as soon, they all saw what Linda saw: a furry, dirty rat on the bed. "Ew, what _is _that thing?"

"It's a rat!" She shouted back, as she hastily got out of the bed and joined the others. Lawrence came into the room, back from the restroom.

"What's all the commotion about...oh dear." It was then that he, as well, saw the rat. "It looks like we have an infestation."

"Oh no. It's just _one_ little rat, Lawrence!" Linda protested. "I will not be having a bunch of these disgusting little things running around in this house!" She looked down at the ground and discovered that there was yet another rat standing at her feet. Again, she screamed. "There's another one!"

"I'll check downstairs to see if there are any in the kitchen." Candace said as she rushed out of the room and downstairs to check the kitchen. To her utter disgust, there was not just another rat in the kitchen. There were about a half dozen rats in the kitchen. Candace screamed at the top of her lungs, as the family (and Isabella, of course) rushed back down to notice the rats as well. "They're everywhere!"

"Where are all of these rats coming from?" Phineas asked, as he looked around for his pet platypus. "And where did Perry go?"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Flynn-Fletcher home was not the only home in town that had a pest problem. In fact, the O.W.C.A. was crawling with rats as well. There were rats all over the headquarters, including some in Perry's lab, to everyone's utter disgust and dismay.

"Good morning, Agent P." Monogram said on the screen, with a rat on his head. "I apologize in advance, but it seems as if we have an infestation problem. And we think we know why." Monogram brought up several pictures on the screen of Doofenshmirtz with several vials of chemicals in his hands, and dozens of sewer rats in cages. Although the pictures could not tell the whole story, Perry got a vague idea of what was happening. "According to our sources," Monogram continued. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been collecting rats that live down in the sewer and apparently, he has been messing with some chemicals - again - and it appears he has been cloning them in order to create an army of some sorts. We'll need you to investigate just in case."

Perry saluted him, then went off to investigate. He arrived at his nemesis' lair to find the front entrance guarded by a bunch of the sewer rats Monogram mentioned. Though they were not armed with any weaponry, just their grotesque appearance and their horrible odor was enough to cause Perry to slightly flinch. But he came back to his senses and used his handheld grappling hook to climb to Doofenshmirtz's floor without ever having to come in contact with them. Or so he thought.

As soon as he stepped foot in the lair, he was surrounded by even more filthy rats. This wasn't an actual "trap" set by Doofenshmirtz, but, like anyone else, Perry was so disgusted by the sight of the rats that he couldn't bare to take a step in any direction. One of the rats even managed to grab a hold of his grappling hook and throw it away, eliminating a possible escape root for the platypus.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. What an unprecedented surprised." Doofenshmirtz snickered, stepping into the light. "And by unprecedented I mean...well, you know, completely precedented. I see you've come across my army of filthy rats. My evil scheme for today is to infest the Tri-State Area with vermin. You see, a couple of days ago, I had a pest problem myself, but when I called the exterminator to come eliminate the rats, he didn't do anything. I tried to show him that my home was infested with rats, but even with the evidence, he didn't do anything. He said that it was "my mere presence that was causing the infestation", and then he stuck me with the bill. Ugh, what a jerk!"

"Anyway, after he left, I decided to get even with him. So, I trapped all of the rats that were infesting my lair, and used this..." He pulled out a vile full of green liquid. "A mind-controlling serum I've concocted. Now, I'm going to use these rats to infest the entire Tri-State Area with filth and unwanted vermin! That exterminator will have so much work to do that he'll never have any time for anything else ever again!" Doofenshmirtz broke out into evil laughter, while Perry, and even some of the rats, rolled their eyes.

* * *

The Flynn-Fletcher family, unfortunately, were not the only victims of Doofenshmirtz's rat infestation. As Phineas & Ferb soon learned, Isabella's house, Buford's house, Baljeet's house, basically everybody's house on Maple Drive was infested with rats. It had quickly become such an epidemic that it was even giving a breaking news story on Channel 5.

"Good morning, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Joyce Kinney. Our top story tonight: an invasion of the vermin."

"Over the course of the morning, hundreds of reports have been filed consisting of unwanted rats from the sewer that have seemingly been popping up out of nowhere. It's unclear where the rats are actually coming from and how they are appearing in such a massive herd, but one thing is clear. Exterminators are going to be pretty busy today."

"We'll keep you updated with up-to-the-minute coverage of our "invasion of the vermin"."

Phineas shut the TV off as he looked to both his sides as his family, and Isabella. "This is crazy. Everyone's having this problem."

"It appears it's becoming an epidemic." Ferb added as three rats passed by the couch.

"Well, what are we supposed to do?" Candace asked angrily. "I refuse to live in a house full of disgusting, filthy sewer rats!"

"Don't worry, Candace. Ferb and I have a plan." He stood up from the couch, with Ferb following, and the two of them ran upstairs and came back down with a tiny semi-circle pad that had the ability to keep filthy animals out of a home and send them back to where they came from. "Is there an open outlet around?"

Linda pointed to the nearest open outlet where the boys proceeded to plug the device in. In just a matter of seconds, a silent, but apparently effect cone of waves started spreading through the home. It instantly affected all of the rats that were in the home and in an instant, they all made their way hastily to the nearest exit. The pain of the sound waves was far too much for them to handle.

"Whoa. Phineas, what just happened?" Isabella asked.

"You know how they have those devices that omit sound waves that humans can't hear, but dogs can? Well, we decide to dabble and see if we couldn't design one for each individual animal. Good thing we did. Otherwise, this place would still be crawling with rats."

"I'll say. You can't even tell that we even had rats at all." Lawrence added.

"Do you guys have any more of those things?" Isabella asked again. "Maybe we could pass them around town to families that are having the same problems we are. I'm sure my mom would love to get rid of the rats in our house."

"We have more, but not for rats. We'll have to adjust the rest of them to work that way. Then we can get to work on handing these bad boys out. The sooner, the better."

* * *

Back with Doofenshmirtz, the evil scientist was busy gloating about the success of his plan while watching a news report concerning the epidemic of house vermin, vermin that he was responsible for creating. "Ha ha! This is so delicious, Perry the Platypus!" He gloated to his nemesis, who was still surrounded by some of the disgusting vermin himself. "My hard work is paying off. Now, phase 1 is complete. The entire Tri-State Area is slowly being consumed by my army of sewer rats! Now all of the exterminators will be so busy they will be exhausted by the time they are finished. But that's the beauty. There's so much vermin that they'll NEVER be finished! And now, for the piece de resistance."

He walked over to his phone and started dialing a number. "Hello, Bob's Bugs Be Gone?" (**A/N: Get the reference?**) "Yes, this is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I called the other day about a vermin problem. Yes, well, apparently, your company did not do a very good job of eliminating my vermin. I still have a bunch of rats festering in my lair. I'm going to need somebody to come over and do something about this. Well, sir, I don't care how busy you are. You owe me a good cleaning after your sub-par performance the other day. Fine, I'll pay you double your usual prices...uh, hello?" There was a click on the other line, indicating that the person he was talking to hung up on him.

But before he could utter another word, there was a knock at the door. It swung open and a slightly portly man with blonde hair and pest-eliminating equipment burst into the room. "Where are they?" He shouted as he approached Doofenshmirtz.

"They're right over there." Doofenshmirtz pointed over to Perry, who had assumed his "mindless pet" persona. The rats did not move from where they were, so Perry still had no way of escaping. The portly man approached the area, where Perry proceeded to make his signature growling noise.

"No, seriously. Where are the bugs?" He asked Doofenshmirtz again.

"No bugs. Just rats. Go ahead. Go do your thing, and I'll get your money ready." He turned to leave the man alone.

"Uh, dude, I don't do rats." But he was stopped when the exterminator spoke those words. He turned back around to face him.

"What do you mean you don't do rats?"

"Just look at the name. It's "Bob's _Bugs_ Be Gone". Not "Bob's _Bugs, Rats, and filthy vermin_ Be Gone."

"Oh, so you don't work with rats? That's why you didn't do anything for me?"

"I couldn't. I don't specialize in rats."

Doofenshmirtz blinked for a moment, then gave a chuckle. "Oh, oh boy. I-I feel so silly now."

"I'm sure you do." The man handed Doofenshmirtz a piece of paper. "My bill."

"Your bill?" He took the piece of paper, read it, and then angrily looked at him. This was the exact same thing that had happened the first time around that caused Doofenshmirtz to concoct this evil scheme of his. "But you did nothing for me."

"That's the standard price for a house call."

"Standard price for a - well, what am I going to do? Call you from a payphone?" Doofenshmirtz's anger was starting to grow. "I mean, really! Who comes up with this stuff?"

"Well..."

"You sir!" He pointed to the man in rage. "You, sir, are pathetic, and should be ashamed of yourself! You come in here, you charge me ridiculous prices for work that you don't even do! I don't care if you don't specialize in rats. I refuse to pay you for doing nothing."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sir. In that case, you'll be hearing from my lawyers." He said firmly, as he grabbed his stuff and started to leave the room.

"Yeah? And who's your lawyer? The guy who makes the dozens of pizzas you eat a day?" Doofenshmirtz retorted back with a fat joke, citing the man's portly appearance. Angered, he stepped back, dropped his stuff, and angrily confront the evil scientist.

"You're insulting my work by calling me fat?"

"Yes. Yes I am. And you can take your stupid work and put it somewhere where the sun don't shine, because you're not getting a cent out of me! I'm not even going to pay you for the "job" you did the other day."

"Suit yourself. It's your funeral, bub." With that, the portly man marched out of the room, refusing to even look in Doofenshmirtz's direction. Doofenshmirtz, however, did not take it as offense and simply returned his attention to Perry.

He gave a weak chuckle as Perry raised an eyebrow. "Oh, dear. I feel so embarrassed now that I know the reason why he didn't do a good job the first time around. He doesn't specialize in killing rats. He only specializes in eating fast food." Yet another fat joke towards the exterminator. "I feel so silly now." He had hopes that his nemesis would join in the pity laugh, but Perry didn't oblige. "Don't give me that look, Perry the Platypus. You can't exactly do anything about it. You're trapped."

Perry looked around and remembered that he had rats surrounding him, preventing him from just walking out without facing the wrath of disgusting vermin. But it was at that moment that he remembered he had a tool that could help him get out of the situation. He reached into his fedora and pulled out a can of "Pest B-Gone" spray, a spray that, when used in homes, could keep vermin out and administer a painful shock if they came anywhere near the barrier it created. It worked similar to Phineas & Ferb's latest invention, only the spray was less complicated and less expensive to make. Too bad it was exclusively used by the O.W.C.A. and not distributed to the public.

He sprayed himself and the area around him that wasn't infested with rats, and instantly, the rats began to disperse. Perry quickly escaped before they could regroup, and confronted Doofenshmirtz up close and personal. "No-Now wait a minute. Wait a minute!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, in an effort to stop his nemesis from attacking him. "L-Let's think about this rationally for a moment. Now, remember, the motive behind this evil scheme was mainly to get back at that fat guy for not doing his job properly. But, as it turns out, he did _his _job. He checked for pests, and, not counting the rats, I didn't have any. Turns out his company doesn't specialize in rats." He scoffed. "Ripoff, right?"

He waited for Perry to respond in agreement with him. But he never did so. "You know, you're really killing the mood, Perry the Platypus."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb were on the verge of finishing up their duplicate their "Rat Sound-off" devices that would rid the town of the pesky rats that were terrorizing everyone. Still clueless as to who was behind the rodent attack, they optimistically set out into town and started handing out their devices to everyone they saw. They explained how their invention worked, instructed them on how to activate it, and assured them that it was totally foolproof.

Though skeptical at first, the townspeople eventually played along, since virtually nothing else was working for anybody. Once everyone got their devices installed and had them turned on, the results were astonishing. Almost immediately, the many rats that residing in the homes of the Tri-State Area began to disperse. The results soundwave Phineas & Ferb's inventions were producing were far too much for the rats to handle, and they had no choice but to retreat back to the sewers or to wherever else they were presiding in.

Almost as quickly as the rats dispersed, the story spread throughout the Tri-State Area.

"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker."

"And I'm Joyce Kinney. Breaking news. The vermin epidemic is over."

"Recent reports from civilians indicate that a solution to the vermin situation has been reached, and this apparently "newly discovered" method has been working. When we tried to get an interview with the geniuses who invented this "solution", which, apparently, is a modern knock-off of those things that keep dogs from barking, they declined to comment. In fact...I-I'm not...I'm not even sure we know who it was that came up with this brilliant idea."

"You know, I don't think we do."

"Huh. That's odd. Oh well, if our boss tells us it's not our problem, then it's not our problem." Tom listened into his ear piece, as his boss was on the other line. "Uh huh. OK." Then he turned back to Joyce and the camera. "It's not our problem."

* * *

At that time, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had turned on his TV in an effort to watch his favorite show "Handi-Quacks", when he saw the news update. "What? But that's impossible. My rats cannot be scared off that easily. What could possibly have happened? Oh well. Not a big deal. I can always revamp my army of rats with the ones in my storage trunk! Now, if only I could get out of this trap."

As it turned out, after Perry had escaped from Doofenshmirtz's "rat trap", he took it upon himself to trap Doofenshmirtz by tying him up in some rope and chaining him to the couch. He made sure that Doofenshmirtz couldn't do anything more with his "rat army". So, after he tied him up and left him on the couch, Perry searched the entire lair for more of his rats, and once he found them, he captured them and brought them back to the sewer, where he found hundreds of other rats that had been driven away by Phineas and Ferb's invention.

Afterwards, Perry decided to return back home to his now rodent-free home, leaving Doofenshmirtz to fend for himself. Just as he was about to settle in for several hours of being tied up on the couch, his daughter, Vanessa, walked into the room. She took one good look at her father and shook her head. "Do I even need to ask?" Her father did not counter with a clever response. Instead, he sighed as she proceeded to untie him. "Boy, what a day."

"Tell me about it. It's one thing to have my plan for a total infestation of the Tri-State Area fail, but to then be tied up mercilessly by-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up." Vanessa said quickly, stopping her father before he trailed too far. "What was that you said about an "infestation"?"

"What? Oh, oh. That. Well, see..."

"Don't tell me this stupid rat infestation all over the town was _your_ idea!"

Doofenshmirtz tugged on his collar. "Uh, w-well...you see..."

"Dad, are you insane? Do you know what Mom and I had to do? We had to condemn our home and we've spent the past 3 hours driving around trying to find someone who would be willing to take us in. But everybody had their own rats to deal with."

"Well, I-I'm sorry, Vanessa. I didn't actually think..."

"Do you know that when I woke up this morning, there was a rat sitting on my face?" She told him firmly, shuttering at the mere memory. "There was a rat. Sitting on my face."

"Was there? I had no idea."

"You don't really think these things through, do you?"

"I-I-It's called consistency, Vanessa."

Vanessa growled at her father's ignorance. "Don't you get it? My mom, _your _ex-wife was terrified! You know she absolutely hates rats, and she's allergic to them."

"What? No she's not."

"Don't you remember? Last year for her birthday, you wanted to play a practical joke on her, so you put what you thought was a rubber rat in a present box, she opened it, and got so freaked out over it."

"It was just a joke."

"If it was really just a joke, it would've been a fake rat instead of a real rat. You remember what happened after that, don't you? She got so hysterical that her face ballooned up like crazy. She broke out into hives, dad! Hives! She was in the hospital for a week."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn't initially respond. He reminisced about the fateful day Vanessa was referring to, remembering how his ex-wife screamed in terror when she first laid eyes on his "present", how she broke out in hives and was forced to stay in the hospital for an entire week. In fact, it was that very moment that inspired him to come up with this scheme in the first place. He let out a soft chuckle. "Now that I think about it, this probably wasn't a good idea."

"What was your first clue?" His daughter responded angrily as she turned and left the lair. Doofenshmirtz shook his head, sighed, and then returned to his TV show.

**End of Episode 54b!**

**Sorry it took so long. I've been out recently with an ankle injury. Not my best work, but the next one will be better.**

**Next Time: ****A trip to New York City turns into a sexist fight when Buford refuses to accept that a women's league once existed. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz invades Yankee Stadium to broadcast a video message to all the fans, who are all so focused on Derek Jeter as he reaches a big milestone.**


	68. 55: Phineas and Ferb's Hall of Fame

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 55: Phineas and Ferb Hall of Fame**

**Episode Summary: ****During a trip to New York City, Phineas, Ferb, & friends get to visit Cooperstown, and get the chance to learn about baseball's greatest players from the old generation and some of the new generation. But problems ensure when Buford downplays the sport when he discovers that there once was a women's baseball league. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz travels to New York City and invades Yankee Stadium in an effort to spread a video message of "evil" to everyone in town, and all while famous Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter is on the verge of reaching a Hall-of-Fame worthy milestone.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! _The Yankees_ and everything associating with them do not belong to me either.**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun was way up on another extraordinary summer day in New York. Wait. New York? That can't be right. No, wait, it is. It was a special day for Phineas & Ferb. They, along with their friends, were invited by their father, Lawrence, to take a trip into New York City, after Lawrence's history presentation on the New York Yankees franchise was a success, to visit the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

"This is awesome!" Shouted an enthusiastic Phineas. "I can't believe we're actually going to Cooperstown."

"Silly Phineas." Linda chuckled, rustling her son's hair playfully. "We're going to see the National Baseball Hall of Fame, not "Cooperstown"." She chuckled sheepishly, which got quieter as she looked around and saw nobody laughing with her. "What?"

"Honey, Cooperstown is the name of a town in New York where the Hall of Fame is." Lawrence explained, to which Linda replied with an exasperated "oh". Candace shook her head and groaned, ashamed of her mother at that moment.

"I think it's best if I don't come with you." She finally said after a brief silence. "I don't know that much about baseball, so I think it's best if I stay behind."

"Well, alright. If you insist." Lawrence responded as he and the kids started packing into their minivan. "Candace, are you sure you don't want to join us?"

"You know me. I hate sports, especially with sweaty men."

"But Candace, all sports have sweaty men." Phineas pointed out.

"Your point?"

Phineas blinked for a moment, but didn't respond. He shrugged, and piled into the van.

"We'll be back tonight." Lawrence announced, poking his head out the driver's window, slowly backing out of the driveway.

"Have a nice time!" Linda called as she and Candace waved goodbye. The kids all peered their heads out of the window and simultaneously waved goodbye to them as they drove off to New York City. It took only a couple of blocks before the car was completely out of sight. Once they couldn't see Linda or Candace anymore, Lawrence turned to Phineas & Ferb.

"OK, boys. They're out of sight. Do it." He said promptly, and the boys knew instantly what he meant.

"You got it, Dad." Phineas reached down under his car seat and pressed a small, red button underneath. In an instant, the car took off seemingly at the speed of light. The kids, and Lawrence, let out simultaneous screams as the force of the ride caused their mouths to cover their ears.

The ride only lasted a short time, and once it stopped, they all found themselves in New York City. Everyone slowly peered their heads out and looked around, and realized where they were. "Look at that. We're here." Lawrence said proudly. The kids responded with cheers and jeers.

"This is going to be the best out of town day ever!" Phineas shouted in excitement.

"I agree." Baljeet didn't hesitate to respond, as he turned to Lawrence. "By the way, Mr. Fletcher, you did a great job of driving. If I can offer one suggestion though, here in America, people drive on the right side of the road, not the left." Baljeet smiled at him, while everyone else gave uninterested glares his way.

"Really? Now? You choose _now_ to criticize his driving?" Buford asked his nerd buddy. "He wasn't really driving at all."

"Yes, I know. But I want to make sure he is familiar to our customs. Americas differs from England in more ways than people realize."

"Baljeet, I've been living in America for over a decade." Was Lawrence's response; he was unimpressed with the way Baljeet responded to him.

"Oh. Then why are you still driving on the wrong side of the-" He was about to finish his sentence, but he had his mouth covered by Buford before he could do so.

"That's enough talking for now."

"Come on, guys. Let's go inside. There's so much to explore!" Phineas shouted, as he and the others, including Buford & Baljeet, rushed towards the building to get a head start on their day. It was a day that nobody was ever going to forget. Nobody.

* * *

Meanwhile, not too far away, it was another beautiful day for baseball at Yankee Stadium. Folks were just now finding their seats, as first pitch was just a few moments away.

Among all of the commotion, Perry the Platypus, apparently sent on a mission, was among them, trying to remain incognito so he wouldn't be exposed, or worse, kicked out, since there was a strict "no pet" policy. Once he found an empty space, he turned on his communicator watch, and on the other side was his boss, Major Monogram.

"It's a beautiful day in New York for another exciting day of baseball!" Monogram shouted in a sort of commentator-like fashion. "And today, it's a division match-up against the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays!" He waited for a response from Perry, but didn't get much from him. "Sorry, Agent P. I was practicing my baseball commentary. I'm thinking of becoming one after my gig here. Maybe I'll go for the Cardinals or the Red Sox, or something. Anywho, I sent you to New York because Doofenshmirtz is also in New York, and our sources caught him with some sort of CD. Apparently, he's planning to use the jumbotron in Yankee Stadium to hypnotize everyone inside, including the players."

"Are you sure about that, sir?" Carl asked from off-screen.

"Yes! OK, no, but this game is very important. Derek Jeter is only two hits away from becoming first Yankee player to accumulate 3,000 hits. This is a very exciting day."

"How do you know that he'll actually get that hit today? I mean, he can't even hit the ball in the gap anymore."

"Shut up, Carl! He's not 20 years old anymore. People get older - and if you use that against me, I swear you'll regret it!"

"Alright, alright. Settle down, sir. You're getting too emotionally wrapped up in this."

"I can't help it! It's just...I grew up with the Yankees, and this is a big day for me. Y-You hear about Ruth of Gehrig or Mantle, and none of them ever did it."

"Actually, I don't know any of those names, sir."

Monogram angrily turned off-screen and stared at his intern. "This is why we don't hang out more often, Carl." And with that, the screen went off. Perry sighed, and resumed his search for Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He noticed that the walkways in the stadium were much more abandoned than they were moments ago. This was because nearly everyone had found their seats and were settled down for potential history in the making.

"_It's a beautiful day here in the Bronx as we all get set to watch history in the making._" A fellow Yankees broadcaster spoke into his microphone as the teams were just about ready to get going. "_Today, it's the New York Yankees versus the Tampa Bay Rays. Welcome, everybody, to Yankees baseball. Here, with my colleague, John Flaherty, I'm Michael Kay. And today's no ordinary day here at Yankee Stadium."_

_"You're right, Mike. Jeter's gunning for history as he attempts to become the first Yankee to ever reach the 3,000 hit plateau. He's only two away entering play today. Remember, he only has today and tomorrow to get those two hits if he wants to do so during this homestand, because they begin an 8-game road stand against Toronto and Tampa Bay after the All-Star Break."_

* * *

Meanwhile, away from Yankee Stadium, Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of their friends, as well as Lawrence, were nearing the National Baseball Hall of Fame museum. The two stepbrothers couldn't wait to explore what was inside and see all of Baseball's greatest.

"Wow, this place is huge!" Phineas's voice echoed throughout the machine. "Look at all of these people!" He walked over to an exhibit to find some of the greatest Yankee names ever heard throughout history. "Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson, Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle...wow! Five of the greatest players of all time...and I have absolutely no idea who they are!"

Isabella neared him and chuckled. "Oh, Phineas. You are such a silly boy." She couldn't help but kiss him out of delight. "How could you not know any of these names? Everyone knows them, even non-baseball fans. Babe Ruth set the all-time home run record back in 1935 before it was broken by Hank Aaron in 1974, and then by Barry Bonds in 2007, Lou Gehrig held the record for most consecutive games played until it was broken by Cal Ripken Jr., Yogi Berra is known as one of the greatest Yankees catchers of all time, not to mention for his quirky "Yogi-isms" like "90% of the game is half mental", or "Always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise, they won't go to yours", or my personal favorite "Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa."."

Phineas laughed out loud. "He must've been a pretty funny guy." He said as she took his hand and led him to some of the other showcased players throughout the museum.

"Cy Young holds the record for the most wins by a pitcher." She said, taking him to Cy Young's showcase. (**A/N: I've never been to Cooperstown, so I don't know what showcases are actually there. Just bear with me.**) "In his career, he won 511 total games!"

"Really? How did he win so many? I mean, I'm sure he was good, but..."

"Back in the early days, they only used two starting pitchers instead of five. Back then, nobody really knew about the dangers of overusing a pitcher's throwing arm."

"Yet amazingly, our generation of humans is far less intelligent than in the 1900's. It's like we took a step back on the evolution chart."

"I know right? Anyway, did you know that Lou Gehrig's number 4 was the very first uniform number to be retired by a team? That means nobody on the Yankees will ever wear the number 4 again."

"It's pretty amazing, isn't it? You know, I've always wondered what a team would do if they retired every usable uniform number."

Isabella slowly turned to Phineas and gave a genuine moment of thought to that proposal. "Huh. You know what? I don't know. What _would_ they do if that were to happen? But I'm sure it never will. I mean, even with all the money in the world, the Yankees can't just buy the greatest players, right?"

Phineas & Isabella continued to browse through that section of the museum, checking out plaques for other famous players, such as Joe DiMaggio, Ty Cobb, Ted Williams, Catfish Hunter, Johnny Bench, Nolan Ryan, among many others.

They came across one in particular that really intrigued them. It was the plague of honored player Jackie Robinson, a.k.a the first African American player to ever play in the Major Leagues.

"Who's this guy?" Phineas asked about the plaque. "Jackie Robinson."

"It says here on his plaque that he was the first African American player to "break the color line" and play in the Major Leagues." Isabella responded. "He played for only 10 seasons, and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1962. In 1997, MLB officially retired his jersey number, 42, league-wide so nobody in the future would be allowed to wear it. At the time, only a handful of players who were presently active wearing the number 42 were allowed to continue wearing that number until they retired, changed teams, or changed numbers. Huh, that's so cool."

"That's funny. Earlier this year, Ferb and I were watching a baseball game and every player was wearing #42."

"Hold on. Let me check my Fireside Girls manual." She took out her book and flipped through the pages. "According to the Fireside Girls Manual: Baseball edition, April 15th in Major League Baseball is referred to as "Jackie Robinson Day", a day to commemorate and honor him. During any games played on that day, any players or managers that wish to wear the #42 may do so."

"Cool. A whole day to honor one baseball player. But wait, there are so many other players they could honor. Why don't they have days for them, too?"

"I think that's what the All-Star Game was created for...at least until 2002."

"I can't believe they ended that game in a tie. So unprofessional."

Later on, they met up with the others in a different part of the museum, where Lawrence had another surprise for them. "Enjoying the museum so far?" He asked them.

"You bet we are!" Phineas answered for both him and Isabella. "You said you had another surprise for us, Dad?"

"Yes, yes I did." He reached into his back pocket. "But we better get back to the car right away. Otherwise..." He pulled out six small pieces of paper. "We might lose our seats to today's Yankees game!" The kids all cheered in delight. "Come on, let's get going!"

The kids all followed behind Lawrence as he led them towards the exit. Just as they were about to leave, Buford's eyes caught sight of another rather interesting exhibit. He walked into the room closest to the exit, the room in which the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League exhibit was held. "Wow..." Surprisingly, he was fascinated, but not for the reasons many may think.

"What's up, Buford?" Phineas asked as he checked on his friend. "I see you found the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League exhibit."

"Yeah. I can't believe they made an entire exhibit out of a stinkin' movie."

"Based on a true story."

Buford's eyes shot open as he turned to the dorito-headed friend beside him. "What was that, Dilweed?"

As Phineas was about to speak again, the others came back into the building to see what the commotion was. "Boys, what's going on?" Lawrence asked them. "We're going to be late for the game!" He walked closer to them to see if he could gather them in order to head for the game.

"Hold onto your trousers, Mr. Fletcher!" Buford hastily said, still glued on Phineas. "What do you mean "Based on a true story"?"

"I thought you knew, Buford. During World War II, the majority of the baseball players were sent overseas, so teams didn't have enough players. Major League Baseball would have shut down, but luckily, they were able to recruit other players."

"But why did it have to be girls?"

"Hey!" Isabella shouted. "Girls are just as capable of playing baseball as guys are!"

"Don't get me started! It's bad enough when girls win at something as lame as Foosball, but there is **_NO_** way they should be dominating at something as manly as baseball!"

"Buford, I think you're overreacting." Phineas tried to calm him down. "The league cased after 1954. By then, the war was long over."

"Then what took them so long to restore professional ball?"

"Well, a lot of people really liked it, so they decided to keep it around."

"This is an outrage! For 11 years, baseball was a laughing stock!" Buford shouted angrily. "It was ridiculed by women the same way they ridicule every other man's sport."

"Ridicule? They _saved_ it! Without the girl's league, baseball would've been dead by now. Some of the greatest players in recent memory would've have come to fruition, and Derek Jeter would not be on the verge of becoming the first Yankee to ever get 3,000 hits for the team..."

"He is?" Phineas interrupted. "Well, then what are we doing here? Come on!" He grabbed her hand and ran out of the room and of the building with her. Everyone, with the exception of Buford, followed suit.

"Buford, aren't you coming?" Lawrence asked as he stepped out.

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up."

"But it's-"

"Go! I can catch up. Trust me."

"Alright. If you insist." With that, he paid no more attention and left with the others. Buford marched out of the room and attempted to find somebody in charge, his emotions in full control of him at the time.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Yankee Stadium, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had somehow managed to get past security and make his way over to the control panel for the Jumbo-tron. With his evil plan safely in his hands in the form of a CD, he slowly opened the door leading into an empty room. "Excellent." He said in a sinister tone to himself. "Nobody's here."

He crept over to the control panel and peered throughout one of the windows to see that the Yankee game was already in progress, just starting, in fact. "Perfect. The game's just started." He said to himself, as at that moment, the PA announcer, which was just a pre-recording of the late Bob Sheppard's voice, played over the PA, announcing the first batter.

"_Now batting for the Yankees...#2...Derek...Jeter...#2."_ (**A/N: And that's actually how Jeter's introduced at home games, done in part by the "voice of God", the late Bob Sheppard.**) The crowd erupted as Jeter stepped into the box. At that point, he was just 2 hits shy of becoming the 28th player in MLB history to accumulate 3,000 career hits.

"Oh goodie! Jeter's up!" Doofenshmirtz shouted in a giddy tone. Though a "self-proclaimed" evil genius, he had a soft spot for baseball, particularly the Yankees, for some reason. "Come on, buddy! Just 2 more and you have it! My evil scheme can wait. It's not everyday you get to witness potential history."

Down on the field, Jeter had already worked the count full, and the next pitch he saw, the eighth of the at-bat, he ripped between the third baseman and the shortstop.

"_Grounded in the hole and through for a base hit! He's one away!_" Broadcaster Michael Kay shouted to the TV audience as Jeter reached base and the crowd erupted even louder.

Up in the control room, Doofenshmirtz found himself cheering for Jeter as well. But he quickly found his composure and refocused himself on the task at hand. "Enough of that. Time to get down to business. Now, how do I figure this thing out?" He turned his attention back to the control panel, as he tried desperately to learn how exactly it functioned. "There has to be a place to put in a CD...oh, here it is."

He inserted the disk into the CPU and waited for something to happen. "Those foolish Yankees fans will never know what hit them..." At that precise moment, something started playing from the jumbo-tron, and before anybody knew it, they were listening to a well-played song with a horribly dubbed voice. It turns out it was a CD of Dr. Doofenshmirtz singing to the tune of "Gitchee Gitchee Goo" (**Flop Star**). Luckily for him, not many people in the stadium actually heard it since the volume was so low it sounded kind of faded. But the ones that did hear it didn't hesitate to take their shots.

"Wait a second. This isn't my evil plan!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, realizing that he had the wrong disc. "I took the wrong disc!" He pulled out his cellphone in a hurry and dialed his home number. His robot assistant, Norm, answered the other line.

"_Father!"_

"Norm, for the umpteenth time, I am _**NOT**_ your father."

"_To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?"_

"Listen, Norm...ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this...but I need your help."

"_Wonderful! I'm always happy to help, sir."_

"I need a special kind of CD-rom that I plan to use here at Yankee Stadium to hypnotize the fans to obey my every command. But I brought the wrong one with me and now I can't do anything with it but embarrass myself. The CD I need is in my room. It has the words "B-Ball Evil Plan" written in marker on it. It should be sitting on my desktop. Can you get it for me and bring it to me?"

"_Of course, sir."_

"Excellent." He hung up his phone quickly and began the waiting game for Norm to arrive with his master plan. "It's such a simple task. It shouldn't be..." His phone rang again. He answered it. "Hello?"

"_What shape is a CD-rom?"_

Doofenshmirtz groaned. "It's a circle. It's a big circle with a smaller circle in the center."

"_Got it."_ Norm hung up again. Doofenshmirtz groaned and cupped his eyebrows again before receiving another call from Norm.

"What?"

"_What is a circle?"_

Doofenshmirtz's eyes fell and his calm demeanor was replaced with one of frustration. "You know what? F-Forget the shape. Just look for something orange in my room. I spray-painted the disk with orange spray-paint so I could tell the difference between my CD's. It'll be the only orange item in my room. Got it?"

"_Got it, sir."_

"Good." He hung up his cell phone again and resumed patiently waiting. This time, he was certain that Norm couldn't possibly screw it up. That is, until his cell phone rang _again_. "What, Norm?"

"_What color is orange?"_

Once again, Doofenshmirtz's optimistic expression was replaced with one of frustration and anger. "Just put Vanessa on the phone."

"_I can't sir. She's not here."_

"What do you mean...oh, that's right. This isn't my weekend. OK...well then, just don't call me again and try not to destroy anything else."

"_But you called me first!"_

Doofenshmirtz hung up his cell phone before Norm could say anything first, then proceeded to groan out of frustration. "The things I do..." He held up the CD he had eye level. "Perhaps this isn't a total loss. I did bring some equipment with me. Maybe I can digitally re-edit this disk to compensate with my master plan..."

His train of thought took a momentary halt. There was a knock at the door, and quickly after it swung open, revealing Perry the Platypus to be standing there. Doofenshmirtz reacted quickly. "Perry the Platypus!" Perry approached Doofenshmirtz ever so carefully, wary of a looming trap. "I-It's OK, Perry the Platypus. I don't have a trap set for you. Huh, can you believe I actually didn't anticipate you arriving to stop me? Anywho, here's my evil plan."

He held up the disk in his hand. "With one simple CD, I can hypnotize every single person in Yankee Stadium, including the players, to do my bidding! It is so simple. Such a simple, yet diabolical plan." He chuckled sheepishly. "The only problem is that I have the wrong disk with me. The disk I _need_ for my evil plan is back at my lair, and I can't get it because my robot assistant is such an idiot! So, instead, I'm going to digitally re-edit this CD to act in a manner similar to the one I was going to use. And as for you..."

He reached slowly into his back pocket, pulled out what appeared to be a waist-sized shackle, and flung it at Perry. The platypus did not have enough time to react, and as a result, he found himself hit by the shackle and chained up quickly. "Now you have no choice but to watch as I put my plan into action! Ah ha ha ha ha!"

Meanwhile, outside the booth, somebody had made the effort to climb up onto the Jumbotron. That person happened to be Buford, who was still fuming over his discovery that there was once a girls only baseball league. He had a giant megaphone in his hand, and he had a message to send to everyone in the stadium, particularly the ladies.

"**_ATTENTION, LOSERS!_**" He shouted at the top of his lungs. In an instant, play on the field came to a halt, commotion in the stadium stopped, and everyone turned their attention to the kid on top of the Jumbotron. Even the players in the dugouts took special attention to this.

"Hey, what's that on top of the Jumbotron?" Derek Jeter asked his fellow teammates, sighting Buford on it.

"I think it's some really fat kid with a Jumbotron." Fellow teammate Nick Swisher responded. "I think he has a megaphone or something."

"**_THE LEGACY OF BASEBALL HAS BEEN DISGRACED!"_** Buford shouted again into the megaphone, causing a stir of confusion.

"What did he say?"

"I think he said "The Legend of Bisen has been Digraded." Swisher relayed, rather poorly.

"What the heck does that mean?"

"I don't know. That fat kid said it.

"**_GIRLS AND WOMEN EVERYWHERE HAVE SOILED OUR NATIONAL PASTTIME BY PARTAKING IN THIS SPORT IN THE 1940's!"_**

"Girfs and chipmunks anywhere may soil our natural passiveness by pardoning our spunky president nineteen minutes ago."

"Where's security when you need it."

"**_THERE WAS ONCE A WOMEN'S BASEBALL LEAGUE! WOMEN HAVE DISGRACED OUR SPORT AND ITS NAME! GIRLS SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND I REFUSE TO REST UNTIL I PROVE TO YOU ALL ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT GIRLS CAN'T PLAY BASEBALL!"_**

"I have an ostrich in my pants and his name is Gertrude." Swisher's ability to relay communication seemed to worsen. He looked at his fellow teammates and none of them seemed convinced.

As if that weren't bad enough, Phineas, Ferb, and the rest of the gang, who were in their seats, ready to become witnesses to Jeter making history, were unfortunately also witnesses to Buford's little rant, and of all of them, none were more stunned and offended than Isabella.

"B-B-Buford?" Phineas was still trying to process what had just happened.

"Unbelievable!" Isabella shouted angrily. "Of all the stupid, irrational...I can't believe his ego is _so_ big he can't even let girls have this one little thing in sports! So we had a sports league for a decade! What's the big idea?"

"Yeah, I don't get it." Phineas said, appearing to agree with Isabella. But then, he added something else a moment later. He turned to Isabella. "Isabella, what's a balk?"

Isabella turned her head slightly to face Phineas. She shook her head, giggled, and then kissed him on the forehead. "You are _so_ cute when you're clueless."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Look up there, kids. Looks like security's going to take care of our Buford problem." Lawrence pointed out, as they all looked up to see what appeared to be two security guards taking Buford and helping him off the Jumbotron before dragging him away to their office. What they didn't see, however, was that the two "security guards" had ski masks over their faces.

"I hope they're not too hard on him." Phineas responded.

"Why? He publicly humiliated himself, criticized the women's baseball league, and displayed a ridiculous position of sexism!" Isabella fought back. "He's even more immature now than he was when I beat him at Foosball."

"I suppose you're right, Isabella. Still, I hope nothing bad happens to him."

"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll be fine. Let's just get back to the game. I think Jeter's coming up again." Isabella pointed to the field, and sure enough, Derek Jeter was coming up to the plate again. It was now the bottom of the 3rd inning, one out, score 1-0 in favor of the Rays.

"_Now batting...the shortstop...#2...Derek...Jeter...#2."_ The crowd responded to the PA announcement with a round of cheers and jeers. Jeter made his way into the batter's box, just one hit shy of the magic number 3,000 for his career.

Meanwhile, up in the control room near the Jumbo-tron, Doofenshmirtz was in the process of finishing the editing of his CD. "Almost done...and...there!" He threw his tools to the side and held up his CD. "It's done!" He turned to face his nemesis, who was still tied up. "And now, Perry the Platypus, there is nothing you can do to stop me from hypnotizing everyone in the stadium!"

Doofenshmirtz proceeded to insert the CD into the main CPU, and wait for his invention to start working. Sure enough, moments later, an image of Doofenshmirtz's head in red shades, spinning around, appeared on the Jumbo-tron, singing a very catchy/annoying tune in monotone. (**A/N: If you can figure out what I'm referencing here, you get a cookie**)

"Yes!" Doofenshmirtz shouted upon hearing the tune play. "It's working! It's working!"

Contrary to his opinion, however, it was not working. Everybody was so concentrated on Derek Jeter getting his 3,000th hit. It was Derek Jeter's desire to get the 3,000th hit at Yankee Stadium. He had this game and one more before the All-Star Break, and then the Yankees would be going on the road against the Blue Jays and the Rays.

"_37 years old, drafted by the New York Yankees in 1992. Wanted the be the Yankees shortstop. Dreams come true. The 3-2..."_ The pitcher threw his payoff pitch towards Jeter, who promptly shot it out towards the left field wall. "_That one's driven deep to left field! Going back is Joyce...looking up...see ya!"_ The ball had enough on it to get over the wall, and with that, the chase was finally over, and the crowd reacted accordingly. "_3,000! History with an exclamation point! Oh, what a way to join the 3,000 hit club! Derek Jeter has done it...in grand style!"_

As Jeter slowly jogged towards home plate, he was greeted by all of his teammate, his manager, Joe Girardi, who was also a former teammate of Jeter's, the entire staff, and of course, a standing ovation from the fans. Even the gang in the audience were cheering.

"That was awesome!" Phineas shouted, as he proceeded to high five his friends, starting with Baljeet, then his dad, Ferb, and finally, Isabella. "What a shot!"

"Oh, that was spectacular!" Lawrence agreed, and soon, all of the kids joined in the celebration. They celebrated along with everyone else in the stadium for a brief moment before realizing they were still without Buford. "So, who's up for finding Buford?" Lawrence suggested. The kids all murmured in agreement as they exited their seats to look for Buford.

As for Dr. Doofenshmirtz, he could not believe that his invention not only failed, but it appeared as though it wasn't even seen by anybody. "W-What's going on? Why didn't it work?" He took a closer look outside the window and saw all of the Yankee players & staff still congratulating Jeter. "Him. That guy!" Referring to Jeter. "He's stealing all of my thunder. It is clear now what I must do in order to succeed." With that, he took his CD out of the CPU and ran out, set on "getting rid" of Derek Jeter, the attention-grabber at the moment, in order to fulfill his evil scheme.

Perry rolled his eyes once Doofenshmirtz was out of sight. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a mini-chain saw, and started sawing himself out of the shackle. Once he was free, he set his sights on catching up to Doofenshmirtz before he came within earshot of Jeter, and more importantly, before he made a fool of himself.

* * *

Meanwhile, Buford found himself in a small, dark room, with very little light. He realized he was tied up to a chair and struggled to get out. "Hey! What's the big idea?" He shouted in the hopes of getting somebody's attention. To his surprise, he not only got one person's attention, he got the attention of many; several dark silhouettes crowded around Buford. "Who are you, and why have you tied me up?"

The lights turned on suddenly, revealing several elderly women crowding him. But these were not ordinary elderly women. As Buford would soon learn, these women were only a few of the women that participated in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League from 1943 to 1954. "Who are you old geezers?"

"That's no way to talk to your elderly, young man." One of them, Dottie Green, said to him.

"Especially elderly women who have participated in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League." Another one, Doris Nelson, responded.

"All American...wait a second. _You're_ the losers who took part in disgracing our national pasttime?"

"How dare you, son! We didn't disgrace the national past time! We saved it!"

"Saved it? How?"

"Don't you know anything? In 1943, most of our men were shipped off to fight in World War II!"

"T-They were?" This time, Buford responded with a much less menacing tone; before this moment, he did not understand that the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League took place during World War II. "I-I didn't know that."

"Well, you do now, son."

"Most of the men that were shipped off were ball players." Another participant, Dolores Lee, continued. "This would have spelled the end of Professional Baseball entirely."

"What?"

"Yeah, genius! If women were not recruited to play, baseball would've been cancelled for good, which means you wouldn't have seen Jeter send his big hit into the stands just now."

"Really? Huh, I guess I never really thought of that."

"Let me guess. You're one of those guys who thinks girls can't play sports as well as guys can, aren't you?" Dottie spoke up again.

"Yeah. So what? It's true."

"Son, let's show you something." The ladies all walked over to a tiny TV on the other side of the room, rolled it towards Buford, and turned it on. Several clips of the Girls Baseball League in action were shown, including several that depicted the Rockford Peaches, the team in which all of the ladies present played for, in winning form.

Buford remained unimpressed. "Big whoop. So you hit the ball and caught it a few times. That doesn't mean you have any business messing up our game!"

"You still don't get it, do you?"

"So you kept the game around for a few years. But after that, us men came back into the picture, and that's how it's supposed to be.!"

"Well, maybe this will convince you, son." The ladies fast-fowarded the tape to another clip. But this wasn't an ordinary clip. This clip was taken from the movie "A League of Their Own", which was based off of the All American Girls' Baseball League. It was taken from the end of the movie, where the women, now reunited, were in the National Baseball Hall of Fame, deciding to sing to the tune of their own theme song. (Yes, they have a theme song)

**_Batter up! Hear that call!_**  
**_The time has come for one and all  
__To play ball._**

**_We are the members of the All-American League  
__We come from cities near and far  
__We've got Canadians, Irishmen and Swedes,  
__We're all for one, we're one for all  
__We're all Americans!_**

**_Each girl stands, her head so proudly high,  
__Her motto 'Do or Die'  
__She's not the one to use or need an alibi._**

**_Our chaperones are not too soft,  
__They're not too tough,  
__Our managers are on the ball.  
__We've got a president who really knows his stuff,  
__We're all for one, we're one for all,  
__We're All-Americans!_**

Following the song, the women shut the TV off, and turned back to Buford, who, this time, seemed extremely impressed and amazed. "That was beautiful, man." Was all he was able to muster up. A tear started to fall from his eye. At that moment, seemingly out of nowhere, a tall man landed on the ground right in front of him, and started screaming at him.

"_ARE YOU CRYING?_" He hollered to Buford. It turned out that the man was none other than Tom Hanks (**A/N: AKA the guy that played the character Jimmy Dugan in the movie "A League of their own. The following is a play on one of his most famous quotes from the film.**) "_HUH? ARE YOU CRYING, TOUGH GUY?_"

"N-N-No..." Buford stammered, hesitating to find the right words.

"_I THINK YOU ARE, PUNK! AND YOU BETTER QUIT CRYING! YOU KNOW WHY?"_ Buford hesitantly shook his head. "_I'LL TELL YOU WHY! BECAUSE THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!"_

Buford was on the verge of bursting into sobs. After a few quick seconds, the ladies all started laughing, while Hanks continued to stare Buford down. "Alright, I think he's had enough. Stand down." One of them said to Tom. The celebrity looked back at them, and then at Buford, and finally, he took a step back. Buford got a closer look at his face, and instantly recognized him...

"Hey, you're Jimmy Dugan!" ...sort of. He only recognized him by his movie character. "Oh, man! I was a huge fan, Mr. Dugan! It's too bad you died so many years ago. Your career was never the same, man."

Tom shook his head in disgust, and with that, he walked out of the room. The ladies proceeded to untie Buford, and at that moment, as if on cue, Phineas, Ferb, and the others came rushing into the room, having found their friend.

"Buford!" Phineas shouted. "There you are. We've been looking all over for you. What happened to you?"

"We decided to teach Buford a little valuable lesson." Dottie told him. "A lesson about how girls can play baseball just as well as boys."

"Hey, aren't you some of those ladies that played in the All-American Girls Baseball League?"

"Yes. Yes we are."

"Wow..."

"You know, ladies. I hate to admit it..." Buford turned to face them. "But, that was pretty awesome. I still don't think girls should be playing our sport, but I have a new found respect for you."

"Ah, so you've finally come around, haven't you?"

"Glad to hear it, Buford." Isabella said, now able to relax knowing she won't have to deal with Buford's sexist remarks.

"Okey-dokey then. Now that it's settled, what's say we go home?" Lawrence suggested.

"Go home? But aren't we going to finish watching the game?"

"Now, why would we do that? We already saw Jeter's big moment. What's there left to see?"

Phineas and the rest of the kids exchanged looks, but ultimately, shrugged their shoulders and followed Lawrence out of the room. "It's too bad." Phineas said just as they were out of the room. "I wanted to see the rest of the game."

"Why bother?" Buford said, prepared to run his mouth again. "It's not like Jeter's going to do anything else spectacular today, right?"

Meanwhile, back in Yankee Stadium, the game was still in progress, and, low n' behold, Jeter was up to bat again, with the score tied at 4 and the go-ahead run on third. The pitch to Jeter, he swings the bat, and sends the ball right back up the middle.

"_Grounded up the middle and through for a base hit! Jeter is five-for-five! And the fairy tale just keeps getting sweeter!_" The crowd cheered loudly as Jeter took his base. It was a perfect day for the struggling captain. "_Oh, and the Yankees lead five-four!"_ It was indeed a perfect game for Derek Jeter, but there was one person who was set out to ruin it for him.

After his initial plan failed, Dr. Doofenshmirtz decided to take matters into his own hands. He sneaked past security somehow, and made his way to the entrance into the Yankees dugout.

"So, Jeter, you think you're _so_ hot..." Doofenshmirtz ranted to himself. "Well, you won't be when I'm through with you." He fiddled with his watch, which was just a miniature version of his Invis-inator (**Don't Even Blink**), and turned it on. Within seconds, he became invisible to the naked eye. He was able to practically waltz into the dugout (he actually did, too) and carry out his newest scheme.

He placed a tiny, tiny sugar cube on the bench, and then sneaked out of the dugout, unseen, over-confident that his plan would work. As it turns out, the plan _did_ work...sort of. The sugar cube was taken and consumed, but not by Derek Jeter...

Outside, Doofenshmirtz's Invis-inator wore off, and he was exposed to the naked eye again, and just in time, as Perry approached him not long after. "Ah, Perry the Platypus. You're too late! I have already set my second plan into motion. You see, I placed a tiny sugar cube on the bench in the dugout, and in a few moments, that attention-stealing, plan-ruining Jeter will eat it, and lose his manliness! Literally, the minute he eats it, h-he'll start acting like a girly girl. J-Just you wait. I guarantee you that in the next few minutes..."

But Dr. Doofenshmirtz was sourly mistaken. For you see, it was not Derek Jeter who indulged in the sugar cube. Instead, it was someone else, and not just anyone. It was the Yankees Ace starting pitcher, Carsten Charles "CC" Sabathia, and the results were terrifying...well, if you think girly behavior from a man of his structure is terrifying.

Within seconds, the big man transformed internally from a deadly ace pitcher with a filthy repertoire of pitches to a frilly, happy man who acted like a 7-year old girl and loved the color purple. He brushed out of the dugout into the hallway, dressed in a purple tutu that somehow fit his massive body structure. "Hello, everybody!" And he spoke in an extremely high-pitched, scaredy-cat like voice. (Like Baljeet, after breathing Helium). "Oh, sonny, please, stand up straight. You're slouching." He said to Doofenshmirtz, whom, upon seeing the big man in the frilly little tutu, dropped his jaw to the ground. "And close your mouth. You'll swallow a fly."

But by then, Doofenshmirtz was so shell-shocked by what he was witnessing that he froze right in his tracks. CC shook his head and smacked his lips, in a "kids-these-day-don't-listen-anymore" kind of way. Then he looked down and noticed Perry, who had reverted back to his mindless pet persona, on the floor. "And who is this cutie-pie?" He proceeded to pick Perry up and hug him. "Aren't you precious?"

Perry quickly grew irritated and attempted to wiggle out of his grip. It took a lot of effort since CC was so strong, but he was eventually able to wiggle out and crawled away without giving away his secret. Meanwhile, the husky ace brushed it off and walked in another direction, away from the dugout.

* * *

**_Later that night..._**

After the game, in which the Yankees won 5-4, they returned to their hotel to reflect on the day they have had. But once they got to their hotel room, that all changed. As soon as they arrived at their room, they opened the door to find their room completely redecorated, and not for the better. Every corner of the room was painted purple, and by none other by their ace pitcher.

Upon entering, all of them were in complete and utter dismay. "Dude!" Jeter was the first to break the stunned silence. "W-What up with the purple?"

CC turned around and faced his fellow teammates, still sporting his purple tutu. "It's much more colorful this way." He responded, still using a frilly, girly voice. "The room looked all old and dirty, anyway. Oh, and speaking of dirty." He rushed over to them, pulled out a wet cloth, and attempted to clean their uniforms while they were still wearing them.

"W-What are you doing?" Jeter backed off quickly and uncomfortably.

"You've got a little dirt on your pants, there."

"Of course I do. We've been playing in dirt."

CC gasped. "Playing in dirt? What are you boys thinking? Do you know how much detergent I'll need to get these stains out?"

The players' jaws dropped as they exchanged extremely confused, and just plain dumbfounded looks at each other. They dared not break the silence again until rightfielder Nick Swisher was brave enough to do it. "Who _are_ you?"

"My name is Carsten Charles, silly. You know that."

"Carsten? Seriously? What kind of a name is that?"

"Hey. My mother named me that. You respect the name. Now, if you boys will excuse me, I have cookies in the oven." With that, he paid no more attention to them, as he skipped (literally, skipped) towards their kitchen to tend to his cookies. Once again, the guys all exchanged confused expressions to each other. None knew what to make of the situation.

Swisher gave a chuckle. "And you guys say _I'm_ the crazy one."

"You still are."

**End of Episode 55!**

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Just so you know, I am a Yankee fan, so none of this was meant as an insult to the New York Yankees or anything like that. Also, hope you liked the nod I made to the film "A League of Their Own". Would you believe I actually watched it last night?**

**Next Time: ****Isabella's grandmother comes to visit her, and she doesn't take too kindly to Phineas or his family. Can Phineas and Isabella change her grandmother's attitude towards them? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz develops a video game console that has the power to take control of the minds of the Tri-State Area.**


	69. 56: Grandma Garcia Shapiro

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 56: Grandma Garcia-Shapiro**

**Episode Summary: ********Isabella's grandmother comes to visit her, and she doesn't take too kindly to Phineas or his family after Isabella introduces them to her. Can Phineas and Isabella change her grandmother's attitude towards them? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz develops a video game console that has the power to take control of the minds of the Tri-State Area.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun glared down on the Tri-State Area; it was going to be a very hot, but enjoyable summer day. Isabella arose from bed and looked over at her side. She smiled as she gazed at Phineas, who was sound asleep and smiling aswell. She loved it when he smiled in his sleep. She straighten his blankets to keep him warm, kissed him, then made her way out of his bedroom window back to her house.

After climbing through her bedroom window, saying her good mornings to Pinky, she crept downstairs to find her mother eating her breakfast. "Morning, Mom."

"Morning, Isa. I take it you slept well?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"That's good, because you're definitely going to need to be rested for today."

"Why? What's happening today? Other than Phineas and his family coming over here for dinner?"

"Your grandmother is coming over for a visit."

Isabella gasped. "She is? Today? I thought she was coming over next week."

"She was at first. But she called me last night while you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you. She's getting a new job a few cities away and decided to stop by for a visit."

"Oh. Well, that's...great."

"I'm sure she'll love Phineas just as much as you do, Isa."

"Sure. Sure she will." Isabella said, a slight hint of regret and fear in her voice. Although it seemed like she was excited to see her grandmother again, there was something more to her visible distaste.

"Isa? Is everything OK?" Her mother asked her.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, everything's fine, Mom." She lied.

In fact, it was the exact opposite of fine. Emotionally, Isabella was not exactly looking forward to seeing her grandmother, even though she dearly enjoyed her company. The truth of the matter was, back in the beginning of the summer, after Isabella decided to run away following Phineas's repeated demonstrations of his obliviousness, she phoned her grandmother and left her a very strong, verbal message voicing her anger. She used as many curse words as she could think of, and any other words she could think of to insult Phineas. She was so angry and was convinced that he would never wise up.

But now, several months later, she was in a very strong & loving relationship with him, and could not, for the life of her, think of any bad word to describe him. Her love for him was stronger than ever and she looked forward to every single day she spent with him. Now, knowing that her grandmother would be stopping by very soon, she feared the thought of her bringing up that phone call and those awful memories, especially given Phineas's extremely fragile self-esteem lately.

* * *

Meanwhile, across the street, Phineas & Ferb were wide awake and already planning their day. They were making the time they had count since they would be off to Isabella's house later in the day. The two stepbrothers eventually decided on building a giant shadow puppet projector that allowed them to produce shadow puppets into the night sky. They decided to hold off on using their invention until the sun went down, so that way, everyone in the town would be able to see them.

After they completed their project, they decided to head inside and have some lunch. It was then that the phone started to ring. Phineas put his empty plate in the sink and answered it. "Hello?"

"_Hi Phineas."_

"Oh, hi Isabella. What's up?"

"_Listen, Phineas, is it OK if we reschedule our dinner date tonight?"_

"What? Why? Is something wrong?"

"_No, it's just..."_

"Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Oh no, I forgot your birthday, didn't I?"

"_No! No, of course not, sweetheart. You haven't done anything wrong. You never do. It's...It's...You know what? I'll call you later."_

"Wait, Isabella!" But before he could try and talk some sense into her and stop her from hanging up, she had already hung up. "That was weird. She seemed kinda stressed. Oh well, I'm sure it's not that big of a deal. I guess I'll see her later then...hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry, meanwhile, was already in his lair, and ready to receive his mission.

"Good morning, Agent P." Monogram said on the screen. "The evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. This time, he's created a 3D video game that allows him to take control of the minds of those who decide to play it. I know because...unfortunately, he got Carl." Monogram moved the camera off to the side to show Carl hooked up to some sort of contraption with a helmet on his head, with wires connected to a big screen TV. From what was seen, Carl was playing the video game, but unfortunately, he got lost in the game and was now just one of the many victims that fell for Doofenshmirtz's plan.

"Yes, I know. Tragic. But that's why we need you, Agent P." The screen changed scenes, as something started popping up from the ground. It was a game console, with a CD of Doofenshmirtz's new video game already inserted and a helmet already plugged in. "We need you to go inside the video game and stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I'll try and help you along the way, but I'm not very good at video games. I-I can't even play Pac-Man, and that's, like, the easiest game in existence. Just turn the game console on, put the helmet on, and we'll be all set. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry saluted and proceeded to put the helmet on and turn the console on. Within the blink of an eye, Perry was knocked unconscious physically, while mentally, he was transported inside the video game, where so many other innocent minds lay.

Once the process was complete, Perry found himself inside the video game. The background consisted of several suburban buildings. It appeared to be a recreation of the Tri-State Area, only with a much gloomier feel to it. Most of the buildings were damaged, the skies were covered in dark clouds, with lighting striking at every possible second. As he looked around, he could several clones of Norm the Robot roaming around. Other than that, there were very few civilians on the streets.

His watch suddenly started beeping, and Agent P realized that his boss was trying to communicate with him. "Agent P, welcome to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's sick, twisted video game. According to the manual, the objective of this game is to defeat all of his Normbot, invade his headquarters, and take him done. Hmm, that sounds awfully familiar for some reason. **(A/N: Phineas & Ferb Across The 2nd Dimension The Video Game reference)** But, Doofenshmirtz has apparently been able to hack this game and make it so nobody ever defeats him. I don't know how, but we'll get to the bottom of it. In the meantime, you've got to stop him! It's imperative!"

"Doofenshmirtz has constructed a **B**ig **O**bject **M**ade for **B**lowing up stuff, or B.O.M.B. for short, that, when detonated, will send a massive wave of hypnotism that will take over the minds of the children who were suckered into playing this game. Agent P, you must stop Doofenshmirtz from detonating that bomb, and you only have 12 hours to do so."

Perry saluted him and went off to defeat the Normbots. Unfortunately, his attempts to remain unseen failed. Instantly, he was spotted by an oncoming Normbot, and promptly blasted mercilessly. One of them knocked him off of his feet completely and down a sewer hole. He feel several hundred feet until he finally hit the ground underneath, where Perry quickly lost consciousness.

He regained it several hours later. He found himself still underground after falling through the sewer hold. He sat up and checked his watch, realizing that much time had passed since he lost consciousness. "Agent P, get up!" Major Monogram shouted over the watch communicator. "You fell several hundred feet through a manhole and you've been unconscious for quite some time." Perry checked the time and realized that he was down to 4 hours. "Yeah, time flies when you're having fun." Monogram responded sarcastically. Perry flipped through his watch and realized that because he took damage in the game, he lost some of his "lives"

"You started this game with 10 lives, Agent P. You lose a life every time you take a substantial amount of damage. Now you're done to five lives. You better use them wisely, Agent P. And remember, if you don't disable his B.O.M.B. within the next 4 hours, it will explode, allowing Doofenshmirtz to take control of every player that plays his devious game. Hurry, Agent P."

Perry gave Monogram a salute, then proceeded to use his "fedora-copter" to escape the sewer and get back to the surface world (of the video game, that is)

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the real world, it was close to dinnertime, and the Flynn-Fletcher family were all in the midst of preparing for their dinner with Isabella & Vivian (and unbeknownst to them, Isabella's grandmother). Though formal dress was not requested by them, Phineas wanted to make a good impression, and tried to dress as nicely as he could without overdoing it.

"Phineas!" Linda called from the front door. The rest of the family were waiting on Phineas. "Come on! We don't want to be late!"

"Coming, Mom!" He shouted from the bathroom as he was finishing up. He stepped out and slowly made his way down the stairs, dressed in a nice, formal attire.

"Phineas, what in the world are you wearing?"

"What? What's the problem?"

"It's just Isabella & Vivian. I don't think you have to dress up like that."

"But I want to look nice for her. She deserves only the best from me."

"Aw, that's sweet, honey. But believe me, they won't say anything about it."

"But..."

"Phineas, go back upstairs and change into your regular clothes. Trust me."

Phineas sighed and trudged back upstairs. "Alright, Mom." He took several moments to come back down, in his regular attire, in which he felt much more comfortable. "You were right, Mom. This _is_ better."

"See? I told you." With that, the family wasted no more time, as they made their way across the street over to the Garcia-Shapiro home. When they arrived at the front door, Linda knocked and waited for a response, and was greeted by Vivian & Isabella.

"Linda! Glad you could make it."

"You know we wouldn't miss this for the world." Linda responded as they all made their way in. "Phineas probably wouldn't let us." She noted as made a reference to how Isabella & Phineas immediately greeted each other with a warm hug, & Isabella instantly showered Phineas with kisses. Both mothers chuckled. "They are so cute together, aren't they?"

"Yes. Yes they are." Vivian responded as she, Linda, Ferb, and Candace went into the kitchen.

"I'm really glad you could come tonight, Phineas." Isabella told him as she warmly hugged him again, nuzzling her head into his neck.

"I am, too, Isabella. But am I dressed appropriately? I could go home and put on my tux if you want."

"No way. You look wonderful just the way you are."

"Are you sure, Isabella? It's not too much trouble."

"Phineas, look at me." She lifted his chin slightly and both smiled. "You're fine. You're cute just the way you are and I would not want you wearing any other article of clothing than what you're wearing right now. Stop worrying. Come on, let's eat before..."

"Before what?" Phineas inquired Isabella's hesitation, only to be interrupted by the sound of knocking at the front door. "Who's there?"

_It better not be my grandmother._ Isabella thought to herself as she frightfully trudged to the front door, and slowly opened it. At the door stood a very short, wrinkly Latina lady with gray hair, earrings, a regular shirt on, dress pants, and shoes on. Her face lit up immediately upon seeing Isabella. "Isa, my darling!" The lady shouted, in a sassy, feminine-like voice as she took small steps to approach Isabella, and eventually, the two embraced, though Isabella's was half-hearted. **(A/N: Just picture her having a voice like Benita Moreno, who played George Lopez's mother on the sitcom "George Lopez")** "It's so nice to see you."

"It's great to see you, too, Grandma." Isabella reacted with little enthusiasm, detectable instantly by her grandmother, Benita Garcia-Shapiro.

"What's wrong, honey?

"Nothing, Grandma. Nothing at all."

"Mija, you should know by now that you can't lie to your grandmother."

"I'm not lying, Grandma. It's just..."

"Hey, Isabella!" Phineas approached his girlfriend at the front door. "What's..." It was then that he saw Isabella's grandmother. "Who's this?"

"Phineas, this is my grandmother..." She responded slowly, turning to her grandmother. "Grandma, this is Phineas...the boy I told you all about."

"You told your grandmother about me?" Phineas inquired, with a wry smile on his face. "Aw, that's so nice of you."

"Sure. Anything for you..." Isabella clenched her teeth together as her grandmother came in and closed the door behind her. Phineas went into the kitchen, leaving Isabella & her grandmother alone in the living room. Her grandmother immediately gave her granddaughter her a disapproving look.

"Isa, what's going on?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Grandma, look. I can explain..."

"I thought he broke your heart and you angrily turned him down after he begged for forgiveness."

"I did. But then, s-something happened and I ended up in the hospital, and...and he was crying next to my bed. He-He didn't really mean to be so oblivious, grandma. He's really one of the nicest boys in town, and he would take a bullet for me."

"Do you really believe that nonsense?"

"Nonsense?"

"Mija, he shattered your heart and dreams into a million pieces. You ran back home crying!"

"But he didn't mean to..."

"'He didn't mean to'. Is that what he told you?"

"N-No. B-But Phineas isn't like that. He's never mean to anybody, and he always tries to brighten everybody's day, and sometimes, it really takes a toll on him, physically, and emotionally."

"Let me tell you something, darling. Boys always say that. 'Oh, I didn't mean to hurt you'. 'I didn't realize that today was our special day'. Blah, blah, blah! They say the same thing every time, but they don't really mean it."

"But I'm telling you, Phineas is different!"

"Trust me, honey. The sooner you realize that he's just like every other boy in existence, the sooner you can wise up and put him in his place."

Isabella attempted to refute, but with her grandmother as stubborn as she was, she knew it wouldn't amount to anything. So, she sighed, and followed her grandmother into the kitchen. Everyone was seated at the table, with the exception of Phineas, who stood by another unoccupied chair, and pulled it out for Isabella. The girl blushed and faintly kissed him, making him laugh. He did the same thing for Isabella's grandmother, but did not get the same response. Her response was more cold and cunning-like.

Oblivious to her reaction, Phineas sat down in his own chair, hungry enough to eat a horse. "So, Mrs. Garcia Shapiro," He turned to Vivian. "What have you made for dinner tonight?"

"Tonight I cooked a Garcia-Shapiro family recipe." Vivian picked up a heavy pot and brought it over from the stove to the table. "Tonight we are having our famous family 7-cheese lasagna."

"Oooh..." The entire group simultaneously responded.

"Sounds delicious." Phineas responded.

"Sounds fattening." Benny rebutted, intentionally refuting Phineas's claim to try and spite him.

Vivian, unaware of the hidden tension between Isabella and her grandmother, blinked. "But ma, this is _your_ recipe. I would imagine _you_ of all people would be-" Isabella tried, without making noise, to shush her mother. "Never mind."

She handed everybody their plates and told them all to dig in, which everybody, except for Isabella & Phineas, proceeded to do. In fact, Phineas even tried to offer Isabella some of his.

"You want some of mine, Isabella?"

Isabella looked over her shoulder to Phineas, who was smiling and pushing his plate toward her. "No thank you, Phineas. You enjoy it."

"Are you sure? You told me you love your mom's lasagna."

"Yeah, but you should have some, too. I'm not going to let you starve yourself again."

Phineas sighed, then laughed. "Alright. If you insist." He took his plate back and started digging in, and instantly, his taste buds were taken on such a ride. Isabella, meanwhile, leaned to her left and whispered to her grandmother.

"He just offered me some of his food. Does _that_ seem like the behavior of a boy who doesn't like me?" She asked hastily to her grandmother.

"Just wait, mija. Just wait." Was all her grandmother could respond with, as she started eating her lasagna.

"SO, Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro..." Linda spoke, hoping to stir up a conversation. "What brings you out to this part of town?"

"What? Can't a grandmother just stop by unannounced every once in a while?" She responded in a cranky-like tone. "Can't I make sure my own granddaughter is doing alright?"

"I suppose not."

"Don't worry about that." Phineas spoke up to Isabella's grandmother. "You can trust me to take care of your granddaughter. I will do everything I can to protect her."

"It's true. He will." Isabella continued. "He's already saved my life on a number of occasions. Plus, when I was sick and tired, he tucked me into bed and read me a bedtime story."

"Did he now?" Her skeptical grandmother asked.

"Yes. Yes he did." She reached her arm over and tickled under Phineas's chin. He responded with a child-like laugh. "And I would do the same for him in a heartbeat."

"Well, good for him." She muttered to herself and went right back to her food.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry, having just escaped from the sewers, now had to get over to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, find his newest creation, his B.O.M.B., and disarm it before it detonated and gave Doofenshmirtz total control of all of the players in the game.

What seemed peculiar to Perry was that there were no other players to be seen at all. This led Perry to assume that either all of the other players were already captured by Doofenshmirtz or that he was being punk'd by his boss. He decided to believe the former because he didn't think Monogram nor Carl were clever enough to come up with a prank this good.

He continued to make his way towards Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, trying to avoid the merciless army of Norm bots. With each step he took, his anxiety built slightly, to the point where even if he stepped on a tiny little twig, he would take a battle position, assuming that it was Norm bot.

Eventually, though, Perry did happen to run into a Norm bot, and it was a menacing sight for someone Perry's size. "My name is Norm." The Norm bot boomed. "You are in violation of Weirdly Specific Doof Law #6.32-A-9 Question Mark: No playpuses wearing movie-depicted fedoras with cool secret agent background music may wander in the streets after the hour of 5. And it is now..." The Norm Bot checked his watch, and exaggerated his statement, as if to stall for time until the clock actually did read 5:00. "5:00."

Perry rolled his eyes and jumped out of the way before the Norm Bot could blast him. He proceeded to dash off in the direction of Doofenshmirtz's lair, hoping to gain some distance from the Norm bot. But as soon as he did gain some distance, he ran into several other Norm Bots. One Norm Bot would be easy work for Perry, but multiple Norm Bots were a different story. There were literally 3 dozen Norm Bots standing, er, floating right in front of the building, and their armor was far too tough for Perry to break through.

As a result, Perry was captured by the Norm Bots and taken back to Doofenshmirtz's lair to be locked up. He was brought into his lair and found the evil genius staring out his window, wearing a black outfit (similar to his 2nd Dimension counterpart). Looking around, he discovered that the majority of the other players, whom were mostly children, were already captured and locked up.

"Perry the Platypus..." Doofenshmirtz snickered as he turned to face his nemesis. "So nice of you to join me. I see you've fallen into my video game trap, just like everyone else. Allow me to explain my latest evil scheme." He walked towards the middle of the room and banged on the ground twice. Moments later, a small podium rose from the ground, with a small, spherical object with a timer on it. "I have discovered the perfect way to take over the Tri-State Area."

"Behold, my **B**ig **O**bject **M**ade for **B**lowing up stuff! Or B.O.M.B. for short. With this, I will take control of all the minds of the players throughout the Tri-State Area! Once I do so, I can create my very own army, with which I will take over City Hall, and become ruler of this place. I mean, in real life of course. Not in the game. And as for you," He snapped his fingers; the Norm Bots responded by dragging Perry to the nearest open cage and dropped him in. "And don't even think about escaping. The bars are made with extremely sturdy titanium. There's no way any of your gadgets will break through them."

The Norm Bots quickly filed out of the rooms, with Doofenshmirtz following behind him. "Enjoy the time that you have left, Perry the Platypus. In just over one hour, my B.O.M.B. will explode, and it will put an end to all video games forever! Oh, and give me eternal control of the Tri-State Area." He proceeded to cackle loudly as he shut the door behind him, leaving all of his prisoners trapped.

* * *

Back at the house, everyone was wrapping up on their dinner. The table remained particularly quiet, with nobody really saying anything to each other, especially not Isabella's grandmother, still holding a grudge against Phineas.

"Vivian, you've outdone yourself." Linda remarked about Vivian's lasagna. "That was delicious."

"I'll say." Phineas agreed, as he slowly dropped his fork onto his empty plate and patted his stomach in satisfaction. "I haven't felt this full in a long time."

"Glad to hear that." Isabella remarked, reminiscing on how Phineas once went on a crash-diet in an effort to unnecessarily lose weight for her. "I knew you would love that."

"Would anybody care for seconds?" Vivian asked, picking up on Isabella's hints.

"I think Phineas would like another piece." Isabella responded as she looked over to her boyfriend and stared lovingly at him. His plate was empty, and it was evident from his facial expressions that he was yearning for another piece, but was hesitant to ask for it. "Would you like another piece, Phineas?"

"Huh?" He looked up from his plate and noticed Isabella smiling at him, with a concerned look on her face. "Uh, no thanks, Isabella. I-I'm full."

"Are you sure? You took a small piece. I would imagine that you're hungry." Since the incident where Phineas, so disgusted with his appearance, tried to lose weight by going on a crash diet, Isabella had been steadily trying to persuade Phineas to increase his food intake, not to make him fat, but to help him overcome the anxiety he felt when he tried to do what he did. It put a lot of stress on him, and he still hadn't recovered completely.

"Don't listen to her, mijo." Benny interrupted. "This lasagna can fill you up pretty quick. I mean, sure, it's one lasagna here and there. But then you start eating one every other day, then two, and then soon, you're eating lasagna every single day. The pounds add up fast, and sooner or later, you'll gonna be sitting on the couch wondering what happened to you."

Phineas started sweating as the thoughts raced in his mind. He slowly pushed his plate away from here, only to be stopped by Isabella.

"Phineas, don't you dare push that plate away!" Then she turned to her grandmother. "Grandma, stop taunting Phineas like that."

"What's the problem? I'm just saying that this stuff comes back to bite you in the butt if you're not careful."

Again, Phineas shuddered as she spoke. Phineas hated it when anyone other than Isabella used "that" word in front of him.

"You wouldn't understand, Grandma. You just wouldn't understand."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Now Benny was turning on her own granddaughter.

"Nothing! Forget I said anything." Isabella put her head down and concentrated back on her plate. Nobody said anything else about the matter. Instead, Vivian decided to try and change the subject by reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out some chocolate cake.

"Who would like some dessert?" Vivian asked, placing the cake on the table. Phineas gazed at it. Chocolate was Phineas's favor flavor of anything: ice cream, cake, candy bar, you name it. In any normal circumstance, Phineas would finish devouring his dessert before anyone. But, this was not a normal circumstance, and was now once again resisting the desire to gorge on a delicious piece of his favorite dessert. "Phineas, would you like a piece?" Vivian asked Phineas. He looked up and stared at the cake that was on the table. He licked his lips, resisting a desire to grab a piece for himself.

"Go ahead, Phineas. Take a piece." Isabella tried to urge him. "It's OK. It's chocolate cake. Your favorite."

"I wouldn't, if I were you." Benny once again stepped in. "Those things will go straight to your thighs."

Phineas gulped nervously. He hastily pushed his plate towards the middle again. "I'm full." He announced, a hint of anger in his voice.

"Phineas, don't do this just because my grandmother told you to." Isabella attempted to convince her boyfriend.

"Why not?" Benny asked bitterly. "He eats too much of this stuff, you and I both know what's going to happen. He's gonna bloat up like a stinkin' helium balloon. I mean, seriously, is that what you want, Isa? You want a man who's going to eat twice his weight in fast food a day until he gets so heavy he's forced to stay in bed? News Flash, Isa! You'll be the one taking care of him for the rest of your life if that happens. Do you really want that?"

"No. And it won't happen. Because _I'm_ going to take care of him when we get older! I promise I will" She proclaimed, as she got out of her seat, ran to Phineas and hugged him. Phineas was touched by the gesture of affection Isabella was showing, and returned the hug. Everyone in the room, with the exception of Benny, smiled. Benny was not impressed in the least.

"_You're _gonna take care of him?" Benny asked her granddaughter. "You're gonna take care of the boy you think is the "dumbest, most idiotic excuse for a boy" you've ever seen?"

Everyone's attention now turned to Benny, including Isabella, who rushed over to her and tried to stop her from saying anymore.

"Grandma..." She was now gritting her teeth. "I never said anything like that."

Benny, however, refused to play along. "Yes you have. In fact, you left me a phone message about it."

Phineas blinked. "Wait a minute. She called you about that?"

"She was crying hysterically. You must've really hurt her. How could you be such an inconsiderate jerk to my own granddaughter?"

"Now wait just a minute." Candace interrupted. "Nobody calls my brother a jerk! He was never mean to Isabella, or anybody for that matter."

"Yeah, he was just oblivious, that's all." Isabella continued. "Perfectly understandable. He _is_ a boy, after all. I think he's the most wonderful boy in the world."

"That's not what you told me." Benny reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, scrolling through for a particular phone message that Isabella had left her. "Listen for yourselves." She pressed play, and the message started going. The first sound that came up was the sound of hysterical crying, more specifically, Isabella crying.

"_Oh, abuela! I don't know who else to turn to! No matter what I do, and no matter what I say, Phineas just doesn't get it! He is so focused on those stupid, pointless projects of his, and spending time with his stupid stepbrother! The guys doesn't even talk much, for pete's sake! I have much more interesting things to say!" _There was a brief pause; during which Isabella attempted to compose herself.

Meanwhile, everyone who was listening, with the exception of Benny, turned to Isabella, who could barely look in their direction.

"_I feel like giving up! I'll never get Phineas to like me! Well, if he doesn't want to spend time with me, then fine! He can have all the time he wants with "Ferb"! I'll just leave and never come back. That stupid, goofy-smiling, pointy-nosed, ugly-looking moron won't even notice! I hate him so much!"_ After a few more seconds of sobbing, the message ended abruptly. Everyone's facial expressions, with the exception of Benny, and Phineas, turned angry at Isabella.

"How could you make my granddaughter cry like that?" Benny asked Phineas, who was both stunned and rather angry. But instead of answering, Phineas turned to Isabella, his anger showing clearly.

"Phineas, I can explain-"

"You don't have to explain anything." He spoke, a quiver in his voice. "I get it."

"No, Phineas. You don't get it!"

"Oh, so _now_ you're calling me an idiot, too? Sure, keep piling on! Kick me while I'm down!" He raised his voice and glared at her. "You've already called me ugly and stupid. What else is there to say?" Isabella didn't respond. "If you really felt that way about me, why did you lie to me all summer? You said that you loved me, and that you thought I was cute." He scoffed as he stood up and attempted to walk out of the house. "I should've known."

But Isabella got out of her seat too and grabbed his arm, hoping to stop him. "Wait."

He turned hastily and gritted his teeth. "Why the heck should I? You know, I can understand you being angry with me for being oblivious to your feelings for me. But what I can't understand is you trashing me the way you did. And to your grandmother? Y-You didn't even have the nerve to come and confront me about it. First off, you ran away from home, and got us all worried sick."

As much as Isabella wanted to interrupt, she couldn't bring herself to do so. He was right about every point he brought up, and at the moment, she felt like she didn't deserve him.

"All of this time, I've been blaming myself for what happened. I've blamed myself for you running away and getting sucked into a rock band you clearly didn't want to be apart of. I have spent sleepless nights lying in bed, trying to figure out what I could do to make you forget about that whole incident. But now, now after _this_, I finally get it. I finally understand. None of this was my fault."

Phineas wiped a tear from his eye. "You know what? If you were really in love with me, you would have just come out and you would have said what was on your mind. You should've been able to realize that I'm not very good with romance. But instead, you took advantage of me. You _knew_ that I wouldn't be able to pick up your signals at first, and you used that to your advantage to hook up with me. How could you sink so low?"

Vivian rushed over to try and calm Phineas down. "Phineas, you know that isn't true. Isa would never-"

"Stop." Came Isabella's voice, very weak and defeated. "He's right." She put her head down and shut her eyes. "I'm still haunted by that moment. I was so angry at you because I thought no matter what I did or said, you would be too obsessed with your projects to ever notice me. But I kept forgetting that a lot of your projects were actually specifically designed for me.

"I never really meant any of those things I said to my grandmother. I was just venting. But that doesn't make it right, because those words hurt you, and after everything you've been through this summer, the last thing you needed was to be hurt. You've been battered and beaten physically and emotionally and what I said didn't help you. Our entire relationship has been based on guilt, guilt that you just can't seem to let go. This isn't what I had in mind. You didn't sign up for this. So, if you wanna back out, if you want to go home and forget about me, and never, ever talk to me again, then I'll understand. And I'll be perfectly fine with it."

"Are you crazy? No way!" Phineas's tone softened up, and now it sounded like he was choking up. "I should have never put you in this situation."

"You just said that it wasn't your fault."

"I didn't mean it."

"But you were absolutely right. It _isn't_ your fault. Nobody ever said it was. It's not your fault, so I don't blame you for being mad at me. Heck, you _should_ be mad at me. I'm surprise you're not cursing me out."

"And why should he?" Benny interrupted, still at the table. Isabella, and everyone else, turned to her. "He has no right. He made my granddaughter cry her eyes out." Nobody answered. Nobody felt they had to answer her. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"

Finally, Vivian spoke up. "Mama, I think it would be best if you left. Now."

Benny was taken by surprise. She didn't expect to be suddenly asked to leave. But, she didn't argue. "Fine." She stood up and started walking towards the door, turning to her granddaughter. "If you want to spend your time with _this_," Referring to Phineas, in a negative way. "Be my guest. Grandma Benny is out. Peace!" She left the house and shut the door behind her, leaving everyone else in the house.

"Phineas, honey, are you OK?" Linda asked, breaking the silence. Phineas sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He responded, his voice deep and cracking with defeat. "I think I should go home." He started to turn and head for the door.

"Wait, Phineas!" Isabella shouted, grabbing his arm. "You forgot something!"

"What?" He asked Isabella, with a simple desire to go home and forget about the entire day.

Isabella , however, had other ideas. So, she dragged him back into the kitchen, sat him down, cut him a large piece of cake, and gave it to him. "You forgot your dessert." She responded, handing him a fork. Phineas sighed and put the fork down on the table.

"Isabella, is this really necessary?"

"Yes! Phineas, do not listen to my grandmother. Enjoy this piece of dessert, and if you want another piece, take it."

"But I'm not hungry. Really, I'm not."

"Phineas, I saw you lick your lips. I know you want a piece of this cake."

"Of course I licked my lips. I like chocolate cake, but that doesn't mean I want any. You heard your grandmother. It'll go straight to my thighs. I'll balloon up and be bedridden."

"And I would still love you." She leaned in and kissed him. "But I think you're overreacting. Just have a couple of bites. That's all I ask. Please? For me?" She clasped her hands together and gave him "puppy dog eyes". Phineas started tearing up himself.

"I-I'll try, Isabella. I will. But I'm not that hungry." He turned back to his food and picked up his fork. He took a tiny bite out of his cake as Isabella lightly stroked his hair.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the video game world, Perry had an enormous task ahead of him. With less than 5 minutes left before Doofenshmirtz's B.O.M.B. was scheduled to explode, Perry was desperate to break out of his cage. The only problem that Perry faced was that none of his gadgets were able to break through the bars, as Doofenshmirtz had pointed out earlier. Running out of gadgets, Perry reached into his fedora and pulled out one final piece of gadgetry. It was given to him earlier in the summer by Monogram; it was a shrink ray.

He aimed the shrink ray at himself, pulled the trigger, and instantly dropped down to the size of a marble. With his new size, he was able to easily slip through the bars without trouble. Now out of the cage, he ran over to the B.O.M.B. in an effort to disarm it. The wiring of the B.O.M.B. was much more complicated than Perry had seen with other bombs, so disarming it took a bit longer.

In fact, by the time that Perry was even able to figure out what wires went where, Doofenshmirtz had returned, with several Norm Bots as back-up. "Guards!" He shouted, pointing at Perry. "Seize him!" Perry sped up his work, trying to figure out which wire to cut to stop the timer. Finally, he just decided on one random wire to cut, and then took off in another direction to avoid Doofenshmirtz's wrath. "Come back here, Perry the Platypus!"

What Perry was not aware of was that the wire that he decided to cut was not the one that shut down the B.O.M.B. No, the wire he cut did something entirely different, as he and everyone else trapped in the video game would find out. Pretty soon, there was an ear-splitting, sonar-like noise heard emanating from the bomb. "What's that noise?" Doofenshmirtz spoke, the noise only getting louder and louder. The B.O.M.B. itself began shaking violently. "What's going on with my B.O.M.B?"

Before anybody knew it, the B.O.M.B exploded, causing everyone (except Perry, of course) to scream. But, instead of everyone trapped in the world going free, as was Perry's plan, the game appeared to begin resetting itself, backtracking all of Perry's progress up to that point, effectively putting him in the exact place he started in. His communicator watch started beeping; it was Major Monogram on the other line.

"Agent P, I'm sorry to have to inform you of this, but in some bizarre, utterly unexplained fashion, you've somehow managed to reset the entire game, and in doing so, you've gone back to square 1. That means, unfortunately, you're going to have to repeat all of your progress if you want to stop Doofenshmirtz. The good news, though, is that maybe this time around, you can avoid falling down that sewer hole that cost you so much time the first go-around." Monogram gave a little chuckled as Perry rolled his eyes and went off.

Unfortunately, his next steps saw him fall down the exact same sewer hole he had fallen down the first time around, to the utter disgust and flat-out frustration of his boss. "Then again...maybe not." He said before cutting communications entirely with his agent, shaking his head.

* * *

Back at home, Phineas had just (begrudgingly) finished the piece of chocolate cake Isabella cut for him. The entire time he was eating, Isabella sat right next to him, and either stroked his hair or kissed him, in an effort to beg for his forgiveness after he had heard the harsh remarks she had made about him earlier in the summer, and to let him know just how much she loved him. She was convinced that he had forgotten how much she meant to him and was determined to remind him.

"All finished?" She asked him, to which he nodded. "Would you like another piece?" He violently shook his head. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Isabella. Now I'm really full."

"Alright then." She took the dish from him and washed it out in the sink before returning to him and greeting him with a kiss and a warm hug. "Come on. I'll take you home." He grabbed his hand and helped him out of the chair towards the door. While she and Phineas got a head start, Linda and the rest of the family thanked Vivian for the meal.

"Thanks again, Vivian. Aside from your mother barging in like that, this was wonderful." Linda told her. "We really should do this more often."

"I agree. And tell Phineas I wish him the best. He looked a bit upset when my mother left."

"You don't have to tell me twice. I'll give him your best regards." Everyone said their goodbyes and left the house, on the way back home. Meanwhile, Isabella & Phineas had already made it back home, and now Isabella was in the middle of tucking Phineas into bed, even preparing a bedtime story for him, one she wrote herself.

"Comfy?" She asked him as she tucked him in nice and tight. A tear dripped down his face as he nodded weakly. "Good. You'll need to be for what I have in store for you."

"W-What do you mean?" He asked hesitantly.

"I want to read you a bedtime story tonight, and I think you'll love it."

"Isabella, wait." He said as she climbed into bed and got herself comfortable right next to him. "I don't know if I'm in the mood for a story tonight. In fact, I'm not even sure I'm in the mood to have you over tonight."

Isabella was taken aback by this. Every night, for about the entire summer, they've slept together in the same bed and they have loved the experience. "Y-You're not?"

"No. No I'm not. What did you expect? For me to just forgive you and ignore all of the things you said about me on that message?" He sat up, pulling the blankets right off of him. "You think it's that easy?"

"I'm sure it isn't, Phineas, and I don't blame you if you're mad at me. I shouldn't have said those nasty things about you, since none of them are true. You know what I think of you. I think you're the most adorable, most beautiful, most selfless boy I've ever met."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do. Why must you always question me?"

"I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you _ran away at the beginning of summer!"_ Phineas almost shouted, hastily turning in Isabella's direction, making her cower a bit. "Maybe it's because you were ready to throw your entire life away and join a rock band all just to get back at me! All you wanted was to see me hurt! Well, guess what? I've been hurting all summer, but you don't seem satisfied yet!"

"You think that now, after all this time has passed, I actually _want_ to see you unhappy?" She fired back, sitting up. This time, he started cowering. "You're deluding yourself. Every time you beat yourself up, I go home and I cry, because deep down, I know it's my fault. I desperately want to make it up to you and prove that I'm sincere and faithful to you." She brushed some bangs off of his face and pulled him in as close to her as she could. "I wish I had never run away, but I can't take that back."

"We could use the time machine to go back to the day you ran away and stop you from running away." Phineas responded.

"But if we did that, then we wouldn't be as close to each other as we are now. I mean, it was a mistake for me to run away. But think about it. If I hadn't, then we wouldn't know just how much we truly belong together. I love you Phineas, and if I had it my way, I would spend every waking moment and every sleeping moment right next to you. But I don't, because I know how much spending summer with Ferb doing outrageous and physics-defying stunts means to you. I just want to be a part of that."

"I want you to be a part of it too. I care about you a lot and I just can't seem to get over what I did to make you so miserable all those months ago."

"Maybe this bedtime story I wanna read to you can help." She pulled out a notebook and opened it. Phineas peered at the cover and read the title.

"The Day My Life Changed Forever"." He read aloud. "Kinda corny, don't you think?"

"Maybe. But that doesn't make it any less true." She said as she turned to the first page. "I wrote this story myself."

"You did?"

"Yep. I've admired you for years, and I've been pouring my feelings into this. It used to be my diary, but then, it turned into this crazy, mystical story about us, and now it's time for me to finally read it to you." She pulled him in closer and cleared her throat.

"Once upon a time, there lived a wonderful, beautiful, playful little boy. A boy that thrived on the thrill of summer vacation. A boy that could make even the crankiest human being happy with just a flash of his adorable, baby-faced smile. Little did I know that this young, cute little baby boy would one day turn into the man I love and cherish today." She turned the page, and on the very next page were several baby pictures of Phineas. In each picture, Phineas had a huge smile on his face and was holding his rattle.

"Is that me as a baby?" He asked.

"Yes. Yes it is. And you were _so_ cute!" She reached her hand towards him and pinched his face. "And you're still the innocent baby that I've come to love." She turned back to the book. "Prince Phineas was adored by everyone he came in contact with. Some loved him more than others. But there was one girl: one tiny, shy, cute little girl that lived across the street that loved him more than anybody could ever love him."

"You?" He asked quietly, hesitating as she looked up at him again.

"Yes, silly. Me." Back to the book she went. "One day, little Isabella was sitting on the sidewalk in front of her house, having just been kicked out by her father. It was raining cats & dogs, and little Isabella couldn't stop crying."

"Wait, that was before we had met." Phineas reminded her.

"I know. So what did little Phineas do? Ever the gentleman, he went over to the sobbing girl and tried to console her. He didn't even know her, but he couldn't stand to see anybody upset, not even complete strangers." She turned to Phineas once again, who by now, having remembered that day clearly, was in tears. "Do you remember what happened next, Phineas?" The boy shook his head. "Let me remind you." She leaned in as close as she physically could, and gave him the warmest hug she had ever given him, with no intent of letting go. Phineas could feel a warmth take over, and put on a smile as he returned the hug.

"Isabella, what was that for?"

"This was what you did that day when I was sobbing out in the rain. You hugged me and tried to make me feel better, and now, I'm trying to return the favor. I'm sorry for everything I said on that phone message. I'm sorry for ever making you feel like you were a loser, because you didn't deserve any of that harassment. You're such a beautiful boy and I'm privileged to be your friend, and I'll be even more privileged to be your wife when we're older. I don't want to see you cry anymore."

"It's funny. I know we're not nearly old enough for us to consider ourselves husband and wife, but whenever I'm with you, it just feels like I've been married to you forever. I just feel so good with you when I'm happy, and when I'm not..."

"You feel like a loser and you wish that you weren't around to burden us. You wanna just crawl into a dark hole and bury yourself until you're reduced to nothing, and that's a load of bologna. Every minute I'm next to you is an adventure, even if we're fast asleep in bed and I'm just listening to you snore loudly while staring at your cute, little butt all night long."

"I still can't believe I've let you go that far with that."

"Hey, it's not my fault you're incredibly attractive. I just like to admire your beauty, because there's so much of it. I like admiring everything about you, and the adventures we have together will only make our story grow larger."

"I can't wait to see what the rest of my life has in store and what adventures I have with all my friends, but they won't mean anything if you're not there to share it with me."

"I will. Don't worry about that. What you should worry about is getting some sleep. You'll feel much better in the morning."

"Wait, what about the rest of the story?"

"That _was_ the story. It was the story of the day we met, and the day our lives changed forever. I've got another book that entails every adventure you've had over the years. It's only going to get bigger and bigger because we have the rest of our lives to look forward too."

"I can't wait to get there."

"Well you have a lot of time before then. So let's enjoy it now, OK?" She asked him, he nodded. "OK." She pulled the blankets over the two of them, kissed him on the forehead, and then settled in as humanely close to him as she could, before giving him one more quick kiss on the lips and wrapping her arms tightly around his body.

"Hey, Isabella?"

"Yes, Phineas?"

"Could you do me a favor and not refer to me as 'Prince Phineas' anymore?"

"Can at least refer to you as "The Sweet Little Baby That Stole My Heart"?"

Phineas sweated a little bit, but eventually came around and smile. "Oh, alright."

"Good. Because referring to you in any other way would just be wrong. After all, you _did_ steal my heart."

"I know, I know. I just hope we can put all of this behind us once and for all. The last thing I would want is for you to be upset with me, and the last thing I want is to be upset with you, because-"

"Oh, shut up and start snoring already, you." She joked as she kissed him once more before helping him settle down and put him to sleep, where eventually, he did start snoring loudly, much to her delight. "Music to my ears." She responded before snuggling herself as close to his body as she could, a big smile on her face as she followed her boyfriend into dream land.

* * *

**During The Credits**

While everyone else was asleep, Perry was still hard at work, still trapped in the video game world. He had just repeated all of the hard work he had done before he had foolishly reset everything, and was now at the very same spot where it happened: at the B.O.M.B., trying to disable it.

The first time Perry was in this situation, he cut a blue wire. This time, he decided to stay clear of that color and cut any other wire. This time, he chose a green wire. Unfortunately, for some unknown reason, it produced the exact same result. The entire game reset itself, causing Perry to end up at the exact same spot he was at when he began. Once again, his watch buzzed.

"Agent P, it seems that no matter which wire you cut, the same result persists." Monogram said on the other end. "However, we have no reason to believe that this was Doofenshmirtz's real intentions, and we are convinced that this is simply a freak accident gone wrong. We'll continue to try and rescue you and all the other gamers out here in the real world until we come up with a solution. So for now, just...just try not to get blown up or something. Monogram out."

The connection went dead, and now Perry was forced to either 1) once again follow the steps he took to get to the place where he was before everything reset, or 2) trust in Monogram & Carl and hope that they could indeed figure out a way to end this horrid nightmare. On one had, Perry would be able to control the fates of himself and everyone trapped by Doofenshmirtz, assuring that they could safely get out safely, even though the odds of another repeat resetting were high. On the other hand, Monogram and Carl, though very skilled and capable hackers, had not experienced the video game like Perry and thus, their chances of success were much lower.

Perry chose option 2.

**End of Episode 56!**

**I'm so sorry for the long delay! I've been ambushed by schoolwork and everything, including something personal happening at school that I'd rather not talk about. Anyway, I haven't thought of which chapter I'm gonna write next, so please be patient with that. Thanks for the support!**


	70. 57a: Boy Genius?

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 57a: ********************Boy Genius?**

**A/N: I am SO, SO sorry for the long wait. If there is anyone still following this story, let me just say...THANK YOU! Thank you very much. You are very patient people. I can't **guarantee** that I will be updating faster from here on in, but I will try. Hopefully, posting this chapter will give me a little boost. For now, enjoy.**

**Episode Summary****************: When an invention of Phineas & Ferb's goes wrong, it accidentally turns Baljeet into a bumbling idiot. Now, it's up to them to return Baljeet his intelligence for his big competition. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz attempts to use his new -inator to "dumb down" his brother, Roger.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined brightly over the Tri-State Area, and as usual, Phineas and Ferb were hard at work with their latest project. And on cue, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet came into the backyard, the former giving her boyfriend a huge hug & kiss.

"Morning, Phineas." She said sweetly. "What'cha doin'?"

"Today we're gonna explore the human mind." He responded optimistically, as he usually does.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's our belief that everyone has a potential I.Q. of 200 and that all of the world's secrets are actually locked within the confines of their brain, inaccessible under normal circumstances. So, Ferb and I are inventing a helmet that will open up every inaccessible "chamber" in your brain and fill it with all of the knowledge of the world that you actually do know but don't express."

"Sounds...interesting."

"We could show you if you want. I could use it on you. You'd be filled with all of the knowledge of the world."

"N-No, that's OK. I'd rather not."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Sometimes, people who are really brainy and such can be kinda stuck up. No offense, Baljeet." She turned to the foreign boy, who gave her a sour scowl.

"I can assure you I am far from "stuck up"." Baljeet told her. "Right, Buford?"

"Leave me out of this, please."

"Don't worry. This machine has no effect on your personality. And it's harmless."

"Then allow me to be the test subject." Baljeet requested, stepping forward. "I am a contestant on Danville's newest game show "So You're Smarter Than Issac Newton, But Not As Smart As Albert Einstein"."

"Who makes up the names, anyway?" Bufored imposed.

"Not the point! The grand prize is a brand new cold fusion reactor."

"That doesn't seem like a normal game show prize to me." Phineas remarked.

"I know. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me and I want to be, as you say it, at the "top of my game!" So, may I try out your invention?"

"Well, I don't see why not." Baljeet approached Phineas as he placed the helmet over Baljeet's head. "Just give it a couple of minutes to warm up, and after that, it'll be over in a flash. As long as we don't have any outside interference, you should be fine."

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was busy working on a new evil scheme, eagerly awaiting his nemesis' entrance.

"There! Finished." He exclaimed triumphantly, tightening the last bolt in his new -inator. "Thanks to my newest "Turn-Everyone-Into-A-Blathering-Idiot-inator, I will now be the smartest person in the entire Tri-State Area! Now, to find my first test subject...ah, I know! I'll use this on my brother, Roger." He started fiddling around with the machine's keyboard, punching in coordinates in order to locate his brother. "I'll use this in order to stifle his re-election campaign and..."

Doofenshmirtz's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door being broken down. He turned to find that Perry had arrived, and subsequently put himself in a position to be trapped by another one of Doofenshmirtz's "old-fashioned" traps.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus." He turned around and walked towards his nemesis. "Fashionably late, I see. Mixing it up a little. I like it. Anywho, I just kinda, you know, went through my monologue by myself. Did you happen to catch any of..." Perry shook his head. "No? OK, long story short. My brother is running for re-election, and I want to ruin his campaign. I figured out that my brother's primary strength is his ability to speak to crowds using big words with very lengthy definitions - words that would take me a week just to spell. So, I invented the Turn-Everyone-Into-A-Blathering-Idiot-inator! It...it, eh, well the title speaks for itself. It turns whomever the blast hits into a blathering idiot."

Doofenshmirtz began to turn his machine on. "With one blast from this puppy, Roger's campaign for re-election will be ruined." He punched into his keyboard to locate his brother, who was standing in front of City Hall, preaching to potential voters. "Look at him. He thinks he's such a sure-thing. Well, given the recent polls, I guess I can't blame him." He quickly took out a piece of paper and handed it to Perry. The paper gave the results of the recent town poll, showing that Roger was so far ahead of the other two candidates that it was almost laughable. "But after this thing fires, that will all change."

Doofenshmirtz proceeded to press a button on his machine, and subsequently, the machine began violently shaking. "Uh oh. It seems I've accidentally pressed the "fire willy-nilly" button. You know, in retrospect, I question my motives behind actually including a "willy-nilly" button in the first place. Seriously, when was I _ever_ going to need to use that?"

The device continued to shake, and within seconds, become firing laser beams rapidly in all directions out of the window. Not only did the blasts completely miss Roger, but...

* * *

Down on Maple Street, Phineas and Ferb's "Super-Smarty" helmet was safely placed on Baljeet's head, and it was warming up. "OK, Baljeet. Now just sit tight and in a few minutes, you will officially be the most intelligent soon-to-be-middle-schooler the world has ever seen."

"Thank you, Phineas and Ferb." Baljeet thanked them. "Now I will surely win that Cold Fusion Reactor for sure. Nothing can stop me!" He cheered loudly, and just as he did, one of Doofenshmirtz's errant blasts hit Baljeet and gave him a sharp electric shock. He screamed and fell to the ground, seemingly unconscious.

"Baljeet!" Phineas shouted. He, along with the others, rushed to his aide. "Are you alright, buddy? Say something!"

Baljeet slowly opened his eyes, and looked around him to see all of his friends expressing concern over his well-being. "Why is everybody looking at me?' He said, with a gasp. His voice, though, was quite different. It was not at all like the brainy, intelligent Baljeet his friends had come to know and love. His voice sounded much deeper, and more idiot-like. (**Hint: Think "Ed, Edd, n Eddy". If you don't know what that is, research it online. It's a good show.)** "Do I have a bug on my face? AHHH!" He screamed, swatting his face as if he was swatting at an actual bug. "Get it off! Get it off!" His continued squirming around left question marks on his friends' tongues.

"Um, Baljeet?" Phineas questioned. "Are you alright?"

Baljeet blinked twice, presumably confused, before responding. "HUG ME!" He shouted loudly, opening his arms up for a hug. The friends were all left with mixed emotions, mostly consisting of confusion, fear, and paranoia.

"Why is the nerd suddenly acting like someone who got hit in the head with a rock?" Buford asked.

"I don't know."

"I thought the machine was supposed to make the wearer smarter." Isabella remarked.

"It is! But for some reason, it seems to have made him dumber."

"Perhaps that errant bolt of lightning that flashed just before the machine malfunctioned played a role." Ferb suggested.

"Maybe. But-"

"Hey guys!" Baljeet, still with his deep, moronic voice, interrupted. "Look what I found in the dirt!" He held up his left hand and showed a bunch of worms that he picked out of the dirt. His friends all expressed a similar consensus of disgust. "More for me!" He yelled stupidly before turning away, and running in the opposite direction rather awkwardly.

"Boy, this is a real mess." Phineas said, wiping his brow. "We have to turn him back into a genius."

"We better!" Buford yelled, with a hint of frustration in his voice. "I can't beat up an idiot for a nerd! It's not in my nature."

"What do we do now?" Isabella asked.

"We're going to have to fix up our helmet. We have to get Baljeet back to his big, brainy, nerdy self before that game show goes on tonight. Otherwise, he'll miss out on winning that cold fusion reactor."

"What is it with game shows and giving out cold fusion reactors as prizes lately?" Buford inquired as they all picked up the helmet and brought it with them to the backyard.

"Wait!" Isabella shouted suddenly, causing the entire gang to stop short. "What about Baljeet? We can't just let him run around the neighborhood in his idiotic state. What if he causes trouble?"

"Good point, Isabella. One of us will have to go after him and keep him under control."

"I'll do it." Buford said, letting go of his portion of the helmet. "I have to. He's my nerd. I have to make sure nobody else hurts him and that he doesn't hurt himself. It's in the code." He turned and then headed off in Baljeet's direction.

"I'll never understand the bully code." Ferb remarked, to which everyone murmured in agreement.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz, unsure of where his first blast had hit, and unwilling to do a thorough check, decided to move on and prepare for his brother. "Look at that, Perry the Platypus." He checked his watch. "It's 10:00 right on the spot. Time for Roger's campaign speech."

He aimed his -inator out the window, carefully aiming it towards city hall, where Rogers was in the midst of his campaign speech.

"My fellow citizens," He went on, completely unaware of the "evil" that was about to take place. "As voted the most accomplished, and most handsome mayor in Danville history, I promise you your pockets will become even deeper with green, your homes will become even more refreshing with better air conditioning during the summer, and unnecessary collection of monetary value from citizens will not be tolerated by our Tri-State government. Read my lips! NO NEW TAXES!"

Despite having just ripped off one of the most famous politically spoken line in history, the citizens gathered around cheered, much to Doofenshmirtz's disgust. He readied his -inator, and pressed the "fire" button. A laser fired at Roger, "My fellow citizens, it is with great pleasure that I declare this day..." and it hit him square on. "HAPPY FREE-GO DONKEY-DUNG DAY! YAY!" He finished, with an unusually high, squeaky voice, different from Baljeet's lower-key voice. Once finished, he clapped his hands together like that of an idiot. The citizens expressed much confusion, while Doofenshmirtz celebrated.

"I did it!" He shouted. "I turned my brother into a moron! What joy this has brought me!" He turned around in an attempt to gloat in front of his nemesis, only to see that he had escaped from his trap. "Hey, where did he go?" He turned back to his invention to find his nemesis attempting to disable the device. "Get down from there, Perry the Platypus!" He ran towards Perry only to have him jump off the -inator, having already tinkered with it enough for it to malfunction. He proceeded to chase Perry around his lair.

* * *

Meanwhile, down on the solid ground, the friends were all busy fixing up the helmet. Buford was busy trying to keep Baljeet out of trouble while the helmet was being fixed. That, though, proved to be a difficult challenge, because in his newly moronic state of mind, Baljeet was unpredictable. You could never know exactly what he would say or what he would do at any given moment, as Irving would soon find out.

"Hi Baljeet!" Irving greeted him upon his arrival at his house, unaware of the underlying circumstances. "I heard you're competing on "So You're Smarter Than Issac Newton, But Not As Smart As Albert Einstein" today."

"SILENCE!" Baljeet shouted, covering Irving's mouth. "Do not utter that name. Ha ha. I said 'utter'."

"Why?" Irving asked, his speech muffled.

"He walks among us." Baljeet answered, leaving Irving slightly stumped.

"What are you talking about, Baljeet?"

"He has risen from the dead and now he wants to eat our brains! You must hide before he gets your brain!"

"Baljeet, are you OK? You don't seem like yourself."

Baljeet gasped. "Oh no. I am too late! HE ALREADY GOT YOU! AHHHH!" With that, he started screaming and running around wildly. "SAVE THE BABIES! AHH!"

As Buford arrived on the scene, he couldn't help but shake his head in disgust. "How the mighty have fallen."

"Buford, what's wrong with Baljeet. He's not acting like himself."

"Let's just say that due to unforeseen circumstances, Baljeet's intelligence level has been reduced to that of a neanderthal, lacking the necessary qualities to sustain the label of "nerd" placed upon him by his peers." Buford responded in an unusual fashion, leaving the both of them confused.

"Say what?"

"Oh no! I'm talking all smart-like now!"

"I guess the universe is out of whack again. Since Baljeet's been turned into an idiot, the universe needed somebody to replace his genius."

"Well, why on Earth would the Universe pick me?"

"I guess since you've always been his bully, the Universe decided that you were the best fit for the role of 'genius'."

"But I don't want to be the genius. There are so many numbers and big words I have to pronounce right. It's just too hard, man. I'd rather be the guy that gives the nerd a wedgie." Buford let out a groan. "Those dweebs better fix that helmet."

"I'm sure they're almost done."

But back in the backyard, complications were causing a delay in the rebuilding of the helmet.

"We're nowhere close to being done." Ferb responded.

"I don't understand it." Phineas said in frustration. "The circuit-breaker keeps fritzing on us. Obviously we need to increase the circuit-breaker's strength before we can go any further. Ferb and I have the tools in our room to fix this thing. We'll be right back." He and Ferb briskly left the backyard and went into the house. At the same time, Baljeet came rushing out of nowhere and started screaming while running around in circles. Buford and Irving followed shortly after, with Buford looking excruciatingly frustrated with the situation.

"Is that stupid helmet done yet?" He asked rather frantically.

"No. Phineas and Ferb just went inside to get some more tools." Isabella responded.

"Aw, man! Are you saying I have to deal with this nitwit a little longer?"

"It can't be that bad, Buford."

"It's worse than you think." Irving jumped in. "He screams things that just don't make sense. I swear, if I didn't know that this was just a Phineas and Ferb invention gone wrong, I would say that Baljeet's a little demented."

"A_ little_ demented?" Isabella pointed in Baljeet's direction, where the boy was repeatedly banging his head onto the ground, apparently attempting to imitate a woodpecker. "I'm a woodpecker!" He shouted, and then banged his head a few more times. "Except with dirt."

By now, Isabella was past frustrated and now on a level of irritation never seen by any of her friends. "_PHINEAS! FERB!_" She shouted, almost mimicking how Candace used to shout at them. "_GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!_"

The two stepbrothers came out of the house carrying a whole boatload of supplies. "Calm down, Isabella. We're here. You sound just like Candace-" Phineas and Ferb entered the backyard with their usual optimistic attitudes. But when he and Ferb gazed at Baljeet acting like a woodpecker and potentially causing himself brain damage, their smiles faded. They could not give a response.

"He's pretending to be a woodpecker." Isabella told them.

"Is that what he's doing?"

"Do you guys have the supplies?"

"Yep. Everything we need to fix the helmet is in these boxes."

"Thanks goodness."

"Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of tending to McFly over here." Buford exclaimed, pointing in the direction where Baljeet was, only to discover that he had disappeared. "Hey, where'd McFly go?"

"He's over there!" Isabella pointed towards the tree. A small portion of Baljeet's body could be seen behind the tree. His actions were not well known, so they all got a closer look, only to discover that he was eating a caterpillar. Everyone let out a simultaneous "Ew!"

"He's eating a bug!" Buford pointed out the obvious. "That is disgusting! Ugh! I don't even know him anymore!"

"We gotta get this helmet fixed pronto!" Phineas shouted as the kids rushed to get the helmet working again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz was busy gloating about his success in making his brother dumber. He was so busy, in fact, that he failed to notice Perry escaping his trap and tinkering with his machine. "Look at him down there. He has absolutely no idea what he's saying. He's all 'Look at me, I'm Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz. Vote for me even though I'm dumber than a sack full of peanuts.'" He laughed out loud and turned towards the direction of his trap, expecting Perry to still be there. "What a riot! Am I right, Perry the - Perry the Platypus?" He gasped. "You've escaped."

Then he turned towards the direction of his -inator to see Perry re-wiring it. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You get away from there, Perry the Platypus!" He dashed towards his -inator, but in the nick of time, Perry leaped out of the way, allowing the -inator to fire at Doofenshmirtz. It fired full blast at him, reducing his intelligence level to that of a rodent. Yet when it was over, he remained unchanged. "Ah! I'm hit! I'm an idiot now!" He shouted, only to realize that he was actually still the same. "Oh, wait. I haven't changed. I don't under...ohhhh. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny."

Perry smirked, leaping out of the way before Doofenshmirtz could get a clean hit on him. "You come back here, Perry the Platypus, so I can whack you!" Unfortunately, Doofenshmirtz accidentally struck his machine, causing it to fire recklessly out of the window, and as a result, it hit another unsuspecting victim.

This time, the victim was a few houses down from where Baljeet was hit. More specifically, it was Cleveland Brown. Been a while since we've seen him, hasn't it? Sadly, he was the victim of another one of Doofenshmirtz's -inators. Of course, just like Doofenshmirtz, Cleveland was largely unaffected by the blast.

As it would turn out, Cleveland would also be the final victim of his -inator. During Perry's scuffle with Doofenshmirtz, he was able to trick the doctor into continuously hitting his own device until it began malfunctioning. Ultimately, the machine ended up exploding within minutes, leaving Doofenshmirtz surrounded by a bunch of broken machine parts.

Upon the explosion, the effects of the Turn-Everyone-Into-a-Blathering-Idiot-inator immediately wore off, and Roger was the first one to feel this, as he immediately stopped spitting out jibberish, and started making sense again. "Where was I? Oh yes..." Only to realize that everybody that once surrounded him had left, leaving him very confused. "Uh, hello? Where did everybody go? Wasn't I supposed to give a speech or something today?"

The same went for Baljeet, who, at the time of the explosion, was running around in circles, screaming pure jibberish as well, with Buford chasing him. Buford was growing frustrated, while the other kids were having little success with the helmet. Luckily, that all became moot, as the effects of the Idiot-inator wore off, causing Baljeet to collapse onto the ground. Everyone stopped what they were doing to see if he was OK.

"Baljeet, are you alright?" Phineas shook the boy lightly. "Say something."

Baljeet slowly opened his eyes, and, just as quickly, slapped Phineas's hands away. "Phineas, you know I do not like to have physical contact with you after you have been around machinery."

"Sorry, Baljeet. We were just busy fixing our helmet so we could - Hey! You're talking smart again. You're back!"

"Back? What do you mean?" He asked, sitting up. "Where did I go?"

"We'll explain later."

"In the meantime, you should probably be getting ready for your big game show tonight." Buford reminded him. Baljeet gasped.

"That is right. I have to get prepared! Goodbye, my friends!" He called as he stood up and hustled out of the yard towards his house, to prepare himself for perhaps the most exciting evening he would ever have...well, that is, until he gets a girlfriend. The friends all waved goodbye.

"What do you think happened for him to sudden turn smart again?" Isabella inquired, leaving them all stumped.

"I don't know."

"Let's just all be thrilled that it's over and never talk about it again." Ferb insisted, to which everybody agreed. At that moment, Perry showed up right next to Phineas, giving his trademark "mindless-animal" growl.

"There you are, Perry. Boy, you wouldn't believe the day we had." Oh, yes he would.

**End of Episode 57a!**

**Again, I apologize greatly for the long delay. If anyone is still following this story, reviews are greatly appreciated. I promise I will try harder to update faster, but don't expect anything this week. Midterms. Yeesh, what a hassle. But I promise to try and update faster. Check my profile page to see what I plan to write next.**


	71. 57b: Hotel For Dogs

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 57b: ********************Hotel For Dogs**

**Episode Summary****************: ********Inspired by the 2009 film of the same name. After discovering that every pet on their block has come down with illness, Phineas and Ferb decide to build a backyard animal shelter to care for all the sick animals in Danville. Meanwhile, it's discovered that the cause of all of their illnesses is none other than Dr. Doofenshmirtz's latest -inator.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The clouds were rolling in above the skies of the Tri-State Area. Phineas and Ferb were determined to get their project finished before it started to rain. They were getting their supplies ready for the day, when all of a sudden, there was a knock on the front door. They opened and found Isabella standing there, holding her dog, Pinky, whom appeared to look quite ill, shaking more profusely than usual.

"Hi, Isabella." Phineas cheerfully said, anxious to give her a hug. "Hi, Pi - ooh, he doesn't look so good." Phineas tried to pet the shivering dog, only to have him bark at him loudly, then turn his head.

"He's been like this since last night. He can't eat, he can't sleep..."

"Have you guys taken him to a vet?"

"Actually, that's why I came over here. I was wondering if you and Ferb would take a look at him."

"Us? But...But why?" He asked, with an evident look of confusion on his face.

"Why?" She blinked. "Because you two can do anything. You guys have a better chance of finding what's wrong with him than any doctor could ever."

"Isabella, as flattered as I am that you have so much faith in us," Phineas began, blushing. "I'm not really sure we're the right choice to help take care of your dog. I mean, Ferb and I are extremely gifted and skilled, but we're not miracle workers." Little did Phineas know was that Ferb had already left and had gotten to work on a possible cure for whatever sickness Pinky had. He returned seconds later.

"Drink this." Ferb said quickly, handing Isabella the purple potion. She and Phineas exchanged looks with Ferb before she conceded and forced Pinky to drink the potion Ferb whipped up. The dog winced several times, but after seconds passed, the dog lifted his head, opened his eyes, smiled, and started wagging his tail excitedly.

"Hey, he looks so much better!" Isabella responded, slowly putting the dog down. Her confidence soared up as the dog started running around her legs. She giggled. "I haven't seen him this active in days."

"Ferb, whatever you put in that potion worked."

"Hey, do you think Ferb could make more of those?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I've been talking with some of the other Fireside Girls, and they say that their pets are feeling sick as well."

"Wow, that's strange. I didn't know the Fireside Girls had pets." Isabella responded with a stern, unamused look on her face. "What?"

"So can you guys make more of those elixirs?"

"I'm sure we can whip some more up." Phineas turned to Ferb. "Let's get cracking. Wait, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry, meanwhile, was in his lair, receiving his mission. Unfortunately, he had to do it while suffering from the same apparent illness that Pinky was suffering form.

"Good morning, Agent P. I'm sorry you're a little under the weather, but we've got an urgent case." Monogram informed him. "It appears that this sudden illness that has many of our agents under the weather has been caused by none other than Dr. Doofenshmirtz. I suspect that he's whipped up some sort of -inator to cause all of this trouble. We need you to find out what he's up to and pronto. A) Because it's far too dangerous to simply let this slip by, and B) er...well, y-you're actually the only agent to have showed up for work today."

Perry's eyes sprung open. "Yeah. I-I mean, every agent's got the same bizarre illness you have, but they all blew us off. I mean, really! _I'm_ here! _Carl's_ here! _You're_ here! Can you believe the nerves of the others? Honestly!" Meanwhile, Perry had left during Monogram's rant.

He traveled, by hover car, to Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, hacking and wheezing the entire way there. When he arrived, he didn't even bother to remain aware of any potential traps Doofenshmirtz had set for him. He was instantly captured and placed on a model hospital bed, restrained against his will.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. So nice to see you." The evil genius snickered as he came out of the shadows of the room. He immediately noticed that Perry was not feeling like himself. "Oh, I see you have yourself a little cold, huh?" He chuckled. "Well, I'm afraid that's my fault. You see, the other day, while I was walking down the street when I passed by this couple who were walking their rottweiler. You know, i-it never occurred to me that rottweilers could actually be vicious and life-threatening. I guess the fact that I was carrying some freshly cooked bacon in my pocket didn't help me either."

"But after that experience, I swore that I would get my revenge on all household pets in the Tri-State Area. So, after several days of fiddling around with my tools at hand - and r-really with no idea of what I was doing - I managed to develop a batch of bacteria that can make all house pets permanently ill! And it seems to be working because you're far too ill to stop me."

* * *

Down in Danville, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella did a quick observation of the entire neighborhood and discovered that it wasn't just their friends whose pets were ill. Everyone on the entire block had the same problem. Everyone had pets that were ill, and nobody could figure out why.

"Well, sorry about your cat, sir. Don't worry. We'll get to the bottom of this." Was the phrase Phineas had to keep repeating to pet owners all over. "Wow, I guess Pinky wasn't the only pet to get sick."

"Maybe there's a virus going around." Isabella suggested.

"But how did it spread to so many animals so quickly?"

"I don't know. But maybe there's a way we can help them."

"You mean with that potion Ferb and I developed to help Pinky feel better?"

"Uh huh."

"I don't know, Isabella. We would have to develop a whole bunch of batches of that stuff. Do you know how much work that's gonna take?"

"Since when have you ever complained about having to do a lot of work?"

"True. But all I'm saying is that it's going to take a while to develop enough antidote to cure all of the sick pets, and who knows what exactly they have, or how much worse it could get."

"Well, we do have a tiny bit of that elixir remaining." Ferb pointed out. "Perhaps we should develop a way to deliver the tiny amount of medicine remaining to the sick animals while we create some more."

"How would we do that? They're everywhere." Isabella dejectedly said.

"Then we'll just have to bring them all to one place." Phineas, optimistically, smiled, as a light bulb went off in his head. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

The boys and Isabella returned to the backyard, where Phineas explained his plan. "We're going to build our very own animal hospital. We can keep the sick pets safe in each little room and pump our little medicine to them to keep them stable while we develop more medicine."

"That sounds like a great idea. But wait, what are you guys gonna do? Just stick them into tiny rooms and expect them not to whine and complain?"

"Don't worry, Isabella. I've got it all figured out. Just trust us. We know what we're doing."

So Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella all got to work following the blueprints that the two brothers had devised. It was a breakthrough design that called for automated robotic workers that would tend to each and every need of every pet admitted into the hospital. The design allowed the hospital to take on the appearance of a tiny box on the outside, while on the inside, there was a limitless amount of room for pets to be pampered and cared for.

"Wow, Phineas! This is amazing." Isabella remarked, astonished, once again, by her boyfriend's brilliance. "You guys never surprise me."

"Now all we have to do is spread the word all around Danville for people to bring their sick pets to our hospital. We'll have everybody cured in no time."

* * *

"Oh, and here's the kicker, Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz continued explaining. "My illness cannot be cured be mere modern medicine. See, I designed my bacteria to be immune to modern-day vaccination. In fact, the technology it would take to counter these bacteria is, like, 20 years away. At least, I think. I don't kn-you know what? I was fiddling around and I also managed to make this vile." He held up a vile of purple substance. "I have no idea what it is, but knowing me, it's probably the cure to this illness."

"So," He walked over to one of his cabinets, placed the vile inside, and locked it up. "I'm keeping it in here where it's safe from the hands of you, Perry the Platypus. So don't even try anything funny." Perry let out another cough. "And by the looks of things, it doesn't look like you're in any condition to do anything funny."

Perry struggled to get out of the trap Doofenshmirtz set, but suffering from the illness he apparently caught from Doofenshmirtz made him significantly weaker than normal. Despite this, Perry was determined to break free and acquire that potion.

"Anywho, back to my evil scheme. I've been using this little baby I like to call..." He introduced his newest -inator. "The sick-inator - to spread my illness throughout the Tri-State Area!" He picked up a separate vile of red substance. "All I have to do is place this vile inside this chamber -" He opened up a small chamber on the -inator and placed the vile inside. "press this button," He pressed a red button. "And voila!" Out of the end of the -inator came a red, misty cloud that spread throughout the Tri-State Area. "See that, Perry the Platypus? The more I unleash onto the Tri-State Area, the less likely that the animals can be cured. My plan is fool-proof."

Just as Doofenshmirtz was finishing up his banter, his daughter, Vanessa, knocked on the front door several times before letting herself in. "Dad, are you ready?"

"Ready? Ready for what?"

"You promised me that you would take me to see that new movie "Shallow Graves."

"Is that the new chick flick with the Olsen Twins?"

"I don't know. They all look the same to me."

"Fair enough." He turned to Perry. "Well, Perry the Platypus. We're off to the movies. Don't go anywhere." He started laughing. "As if you could go anywhere anyway."

"Hey Dad, mind if I grab a beverage first?"

"Oh, sure. Just use one of the plastic cups in the cabinet."

Vanessa walked over towards the cabinet, specifically to the one that was locked up by Doofenshmirtz. She pulled one of her hairs out of her head, and used that to tamper with the lock, opening it, and the cabinet, and pulling out the liquid substance Doofenshmirtz stored away. "Eww, what is this stuff?"

Doofenshmirtz turned to face her. "Oh, that's just my...Vanessa, no! Don't touch that!" He rushed over to her. "That's not lemonade! That's-"

Before Doofenshmirtz was able to finish his sentence, he noticed that Perry had successfully broken out of his trap and was on his way towards Vanessa, where he successfully kicked the bottle out of Vanessa's hands.

"You come back here, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz started chasing Perry all over the lair as the platypus held onto the vile of medicine as tightly as he could, hoping to avoid the evil genius' wrath.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, business for Phineas and Ferb's pet hotel was taking off. Families everywhere were bringing in their pets, whom were all seemingly ill with the same virus. Still, nobody else was suspicious as to the real cause for the illness. Nevertheless, Phineas & Ferb, with the help of the Fireside Girls, tended to all of the sick animals as best as they could.

Phineas tended to the many guests arriving, finding an open space for their pet, while the Fireside Girls & Ferb all worked on creating more of the batch of medicine Ferb had created earlier. It proved to be quite a bit of work for the group, especially considering that all of the animals' conditions only continued to worsen. Everything was working against them at this point. Nobody knew exactly what was going on, which meant nobody knew how to help.

Even Candace, who didn't even have a pet of her own, couldn't explain what was going on? "Phineas! Ferb!" She called, only to find them in the backyard. "Phineas and Ferb, what is all this?"

"Candace, you're just in time." Phineas responded, in his usual upbeat voice. "We could use some help here."

"What are you two doing out here? And what's with the animals?"

"We opened up our very own pet hospital."

"So you've heard about this bizarre outbreak too, huh?"

"Yeah. Nobody seems to know what's causing all of the pets to suddenly fall ill."

"Well if you don't know, then how do you expect to help anybody?"

"I don't know, but we gotta do something. I mean, have you heard? Most of the other animal shelters in Danville have boarded their doors shut. Nobody knows why."

Many believed that this was done because the owners of the animal hospitals did not wish to deal with this epidemic, when in reality, the doors were boarded up because they had already reached their maximum holding capacity for sick animals. In fact, some places even went beyond their capacity, but eventually had to board up their doors when they realized that they had taken far too many for their place to handle.

"Phineas, I know how much you want to help these animals, but more could you and Ferb do that the animal hospitals can't?"

"Provide a comfortable and temporary home?" Ferb suggested, in a bit of "know-it-all" fashion. Candace wasn't amused.

"Very funny. I'm serious, what on Earth could you guys do?"

"I don't know. But at least we're trying Come on, Candace. Just help us out for a little while. You won't even have to do much. Just help out with the check-ins and stuff. Please?"

Candace took a moment to think about it. She didn't see what exactly they were actually doing to help, because to her, the animals looked to be in even worse shape than before. But, she also understood that helping others was important to Phineas. In fact, it was one of them most important parts of his life. So, eventually, she relented. "OK, I'll help."

"Thanks, sis." He responded by giving her sister a hug, one that took her by surprise. "Come on! We're not going to help these poor, defenseless critters by just standing here, right?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry's battle was now changing tides, and things were starting to go Perry's way. After retrieving the "vaccine" from Doofenshmirtz, he used all of his reserve strength to stay out of the grasp of Doofenshmirtz. The entire time, Perry had the ability to drink some of the vaccine and make himself better. Instead, his condition continued to deteriorate right to the point where he could no longer run.

Because of this, Doofenshmirtz was able to reclaim the vaccine from Perry, and re-strap him to his trap. "So you thought you could just break out of there and stop me, huh? Well guess what, Perry the Platypus - you can't! My virus has rendered you too weak to even do your job." He took his vaccine back to his pantry and used an even better lock to lock the door. "It won't be long now before my virus does the same to all the other pets in the Tri-State Area!"

Doofenshmirtz was ready to celebrate his victory with an evil laugh. But, he was interrupted by his daughter, who was now getting impatient. "Dad!" She shouted, getting his attention. "Come on, we are going to be late for the movie!"

In his haste, he had completely forgotten. "Movie?"

"Yeah. "Shallow Graves"? The one you _promised_ to take me to."

"Oh yes, that's right. We were just about to leave before Perry the Platypus got out of his trap." He looked back at Perry, who was now struggling more than even to escape. "Well, I suppose that things will be OK now. I mean I don't see him escaping twice in one day. Then again, maybe I should just stay and-"

"Dad...!"

"Alright, alright. I'll get Norm to watch him. Jeez." He clapped his hands twice, and was greeted by his robot assistant.

"You called, sir?"

"I need you to watch Perry the Platypus for me while I go to a movie with Vanessa."

"Ooh, that sounds like fun. What movie are you going to see?"

"'Shallow Graves'." Vanessa responded.

"The one with the Olsen Twins?"

"I guess."

"Can I come?"

"You? Well, I would let you tag along, but then, who would watch Perry the Platypus? Doofenshmirtz asked.

"I think he can take care of himself."

"What do you mean by that, Norm?"

"He got out of that hospital bed pretty good."

"He did what?" Doofenshmirtz turned his head quickly to his set trap, only to find that Perry had indeed, once again, escaped. "How did he do that?" He then turned back to Norm. "You see? T-This is exactly why I did not want you to come with us! I knew this would happen."

"But sir, it would've happened anyway whether I went with you or not."

"Oh really? And why is that?"

"Because your traps are poorly constructed and your perpetual ignorance is your own doing."

"Getting fresh with me now, are we? I am so going to remove your personality chip when this is over with."

For Doofenshmirtz, that time was probably going to be sooner than later. With Perry working on pure adrenaline, he rushed towards Doof's -inator and forcibly switched viles, loading up the vaccine while removing the virus. He then activated the -inator and set it to fire. Doofenshmirtz rushed over to grab Perry, but he leaped out of the way before he could get a hold of him. This left Doofenshmirtz in a pickle. Once the chamber was closed and the -inator was activated, it could not be reopened until either the -inator fired or the sequence was cancelled altogether. Unfortunately, he couldn't do that in time, and as a result, it fired, and caused the antidote to spread all across the Tri-State Area. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

"Dad! Are you coming or not?" Vanessa shouted again.

The evil genius sighed. "Sure. Why not?"

* * *

At that moment, the kids all began administering their home-made medicine. Within seconds, the mist from the antidote Doofenshmirtz had began spreading across the neighborhood. But, because his medicine was a carbon copy of Phineas and Ferb's medicine, the two boys were led to believe that their own medicine was doing the trick when they noticed all of the pets beginning to perk up.

"Hey I think it's working!" Phineas shouted optimistically. "They're perking up!"

Pretty soon, the animals were energetic enough to jump out of their "rooms" and start running around the yard. "Wow, and they've all got a lot of energy now."

"What exactly did you put into that potion, Phineas?" Candace asked.

"You'd have to ask Ferb, but good luck with that. He's not talking. Besides, the important thing here is that the animals are finally feeling better. We better start making calls to their owners and let them in on the good news."

And that is exactly what they did. Within moments, cars parked in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house and pet owners seemingly from the four corners of the Earth started piling in to retrieve their pets, thrilled with the results. Though nobody was sure how it happened, nobody bothered to question it. Everybody simply enjoyed having their pets back to full health, as did Phineas & Ferb.

"Well that was fun." Phineas said triumphantly, as Perry, now back in mindless-pet mode, returned. He, unfortunately, was not hit with the mist of vaccine emanating from Doofenshmirtz's -inator, so he was still suffering from the illness. "Oh no. Perry!" Phineas shouted, picking him up and holding him in his arms. "You look awful! You must be sick, too." He turned to Ferb. "Ferb, do we have anymore of that medicine?"

Ferb nodded, then left to get some more. He brought back a small vile which had, literally, one sip of medicine left in it. "We used the rest on the others."

"It's better than nothing."

Ferb walked slowly to Perry, and opened his mouth, allowing him to sip the few drops of medicine that were left. To Phineas & Ferb's surprise, the little bit of medicine did wonders for Perry, who experienced the same kind of benefit the other animals experienced. He immediately perked up, and gave his usual chattering sound to the boys. "Perry! You're all better!" Phineas shouted happily, hugging the platypus as tightly as he could. He was relieved to see his pet feeling fine after having just experienced one of the worst scares of his life.

Meanwhile, off-scene, Isabella couldn't help but shed a tear at the sight of her boyfriend hugging one of the many bright joys in his life.

**End of Episode 57b!**

**Next Time: ****All Phineas wants to do is make Isabella, his friends, & his family happy, and he'll do whatever it takes, often to their chargin. But what happens when they decide to turn the tables on him and give him the royal treatment? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz, fed up with Roger constantly out-besting him at everything, invents a Switch-Lives-inator in order to switch lives with his brother.**

******A/N: Check my profile page. I'll periodically update it with a timetable of when I expect to update.**


	72. 58: The Good Life

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 58: The Good Life**

**Episode Summary****************: ********All Phineas wants to do is make Isabella, his friends, & his family happy, and he'll do whatever it takes, often to their chargin. But what happens when they decide to turn the tables on him and give him the royal treatment? Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz, fed up with Roger constantly out-besting him at everything, invents a Switch-Lives-inator in order to switch lives with his brother.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The skies were pitch black in Danville, not a cloud in the sky. The majority of the Tri-State Area were sound asleep in their beds, some with big plans for the following day. All, except for one young boy.

Phineas Flynn could not help himself. He tossed and turned in his bed for several hours, discomforted in every single way. He had everything a young boy could ever want and more: a kind, loving family, a brother whom helps him achieve his daily aspirations, a girlfriend who couldn't possibly hate him even if she tried, and all the imagination in the world. And yet, day after day, he is inflicted with self-guilt and doubt about the true love and admiration his friends, family, & Isabella have for him.

That's why once again, he found himself struggling to remain calm and collected within himself. Eventually, his anxiety forced him awake and alert. He let out a few anxious-filled breaths before looking at his alarm clock. It was only midnight. Still, Phineas decided to get out of bed. Quietly, he kissed the girl sleeping beside him and headed out the bedroom door. Not long after, Isabella awakened to find her boyfriend not in bed with her. Concerned, she got out and followed him out of the room.

Downstairs, Phineas, holding a bucket of water and a mop, started to mop the floor. A task usually done by his mom during the day, Phineas took it upon himself to do it so she wouldn't have to. In fact, on occasion, he took it upon himself to get as many chores done around the house as possible during the night so his family wouldn't have to worry about them. Up to this point, he had kept this little stunt - a stunt that was ongoing for several years now - hidden from his family. Until now, that is.

After Phineas finished with the kitchen floor, he set off to clean the rest of the house and do other strenuous chores that required several hours of work and several surges of adrenaline. As he continued to clean up the house, Isabella couldn't help but look on. Ever since the start of the summer, she has felt guilty about hurting him like she did when she ran away. Despite her constant attempts to convince him that she isn't mad at him and that he doesn't have to do anything to prove his love for her, he persistently refuses to listen to her, driving himself insane over the little things he does with her.

But nobody has ever been truly able to figure out why Phineas acts like this...except Phineas.

"Come on, Phineas. Man up!" He kept telling himself as he cleaned the house. "You're the man of this house. This is your job! You're not supposed to complain. You're supposed to perform your responsibilities. You're supposed to be the one that provides for this family and keeps in stable. What would Dad say? What would Isabella say?" He told himself this every time he found himself stopping to take a break. Although Isabella didn't exactly understand what this meant, she could feel her heart breaking for him.

She couldn't help but watch over him for several hours as he drove himself even more insane, even into the wee hours of the morning. By then, she had decided that enough was enough. While he wasn't looking, she sneaked into the kitchen and started for the stove, only to look at the breakfast table and discover that Phineas had already decided to cook each and every member of the family, as well as Isabella, a hot breakfast. Now it was her turn to do the same.

Meanwhile, Phineas, completely exhausted, started to trudge upstairs back to his bed. As he entered his room, Linda & Lawrence exited theirs, well rested, and went downstairs, only to find that the entire house had been cleaned - again - during the night.

"Oh no." Exclaimed Linda, who looked at Lawrence with a look of distress on her face. "Lawrence, was this...?"

"It looks like it dear." Lawrence responded.

"Again?"

What Phineas didn't know was that Linda and Lawrence were catching on to his antics, and although they too did not understand why, they grew concerned as well. Isabella came into the living room and met up with them, carrying a large tray with a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes. All three shared the same extremely concerned expression on their faces. Then Isabella proceeded to walk up the stairs and enter Phineas's room, just as he was "waking up".

"Oh, good. You're up." She said cheerily to him; he was taken by surprised by this.

"Isabella...? W-What's going on? What is this?"

"It's your breakfast." She said cheerfully as she placed the tray on his lap. "Your mom made it just for you: chocolate chip pancakes."

"But in bed? I never have breakfast in bed." He responded with a yawn.

"So? Who says you can't ever have breakfast in bed?" He yawned again. "ooh, you sound tired. What's wrong? Didn't you sleep well?" She asked him, but she knew better.

"I guess not."

"Well, when you're done with your breakfast, you let me know. OK?" He nodded, and she kissed him, leaving him to enjoy his breakfast all by himself. He hesitated in taking the first bite of his breakfast, but once he did, he started to enjoy it.

"Wait, Isabella!" He called for her, and she quickly turned around to face him, hoping that he would ask for something that she would be willing to get for him. Instead, his question was "Where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was in his lair (seriously, when _isn't_ he doing this?) receiving his mission from Major Monogram.

"Good morning, Agent P. Our Intel tells us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is planning to create some sort of -inator to deal with his brother, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz. And by Intel, I mean this twitter post he just made a few minutes ago." Monogram showed Perry the twitter message on his screen. The message read "gonna, like, totally steal roger's life, yo. Gonna rock it!". "This is a troubling sign, Agent P. Troubling because I, for one, had no idea he was on twitter. Now, get out there, and put a stop to this!"

Perry saluted Monogram, then left.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at home, Phineas was just finishing up his breakfast when Isabella returned to the room. "Hey, Phineas." She said sweetly, trying to put on a calm face. "Finished?" He nodded. "Good." She walked over to him as he put his fork down. As he tried to get out of bed, Isabella stopped him, and before Phineas knew it, he found himself being picked up and carried like a little baby by Isabella.

"What are you doing, Isabella?" He asked curiously.

"Carrying you."

"Why? I have two legs that work."

"So? I thought you didn't sleep well last night."

"I didn't. So?"

"So, can't your girlfriend carry you around every once in a while? I wouldn't want you to hurt your precious little legs. Besides, anything to hold your cute little butt for a few minutes." She responded, blushing as she tugged lightly at his rear end, which caused him to blush as well. "I think your family is waiting downstairs. Let's go see them."

"OK." Phineas still had no idea that she, along with the rest of the family were aware of what Phineas did the previous night, and were now trying to repay him for the deeds. He grew even more suspicious when he saw that a seat on the couch in front of the TV was made extra fuzzy, with built-in cup holders, a complementary pillow & blanket, and even a built-in full-body massage. "What happened to the couch?"

"Do you like it?" Ferb asked, having done most of the building himself. "It has built-in functions that can give the sitter a full-body massage."

"Boy, that does sound great." Phineas agreed. "You built that for yourself?"

"No, don't be silly."

"W-What? You mean..."

"It's not for him, Phineas." Isabella interrupted, carrying him all the way to the seat, where she promptly sat him down gently and handed him the TV remote. "He made it for you."

"For me? But..."

"Let's get you settled in." She put the blanket over his body, rested his head on the pillow, and then Ferb proceeded to turn on the full-body massager. "You'll feel great in no time."

"But I feel fine as it is."

"You'll feel better after your massage."

As Phineas was starting to settle in, Linda came in holding a big glass of chocolate milk. "Here you go, sweetie, just in case you get thirsty."

"What's going on, guys? Why are you all of a sudden being so nice to me?"

"Phineas, what are you talking about? We always treat you this way."

"Yeah, we're always nice to you." Isabella agreed.

"But not _this_ nice. You've never given me breakfast in bed before and this extra-comfy couch seat's never been here before."

"Would you just relax, Phineas? And enjoy your comfy seat? Watch some TV. Take a nap. Drink your chocolate milk. In the meantime, we've got another surprise for you later on."

"What kind of surprise?"

Isabella scoffed. "We're not going to tell you. Then it wouldn't be a surprise. Now drink your chocolate milk and watch your TV."

"Actually, if it's OK with you, I'd rather just-" He tried to get up, but both Linda and Isabella pushed him gently back into the seat. "OK, I guess I'll watch some TV."

"Thank you." Isabella said with a sigh of relief, kissing him on the cheek and tussling his hair before exiting with Linda. Phineas was still never the wiser to their intentions as he sat there and drank his chocolate milk, watching the bloopers show that the TV was preset to. Phineas did begin to loosen up, yet he still wasn't sure whether he was going to burst into loud sobs or laughter.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Perry had arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. But, to his surprise, he wasn't immediately caught into a trap this time. Instead, he found his nemesis sitting in the middle of his lair, in a lounge chair, throwing darts aimlessly at the wall in front of him, hoping to hit the picture of his brother, Roger, posted up, and missing helplessly every time. Perry wasn't sure whether to laugh at him or console him.

Eventually, Doofenshmirtz helped him with that question. "Oh, there you are, Perry the Platypus. I didn't hear you come in. Sorry I don't have a trap set for you. In fact, I don't even have an -inator ready. I've just been sitting here pelting Roger's face with darts and...eh," He took a look at his progress with that. "Well, I was never a good shot anyway."

He stood up and walked over to Perry. "I suppose Monogram sent you over because of my recent post on Twitter, right? Well, let me explain. For one...I finally figured out how to use Twitter! Now I can talk to Vanessa and Charlene and...an - you know what, that's about it. I really need to expand my circle of friends. Anywho, secondly, I posted that mean tweet about Roger because I am so sick and tired of that guy having a better life than me."

"You must know what I mean, right? He's the mayor of Danville, he's devilishly good-looking, well-spoken, polite, and of course the favorite of my parents! Ooh, how they hold my eternal scorn! And what of me? I am an Evil 101 reject, a divorced evil genius who spends his days fighting a Platypus who works for a secret undercover agency..." He stopped for a moment to see Perry's somewhat offended expression. "No offense, of course. Look, the point is that Roger's life is clearly better than mine, and nothing I've done has ever been able to erase that fact. I mean, it's not like I can just concoct a switch-lives-inator that will magically allow me to walk a mile in his shoes or..."

And then, the revelation hit him. "Wait a minute. That's it! I'll create an -inator that will allow me to switch lives with Roger!" He looked down at his nemesis. "Perry the Platypus, I know what I'm going to do today." Perry then stared back with a shrewd look on his face. "What? What did I say?"

So Doofenshmirtz began vigorously working on a new -inator right there on the spot. He didn't even bother to encase Perry in one of his classic traps, meaning that Perry could've either stopped him in his tracks, leave and return when the -inator was finished, or stay and do nothing, and for some reason, Perry decided to stay and watch Doofenshmirtz build another incredibly bizarre device that would ultimately fail.

Doofenshmirtz needed no fewer than 5 minutes to finish his device. "Finished! Behold, Perry the Platypus! I give you...the Switch-Lives-inator!" He held out a tiny little platform in his hands. "All I need to do is stand on this little platform, and within seconds, this device will rip apart the very fabric of the time space continuum, altering reality for Roger and I and allowing us to live out each other's lives. Now, for once, I will be the one with all of the respect, and my brother will have to endure all of my pain and suffering! Come, Perry the Platypus. Join me as I test it out."

Perry stepped onto the platform with Doofenshmirtz. The device was turned on, and soon after followed a white, transparent orb that surrounded them and took them a few inches off of the ground before shrinking them into thin air, and, as silently as a ninja, crippling the time-space continuum and switching Heinz Doofenshmirtz's life with Roger's.

When all settled down, Perry found himself back in his lair, back in his little chair, waiting for Monogram up on the big screen. "Good morning, Agent P." He said to Perry. "Doofenshmirtz is up to something again. He's bought up the entire Tri-State Area's supply of tin foil." A picture of Doofenshmirtz appeared on the screen. But this wasn't Perry's usual nemesis Doofenshmirtz. No, the Doofenshmirtz up on the screen was that of Roger Doofenshmirtz, a.k.a., Heinz's brother. "I can't figure out why, so I'm sending you out to do that. Good luck, Agent P."

Perry hesitantly saluted his boss. For a moment, he seemed rather confused, but then realized that he had just been affected by his actual nemesis' Switch-Lives-inator, and was now about to face Roger Doofenshmirtz instead of Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Still rattled, Perry left and headed for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas seemed to be enjoying his "gifts". He drank his entire glass of chocolate milk, watched about a half hour of bloopers shows, and finally, the relaxing, soothing effects of the massage-chair he was sitting in caused him to fall asleep. Isabella soon entered the room to find Phineas out cold. She laughed quietly, walking over to him and kissing him gently on his lips. He awakened restlessly to the sight of Isabella smiling in front of him.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." She giggled.

"Huh, I guess I fell asleep. Boy, this massager surely does wonders."

"Told ya."

"But I still don't understand why you went to all of that trouble for me. I mean, it's not like I did anything to really deserve this, right?"

_Oh, Phineas, if only you could understand. _"But what's wrong with someone doing something nice for you just because they love you? Anyway, you might wanna come outside to the backyard. Our surprise is ready for you."

"What do you mean by "surprise"?"

"We'll show you." Without hesitation, she picked him up and carried him over her shoulders out the front door, where she made her way to the gate that lead to the backyard. She opened the backyard gate to reveal that an entire playground had been built in the backyard, complete with a swing set, large swirly slide, treehouse, trampoline, see-saw, monkey bars, everything a little boy would want in a playground.

Phineas's jaw almost hit the ground. "It's...It's a playground. A custom-made, built-from-the-ground-up playground." He said in awe. "Did you build this yourself?"

"Nope. Ferb and I did it together."

"Just the two of you? Wow, I'm impressed. But why did you bring me out here? It's obvious you don't need any help here."

"I didn't bring you out here because we need help. I brought you out here so you can play."

"You mean in the playground?"

"Exactly. Go ahead." She put him down gently on the ground and pushed him lightly towards the playground. "I'd start with the monkey bars. We need to make sure they're nice and sturdy."

He took exactly one step towards the playground before turning his head back towards Isabella. "D-Do I have to?"

"Yes. Yes you do. Come on. You'll have lots of fun."

"But I saw Mom doing the dishes inside, and it looked like she could use some help. Maybe I should just ask her if she needs help." He quickly bolted for the door, only to have Isabella stop him by blocking off his path. Then, she took his arm and dragged him through the back door into the kitchen.

"Mrs. Flynn Fletcher?" She asked the woman innocently. Linda turned to face her, and the frown on Phineas's face instantly caught her eye. "Phineas wants to know if you need him to help you with the dishes."

Linda frowned and gave a concerned look towards Phineas. The boy was about to burst into tears, wanting so badly just to help her and feel like he was a part of the family. "No, Phineas. I'm OK in here. You go play on your playground."

"Are you sure? It looks like there are a lot of dishes there for you to wash. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. Let me do them so you can-" He attempted to walk into the kitchen but was pulled back by Isabella.

"Honey, I'm fine. Go play. Ferb will be out in a little while to join you."

Phineas turned around and started towards the playground, anxiously awaiting for Ferb's arrival. He looked back towards Isabella, who gently encouraged him to continue on towards the playground. Eventually, he relented and ran towards the big slide, climbing up the ladder and sitting down near the top. It took several moments for him to collect his composure and slide down. He cheered rather weakly as he came down. Isabella giggled and encouraged him to go again, but he asked her to join him on the next ride, which she reluctantly agreed to do. But even having his girlfriend accompany him on the slide could not help eliminate the darkness that shrouded Phineas's mind or fill the hole that opened his heart.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry made his way to Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. Of course, this wasn't _Heinz_ Doofenshmirtz's lair, no. Because of the Switch-Lives-inator, he was now about to face Roger Doofenshmirtz in battle, and that was exactly what Perry discovered when he broke into the building.

"Perry the Platypus?" Came the smooth, silky voice. Out of the shadows stepped Roger, who wore Heinz Doofenshmirtz's signature lab coat & black shirt. "Your arrival is quite unexpected. And by unexpected, I mean...COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!" Then, out of nowhere, Perry found himself trapped in a cage. "You're just in time for the unveiling of my newest invention." He walked over to his contraption, and took off the white sheet that was covering it. It was a giant laser that was pointed out of one of the open windows. "I call it the Disintegrate-atron!"

"You might notice that this baby is pointed towards City Hall. Well, that's because I'm going to use this device to destroy it! Then, once the citizens of the Tri-State Area fall into a state of panic over the stricken building, I will swoop in to restore it, thanks to..." Roger pulled out a tiny ray gun. "My Rebuilder-atron! After I'm done with them, everyone will be on their hands and knees thanking me, and they will ask me to become their supreme leader, thus running my dear brother _Heinz_ out of town!" He broke out into an evil laughter before forcing several coughs. Perry didn't seem amused.

But more importantly, he seemed confused, making it his mission at that moment to break out, stop Roger, and find his old nemesis. So, he reached into his fedora and took a nail filer, and began his escape mission. Roger was distracted by his own evil laughter, leaving Perry an opportunity to break out, which he did quickly, taking Roger by surprise. "Perry the Platypus, you've escaped!" He pointed out the obvious. Perry paid no mind and got to work. He grabbed a nearby screwdriver and shoved it into the shooting hole, causing it to jam. "No!" And after he was finished with that, he took out his glider and headed straight for City Hall, confusing to a bewildered Roger Doofenshmirtz. "Wait, where are you going?"

By Perry's logic, since he had just battled with Roger Doofenshmirtz, the brother of his nemesis, he expected to find his own nemesis, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, at City Hall, as the mayor of Danville. Once he arrived at City Hall, and managed to sneak his way into the mayor's office, he discovered that he was right.

"Perry the Platypus?" Shouted Doofenshmirtz before covering his mouth hoping that nobody around him heard him. "Isn't this great?" He asked him, clearly in a much better mood now than when he first saw Perry earlier in the day. "I'm living out my brother's life! I'm the mayor of Danville! Me! And Roger's probably working on some sort of device to try and take over as mayor."

Perry responded by taking out a note and handing it to Doofenshmirtz. The note consisted of everything Perry had learned of Roger's plan, including the name of the device, which apparently did not sit well with him. "_The Disintegrate-atron_? That'll never work. Now, if Roger were to have built, say, a _Disintegrate-inator_ - that sounds like something that could actually be threatening, am I right, Perry the Platypus?" He attempted to get a laugh out of Perry, but the platypus wasn't amused. "What? Anyway, that's not the point. The point is life is good right now, because _I'm_ the one in charge of Danville! I am the one calling all of the shots, and my brother, Roger, is the one who has suffered through getting disowned by his parents and being raised by oselots, having to wear girly hand-me-down dresses during middle school, fearing the public pool, being abandoned by a balloon-friend he made at a carnival..." Again, he looked down at Perry, who wasn't impressed by his rant. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?" Perry nodded. "Thought so."

Doofenshmirtz, though, was not bothered. He was in a great mood, and could not be happier. "Life is great, Perry the Platypus." He said with a relaxed sigh. "I call the shots, and Roger's probably calling his therapist. Or his mechanic. Either way, there's absolutely no way things could go wrong from here."

But little did Dr. Doofenshmirtz know, he would be dead wrong, because outside in the daylight, a creature lurked in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike. It growled quietly towards City Hall, slowly edging towards the building, patiently waiting for the time to make its move.

* * *

In Danville, Phineas was playing on his new playground, along with his stepbrother Ferb and his girlfriend Isabella. Although the playground consisted of everything a little boy or girl would want to have in a playground, and any other child Phineas's age would die for a playground as exciting as his, Phineas found it extremely difficult to fully enjoy it.

As hard as he tried, he couldn't convince himself to enjoy the fun that surrounded him. Both Isabella and Ferb took notice to Phineas's sour attitude, and forced themselves to think of other ways to cheer him up. "What's the matter, Phineas?" Isabella asked sweetly. "Aren't you enjoying the playground?"

Phineas hesitated in his answer. "Yeah, I'm having fun."

"Really? Because you don't look like you're having fun."

"Don't get me wrong, guys. This stuff is great n' all. But I really feel like I should be in there helping Mom with the chores around the house."

"Don't worry about that. I'm sure your mom is fine."

"Besides, she has Father and Candace to help her." Ferb added.

"Wait, _Candace_ is helping her?" Phineas appeared to be quite surprised by this. "Why?"

"She offered her assistance and Mother obliged."

"I offered _my_ assistance to Mom earlier and she said no! What gives?"

"Calm down, sweetie. You're gonna hurt yourself again." Isabella grabbed his shoulders and tried to console him. "She just didn't want your help. That's all."

"But...But..." Phineas now appeared very perplexed. He felt compelled to help his mother with the housework, though none of them understood why. Phineas began stuttering as he tried to find the right words, and eventually, they stumbled out. "But I'm the man of the house!"

Isabella and Ferb exchanged looks at each other, and then back at Phineas. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm the man of this family! Daddy said so!" With that, he stood up and ran into the house, clearly frustrated. Isabella and Ferb followed shortly after, and found Phineas in the kitchen, trying to take over dish duty for Candace.

"Phineas, get off!" Candace shouted, trying to fend off the boy.

"But Candace, you could hurt yourself!"

"You're gonna get hurt if you don't settle down! What is your deal, anyway? Mom said you didn't have to do the dishes."

"But I'm the man of this house! The man of his house has to do everything to hold up the fortress." He argued again. His mentality was completely messed up at that point; he couldn't figure out his priorities, and by this point, Candace & Linda were forced to take Phineas into the couch and restrain him. Quickly, he settled down, but refused to look either of them in the eye.

"Now Phineas, what is all this talk about you being the "man of the house"?" Linda asked, trying to get her son to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me, young man. I know you're not telling me something."

"Yeah, Phineas. You're acting really, really weird today. Even weirder than your usual outbursts." Isabella remarked, scratching underneath his chin in an effort to get a smile.

"Uh..." Phineas was at a loss for words. He could not figure out how to explain himself.

"First off, I'd like to know where all of this "man of the house" business started from, because this is the first that I'm hearing of it."

Phineas shook his head, took a deep breath, and looked his mother in the eyes. "I remember a few years ago, when Dad left you. He came into my room one night, woke me up, and started talking to me. He told me that he was "going away" for a while, and that it was up to me to keep our home in ship-shape while he was gone, because he didn't think you would be in any condition to do it."

"Well, he was right about that. For a while after your dad left, I was so emotional. Angry, Depressed, Spiteful, I was pretty much everything."

"I remember that." Candace said. "Mom was a wreck after Dad left. She just didn't know how to take it. As much as she knew that splitting up was probably the best thing at the time, it still didn't lessen the pain for her. So Phineas and I had to really pitch in and help out around the house."

"But even after I got myself better, you still tried to help out around the house, Phineas."

"Yeah, but I did it in secret. Like, after you all went to bed."

"We know about that, Phineas." Isabella intervened, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He turned his head towards her. "I woke up in the middle of last night and saw you trying to tidy up the house. You were muttering to yourself about being the "man". I was worried you had gone off the deep end. Don't you ever, ever scare me like that again!"

"I'm sorry, guys. I wasn't trying to wake any of you up. That's why I waited until nighttime, so nobody would see me. I wanted to get everything tidied up so Mom and Dad wouldn't have anything to worry about. I don't really know why I do this. I guess maybe...maybe it's because I want to keep the whole family together, and I think that if I don't do it, things will start to go bad, like they did when my dad first left."

Linda kissed his forehead and gave him a tight hug, stroking his hair. "Honey, you don't have to worry about it." She took his shoulders and looked at him straight on. "Listen to me, young man. You are _not_ the man of this house, OK? You are a little boy, a young, sweet, loving little boy. You do not have to worry about keeping this place up and running. That's not what a boy your age should be worried about. What you should be worried about is what you're going to do to keep yourself from getting bored during summer vacation, and nobody is better at it than you and Ferb."_  
_

Phineas wiped a tear from his eye and looked at his stepbrother, his sister, and his girlfriend. He struggled to find the right words to say. As Lawrence came into the picture, Isabella & Ferb reached out to give Phineas a hug. "Aw, don't cry, Phineas." Isabella said, kissing him repeatedly. "We've got one more surprise for you."

"Y-You do?"

"Yep. We're all going out for lunch!"

"We are?"

"That's right, and we're going to go wherever you want and you can have whatever you want."

"But...But...I don't..."

"Phineas, we're not giving you a choice here. We're trying to help you feel better."

"But why should I be allowed to choose where and what be eat? What about Candace or Ferb? Why can't they pick?"

"Because today we're celebrating you, Phineas, and how much we love you." Linda interjected.

"What's the matter, son? Why does choosing a place to eat give you such fits?" Lawrence asked his distraught son.

"It's not that. It's just...why should I receive special treatment just because I'm upset? You know, the massage chair, breakfast in bed, the playground in the backyard. I don't deserve any of that any more than the rest of you guys."

"We only did all of this to help you feel better." Isabella responded, hugging him again. "You're always doing nice things for everyone you love and you never ask for anything in return. You never give us any reason to yell at you, and you stop at nothing to please everyone around you. We just thought that it was way past time for us to repay you. If anybody deserves all of this, it's you."

"But you're not going to do this for me everyday, are you?"

"We'll do it for as long as it takes." Isabella picked him up and coddled him in her arms, kissing him repeatedly and brushing his hair back.

"But you don't have to."

"We know we don't have to. We _want_ to, because we love you." She brought her vision back to his face and gently kissed him on the lips. Phineas felt tears fall from Isabella's eyes. "And don't worry about the money. You just eat as much as you want it. We'll cover it."

"Can I help with that?" He asked genuinely, at which point Isabella gently put him down and glared at him. He flinched slightly until her smile returned to her face.

"No. No you can't."

"Not even for the appetizers?"

"Phineas, don't worry. We've got it covered. You just get yourself ready and then we'll go out."

He hesitated, but then nodded. He stood up, smiled, and then ran upstairs to freshen himself up. It was the first time all day he had not been carried by anyone in his family, and he was loving it.

* * *

Back in city hall, Doofenshmirtz was enjoying himself sitting at the helm of Danville, as mayor. In fact, he was so happy he didn't even bother to entrap Perry in some crazy, well-flawed trap. While he was busy relaxing in his chair, trouble was brewing just outside the door, for just outside the door, an evil creature with a completely feral mind, capable of attacking anything at any given moment.

"This is great!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. "So what if I have lots of responsibilities as the mayor, and what if the very fragile state of our people lies in my hands. It's much better than being a lonely, hopeless loser who sits in his lair all day fighting a platypus...no offense. Nothing could possibly go wrong!"

Within seconds, he would be proven wrong. The beast that lurked outside kicked the door down and made a leap towards the desk. The beast revealed itself to be Ezekiel, Doofenshmirtz's old "guard dog". Doofenshmirtz had to think for a brief moment before he recognized the beast. "Ahh!" He shouted, suddenly remember. "Hey, it's my old guard dog. For a second there, I didn't recognize you. What brings you here?"

Ezekiel slowly inched towards the mayor's desk, growling louder with each step. Doofenshmirtz quickly became alarmed. "W-Wh-What are you doing? Don't you recognize me? It's me, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, evil genius. Or should I say now...Mayor Heinz Doofenshmirtz!" Upon hearing the word "mayor" uttered by Doofenshmirtz, Ezekiel snapped. He leaped and landed on the desk, hissing at Doofenshmirtz before proceeding to claw at his face. Doofenshmirtz proceeded to scream.

"AAHHHHHH! GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM OFF!" He screamed, as Perry valiantly jumped to the rescue to try and fend off the beast. Instead, Ezekiel turned on him and started attacking Perry. "Yes, good idea, Perry the Platypus! You distract him. I'll get a blunt object or something to hit him with!" He ran off to find something to use as a weapon, and eventually settled on a nearby lamp. "I got one!" He shouted, bringing it over to the fight scene. "I brought a lamp!" The fight stopped temporarily. "I mean, I suppose it's not really a blunt object of sorts, but..."

His thoughts were interrupted when Ezekiel leaped and started clawing at Doofenshmirtz again. He screamed again. "Why is he doing this?" He asked in desperation. "Doesn't he know I am his master?" It was at that moment that a light bulb went off inside of Doofenshmirtz's head, and a memory started to dance around in his head.

_(Cue Flashback)_

_The day before, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, after having his latest scheme foiled by Perry the Platypus, turned on his TV. The first program that popped up on the TV was a news report._

_"Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker. Our top story tonight: the latest approval ratings for Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz are in. We go live to Asian correspondent for the report. Trisha?"_

_The scene switched to Trisha Takanawa in front of City Hall. "Tom, I'm standing here with a random citizen of Danville to tell us his reaction to the new polls. Sir, are you a fan of Roger Doofenshmirtz as our mayor?"_

_"Why yes, yes I am. I mean, what's there not to like? He's handsome, he's funny, he's well-spoken, our crime rate is down...he's everything we could ever want in a mayor!"_

_"And there you have it, Tom. The word of another Class-A kiss-up."_

_"Hey!"_

_Out of frustration, Doofenshmirtz shut his TV off and threw the remote at the screen before slumping down into his chair. Hearing this from the kitchen, Ezekiel, his pet, rushed into the room but remained out of earshot to see what the problem was. "Ooh, how I hate him!" Doofenshmirtz shouted to nobody in particular. "Why must he be so perfect? It's not fair! I work hard all my life to get to where I am today and he doesn't even have to lift a finger and they give him the White House! Oh, how I hate the mayor of Danville so much!"_

_Ezekiel took a small step back, contemplated some thoughts for a brief moment, and then left the room._

_(End Flashback)_

"It occurs to me that he might have overheard me complaining about Roger Doofenshmirtz's success. But he never heard me outright say Roger's name. But then how could he possibly...oh. Now I remember. I used my Switch-Lives-inator. So now he thinks that _I'm_ the mayor of Danville, which, coincidentally, I am..." His thoughts were stopped again when Ezekiel started scratching his face, causing him to scream. He temporarily bought some time by grabbing him and throwing him to the wall.

Just as he thought he had bought himself some time, he overheard some overlapping screaming coming from outside. He walked over and opened the window to find thousands of people gathered outside his office, screaming and shaking their fists at him, plus plenty of people from the media showing microphones to him. His secretary, Melanie, came over.

"What is going on? Why do they all look so mad at me?" He asked.

"They're probably angry over that new law you enacted." She responded, handing him the bill he signed.

"Law?" He took the paper and read it over quickly, suddenly realizing the error he had made. "What? Real wages reduced by 15% effective immediately? Work hours increased by 2 hours? No more Casual Friday? This is ridiculous! I don't even know what any of that means!" But that did not stop the angry crowd from beginning to chant 'We hate Heinz!' over and over again.

"Then why did you sign it into law?"

"I don't know! I thought my job as mayor was to just sign papers and sit in my chair! Isn't that was Roger used to do?"

"Who is Roger?"

Doofenshmirtz blinked for a moment, and then made a break for the door. Perry followed behind him. "Perry the Platypus, I was wrong. Clearly, this isn't better than my old life! In my old life, there was no pressure from the media or the people of Danville, just from you. Roger has to put up with this on a daily basis. I don't know how he does it. Well, I want out! I have to get back to my lair so I can use my Switch-Lives-inator to return everything to normal."

* * *

Meanwhile, the entire Flynn-Fletcher klan, along with Isabella & her mother, were out at a fancy restaurant, enjoying their lunch. Phineas, in particular, seemed to be enjoying his lunc oz. rib eye steak cooked medium rare and dipped in barbecue sauce - more than anybody.

"You haven't stopped eating since your dish came. You must be enjoying that steak, huh?" Isabella joked, noting Phineas's restored appetite.

"I sure am." He said after swallowing his piece of meat. "This steak is delicious!"

As Phineas came down to the last few bites of his steak, their waiter came over holding another 9 oz. steak. "Would you care for another one, sir?" The waiter asked Phineas.

He started to reject it, but then he heard his stomach start growling loudly. Despite consuming a 9 oz. steak already, Phineas was still hungry. Yet, he hesitated.

"What's wrong?" Ferb asked.

"Yeah, you stll sound hungry." Isabella added.

"Yeah, I kinda am."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well, it...it kinda looks really expensive, and I've already had one. So..."

"Young man, what did we tell you?" Linda said firmly. "We didn't take you out to lunch just so you could worry about money. We told you to order whatever you wanted to eat and as much as you wanted. If you're still hungry, then you take that plate and eat it."

"Why would I eat the plate? Wouldn't that break my teeth?"

"You know what I mean, Phineas."

This little back-and-forth between Phineas and her mother set off some laughs from the others. "At least you're getting your sense of humor back." Isabella remarked.

"Well, as long as you guys are OK with it." Phineas hesitantly took the plate with the steak on it and began chowing it down.

"Feeling full now?" Lawrence asked after Phineas was about halfway finished with the second steak.

"I sure am." The boy responded. "You guys were right. That second steak was totally worth it."

"We told you so."

"So now what?"

"As soon as we're all done, we're gonna go back home, and _I_ have one more surprise for you." Isabella said, as she wiped her mouth with her napkin.

"Another surprise?"

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll really like this one."

"I sure hope I do. This day's really been great so far. I don't know how you could possibly top this. I love you guys."

"Aw, we love you too, Phineas."

* * *

Perry and Doofenshmirtz arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair just as Roger was finishing fixing up his destroyed -atron. Doofenshmirtz's Switch-Lives-inator was sitting plainly in sight in the middle of the room, and surprisingly, Roger had not noticed it. But all aspirations to sneak in and retrieve the -inator unnoticed were squashed. On the contrary, the slightest noise caused Roger to drop what he was doing and spot them sneaking in.

"Perry the Platypus!" He yelled. "And you brought the mayor of Danville with you?"

"I want my old life back! So don't even think about stopping us from getting to the Switch-Lives-inator that is conveniently in front of you!" Perry shook his head quietly.

"Is that was that is?" Roger asked, pointing out the -inator that was in front of him. "I thought this was an old, retro door mat or something."

"Hey, is that an insult? 'Cause if it is, it's a really good one."

"In any case, you will not get your grubby, little mantis-like hands on my inventions!"

"Mantis-like? Oh, that tears it! Perry the Platypus, let's get him!" Doofenshmirtz and Perry both charged at Roger, and when the brief quarrel ended, Doofenshmirtz found himself face-down on the ground, looking rather helpless, leaving Perry to defend himself and his temporary partner. The Switch-Lives-inator was right in front of him, and in a desperate act, he dove for it, at the exact same time that Roger dove for it. Both of them dove for it, and ended up in a tug-of-war for it.

"It's mine!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

"Yours? Afraid not, dear brother. It is _my_ device!"

"Oh, really? Well let me ask you this, Roger. Do you even know how it works?"

"Of course I do. I...er, uh...well, it doesn't really matter, because it's mine!"

"It can't be yours! You don't know how it works, and I do. Therefore, it is _my_ device! Now take your grubby hands off of it!" Doofenshmirtz pulled as hard as he could, finally ripping it out of Roger's hands. He placed it on the ground and stepped on it. Perry followed suit. "So long, Roger! I'm getting my old life back!"

Within seconds, the same white, transparent orb that crippled the time-space continuum and gave Doofenshmirtz the life of the mayor returned him to his old life of evil plotting and platypus-battling. When all settled down, Perry found himself back in his lair once again, and having assumed that his mission had already been completed, Perry took the tunnel in his lair back up to the surface to return home.

* * *

As he was returning home, so was the Flynn-Fletcher family, plus Isabella & Vivian, were arriving home as well. Vivian returned to her home across the street to allow Isabella to settle her affairs with Phineas. They all entered the house to find Perry sitting on the couch, back in his normal pet mode. Phineas' eyes immediately lit up.

"Perry!" He shouted, running over to the platypus and picking him up, hugging him on the spot. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"Phineas, he disappears all the time. Why do you suddenly pick today to be so excited to see him home?" Candace asked.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just really happy to see him. You know, with my outburst earlier, I was just looking forward to seeing my whole family again, and that includes Perry."

"Aw, isn't that sweet." Linda said.

"It sure is. This is a great surprise, Isabella."

"Um, Phineas? That's not the surprise."

"It's...not?" He seemed visibly confused.

"Nope. Your surprise is upstairs. Follow me." Isabella ran up the stairs towards Phineas and Ferb's room. Phineas followed suit, and the fact that he was the only one that did so was perplexing to him when he realized so, but that was only because everyone else in the family knew what Isabella had for him.

Isabella opened the bedroom door upstairs, where Phineas discovered that there was what appeared to be a mini-sized hot tub right by his bed for him. "Is that..."

"Go on. Try it." She urged him. Slowly, he made his way towards the hot tub, grabbing his bathing suit and suiting up as he did so. Isabella giggled as Phineas changed into his bathing suit. Once changed, he slowly lowered himself into the tub, and quickly, the war water hit his muscles and relaxed him. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. "You like it, don't you?"

"Certainly." He responded, opening his eyes to face Isabella. "The water's really helping me relax."

"Good." She rested her elbows on the edge of the hot tub and rested her chin on her hands. For a moment, all she did was stare into the eyes of the boy she loved dearly.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I just hope you don't mind me staring at you for a little while." She sighed lovingly. "You're so cute when you look clueless."

Phineas sighed, more depressingly. "Isabella, I'm so sorry about what happened."

"Stop apologizing."

"But I overreacted...again, and I made everybody worry for nothing."

She leaned in and kissed him. "Sweetheart, you are so selfless and loving that sometimes, you forget that take some of that affection back."

"I guess I just care too much. But sometimes, I guess I wonder if my family really cares about me."

"Are you kidding? Of course they do. Phineas, they adore you, and I worship the ground you walk on. Just one good look at your cute face could light up anybody's day. You give those around you reason to face the day head-on even in the darkest of hours. Don't you remember? _Carpe diem_."Phineas chuckled. "What makes you special is that you never cease to jump to somebody's aid. If one of your friends has a problem or they're just upset, you rush to their side, no questions asked. You're the most selfless boys I've ever met. Your family and I just thought that maybe you would appreciate being the one that was looked after instead of the other way around."

"Don't get me wrong, Isabella. It was really nice, and I appreciate the gestures you guys were offering. But, I didn't really feel all that comfortable being catered to by everybody. The only reason I did all those night chores was because..."

"Because you wanted to keep the family together. You didn't want somebody to walk out again like your biological dad did all those years ago."

"E-Exactly. Hey, I-I get it now. I was just trying to keep the family together!"

"And I assure you, Phineas, what happened with him all those years ago won't happen with anybody here. We're all in this together. You _and_ me. And just to make sure you don't forget that..." She reached into her pocket and pulled out what looked like a wedding ring. It was the same ring she had shown him after returning home from her week-long world tour. She gently grabbed his right hand and placed the ring on his ring finger.

"Isn't that the ring you bought while you were in New Zealand?"

"Yes. Yes it is. I said that I would want until I was old enough to propose to you, but I feel like I can't. I want you to have a constant reminder that I love you for better or for worse, so I want you to wear this ring every waking minute until we're old enough to get married. I want it to be a simple reminder of my ever-lasting love for you."

"Well, if it means that much to you..." He thought for a brief moment. He had to decided whether or not _he_ wanted to wear the ring. He knew Isabella wanted him to wear it, but did he? "OK, I'll wear it. But because _I_ want to, not because you want me to, Isabella."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that." She leaned him and gave him a long, warm kiss. "I'll be downstairs if you need anything else from me or your family. But for right now, you just enjoy your hot tub."

"OK, Isabella." He stood up and gave her one more kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, Phineas." With that, she left the room, and left Phineas alone to enjoy his gift. With a seemingly endless weight finally lifted off his shoulders, Phineas sunk into the water, closed his eyes, and smiled, with the images of every friend and family member he's ever had in his life safely in his mind, projecting a promising and fulfilling future.

**End of Episode 58!**

**Holy cow! I am SO sorry for not updating in forever! I have had such writer's block, and unfortunately, I'm still in quite a slump. I'm starting my first part-time job soon and I probably won't have time for frequent updates like I used to. But I'm still working at it and I'll keep you posted for updates if I can. Until then, keep reading, reviewing, and making good choices.**


	73. 59: The Dual Process Theorem

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 59: The Dual Process Theorem.**

**Episode Summary****************:******** Phineas and Ferb get a visit by one of the most highly esteemed scientists in the world, Dr. Sheldon Cooper (from "The Big Bang Theory"), who interviews them on all of their past accomplishments. But when Sheldon believes that their family & friends are "unworthy to bask in their intelligence", Phineas and Ferb must prove him wrong. Meanwhile, Baljeet's older cousin Raj comes to town, and Baljeet does not approve when he discovers that Raj has forsaken college to pursue a professional baseball career. Elsewhere, Doofenshmirtz enters a radio contest to win concert tickets for Vanessa.**

**A/N: The title is sort of a knock-off of how every episode title of "The Big Bang Theory" resembles a scientific principle.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen! Also, the Big Bang Theory theme song does not belong to me, and neither does the character Sheldon Cooper. They belong to the creators Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. Great job, guys!**

* * *

_Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,  
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...  
The Earth began to cool  
The autotrophs began to drool  
Neanderthals developed tools  
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)  
Math, science, history, unravelling the mystery  
It all started with the big bang! BANG!_

_Since the dawn of man is really not that long  
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.  
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.  
The bipeds stood up straight  
The dinosaurs all met their fate  
They tried to leap but they were late  
And they all died (they froze their asses off)_

_The oceans and Pangaea_  
_See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!_  
_Set in motion by the same big bang!_

_It all started with a big BANG!_

_It's expanding ever outward but one day_  
_It will pause, then start to go the other way_  
_Collapsing ever inward_  
_we won't be here, it wont be heard_  
_Our best and brightest figure that_  
_it'll make an even bigger bang!_

_Australopithecus would really have been sick of us_  
_Debating how we're here_  
_they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)_  
_Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy_  
_It all started with a big bang!_

_Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology_  
_It all started with a big bang!_  
_It all started with a big BANG!_

* * *

The day started out like any other: Phineas, Ferb, and friends were in the backyard. Phineas & Ferb had microscopic dispensers that shot out webs, similar to how Spiderman operates. Each of the friends had one attached to each of their wrists.

"OK, everybody. Are you ready to go web-slinging?" Phineas asked optimistically.

"I still do not understand what we are supposed to do." Baljeet asked rather cautiously. "What if these devices were to malfunction and we injured ourselves."

"Don't worry, Baljeet. That's not going to happen. See, we designed these to be completely safe. All you have to do is hold your wrists out like this..." He demonstrated, making the same hand gestures that Spiderman does when he shoots webs. "And spider webs will shoot out of the little dispensers and will stick to the nearest object, no matter how big or small. Then you can swing in any direction freely. And you can also shoot out another web at another object at any time."

"But what if I were to miss and fall to my death?"

"There's a fail-safe mechanism that will automatically shoot a web to the ground, allowing you to grab onto it and save yourself from hitting the ground. Now, with that out of the way, let's get swinging!"

Everyone shot out webs in different directions and went off on their way. Buford spent the majority of his time chasing Baljeet around the city, Isabella sent some of her time practicing acrobatic tricks in the air, while Phineas and Ferb decided to take on the role of "superhero", swinging around the city doing various heroic actions such as rescuing kitties out of trees, saving a man from a burning building, and stopping a criminal from stealing an elderly lady's purse.

At one point, Phineas's webs failed to attach to a solid object, causing him to start falling. But before he hit the ground, Isabella came swooping in and rescuing him, rewarding him with a kiss. Moments later when Isabella's web failed to attach, Phineas returned the favor.

All the friends eventually returned to the backyard, where they all started to share in the fun times that they had while swinging around the town. Meanwhile, inside the house, there was a knock at the front door. Actually, there were three sets of three knocks, each set followed by a "Hello?" spoken by the person on the other side. Linda, who was sitting on the couch watching TV, got up and answered the door. At the door stood a tall, scrawny man. He appeared to be nothing more than an average man.

"Hello. Can I help you?" Linda asked kindly.

"Hello, madam. I am looking for the two finest young inventors on this block. I believe they go by the names of "Phineas Flynn" and "Ferb Fletcher"." He said with an intellectual tone.

"Why yes, they live here. But who are you supposed to be?"

"I see you don't recognize me, and that's to be expected from someone with displayed intelligence such as yours." He responded, which rubbed Linda off slightly. "I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper, theoretical physicist at Caltech. I have an IQ of 187 and I am intellectually superior to Issac Newton."

"Good for you..." She hesitated. "...I think."

"You have no idea who that is, do you?"

"No."

"Of course you don't. Now, are Phineas and Ferb here or not?"

"Why yes, they are here. But why are _you_ here?"

"I am here to conduct an interview with them as part of my research at Caltech. I am here to interview them on their past inventions and accomplishments performed at the mere age of 10. Now, I assume that you are aware of their activities. However, I have done my research on this family and I will not say for certain."

Linda did not approve of the man's attitudinal behavior towards her, but relented. "Please, come in." She said, albeit with gritted teeth. "Have a seat on the couch." He hesitated as he moved towards the couch. But eventually, he did push himself to sit down. Linda took notice. "What's the matter?"

"Forgive me, but I am a tad uncomfortable."

"Why?"

"Because this is not _my_ seat."

"And what's the difference?"

Sheldon sighed and shook his head. "I don't know why I'm explaining this to a commoner, but...see, in the winter, my seat is close enough to the radiator so that I remain warm, but not close enough to cause perspiration. In the summer, my seat is in the direct path of a cross-breeze that is created by windows opposite of each other. It also faces the television at an angle that is not direct, so it does not discourage conversation, nor so far-wide as to distort the picture."

Linda blinked twice, amazed at how easily and fluidly he explained his desire not to sit. "I'm sorry. You lost me after the radiator thing."

"Pardon me, but I think I lost you when you answered the door."

Linda growled quietly to herself as she went into the kitchen and opened the back door to find her two sons & friends playing in the backyard. "Phineas! Ferb!" She called to get their attention. "There's someone here to see you."

"Well, that is my cue to leave." Baljeet said as he proceeded to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?" Phineas asked.

"I have seen this before on television. Every time there is a visitor, something life-changing always occurs."

"AHA!" Buford shouted. "So you _do_ watch TV."

"Sparingly. Do not mock me."

While Baljeet left, the others went inside to see this "visitor" that Phineas and Ferb had. Phineas and Ferb kept their optimism, while Isabella, Buford, & Irving (who sneaked into the group long after they returned from their web-slinging adventure) remained cautious. "Hi, Mom." Phineas responded to mother. "Who's your friend."

"I assure you, your mother and I are not friends. I don't believe we're even on the same reading level." Sheldon responded. "Greetings, young inventors." He took out a glove and put it on his right hand before proceeding to shake Phineas & Ferb's hands. "I am Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, theoretical physicist from Caltech. I have been studying you two for quite some time."

"Gee, thanks, Mr. Cooper-"

Sheldon cleared his throat rather loudly. "That's _Dr._ Cooper to you, mister."

"Sorry, M - _Dr._ Cooper."

"Very good. Now, let's get down to business. Please, take a seat." The kids all took a seat on the couch. When Phineas realized that Sheldon was not comfortable on the couch, he questioned why.

"Dr. Cooper, I notice that you don't seem comfortable on the couch. Is something wrong?"

"Why yes, yes there is. I'm afraid there is nary a seat in this residence that can fit my needs."

"Your needs?"

"Phineas, don't." Linda warned, already exasperated from her conversation with him. "Just don't."

"Now madam, do not wean his curiosity. I would be more than happy to explain it to him. You see, young man..."

"Here we go."

* * *

Meanwhile, Baljeet had made his way home, but when he opened the front door, he found himself surprised. There was a tall, Indian young man standing in his living room with Baljeet's mother.

"Baljeet!" The older man shouted in excitement as he ran to Baljeet and gave him a hug. (**A/N: As for the voice, picture the character Raj from "The Big Bang Theory"**)

"Raj! It is you!" Baljeet shouted back in excitement. "What are you doing here?"

"What? Can't a long-distance cousin come visit you every once in a while? Besides, I have big news."

"I am already aware that you have graduated high school. I am sorry I did not get you a graduation gift prior, but I was a little preoccupied with another incident...in another state." (**A/N: Guess the reference?**)

"That's alright. I didn't expect anything to get over to India anyway. But that is in the past. The greatest gift I could receive right now is your full admiration and support."

"Now that I can give. I cannot believe my older cousin is going to college! This is such a proud moment for the _ family." (**A/N: Baljeet doesn't have an official last name yet**)

"But that's just it, Baljeet. I am not going to college."

"I cannot wait to travel with you to visit the uni..." His face immediately fell upon hearing those words. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"I said I am not going to college."

"That is what I thought you said. Now, can you please stop with the jokes?"

"I am not joking, Baljeet. I'm not going."

"But why not?"

"Well, you see..." He walked over to the couch, where there lie a long box, one suitable for holding a shirt. "You know that I am a very athletic person, right?"

"That is correct."

"And that I love to play pretty much every sport?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've been contacted by various scouts and sports agents who have told me that I have the potential to be a star no matter which sport I play. But I finally made my decision, and Baljeet, you are looking at the newest..." He opened the box, and pulled out a Cleveland Indians baseball uniform. "Cleveland Indian!"

Baljeet was not sure how to react to hearing his cousin say those words. In fact, his mind was racing so quickly he ended up passing out on the ground. Raj and Baljeet's mother quickly raced to regain Baljeet's consciousness.

* * *

Meanwhile, amid all of the commotion, Perry managed to sneak away and get to his lair, where Monogram was waiting to give him his assignment. "Good morning, Agent P. Our intel has told us that the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz is planning to jam the radio waves with his own evil message...of evil. So, get out there, and do your thing."

Perry saluted and went on his way. Using a series of various gadgets and doohickeys, he quickly averted any unwanted attention and made his way towards Doofenshmirtz's lair.

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Inside the lair, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had with him a portable radio, a phone, a remote, and a super-sized cup of coffee. Perry busted through the window to confront him, only to find himself encased within a giant luggage.

"Perry the Platypus, how nice it is to see you. I bet you're wondering what I am up to. Furthermore, I bet Monobrow told you that I'm planning to take over the airwaves with some sort of evil message of evil, right?" He let out an evil chuckle. "Well, he's wrong. No, see, there's an on-air radio contest that is giving away free tickets to see one of those new Dark Age, or...or whatever their called, bands. I think it's called "The Screamers of Death" or something. Now I know that I'm not into that kind of stuff. But I know Vanessa is, so I'm going to try and win these tickets for her."

Perry raised an eyebrow.

"Well, see, I'm trying to win the tickets so hopefully, Vanessa will forgive me for what happened on her birthday. Maybe this flashback will help explain things..."

_(Cue Flashback)_

_It was Vanessa's 17th birthday. It was time to exchange gifts, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz was excited to give Vanessa his gift. He handed her a large box._

_"Happy birthday, Vanessa!" He said, handing her the gift._

_"Gee, thanks, Dad. You shouldn't have..." She sounded less than optimistic about receiving the gift._

_"You don't even know what it is, yet. Go on. Open it!" He urged. She did so, and inside was a tiny, handheld freeze ray._

_"A freeze ray?"_

_"A Freeze Ray-inator. For vanquishing your enemies...or at least people who just make you upset."_

_She wasn't exactly happy about receiving a freeze ray, because she felt she wouldn't have much use for it. But, she decided that she would keep it anyway, as a memento from her father. "Thanks, Dad."_

_"Well, go on. Try it out."_

_"Well, I guess. I mean, what do I have to lose?" She aimed it dead at the ceiling, and pulled the trigger. The next sound she heard came from the freeze ray itself._

_"**Self-destruct sequence activated. This -inator will self-destruct in**** five...four...**" Vanessa looked up angrily at her father as the countdown continued._

_"You've got to be kidding me." She said flatly._

_(End Flashback)_

Perry could only shake his head. "What? It was a decoy. See, I made two separate Freeze Ray-inators. One that works like it should, and the other with the self-destruct button programmed into the trigger. That way, if someone, a la you, Perry the Platypus, were to get their hands on it and try to use it, they would get blown up instead. Unfortunately, I gave her the decoy one, a-and I haven't exactly forgiven myself for that yet. And she hasn't let me forget about it yet, either. But, that is why I am here. I am going to win her those tickets and she can forgive me."

"Now, in order to win those tickets, I have to call in at _just_ the right time in order to be the winner. You know how radio contests always make up a random number and then they tell you have to be that numbered caller in order to win, an-and how you always call in but you never seem to be that numbered caller? Well, I have a way of making sure that _that_ ends!" He reached down behind the counter and pulled out what appeared to be a giant black box. "Behold! The Numbers-inator!"

"When the radio contest begins, I will plug this thing into the phone, and what this will do is it will keep track of the number of calls that are made to the radio station for that contest. All I have to do is wait until the number on the screen is one less than the desired number they want, and then I can..." He flipped the phone receiver over and revealed a tiny yellow button built into it. "press this button. By doing so, I will send out an electrical charge all throughout the telephone wiring system in the Tri-State Area, thus rendering every other phone unusable except for mine! But don't worry, not forever. Only long enough for me to swoop in and claim my prize!"

He went into another room and grabbed a lawn chair, placing it close to the phone, and sitting in it, waiting in triumphant measures for his moment of victory. "Only a few minutes to go. Yessir. Any minute now..." Even though only a few seconds passed, it quickly became too much for the impatient Dr. Doofenshmirtz to handle. "Oh, this is ridiculous!"

* * *

Back at Baljeet's house, after having water splashed on his face, Baljeet regained consciousness. Dazed and confused, he began to question his whereabouts.

"W-Where am I?" He asked, until he noticed his cousin, Raj, and his mother standing beside him. "Mother, Raj, what is going on?"

"You passed out." Her mother answered.

"Right after I told you I have forsaken college to pursue a professional baseball career after having been drafted by the Cleveland Indians-"

"AHHHHHH!" Baljeet screamed at the top of his lungs. "It _is_ true!"

"Baljeet, this is no way to behave in front of a guest!" His mother lashed out at her.

"Mother, do you _not_ see the underlying problem? My own cousin has forsaken the good nature of college and education in order to pursue a hopeless and futile goal. I cannot bear to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!" Raj quickly hushed Baljeet up. "What are you implying? Are you suggesting that I am not capable of becoming a successful professional ballplayer?" He was clearly upset with how Baljeet was handling the news. He arrived hoping that Baljeet would be in full support of his decision. But so far, that was not the case.

"That is not what I am saying at all. Although if you are suggesting that, then we are both on the same page."

"For your information, Baljeet, I threw two no-hitters and struck out 100 batters in my senior year back in India. The Indians pitching coach and various scouts have told me that I have the 'best split-fingered fastball' they had seen since Roger Clemens himself. That is why they wanted to sign me for $2.5 Million."

Baljeet, neither a fan of baseball nor very knowledgeable in the sport, scratched his head. "OK, now in response to your statement, I have two questions..."

"No! I am not going to tell you who Roger Clemens is. Or who a Split-Fingered Fastball is."

"Well, then I shall withhold my questions."

"Look, Baljeet, I was hoping that you would be just as excited for me as the rest of my family, and the rest of our country, for that matter. Everyone in Indian went crazy when I told them the news."

"Everyone in India?"

"Yes. We hear of Cubans who have defected from their countries to play baseball in America, and then there's the Japanese posting system."

"The what?"

"But rarely, if ever, do you hear about an Indian person being signed by a Major League Baseball team. This is a big deal, and I wanted you to be happy for me. But clearly, you have your head shoved so far into your textbooks you cannot possibly express such joy!"

"I find your refute quite insulting! For your information, I only read textbooks for 6 hours a day. I cut back from 7 hours a day at the request of my mother."

Raj shook his head, as did Baljeet's mother. "Look, my Indian high school team is playing an exhibition match today at the Danville Park before I head over to the apartment my family is renting so that I can sign the contract. If you change your mind and decide you want to support my decision, you can find me there." With that, Raj decided to take his leave out the front door. Baljeet still did not understand why he was so upset.

"Some people are just so moody, am I right, mother?" He said with a chuckle to his unamused mother. "What?"

"Baljeet, that was very rude of you." She said sternly.

"Come, mother. You cannot possibly stand there and tell me with a firm face that you were not thinking the same thing I was."

"No, Baljeet. I was not. Baljeet, an opportunity like the one Raj has is one that doesn't come by very often. I can only imagine what he must have been feeling when he heard the wonderful news. If things pan out the way we all hope, he could have a very successful career."

"Yes, and for all we know, gas prices will suddenly begin to decelerate until they are under one dollar again, just like in the old days."

"I don't understand why you're so ignorant over this."

"Ignorant? Why, I never!"

"You belittle your cousin simply because he did not share your desire in attending college. And may I remind you...YOU ARE HALF HIS AGE!"

"But mother, how does he ever expect to make something of his life if he does not attend college?"

"Baljeet, there have been many famous people who has either dropped out of or have forsaken college altogether and have still been successful."

"I dare you to name one!"

"It is a surprise to me that you did not catch onto this man earlier."

"What are you talking about?"

"He emulates everything you are about. Intellect, sophistication, poise..."

"Mother, do not play games with me. Who are you talking about?"

"Albert Einstein, of course." She said flatly, and was met with a loud gasp from Baljeet, who instantly did not believe his mother, as she expected.

"Mother! You know better than to tell a lie!"

"I am not lying, Baljeet. If you don't believe me, look it up. I'm sure one of your textbooks has that information, or better yet, look it up on the internet."

"Very well, then. Although you do seem very confident for someone who is clearly wrong, I shall accept your challenge." He picked up the nearest textbook he could find and started flipping through it. "You will see. There is no possible way that Albert Einstein could have..." He opened to a particular page in his textbook, and as soon as he read the context, his jaw hit the ground. "dropped out of prep school!" He gasped loudly again. "But it also says here that he attended the Federal Polytechnic in Zurich."

"But still, he _did_ drop out."

"That doesn't validate your point, mother."

"OK, Baljeet. Think about this." She sighed, clearly exasperated. "You clearly don't approve of your cousin pursuing a sports career, correct?"

"We have already established that, mother. Have you not been paying attention?"

"My point is...what if you were to, oh I don't know, win the Noble Prize."

"That would be a dream come true!"

"But then when you told Raj, he did not share your enthusiasm for winning the award."

"How could he not share my enthusiasm? It is the Nobel Prize!"

"You would feel a little upset, wouldn't you?"

"Well, yes. Yes I would."

"Maybe that's how Raj feels about you not supporting him in his decision to play baseball."

"I suppose you have a point. I never really considered it from his point of view."

"I'm not saying you have to be happy about his decision. I know how big you are on formal education and I imagine that this is not easy for you to accept. All I'm saying is that it would mean a great deal to him if he knew he had your support." With that statement, she left the room so Baljeet could be alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr. Cooper's interview with Phineas and Ferb continued. Phineas and Ferb both went on to explain the various inventions they had created over the years, ranging from the X-ray glasses to the speed shoes that allowed them to run faster than the speed of light, all the way to a time machine that allowed them to go to any time period they chose. Meanwhile, Isabella, Buford, and Irving sat nearby, listening intently to the interview. Dr. Cooper couldn't help but fascinate himself with every detail the boys gave him of their exciting adventures. That is, until Linda came back into the room.

"Hello, boys." She said cheerily, carrying a tray of beverages. "You know, you've been interviewed for over an hour now. I thought maybe you could use a break."

"Don't worry, Mom. We're fine." Phineas responded optimistically.

"Actually, boys, I could go for a break." Sheldon contradicted, turning to face Linda. "Do you happen to have any Mountain Dew?"

"I can check and see."

As Linda was about to leave the room, there were some footsteps being heard. Everyone looked into the direction of the footsteps and saw that it was Candace, who was apparently just waking up at that moment. She had the look of a person who had slept in: messy hair, half-closed eyes, messy clothes, the whole package.

"Mornin' Mom." She said groggily. "Morning boys. Mornng stranger I've never met..." She stopped dragging her feet as soon as her eyes came across Dr. Cooper. "And who's this?" Her tone had suddenly changed.

"You must be Candace Flynn." Sheldon exclaimed. "The self-proclaimed "woman-in-charge" of the house when parents are away, the one who consistently demeans these young gentlemen of their freedom and their good nature, the one who doesn't know what "fun" is. Greetings, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, theoretical physicist."

"Oh, so you're a rocket scientist?"

Sheldon quickly became angered. "No! I'm a theoretical physicist! What part of that don't you understand?"

"Sorry. Pardon me, I just woke up."

"From what? Hibernation?"

Now it was Candace's turn to growl to herself. Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb were quickly growing annoyed with how Dr. Cooper was treating their family. Candace walked over to Linda and they both huddled up.

"What is this guy's problem?" Candace asked Linda.

"I don't know. He's a little smug for my taste. And he's very demeaning. He's making me feel like I'm not very smart."

"What is he doing here again?"

"He's interviewing Phineas and Ferb on all of their big ideas. He says it's for research or something."

"I'm sure it is."

While they were talking, Dr. Cooper returned his attention to Phineas and Ferb. "While we have a brief moment, would you two be interested in playing a little game called "Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock"?"

"Um, Dr. Cooper, I don't mean to correct you, but I think the game is called "Rock-Paper-Scissors"." Phineas said hesitantly.

"That's the old version. See, studies have shown that in Rock-Paper-Scissors, players who are familiar with each other - as I assume you two as stepbrothers are - tie approximately 75 to 80 percent of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock was created by internet pioneer Sam Kass. It adds multiple new outcomes to the game."

"But how do we play?"

"I can teach you. It's very simple." He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and held his hands out to demonstrate the gestures for the game. As he began, he turned his attention back to Linda and Candace, who were now staring awkwardly at him, as were the friends. "You're more than welcome to join us, but I suggest you take notes." Linda and Candace both made angry faces in Dr. Cooper's direction, but simmered down before it got serious. He returned his attention to the boys. "Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock smashes lizard, lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors."

Phineas and Ferb couldn't help but stare in amazement at Dr. Cooper. "Wow, that was impressive."

"So do you wish to participate?"

"Sure!"

All three men held out their hands and recited the game chant. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" Then they held out their hands, and they all held out Spock. All three winced in frustration. "Looks like a draw." Phineas said. "That _is_ fun."

"Agreed." Dr. Cooper turned to Candace. "Did you hear that, little girl? **FUN.**"**  
**

Candace nearly went over the edge on that remark. "OK, what exactly are you implying, buster?"

"First of all, my name is not buster. You will address me as Dr. Cooper. Secondly, I am merely reiterating the point that you are the least "fun" member of this family."

"I'm _what_?"

"I've done my research on you. You don't share the excitement and enthusiasm of technological breakthroughs that your brothers possess. In fact, you dedicate any and all spare time you have to tattling on them to your mother over here. And the only reason she doesn't believe you is because she has the I.Q. equivalency of a wombat."

"WHAT?" Linda shouted angrily.

"It is obvious to me that you clearly lack the intelligence needed to comprehend the various breakthroughs your sons have achieved. In fact, according to my studies, once you finally did realize their adventures, you not only belittled them, you also punished them."

"Yes, but..."

"And yet here you stand, attempting to convince me that it was all a ruse, merely an act to trick any poor, unsuspecting bystanders into believe you merely had their best interests in mind."

"No, you don't understand..."

"I believe you have both wasted enough of my time already. Now if you both don't mind, I suggest you leave us be." He said sternly, and as much as Linda and Candace wanted to respond and kick him out, they decided that it wasn't the best time to do that. So they took their leave, leaving a startled Phineas, Ferb, & friends there with Dr. Cooper.

* * *

Back in Doofenshmirtz's lair, the time for the radio contest to begin was quickly approaching. Doofenshmirtz turned on his radio to listen in.

"_And that was Dance, Dance, Dance, by the Beach Boys.__" _Said the voice on the other line, whose voice resembled that of animated host Christian Potenza. "_It's the top of the hour, dudes and dudettes. You know what that means, right?_"

"Yes. Yes I do!" Doofenshmirtz said happily as he got into position to enact his scheme.

"_It's time for our Radio Contest! Today, we're giving out 2 front-row tickets to the "Screamers of Death" concert tonight, and backstage passes! You and one lucky friend will get to meet the band, get a live tour of their tour bus, and an autographed guitar signed by lead singer Logan Miller." (**A/N: Logan Miller voices Johnny, who was Vanessa's boyfriend presumably up until the episode "Minor Monogram"**)_

"Ooh, sweet!"

"_All you have to do is be caller number 65 in order to have a chance to claim the prize. So get your fingers and phones ready! The contest starts...now!"_

Doofenshmirtz turned on his device, and it began keeping track of how many calls were made to the radio station. Once the number hit 64, Doofenshmirtz reacted, hitting the button installed into his phone. Instantly, every phone in the Tri-State Area - including cellphones - stopped working, leaving Doofenshmirtz as the sole barer of a working phone. He slowly and confidently dialed the number to the radio station.

"_Congrats, dude! You're caller number 65!_"

"I am? I won? I WON!" Doofenshmirtz shouted with glee.

"_Not so fast..._" Potenza said on the other line with a snicker.

"What?"

"_You didn't win yet._"

"But I'm caller number 65. You said so."

"_Yes, and I also said that caller number 65 would have a ** chance** to win tickets and backstage passes. You still need to answer our trivia question in order to actually be eligible to collect your prize."_

Doofenshmirtz sighed in frustration, but deep down, he knew he was right. "OK, then. What's the question?"

"_OK, dude. This past April, the rock band known as "Guns n' Roses" was inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame. Your question is...who is the longest tenured member of Guns n' Roses? I'll give you a hint: he's still in the band."_

Doofenshmirtz had to think long and hard about the question. For one, he had no idea what "Guns n' Roses" was. Secondly, he did not like rock bands of any kind, but that's a backstory for a later date. Finally, his favorite song was something written in Drusselstenian language, and translated into English, it wasn't exactly clean...or good.

So Doofenshmirtz stood there, motionless, his brain activity at a complete standstill until the phone accidentally slipped out of his hands and fell to the ground. Potenza, on the other line, took it as a forfeit, and got the contest moving again.

"_Hello? Hello? Well, OK, then. It looks like we have a choker. That means the contest is still on. We'll be back at the quarter-hour with another contest and another chance to win those tickets and backstage passes. In the meantime, you can jam out to this old classic!"_

As music started to play on the radio, Doofenshmirtz shook himself off and sank to the floor. He could not believe that he had just failed, and miserably. Any random person on the street could answer that question. Heck, even Perry could. Speaking of Perry, he had escaped moments ago, but chose not to do anything, thinking Doofenshmirtz would only defeat himself.

At the door, there was a knock. It opened and Vanessa came in with her cellphone in hand. "Hey, Dad? I think my cellphone is broken? Do you think you can-" She stumbled onto the crestfallen evil scientist. "Dad?"

"I can't believe it..." He finally said after a long silence to himself. He didn't even realize that Vanessa had walked in. "I can't believe I humiliated myself on the radio and I have nothing to show for it! I disabled every phone in the Tri-State Area just so I could have the spotlight."

"Wait, that was _you_?" Vanessa questioned. "You're the one who disabled the phones?" He looked up at her and nodded. "Dad, I saw a five-car pile up on my way here! I tried to call 911, but there was no service-"

"Vanessa, will you forget about the car accidents for one minute? This is important! I humiliated myself trying to win you concert tickets!"

"Concert tickets? For me?" Vanessa appeared visibly flattered. "Why would you go through all that trouble to win me concert tickets?"

"I wanted to make up for that horrible incident on your birthday. You know, the one with the freeze ray-inator that blew up in your face."

"Oh yeah. I remember that. So you went through all this trouble just to make that up to me?"

"Of course. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. You're my daughter, evil or not. It's just too bad you can't go to that concert."

"I wouldn't say that." She reached into her pocket and pulled out two concert tickets.

"Vanessa, are those concert tickets?"

"Yep."

"Oh, this is wonderful!" He reached out and hugged his daughter. "Now we can go together!" He reached for a ticket, but Vanessa pulled back.

"Actually, Dad, Uncle Roger bought these tickets for me."

"Roger?" He shouted in disbelief; as he did so, Roger walked in.

"Vanessa, honey, are you finished? We're going to be late for-" He caught eye of his brother. "Heinz! It's so nice to see you!"

"Oh, hello, Roger." Doofenshmirtz said bitterly. "I'm sorry to inform you, but _I'm_ taking Vanessa to the concert."

"Really? But I'm the one that bought the tickets for her and she invited me." He responded.

"Yeah, Dad. That was before I knew you were trying to win them for me." Vanessa chipped in.

"I see. Well then, I suppose there's only one fair way to settle this."

"I agree 100%." Vanessa took a few steps back as both of them opened their eyes and stared at each other for a long moment. Finally, they both took out their right hands, and started waving them.

"Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" They both shouted in unison, holding out their gestures. Both of them played Spock, and both immediately groaned loudly. "A tie." Doofenshmirtz exclaimed.

"Looks like we'll have to go again." Roger suggested, and Doofenshmirtz agreed. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" Again, they held out their gestures, both Spock again. Again, both men groaned in frustration. "You know, one of us is going to have to stop playing Spock."

"So how do we decide?" Doofenshmirtz asked. For that solution, they turned to..."Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" And once again, both held out Spock. Both men started shouting in frustration.

"You know what? It's fine. I'll just ask Candace if she wants to go." Vanessa said as she left, though neither Roger nor her father heard her.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Danville Park, Raj, just as he said, was pitching in an exhibition match at one of the baseball fields. His team was facing Danville High School's baseball team, believed to be the best in all of the Tri-State Area, and Raj was dominating. In fact, the final batter he faced, with 2 outs in the 6th inning, he struck out on his signature split-fingered fastball.

As he returned to the dugout, his line of work officially finished for the night, he found a gift basket on the bench addressed to him. Inside held a Cleveland Indians baseball cap, a complementary baseball signed by former Indians player Jim Thome, and an authentic new glove. Raj initially appeared confused, but it started making sense once Baljeet came into the picture.

"Baljeet?" He questioned. "This is yours?"

"Yes. This is my gift to you. You may think of it as a...peace offering of sorts."

"Peace offering?"

"Yes. I have come to offer an apology."

"For...?" Raj was skeptical of Baljeet's "apology", and let it be known to him.

"For mocking you earlier over your desire to forsake college and pursue a career in professional baseball."

"You know, Baljeet, you really hurt me with your comments. I did not come all the way out to Danville in order to hear some criticism from my cousin."

"I understand. I was too far out of line with my remarks. I was so focused on the negativity from your news that I did not ever think to consider the positive. I realize now that you skipping college to pursue this opportunity is entirely your decision. You believe that this is the best opportunity for you to experience the success that you are looking for, and although I do not agree with this decision, you will have my full support."

Raj took a deep breath and smiled warmly at his cousin, relieved to hear that announcement. "Thank you." He finally said after a long silence. "That is all I ever wanted. By the way, where did you get the signed Jim Thome ball? He's, like, my favorite Indians player ever. Well, it's a toss-up between him an Omar. But I prefer the longball. "

"Oh, that is simple. I purchased the ball from the dollar store, and then I forged the signature." Baljeet responded rather cunningly. With that response, though, Raj took the basket with him and took his leave, hiding his visibly disgusted facial expression. Baljeet, though, still did not understand why. "What is wrong? Are those gifts not acceptable for your sports needs?" He sighed heavily and shook his head. "Perhaps this is why none of my friends or family from India want to visit me."

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house, the boys continued to demonstrate their vast collection of adventures with Dr. Cooper.

"And this is our space friend, Meap." Phineas explained, holding a picture of Meap. "We've teamed up with him to defeat his arch nemesis, Mitch. Or as he likes to be called, "Big Mitch"."

"Fascinating. You've discovered life on other planets. And Mars." Dr. Cooper responded.

"We sure did. But none of this would have been possible without the help of our friends." Phineas responded, acknowledging Isabella, Buford, and Irving.

"Is that so?" Dr. Cooper asked. "Well, what fields of science do you all specialize in?" He asked, in a tone of half sarcasm and half seriousness. None of the friends knew how to respond.

"Um...we don't specialize in science." Isabella answered. "I'm a...girl scouts troop leader."

"I give nerds wedgies on a daily basis." Buford responded.

"And I'm a stalker." Irving also replied optimistically, leading Buford to give him a wedgie.

Dr. Cooper merely shook his head. "I apologize on your behalf." He said to Phineas and Ferb.

"Apologize? For what?" Phineas questioned.

"It's one thing to constantly handle the mishandled intelligence of your prepubescent mother and irritable sister, but to also handle these barbaric things you call friends?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh please, don't please dumb with me. It's obvious that they are nowhere as intellectual as you. And quite frankly, I'm surprised that the two of you turned out as intelligent as you have considering that you are both specimens of _that_ thing." Dr. Cooper pointed to Linda, who had returned to the living room with Candace. By now, Linda had grown so tired of his insults that she was on the verge of tears. "And another thing, do you even like your sister? By my research, she doesn't even like you, as she has constantly spent her time stifling your creations because of her jealousy towards you two. She wishes she were even a fraction as intelligent as you." Now, Candace was on the verge of tears, and Phineas had seen enough.

"Dr. Cooper..." He said, getting off the couch and walking towards the front door. "I think it's time for you to go."

Dr. Cooper appeared visibly surprised by this statement, as did everybody else, except for Ferb, who joined Phineas by the front door. "I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. It's time for you to go."

Dr. Cooper blinked twice. "I don't understand."

"It's real simple, Dr. Cooper. I'm kicking you out because I'm not going to sit here and listen to you insult my friends and family any longer."

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means he doesn't share your opinion of us. According to him, we're not stupid." Linda remarked.

Phineas turned to Linda and Candace, his facial expression remaining unchanged. "Mom, that's not what I said and you guys know it. Look, I'll admit it. The past couple of summers have really opened my eyes. Candace," He turned to his sister. "At first, I didn't exactly understand why you never seemed to be interested in enjoying summer like Ferb and I did. I used to think that it was because you were extremely sophisticated and grown-up. But as time passed, I kinda started to realize that that wasn't the case."

"It took me a long time to figure it out, but then I finally realized that you were always just out to bust Ferb and I for our inventions, and for a while, I despised you for it. And Mom..." He turned to his mother. "All Candace wanted was to show you what we were doing because she thought that if she did some of that stuff, you'd punish her, and you have. You even punished Ferb and I! Do you have any idea how hurt and distraught I was when you grounded us for that? All we were doing was having fun, and you took that away from us."

"But, Phineas, I-"

"And I still haven't forgiven you for that!" He interrupted. "I was always eager to show you what we made, but somehow, it always disappeared, and instead of listening to us, you belittled and punished us. I ran away from home because I was not going to be stifled like that. For a long time, I couldn't really figure out why, but now that I've had a lot of time to process all of this, I have to agree with Dr. Cooper. You guys are kinda stupid."

"Shame on you, you protozoic molecules!" Dr. Cooper chimed in, mocking Linda and Candace. "Shame, shame!"

Phineas turned to Dr. Cooper, glared, and then turned back to his family. "But you know what? Heck with it. You're family. I would've never said this stuff to your faces and insulted you like this, and I'm certainly not going to let some stranger whom I've never met before do that."

"Excuse me?" Dr. Cooper jumped, visibly offended.

"Dr. Cooper, even if you _are_ intellectually superior to my mom and my sister..."

"If?"

"That doesn't give you the right to talk down on them like you have since you got here. And you certainly don't have the right to talk down on my friends, either. It's time for you to leave before you make me any more angry."

Dr. Cooper stood up and began to walk towards the door. "I don't seem to understand. I assumed that adolescents of your incredible intellect would have no use for such inferior beings as..._those two_." He pointed to Linda and Candace. "Don't you understand? All they have done is hold you back and bring you down. You could have been head of the scientific community by now had you been free to advance your knowledge. But clearly, under this roof, under this leadership, that has not been possible."

"So maybe I could have been head of the scientific community. But I'm not, and I sure don't want to be."

"And why, might I ask, is that?"

"Because with the life I have right now, I'm _happy_! Do you hear me? Happy!" As he shouted this, Isabella stood up and ran over to Phineas, hugging him tightly. "I have an awesome life. I have an amazing stepbrother, a beautiful girlfriend, fun friends, a roof over my head, and a loving family. I know I'm happy. You might want to look that up."

"I anticipated such a third-rate response from a fourth-rate witless being such as yourself, and I have done my research. Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasantemotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. It is often defined as living a good life or flourishing, rather than as an emotion, a common mistake for middle-class citizens such as you and your stepbrother."

With that remark, he stuck his chin in the air, opened the door, and began walking out, stopping before he shut the door behind him. "Just for the record, I will be submitting my interview data to the scientific community, and when they glance over the notes I have written down in our discussion, you two will be the laughing stock of the scientific community."

"Well, that's fine and dandy, I guess." Phineas said in his usual optimistic voice.

"They say laughter _is_ the best medicine, after all." Ferb added.

"That's a common misconception. See, laughter is simply a reaction from certain stimuli, such as being tickled or hearing a funny joke. It is a part of human behavior that is regulated by the brain. But there are also negative aspects associated with laughter, such as cataplexy, which is a sudden loss of muscle tone, unpleasant laughter spells, and excessive elation, all commonly associated with people with neurological conditions, such as-" But before he could finish, the door was shut behind him by Ferb.

Then both boys promptly stepped away from the front door and returned to their friends. "Well, so much for that." Phineas said while not trying to sound too disappointed.

"Phineas, you do realize that you just shut the door on a man who was twice as smart as you. Twice as smart as all of us combined, for that matter." Isabella pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. And it was worth it."

"What good is supreme intellect if you have nobody to share it with?" Ferb added.

"Well, I'm proud of both of you for standing up for us and your friends." Linda remarked. "Anyway, you kids look like you could use a snack. There's one more piece of Doonkelberry pie left in the fridge."

"Doonkelberry pie? My favorite!" Phineas shouted, but then looked to his other friends, and saw that they wanted that piece of pie as well. "So, who gets it?"

"I guess there's only one fair way to settle this." Ferb suggested, as the friends all agreed. They all held out their hands, and began playing. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!" They all held out and each of them showed Spock. They all groaned.

"Another tie." Irving remarked.

"You know, one of us is going to have to stop putting up Spock." Isabella remarked.

"But how do we decide that?" Buford asked, and of course, to that, they turned to Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock. But once again, when they were finished, they all held out Spock, to everybody's frustration. By then, Candace and Linda had already left the room.

**End of Episode 59!**

**Hope you enjoyed it. I gotta say that I had more fun writing this episode than I have in any of my others one in a really long time. I think this is my personal favorite.**


	74. 60a: Just One Shift

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 60a: Just One Shift**

**Episode Summary****************:************************************************Candace takes up a job at Danville Park with Stacy. But she is forced to enlist Phineas and Ferb's help when she discovers that her boss is incredibly stingy and intolerant of "slackers". Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz also heads to Danville Park, looking for specific items in order to complete his latest -inator, and it's up to Perry to stop him without Candace spotting her.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna to Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shine down on Danville Park, where Candace herself with her best friend, Stacy. Stacy had a job as one of the park's groundskeepers, and was "persuaded" (OK, forced) to take the job by her mother.

"Why would your mom force you to take a job like this?" Candace asked.

"She says she wants me to experience "the adult world for a change." whatever that means." Stacy replied, shrugging her shoulders while picking up garbage off the ground.

"Well, that's a bummer."

"Oh, it's not so bad. I get two ten-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. Plus, I get paid $8.00 an hour."

"So what is it that you have to do?"

"You know, just mow the lawn, trim hedges, clean up the garbage, basically, just keep the park looking nice and fresh. It's really a neat job. You should look into getting on board."

"A groundskeeper? I don't think so. If I'm going to get a job, I want it to be something glamorous, like a fashion model, or something."

"But I thought you wanted to save up some money to buy your new "boyfriend" a present." Stacy snickered.

"Kurt is not my boyfriend...yet. And I do. But I want to buy it right away. I don't wanna have to work for 6 months and _then_ buy the gift, 'cause that kinda defeats the purpose."

"You know you don't have to get him an expensive gift. You've known him for, like, a month."

"Almost a month."

"Look, do you want a job or not?"

Candace relented and sighed. "Fine. Where do I apply?"

Stacy led her to the warehouse where Candace applied for the job, and was given one right on the spot. Soon, she and Stacy found themselves in the center of the park with their boss, a short, scrawny man wearing slacks and a beige shirt.

"OK, girls, I need you on a very important assignment." Their boss informed them. **(A/N: As for the voice of the boss, picture Benson from "Regular Show".)** "Tonight, the park is hosting a movie night, and we need to set up for the event. I made a list of the things I need you two to get." He took out a very long piece of paper and handed it to the girls. "There's two day's worth of pay in it for you if you pull this off. Can I trust you?"

"You bet you can trust us." Stacy quickly answered. "We'll get right on it."

"Good. I'll be in the shed if you have any questions." With that, he turned around and took off. Candace turned to Stacy.

"You sure seem anxious to get started." Candace observed.

"Well, it's not that. It's just...well, it's not really a good idea to upset him."

"What do you mean?"

"Earlier today, I saw the boss screaming at another employee for being late for, like, the 15th time. He fired him right on the spot and everything. I think he was one of Vanessa's friends. The other employees say that the boss has a very short fuse. Like, shorter than Yosemite Sam."

"I happen to find that comment quite insulting, lady!" Came a voice that boomed from beneath them. Both girls looked down to see that Yosemite Sam was standing right there with them before he turned his back to them and walked away.

"Let's get going." Candace said quickly. Stacy agreed, and the two girls took off.

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz rummaging through garbage bins!_**

Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was rummaging through several garbage bins, looking for something. It was at that time that he discovered that Perry had arrived to investigate this. "Perry the Platypus, what a nice surprise." Doofenshmirtz said. "Sorry, I don't have a trap ready for you. I've been too busy rummaging through these garbage bins. You see, Perry the Platypus, tonight is Danville Park's Move Night. And, well...uh, y-you remember that backstory I told you about that blind date I had with that girl who turned out to be a one-hit wonder? Yeah, well it turns out they're showing the very same movie tonight as they did back on that same night."

"Ever since she dumped me, I've despised that movie! So now, I'm going to ruin Movie Night for everybody else. I'm collecting trash from every waste bin I can find so that I can power up my newest device. I'm going to call it the Trash-inator! Once I have everything I need, I will unleash all of the collected garbage onto the big screen, thus riddling it with disgusting filth so repulsive, nobody would be able to see the movie playing. Thus, they were all grow frustrated and leave!"

As he started to gloat, he noticed the park manager walking around. Doofenshmirtz panicked and ran away from the scene with the garbage he had collected. Perry quickly removed his fedora and activated his "mindless pet mode". When the boss came over, he immediately noticed Perry, but quickly assumed him to be an abandoned pet.

"What the..." He appeared visibly confused seeing a platypus out in the open. But, he was not about to abandon a lost pet when he saw one. So, he took him back to the warehouse and locked him up in a cage in order to keep him out of harm's way, completely unaware of his true identity. Thus, Perry began to work his way out of the cage in order to stop Doofenshmirtz.

* * *

Candace and Stacy wasted little time in gathering the supplies needed for the Movie Night. But there were a _lot_ of supplies that they needed to gather together. Gathering the necessary items, such as the various refreshments and beverages that were going to be served, a copy of the cassette that was going to be shown, plus the hundreds of chairs that were going to be used, slowly took their toll on the girls. In fact, it got so bad - and they got so little done - that Stacy suggested that they recruit some help. Candace was reluctant at first, because she believed that Stacy was suggesting that they go to Phineas & Ferb for help, which she did not want to do.

But with time winding down until movie night, and the fear of immediate termination upon failure in the front of their minds, Candace eventually relented and took Stacy back to her house. She knocked on the front door of her house, and immediately, to her surprise, Phineas answered.

"Hi, Candace." He said happily, delighted to see his sister. But his smile faded once he took a good look at his sister and Stacy, both were sweating profusely and giving signs of dehydration. "Whoa, Candace! What happened to you and Stacy?"

"Work. That's what happened."

"We took a job at the park as groundskeepers. He's running us ragged." Stacy added, gasping for air.

"How?"

"Well the park is having a movie night tonight and we're in charge of getting everything ready. We have to pick up the beverages, the refreshments, the chairs, the tape-"

"And we have to pass out fliers to everyone in town." Stacy added again.

"All before tonight?"

"Yep. We're exhausted, and we're nowhere close to being done. So we were kind of wondering...maybe, if you and Ferb aren't busy with anything, you would-"

"Lend a hand? Sure, Candace. We'd be more than happy to help you guys out. In fact, we'll round up all our friends. It sounds like you two could use all the help you can get."

So that was what Phineas and Ferb proceeded to do. They got on their cellphones and rounded up all of their friends, plus Isabella managed to round up the Fireside Girls. They all headed out to the park, where the Fireside Girls got busy setting up the hundreds of chairs gathered by Candace & Stacy, Phineas & Ferb got to work on the projector and the screen that was going to play the movie, and the rest of them went about town gathering the rest of the supplies on the list.

The entire experience was agonizing for everybody, not just Candace & Stacy. Setting up the hundreds of chairs for the event was exhausting for the Fireside Girls, Phineas & Ferb had a difficult time fixing up the old projector that seemingly originated from the stone age, and the endless scavenger hunt for the necessary refreshments left the rest of the group without a dime to spare.

* * *

In the meantime, Perry had escaped from his cage and set off for Doofenshmirtz's lair. Once he arrived, he found the evil genius working on his latest -inator, stuffing its storage unit with filthy garbage. Before he could even react, Doofenshmirtz pulled out another laser gun and started shooting in Perry's direction. The platypus evaded every shot, but each successive shot came so quickly he barely had time to counteract with a weapon of his own.

Eventually, Doofenshmirtz's weapon ran out of bullets and Perry grew weary. "You are too late to stop me anyway, Perry the Platypus. My Trash-inator finally has enough garbage in it to be fully operational. Now, all I have to do is wait until they start playing that stupid movie so that I can finally take my revenge!" He laughed evilly and loudly in front of his nemesis, all before settling down and realizing that he would have quite a long wait until he would be taking any revenge. "You know, Perry the Platypus, since I am going to wait to activate my -inator, what do you say we do something? I don't know, maybe we could play a game or something. How about 20 Questions? Go ahead. You start."

Perry's facial expression suggested that he did not want to play 20 Questions. But Doofenshmirtz instead took it as a gesture of good will. "Oh, you want _me_ to go first? Why, how thoughtful, Perry the Platypus. OK, I'll start. Um, are you an animal?" Perry did not respond. "Uh, do you have more than 2 legs?" Again, Perry did not respond. "Did you star in a live-action film?" Again, no response. "You know, Perry the Platypus, I know we're in the middle of a good vs. evil battle, but the least you could do is cooperate."

Just as Doofenshmirtz was getting frustrated, there was a knock at his door. He walked over and answered it, revealing Charlene, his ex-wife, standing there.

"Hello, Heinz. Ready to go?" She asked, carrying her purse with her.

"Go? Go where?"

"Oh, don't tell me you forgot. Last week, you promise that you would take me to Danville Park's Movie Night." Doofenshmirtz's eyes burst wide open. He stood there for a good minute without so much as a breath. "Heinz?" She snapped her fingers several times to snap him out of it.

"What? What was that?"

"You promised you would take me to Danville Park's Movie Night?"

"Oh. Uh, t-that's right. I completely forgot. Just give me a moment. I-I have some things I need to take care of first." He quickly turned around and rushed to the window in order to stop his Trash-inator from firing. But no luck. It was set to fire in mere moments and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"What's the matter, Heinz?" Charlene asked as she approached him. "What's that toy you're playing with?"

"This? Oh, well..." Doofenshmirtz stuttered momentarily before regaining his composure. "This isn't a toy. This is my Trash-inator!"

"Your _Trash-inator_?"

"Yes."

"And what do you have a...Trash...ray for?"

"No, not a trash ray? A Trash-inator! I...I was planning on using it to smother the big projector screen in the park with trash."

"Can this thing really do that? And why would you want to ruin our Movie Night like that?"

"Yes, yes it _can_ do that. But no, I was not trying to ruin our Movie Night. I had completely forgotten about our date tonight."

"Then why so much angst against the movie?"

"Well, it's just that...y-you remember that story I told you about that blind date I went on with that girl who eventually went on to become a one-hit wonder, right?"

"You mean Lindana?"

"Yeah, her. Well, the movie that they're showing tonight is the same one they showed at that drive-in movie when she dumped me."

"I see. So this movie brings back some painful memories?"

"Exactly!"

"So, why go through the trouble of ruining everybody else's night when we could just go see another movie?"

"Well, because I'm an evil genius! It is my job to ruin other people's day."

"Heinz, you're not evil. You're just misunderstood."

"I know, I know. But I made this thing from scratch and I would at least like to try and use it before I am thwarted by Perry the Platypus."

"You mean your "nemesis"? The mindless pet that's sitting right there watching you rant?"

"Mindless pet? What are you...?" He looked in Perry's direction, and saw that Perry had gone from secret agent mode to his mindless pet mode, letting out his signature chatter. "Perry the Platypus!" He gasped. "He's swapped places with a mindless counterpart. Very shrewd, Perry the Platypus."

"You might not be evil, Heinz, but I'm starting to question your sanity."

"I'm not insane! My mother had me tested!" (**A/N: Can you guess the reference?**) Doofenshmirtz returned his attention to his -inator, and had it positioned to face the giant screen in the center of Danville park. "Now, let's see this thing of beauty work!" He laughed evilly for a brief time before being interrupted by Charlene again.

"Heinz, you know I gave you an alimony check days ago, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Don't tell me you've spent it all on _this_ thing!"

He turned to face her. "Of course not, Charlene. That's crazy." He turned back to the -inator before briefly turning back to her. "Check with me next week, though. You'll probably get a different answer." He returned his attention to his -inator, which was set to fire at any moment.

* * *

Meanwhile, down in the park, everything was nearly ready for the big Movie Night. The chairs were set up, the refreshments were out, and the projector was good and ready to go. Just as everything was set into place, Candace & Stacy's boss came out to check on the progress.

"How's it coming out here?" He asked, walking out. "Movie Night starts in..." He stopped and looked around, noticing immediately that Candace and Stacy were surrounded by the kids, something that he did not approve of. "What is going on out here? Who are these people?" He asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Oh, hey, boss." Candace said casually, unaware of his rage. "These are my brothers, Phineas and Ferb." Both stepbrothers waved to him. "And these are all of their friends."

"We helped Candace and Stacy set up for movie night." Phineas informed him.

"Oh, is that so? And why?" He asked.

"Because it was a lot of work and they couldn't handle it along."

The boss stood there quietly for a moment before responding again. "Oh, now I get it." He said, and there was a slight hint of sarcasm in his voice. "It all makes sense now."

"It does?"

"Yeah." Then he turned to Candace and Stacy, and his face got red real quick. "You were trying to squeeze out a little free child labor, weren't you?" He shouted to them, angry as anything, much to their surprise.

"Child labor?"

"And all because you two couldn't handle the simple tasks I laid out for you!"

"Simple task? Wait a minute!" Candace shouted back. "You asked us to set up hundreds and hundreds of chairs, pick up groceries for the many refreshments you were going to serve - and make the refreshments ourselves - pick up a copy of the movie, _and_ spread the word by handing out fliers to every single person in the Tri-State Area! And you wanted it all down by tonight!"

"Exactly! What's so hard about that?"

"You know what? We asked them to help us out because you wanted to have the park host a Movie Night, and we knew we wouldn't be able to get all of it done before tonight. And they didn't hesitate to help us because they're selfless! They cared about us. You know, at first, this job didn't seem so bad. But if _this_ is the workload that we have to face every day, and for only eight bucks an hour, then no thanks."

"You're complaining about today? I went easy on you two because it's your first day!"

"Easy?"

"But what it sounds like to me is that you two clearly can't handle a hard day's work! If you have to resort to using children to do your work for you - and do it poorly - then you're clearly not cut out to be a groundskeeper."

"Well, that's not really fair. I...wait, what do you mean "poorly"?"

"Where should I start?" He walked over to the refreshments table. "First of all, the entire refreshments table is completely disorganized. Nobody can tell where the snacks are or where the drinks are. Oh, and speaking of the drinks...I asked you to pick up some lemonade. You brought limeade! Limeade! Who the heck drinks limeade?"

"I drink limeade." Isabella said softly.

"Well, good for you!"

"You know what?" Candace interrupted, now rather angry. "You can keep your checks, because Stacy and I quit."

"No you don't. You're fired!" He shouted even louder than before.

"You can't fire us. We just quit!"

"Yeah!" Stacy agreed.

"Except for the fact that you have a "No quitting" clause in your contracts!"

"But we don't have contracts."

"There's a "No contract" clause in your contract as well."

"Whatever, dude. This job isn't worth it if we're just gonna be worked like dogs for nothing more than minimum wage to a surly, unappreciative maniac like you." Candace rebuffed.

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me. Face it, Dude. We talked to some of our co-workers, and none of them like you. They say you're far too demanding of them, and that you rarely give them tasks that they can actually handle, and that you have a really short fuse, even shorter than Yosemite Sam."

"Didn't we already make that joke?" Stacy asked.

"Hey, things get done around this place because I run the park like a boot camp. I don't care very much for slackers and I will not tolerate anyone goofing off."

"But if you want things to get done so quickly, why do you have a problem with us helping Candace & Stacy?" Phineas asked, clearly confused.

"Because I'm trying to teach my workers some responsibility, some pride in a job well done. They need to learn to do things on the spot. That's what I pay them for."

"You pay them eight bucks an hour." Candace said sternly. "And besides, we still got the job done anyway, even if it isn't up to your freakish standards. So if you have a problem with that, then there's something wrong with you."

"Suuuuuure." The boss said very sarcastically. "I am great at what I do! I keep this park running orderly, and right now, it's a lot more orderly with you two not working here! I've been manager of this place for years, so if I'm not supposed to be in charge, and this place isn't supposed to be run like a boot camp, then please, somebody give me a sign!"

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's, his Trash-inator was now fully charged and ready to fire. "Ah ha!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. "At last, my Trash-inator is ready to fire." He aimed the device as carefully as he could. The target he was aiming for - the giant movie screen in the middle of the park - was very far away, despite it size. That made it even more difficult for Doofenshmirtz to hit his target directly. "This is so exciting. I wish Perry the Platypus was here to share this with me. Instead, he bolted and left this mindless pet with-" He looked in the direction of "Perry", only to discover that there was nothing there. "And of course, he's gone. OH well." He turned back to his Trash-inator. "And...FIRE!" And when it did finally fire, it did not hit its initial target unfortunately. Instead...

* * *

_**SPLAT!**_

It hit Candace and Stacy's boss square on, leaving him completely drenched in garbage and filth. Everyone else gasped loudly around him, while he simply stood there, soaking in the trash. "Well, I guess the groundskeeper gods have spoken." He then turned to Candace & Stacy, reached into his pocket, and pulled out lots of green bills, handing them to the girls. "Hows about I offer you double your salary to come back? Huh? What do you say? Bygones be bygones?"

Stacy and Candace both looked at each other for a brief moment, then looked at their boss. Then, they both turned around and started running as fast as they could away from him, to his anger. "Hey!" He shouted to them, but found himself unable to move out of his garbage trap. "They're getting away with my money." He looked around him and saw nobody moving in an effort to retrieve it. "Why isn't anybody going after them?"

"Well, you were kind of mean to them." Phineas said quietly. "And you probably shouldn't have given them the money until _after_ they accepted the job offer."

"Rookie mistake." Ferb said slyly, as he, and the others, also left the park, leaving the boss covered in garbage. The boss was initially very angry at this, but ultimately, he agreed with them, and he came to another conclusion.

"I need to take a vacation.

**End of Episode 60a!**

**Well, that's the end of that episode. The updates are coming a lot faster than they had been previously, because I've highly enjoyed writing these recent episodes. I had my graduation party this past Saturday and it was awesome. Now, with high school officially done, I'll try to keep cranking the episodes out. Keep reviewing, and checking my profile page for any updates.**


	75. 60b: Synchronized Swim Meet

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 60b: Synchronized Swim Meet**

**Episode Summary****************:************In the midst of a heat wave, Phineas and Ferb turn their own house into an indoor swimming pool in order to beat the heat. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz plans to steal all the pool water in the Tri-State Area and open up his own poolside business.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb found themselves sitting under their big tree in the backyard, trying to stay cool. A heat wave had hit the Tri-State Area, soaring temperatures close to triple digits.

"You know, boys, if the heat's bothering you this much, you really shouldn't be out here." Their mother told them. "Hopefully, this heat wave'll pass soon."

"It's too bad we don't have our own pool." Phineas commented. "We sure would have an easier time cooling off."

"I'm sorry, boys. But we can't afford to build one right now."

"Who said anything about building a pool...?" He slowly turned to his brother, who had the same idea in mind. "Ferb, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked, Ferb nodded. "Then I know what we're gonna do today!"

So the boys asked everyone to evacuate the house so they could get to work. They sealed off all of the windows in the house, and plugged up any holes that were in the house. Then, they got to work on devising a water soluble that would always stay nice and cool. Once they did so and made more than enough of it, they started filling up the house with the water soluble. Then they called everybody back into the house.

But once they opened up the door and stepped inside, they immediately saw what they had been doing. They had turned their entire house into an indoor swimming pool. "Phineas, what is this?" Linda asked, her voice raised slightly.

"Do you like it? We turned our house into an indoor pool." Phineas explained proudly. "Why should we have to suffer in this insufferable heat wave without a pool?"

"Well, the thought of a pool does sound nice. But did you even consider the safety and welfare of our indoor appliances?"

"Of course we did. We souped up everything in this house so it's all waterproof. So we can still use the oven & microwave, we can still watch TV, and our plumbing system still works, which I would highly recommend using in place of the pool. Don't worry, guys. We thought of everything. We even have some pool toys ready if you guys wanna play."

"You do have to admit the water is pretty refreshing." Candace remarked, as she felt totally relaxed with her feet in the cold water.

"The water sits at a cool 78 degrees. It might be a little chilly for you guys, but it sure beats baking in the heat."

"I'll say."

"Hey, where's Perry? I bet he'd love this."

* * *

Perry was in his lair, a lair that did not have a working air conditioner. He spent his entire briefing sweating.

"Agent P, sorry about the intense heat. Your air conditioner broke down last night and we're sending someone over there to fix it. In the meantime, you're not the only one who's baking in the heat. The entire Tri-State Area is suffering, and if Dr. Doofenshmirtz gets his way, that's how it's going to stay. Our sources tell us he's planning to steal all of the pool water in the Tri-State Area. We cannot let that happen, 1) because pools are a great way to keep cool in this heat wave, and 2) because I'm hosting a pool party after work today. So go get him!"

Perry saluted and went off. He made his way over to Doofenshmirtz's lair. When he arrived at the building, he was surprised to see nobody inside, not even Norm. But then he looked out one of the windows and saw Doofenshmirtz and Norm, along with several open pools. Some were filled with water, some weren't. Perry leaped out of the window and opened his parachute as he descended to the ground. But once his feet touched the ground, he found himself glued to the ground, and unfortunately, he was directly below the sun's rays, and the heat was baking him.

"Perry the Platypus, glad to see you'll be _sticking_ around!" He emphasized the word "sticking", noting Perry's feet being stuck to the ground via glue. "Get it? Sticking around? 'Cause your feet are glued to the ground, and you can...OK, you get it. Alright. Great." He returned his attention to his pools. He was filling the empty ones up with water via a hose, a hose that was connected to a large device that appeared to be attached to the ground. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! I call it the Drain-inator!"

"You see, on a hot day like this, people have many ways to cool themselves off. Air conditioners, for one, they can also drink a lot of cold water. But the most often used way of cooling off is..."

"A freeze ray!" Norm shouted.

"No! Stay out of this, Norm. No, the best was is by using a swimming pool! Now, you know that I cannot swim, so I will have to find another way to stay cool. But, it got me to thinking: in the midst of this ridiculous heat wave, what lengths would people go to find comfort? Now, of course you know I can't swim, so I will find another way to keep myself cool. In the meantime, using my Drain-inator, I am sucking away all of the pool water in the Tri-State Area, and, with several mechanisms I've installed into it, making the incoming water several degrees cooler and far more refreshing. With no pool water anywhere else in the Tri-State Area, everybody will come rushing over to me, and I will provide them nice, refreshing relief...at a modest cost. By the time this heat wave ends, I'll be rich!"

"But you still won't know how to swim." Norm cleverly retorted.

"Quiet!"

* * *

Back at home, everybody had changed into their bathing suits. While they all initially expressed discomfort with having their house turned into an indoor swimming pool by Phineas & Ferb, they all agreed that it was much better than having to bake in the excessive heat.

"Isn't this nice?" Phineas asked, as he let himself sink into the cool, refreshing water.

"Well, I'm not too fond of spending the entire day soaking myself in pool water, but yes, I have to admit, this _is_ nice." Linda agreed.

"Don't worry, Mom. We can drain the pool at any time. We can also turn the stairs into a water slide if you want." Just at the moment, there was a knock at the front door. It swung open and revealed Isabella there.

"Hi, Phineas!" She shouted, immediately noticing him, but failing to notice the water. "Whatcha' doIINN!" As she finished her catchphrase, she fell into the water. She came back up, obviously confused. "What the..." She looked around and noticed the water. "Phineas, what is this?"

"Ferb and I turned our house into an indoor pool in order to beat the heat." Phineas explains.

"Ooh, nice. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure." He turned back towards his mom. "Mom, is it OK if Isabella joins us?" He asked her; she nodded. "Awesome." He turned back to his girlfriend. "Just put on your bathing suit and you can get to enjoying the soothing feel of this water."

"OK!" She left the house and went back home to put on her bathing suit. Merely seconds after, Buford, Baljeet, & Irving showed up, already in their bathing suits.

"Hi guys!" Irving shouted happily. "We heard about your indoor pool."

"Wow, word travels fast." Phineas said. "But we kinda did this for our family, not for yo-"

"CANNONBALL!" Buford shouted as he leaped into the air and jumped into the pool and splashed water everywhere, much to the annoyance of Phineas, Ferb, and their family.

"Buford, perhaps you, Baljeet, and Irving would like to go swimming in the public pool." Linda suggested, almost grinding her teeth. "It's probably a lot less crowded than here."

"Yeah, but the water's not nearly as refreshing there as it is here."

"He is right." Baljeet agreed. "It is like paradise here!"

"I'll say!" Irving added, splashing rather recklessly, to Linda's chagrin.

"Phineas, Ferb, may I speak to you in private for a moment?" She asked her sons, which they agreed to. "Boys, you didn't invite them over to swim, did you?"

"No. In fact, none of them knew about it until now. I guess Isabella must have told them about it, but I didn't tell her to invite them." Phineas responded.

"Well, you know that I like your friends, but when it comes to swimming, they can be kind of rude."

"Oh, I know."

"And the water is always warm around Buford." Ferb added, much to their disgust.

"You want us to get rid of them?"

"If that's possible, I would appreciate it. Just go up to them and tell them that this swimming pool is for the family only." Both Phineas and Ferb snickered. "What's so funny?"

"No offense, Mom, but those guys are kind of stubborn. It's gonna take more than talking to them to get rid of them. But don't worry. We'll think of something."

* * *

Back with Doofenshmirtz, he was just finishing up draining all the pool water from the entire Tri-State Area, and filling up his own pools. "Almost there, and...DONE!" The last drop came out of the hose, and with that, every one of Doofenshmirtz's newly built pools were filled with water that he stole from everybody else. "Yes! I have stolen everyone else's pool water! Now I can open up my business and make a fortune! All I have to do is spread the word now."

He turned towards his nemesis, still stuck to the ground. "Now, I'm not a total jerk, so I'm not just going to leave you to bake in the sun like this." He went into the building, and came back out moments later with a nice, cold glass of water. He set it down right next to Perry. "Here you go, Perry the Platypus." He said. "Enjoy it while you have it, because it is the last drink you'll have before I take over the Tri-State Area!" He laughed evilly as he climbed up onto Norm's back, and they both flew into town to spread the word.

Perry stared out into space for a moment, shaking his head. He immediately realized that Doofenshmirtz had put his escape rout in front of him. He grabbed the water and poured it all over his feet. Despite the fact that the water was cold, it was still enough to melt the glue and free Perry from his trap. He then started off in Doofenshmirtz's direction, but then stopped for a moment, rethinking his options.

It was then that Perry decided that he would stop Doofenshmirtz in an entirely different way. Instead of chasing after his nemesis, he decided to sabotage to plan by filling the pools with garbage to contaminate the pools, a nod to the previous plan he had foiled. (See previous chapter) He got right to work, figuring out how the Drain-inator worked, and then managed to re-coordinate it so it targeted town dumps, and began sucking up all of the garbage from them, and filling up the pools with garbage.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz immediately got to work spreading the word of his new business. At every stop along the way, he was somehow, by his lonesome self, able to convince everybody he met in the Tri-State Area to check out the pools at his evil lair. Although Doofenshmirtz was not very well-known in the area, just the mere mention of "pool" was enough to get them to do whatever he wanted, which was music to Doofenshmirtz's ears.

Not only was he able to convince regular townspeople to follow him, but he also managed to convince his brother, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz, to follow him, which made the scheme all the more sweet for him.

* * *

As for Phineas and Ferb, they now had the difficult task of trying to get rid of Buford, Irving, and Baljeet. Although their mother was OK with having Isabella over, she wasn't so keen on Buford, Irving, and Baljeet. At the moment, neither were Phineas and Ferb.

That was because Buford was a bit obnoxious when it came to playing in the water. He splashed the water a little bit too hard around family members, while Irving tried to stalk Phineas & Ferb and Baljeet attempted to "lecture" Candace about how Phineas and Ferb were able to create water that remained cool for an extended period of time, much to her annoyance.

This forced Phineas and Ferb's hand. "Come on, bro. Think. There has to be a way to get rid of them before they completely ruin this invention."

"Don't you feel a little low about having to get rid of our friends like this?" Ferb asked him.

"A little, but we made this indoor pool for our family only. We do lots of stuff for our friends, but I think that they'll understand that this was just for family."

"If you're so confident, then how come we're going behind their backs in order to get rid of them rather than talk to them face-to-face?"

"Because, Ferb, Buford's stubborn, Irving's a little creepy, and Baljeet's kind of a know-it-all. Do you really think they'd just listen to us that easily and leave?"

"Good point."

"Besides, who would wanna leave this water? It feels like paradise." He splashed some of the water to prove his point.

"Fair enough. So, what's the plan?"

"We're going to trick them into thinking that this water is too dangerous to be swimming in. Let's get to work."

Phineas and Ferb began pondering on ways to trick their friends into thinking that the water was too dangerous to swim in. Phineas immediately thought of an idea. The idea consisted of Phineas and Ferb turning the water into a powerful tsunami in an attempt to scare off Buford, Baljeet, and Irving. Luckily, because Phineas and Ferb had created the water to begin with, they were able to manipulate the water to do whatever they wanted with it.

So, with some work, they managed to manipulate the water and turn it into a powerful tsunami. It was then that Phineas and Ferb both assumed their acting identities. "Uh oh!" Phineas shouted, getting his friends' attention. "Something's wrong with the water." Indeed, the water began to move around violently around the three boys.

"What's happening?" Buford asked, not sounding too concerned.

"It looks like there's a negative side effect to this water. I guess I didn't realize that the water would be so unstable." Phineas put on a pretty good acting job, as it seemed to fool Buford, Baljeet, and Irving. "It's turning itself into a tsunami! You guys better run!"

"I am already ahead of you!" Baljeet shouted, as he made his way to the exit, screaming, and most likely needing a new bathing suit. Irving and Buford, however, were not scared away so easily.

"Ha! I'm not scared of no tsunami!" Buford shouted confidently.

"Me neither. Besides, this water's just too good to leave so easily." Irving added. As he and Buford turned back to playing in the water, Phineas and Ferb got back to work on trying to get rid of them. Phineas got himself another idea, this time, making holograms of he and Ferb and tricking Irving into thinking that they were leaving and going somewhere far away. He was hoping to take advantage of Irving's severe obsession of them.

When Phineas and Ferb finished, they sent the holograms out towards Irving. "Hey, Irving." The Phineas hologram said. "We're going to the Superduper Mega Superstore. Wanna come?"

Irving looked up for a brief moment, appearing not to give any reaction. But then, he started to scream like a little girl and immediately dashed out of the house, with the holograms following him closely by. That left only Buford. Buford proved to be the toughest to deal with. Although he did have a soft spot as a self-proclaimed bully, he was still a bully, and one that was difficult to scare.

"Two down, one to go." Phineas said to Ferb. "Now how do we scare Buford off?" He asked his stepbrother, noting that Buford was splashing away at the water to the discontent of his family.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry had just finished filling up all of Doofenshmirtz's pools with garbage. With his work complete, he decided to bail out before Dr. Doofenshmirtz returned with all of his new "customers". He used his jetpack to fly up to the top of the building in order to remain out of sight. It was at that moment that Doofenshmirtz returned with all of his new "customers".

"Citizens of Danville, are you ready for the most relaxing, soothing day of pool fun you have ever experienced?" He announced through a megaphone to all of his potential customers, who cheered at the thought of soaking in a nice pool. "Then step right up to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated's very own Pool Center! For just five dollars per person per hour, each and every one of you can enjoy fresh, sparking 78 degree pool water to cool off from this ridiculous heat wave."

"OH MY GOD!" One of the potential customers shouted, immediately noticing the immense amount of trash that Perry piled up in each pool.

"Yes, yes, I understand your eagerness to take a swim. But be patient. Everyone will-"

"Swim? Who would want to swim in this filth?"

"Filth? That's no way to speak about my lovely pools." Doofenshmirtz turned and faced the pools, and that was when he realized that his lovely pools - once filled with water that he had stolen from the people that were now kissing the ground beneath him - had been defaced by filth and garbage. "MY POOLS! My beautiful pools! What happened to them?" He ran over to inspect his pools that were now overflowing with garbage.

"You expect us to swim in this?" Another man shouted, disgusted with the scene in front of him.

"Uh, n-n-no, of course not. I-I just-"

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"We're sweating our tuchuses off and you try to tease us with this?"

"No, i-it's not like that at all!" Doofenshmirtz was unable to fight off all the grumblings from the frustrated crowd that came for refreshing pool water and ended up coming to pools filled with filth. "Now, I realize that it looks bad, but I assure you, underneath all of this trash is a bountiful gathering of the most refreshing pool water in the entire Tri-State Area. Now, how about you all stay and help me clean up these pools? No extra charge."

Nobody bought into it, angrily leaving the scene in a hurry and leaving Doofenshmirtz all by himself, dejected and confused. He turned to Norm, and began storming angrily towards him, only to find him stuck to the ground all of a sudden. It turns out that his feet were glued to the ground by Perry, who left the trap fpr him before he took off. "What the...I'm stuck? I'm stuck to the ground! What is the meaning of this?" He tried to lift his foot off the ground, only to discover that his feet had been glued to the ground. "My feet! But how? Who?" He then came to a realization. "Perry the Platypus! He must be responsible for this!"

His worst fears were confirmed when Perry flew down towards Doofenshmirtz, tipped his fedora, and flew off, leaving a frustrated and very hot evil genius stuck to the ground in the direct pathway of the blazing sun. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" He shouted, shaking his fist in Perry's direction as the Platypus soared off into the air.

"Don't worry, sir. It's not all that bad." Norm said. "Just look at the bright side."

"What bright side?"

"Now you don't have to worry about learning how to swim."

* * *

Back at home, it was time for Phineas and Ferb to enact their plan to get rid of Buford. They had noticed earlier that Buford had brought along his pet fish, Biff, and decided to use that pet fish for their plan. "Oh no!" Phineas shouted as he ran back downstairs with Biff in his hands.

"Hey, Dilweed, what are you doing with Biff?" Buford immediately asked.

"Getting him out of this water."

"Well why would you do that?"

"You mean we didn't tell you? This water's dangerous to little fish like Biff."

"What are you talking about?"

"The chemicals we used in making this synthetic water is harmful to fish. And by the looks of things, Biff doesn't look so good."

"Hamrful? You mean this stuff could actually kill him?" Buford shouted.

"No, not kill him. Just-"

"How could you do this to him?" Buford was about to go into a hysterical outburst, snatching Biff away from Phineas. "Don't you remember what happened last time I lost Biff?"

"But that was to the ocean, not pool water."

"Whatever! Point is I won't let that happen again! Biff is my whole life! Everything else is pointless!"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little?"

"No! No I'm not!" Buford turned and started to leave, with Biff firmly in his hands. "Come, Biff. Let's get out of this deathtrap. We'll go get ice cream." He walked towards the door and left without looking back.

"Suddenly, Ferb, I feel a little uneasy in my stomach." Phineas said to his stepbrother.

"That's funny. I feel $10,000 richer."

"What makes you say-" Phineas looked to his side and discovered that his stepbrother had his video camera out and had videotaped Buford's meltdown in its entirety. Phineas wasn't too pleased with this. "What?" (**A/N: That was a "America's Funniest Home Videos" reference**)

It was at that point that Isabella had returned in her bathing suit. Needless to say, she was quite confused at to what had occurred during her absence. "What did I miss?" He asked innocently.

**End of Episode 60b!**

**I realize that this episode isn't quite as long as the last one, and I admit this isn't one of my best ones. But reviews are appreciated like always and I hope that the next one will be better.**


	76. 61a: Mission Improbable

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 61a: Mission: Improbable**

**Episode Summary****************:**************** After a priceless, one-of-a-kind artifact is lost on Lawrence's watch, Phineas & Ferb decide to revive their old cartoon project, Team Imporbable, and bring their old characters to life in order to get the artifact back. But little do they know that the artifact in question ends up with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, who plans to use it to power his newest -inator.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb were visiting their father at the family antique store. "So, Dad? Have any interesting and perhaps adventure-inducing artifacts you can show us today?" Phineas eagerly asked his stepfather.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do." He answered, as he brought the boys over to a case that held a shiny, gold vase. "See this vase? It's believed that this vase once belonged to an ancient pharaoh. It was uncovered deep in the heart of Egypt a few weeks ago in perfect condition. The Historical Community is planning to make a presentation unearthing its discovery tomorrow morning and so they've delivered it here for safe-keeping."

"Cool."

"Yes, and the owners of this fine antique store have entrusted me with safe-guarding this vase at home until tomorrow. So what's say we all head out and meet Mom and Candace for some dinner?"

"That sounds great. What do you think, Ferb?" Phineas turned to his stepbrother. Ferb gave a blank expression towards Phineas, then turned to his father, Lawrence.

"Wait a moment. Aren't _you_ and Mother the owners of this antique store?"

"Yes. Yes we are. What's your point?"

"Well, how...er, never mind."

"Say, boys, where's Perry at?"

"Oh he's fighting crime for a secret agency that specializes in employing animals as secret agents." Phineas quickly responded, before, even more quickly, he covered his mouth, having realized that he had just revealed Perry's secret, a secret that only he had known. (**A/N: If you recall one of my earlier chapters, "Trial By Warfare", you'll remember that Phineas found out about Perry, but has kept it a secret to cover for him**). Lawrence and Ferb, however, did not take Phineas seriously, merely brushing it off.

"Is he now?" Lawrence said sarcastically with a chuckle. "I wonder if he has a sidekick." Phineas simply chuckled along, relieved that they didn't take him seriously.

He sighed heavily. "That was close." He said to himself as he wiped his brow and followed them out of the store. Meanwhile, deep in the heart of the store, Perry lay, in his fedora, also wiping his brow in relief.

The three of them drove home with the vase tucked in the car trunk. Unfortunately, the vase was so huge they were unable to get the trunk closed, so they drove home with the trunk open, and as a result, the vase fell out of the car just mere blocks away from the Flynn-Fletcher home, and they were completely oblivious to it.

And to make matters even worse, before they even realized that the vase had fallen out, someone pickced it out of the streets. In fact, it was none other than Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He just happened to be driving along the street when he laid his eyes on the golden vase. He slammed his foot on the brakes mere feet before running over it. "Hello, what do we have here?"

He got out of his car and ran over to the vase. "Would you look at that? It's a vase. This'll look real nice on my new desk...powering up my new -inator!" With that, he grabbed the vase quickly, stored it in his trunk, closed the door, taped it down with ductape (so it wouldn't fall out of the trunk), and drove off. Amazingly, the trunk remained closed as Doofenshmirtz returned to his lair.

Meanwhile, the Flynn-Fletcher boys exited the car after returning home and opened their trunk, only to discover that the vase was missing. The three of them gasped simultaneously. "The vase. It's gone!" Lawrence said.

"What could've happened to it?" Phineas pondered.

"I guess we didn't do a very good job of making sure it's secure. Oh dear, this is a problem. I'll be in deep trouble if the Historical Community arrives tomorrow to pick up the vase and I don't have it."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"Well, first, they sit you in a corner and make you take a time-out. Then they take you aside and give you a stern, boring lecture on why it's important to take proper care of such valuable artifacts."

"I'm getting bored just listening to this. So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Whoever came across that vase is in possession of a very valuable item. I'm sure they will be treating it with great care."

* * *

Meanwhile, at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, he was indeed treating the vase with great care. At least for the time being.

"I'm going to use this vase to power my newest invention!" Doofenshmirtz shouted to nobody in particular. "It's going to be so awesome!"

"Who are you talking to, sir?" Norm, his robotic assistant, asked, as he walked into the room alongside Doofenshmirtz's daughter, Vanessa.

"That's none of your concern."

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what exactly does your new -inator do?" Vanessa asked.

"I'm glad you asked, Vanessa. You see, this vase is made of 24-karat gold, which is precisely the kind of gold I need to power up..." He walked into the other room and came out with a giant ray gun. "My Anything-To-Gold-inator! With this device, I will become an instant multi-millionaire! How? Well, I'll explain."

"Step 1, using this thing that is powered by the golden vase I...found, I can turn anything that it aims at into pure, solid 24-karat gold. Step 2, there is a tractor beam that is also implemented in my Anything-To-Gold-inator. I call it the 'Tractor-Beam-inator'. With that, I can bring anything that I turn into gold instantly into my lair. Step 3, using..." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a very tiny laser gun. "My Gold-To-Green-inator, I can turn all of the gold I've collected into cold hard cash! I'll be rich! Even richer than my goody two-shoes brother, Roger. That, in turn, will make me more powerful than him, allowing me to swoop in and take over the Tri-State Area!" He laughed maniacally following his long-winded explanation. He felt very good about his plan. Vanessa, however, was not so pleased. "What?"

"Dad, if you're so desperate for money, why don't you just sell the vase. If it's made of 24-karat gold to begin with, it should garner a lot of interest on the open market."

"Vanessa, please. This is no time for you to be prodding my evil scheme with logic and reason."

"He's right." Norm said to Vanessa. "There will be plenty of time after it fails for you to prod."

"Quiet, Norm! Nobody asked you!"

During the argument, Perry, who had sneaked in and crept over to the -inator in an effort to disarm it, went completely unnoticed by Doofenshmirtz. In fact, it was Norm who first spotted Perry, prompting Doofenshmirtz to drop a cage on Perry. "Ah, Perry the Platypus. I assume you're here for the vase, am I right? Well guess what? You're not going to get it. And just to make sure you don't escape..." He took out a key, more specifically, the key that unlocked the cage. "I'm going to put this in a safe place." He grinned evilly at the key, leading to some suspicious thoughts from Vanessa.

"You're not going to eat that key like they do in the cartoons, are you?" She asked him flatly.

"What? No, no! Of course not! That's ridiculous." He walked it over to another cage, a tinier cage, and locked it in. "I'm simply going to put this key in this cage and lock it up." And then, after several seconds passed, Doofenshmirtz quickly gobbled up the key that unlocked the new cage, much to the surprise of everyone around him. "There! Now you're really trapped, Perry the Platypus!"

"So let me get this straight. You've decided to gobble down the key that unlocks the cage that holds the key that unlocks Perry's cage?" Vanessa asked him.

"That's right."

"So why not just eat the original key?"

"Because then it would have to pass through my digestive system, and do you know what keys are made of these days? Ugh, I'd have constipation for weeks. And then I wouldn't be able to unlock Perry's cage, which would completely defeat the purpose of this whole nemesis thing. I mean, what good is it to have a nemesis if he can't give you a fair fight. Am I right, Vanessa? Back me up here."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"You're an idiot."

* * *

Back at home, Lawrence began to panic. Without the vase, Lawrence was in danger of getting a boring lecture from the Historical Community. He thought that if he simply ignored the situation, then it would get better. But those hopes were put to bed when Lawrence received a call from the Historical Community.

"Hello?"

"_Good day, Lawrence. This is Wellington. How do you do?"_

"Uh, fine. Thank you."

"_I hope this is not a bad time, but I needed to inform you that due to a scheduling conflict, the members of the Historical Community will have to drop by and pick up the vase tonight."_

Lawrence gasped. "Tonight?"

"_That won't be a problem will it?"_

"Uh, no. It's just that..."

"_Very well. We shall see you in an hour."_ He hung up on the phone, leaving Lawrence on the other line, shocked and jumpy.

"Uh, yes, yes. Of course. I'll...I'll have it ready...when I figure out where it is." He said to himself, then found himself fainted on the ground. Phineas and Ferb soon came into the room and found their father passed out on the ground.

"Dad!" Phineas shouted as he and Ferb helped Lawrence sit upright. "Are you OK?"

"Who, me? Sure, sure I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. Except, of course, for the fact that the guy on the phone was from the Historical Community, and he said that they're coming over tonight to collect the vase."

"Tonight?"

"Yes, tonight! If I don't have that vase for them, I'm going to find myself sitting in a corner all by myself. Oh, what's the use? The chances of us finding that vase within the next hour are...well, it's downright improbable."

The worse "improbable" struck a chord with Phineas. Instantly, he began having flashbacks to the previous summer when he, Ferb, and the others created their own computer-animated show, "Team Improbable" based on Lawrence's obsession with the "Pinhead Pierre Show". "Phineas?" Ferb asked, noticing the space-out boy. He snapped his fingers several times to snap him out of it. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. That won't happen again. In fact, I'd say the chances are_ improbable_."

"Why are you emphasizing that word?"

"Because I have an idea! Come on, Ferb! We've got work to do!" He grabbed Ferb's arm and dragged him up the stairs to their room, leaving their disgruntled father down in the living room to wallow.

The two boys got to work immediately, though Ferb had absolutely no idea what was going on. When all was said and done, they had themselves a transformation chamber, and all of their friends (excluding Irving), in their room.

"So, Phineas, what's the big emergency?" Isabella asked, elated to see her boyfriend in action, but curious about the chamber.

"Our dad lost a very valuable artifact earlier today and he needs to find it within the hour or else."

"Or else what?"

"Or else the Historical Community will give him a time-out and a stern talking-to."

All the kids gasped, including Buford. "A stern talking-to?" He asked. "Who the heck wants that?"

"Exactly."

"But how are we supposed to find it?" Baljeet questioned. "It is not like we can scour this entire Tri-State Area in a mere hour."

"Maybe _we _can't. But I know some people who can. Friends, I think it's time for another installment of _The New Adventures of...TEAM IMPROBABLE!_"

Instead of the kids all cheering and whooping like Phineas had envisioned, they stared at him, questioning his motives. "No, seriously."

"I _am_ serious, guys. Doesn't the thought of taking on the form of your alter-egos intrigue you just a little bit?"

"Well, I must admit that I have recently expressed the desire to become Hanuman Man again so I can crush enemies in my way." Baljeet admitted.

"And it would be kinda cool to use burps to fight evil." Buford also admitted.

"That's the spirit! Now all you have to do is step into our transformation chamber. It has the files of all of our Team Improbable characters stored on its hard drive. All you have to do is step it and let it scan you so it can determine what character to give you. Who wants to go first?"

"I will!" Isabella shouted as she ran into the chamber without hesitation. Within 3 seconds, it had scanned her and transformed her into her Team Improbable alter-ego, "The Rainbow". "Check me out, guys! I'm _The Rainbow_!"

The other kids stared in awe. "Who's next?" Phineas asked, as one by one, the kids were all transformed into their Team Improbable counterparts. Baljeet was transformed into Hanuman Man, Buford into Belchman, Phineas into Multi-man, Ferb into Ferb guy, and Isabella into The Rainbow. "And together, we are...Team Improbable!"

"Yes, and now that we are in these colorful costumes, what do we do?" Baljeet asked.

"We go find that golden vase."

"How?"

"Ferb Guy has a lot of tools and gadgets. Maybe he has one that can help us track down that vase. Ferb Guy?" Everyone turned to Ferb. For a brief moment, he only gave them blank stares. Then, he opened his mouth and took out an unfamiliar looking device.

"Well, this should help us out. It's designed to track the highest concentration of pure gold. Since the vase is 24-karat, this device is preset to track the vase. And according to this, we've got ourselves a reading."

"Then let's get going!"

"But wait, what are we gonna do if someone sees us?" Isabella questioned. "Not to be rude, Phineas, but-"

"Up bup bup! Call me Multi-Man."

Isabella groaned. "Fine. _Multi-Man_. Not to be rude, but we kinda stick out like a sore thumb."

"Don't worry, Rainbow. I've thought ahead and put in cloaking devices into your costumes. All we have to do is bring your arms to your side, and you'll turn invisible, then put your arms to your side again to turn visible. That way we can conceal ourselves from the public."

"Very clever idea, Phineas."

"I said call me Multi-Man."

"Be thankful I am referring to you on a first-name basis despite my intellect far surpassing yours."

"Excuse me, but _who_ discovered time travel first? Thank you."

"Enough talk! Belchman wants to fight!" Buford shouted, and with that, they all turned themselves invisible and set out to find the vase.

Their quest led them to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. Of course, Phineas was the only one who was aware of where they were, as his past encounters with Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated brought him together again with his estranged father...before he went completely insane. He knew little of the devious scheme that was about to take place inside the lair.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz's -inator was fully charged and ready to go. He took careful aim out of his window. "The time has come for me to claim my riches and take over the Tri-State Area! Let's see. Whatever shall I blast first?" The sight of his brother, Roger, strolling about the streets gingerly caught his eye. "Aha! It's my goody two-shoes brother, Roger. I bet his suit would be worth a lot of money." He activated his -inator, and blasted it at Roger. The ending result saw his suit turn into pure gold. "Aha! Bullseye! And now to reel in my fortunes. " He pressed a button and within minutes, all of Roger's clothes, with the exception of his boxer shorts and his...pink tank top that he wore underneath his suit, which read "Real men wear pink", were teleported to Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. The pink tank top caught Doofenshmirtz off-guard, but erupted him into a loud, vociferous laughter.

No one on the streets, however, shared his sentiments. "Hey, look everyone." One bypasser shouted. "Mayor Roger is wearing a pink tank top and boxer shorts out in public!" Instead of garnering the public's ire or laughter, instead he drew their support and praise. "'Real men wear pink.' Truer words I have never seen on any article of clothing."

"He makes me feel more comfortable about liking girly things!" Another man yelled.

"He makes me want to wear my leather jacket out in public!" A woman shouted.

"Now I don't have to feel embarrassed to wear my shirts that don't fit me because they don't cover my heavy gut!" A fat man, whose stomach was sticking out because his shirt was too small, shouted. Eventually, all of the praise culminated with a chant.

"Four more years! Four more years!" Another man shouted, pumping both fists into the air. Quickly, everybody gathered around followed said chant. Doofenshmirtz was annoyed and unimpressed.

"How did I not see that coming?" He said quietly to himself before turning back to his -inator. As planned, Roger's suit had arrived and hovered in midair. He took out his Gold-To-Green-inator and fired it at the golden suit. "Ha ha! And now it is time to collect my..." His attitude quickly soured once he opened his eyes and discovered that untold fortunes were not waiting for him. "What's this?" Instead, only a few bills and some coins laid there. He picked up the money and counted it. "Six dollars and 40 cents...? Hey, wait a minute. This is a bus token! That doesn't even make any sense. A bus token is not money!"

Meanwhile, in the streets, Roger, still in his boxers, searched frantically - ironically - for the bus token. "I could've sworn I had a bus token with me."

Doofenshmirtz was not pleased with the results. "Well, this has been a bit of a letdown. Perhaps articles of clothing aren't as valuable as I thought they were." He went back to his Anything-To-Gold-inator and searched for another item to blast. As he was doing so, Team Improbable, still cloaked and invisible to the naked eye, stormed into the lair. At that point, Perry, who was still locked up in his cage, quickly took off his fedora and reverted to mindless pet mode.

Everyone else immediately took notice of the vase, while Phineas took notice of Perry. "Perry!" He whispered, careful not to shout. It was then that they all took notice.

Isabella gasped. "What's he doing here? And locked up like a vicious animal? That just isn't right."

"Perhaps this is what happens to him everyday." Baljeet suggested.

_You don't know the half of it. _Phineas thought to himself. As the only one who knew Perry's real secret, it sometimes hurt him to know that he couldn't tell anybody. "I don't care if this _is_ what happens to him. We have to get him out of there."

"But what about the vase?"

"Hey, who's talking over there?" Doofenshmirtz turned around curiously. Although he could not see Team Improbable, the cloaking devices did not block out noises.

"Good grief." Phineas said, as they all turned off their cloaking devices and revealed themselves to Doofenshmirtz.

"Intruders! Don't you know it's rude to intrude on someone's evil pl-hey, why are you guys dressed up like an Anime show?"

"Anime show?" Buford turned to Phineas. "What's he talking about?"

"Nevermind. Evil doer, we are Team Improbable! We're here to stop your evil scheme!"

"Team Improbable? What's that? Like, a glee club or something?"

"No, we're superheroes. And we're hearing to take that vase back and return it to its rightful owner. While we're at it, we'll also be freeing that platypus!"

"Hey, you leave the platypus out of it. My nemesis and I are in the middle of a heated..." He turned to face the cage in which Perry laid trapped in, only to be surprised when he saw a regular old platypus there instead. "Hey, where's Perry the Platypus?"

"His nemesis is a platypus named Perry?" Isabella asked, quite confused. "Sheesh, you'd think some people would come up with original names for their pets."

"Well, I don't know how Perry the Platypus escaped, but you're not my nemesis. I can't keep a harmless platypus locked up like this. It's not in my nature. I'm evil, not cruel."

"Then we'll free him for you. Where's the key?"

"In that cage over there." Doofenshmirtz pointed in the direction of the cage that held the key.

"So you locked the key to the cage in another cage?"

"Yep."

"And where's _that_ key?"

"Right now, it's in my small intestine."

"You mean to tell us that you consumed a metal key whole?" Baljeet questioned.

"That's right."

"Wow. That is hardcore, man." Buford responded. "Oh well. No more talk! FIGHT NOW!" Buford shouted as he let out an extremely loud, almost ear-deafening belch in Doofenshmirtz's direction, knocking him towards the wall and damaging his -inator. The vase, however, remained without a scratch. Doofenshmirtz was devastated upon getting back on his feet.

"No! My Anything-To-Gold-inator! It's ruined!" He ran over to it and wailed in horror.

"Anything-To-Gold? Wait a minute! So was all of this just a silly get-rich-quick scheme?" Phineas asked him.

"Well, to be fair, I'm not exactly sure "quick" is the right word. I mean, I blasted my brother, Roger's suit and all I got was six dollars, forty cents, and a bus token."

"Roger? As in Roger Doofenshmirtz?"

"See, I told you guys we passed him on the way." Isabella shouted.

"Well, now that that's cleared up, I guess all those "Four more years!" chants make sense."

"Glad they make sense to you, kid. But now I'm mad!" He took out a tiny remote and pressed the button. Before they knew it, Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella found themselves trapped to the floor. Phineas, however, moved out of the way in time, and by then, Ferb had sneaked over to the cage. "And I'm going to have to take it out on...hey, didn't you have two more members of your glee club?"

"We're not a glee club."

"And besides, we're over here!" Phineas shouted, getting Doofenshmirtz's attention.

"H-H-How did you get over there?"

"Well, Ferb Guy snuck away while you were conversing with our friends, and I have the power to be everywhere at once. So I avoided your little trap before I got stuck to the floor. And now, we're freeing this platypus from his cage."

Doofenshmirtz scoffed, completely unaware that it was still Perry in the cage. "Lot of good that will do ya." But once the door flew open, Perry leaped into action. He slapped his fedora on and started beating Doofenshmirtz up without mercy. The friends were all amazed and somewhat shocked at this discovery. They couldn't think of any words to say as they watched Perry completely overpower Doofenshmirtz. "OK, OK! Uncle! Uncle!" He shouted, admitting defeat. Perry ended it by tying Doofenshmirtz hands and feet behind his back. "O-OK, now this is going to be a problem when the key wants to come out."

Perry ignored that comment as Ferb proceeded to dismantle the friends' locks and free them. "Perry, is that really you?" Isabella asked.

"You're a superhero too?" Buford also asked. "Dude, that is so cool!"

"Cool? Are you serious?" Baljeet shouted, obviously still in shock. "How can you think such a thought? Phineas's pet platypus, whom we all assumed was a mindless animal with no intelligence of his own, just displayed an excellent, yet unspectacular knowledge of martial arts and defeated a pharmacist and all you can say is "cool"?"

"A-Actually, I'm not a pharmacist." Doofenshmirtz interrupted.

"Relax, man. All I said was that it's cool."

"And all I am saying is that it is NOT cool! Not in the least!"

While Buford and Baljeet argued, Perry got Phineas's attention and talked him into one of his plans. "Hey guys." Phineas shouted to get their attention. "Perry wants to take a picture of us to remember this occasion." Though it was a bit far-fetched, everyone agreed to it. So they all huddled together and smiled, while Perry took out what appeared to be a pen. As he wore shades, much to everyone's confusion, Perry snapped the "photo", instead erasing everybody's (excluding his) memories of the day's events. During the brief period of stalemate where everybody was simply trying to get their vision back, Perry rushed back to the -inator and handed Phineas the vase, and then he took off for him.

Once everyone came back to, they had absolutely no recollection of the day's activities. Ironically enough, their transformations into Team Improbable also wore off. "Hey, where are we?" Phineas asked.

"I feel as though I was just in the middle of an argument with Buford." Baljeet said.

"Weird. I feel like I just finished up a battle with an evil pharmacist." Isabella said. She then noticed the vase. "Hey, what's that?"

"Huh?" Phineas too noticed the vase. "This? Hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think I've ever seen it before in my life."

"Looks like an old vase." Buford said.

"Agreed. In fact, it looks like one from the 18th century." Baljeet added. "From the looks of the markings, and of the texture, this vase would garner a lot of money on the open market in today's economy."

"_Told ya_!" Vanessa could be heard shouting from the other room.

"Definitely looks valuable. Maybe we should ask Dad. I'm sure he would know." Phineas suggested.

"Oh yes. If there is anyone who would know about ancient artifacts, it would be Father." Ferb agreed. With that, the kids all left the room and headed back for home, leaving Doofenshmirtz all tied up...and in need of a potty break.

"Uh oh." He said as he felt his stomach gurgle. "The key is coming back up. Oh boy, I'm going to need some prunes."

**End of Episode 61a!**

**Wow! You wouldn't believe this, but I literally wrote the 2nd half of this chapter in less than an hour. It was so much fun. Hope you guys like reading it as much as I liked writing it. Oh, and for clarification, Phineas still remembers that Perry is a secret agent. He simply doesn't remember the Team Improbable events, and neither do his friends.**


	77. 61b: Baby Come Back

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 61b: Baby Come Back**

**Episode Summary****************:************************ An experiment gone wrong results in Phineas and Ferb being turned into babies. But after they find a way to reverse it, Phineas disappears and the gang must race to find him and change him back. Conversely, Doofenshmirtz creates an -inator that can alter the age of its target to whatever he wishes, and plans to use it to render Mayor Roger useless.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb were in the backyard, working with their chemistry set. Their friends, Buford and Baljeet, joined them soon after.

"Hello friends." Baljeet said cheerily. "What are you doing today?"

"We're playing with our chemistry set, and we believe that we've come up with a way to alter our inner age."

"That is completely impossible." Baljeet protested. "You cannot interfere with the biological aging process."

"Oh don't be such a fuddy-duddy, nerd." Buford said to Baljeet. "Doesn't it rattle your mind to want to be an adult? You know, and hang out with other adults who are just as smart as you?"

Baljeet pondered over this thought for a moment. The thought did intrigue him. "Perhaps there would be some benefits to advancing your biological age."

"Now just to make sure we got this right, Ferb and I are going to test it first just to make sure it works. In the unlikely event that it doesn't, Baljeet, we'll need you to reverse engineer our potion and whip up an antidote."

"Hey, why does he get to play with all the sciency stuff?" Buford asked, clearly offended.

"Because first of all, "sciency" isn't a word. And second of all, you're the guy that loves to smash stuff." Phineas pointed out.

"Point taken."

"OK, then. Bottoms up, Ferb!" Phineas and Ferb both drank their formulas in one big gulp. But, instead of advancing their age like they had hoped, the formulas instead turned Phineas and Ferb into toddlers. As quickly as the formulas had been consumed, their bodies changed dramatically, leaving the two boys as young babies.

"Holy Hindu!" Baljeet shouted. "Phineas and Ferb have turned into babies!" Baljeet turned to Buford. "Buford! What do we do?"

"You heard what Phineas said. I'm just the guy that smashes stuff."

"Ugh. Buford, why is it that you are never helpful in life-threatening situations?"

"I'm not good under pressure! OK, short stuff?"

Their arguing was interrupted when they heard the sounds of Phineas and Ferb crying. "Do you see what you have done, Buford?" Baljeet picked up Ferb and held him as he tried to figure out how to make him stop crying. "They are crying because of our yelling!"

"I told you I'm not good under pressure!"

"Wait! Buford, where is Perry?"

* * *

Perry was on his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. He had received his mission earlier.

_(Cue Flashback)_

_"Good morning, Agent P." Monogram said on the screen to his agent. "I hope you had a good breakfast this morning, because I need you to be completely focused today. Dr. Doofenshmirtz has a doozy of a scheme cooked up. Our sources tell us that Doofenshmirtz has refurbished his old Age-Accelerator-inator and is planning to blast mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz with it to make him too weak and old to continue his duties." There was snickering in the background. "What is it, Carl?" Monogram sighed._

_"You said "duties", sir."_

_"Grow up, Carl." Monogram turned back to Perry. "So, you know the drill, Agent P. Go stop him so our mayor can..." Monogram suddenly found himself chuckling. "So he can..." And then it turned into a light chortle. "He can continues his...his DUTIES!" And then it turned into outright hysterical laughter. "OH, you're right, Carl! That **is** funny! A ha ha ha!"_

_"Told you, sir."_

_(End Flashback)_

Perry arrived at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated and found himself tied to the wall before he knew it. "Perry the Platypus, what a nice surprise." Doofenshmirtz was holding a large water gun-like toy in his hand. He approached Perry evilly with his daughter, Vanessa, and Norm standing beside her. "Behold. It's my Age-Accelerator-inator-2.0...inator. Now you're probably asking "But Doof, you've already used your Age-Accelerator-inator before". And the answer: you're right. But, if you recall, I only used it for cheese-loving purposes. (**A/N: Lights, Candace, Action!**) This time, I'm using it for evil."

"I've fixed it up so now, it doesn't just age its target 58 1/2 years like the last one did. Now I can alter the age of its target to whatever number I desire. So, effectively, I can make the oldest of people back babies again and the youngest of infants into frail and fragile elders. Speaking of frail and fragile, you know that old saying that youngsters must "respect their elders"? Well, I don't buy it. In fact, I think youngsters today have even less respect for the elders than they do the younger ones. I-It's sad, really. But that plays in perfectly in my plan today. You see, I'm going to use my Age-Accelerator-inator-2.0-inator to blast Roger Doofenshmirtz into a being so old and so fragile that he would be run out of office before you can say "She sells she-sh seashells b-by the shee-sho...sh...n-never mind. Man, that really is hard to say. But you get the picture."

"And here. I'll give you a demonstration." He turned the device and pointed it at himself. "You see, Perry the Platypus. This thing changes the biological age of its target, not the chronological age, which, as of this morning, I've learned are two completely different things, and with that knowledge, I have more free will to manipulate the human body as I please. So, I'll set this thing to advance my biological age 15 years. And..." He pulled the trigger and zapped himself. But, instead of turning him into an old, frail person as Doofenshmirtz had planned, in his place laid a tombstone and a casket with Doofenshmirtz buried in it.

"DAD!" Panicking, Vanessa rushed over, grabbed the device, hit the RESET button, and blasted Doofenshmirtz again, restoring him back to what he was beforehand. "Dad, are you OK?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine." Doofenshmirtz rubbed his temples. "It-It's so strange. I just had the weirdest dream that I was buried in a casket."

"It wasn't a dream, Dad. There was this tombstone a-and you were buried inside a casket, a-and...d-don't scare me like that again."

"Oh Vanessa, don't worry. It was just a malfunction."

"Yeah, but...wait, what?"

"Yeah. There's no reason why I would be buried within the next 15 years. I'm in great health!"

"No you're not!" Norm remarked.

"Nobody asked you! Anyway, it's pretty obvious it was just a malfunction. Guess I'll have to re-calibrate this." Doofenshmirtz went into the other room to try and figure out what was wrong.

* * *

Meanwhile, Baljeet had just finished reverse engineering an antidote to the potion Phineas & Ferb had whipped. "There. It is finished." Buford was in charge of watching over Phineas & Ferb. Unfortunately, he was distracted by something Ferb was doing. "Buford, I have completed the...BUFORD! Where is Phineas!"

"Huh? Isn't he sitting over there?" Buford looked up and pointed in the direction he thought Phineas was sitting in. Unfortunately, he was wrong. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh? You neglected to watch over perhaps the second smartest person on this block and all you have to say is 'Uh oh'?"

"What? I was distracted?"

"And what exotic, scientific action from Ferb was keeping you from your responsibility as temporary babysitter?"

"He was playing with a yo-yo."

Baljeet sighed as he got Ferb to drink the antidote. Sure enough, within seconds, Ferb returned to his original age. "Ferb! You have returned!"

"Did I go somewhere?" He asked.

"I will explain later. But now we must hurry and find Phineas."

Little did they know that Phineas had walked all the way across the street to Isabella's house. He knocked on the door with his rattle and then plopped himself on the ground waiting for someone to answer. Eventually, Isabella did answer the door. Despite being in possession of dozens of baby pictures of Phineas, she was unable to recognize him at the door, even after he gave off a smile and shook his rattle.

"Awwww!" She squealed cutely as she picked Phineas up and held him. "How cute!" She gushed over Phineas's cuteness, completely unaware that she was holding her future husband.

"What is it?" Vivian, Isabella's mother, asked approaching the door. She immediately noticed baby Phineas babbling in Isabella's arms and recognized him, something Isabella did not. "Oh, isn't that cute?"

"Someone left this innocent, adorable little baby on our doorstep. What kind of cruel, unkind people could just abandon a baby like this?"

"Um, Isa? You do know that's-"

"I mean, it's just inhuman! Babies shouldn't be abandoned like this. This little guy needs a home of his own. But don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of him until we can find him a home." She tickled him under his chin which caused him to laugh. "Yes I will! Yes I will!"

Vivian contemplated trying to tell her daughter that she was actually holding Phineas. In the end, though, she decided to let Isabella figure it out for herself.

"Come on, little guy! Let's go play! Mom, you start making phone calls!" Isabella ordered as she ran upstairs to play with Phineas. Vivian, meanwhile, ignored her daughter's order and went back to reading the newspaper.

Upstairs, Isabella found herself falling in love with the baby she had no idea was Phineas. They played all sorts of games such as peek-a-boo, hide and seek, and tickle fight. Phineas found himself laughing the entire time and Isabella found herself infatuated with the little baby she had no idea was Phineas. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe how adorable you are!" She pinched his cheeks and got him to laugh again. "You remind me so much of my boyfriend, Phineas. You're cute, you're playful, you want to have fun all the time. Oh, he would fall in love with you just as quickly as I did!"

Phineas giggled and clapped his little hands together as she basked in his cuteness. But as quickly as he started, he stopped. "Uh oh!" He said as he dropped his hands to his side.

"What's the matter, little guy?" Phineas couldn't muster up the ability to speak actual words, but his groaning and whining gave Isabella a good idea of what was happening. She gasped. "Does someone need a change?" He whined some more as he furiously nodded his head. "Don't worry, little guy, I'm sure we have some diapers here somewhere. Mom never throws any baby stuff out. It's kinda weird."

Sure enough, they did have some diapers left over. Isabella changed Phineas's diaper and before they knew it, the accident was a thing of the past. But as Isabella found herself raring to play with baby Phineas again, Phineas found himself yawning loudly. "Oh, what's the matter, my little angel? Are you tired?" He gave a weak nod. "Then let's put you down for a little nap. Would you like that?"

Though he couldn't answer with real words, his giggles and clapping made the answer perfectly clear to Isabella. "OK, nap time it is." She brought him back to her room and tucked him under her blankets. Within seconds of her giving him a stuffed teddy bear to cuddle with, he fell asleep. She felt that the baby wouldn't need any supervision while sleeping, yet she couldn't find it in her to leave his side.

* * *

Doofenshmirtz, meanwhile, was ready to test his new toy. "Now that I have re-calibreated my Age-Accelerator-inator-2.0-inator, it's time to put Roger in his place...in a retirement home! A ha ha ha ha!" He took aim outside, and aimed his weapon at Roger as he gave a press conference right in front of City Hall. "Steady now. I must aim my -inator precisely. I cannot have any distraction. I need absolute silence..."

"SIR!" Yelled Norm loud enough to catch Doofenshmirtz off-guard and alter his aim.

The new target was an innocent bystander - a woman in her late 20's. Once the ray hit her, she turned into a 90-year old frail, bitter old lady. "I remember when a quarter used to cost a penny." She babbled.

"Norm!" Doofenshmirtz yelled at his bubbling robot. "Your yelling caught me off-guard and I missed my target! OH well, at least I know it works now. Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Norm silently stood there for a moment before speaking up again. "I forget."

"Of course you do." Doofenshmirtz turned back to his -inator and re-aimed it at Roger. He pulled the trigger and blasted Roger with it. The results were exactly as Doofenshmirtz drew them up. Roger was transformed into a very skinny, fragile, bony, weak 95-year old man.

"Friends, colleagues, esteemed voters..." He stuttered, struggling to simply stand. "I come to you..." Roger did not realize that he had been transformed into an old person until he looked down and took notice of his bony hands. "W-What's happened to me?" Many of the onlookers stood in stunned silence. "I-I don't know what to say."

Neither did the citizens of Danville. Until one brave soul finally spoke up. "Our mayor is an old man who is clearly too fragile and old to continue his duties as our leader!"

"Yes! Yes!" Doofenshmirtz shouted from his lair.

"What do we do now?" One citizen asked.

"Not to worry, citizens." Roger said in an extremely hoarse, weak voice. "I may be too weak to carry out my duties as mayor, but I know somebody who can."

"Here it comes..."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my proud distinction to announce that I am stepping down as mayor..." Immediately negative reaction was met. People either screamed or cursed at Roger. "and turning things over to someone who is clearly less wrinkly and more competent to run the city - hopefully - as well, if not better than I ever did. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present the newest mayor of Danville..."

"This is it...!"

"Charlene Doofenshmirtz!"

"See, I told you...CHARLENE DOOFENSHMIRTZ! OH NO! THIS IS A DISASTER!"

"Why? She's your ex-wife. Maybe you could smooth talk her into giving you control of Danville." Vanessa said sarcastically.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because she's _your_ mother. Which means she's too stubborn to be talked out of anything. No, this calls for some _drastic_ measures."

"You mean, like, reversing your Age-inator thing to restore your brother to his original age and effectively making him Mayor of Danville again?"

"Vanessa, please. This is no time for insanity talk. We have a crisis on our hands."

* * *

Buford and Baljeet continued searching frantically for baby Phineas. They searched nearly the entire block and were now on Irving home. They hoped that he would have some answers to Phineas' whereabouts.

"Hi, guys! What brings you here?" Irving asked. He was clearly unaware of what has occurred throughout the course of the day.

"Irving! We have an emergency on our hands!" Baljeet exclaimed. "Phineas is missing _and_ he is a baby?"

"Phineas is a baby? What are you guys talking about?"

"I realize under the circumstances that explanation is difficult to believe, but it is the truth."

"I don't know about him being an infant, but if you can't find Phineas, I have just the thing for you. Come inside." He led them into the house and towards his room, where he proceeded to show them his room, filled with equipment dedicated solely to Phineas and Ferb. "I call it the 'Phineas and Ferb Super Lair'."

"I will never be able to unsee any of this." Buford remarked.

"I have a Phineas and Ferb GPS system in my computer. It'll tell us where Phineas is no matter where he is on the globe."

"Irving, he is a mere infant. Where could he possibly be other than this block?" Baljeet inquired. Irving proceeded to play around with his computer and within seconds, they had their answer as to where Phineas was.

"A ha! According to my Phineas and Ferb Tracker, Phineas is...at Isabella's house?"

"Isabella's house? What would he be doing there?"

"The real question is 'How did we not figure this out sooner'?" Buford asked. "I mean, in hindsight, it was pretty obvious."

"Hindsight _is _only 20/20." Baljeet pointed out.

"This is no time to play with numbers. We gotta rescue that drooling, dribbling little punk!"

"Just to be clear, that _is_ still my brother you are referring to." Ferb piped up.

Speaking of Phineas, he was waking up from his little nap and as he was, his tiny eyes caught vision of Isabella staring at him from the edge of the bed. "Good morning, sunshine!" She squealed. He responded with a giggle. He opened his eyes up fully and sat up. "Did you have a nice nap?" Again, he responded with giggling. "Now what do you wanna do?" He babbled incoherently to her, trying to say that he wanted to go play outside. But she couldn't understand him. "Do you want to do some coloring?" The idea of coloring intrigued him and he responded with loud laughter and rapid clapping. "OK, I'll go get some crayons and some paper. Oh, I wish Phineas were here. He'd want to be your daddy right now."

She left the room in a hurry, leaving the infant alone with his thoughts. It was at that point that it had finally dawned on him that Isabella had no idea who he was. Determined to show her the light, he jumped off the bed and raced towards her closet, prompting it open and searching through. He came across Isabella's diary and started flipping through the pages, looking for a baby photo of him. Finally, he found one near the end of the diary and pulled it out, just in time as well; Isabella was returning from her venture for coloring utensils.

"I'm back!" She shouted, holding a bunch of pieces of paper and crayons. Phineas turned around and jumped up and down several times, holding the picture in front of her in an effort to get her attention. "What's that you got there?" She put the stuff down and took the picture from his hands and studied it carefully. "Aw, you found a baby picture of my boyfriend, Phineas. He was SO cute back then. Who am I kidding? He STILL is!"

While she was rambling on, it baffled Phineas that despite the picture resembling his current form exactly to the freckle, she could not put 2 and 2 together and come to the conclusion that Phineas was right in front of her. He tried to make noises and get her attention. "What's the matter? Do you gotta go potty again?" He shook his head furiously. "Are you hungry?" Again head shakes. "Then what's wrong?"

Frustrated at this point, he grabbed a piece of paper and some crayons and started writing a message. When he was finished, he held up the piece of paper, which said "I'm Phineas!" In big, bold, blue letters. It was clear as day and yet Isabella _still _could not put it together. "I'm...Phineas..." She read the message slowly and surely to herself to make sure she was reading it right. But, instead of actually studying the context of the message, she found it overly cute that he was able to write such a message. "Hey, my boyfriend's name is Phineas, too! Wait a minute..." She gasped. "Oh my gosh! You can write? This is great! I gotta show this to my mom!"

She grabbed the paper and ran downstairs, leaving Phineas by himself again. By now, Phineas was totally perplexed at what was happening. So, he followed Isabella down the stairs, and then he strayed the front door and then took off running. When Isabella turned around she caught a glimpse of him running away, and ran after him. "Little guy, come back!"

* * *

When Charlene moments around from being instated as the Mayor of Danville, Doofenshmirtz had to think quickly. The only thing that was worse than his brother, Roger, being the Mayor was his ex-wife, Charlene, being the Mayor.

"Dad, I'm telling you, the best solution is to just make Uncle Roger the Mayor again." Vanessa again suggested.

"And I'm telling _you_, Vanessa, that I'll make him the Mayor when pigs fly!" Doofenshmirtz retorted.

"What is the big deal?"

"Vanessa, I have worked tirelessly for years to remove Roger from office and now that I've effectively done that, I'm not going back!"

"So you're saying you'd be OK with your ex-wife being Mayor?"

"I didn't say that, either."

"Well you're gonna have to make up your mind sooner rather than later. The coronation is going to take place in approximately 3 minutes." Norm remarked, directing their attention out towards City Hall, where the coronation was set to take place.

"What? 3 minutes? Oh, great."

"Would you like me to reverse your Age-Accelerator thingy for you?"

"OK, first of all, it's called the Age-Accelerator-inator-2.0-inator. If you're going to refer to my inventions by name, get 'em right. Second of all, I don't want you touching any of my stuff. If anybody's going to touch my things, it'll be me, and I haven't fully committed to doing it yet."

"Looks like Perry has." Vanessa said, noting that Perry had long escaped from his trap and was disassembling it.

"Perry the Platypus! He's escaped! And you're just standing there doing nothing!"

"I told you before, Dad. I've decided not to get involved with your little battles with Perry anymore."

"Then why did you come over in the first place?"

"I was bored."

"OK the-" Before he could get another word in edge-wise, Doofenshmirtz found himself punched in the face and falling to the ground. "OW! Perry the Platypus, you know it is rude to interrupt someone while they're having a conversation." Perry ignored him and hit him several more times before deciding to step away and push the "Self-Destruct" button that was on the machine and get the heck out of there. "Oh, great. And of course he pushed the Self-Destruct button. What else could go wrong?"

"_Self-Destruct sequence activated. Self-destruction is...now_."

"Wait, wha..."

Doofenshmirtz's -inator quickly exploded, and as a result of it exploding, Mayor Doofenshmirtz and everybody else hit by it was restored to their original age. Thus, Roger reclaimed his position as mayor, and Doofenshmirtz was once again left hung to dry. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus! And, Charlene, too, to a much lesser extent!"

* * *

Back on Maple Drive, baby Phineas had made his way towards Irving's house and had met up with the others. "Hey, looks! Here he comes now!" Irving shouted. Meanwhile, Phineas didn't stop smiling the entire way there. "He looks awfully happy."

"He's always happy." Buford said.

"Well that surely saved us the trip. But what about Isabella?" Baljeet inquired, and quickly, his question was answered when they all saw her running towards them as well.

"Hey guys!" She shouted towards them. "Can you help me?" She asked as she arrived. "This little guy was dropped off at my doorstep and I'm trying to find him a nice home. I mean, look at him." She picked him up in her arms. He responded with clapping and giggling. "Who wouldn't want to take care of such a little angel?" She pulled him close to him and played with him. "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Um, Isabella, there is something you should know."

"What?"

"You're holding lover boy in your arms, girl." Buford responded bluntly.

"You mean Phineas? No I'm not. I haven't seen Phineas all day."

"But you are." Ferb confirmed. "The two of us accidentally morphed into infants and he snuck off to find you, apparently."

"You guys are crazy. This isn't Phineas. I think I would be able to recognize my own boyfriend if he were suddenly turned into a baby, wouldn't I? I mean, I have baby photos of him all over my house. I mean..." Slowly but surely, it started to sink in for her. She took one long look at the baby she was holding in her arms. Phineas responded by babbling and waving at her. "P-Phineas?" He nodded his head and giggled. "w-What happened?"

"I told you. We accidentally turned into babies when one of our experiments went wrong, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute." Irving interrupted. "You have baby photos of Phineas in your house? Huh. Wow, that's whack."

"And you still could not recognize him?" Baljeet asked.

"Well, um..."

"I'm starting to think that Phineas was not the problem in your "relationship"." He emphasized the last word.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing. I am merely suggesting that you exaggerated his obliviousness to the point of delusion and that is what caused you to be immature and run away."

"Excuse me? I'm immature? Look who's talking you-"

"As much as I love a good cat fight, we do have matters to tend to." Ferb interrupted, holding a vial of antidote. He walked over to Phineas and had him drink it. He did not hesitate, and it took no longer than five seconds for Phineas to return to his normal, preteen state. "There. Back to normal."

"Hey, I'm not a baby anymore." Phineas exclaimed happily.

"Thank goodness." Isabella said. "Things were starting to get really weird for me."

"By that, do you refer to your realization that your immaturity was your own downfall or that you were unable to put 2 and 2 together and realize that the infant you were caring for was in fact your so-called "boyfriend"?" Baljeet inquired again, irritating Isabella as he, Buford, and Irving went in one direction together.

"You know, guys. I think I'm starting to like Irving more than Baljeet." Isabella said to Phineas and Ferb.

"That makes two of us." Ferb responded. "Although, in fairness to him, that doesn't mean he was wrong." Ferb's statement left Isabella perplexed, and with more questions than answers.

* * *

**During the Credits...**

After Doofenshmirtz's bout with time and at Vanessa's request, Doofenshmirtz decided to pay a little visit to Dr. Hartman.

"I don't know, Dr. Hartman. My daughter asked me to come see you and run some tests. She thinks I'm in poor health, but for the life of me I can't understand why. Y-You see when I zapped myself with my Age-Accelerator-inator-2.0-inator, I tried to advance my biological age 15 years and instead I ended up as a tombstone buried underground. I wonder what that could mean."

"I have no idea what you just said, but I'll tell you one thing. Your daughter's right."

"Right about what?"

"You _are_ in poor health!"

"What do you mean?"

"Heinz, I'll try and make this as simple as possible. You've exploded approximately 126 times - and that's in this year alone - you've sustained injuries you claim you've suffered from an animated platypus when everybody knows they don't do diddly squat, you also recently had a kidney transplant...oh, and to top it all off, you're 10 pounds overweight!"

"I am?" Doofenshmirtz lifted up his shirt and confirmed the doctor's claim. "Man, I just can't seem to lose those last 10 pounds! Well, that explains everything then!"

**End of Episode 61b!**

**And...done! There. I literally just spent an hour and a half writing the final 2500+ words of this chapter. I was really committed to finishing this chapter tonight. Why? Because tomorrow morning, I start college! That's right. Tuesday, September 4th, I officially begin college. In retrospect to my stories, don't expect frequent updates for a while. I'll try and hammer them out as quickly as I can but can't guarantee anything. Until then reviews are greatly appreciated.**

**A/N: Can you guess which PnF episode I'm referencing with that whole "10 pounds overweight" line? **


	78. 62a: Phineas & Ferb Inc

** Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 62a: ************************************************Phineas & Ferb Inc**

**Episode Summary********************************************: Phineas and Ferb start their own company that specializes in personal services, such as lawn-mowing, . But all goes wrong when someone takes the activity a little too seriously. Meanwhile, after Doofenshmirtz is robbed, he installs his very own security system, but it does him little good after he is robbed again and Perry is of little help.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The entire Flynn-Fletcher family was busy doing chores around the house. Linda wanted to have the house sparkling clean for the impending arrival of Grandpa Clyde and Grandma Betty Jo. While Phineas and Ferb preferred to be building something, they would not reveal their discontent to anyone in the family. Finally, when they finished with the chores, everyone was rewarding with a big lunch.

"I just wanted to thank you guys for all your hard work." Linda said once lunch was served. "It really means a lot for me to have my parents walk through the front door to a clean house."

"Mom, how come it's such a big deal for you to welcome in Grandma and Grandpa to a spotless house?" Phineas asked.

"Phineas, you get to a certain age where you realize just how much your parents meant to you. Then when you have a place of your own and they come to visit, you feel like you have a duty to provide them with a clean environment to visit you in, just like they did for you for so many years. Besides, it just feels nice to be able to do something nice for someone else without asking for anything in return."

"Just like I like to do."

"Exactly."

"You know, it's great to help out family when they need it. But, we're not the only ones in town. I bet everywhere in town, everyone has something that they need help with."

"What exactly are you suggesting?"

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We better get started. Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

"Good morning, Agent P. We've been monitoring Doofenshmirtz's activity, and we've made a shocking discovery. It seems that our little friend has installed his very own security system. He's made it much tougher for you to simply break into his lair, let alone stop his evil scheme."

"_Didn't Agent P once defeat one of Doofenshmirtz's security systems?_" Carl asked off-screen.

"Oh please, Carl! Compared to this thing, that security system was a giant, fluffy bunny! Agent P, you must exercise extreme caution. There's no telling what could happen if you fail to make it past his devilish security system. Good luck, Agent P."

Agent P saluted and went on his way. When he arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, he indeed encountered Doofenshmirtz's new security system. Unfortunately, it was far from the "devilish" thing Monogram thought it was. It turned out that Doofenshmirtz's new security system was just Norm wearing a ninja mask.

"Good morning, Perry." Norm said casually. "The boss is right inside." He opened the door for Perry, where he quickly found himself inside a cage.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus. I see you ran into my _useless_ security system..."

"Hello, sir!"

"Sorry about that, Perry. You see, last week, I came home and discovered that my scooter had been stolen. My car! Can you believe it? So anyway, I didn't want to risk anything else in my lair being stolen, so I bought one of those high-fancy security systems - you know, the ones that have laser beams that shoot out of the cameras when an intruder is passing by. I was going to use it to keep out any intruders...and my ex-wife. Unfortunately, it didn't really work at all. The lasers malfunctioned, the cameras were 3rd-rate pieces of junks, and worst of all, Norm completely blew up and I had to rebuild him. And I really mean I "had" to rebuild him because my original head for Norm wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

"_You're the one that decided to take the plunge in the first place. I just gave you a little push."_ The sarcastic Norm head said from the other room.

"Now I remember why I never wanted to install him in the first place. So, eventually I decided to try and use Norm as my security system. But, it's been 10 minutes and I'm already regretting it. So, I am now working on a totally new security system. I'll call it the "Don't-Touch-My-Stuff-inator!" Yeah, it's gonna be totally awesome. It's gonna shoot really big lasers. And-and speak in this really cool robotic voice when there's an intruder. Y-You'll see!" Doofenshmirtz immediately got to work on his new -inator, leaving Perry alone with his thoughts.

"So..." Norm said to Perry in an effort to break the awkward silence. "Have you seen the new version of Jane Eyre yet? It's really good."

* * *

By the time Phineas and Ferb had ceased building, there was a 50-story tall building in the backyard, and Phineas & Ferb were in corporate business suits, much to the surprise of their friends. "Hi, guys!" Isabella said positively before she started questioning them. "What's with the suits?"

"We've decided to start up our very own business." Phineas explained.

"What kind of business?"

"A business dedicated to helping everyone in town with everyday chores, such as grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, painting the house..."

"Our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request." Ferb continued.

"Why do I feel like I've heard that before?" Buford asked. (**A/N: Hint. SpongeBob**)

"But Phineas, we're only 5 kids-"

"Six!" Came the familiar voice in Irving, sneaking up on everybody to their discontent.

"-how can we possibly help everybody in town? No offense, but I don't think we're exactly equipped to take that kind of abuse."

"Don't worry. Ferb and I have thought ahead. Follow us inside." Phineas and Ferb led their friends into the building. The inside looked exactly like any other multi-billion dollar industry headquarters would. Elevators, staircases, board rooms galore. "The elevator's this way. We're headed to the top floor." The kids all piled in; Buford was the last one to step in but was stopped by Phineas. "Sorry, Buford. We have a strict 4 persons per elevator limit here and Phineas & Ferb Inc."

"What? We're the only ones here, dilweed!"

"Sorry, Buford. It's policy."

"Fine, I'll just wait for the next one!" So he did. The next one came and Buford stepped on, not realizing that the man he was sharing the elevator with was Donald Trump. When the elevator opened at the top floor, Buford stepped out, but Donald Trump stayed in. "Hey, buddy! This is the top floor! Nowhere to go but down from here!"

"Such an amateurish answer." He responded, as the doors closed and the elevator returned to the bottom floor. Confused, Buford returned to his friends.

"Gentlemen - and future wife - Ferb and I are proud to present the latest breakthrough in labor management technology!" The boys were standing in front of a curtain that blocked off half of the room. "We present..." The pulled the curtains back to reveal a large assembly line consisting of Phinedroids and Ferbots. "Phinedroids and Ferbots! Please, no need for applause." Phineas stood in silence for a moment, expecting applause, and instead he was awarded with awkward silence. "Seriously, guys. You can start applauding anytime."

"Why? What is so special about robot replicas about yourself?" Baljeet questioned.

"I think we weren't in that episode." Buford pointed out.

"I think he's right. You might want to fill us in on this." Isabella agreed.

"Don't worry. We've prepared a little video tribute for our little friends from our last adventure." A TV screen was slowly lowered to the ground. Ferb inserted a DVD into the DVD Player and sat back - only to discover that the DVD was not of one recalling their past adventure with the Phinedroids and Ferbots. Instead, it was an old Tom & Jerry cartoon. "Dude. Really?"

"What?"

"Never mind." Phineas proceeded to shut the DVD off. "In a condensed version, we created robot versions of ourselves in order to fulfill more of our super awesome summer projects. Unfortunately, they took all the fun away, and they malfunctioned after they drank too much coffee."

"Why did you give your robots coffee?"

"We didn't. They manufactured the coffee themselves. Eventually they were carried off by Santa Claus in his sleigh." The friends merely looked on, confused. "Never mind. Anyway, we've reprogrammed the robots to do exactly what we say. We gave them a new "paper-command" system to abide by; all you have to do is feed them a small piece of paper with the desired chore on it and they'll perform that chore. No questions asked. We'll demonstrate." Phineas took out a piece of paper that read "fetch Phineas a chocolate chip cookie."

Phineas inserted the piece of paper into the tiny slot that was built into the Phinedroid's chest. It took a moment for it to register for the Phinedroid. But, once it did, the robot was off and running, and it came back seconds later with a chocolate chip cookie and handed it to Phineas. The friends "ooh'd" simultaneously. Phineas took the cookie and ate it. "Thanks, Phinedroid."

"Hey!" Ferb raised his voice, slightly offended.

"Oh calm down, brother of mine." Phineas took out another piece of paper that said "fetch Ferb a chocolate chip cookie." "I didn't forget you."

"Well that's great and all but I prefer oatmeal."

"Don't be picky."

"So those things can do anything?" Isabella interrupted.

"Sure can. And it's a good thing too because we're getting a lot of orders from people all over the Tri-State Area. Let's get to work!"

The friends joined in a simultaneous cheer and immediately got to work filling out orders for the robots to carry out. The orders ranged from simple tasks such as mowing lawns or doing some light grocery shopping to more difficult tasks such as assistance in helping a family move, construction on a new building, and even tutoring young kids for summer school.

* * *

One project, in particular, saw some Phinedroids and Ferbots be sent to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated in order to help him build his new security system. There was a knock at the door; Doofenshmirtz answered it to find the Phinedroids and Ferbots standing there. Doofenshmirtz appeared confused, and even more so when the robots walked in uninvited.

"What the..." Doofenshmirtz said. "What is this? I didn't order any robots! I ordered workers. This is..." During his rant, the robots quickly built the hi-tech security system Doofenshmirtz wanted. It came complete with state-of-the-art high-definition cameras that could easily detect any oncoming enemy from a mile away, an emergency alert system that would immediately tell Doofenshmirtz if an enemy got within 100 feet of his lair in all directions, and a souped-up laser system that would automatically activate once an enemy infiltrated the security system.

At first, Doofenshmirtz was annoyed at having robots build his security system. But after doing a full run through of what he had to work with, he was thoroughly impressed with what he had to work with. "Well, would you look at this? I gotta say I'm really impressed. This thing will surely trounce anybody who tries to rob me. Now let me just complete the installation and...DONE! Now let's test it out." He walked over to Perry the Platypus and proceeded to release him from his trap. "Perry the Platypus, be a dear and go outside and then come back in so I can test my new security system."

Perry stood there for a few moments. Unsure of how to respond, Perry stayed motionless until finally decided to just attack Doofenshmirtz, who, as usual, didn't see it coming.

* * *

In the backyard, Phineas and Ferb were busy doing some paperwork in their office. Out of nowhere a Phinedroid and Ferbot showed up, each holding a plate with a sandwich on it. "Thanks guys." Phineas remarked to the robots. When the robots placed the sandwich trays on the desk in front of the boys, Phineas noticed that his sandwich was cut in the shape of a heart. This led him to believe that Isabella had sent the sandwich to him. "Check this out, Ferb. My sandwich is cut in the shape of a heart. Isabella must have sent this to me. Aww! Remind me to thank her later."

Ferb gave Phineas a thumbs up. "So what other appointments do we have?"

"Well, Stacy asked for a robot to attend a college seminar in her place, her mom wants a robot that'll search and seize Stacy and bring her to the seminar, and Irving wants a Phineas and Ferb robot to complete his quote-unquote "Shrine of Phineas and Ferb."

"That's a little weird, but you know our motto. So let's get to it." Phineas and Ferb both got out of their seats and headed to the next room, where the robots were located. There, they inserted their requests and sent the robots on their way. Both felt really proud of the work they were doing; they genuinely believed that they were doing their community a service that they were in desperate need of.

Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to them, it wasn't. In fact, as it quickly turned out, the townsfolk were not very happy with the unfolding events. In fact, they were downright terrified. The majority gathered around City Hall, where Roger Doofenshmirtz was scheduled to hold a press conference to address the issues.

"Citizens of Danville!" He bellowed into his microphone. "It has come to my attention that my beloved city has been invaded by robots!"

"Robots! Robots everywhere!" One bystander shouted. "Th-They barged into my home and started redecorating my home!"

"They unclogged my toilets!" Another one shouted.

"One tried to impersonate my daughter so she could get out of going to an important college seminar!" Mrs. Hirano shouted.

"We requested helpers, not mindless, killing robots!"

"People, please! Calm yourselves! I understand your fright. I, too, have been the victim of these killer robots. Why just this morning, they broke into City Hall and...and..." He started to stutter. "they _PAINTED MY OFFICE_!" He shrieked before breaking down on the ground and crying. It only lasted for a few seconds, though, as he was soon back on his feet. "They painted it! Without my permission!" He quickly regained his composure. "It is painfully clear to me and to all of us that this madness cannot continue! We must stop it at all costs! Luckily, I have recruited someone that is all too familiar to strange and unnatural occurrences. People of Danville, it is my pleasure to introduce our savior to this great tragedy. I present to you...Mr. Cleveland Brown!" (**A/N: How long has it been since I used _him?_)**

The townsfolk quietly broke out into light applause, which, just as quickly, died down, as people began murmuring in confusion. Cleveland took the podium, unimpressed. He turned to Roger.

"You know, I would just like to go on record saying that I find the fact that you have come to me and asked me to do this favor for you _just because_ I am familiar with strange phenomenons from my days in Quahog highly insulting."

"And _I_ would like to go on record saying that I don't give a flying carpet about your personal problems." Roger responded with a straight face. "Look, we're paying you, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then quite whining and go beat up those scary robots!"

Cleveland sighed. "OK, fine. But you guys are all acting like wimps."

Nevertheless, Cleveland agreed to help the citizens of Danville and of the Tri-State Area. So, he drove off, heading towards the home of Phineas and Ferb. On his way, he encountered a group of Phinedroids and Ferbots. They were fixing up some potholes in the middle of the streets. Unfortunately, there were so many of them that they ended up blocking the road. Cleveland attempted to beep his horn. "Come on! Move it!" He shouted. "Move aside so I can destroy you all!"

The robots all turned towards him without responding for a brief moment. But after that moment, they all stepped aside so he could pass. "Thank you." Cleveland hit the gas and sped off, only to get caught in a pothole and end up upside down. "AHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as his car landed. "Doggoneit!" He shouted again as he exited his car forcefully and, with all his strength, turned it back right-side up. Then he continued driving.

When he arrived in front of the Flynn-Fletcher home, he exited the car and took out a suitcase he presumably took with him. Within minutes he had changed from his normal clothing into a black short-sleeved shirt, black bandanna, with black pants, and eye black. He also had with him a samurai short and a shotgun. He took his assignment very seriously.

In fact, he was so serious he managed to psych himself into the mindset of a war veteran with Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder. He screamed at the top of his lungs as he charged towards the backyard. Once he got there, he kicked the door away and barged in. The friends were all in the backyard with a few leftover robots.

"Hey, Mr. Brown. Long time no see." Phineas said optimistically. "You're looking well."

"Enough small talk!" He shouted just like a war veteran. "Bring me the robots."

"Sure thing." Phineas commanded the robots to approach Cleveland. "You need something? They're here to serve you."

"Can you command them to destroy themselves?"

"Well, technically, yeah, but why would we want to? They're designed to help people."

"Well they're not. The whole town is afraid of them."

"What?"

"They all thought they were getting, like, you know, those little things that Santa Clause uses?"

"Elves?"

"Yeah, yeah! Something like that. They didn't expect killer robots."

"They're not killer robots. Honest."

"Sorry, kid. I gotta do what I gotta do." He dropped his gun and held up the sword. "And if these guys really are good at helping out, then they'll try to help themselves. You heard me, robot monsters! Fight me! I dare ya!"

As Cleveland held his pose, the robots began to shake slowly. This prompted Ferb to turn to Phineas. "By the way, I've been meaning to tell you. I think I finally got that "Voice Command" system working."

"Voice command?" Phineas then turned to the robots as they all expanded and held out various lasers and weapons in Cleveland's direction. "Oh, so _that__'s_ what that is, then. Mr. Brown told them to fight him, so that's what they're doing."

Cleveland, meanwhile, only had one response. "It's day like this that make me wish I was back in Quahog."

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus had Dr. Doofenshmirtz pinned down, and proceeded to destroy his new security system. "No, Perry the Platypus! Please, I beg of you! Leave it be. Haven't you ever had something stolen from you? Li-L-Like your fedora? Huh? Your fedora? I-I-I don't know much about platypus, so I'm-" He was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He managed to get himself up and answer it. "Hello?" It was on speaker phone.

"Heinz? _It's Charlene. I just called to tell you that my car's fixed - finally. So, I'm going to drop off your scooter later and then Vanessa and I are going to pick up my car."_ With that, she hung up. At about the same time, Doofenshmirtz dropped the phone, realizing his error, or errors, in judgement.

"Huh. You know what? Now that I think about it, yes, I-I _do_ remember! Her car died and so she asked me if she could borrow my scooter, and so I said "Yes." I didn't think much of it. But you know, I guess it was because it has been a few days..." He was met with a disapproving look by Perry. "What? I-I'm getting older, Perry the Platypus. It's harder for me to remember stuff."

"48 is the new 62!" Norm shouted off-screen.

"Shut up, Norm!" He turned back to Perry. "Anywho, I guess it just completely slipped my mind that I had loaned her my scooter. Gee, I guess I should write this stuff down. So, in retrospect, I guess there was never truly any need for a security system. It was all just one big..." He finally noticed that Perry had left. "...and you're gone. Real nice."

* * *

As for Cleveland, his encounter with the Phinedroids and Ferbots were, unfortunately, not as positive. In fact, he ended up with many injuries to his body that forced him into a hospital bed. Luckily, he was expected to make a full recovery.

"OK, Mr. Brown, I have good news and bad news." Dr. Hartman told Cleveland and his family. "The bad news is, the news outlets are running your story all over the Tri-State Area and you'll probably be a clear-cut winner for "Laughing-Stock of the Year." The good news is that you're going to make a full recovery."

"Oh, thank you so much, Dr. Hartman." Donna, Cleveland's wife, said.

"What were you thinking? Going after all those robots like that?"

"The town paid me to do it."

"They paid you minimum wage. You could make more as a paperboy."

"Don't make fun of me. I'm hurting."

"Oh, that reminds me." Hartman walked to the door and swung it open. Standing there was a Phinedroid with a bouquet of flowers addressed to Cleveland. "You have a present from..." But before Dr. Hartman could finish, Cleveland screamed his head off and frantically leaped out of bed. He didn't even care how injured he was. He leaped out of the window and, once he landed, ran off as fast as he could, screaming at the top of his lungs. Though the screaming slowly got quietly, eventually it got cut off entirely, leaving the entire family stunned.

"What happened?" Donna asked.

"Did Daddy get hit by a car?" Cleveland Jr. asked. Then they all turned to Dr. Hartman, who had a remote with a red button on it.

"Oh, no, no. I just shut off his mic." He responded, and the whole family all took a sigh of relief. Concern over Cleveland's whereabouts or even his health seemingly disappeared from all of their minds, as the day ended once again for everyone on a happy, yet weird note.

**End of Episode 62a!**

**I admit this is probably going to go down as one of the worst episodes I've done, but frankly, I don't care. I'm just glad it's finally done. Enjoy and review, please!**


	79. 62b: The Hand That Shakes The Wheelchair

** Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 62b: The Hand That Shakes The Wheelchair**

**Episode Summary********************************************: ********When Irving introduces Phineas and Ferb to one of his new friends, Phineas & Ferb are quick to welcome him. But when they discover a shocking secret about it, they become determined to make him the best housewarming gift ever. Meanwhile, after injuring his leg, Doofenshmirtz is relegated to a wheelchair and finds it difficult to fight Perry.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb sat in the backyard, wondering what they should do today. As they were pondering, Irving came running. "Hey, Irving." Phineas said as he arrived. "What's up?"

"Hey guys! I just got this awesome new neighbor and I thought "you guys just _have_ to meet him!"

"A new neighbor, huh? That sounds pretty neat." He turned to Ferb. "Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today. We're gonna make Irving's new neighbor a housewarming gift. I know! Let's build him a homemade version of Dance Dance Revolution? 'Cause who doesn't love to dance?"

"Um, Phineas, I'm not so sure that's a-"

"Of course it's a great idea, Irving. Everyone loves to dance. Just tell him to meet us in our backyard in about 15 minutes."

Irving sighed. "OK, then." And with that he turned around and left.

15 minutes went by without much trouble. Phineas and Ferb were able to complete their invention just in time for Irving and his friend to arrive at the backyard. And when they did, it met with mixed reactions. For you see, the friend Irving brought with him was handicapped and regulated to a wheelchair. Ferb expressed slight shock while Phineas' expression didn't change.

"Hey guys!" He said cheerily. "Glad you could make it. Hey kid, you might wanna lose the wheelchair. It's kinda hard to dance in one. Am I right?"

A brief moment of silence passed before Irving finally broke it. "Phineas, he can't lose the wheelchair."

"Why not?"

"Because he can't walk! That's why!"

Phineas did not respond to that for a brief moment. Instead, he exchanged looks between Irving, the new kid, and Ferb. "What do you mean by that?"

"I can't walk, is what he means." The kid finally spoke. "So you guys are Phineas and Ferb, huh?" He spoke in a slightly high voice. "Weird. I thought you guys would be bigger."

"What do you mean by "You can't walk?"

"I was in a really bad accident when I was really young and I lost the feel of my legs."

"Doesn't it bother you to always be in a wheelchair?"

"Not really? I've gotten used to it."

"Sheesh." Phineas said as turned to Ferb. "Ferb, why didn't you stop me?"

"Because it's not everyday I get to see the great Phineas Flynn make a total fool of himself." Ferb responded in a slight "I-told-you-so" manner.

"Yes you do. You see me around Isabella everyday!"

"Yes, but that's completely different."

"How?!"

"Well...hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry made his way down into his lair and turned on the big screen in front of him. When the picture came up, it displayed a live photo of Major Monogram and Carl playing a game of "Twister". Monty Monogram was also in the scene, reading out the instructions to his father and Carl.

"OK, Dad." He said spinning the wheel. "Left foot...green."

Monogram struggled to move his left leg anywhere. "Almost...there..!" He grunted. During his struggles, he noticed Perry sitting there waiting for his mission. "Agent P!" He shouted, and just like that, both he and Carl fell. They both shouted as they fell, trying their best not to yell obscenities Monogram helped Carl up, dusted himself off, and then went for his close-up. "There you are. Sorry you had to see that. Last night was our annual "Company Game Night", but we never got a chance to finish because...well, er, that's not important."

"What _is _important is that we have a lead on Doofenshmirtz. Our sources have discovered that Doofenshmirtz suffered a leg injury late last night. Don't tell anybody, but...we think it was because of Game Night." That statement left Perry stumped. "Anywho, it's highly unlikely that Doofenshmirtz would be able to be any sort of threat while he's relegated to a wheelchair, but we want you to go investigate just in case. You never know."

Perry saluted and went on his way. When he was out of sight, Monogram turned to Monty and Carl and said, "OK, he's gone. Let's pick it up." He returned to the game mat. "I think it was my turn."

* * *

Meanwhile, Phineas was still busy questioning Irving's new neighbor. "But don't you miss being able to dance and run and swim and..."

"I guess, but it's not like I can do anything about it."

"That's so sad. You're missing out on so many great things in the world! Like running a marathon, swimming in Niagara Falls, running with the bulls..."

"Who would want to do that anyway?"

"My point is, there's a whole lot of stuff you could do if you had working legs. It doesn't bother you at all?"

"Not really. I've been like this pretty much my whole life."

"That's so sad. I wish there was something we could do about it."

"What are you guys talking about? You guys can do anything!" Irving argued. "Can't you guys just build him some mechanical legs that would let him walk?"

"Irving, come on. Don't be silly. We're inventors, not miracle workers." He pondered for a moment, then snapped his fingers with an idea in mind. "Although that does give me an idea. Irving, you take - um...w-what's-what's your name again?"

"Sean. My name is Sean." The kid said flatly.

"Sean. Don't worry. Ferb and I are gonna make sure you get to experience all the things you never got a chance to experience in your younger years."

"You make me sound like an old man."

"Nevertheless."

"But how?"

"Don't you worry about that." Said Irving. "These guys are the best at what they do."

"And what we do is build stuff. Come on Ferb. I know what else we're gonna do today."

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair in record time. Upon entering, he discovered that his arch nemesis was indeed relegated to a wheelchair. His left leg was encased in a cast. "Perry the Platypus..." He spoke in a sinister tone.. "What a surprise. Look at me! I'm in a wheelchair! Cool, huh? Totally beats using crutches. Now, I suppose you're wondering how this happened. Well..."

Just then, out of nowhere, a body cast fell out of the sky and encased Perry inside. "Ha ha! Now you'll know what it's like to be limited in your mobility! I hope you don't mind; I made the trap a little more difficult to escape from. See, I figured that since I'm already handicapped due to my, eh...my injury, I should even the playing field. So even though I can't fight you, I can at least take solace in the fact that you can't possibly break out of that trap."

Perry did not share Doofenshmirtz's sentiments.

"Oh well. Anyway, 'How did this happen' you ask? Well, it's simple really. You see, twice a year, your boss invites me over for our semi-annual 'Good Guy Bad Guy Game Night.' We play all sorts of games. Plus, there's refreshments. Oh and sometimes they bring in entertainment. Last night they had Jerry Seinfeld. Because he's considered funny for some reason. Anyway, we were playing Twister, which I just _love_! I was supposed to put my left hand on blue or something. Unfortunately, by that time Monogram, his little assistant - I think his name was Max or something - and I were all tangled up, so we ended up falling down. We shared a couple of laughs, had some punch...anyway, I hurt myself when I was climbing some stairs on my way out. And I hurt my leg. So now I'm stuck in this wheelchair."

"And let me tell you, Perry the Platypus, it stinks to be in a wheelchair. You can't use the stairs - you have to take the elevator, and boy howdy, when those are out of order - you can't reach high places without help, and worst of all, you can't exact your revenge on your enemies. Like you, for example. Of course, you're not an enemy per-say. Moreso, you're a nemesis. Or even a frenemy. I'll go there. But you get my point. So, I have decided to level the playing field."

He rolled his wheelchair over to his new creation. "Perry the Platypus, I present to you...my Disable-inator! I'm going to use this on every single person in the Tri-State Area. With one blast from my Disable-inator, everyone will be relegated to a wheelchair forever!" Perry's eyes opened widely. "No-Now let me just be clear. I'm not actually going to be breaking everybody's legs. I-It's more like a trap. I-It's like I'm going to be forcing them into a chair and tying their arms & legs to the chair so they can't escape. You know? I-I'm evil, Perry the Platypus, not crazy. And I should know. My ex-wife had me tested."

"So, now that I have explained to you my evil scheme and have rendered you trapped, I can go forward with my plan. And watch, I'll even show you how it works. I even modified the controls so I don't even need to stand up. And it's not even a ray blast or anything like that. I can search for the nearest person and activate my -inator. And as if by magic, a wheelchair will appear right in front of them and tie them down! It's the perfect plan! Absolutely nothing can go wrong!"

If only life worked like that.

* * *

Meanwhile, with Phineas and Ferb finished with their new invention, all of the friends, including Sean, gathered in the backyard again. "Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you...our augmented reality system!" Phineas and Ferb revealed their new invention. It came complete with alternate reality goggles, a fully operational CPU, and color-matching lawn chairs. "With the new system Ferb and I built, we can pretty much simulate any fun adventure we want. You'll get to feel all of the excitement and adrenaline from a fun adventure without ever feeling the negative effects of failure or pain."

"What do you mean by "any fun adventure?" Sean questioned.

"I thought that was pretty self-explanatory. Here. Let's get you set up." Phineas and Ferb helped Sean into one of the lawn chairs and set the helmet on him properly. "So, Sean, out of all the things you've always wanted to do, what would you like to do first?"

"Hmm..." Sean thought long and hard over it. "I've always wanted to go on a roller coaster."

"Roller coaster? Well then I know the perfect one for you to try. Ferb?" Ferb went over to the CPU and typed in the proper commands. Before Sean could react, he found himself in the back seat of Phineas and Ferb's "Coolest Coaster Ever." Sean got the chance to experience every little twist and turn the coaster had to offer, including the mud, rubber snakes, and the unexpected trip into space. Despite a sudden urge to wet his pants, he found himself having a glorious time, screaming along with the others and waving his hands in the air. By the time the ride finally ended - in Phineas and Ferb's tree - he found himself genuinely disappointed.

"Wait, that's it?" He asked.

"Dude, you went into space! Not everybody can say that about a roller coaster." Phineas protested.

"I know! It's just...that was so much fun! I don't want it to end!"

"There's plenty of other stuff that we can do. For instance," Phineas turned to Buford. "Buford, didn't you say you always wanted to go skydiving."

"I never confided that to you! But yes, I do."

"Well, here's your chance. Everybody strap on a helmet! We're going parachuting!"

All the friends agreed. They strapped on helmets and entered the wonderful world of skydiving. Upon entering the alternate reality, they found themselves 10,000 feet above the face of the Earth. They had parachutes, goggles, and a rush of adrenaline. "OK, when I say 'Jump', you all jump! Ready...jump!" Everyone lifted their feet and leaped off the plane simultaneously, screaming in joy. "Hey Sean! How're you doing?"

"I...feel...AMAZING!" He shouted.

"Get ready to pull your chords." Phineas announced. Everyone put their hands in a position to pull their chords and release their parachutes. "Wait for it..." They continued to fall. "Wait for it..." They fell even further. "OK, NOW!" They all simultaneously pulled their cords. Unfortunately, once they did, parachutes did not jump out of their bags. In fact, nothing jumped out. "Um...this is a new one."

"Where are the parachutes?" Buford questioned.

"I...I-I don't know." Phineas stammered. "This isn't exactly what's supposed to happen."

"Well now what?" Sean asked, growing more and more fearful. "What are we supposed to do?"

"I've got an idea! Ferb and I manipulated the system so we can theoretically control our alternate reality! Quick! Everybody imagine you have a parachute on!"

Everybody got to work. Within minutes, everybody but Buford had a parachute on them. Buford, on the other hand, was eating a cheese log. "What?" He asked when everybody gave him looks. "I'm hungry." The glares continued. "OH alright." He closed his eyes, and within seconds, a parachute appeared. They all floated safely towards the ground. "Fun killers."

"Are you kidding?" Sean said in excitement. "That was AWESOME!"

"You having fun?" Phineas asked him.

"So much fun! I can't remember the last time I've had this much fun. I never realized how incredibly limited my options were stuck in a wheelchair."

"Told you. So, got anything else you want to do?"

"Actually, there's one thing that I've already dreamed of doing since I was a little kid."

"Really? What is it? Just say the word and we can make it happen."

"OK." Sean took a deep breath before announcing his intentions. "I want to run a marathon!" He shouted seemingly to the heavens. He was enticed; the friends however were not.

"A marathon? You know that's 26.2 miles of running, right?" Phineas explained.

"Yeah, I know what a marathon is. I have looked in a book before."

"I know. I'm just saying that you might not be fit to do that. I mean, that is a lot of running."

"You don't think I could do it?"

"I'm not saying that."

"That's what it sounds like."

"I'm just worried. We've never actually done something like that with this alternate reality system."

"Then what better time than now? Come on. What's the big deal? If this really is alternate reality then I can't get hurt, right?"

"Well, I guess so..."

"Then what's the problem? Come on, you guys said I could do anything I want. I want to run in a marathon!"

"OK, OK. Keep your pants on. You'll get your marathon."

* * *

Meanwhile, with Doofenshmirtz's plan on the verge of commencing, Perry was hard at work trying to escape his body cast trap. Since he was unable to do so, he decided to simply use his body cast to his advantage. So, with Doofenshmirtz completely distracted, Perry trudged all the way over to his nemesis, and in one fell swoop, allowing himself to fall on Doofenshmirtz's encased left leg. Doofenshmirtz proceeded to scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" The pain was unbearable. But more than anything, the pain caused him to be knocked off guard. As a result, he knocked into his -inator, causing it to begin malfunctioning.

As a result of the malfunction, the Disable-inator started firing every which way. People all around the Tri-State Area were succumbing to the effects of the -inator, finding themselves trapped in wheelchairs left and right. Unfortunately, that also included Phineas & the gang, and at the worst possible time as well.

* * *

Sean was about to run the marathon, thanks in part to the work of Phineas and Ferb. But just as the race was starting, and just as Sean was coming across a slightly inclined hill, the Disable-inator hit the augmented reality system, thus inflicting the damage onto Sean. He found himself back in a wheelchair, and unfortunately, halfway up the hill, he soon found himself rolling down the hill and then some.

"Oh no!" Phineas shouted.

"He's getting away!" Isabella added.

"Where did that wheelchair come from?" Buford pondered.

"Never mind. We have to catch him. He could get seriously hurt."

The friends all ran after Sean as he erratically flew off of the track, hurdling toward his doom down the street. Not too far from there, the road was blocked off due to a sewage leak. This led to the friends questioning whom among them imagined such a scenario. They realized they didn't have much time to save him. So, while they were all running, Phineas and Ferb worked quickly to create a grappling hook that would save Sean from any danger.

When they fired off the hook, it grabbed onto Sean's wheelchair. But when they tried to reel him in, it proved to be a much more difficult task. All of the friends had to grab a hold of the hook and pull with all of their strength. Together, they were all able to keep the wheelchair from recklessly wheeling towards the construction site. But this left them with a dilemma. By continuing their efforts to restrain Sean, they were preventing Phineas and Ferb from building something else that could get them out of the jam.

"He's getting heavy!" Isabella strained. "What do we do?"

"I have an idea!" Phineas shouted. "Ferb and I can whip up a universal reset button that will let us return to the surface world. But I don't know how long it'll take, and I don't know if you guys could hold him long enough for us to finish it."

"You callin' us weak?" Buford bellowed.

"Don't worry about us, Phineas." Isabella said. "You and Ferb just do what you have to do. WE'll be fine here. We can surely handle this."

"Are you sure, Isabella?"

"Trust me."

Phineas looked at her, and then at Ferb. Deep down, he knew she was right. So he and Ferb both let go of the rope and got to work on their universal reset button. It took them virtually no time at all to finish the reset button. It was just in time as well, because the friends could barely hang on without Phineas & Ferb. So without wasting any more time, they pressed the reset button and sent everybody back to the real world, also destroying the augmented reality system in the process.

The friends all cheered out of sync and the notion of being back in the real world. "Well, that was fun." Phineas said. "Wasn't it, Sean?"

"Yes. Yes it was." He responded. "Are things always that crazy around here?"

"Yes. Yes they are. So Sean, what do you wanna do tomorrow?"

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's, the fight continued. But this time, Perry did not have the -inator to worry about. After aggravating Doofenshmirtz's injury, Perry disabled the -inator and pushed the self-destruct button. It was only a matter of time before the effects of it reversed and the machine destroyed itself.

This allowed Perry to return his attention to the matter at hand and focus on defeating Doofenshmirtz. With his nemesis handicapped to a wheelchair, it was much easier for Perry to gain an upper hand on him and eventually defeat him. Once he was through, he left Doofenshmirtz in his wheelchair, irritable and irate that not only his plan failed, but that his injury was re-aggravated.

"Curse you, Perry the..." He started to curse out Perry, only to discover that his daughter was standing there. "OH." Doofenshmirtz chuckled lightly. "Vanessa. I-I didn't hear you come in?"

"Were you just fighting Perry?" Vanessa asked sternly.

"No. No, I-I mean..."

"'Cause you heard what the doctor said, right? No fighting your mortal enemies."

"Yes I remember, and I ignored him."

"WHy?"

"Because Perry the Platypus is not a mortal enemy. If he were, I would've been spending my time trying to eliminate him rather than trying to remove my brother from power Doesn't that sound better than trying to eradicate Perry the Platypus?"

"I don't care what it sounds like. The doctor told you not to fight Perry and you ignored it. So if you're not going to listen to him willingly..." She took out a lock and a key, and proceeded towards the broken -inator. Once there, she pushed it towards the nearby storage closet, threw it in, collected other nearby -inators, and locked the door.

"Hey, hey! What are you doing to my -inators?" Doofenshmirtz shouted.

"I'm locking them up. He told you specifically not to play around like this. So if you're not gonna stop with the -inators willingly, I'm going to stop you by force."

"By locking up my -inators away in the closet?"

"Yep. And I'm giving the key to..." At that moment, Norm walked it. "Norm." He dropped the key in Norm's open hand. "Here you go, Norm. Make sure my dad doesn't get his hands on it."

"Sure thing." Without warning, Norm dropped the key into his mouth, presumably eating it. Then came shredding noises, prompting a scream from Vanessa.

"Norm, what are you doing?"

"Do not fear. The matter has been resolved. The key is destroyed."

"But that's - that's no-not..." Vanessa groaned and cupped her eyebrows together. Doofenshmirtz did not appear any more pleased than Vanessa.

"Remind me to make him a plug so I can unplug him."

**End of Episode 62b!**

**My worst episode yet. I'm serious. I hate this one. But I was so determined to finish this. I am so sorry, guys. Major writer's block. Hopefully it goes away very soon, but in the meantime I'm also thinking about scratching all of my Family Guy/Phineas & Ferb crossover fanfiction and starting over. Lots of things to mull over with finals coming up in College. Wish me luck.**


	80. 63: Over The Limit

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 63: ****Over The Limit**

**Episode Summary********************************************: ********After trying out one of Phineas and Ferb's newest inventions: the world's tastiest candy, Candace becomes highly addicted to it, and goes to such extreme lengths to have some without her family knowing. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's latest scheme also involves candy, only this candy isn't tasty and addicting like Phineas and Ferb's.********  
**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb were in the kitchen, fooling around with another one of their inventions. Their mother was washing the dishes. "What'cha working on, boys?" She politely asked them.

"It's a surprise, Mom." Phineas responded. "We're still not done with it, but we're gonna make sure we are by dinner."

"Well can you at least give me a hint?"

"Sorry, Mom. We want you guys to be totally surprise. But I can promise you this: it's gonna blow your mind!"

"Oh, is it?" She turned off the faucet and put the dish she was holding on the rack. "Well then, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To have my mind blown." She left the two boys in the kitchen to work on their invention.

"Ferb, have you ever noticed that Mom's not really that funny?" Phineas asked; Ferb nodded. "I thought it wasn't just me. Now, let's get back to work, shall we?"

Meanwhile, in the living room, Candace was watching television with Stacy. They were watching a news report relaying information about the dangers of addiction. "Addiction is referred to as the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse dependency consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors." Tom Tucker said. "Now, the most common addictive substances are drugs and alcohol, but in essence, anything can act as an addictive substance so long as it alters the victim's behavior."

"Perhaps the greatest example is of the recent tragedy of the closing of Hostess." Joyce Kinney continued.

"Not longer than a day after Hostess announced it filed for bankruptcy, an extremely fat man, a self-proclaimed "Cupcake Lover" created this amateur video of himself standing in front of one of their famous factors, and...among other things, sets himself on fire."

The scene cut to a fat man with a white shirt & green pants (Peter Griffin from _Family Guy_) with a lighter in his hand, bringing the lighter closer and closer to his body until he was literally on fire. "AHHHHHHH!" He screamed. "HOLY CRAP! THIS IS HOT! AHHHHHHH!" He started running around in circles with the pain getting worse. The scene then returned to the studio.

"We would show you more, but it...it just kinda gets sadder after that. Coming up next in sports, one year after their massive spending spree, the Miami Marlins have a new slogan: 'Where did everybody go?'" (**A/N: If you're a Marlins fan, you know exactly what I'm talking about**)

"Jeez, can you believe some people?" Candace said to Stacy.

"I don't know, Candace. It's not totally crazy. When you really want something, you tend to go to drastic lengths, especially if you're really addicted to them. For example, I'm addicted to shopping."

"So? That only works if you have money to spend."

"And I did. Remember when I told you about that time I broke our vase and I had to earn money to pay it off?"

"Yeah, Phineas and Ferb helped you sell chocolate treats."

"And you see this handbag I have?" She held up her handbag, which matched her outfit.

"Yeah. Wait, so _that's_ where all that money went to? That one handbag?"

"And 17 more just like this one. And that's not even including the 2 I plan to buy today. I've said too much. I gotta go!" She rushed out before too much had been said, leaving Candace by herself.

"OK, everyone!" Phineas called from the kitchen. "Our surprise is ready!" Within minutes Lawrence and Linda were in the kitchen. Candace soon joined them. Sitting on the table was a big container that looked a lot like a safe. It also included a touch screen. "Ladies and gentlemen, Ferb and I present to you..." Phineas reached into his pocket and pulled out a moderately-sized, cube-shaped, blue-colored piece of candy. "The tastiest candy in the world!" Expecting a joyous reaction, or at least a share of "ooh's" and "ahh's" from the family, he expressed discontent when it didn't come. "What gives?"

"But Phineas, dear, it's just a little cube." Linda said. "What's so special about a little cube?"

"You haven't tasted it yet." Phineas handed Linda the cube. Linda took it and, hesitantly, took a bite out of it. Chewing it slowly, the taste slowly began engulfing her. A smile soon appeared on her face, and as she swallowed, her eyes widen.

"Oh-Oh my goodness!" She exclaimed, handing the cube back to Phineas. "This is...this is..."

"The most delicious candy in the world? We know." Phineas said with pride. "We're not exactly new to this kind of thing."

"But how did you make it?"

"Well, basically Ferb and I broke down the chemical formulas to the tastiest candies known to man - and some known to dolphins - and we managed to combine them all into one sweet, cubical, tiny mass of whole-hearted deliciousness that'll heighten your taste buds guaranteed."

"Well, quit holding us hostage." Lawrence remarked. "Could we perhaps try some?"

"Sure. But first we need to show you how this safe works. See, for all the tasty components lodged inside this treat, there is one drawback. While we're not certain, Ferb and I fear that during the maturation process, we also accidentally created that chemical that heightens addiction. That's why for safety reasons, we're each only allowed one piece per day. In order to collect your piece, the safe first identifies you with its eye scanner. Watch."

Phineas stepped over to the safe as it proceeded to scan him. Then a robotic voice started speaking. "_Phineas Flynn. Identified._" It said. Then then touch screen displayed a question. Phineas turned to the family. "Next, it asks you a trivia question. The questions aren't hard, plus they're multiple choice. But it's a fail-safe mechanism to ensure that nobody gets more than one per day."

"Is it really that much of a risk?"

"Well we're not entirely sure. But Ferb and I decided it was better to just play it safe. OK, now that we've gotten the introductions out of the way, come on up and claim your candy!"

Everybody followed the instructions to the letter; when they were done they were each enjoying a world of sensational bud-tangling deliciousness. "Well, glad you all liked it." Phineas commented. "Now if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go share our candy with our friends." He and Ferb carried the safe with them. They went around the neighborhood demonstrating their new candy to their friends. Suffice to say, they were extremely impressed and instantly hooked to it. But they weren't the only ones.

* * *

Later that night, while the rest of her family was asleep, Candace found herself lying in her bed wide awake. She could not figure out why. She kept thinking that she was merely sleeping the wrong way, but several positional adjustments did nothing to help. There was complete silence in the air, with the exception of Phineas snoring in the room next to her. But her stomach was bothering her, not her ears, so she deduced that she merely had to use the restroom.

But, when her trip to the john proved to provide no answers, she decided to go down into the kitchen. She thought that perhaps a glass of water would calm her nerves. But that was when she laid her eyes on the candy machine that Phineas and Ferb had built. She started to remember the delicious sensation she felt when she first tasted the candy her brothers made. She felt an incredible sense of zest just thinking about it.

She approached the machine slowly. She remembered what her brother had said earlier. "_We're each only allowed one piece per day._" There were real concerns over the chemical nature of the candy; it could potentially heighten the sense of addiction. She was well aware of this, but there was something inside her mind telling her to ignore it. She knew better, but there was something in her that was nudging her towards the machine again.

She was well aware that the machine already read her eye once and that it wouldn't accept her again. She thought quickly on her feet. Without hesitating, she rushed towards the front door, quietly unlocked it, and sprinted out.

* * *

The next morning, the whole family awoke and headed for the kitchen. That's when they discovered that Phineas and Ferb's candy machine had been tampered with. It appeared slightly damaged on the outside, but it still functioned properly. "Oh no! The machine!" Phineas exclaimed. "What happened to it?"

"It looks like someone tried to tamper with it." Ferb responded.

"Did someone break in?"

"I don't think so." Linda said, checking all the doors and windows. "There doesn't seem to be any signs of forced entry."

"Maybe someone in the house did it." Lawrence suggested. Candace quickly grew tense.

"Wait, so just because there's no immediate signs that someone broke in that means we should stop investigating?" Candace shouted almost instantly. "Why can't Phineas and Ferb go and investigate the crime scene? If anybody could track an intruder, it's these two!"

"Candace, are you alright?" Lawrence asked. "You seem a little jumpy."

"I do?" She took in a deep breath and calmed herself. "Sorry. I-I guess I didn't sleep well last night."

"Maybe a nice breakfast will calm your nerves. How about some flapjacks?"

"That sounds nice. I'm gonna go upstairs to freshen up." She slowly walked away, and once she was out of sight, she rushed upstairs towards her room. She shut the door behind her, giggling maniacally. In front of her wasa pile of small candies she had gotten from the machine the night before. She approached the pile and took a bunch of candies, stuffing them into her mouth. But as studies would later prove, there was far more candy missing from the machine than Candace had taken. So where was the other candy?

Meanwhile, downstairs, while Phineas and Ferb were doing their investigating and Lawrence & Linda were cooking breakfast, Perry was in his bed, sleeping soundly. That is, until his watch beeped. He quickly awakened and took himself into another room to receive his message.

"_Good morning, Agent P._" His boss said from the watch. "_Sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. But we've got a crisis on our hands. Last night, Dr. Doofenshmirtz broke into some residential home and stole some delicious candy. According to our sources, Doofenshmirtz is planning to incorporate this candy into his latest scheme. We don't have all the information yet, so we'll need you to go investigate. Good luck, Agent P."_

Meanwhile, after Phineas and Ferb had successfully concluded that nobody from the outside broke into the house and sabotaged the candy machine, Phineas decided to go upstairs and talk to Candace. There was a knock at her door, just as she was finishing up her batch of candy. "Candace?" A small voice on the outside of her door squeaked. She quickly panicked and rushed to hide the bag of candy she had underneath her bed. She forcefully swallowed the candy in her mouth and turned to face the door, sweating profusely out of guilt. "Hey Candace."

"Hey, little bro." She said nervously. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you were OK. You were a little bit jumpy downstairs."

"I'm fine, Phineas. Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Phineas, for Pete's sake! Stop being such a worrywart. I'm fine. Now run along, little bro." She calmly took his shoulders and easily nudged him out of her room, closing the door behind him once he was out. "Finally. I thought he'd never leave."

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry was on his way to Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. The issue with Phineas and Ferb's candy annoyed him much, so he was hoping that a nice little mission with his nemesis would take his mind off of him. Unfortunately, he was wrong, and it all started with the trap he found himself in.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz cackled, having trapped Perry in a candy machine. With actual candy in it. "I hope you like my newest trap. It's a candy machine. And look. See? I-It has actual candy in it. I thought it would be a nice touch. Not only that, but it's a great tie-in to my latest scheme. You see, one day, during my youthful years in Gimmelshtump, this new candy factory called 'Candy's Candy'. At that point, I wasn't really into candy very much. For much of my adolescent existence, I ate pretty healthy. Well, mostly because I was force-fed by my parents. But that's a story for another time.

"But anywho, one day I finally decided to enter the factory and just explore. I had on me but a single quarter to spend of anything I could find. I came across a gumball machine just like the one I've trapped you in. I put my quarter, and out popped a blue gumball. I picked it up and I started to chew it. It took a few chews before the flavor finally sunk in. When I opened my eyes, it felt like I was transported to an alternate universe. It was so surreal. I loved it so much I wanted to tell my parents about it. But the second I started talking, they put me in my room and locked the door. They started babbling on about how candy is not for trouble-making boys like me, and all that stuff. I-I think it has something to do with the fact that I stood up to them about a week before and said I wouldn't be the family lawn gnome anymore."

Doofenshmirtz sighed. "So, you know what they did to me?" Perry shook his head. "That's right. They made me the lawn gnome again. And this time they blindfolded me and tied me up. Can you believe that? What kind of family ties up their own child like that? Anyway, ever since then I have despised candy. That is why I am going to make everyone else in the Tri-State Area despise candy! And I'll do it with..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black gumball. "THIS!"

Perry was perplexed, questioning the point of all of the rambling. "This isn't your ordinary gumball, Perry the Platypus. You see, I have taken all of the good flavor out of this gumball, and I have made it so sour-tasting, so vile, so repulsive, anyone who eats even a single gumball will be forever turned off by any future candy. But that's not all! There is also a secret ingredient that will force them into a deep state of hypnosis, and when they come out, they will think that I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, should be their leader, and not my older brother, _Roger_! Boy, I sure would like to see the look on his face when he discovers that everyone wants to obey _me_!" He cackled loudly, tooting his own horn along the way. "Now, there's just one problem."

He walked across the room to another -inator; it resembled a conveyor belt, one that is normally seen in factories that makes toys. "Mass producing thousands of these little gumballs is going to take me a little time. I don't really want to jump start my evil scheme until I have as much candy as I need. So...uh, yeah. That leaves you in a little bit of a pickle. On the one hand, I could release you from your trap in the hopes that you'll just, you know, respect my privacy and allow my -inator to warm up until tomorrow. But on the other hand, I could just keep you locked up in that cage until tomorrow. But, I am not a fan of animal cruelty. So, we'll compromise."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz walked into another room, and came back out with 2 small ray-like devices. "Here. I miniaturized my old Forget-About-It-inator. I'll use it on you so you forget anything you've heard today. Then I'll use my Go-Home-inator to send you back to wherever you may come from. OK, stand back." He shot him with the first -inator, erasing his memory of the day. Then he shot him with the Go-Home-inator to send him back to his house. "There. All done. Now I can mass produce my hypnotic candies."

"Did somebody say 'candy?" Norm, his robotic assistant, asked, walking into the room.

"Yes, but these candies aren't for you." Doofenshmirtz retorted. "You're already obedient enough as it is. It's your competence that I'm beginning to question."

* * *

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas & Ferb were already starting on their project for the day. While they were setting up, Phineas's mind was wandering. He couldn't help himself; he kept thinking about his sister. To him, something seemed off about her. She wasn't acting like herself. Eventually, it concerned him enough to bring it up in conversation with Ferb.

"Hey, Ferb?" He asked. "Did Candace seem..._off_ to you?"

"What do you mean?" He responded.

"Like when we were all in the kitchen investigating our candy machine break-in. She seemed jumpy. Almost anxious. It's almost as if she was trying to hide something."

"Or perhaps you're just reading into it too much. Haven't you ever woken up a little irritable?"

"Sometimes. But only when I don't get enough sleep."

"Which, in my opinion, has happened more often than not lately."

"Hi guys!" The high, friendly voice of Isabella burst onto the scene, interrupting their conversation. "What'cha doin'?" She asked sweetly as she strolled over to Phineas and gave him his usual hug and kiss.

"Hey, Isabella. We're just getting started on our new project. We're building a machine that'll transform us into any animal we please."

"Why would you wanna do that?"

"Just to know what it's like. I'm gonna turn myself into cheetah. 'Cause, you know, they run really fast. And I like to work quickly." He turned to Phineas. "Ferb, what are you gonna turn yourself into?"

Ferb shrugged his shoulders.

"Eh, don't worry. You'll think of something. How about you, Isabella?" He turned back to his girlfriend. "If you could change into one animal for the day, what would you turn into?"

"You know, I've always wanted to know what it's like to be an owl. I want to know if it's really true that they have better eyesight at night than in the day. Plus, it would go a long way towards earning my 'Wildlife Studies' patch."

"How about we do one where we don't have to wait until nighttime to use it?"

"OK. Uh, how about...how about a puppy? I've always wanted to get inside the head of my dog Pinky."

"Done and done!" While they were continuing to work on their project, Phineas happened to catch a glimpse of Candace as she exited the house from the front door. She appeared on edge again as if she had not slept for a few days. "Gee, Candace doesn't look very good." He commented.

"Don't worry about it so much." Isabella said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm sure your sister is fine. You worry too much."

"You didn't see her this morning. When we found out that our candy machine was broken into, Candace got all hyper and crazy. I'm starting to wonder if something's really wrong with her. I can't quite place my finger on it."

"You know, she _is_ still a teenager. Maybe she's just going through some teenager stuff. I don't think it's anything for you to be concerned about."

"Are you sure?"

"I _am_ a girl, aren't I?"

"I hope so."

"Good. Now stop worrying and start building, sweetie. I wanna figure out the headcase that is my dog sometime today."

* * *

As it turns out, Candace had a date with Kurt. They met up at the park and Kurt immediately noticed Candace's unusual demeanor. "Candace, are you OK?" He asked kindly. "You seem a little on edge."

"Huh?" She turned towards him. She was not really paying attention. "Did you say something?"

"Yeah. I said you seem on edge today. Something wrong?"

"Oh, no. No-No, nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure? 'Cause I can't remember a time where I ever saw you this on edge."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Really. Actually, you know what? I'm a little bit hungry."

"No prob. There's an ice cream truck over there if you want some."

"Um...s-sure. I guess." They both walked over to the ice cream truck and ordered two ice cream cones. Candace took hers and took a lick. Although it was Candace's favorite flavor (it's left vague intentionally; fill the void yourself) she found herself unable to enjoy the delicious treat. At first she wasn't able to dissect what it was that was bothering her. Could the ice cream have spoiled in the summer heat? Are her taste buds undergoing a radical change? Was she going crazy? Even more crazy than usual?

"Candace?" Kurt asked, startling Candace. "You OK?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, sure."

"What's wrong? You don't like your ice cream? I can always get you another one."

"No, no. That's OK. It's fine." She took another lick of her ice cream. She got the same dull feeling from this lick that she did with the last one: utter disappointment. Quickly, she came to her senses, and she realized that the problem didn't lie within the ice cream, but within her herself.

She didn't want the ice cream. She didn't want chocolate. She didn't want strawberry. She didn't want any flavor of ice cream. She wanted candy.

More specifically, she wanted Phineas and Ferb's candy.

She got a crippling feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't shake it no matter what she tried to think about. It was driving her mad. Every time she looked at her ice cream, she craved Phineas & Ferb's candy. "You know what?" She said after a long period of silence and contemplation. "I'm not really in the mood for ice cream."

"Oh. OK. Um, we could go for some pizza."

"No, no. You know what? I'm not even hungry anymore. I-I lost my appetite."

"Um...OK...then what do you wanna do?"

By now, the lust for the candy and her growing discontent made Candace grow a little irritated. "I don't know. You're the guy here! You're the one that's supposed to know what to do!" She started shouting without even realizing it. Kurt remained quiet for a moment while Candace began to shake.

"Candace, are you sure you're OK? 'Cause you don't look the part."

"Um, u-uh..." She struggled to get out a word.

"Why don't I take you home?" He said slowly while taking her shoulder and leading her out of the park. "For your safety...and for the safety of everyone else." He finished quickly.

So they walked back home. When they returned home, they walked into the backyard and found Phineas and Ferb fiddling around with their latest invention, as well as a puppy dog version of Isabella along with her own dog Pinky. "What are you guys doing?" Candace immediately asked in a tone that eerily resembled her busting ways from long ago.

"Hi Candace. We're helping Isabella figure out how to better communicate with Pinky. So we transformed her into a dog."

"And that'll help her...how?" Kurt asked.

"We're...not entirely sure. But we've tried pretty much everything else in the past. We figured we didn't have anything to lose."

"Ok...well, I have to run. See you guys, later. Feel better, Candace." She said sweetly before exiting the backyard. Candace put on a sheepish and rather crooked smile as he left. But when he was out of sight, the smile disappeared. She turned to the boys. "By the way, while I have you, have you guys gotten around to making some more of the candy that we had yesterday?" She smiled again, rather nervously.

"Actually, we did. The safe is still in the kitchen. But we beefed up the security system after the break-in. Now you have to answer two trivia questions instead of just one. The first one is easy. But the second one really tests your mind. It makes you earn your treat."

"Yeah, yeah, OK. Thanks guys." Candace went inside immediately, wanting to get her treat. Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb turned Isabella back into herself.

"So Isabella, did you learn anything new about Pinky? What did he say?" Phineas asked her immediately.

"He said...'You didn't feed me this morning."

Meanwhile, inside the house, Candace approached the candy-dispensing machine. After scanning her eye, she was given an easy trivia question. Answering it was a piece of cake, but then came the second question. The question was far more challenging than the first one, so much so that it frustrated Candace.

"Oh come on! Who's supposed to know that?" She shouted. Desperate, she took out her smartphone and frantically searched for the answer. "Ah ha!" She typed in her answer, and the vault dispensed a piece of candy for her, which she quickly gobbled up. She began hyperventilating as she finished her piece. "That was _soooooooo_ good." She moaned. "It's not fair! Why should I only get to enjoy one of these delicious, otherworldly treats?" She looked down at the vault in front of her, practically drooling over the treats. "I want more! I _NEED_ more!"

* * *

So later that night, after everyone had gone to sleep, Candace sneaked downstairs into the kitchen where the candy vault sat. She dressed herself in a black hoodie and black sweatpants to conceal her identity in case anybody discovered her. She had with her a giant mallet that she would use to smash the vault and steal all of the candy. As she approached the vault, something hit her. Would Phineas and Ferb go through the trouble of making the candy again after having their toy broke into twice in two days? She wasn't sure.

To avoid facing that conundrum, she decided to scavenger the kitchen in hopes of finding the recipe Phineas & Ferb used to make the candy in the first place. That way she would be able to make her own candy if she ever wanted some without having to rely on her brothers. She looked everywhere she could - in the cabinets, in the drawers, under Perry's bowl, but no recipe could be found anywhere.

She theorized that Phineas & Ferb kept the recipe in their room. So she placed her mallet down on the ground and crept upstairs into their room. The room was status quo; Ferb was in his bed asleep, while Phineas & Isabella shared a bed together with the latter able to tolerate the former's snoring somehow. Candace searched the entire room, careful not to wake any of them. But like in the kitchen, there was no recipe to be found. Frustrated, she growled before realizing she growled and covered her mouth. She looked over at her brothers. Ferb only stirred around and it would take a lot more than a mere growl to be louder than Phineas.

She returned to the kitchen and picked up her mallet. Since she could not find the recipe to their candy, she would take whatever was left and then figure out what to do at a later time. She lifted her mallet over her hand, and then slammed her arms down in one fast motion. The hammer connected with the vault and completely trashed it in one fell swoop.

Upstairs, upon hearing the vault being smashed, Isabella stirred around before opening her eyes. As she sat up, she looked around the room. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of Phineas snoring right next to her. Even so, she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't right. So she kissed her boyfriend on his drool-covered lips and got out of bed, creeping ever so quietly out the door to investigate.

When she got downstairs and went into the kitchen, the first thing she saw was that the candy vault was completely smashed. She gasped immediately. "Oh no! Not again!" She said. "I've gotta tell Phineas!" But before she even had a chance to make a move, she felt herself being grabbed from behind. It was Candace - still in her disguise - who made the sneak attack. Frightened, Isabella screamed at the top of her lungs.

Back upstairs, Phineas heard Isabella's screams and shot right up in bed fully alert. "Isabella!" He leaped out of bed right away and ran downstairs. By the time Phineas had arrived downstairs, Candace was long gone, as was the candy. Meanwhile, Phineas found Isabella tied up with her mouth taped shut, up against the kitchen wall. He rushed over to her. "Isabella! Are you hurt?" He asked, she shook her head no. "Don't worry. I'll have you out in a jiff."

Phineas struggled to get the ropes untangled, but was eventually able to do so, freeing her from the rope's grip. He also pulled the tape off of her mouth, allowing her to speak. "Phineas!" She shouted, reaching out to kiss him after he was done. "You saved me."

"What in the world happened? Who did this to you?"

"I don't know. I didn't see their face. It all happened so fast I barely had any time to react." She sighed and gazed lovingly into his eyes. "I'm just glad you came down to save me. I was actually worried."

"Worried?"

"Worried you wouldn't hear me screaming. You were snoring pretty loud."

"I was?"

"Yeah. Louder than normal, too."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't say I didn't like it. I just said it was loud." She remarked to him; he blushed. "Come on, let's go back to bed. I wanna go back to sleep on my "special pillow." She giggled. She tapped his rear end lightly once as she past him and made her way back upstairs. Phineas remained where he was and stared at the broken vault, whole-heartedly dejected. Isabella came back down to see what was taking Phineas so long. "Everything OK, sweetie? Did I hit your butt too hard?"

"That's two days we've made our candy and two nights somebody's smashed the vault to steal it." He said with clear dejection in his voice. "I'm starting to think maybe it isn't worth it to be making this stuff anymore."

"Don't say that! Just because you've run into trouble doesn't mean you should give up."

"No, I mean for the safety of the family. You were tied up for no reason tonight. Who knows what could happen tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I guess you're right. But why don't we sleep on it tonight and then decide what to do tomorrow?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

"Come on, let's go upstairs." She took his hand and started leading him towards the staircase. "Your tushie's not going to sleep on itself, you know." She giggled as she said that, causing Phineas to blush harder as he knew exactly what she was talking about and was looking forward to it.

* * *

The following morning, Phineas & Ferb gathered the family in the living room to make an announcement. After Phineas explained to Ferb what had happened, both brothers as well as Isabella decided that the best way to avoid another similar scenario would be to stop making the candy on a daily basis.

"We've gathered you all here this morning to discuss something of utmost importance." Phineas stated in a very serious tone.

"UM, honey, if this is about you and Isabella," Linda began. "you don't have to worry. Lawrence and I already know."

"No, Mom, this is - wait, you knew!?" Phineas expressed complete shock. Then he expressed a huge sigh of relief. 'Boy, you have no idea how much relief I feel right now."

"See? I told you you had nothing to worry about." Isabella whispered to him. Then he snapped back to reality.

"N-No, that's not it. We wanted to talk to you guys about our candy."

"What about it?"

"Well after what's happened the past couple of days, Ferb, Isabella and I have decided that it's in the best interest of all of us if we stopped making our candy."

"_**WHAT!?**_" Shouted Candace instantly, who appeared to be on the edge of a mental breakdown. "Y-You can't do that, Phineas! Your candy makes me happy- I-I mean, makes _us_ happy."

"But Candace, we don't want to endanger your safety and well-being over a simple sugary treat. I found Isabella tied up & mouth taped shut in the kitchen after the vault was smashed."

Everyone except Candace gasped loudly.

"And that was just last night. I'd hate to think what else could happen if we keep making this candy."

"So that's it, huh?" She was slowly entering her meltdown phase. She stood up and walked slowly to them. "You're just going to give up? Is that it? After all of the joy your candy has brought me, there is NO WAY I'm letting you bozos stop making it!"

"Candace!" Linda shouted sternly. Candace turned around quickly and snarled at her, practically foaming at the mouth. "Are you alright, hon?"

"NO! NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT! Don't you get it, woman?" She grabbed Linda's shirt and started shaking her frantically. "There's NO MORE CANDY LEFT!"

"Actually, there is." Phineas said. Candace quickly turned her attention to him. Phineas brought his hands around from behind his back and revealed that he was holding a bag that had candy in it. "There's this small batch of candy left that Ferb and I made. But that's it. There's no-"

"GIVE IT!" Candace screamed, swiping the bag of candy and instantly devouring it in front of everyone. It's safe to say that everyone's jaws dropped to the ground. "What? What are you staring at?" She said with her mouth stuffed to the brink with candy.

"Candace..." Phineas started slowly. "You have a problem."

"I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!" She shouted, pointing viciously at Phineas. "You're the one with the problem! You're the one that won't make more candy!"

"Candace..." Linda slowly edged towards Candace only to have her daughter hiss at her and pull the back away. Then, without warning, she made a break for the door.

"**_MY_ _CANDY!_**" She screeched at the top of her lungs before bolting, leaving the entire family stunned and rather flabbergasted.

"Well...that sure wasn't serendipitous." Phineas said.

"Indeed." Linda agreed.

"So...pancakes, anyone?" Lawrence suggested, to which everyone let out excited cheers. But not before Phineas noticed something that was...well, ordinary.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Candace had run off into town, maniacally screaming her head off while occasionally eating a piece of candy from her bag. What she didn't know was that Perry had sneaked out of the house to follow Candace and figure out a way to stop her. But before he had a chance to do anything, his watch beeped.

"_Agent P,_" Major Monogram said on the other line. "_We've just received intel that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has completed production on his hypnotic candy. You have to stop him before he ships it out to everyone in the Tri-State Area and causes chaos everywhere!"_

Agent P changed courses and headed back to Doofenshmirtz's lair. He broke down the door and discovered boxes and boxes filled with Doofenshmirtz's candy just lying around.

"Perry the Platypus, just in time." He said maniacally as he put his box down on the floor and approached the platypus. "My hypnosis candy is finally complete! Now to put the final phase of my plan into action! But first, in order to test out my newest creation." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a black gumball. "This one only has a minor dosage of that hypnosis chemical I created. Oh Vanessa!?" He called for his daughter, who slowly walked into the room.

"Yes, Dad?"

"Would you mind eating this gumball for me? I need to test it out." He handed her the gumball.

"If my hair falls out, you are so paying for a wig." She consumed the gumball, chewing it a few times before swallowing it. "So...like, what am I supposed to-" Before she finished, she felt a strange feeling in her stomach. It was as if an outside force was controlling her thoughts and desires. The sensation took over, and soon she found herself compelled to become involved with the man standing in front of her, Dr. Doofenshmirtz. So, she allowed her new instincts to take over.

And she proceeded to rip his body to shreds.

Without warning, Vanessa lunged at her father. Roaring like a gorilla, she pounded him with her fists and started to shred his clothes. Doofenshmirtz began screaming. "AHH! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Vanessa was pounding him as hard as he can. But eventually, she came back to her senses and fell off of her father. The chemical reaction had worn off. Neither had any idea of what had just happened.

"W-What...What in the heck just happened?" Vanessa asked, very confused.

"I-I-I don't know. T-That was totally the opposite of what I wanted. You were supposed to bow down to me and advocate me to overthrow my brother Roger as Mayor."

"Yeah, I think I just impeached you instead."

"You almost killed me! I wonder what went wrong. H-Here, let me try one." He reached into his pocket and ate a gumball himself. Swallowing, he anticipated something to happen. "That's strange. I don't feel any..."

"Uh...Dad?"

"I have a tail, don't I?" Doofenshmirtz looked behind him to discover that he had indeed grown a tail. He sighed. "I knew it. Well this is just great."

"So, Dad...couple of questions. Uh, One: what was this candy supposed to do any why didn't it do it? And Two: Why does it taste like Horse Radish mixed with ice cream that's been out in the sun for three weeks?"

"Ok, technically, that's three questions but..." Vanessa glared at him. "Well, it was supposed to hypnotize you and convince you that I should be Mayor of Danville rather than my brother Roger. Plus the taste is supposed to turn you off candy forever."

"Well, you certainly accomplished that second part. That's for sure."

"Except now we have a problem. If your piece of candy didn't give you the incredible urge to advocate me for Mayor, then who knows what the other pieces will do. We have to get them back before anybody eats any, or it could spell disaster for all of us!"

So Doofenshmirtz and Perry ran right out the door and headed for the outside. Perry followed slowly behind, rather exasperated.

* * *

In town, Candace was still running around like crazy, carrying around her bag full of candy, looking for more. She wanted to find a nice, quiet place to eat her candy, though this proved to be too difficult as she kept drawing attention to herself with her shouting.

Finally, she was able to find a spot. It was a mailbox right in front of the post office. She leaped into the box and quickly began devouring all of the candy inside without giving a thought to her digestive system. She finished within 10 seconds.

"The candy...it-it's gone." She whimpered. "I...I...**_I MUST HAVE MORE!_**" She screamed, and with that she exited the mailbox in search of more candy.

As she began frantically looking around, the truck that was carrying Doofenshmirtz's "hypnotic" candy passed by. Candace immediately noticed the truck and started running after it. Somehow, she was able to catch up to it and hop aboard on the back. With an unimaginable amount of adrenaline pumping through her body, she broke through the back door of the truck and discovered the dozens of boxes of candy lying there.

However, before she even had a chance to open a box, the truck immediately came to a halt. The driver suspected something was amiss, and refused to take any chances. So he stopped the truck and ran to the back, and only then did he discover Candace trying to open the boxes. "Hey! What are you doing back here?" He asked sternly, but all he got for a response was a screeching his from Candace, which understandably caused him to flinch. "OK, OK, be cool. I don't want any trouble."

"CANDACE!" A faint voice from the distance shouted. It was Phineas, as he & his family plus Isabella raced towards the truck to track down Candace. "Candace!" Everyone let out a loud gasp upon seeing Candace in her frazzle-minded state. "Are you OK?"

She hissed loudly at them. "MINE!" She shouted.

"Candace...you have a problem." Phineas said slowly. "This isn't healthy. Now come down from there and we'll take you home." He took a step towards her.

"NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER SEPARATE ME FROM MY BABIES! THESE ARE MY BABIES!" She screeched. As she cradled the box in her arms, Doofenshmirtz & Vanessa arrived on the scene as well. Perry did as well, but upon seeing the entire Flynn-Fletcher family there, quickly reverted back to his mindless pet state.

Doofenshmirtz ran into the truck with Vanessa to try and quell Candace. "Uh, excuse me, little girl? Yes, hi. Listen, I'm the one that made all this candy, and it was supposed to go out to everyone in the Tri-State Area. So, uh, if you could just exit the truck in a calm, orderly..." He was interrupted when Candace threw one of the boxes at his face, sending him to the ground. The box opened up and candy spilled all over. Something went off in her head.

"MIIIIIIIIIINE!" She screamed as she dove to the ground and started devouring all of the candy that had spilled. Once every piece was picked up, she opened all of the other boxes up and started devouring their candy as well. The taste, as described by Vanessa, was that of "Horse Radish mixed with ice cream that's been out in the sun for three weeks."

But Candace was so hell-bent on getting her fix she ignored the taste for the time being. But the more candy she ate, the more the taste piled up in her mouth, and the more she increased her chances or getting indigestion. But that didn't stop her from devouring as much as she could.

She kept opening box after box consuming pounds and pounds of candy until finally she got down to the last box. She gobbled the candy up in record time until there was only one piece left. But before she could reach for it, she suddenly stopped. Then her cheeks began to get puffy, and without warning, she sprinted out of the truck towards the mailbox which she once hid and started throwing up uncontrollably. It was a good minute before she came back up for air.

"OH MY GOSH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!" She shouted, clearly distraught. "It tastes like Horse Radish mixed with ice cream that's been sitting out in the sun for three weeks!"

"Hey, that's what we said!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. Then Candace resumed throwing up as Doofenshmirtz entered the truck to collect the last piece of candy.

When Candace was finished, she was so exhausted and distraught that Phineas and Ferb had to resort to pulling her out of the mailbox and putting her on the ground. She panted for several moments before finally regaining her breath. It was also with her breath that she regain her common sense. "I HAVE A PROBLEM!" She blared to everyone around her as she started sobbing into Phineas's shirt.

"I'll say you have a problem!" Doofenshmirtz declared angrily, exiting the truck with the candy in his hand. "You left one measly piece of candy! Seriously, if you're going to go on a psychotic rampage and eat all of the candy in the Tri-State Area, at least finish it all! Don't just leave, like, one piece for the rest of us. T-That's just rude!" Then, without thinking, Doofenshmirtz proceeded to eat that particular piece of candy. He chewed and swallowed as if it was no big deal. It was then that he realized what he had just done. "Aww, _dummkopf!_" Then, without warning, his skin turned a very dark brown color. "Aw, no. My skin!" He sighed. "Oh well, this'll wear off eventually...I hope."

He turned to Candace and started shaking his fist like an old person. "Curse you, you ignorant boob! I've always wanted to say that."

* * *

The following day, Candace found herself in the right place: in an AA meeting, the AA standing for "Addicts Anonymous."

"Candace, would you like to go next?"

Candace darted her eyes around quickly, then sighed. She stood up slowly and cleared her throat. "My name is Candace Gertrude Flynn, and I am addicted to candy."

"_Hi Candace!_" The group said simultaneously as she sat back down. The man next to her (Peter Griffin) took her shoulder.

"I am so sorry for you." He said. She turned to him.

"Uh...thank you."

"That middle name of yours is terrible." He said as calmly as possible. Her facial expression quickly turned to anger.

"Peter, it's your turn."

Peter cleared his throat and stood up. "My name is Peter Griffin, and I am addicted to online shopping."

"_Hi Peter_!" Then he sat down.

"Wait, aren't you the guy that burned yourself after they cancelled those Hostess treats?"

"Yeah, that was last week."

"Huh?"

"Last week. I was addicted to cupcakes last week. This week it's online shopping." Just then, his cellphone went off. "Oh, hold on." He answered. "Hello? No, no, I already told the other guy. I ordered those in a size Double X-Large. Yeah, and they sent me a Large. So I called to see who I can talk to about a refund. W-W-What do you mean you don't do refunds!? It was your mistake in the first place, now you're telling me you're not gonna own up to it? Well, sir, I'll have you know I cancelled my credit card yesterday, so you're not getting a cent out of me! OK, well thank you. Goodbye." He hung up the phone, then stood up. "Well, everybody, I have to go."

"But we're just starting." Candace said.

"Yeah, but the guy on the other line just threatened my family, so I gotta go file a police report. Think I might grab a cupcake on the way." He walked towards the door and opened it to leave. Needless to say that everybody in the room was a little confused over what had happened.

**End of Episode 63!**

**WOW! I cannot believe that it took me this long to finish. Sorry, everyone. That's what happens when you start going to college. You have to prioritize, and unfortunately, this was at the bottom of the list. But with summer here once again I might be able to get some more in. Not guaranteeing anything since I'm currently looking for a part time job. But this story is still alive and I have no intention of ending it anytime soon, especially with "Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel" just a couple of months away!**

**Remember to Read & Review!**


	81. 64: Game Over!

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 64: Game Over**

**Episode Summary********************************************: On a rainy day, Phineas & Ferb create the most exciting, thrilling, adrenaline-pumping video game the world has ever seen. But a freak lightning strike traps them inside the game, and the only way for them to get out is to win the game. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plan to take over the World Wide Web and spread his message of evil to the entire Tri-State Area interferes with the game.********  
**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

It was a rainy and miserable day in Danville. Because of the rain, Phineas and Ferb couldn't go outside to do their newest project. So they had to settle for indoors. They began by watching some TV, but that quickly grew boring. As they were, their father walked into the room. "Hello boys." He said cheerily. "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV." Phineas answered in a somewhat gloomm-filled tone. "The rain cancelled our project for the day."

"Well there's other things you could do on a rainy day. You could play a video game."

"Video games aren't really our thing, Dad."

"Perhaps, but it's better than watching TV looking bored all day, isn't it?"

"I suppose."

"Come with me, boys. Let me show you something." He led them downstairs into the basement. He pulled out what appeared to be a gaming control system recent years. "See boys, back in my day, video games consisted of a tiny central box and cruddy graphics. Now a' days you have these fancy systems that actually put in the game and make you the controller and what not."

"Well, actually, you're not really _in_ the game. The game system just copies your image and downloads it into the game to make you think you're actually in the game. But the movements are often stiff and the camera loses you more often than not. Although..." Phineas started thinking really hard. "It would be cool if you could actually put yourself into the game. The experience would be ten times as fun!" He looked at Ferb. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

So they got to work. They designed their own gaming system with their own controllers, and then got to work on designing their own game. The entire process took about a half hour. When they were done, they invited all of their friends over to their house to unveil their surprise.

"Thanks for coming over on such short notice, everyone." Phineas said to everyone in the room.

"Boy, I've never seen you more excited on a rainy day, Phineas." Isabella remarked. "What's the occasion?"

"It's time for us to beat the rainy day blues once and for all. So...we've created the ultimate video game!"

"Didn't we already do that?" Buford pondered.

"Yes, I believe Buford is correct. You created a video game last summer that digitally inserted you into the game. Remember? Buford was the boss."

"Not exactly. Last time we merely took an ordinary video game and made it better. This time we've created an entirely new video game. One that combines elements that we feel represent each of you best, such as heroism," Isabella gasped. "puzzle-solving," Baljeet gasped. "mindless violence," Buford gasped. "adventure," Phineas pointed to himself. "stealth," He pointed to Ferb; Ferb merely gave a thumbs-up. "And mystery...for Irving. Where is he anyway?"

"I say we start the game without him."

"Well, he could always jump in later if he gets here. OK, everyone. Stand on the digitizing platforms." Everyone took their positions. "Ferb? Would you please do the honors?"

Ferb pulled out a tiny remote with a single button on it. Ferb pressed the button, and the kids all soon found themselves being teleported out of the living room and literally into the television. Soon enough they found themselves in the video game, set in a futuristic environment with rundown, damaged buildings, lousy pavement, and dark skies. All of the kids let out "ooh's" and "ahh's".

"It's so pretty." Isabella said. "Even if it's supposed to look ugly."

"So what exactly is the goal of this game?" Baljeet asked.

"Basically we've set our game in a futuristic utopia that's become rundown due to a malicious tyrant stealing the energy core that makes this place shine & sparkle."

"I feel obligated to bring this up, but you do understand that isn't how a utopia functions, right?" Baljeet asked, killing the mood & irritating Buford.

"You know, if you're going to be "that guy" all day I'd rather play with Irving."

"I am merely making a point."

"Anywho, our job is to take down this tyrant and set things right. Along the way we'll have to rescue some of the citizens of this utopia, solve incredibly challenging puzzles, find clues to figure out the identity of the tyrant, all leading up to one final ultimate battle where we steal back the core and banish the tyrant once and for all!"

"So...what exactly do we do now?" Isabella asked.

"Well first we need to show you guys where we're ultimately headed." Phineas turned their attention towards the city. He pointed out the tallest building noticeable. "See that tall building out there? That's where the core to this city's power lies. And that's where we're headed."

"It is so far away." Baljeet remarked.

"Yeah. It's gonna take all of our resources plus a musical montage just to get there."

"I don't know about the music, but we're more than capable of getting there and winning this game. Now who's with me?" Phineas asked, everybody raised their hands and shouted out. "That's the spirit! Now before we get moving, Ferb and I just need to explain a few things. First off, you see the bars over your heads?"

All of the kids looked up and noticed a green rectangular bar encased in another rectangular bar that spanned about double the width of their bodies. Right beneath that was a tinier yellow bar that spanned the length of the green bar. "That's your health bar. As you take damage in battle, your health bar drops. If it drops all the way, you die."

The kids let out concerned gasps.

"But don't worry. We each have 3 lives, so if you lose all your health, you just lose a life. Lose all three lives and it's Game Over for you, and you're teleported back to the real world."

"What's the yellow bar for?" Isabella asked.

"Glad you asked. First of all, I'm surprised none of you have yet noticed you're all wearing battle suits."

All of the kids took a good look at their own bodies, and they discovered they were all wearing battle suits with secondary colors to match their personalities (black for Buford, blue for Baljeet, pink for Isabella, orange for Phineas, and green for Ferb)

"Your battle suits give you incredible combat abilities and special attacks to use in battle or on a specific mission. We call this bar the "Power Bar". As you use your special abilities, your Power Bar is drained. As you don't use them, the bar slowly refills, so we have to be careful with how we use them. If you ever want to check on your status, there's a built-in watch in your suits that displays your health, power, and the current time. Because when do you not want to know that?"

"I must admit I am impressed." Baljeet remarked. "You guys have thought of a lot for this game. Perhaps it could be a lot of fun after all."

"Nobody likes a kiss-up, nerd." Buford said flatly, irking Baljeet.

"What kind of abilities do we have?"

"We're actually not entirely sure about that. We wanted to give you guys abilities that were tied to your personalities, but admittedly we couldn't quite get over that hump. It's one of those things where "you'll know when the time is right."

"That's weak." Buford retorted.

"And now for the best part. The tyrant's emotionally scarring back story." Phineas officially turned the talking over to Ferb, who cleared his throat and began.

"When he was younger, the other children wouldn't let him play on the slide at the local park."

_(Cue Flashback)_

_At the park, there is a long line waiting at the big slide. One kid (who is pictured as a silhouette since his identity is yet revealed is trying to get on the line, but the other kids won't let him.  
_

_"NO!" They shouted towards him, causing him to sulk._

_(End Flashback)_

Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet exchanged looks towards Phineas & Ferb, looking slightly confused. "That's it?" Isabella piped up.

"What? Not all emotionally scarring back stories have to be long. But it's still a back story. And all evil villains have at least one emotionally scarring back story, right?" (******A/N: That bit was a jab at the episode "De Plane! De Plane!"**)

* * *

**_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_**

Meanwhile, Perry, wearing a poncho no less, was on his way to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair when he received a message on his watch from Major Monogram. "Agent P, we've just received intel that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is planning to hack the world wide web in order to gain control of the digital masses and spread his message of evil. You have to stop him before he succeeds. I cannot lose my FanFiction. Not now! I'm almost done writing the last chapter!"

"_You write FanFiction too?"_ Carl said off-screen. "_That's a relief. I thought I was the only one.__"_

"Carl!"

Agent P turned off his watched and returned his focus to the task at hand. He arrived at the building and scaled up the wall, being careful not to be seen. But when he reached the ledge that led into Doofenshmirtz's lair, he found Doofenshmirtz standing there with a poncho on waiting for him.

"Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected surprise. Come in, I made tea." Doofenshmirtz started to make his way inside, only to find that Perry wasn't following. He appeared a bit confused. "What? No, I'm not going outside. My evil scheme is in here. You know I don't do evil schemes outside in the rain anymore. Not since my scheme to stand alone in a field with a metal pole left me in intensive care for a month." He shuddered. "I can still feel the burns." **(A/N: That was a reference to "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbstein")** "Anywho, since you're here, why don't you come inside and stay for awhile?" He went inside with Perry following closely.

Once inside, he went to his computer. "Anyway, I'm sure Major Monogram told you some asinine story about how I'm trying to hack the world wide web from here or something a-and I can assure you that is not true." He then took out a remote from his pocket and pressed a button on it. From the ceiling a hollow computer screen fell. However, instead of trapping Perry inside of it, it accidentally crushed Perry. Doofenshmirtz was left with his jaw on the ground. "PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" He immediately dropped the remote and picked up the screen. Luckily, Perry wasn't hurt. He was merely pissed. Doofenshmirtz chuckled nervously. "Y-Yeah. Sorry about that. I-I don't know what that was."

Quickly he ran to another room and came back with a cage, which he promptly, yet slowly, placed over Perry to trap him. "Yeah, l-let's just...let's just go with that. Anywho, I'm not going to sit at my computer and try to hack into the world wide web. No, what I'm going to do is digitize myself so that I can personally go "inside the internet" as the young people would call it, and travel to the center of the world wide web! How, you ask? Simple. With this!" He picked up his remote and pressed another button on it. Slowly from the ceiling came what appeared to be a giant holographic projector. "The digitizer 4000...inator."

"And _why_ am I going through all this, you ask? Because I want to spread my message of evil to everybody in the Tri-State Area! Let's face it, who _doesn't_ own a phone or a computer or any electronic device for that matter? You know, besides Regis Philbin. My point being, I figured with technology rapidly developing and consuming our generations, the technological approach was easily the best course of action for me to take! Do you want to see my message of evil?" Perry shook no. "Of course you do. NORM!"

Norm instantly stepped into the room. "Yes?"

"Would you show Perry the Platypus my "message of evil?"

"Sure thing, poppa."

"And I'm not your father!"

Norm produced from his chest compartment a small TV screen, whose screen turned to static before playing the video. However, instead of it being a message of evil, it was Doofenshmirtz's old high school video.

"_I am a superstar!_" High school Doofenshmirtz shouted before tripping and finally face-first into the toilet. Flushing sounds and splashing are heard. "_I-It won't stop flushing!"_

"Norm! That's the wrong video!" Doofenshmirtz screamed at Norm. "And I told you to delete all copies of that!" He took a deep breath to recompose himself. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Perry the Platypus." He turned to his nemesis, only to find him trying desperately not to laugh. "Perry the Platypus! A-Are you laughing? Oh, I see. This is payback for me accidentally crushing you with a computer screen, isn't it? Then again, I suppose that video was played by accident as well..."

"Nope. I planned the whole thing." Norm said.

"Quiet, Norm! Whose side are you on?"

* * *

Back in the game, Phineas, Ferb, and friends started to make their way into the utopia city. "So now what do we do?" Isabella asked.

"Well, more than anything figuring out the identity of this tyrant would be beneficial."

"Wait a moment. You gave him an emotionally scarring back story - albeit a short one - yet you didn't give him an identity?" Baljeet protested.

"We didn't say we didn't give him an identity. We said we needed to figure it out. Hey, we have to leave something up to surprise for you guys."

"I still say your logic is askew." Baljeet said again. But as Buford was about to let out a retort, the gang heard a faint scream in the distance.

"Sounds like someone is in trouble." Phineas said. "Come on, let's go!" He and the rest of the kids, with the exception of Buford, started running towards the sound. Buford, meanwhile, lifted his arms and pointed them towards the sky, mimicking flight. He stood there for a good few seconds before Phineas came back. "Buford, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get my suit to fly." He responded bluntly.

"Yeah, nobody can fly in this game."

"What? You mean I'm standing here like this for nothing?"

"That would be right."

"Aw man! That's just whack."

The kids arrived at the scene and there they discovered a young family with three little kids being threatened by what appeared to be one of the game's minor villains. It looked like an adult-sized robot figure completely covered in silicon. It did not have a face. "What is that thing?" Buford asked upon arrival.

"I guess this is one of the tyrant's henchmen." Phineas said. "And he's terrorizing that family."

"The kids looked so scared." Isabella said.

"Then let's kick its butt!" Buford shouted, holding out his hand forward. Before he could react, he found his hand producing a brown light, the color matching the secondary color of his suit. The light quickly took the form of a mallet before turning 3-dimensional. "Whoa! A mallet. Weird. I was expecting a bulldozer. But this works too." He took the mallet with both of his hands and charged towards the silicon robot, screaming his head off. He slammed it down with all his might and smashed the robot. The family, along with the others, erupted in cheers.

"Buford, that was great!" Phineas shouted in admiration. "You sure taught that menace a lesson."

"I'm not really sure what I did anyway." Buford admitted.

"Remember when I told you earlier we'd all have to take a "wait and see" approach with your powers? Well, they're gonna start coming out now. The suit is neurologically connected to your brain, so all you need to do is think of something and the suit will produce that action or item for you. All of your skill sets are based around your personality. So for example, Buford's able to conjure up tools and actions that revolve around mindless violence, such as a mallet."

"Then that means I am basically useless." Baljeet said, visibly dejected.

"Not true, Baljeet. Your powers are based around your extreme intellect and logical analysis. You can help out with difficult puzzles or riddles. Isabella's powers are based around defense, as in trying to protect the weaker towns people from harm. Ferb's are around tools revolving around construction or deconstruction...or spy gear, whichever comes first. Mind consist of a little bit of everything from you guys."

"Why that?" Isabella asked.

"I couldn't decide what type of character I wanted."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" The mother of the family they had just saved shouted as she ran over to them. "Thank you for saving us from that despicable creature."

"Anytime, ma'am. We're happy to help."

"Mind if we ask you when all of this started?" Isabella asked.

"Oh, it's been years. Before he took over, there was peace and harmony in our city. We didn't need a leader. We were able to take care of ourselves. Besides, the master core controlled all of our power and was digitally programmed to solve any problems that arose. But then "he" took over."

"And who is _he_?"

"He's never revealed his name to us. Every time we see him he is wearing a black hoodie to cover his face, and his voice is distorted so you can identify him there. Nobody has any idea who he is, but we fear him immensely. When he stepped in, he reprogrammed the central core to spread gloom and despair. No one around here has the courage to stand up to him and set things right."

"But we do! Don't worry, ma'am. We'll stop him and set everything right again."

"_**Good luck with** **that!**_" A voice boomed throughout the town, scaring everyone off of their feet. They all turned to the source of the noise; they looked behind them and saw that the "tyrant" was pictured on the wall of one of the buildings, wearing a black hoodie and all to conceal his identity.

"Phineas, is that..."

"Yes Isabella. That's our enemy."

_**"I see that we have some unwelcome visitors in my little kingdom here!"**_

"This isn't a kingdowm! It's a city, and it belongs to everyone."

_**"How dare you question my authority, child! You will pay for your insolence!" **_

"Not if we stop you first!"

_**"Good luck, child. I'd like to see you try! You think this is gloomy right now? Just wait. In 30 minutes, the central core will be fully reprogrammed, and gloom will be spread throughout the city for all eternity! If you think you can stop me before then, then by all means, try! But I warn you...do not underestimate me!"**_

* * *

Back at Doofenshmirtz's lair, Doofenshmirtz was just about ready to digitize himself. "And now, Perry the Platypus! Watch, as I put my plan into fruition." He pressed a button on the remote he was holding to activate his -inator. Unfortunately, as the -inator fired, outside where it was still raining, multiple lighting bolts struck. One of them hit the room of the building, thus causing his -inator to overload. As a result, the blast became far too strong, not only sucking Doofenshmirtz into the internet but also Perry. Norm, strangely, was unaffected.

* * *

Back in the game, the lightning had also hit the Flynn-Fletcher home. This caused the game to begin malfunctioning. The game setting suddenly turned extremely malicious. The sky turned a bright orange, as the ground began shaking. In the distance, lava began to spurt up from the ground.

_**"This entire utopia will be destroyed by my hands!"**_The tyrant's voice suddenly sounded even more malicious and vindictive than previously. _**"In 30 minutes, this entire world will be destroyed, and you'll be destroyed with it! Enjoy your last minutes alive!"**_With that message delivered, he disappeared from the screen, leaving the kids to ponder.

"Didn't he just say he would fill this world with gloom?" Isabella asked. "Why is he suddenly changing objectives?"

"It is a mystery." Baljeet replied as he checked his suit, which all of a sudden displayed a timer preset for 30 minutes.

"I think it has something to do with that lightning strike our house just had." Phineas answered.

"How do you know your house was hit by lightning?" Baljeet asked.

"Well, we _are_ in the middle of a thunder storm, so it seemed like the most logical answer. Whatever the case, something is definitely wrong with this game. We wanted to make it adventurous and exciting, but this has more of a life-threatening/angst feel to it."

"Not to alarm anyone, but I feel like my bladder's starting to give out." Buford said, to which almost everyone expressed faces of disgust.

"No worries. We can pause the game until you get back." Phineas said; Ferb took out a remote and pressed a button, to which the action was meant to pause the game and allow Buford to leave. But after a few seconds, nothing happened. Everyone seemed confused. "Huh, that's weird."

"What happened?"

"OK, something definitely isn't right here. You should've been teleported out of the game and everything should've paused. Instead, nothing. I'm getting the feeling that the lightning strike did more than just alter the game. It seems like it also prevented us from leaving the game."

"Leaving? You mean we're stuck here?" Isabella asked, clearly frightened.

"Well I guess if we win the game we get to leave. But until then we're stuck here."

"Then it appears there is only one thing left to do." Ferb concluded. "Let's go win this game."

Ferb's response was met with a moment of silence. But then everyone started cheering. After that, everyone, with the exception of Buford who stood in place with his arms towards the sky again, made a run for the city. After a few seconds, Phineas came back to get Buford. "You're not going to give up on this flying thing, are you?"

* * *

After his -inator fired off, Dr. Doofenshmirtz found himself and Perry inside the internet. Though Doofenshmirtz wasn't fully aware of how close he was to the center of the internet. All he knew was that he was no longer in his lair. "I must be in! Sweet. It's all digital and gigabyte-y. Now all I need to do is find the World Wide Web and I can-" His thoughts were interrupted as Perry came out of nowhere and struck him from behind. "Perry the Platypus! How did you follow me here? Oh well, it doesn't matter. You can't stop me from spreading my message of evil to everyone around the world. So long!"

With that, he took off in the opposite direction, hoping he was going towards the source. Perry, though he too had no idea where he was, had no choice but to follow him. They played Chase for a while before Doofenshmirtz started taking notice of his surroundings. He noticed that there were small white rectangular portals all around him in the internet. "That's strange. I've never seen any of these things before in my entire life. I wonder where they lead."

He decided to fly through one of the portals to find out where they go. To his amazement, when he came out on the other side of the portal, he found himself facing what appeared to be the room of a goth girl. It was black with posters representing the goth trend. "Ugh, I'm in one of those goth rooms." Doofenshmirtz remarked. He then took a good look at his surroundings and realized that he was actually inside a computer screen. "Wait a moment. I'm inside a computer screen. I suppose all those portals lead to different computer screens that have internet connection. I just wonder which loser I stumbled into."

His attitude immediately changed once he discovered he was actually in the room of his daughter Vanessa. He caught her heading towards the computer. He gasped loudly. "Vanessa! O-Oh boy. I can't let her see me like this." Unfortunately he had no way to conceal his identity. As he frantically started running around the screen, trying to find a place to hide, he was caught.

"Dad?" She tapped her computer screen twice to get his attention. He shuddered as he turned to face her. "Should I even ask?"

"Uh...I am a computer virus!" He shouted, completely desperate for a cover story. "I entered your hard drive when you illegally download that song from that group you listen to all the time."

"I don't download _period_." Vanessa countered sternly. "Dad, what are you doing on my computer?"_  
_

Left with nothing to back himself up, Doofenshmirtz headed off the screen the same way he came in. Moments later, Perry followed, coming onto the screen looking for Doofenshmirtz, only to notice Vanessa standing there. "Hey Perry. You just missed him." Perry then noticed the other portal beside him, tipped his hat to Vanessa, and left to follow his nemesis. "Idiots."

* * *

Back inside the game, the gang made their way to the heart of the city and towards the central tower, where all of the chaos was happening. "Here we are guys." Phineas said. "The tower. This is where the central core that runs the city is located."

"It appears that the front is locked." Baljeet said, noting the giant lock on the front gate.

"That's alright, Baljeet." Phineas responded. "We weren't gonna go through the front anyway."

"We weren't?"

"No. Naturally, if the enemy is expecting us, he'd have a contingency plan ready for us in case we were somehow able to get this lock off."

"Just for the record, I would've merely generated a key big enough to fit through the tumblers." Ferb said.

"Yeah, but it's much more sneaky and fun to go around the back. Follow me, guys." Phineas led them all around the back of the tower, where Phineas revealed to them that there was an open window about halfway up the tower. "See? There's a much easier way into the tower than having to struggle with that big old lock."

"But Phineas, would not going through the open window only result in walking into a trap?" Baljeet questioned. "You know, with the front gate being protected by a lock and the window being protected by nothing that we can see from here."

"The way I see it, there are probably guards waiting for us at the front gate. So by their thinking, we'll have wasted all of that time trying to break the lock only to run into some of our tyrant's goons waiting for us. Then they'll lock us up until the clock runs out and this world blows up and we lose the game."

"You know, when you put an unnecessary amount of thought into that statement, it actually makes sense." Buford commented.

"It does not to me!" Baljeet argued.

"We're on a time limit, guys! We gotta get moving!" Phineas interrupted. "Now how are we gonna get up there?"

"I can handle this." Ferb said as he stepped forward and held out his hand towards the window. His suit produced a grappling hook that fired right from his suit to the window. It grabbed on and gave the kids a way to climb up. So they all proceeded to do so. They slowly climbed up the rope and made their way towards the window. When they got to the top, they saw that there was nobody there waiting for them. No guards, no bystanders, nobody.

"That is strange. I was certain there would be guards waiting for us." Baljeet said.

"And that's why you're not leading the charge." Buford smartly remarked.

"OK, now that we're in the tower, we need to find our way to the top floor. That's where we face off against the boss. But we have to hurry." Phineas quickly checked his suit and discovered they had wasted five minutes climbing the tower. "We only have 25 minutes until this video game world melts with us trapped in it."

"Then that presents a problem." Ferb chimed in, as his suit projected a holographic map of the tower. "Based on my findings, there are far too many passages for us to go through in order to reach the top. And I'm fairly confident there are guards at every corner waiting to stall us."

"Then we'll need to find another way. A-A secret passage of sorts."

"There's nothing on the map to indicate that at all."

"Well of course not dummy. It's called a _secret passage_." Buford reiterated, and he was met with agreeing murmurs from the others, including Phineas. This led Ferb to face-slap himself.

"Oh right. Sorry. Sorry. My bad. I-I didn't think that one through."

"Now if I had to guess, I'd say we should find a secret passage hidden in one of these walls."

"Hey guys! I found something!" Isabella shouted down the hall. The friends raced towards her as she reveal a trapdoor on the floor. "It's a trapdoor."

"I don't know, Isabella. It's plugged into the floor, so that kinda leads me to believe we'll only be headed downward instead of upward."

"Well let me go check." Isabella triumphantly ran through the trapdoor and followed the path. She did head in a downward direction like Phineas thought, but eventually she came across a ladder than led up to another trapdoor. "Hey guys! I found something!" She shouted; her voice echoed throughout the corridor. They followed the sound of her voice until they reached the ladder.

"Whoa, cool. A ladder." Phineas said. "Looks like there really is nowhere to go but up. Get it?" He chuckled, trying to get everyone else to laugh with him. But nobody budged. "G-Get it? 'Cause..."up," as in-"

"We get it, dilweed." Buford bluntly replied.

"Right." Phineas sighed. "Let's just go."

They followed the ladder as far as it would take them. At the top they came across another trapdoor leading to another floor. So they followed that one, and then by rechecking their map, they discovered that they gained several floors on the tower, and now they were closer to the top than they were to the bottom.

"Boy, we've gained a lot of ground." Phineas said, checking the map. "We're on the 7th floor. The bad guy is on the 10th floor. And we still have enough time to-"

"_Intruders!_" Came a voice. That voice came from a silicon-covered robot, the very same kind that they fought earlier in the game. "_Surrender! We have you surrounded!_" As he said those words, several other silicon-covered robots appeared around that corner, as well as from behind the kids.

"Phineas! What do we do?" Isabella desperately asked. "We're surrounded."

"This is where we fight! Pick a batch of enemies and take them down!"

And so they did. They all made themselves worthy adversaries to the robots, who put up a big fight against them. They wore down the gang with a long and dragged-out fight, but eventually they were able to get rid of all the robots, though the fight took a clear toll on them all. "Boy, that was tough."

"That was a waste of time." Buford said bluntly.

"So you would rather surrender to the boss rather than try to fight for the peace and prosperity of this city?" Phineas asked.

"No, I mean that it was a waste of time. Look." Buford showed him the clock on his suit, which showed that they only had 15 minutes left. "What'd you think I meant?"

"Well, I-I...*sigh* never mind."

All of a sudden there was faint static heard. "_Hello?_" Followed by a faint voice. They all looked down at their wrist communicators and discovered that - back in the real world - Irving had arrived, and was looking for them.

"Irving?"

"_Phineas? Phineas, where is everybody?"_

"We're all inside the game."

"_Inside the game? What are you talking about?"_

"We created a new game and transported us and all our friends inside the game to play it."

"_When did that happen?"_

"About 15 minutes ago."

"It pays to be on time." Ferb added.

_"I'll get an alarm clock."_ **(A/N: A play on the gag used in the episode "Cranius Maximus") **_"So how can I get in on the action?"_

"We're not sure. We got struck by lightning earlier today. We think the game may have glitched when that happened."

"_So what you're saying is that I need to get hit by lightening to get into the game?"_

"What? No! That's not what I'm-"

_"I'm on it!_" Irving ran out of room without letting Phineas finish his statement. Once Irving got outside, he was immediately struck by lightning. He then came back inside looking slightly overcooked. _"Well, that didn't work."_ And then, Irving collapsed on the floor.

"That guy is 37 different flavors of stupid." Buford remarked.

"Forget Irving. We have to keep moving. There's only so much time left."

So they all started heading towards the top. They passed through the next few floors without much trouble. It was only when they reached the door that led to the final boss that they experienced a setback. "Uh oh..."

* * *

Meanwhile, while still surfing the web, Doofenshmirtz & Perry engaged in a fist fight. While Doofenshmirtz was busy looking for the portal that led directly to the center of the World Wide Web, Perry was able to catch up to him and engage in a battle. They were floating in midair, however, so they were unable to land clean punches on one another.

Frustrated with his inability to find the right portal, Doofenshmirtz eventually decided to just jump through one and see what happened. Perry followed suit. Once they arrived at the other side of the portal, Doofenshmirtz discovered that he was now in the computer of his own brother, Roger, at City Hall.

"Huh? What's this?" He observed his surroundings carefully. It was only after a long look around when he realized where he was. "Wait a minute. I-I'm in City Hall! I'm in my brother Roger's office." It was then it also dawned on him that being in Roger's office also meant he still hadn't found the center of the World Wide Web. "Aw, dummkopf! I've failed again. I still need to find the center of the internet. Although..."

"I suppose finding the World Wide Web is too difficult a task under these weather conditions. So I suppose just spreading my message of evil through the entire Tri-State Area is a nice consolation prize. Now, let's see. How can I spread my message of evil."

Doofenshmirtz began to browse the screen, looking for something that could help him accomplish his goal of spreading his message of evil. Eventually he came up with the idea that he could do so by attaching his video to an email and send it out to everyone in the Tri-State Area. But being a one-man mouse, he had trouble opening up the internet and getting into Roger's emails. Perry ended up getting into the computer as well. "Perry the Platypus! Oh thank goodness you're here. I'm trying to open up a new email so I can attach my message of evil to it and spread it-"

Before he could finish, Perry attacked him, knocking him back. Another fight ensured. This time their fight took them all over the computer screen. They ended up bumping into all of the icons that were on the screen, scrambling them everywhere. But they were so caught up in their fight they did not notice. What they also did not notice was that lightning continued to pound down in Danville. One in particular hit the roof of City Hall, causing a massive outage in the building. Perry and Doofenshmirtz were none the wiser, but as a result of the lightning strike, they were transported out of Roger's computer and to an entirely different console. Unbeknownst to them, they were transported into Phineas and Ferb's video game.

* * *

Speaking of the video game, the gang had come across the door that led to the boss, the person they were supposed to beat in order to win the game. But there was a problem. The door was locked. Worse off, it appeared as though the lock was tied to some sort of brain teaser. They had to solve it correctly in order to unlock the door, and time was slowly passing them by.

"It's a brain teaser." Said Phineas. "And it looks like solving it is the only way to get inside." He then proceeded to read the riddle out loud. "_A man who lives on the tenth floor of a building takes the elevator down to the first floor every morning and goes to work. In the evening, when he comes back, he goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to his apartment. If it is a rainy day, or if there are other people in the elevator, he goes to his floor directly. How is this possible?"_

"Easy. He's Superman." Buford said bluntly without giving anyone else a chance to think.

"Really? _That's_ your response?" Isabella was not impressed.

"What? Superman can do anything."

"The answer is quite obvious. All you have to do is put a little thought into it." Baljeet said. "The man is of short stature."

The others murmured to themselves, questioning the legitimacy of Baljeet's answer.

"It is quite simple. I will explain." Baljeet walked towards the wall next to the door and used his suit to project his response onto the wall. A first button appeared, labelled with the number seven. "The riddle states that he lives on the tenth floor, and when he returns home from work, he goes to the seventh floor then walks up 3 flights. Now why would a reasonable person only stop at the 7th floor only to walk the remaining 3 flights of stairs to his floor? Well, perhaps we can conclude that this man simply cannot reach the 10th floor button on the elevator."

They all gasped.

"Now, if it were a rainy day, a reasonable person would bring an umbrella when they travel outside. So, when he returns home with said umbrella, he can use the handle to reach the 10th floor button, thus removing the need to walk up 3 additional flights of stairs to reach his floor. And of course, if he is riding with other passengers on the elevator, he may merely request assistance from any one of them to press the 10th floor button, also removing the walk up 3 additional flights of stairs."

After taking a moment to digest all of the information Baljeet provided, they all gave him a well deserved round of applause. "Nice going, Baljeet."

"That's genius!"

"Well thought out and clever."

"I like my answer better."

Suddenly, the lock on the door fell off, and it began to open slowly. A light shined in from the room, temporarily blinding the kids.

"It's so bright!" Isabella shouted.

"It's the final level, guys!" Phineas shouted. "Now we confront the tyrant that has brought this city to its knees and defeat him to set it right!"

"Not to mention get the heck out of this dungeon!" Buford added.

So all of the kids slowly walked into the room, readying themselves for the final battle.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry slowly began to wake up from their daze after having been transported from Roger's computer to the game. "Uhhhh...my head hurts..." Doofenshmirtz said. He took a quick glance at his surroundings; he quickly came to the conclusion that he was no longer in Roger's computer. "Where am I? This certainly isn't a computer, that's for sure. No, i-it looks more like a video game of sorts." He looked over to his side to see Perry starting to awaken as well. "Perry the Platypus, did you do this? 'Cause I know I didn't do it. Even I'm not that good..."

"_Stop right there!_" Shouted Phineas after he and friends approached the end of the room. Since neither Phineas nor Ferb ever gave the boss an official identity, they had absolutely no reason to believe that anything was amiss when they saw Doofenshmirtz standing there. Perry, meanwhile, was able to revert to "mindless pet" form just before anybody saw him. "Your days of tyranny over this fair city are over!"

"Wha...?" Doofenshmirtz had no idea what Phineas was talking about. "Who are you people? What are you doing? What's going on?"

"Don't try and play dumb with us, tyrant!" He bellowed. "You've brought this city to its knees. You've terrified all of its citizens...all for what? For some sick kicks? How evil could that be?"

"You're not so tough!" Isabella added.

Doofenshmirtz basically scratched his head the entire time they were berating him; he hadn't the slightest clue. Not even Perry had a clue. Not even the bellowing sound of a computer voice could help him.

"_Attention: Total meltdown of city to commence in T-minus 60 seconds."_ The central core was beginning to melt down, leaving this as the kids' only chance to win the game.

"Did you hear that, guys? This is it...our only chance to win this game and set everything right."

"Do you have a plan, Phineas?" Isabella asked. "Because we're kinda pressed for time here."

"I say we just charge at him and hit him with everything we've got and hope for the best." Phineas responded. "Get ready guys...on my cue..."

"I tell you, I have absolutely no idea what is going on here!" Doofenshmirtz spoke honestly.

"CHARGE!" Phineas shouted, and all of them started screaming & charging right at Doofenshmirtz. Doofenshmirtz decided to just go with it, and then started charging at the kids as well. But just as they were about to clash and collide, yet another lightning bolt hit the Flynn-Fletcher home. This one was stronger than the other ones combined; as a result of it, everyone inside the video game was transported out of the game and back to the real world. The kids & Perry were returned to their home while Doofenshmirtz was returned to his lair.

The kids were all returned lying on their backs, completely exhausted. Phineas was the first to arise. "Hey...w-what happened?" He asked as all of his friends also rose up. "D-Did we win?"

"I don't know." Isabella replied. "All I remember is a white blinding light just as we were about to go into combat."

"Me too." Buford agreed.

"As do I." So did Baljeet.

"How strange."

"In hindsight, this ending is rather appropriate." Ferb said. "A strange ending to a strange game."

"Yeah, that really wasn't one of our better activities." Phineas conceded. "Sorry, guys."

"I don't know. It was kinda fun." Isabella admitted. "It certainly beat sitting on the couch doing nothing in the rain. Although now that we're done with the game, I kinda feel like just sitting on the couch doing nothing."

"How about we pop in a movie?" Buford suggested.

"Great idea." Phineas said. "Why don't you guys pick out a movie and I'll go heat up the popcorn." Phineas turned and started heading for the kitchen.

"I'll keep a seat warm for you until you get back..." Isabella said lovingly, giggling afterwards. Phineas then turned to face her again.

"You're talking about the couch, right?" He asked, but she wouldn't answer. She simply rolled her eyes with a smile on her face and went to help pick out a movie, leaving Phineas blushing as he went to make the popcorn.

"By the way, what are we doing about Irving?" Buford asked, pointing out Irving, who was still lying on the ground after getting struck by lightning earlier. Nobody, however, would offer up a response. The only thing heard was a faint "Oh there you are Perry" from Phineas in the kitchen, followed by Perry's signature noise.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz was left to wallow in his own filth, still questioning what exactly transpired.

"OK, I don't know what any of that was about back there," He said, referring to the strange events leading to him being transported into a video game and then back to his lair. "But I know it's Perry the Platypus's fault somehow. So, _curse you Perry the Platypus!_"

**End of Episode 64!**

**Happy belated 4th of July! So, I'm going for a job interview at Dunkin Donuts on Monday, hoping to land a part-time job. If I do, of course my updates won't be nearly as quick as the last few have been. But I'm still working hard on these and loving every second of them. Keep checking my profile page for any updates on what episodes might be coming soon and what I am brainstorming on.**

**And always remember to R x R!**


	82. 65a: Role Reversal

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 65a: Role Reversal**

**Episode Summary********************************************: As part of an experiment, Phineas and Ferb switch roles for the day. So naturally chaos ensues. Meanwhile, Dr. Doofenshmirtz schemes to be the first to snag a picture of celebrity Kim Kardashian's new baby and selling it for millions.********  
**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Another beautiful day in Danville, another crazy project by Phineas & Ferb. They were merely in the beginning stages when their friends began to pile in. First was Isabella, who came in from the kitchen of the home. "Good morning, Ferb." She said cheerfully.

"Good morning." But it was Ferb who responded rather than Phineas, though Isabella ignored it and went over to Phineas.

"Good morning, cute stuff." She said flirtatiously as she lightly tapped his rear end once. He looked back at her and smiled, but didn't say anything. Isabella found this slightly concerning. "So...What'cha doin'?"

"It's a surprise. You will have to wait for our other friends to arrive." Ferb said. At that very moment, Baljeet, Buford, and Irving walked in.

"Hello, friends." Baljeet said.

"S'up."

"I am here also."

"Ah, look, brother. It's our friends, here to partake in our daily adventures that defy the laws of physics and/or gravity." Ferb said again, this time gaining a nod from Phineas.

"OK, what's going on?" Isabella asked, clearly annoyed. "This is totally upside-down. Ferb has been talking since I got out here and Phineas hasn't said a word."

Both Phineas and Ferb exchanged looks, and then Ferb nodded towards his brother, and finally Phineas would get his say. "Well, today Ferb and I performing an experiment. Have you ever noticed both of us have a specific niche that makes us unique? I talk a lot and Ferb uses actions to get his message out. Today when we woke up, I proposed the idea switching that up with Ferb, and he agreed. Ferb will be the guy that talks a lot and I'll be the man of action."

"Wait, when did this happen?" Isabella asked.

"This morning, when you were still asleep, Isabella."

"Wait, _you_ woke up before I did? Wow. That is...quite amazing actually."

"Not really." Baljeet responded. "The concept of "role reversal" has been-"

"No, I meant Phineas waking up before me. Usually he's snoring so loudly he can't even hear his own alarm clock, so I have to wake him up myself."

"And I like it when she wakes me up..." Phineas said with a smirk as he placed his hands on his hips.

"Are you guys fighting?" Irving asked.

"No."

"Are you in the middle of a bet?" Buford asked.

"No."

"Then what is the purpose of this?" Baljeet asked.

"We just wanted to see what it was like to live in the other's shoes." Ferb responded. "Why must everything have a purpose behind it? Can we not just enjoy things for what they are?" He sighed, leaving the door open for Phineas.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was sliding down his tubes towards his lair when suddenly the tubes ended, leaving Perry in a free-for-all. Eventually he found more tubes, but by that point his trajectory was so far off he ended up crashing into them. As a result, he hit the floor really hard and had to drag himself into his lair through the door. There, he found that his place was completely in shambles. Water spewing out everywhere, equipment wrecked, dirt tracked, and...a horse trapped in a bookcase? Uh, OK.

He also saw Monogram sweeping gently near his chair with a distorted smile on his face sweating bullets. "G-Good morning, Agent P." He said. "Sorry about the mess. Carl will give you your mission today." Perry walked over to the monitor, and on popped Carl.

"Hi, Agent P. Look at me! I'm Major Monogram today!" Carl said excitedly. Perry looked over at Monogram. He was confused.

"Sorry. It's uh, "Role Reversal" day at the O.W.C.A. Carl and I have to switch places, so he gets to do all the fun things like tell you your mission while I get stuck doing the lame jobs like sweeping and figuring out how the use all of his equipment." He turned to the screen. "By the way, is it a good thing or a bad thing when you press a button on a printer and it suddenly bursts into flames?"

Carl smacked his forehead and groaned. "Moving on. Agent P, we've received intel that Kim Kardashian has just given birth to a baby girl. There were swarms of paparazzi surrounding the hospital in which she gave birth."

"I heard this rumor that she and Kanye named the baby "North." I'm sorry, what kind of name is that? 'North West?' Are they trying to scar her for life?" Monogram ranted.

"Anywho, Doofenshmirtz apparently tracked her down and is now on his way to that hospital to get an exclusive first picture of that newborn baby." Perry raised an eyebrow, failing to see the urgency of the mission. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Agent P, everyone knows that there are only two things that paparazzi value more than anything - even life itself: celebrity gossip that can either irreversibly damage their image or self esteem, and celebrity baby photos, especially newborn baby photos. Amateur photographers that get lucky to snap even one photo of a celebrity baby gather all the power. These things can go like hotcakes for hundreds, even millions of dollars at times."

"If Doofenshmirtz gets a photo of that baby and sells it, he could rake in some huge cash. And there's only one thing that can come out of a combination of Doofenshmirtz and money: evil. And not like his normal evil. I mean, like, _super_ evil. Think about it. That money could help finance an incredibly evil -inator or something. You have to get out there and stop him from taking that picture!"

Perry saluted and went on his way, carefully avoiding the horse trapped within the bookcase as he left.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say Agent P was afraid of that horse." Carl said.

"You'd think he'd never seen a horse in a bookcase before."

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb were ready to unveil their newest project. "Today," Ferb began. "We are going to be racing...snails."

"Racing snails? That's your big idea?" Buford protested angrily.

"These aren't just any ordinary snails. We have equipped these particular snails with technology that allows them to race at speeds reaching 40 miles per hour. To these snails, that's like double the speed of light."

"I guess that's not so bad."

"And the best part is..." Ferb reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be joysticks. "_We_ have total control over them."

At this point, Buford's eyes lit up as he raced over to grab one of the controllers. "Give me that! What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

So Phineas & Ferb led them all to a pre-built race track that fit the snails' size & speed needs. It was big enough to emulate the feel of a NASCAR race but not so big that they would require an extended length of time to complete the race. Then Ferb handed each of them their very own snail and a joystick. "Go take your marks at the starting line. The first race shall begin momentarily."

So they all got ready to begin their race. At the starting line, Isabella decided to get a quick word with Phineas. "You know Phineas, I have to admit that I'm impressed. I wasn't really sure you could pull this character switch off, but you're doing a great job so far."

In response, Phineas nodded, which slightly annoyed Isabella.

"You know, even Ferb has a couple of lines every now and then."

Phineas nodded again, angering Isabella even more.

"OK, now I'm starting to get a little annoyed. It's fine when Ferb doesn't talk because he, you know, doesn't talk. But you always have something to say. Besides, I love that beautiful voice of yours that serenades me all the time..." Phineas started blushing at this remark, but again he didn't say anything. "Really? Still nothing? Ugh!" She sighed and walked back to her position at the starting line.

Ferb walked by. "She's definitely a stubborn one isn't she?" He said to Phineas. Phineas responded by making a "cuckoo" gesture.

"I saw that!"

* * *

Perry found the hospital in which Kim Kardashian had given birth to her new child. Just outside the front entrance was a large group of paparazzi waiting to get that exclusive first picture. Dr. Doofeshmirtz, however, was at the back of the hospital, where there were far less paparazzi waiting to get in. He was stowed away in Norm who was disguised as a minivan. Out of nowhere, Perry came up and landed on the hood of the van, surprising Doofenshmirtz.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz said in surprise. "What a nice surprise." All of a sudden, Perry found himself cuffed to the hood of the car by now, unable to move his webbed feet. "Thanks, Norm. So Perry the Platypus, I assume you've heard the great news. Kim Kardashian has finally given birth to a new baby girl! Isn't that great? You know, I've been hearing this weird rumor that she and Kanye named it "North." C-Can you believe that? 'North West.' Like, t-that's just asking for an emotionally-scarring childhood. And I should know about an emotionally-scarring childhood."

"Anyway, there are only two things paparazzi people love more than anything, even life itself: celebrity gossip that can either irreversibly damage their image or self esteem, and celebrity baby photos. And there are no better celebrity baby photos in existence than those of newborns. Babies are always the hottest commodities in the paparazzi world. Just go ask this one family. They've got, like, 20 of them! Anyway, most of these photographers are going to try and get that pitcher so they can make some cheap money off of them. And that is why I am here too."

"Behold, Perry the Platypus..." Doofenshmirtz ripped off his signature lab coat to reveal regular scrubs, the kind doctors wear. "Now I really _am_ a doctor! Here's my plan: I'm going to pose as one of the doctors in that hospital because, you know, doctors obviously work there and I would blend right in. I'll use my position to sneak into Kardashian's room in order to snag a photo of that baby before anybody else. Then, once I'm inside, I will utilize..." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out what appeared to be an ordinary camera. "I call it the "Capture-Slash-Stunner-inator." A long pause, as Doofenshmirtz waited for dramatic music. "No? No dra - *sigh* OK, then."

"The beauty about this thing, Perry the Platypus, is that it's both a stun gun _and_ a camera built into one. There's a little switch right here in the back that controls which setting it is on. When I get up to the room and get my chance, I will use the camera setting to take that glorious picture of that baby before anyone else does. 'Cause you know, while celebrity baby photos are all the rage, it's the original source that always gets the top prize. That's why I want to be the first one there. I plan on selling that picture on the internet to the highest bidder. I-I don't even care who it is, as long as I make my money."

"And what will I do with this new money, you may ask? Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't really worked out all the details yet. I-It's just that my alimony check from Charlene isn't coming for a couple of weeks and I could really use the extra cash. Well, that's enough of that. I must be on my way. The press will be allowed into the room in approximately ten minutes, and I'm going to get a head start. I'm going to be a millionaire!" He cackled loudly as he walked away and headed for the front entrance.

As Doofenshmirtz said, the paparazzi was gathered around the front, waiting for the chance to go to Kim Kardashian's room. But Doofenshmirtz was able to make his way through the crowd. "Excuse me! Pardon me, doctor coming through. Out of my way, I am a doctor!" The paparazzi were not amused.

"Hey, what's the big idea, man?" One photographer said to Doofenshmirtz.

"In case you didn't notice the scrubs, I am a doctor at this here establishment." He lied through his teeth. "I have a very important matter to deal with concerning Ms. Kardashian."

The paparazzi pondered it for a moment, but eventually they bought it. "Well, I guess that's fair." One said.

"How can you not trust a doctor wearing scrubs?"

"Can't argue with that logic."

"Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me..." But just as Doofenshmirtz was about to enter the establishment, a real doctor came out the front door in an apparent panic.

"Oh, doctor!" He immediately said to Doofenshmirtz. "Thank goodness you're here. We have an emergency."

"Oh, uh...uh..."

"One of our patients requires triple bypass surgery, and our regular surgeon is running late!"

"Oh well, uh...I-I'm sorry to hear about your problem, but..." Without time to react, Doofenshmirtz was grabbed by the wrist and rushed to the O.R., screaming all the way there. "But...y-you don't understand. I-I'm not actually a surgeon. I'm just-"

"Nonsense! You look like a surgeon. That's good enough for me."

"Well, er...O-OK..." Doofenshmirtz chuckled nervously before taking a big gulp, showing off his fried nerves.

* * *

Meanwhile, the snail races had commenced, and all the kids seemed to have fun. That is, until a situation arised. Baljeet's snail accidentally collided with Buford's snail, forcing them both out of the race. Outraged, Buford walked over to Phineas dragging Baljeet with him.

"Yo, Dilweed!" Buford shouted. "I got a complaint here! Baljeet sabotaged my snail!"

"I did not." Baljeet retorted. "My snail had a faulty engine and lacked the proper amount of fuel to complete the race. If anything, I summize that Buford was the one that sabotaged me."

"What? I did not, and I am offended you would stoop to such an accusation!"

"Well it would not surprise me in the least-"

"Oh so you're calling me a dirty cheat now!"

"I have not-"

Buford and Baljeet's arguing was interrupted by Phineas, who sounded a blow horn to get their attention. He didn't say anything which left Buford & Baljeet pondering. "Well?" Buford said. "What do you say?"

Phineas walked over to both snails and examined them thoroughly, checking to make sure that there was no foul play involved. His examination determined that no such foul play existed from either side. So Phineas made a gesture to them that indicated there was no foul play; he mimicked an umpire "safe" call to do so. But, both Buford and Baljeet were stumped.

"So what? You're not gonna do it?" Buford asked. Phineas, visibly frustrated, slapped his forehead with his palm. He shook his head furiously and repeated the gesture several times at a quicker pace, but still nothing. Ferb came over to see if he could help.

"He's saying that there was no foul play involved." Ferb said, and even though that was the end of that, Buford still disagreed, evidenced by his walking away muttering to himself. Once Phineas & Ferb were alone, the latter spoke up again. "You know, nobody's forbidding you from speaking at all. I only keep to myself because I just feel more comfortable not speaking."

Phineas shrugged his shoulders. Ferb shook his head, groaned, and left him alone. Then Isabella walked into the scene and walked over to Phineas. She believed she had a great plan to get him to spit out a few words, so she got behind him , and then reached out to grab his rear end and started scratching it. Phineas's eyes opened widely, expressing surprise that Isabella would perform such a task in public.

"Look Phineas." She said flirtatiously. "I'm scratching your butt...your big, firm butt...in public. You told me not to do this in public. Isn't there anything you'd like to say?" She changed her glance to Phineas's face, and she was surprised to find that not only was he not upset about it, he appeared as though he was enjoying it. For a while, he said nothing, until he finally did.

"Could you get the other one too." He said, referring to the scratching. He closed his eyes and placed his hands on his hips as Isabella obliged, but she was visibly frustrated.

"Really? I'm violating your privacy in public by displaying an outburst of my physical attraction to you, even saying outloud how big and firm your butt is, and that's all you have to say to me?" Halfway through her rant, she stopped scratching. When she did, Phineas opened his eyes again and turned to face her, clearly disappointed.

"I didn't say stop." He responded. This time Isabella's eyes widened, and while she was still frustrated with his lack of words, she blushed and giggled quietly at the thought of scratching his rear end in public. So, she obliged - this time using both hands to scratch both butt cheeks - and Phineas went back to enjoying it. In the background, Baljeet & Buford could only express disgust, while Ferb & Phineas gave each other thumbs-up.

* * *

Back at the hospital, Doofenshmirtz finally got out of the O.R. completely covered in blood. The surgery he was just involved in did not end well, mostly because Doofenshmirtz had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

But now that he was finally out, he seized his chance to get to Kim Kardashian's room. He went relatively unnoticed until he got up to the room. He saw a guard standing outside the door. He walked casually up to the guard. "I'm a doctor." He said bluntly, and surprisingly he was allowed to enter the room. Inside, he found Kim Kardashian in bed holding a swaddled baby in her arms and Kanye West at her bedside.

"Hello, Mrs. Kardashian." He said. "I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I'm just here to do some post-birth check up on you and your baby." Doofenshmirtz also noticed other doctors in the room. "Uh, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave the room for a while."

"What? Why?" One doctor asked.

"You know, standard procedures and such."

"No it is. There is nothing in the handbook that-"

"Alright, you wanna play rough?" He pulled out his Capture-Slash-Stunner-inator and activated it on the "stun" setting, temporarily stunning all of the doctors in the room. This left Doofenshmirtz on his own to collect his prize. "Hello Mrs. Kardashian, how are we feeling today?"

"I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared right now." She responded.

"There is no need to be concerned. I am not here to hurt you." He grabbed the blanket that covered the baby and pulled it off. Then he quickly used his invention on the "camera" setting to take a photo. "Ha ha! Success! I have the first ever picture of the newest celebrity baby! A-And seriously, while I'm on the subject, why did you name it 'North?' I mean, seriously, that's just ruining its life before it even has one. Anyway, not important. What's important is I'm going to cash in on this photo to finance my plan to take over the Tri-State Area!" He cackled loudly. "And I have you and your precious little basketball to thank-"

(_Cue record scratch SFX)_

It was then that Doofenshmirtz's attitude and facial expression changed dramatically. He took a double take on the picture he had snapped and discovered that what was pictured was not a baby at all; rather, it was a basketball with a face drawn on it.

"W-Wh-What is that? Is this some kind of joke?" He shouted with a clear hint of frustration in his voice.

"No joke, man." Kanye replied.

"Oh really? Well then what? Are you naming it after Dwight Howard or something?"

"Who's Dwight Howard."

Doofenshmirtz took a moment to compose himself. "You better have an explanation for this! I did not impersonate a doctor and perform horribly-incorrect triple bypass surgery on an ailing elderly person to get cheated out of a picture that could make me millions! What's the big idea?"

"You wanna know so bad? We'll tell you. Me and Kimmy here are getting sick and tired of the paparazzi always chasing after us waiting for our baby to be born. So we was gonna fake it just to please them fools then go into hiding for a few months until the real baby showed up."

"So all of this was just a ploy to get out of the paparazzi's eye for a while?"

"I know it's diabolical and all, but-"

"No-No I actually think it's pretty good. They'd probably never suspect a thing. Of course there is one fatal flaw in your plan."

"What's that?"

"You told me, and I have no interest in entertaining your little plan..." What Doofenshmirtz did not know was that his stun gun had worn off and one of the doctors had gone to get security. "So before I'm too humiliated I think I'll just make my escape..." But as soon as he turned around he bumped into a security guard. "E-Excuse me, sir. Y-You're blocking my way out."

"You're not going anywhere, punk." The guard said as he quickly slapped cuffs on Doofenshmirtz's wrists.

"W-What the...Am I under arrest?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

"For what? Taking unnecessary and idiotic risks in order to acquire a photo for the celebrity tabloids is not against the law."

"No, but impersonating a doctor is." Dr. Hartman - entering the room as he spoke - responded.

"Impersonating a...oh ho ho ho. I see. N-No no no. You misunderstand. My name is _Dr._ Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I am a doctor."

"You bought your certificate online for fifteen dollars."

"How do you know that?"

He held up a laptop and opened it; specifically, it was open to Dr. Doofenshmirtz's profile on the _Phineas & Ferb Wiki_. "It's on your page."

Doofenshmirtz examined the page carefully. "Huh. So it is. So I see you've been spying on me."

"Get him out of here." Not amused, Dr. Hartman ordered the guards to take him out. But before they reached the door, Perry arrived in his usual battle stance.

"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, buying Perry enough time to throw to the ground a smoke bomb, phasing everyone - even Doofenshmirtz - around him long enough to grab his nemesis by the wrist and dash out of the room.

Eventually they were able to make it out the back door (the front door was still crowded with paparazzi) unseen. After regaining himself, Doofenshmirtz expressed glee. "Oh Perry the Platypus. Thank you for saving me. I thought I was in a lot of trouble back there, and I really thought I was done for." As he was rambling, Perry left unnoticed. But quickly he returned - driving a truck no less - and proceeded to run over Doofenshmirtz's foot. "AHHHHHHHHHHH! OH WHAT THE..." He was in obvious pain as he turned towards his nemesis. All Perry could do was tip his cap before ditching to truck and leaving. "Go suck a lemon, Perry the Platypus! That was totally uncalled for!" Perry turned around upon hearing this. Though he was quite surprised to hear his nemesis express such anger, he knew it was warranted. "Oh, oh this is painful! It feels like I got run over by a big truck or something! OW!"

* * *

Back in Danville, the kids were wrapping up their project for the day. The snail races were over, yet Buford & Baljeet continued to argue.

"I so totally won, nerd!" Buford shouted.

"You? In your dreams. My snail crossed the finish line first!" Baljeet argued back.

"Oh yeah? Well let's just go ask the British guy here." Buford & Baljeet approached Ferb. "Hey! Did you see who won?"

"Well, I-"

"Wait!" Phineas shouted. "You're not asking me?"

"Well in our defense, Ferb has done the majority of the speaking today." Baljeet asked.

"Yeah but he wasn't even at the finish line. He was helping Isabella with her snail when its engine crashed."

"It's true. It just sputtered and sat still for the longest time." Isabella conceded sadly.

"I looked at the photos and it was a tie. But it doesn't matter anyway because-"

"A tie? Are you sure?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Well, you know what? Forget it! I ain't racing again! I'm going home." And with that, Buford stormed away back to his house.

"I too must return home." Baljeet conceded, also walking back towards his house. This left Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella standing there alone.

"Well...this was certainly interesting." Ferb said as Phineas walked over to Isabella.

"So, Isabella..." He started, twiddling his fingers. "Isn't there something that you'd like to do right now...?" He was trying to lead her into something; he thoroughly enjoyed earlier when Isabella proceeded to scratch his rear end in public and was secretly hoping she'd want to do it again. "You know? Something you enjoy doing very much that maybe others don't really understand..."

Isabella gave him a confused look. But then a lightbulb went off in her. "Oh, that's right! Thanks Phineas." She leaned in and kissed him. He started smiling wider. "I've got a Fireside Girls meeting today!" Then his face fell. "I'll see you later, OK? Just make sure you talk more, alright?" She kissed him again and then ran off towards the Fireside Girls Lodge, leaving Phineas & Ferb by themselves. Phineas was slightly disappointed to see that Isabella didn't take his hint.

"I didn't know she had a meeting today." Ferb responded.

"Neither did I. I was just hoping she'd scratch my butt again." Phineas responded honestly. Ferb tried not to look Phineas in the eye.

"You don't...you don't want me to-to, well, you know..."

"What? Oh, no. No, no. That's OK, Ferb. I appreciate the offer, but that would just be too awkward. Besides, I like it best when Isabella does it."

Ferb opted not to say anything further. Instead, he decided to turn around and walk back home, leaving Phineas there by himself to his thoughts.

**End of Episode 65a!**

**Hope you enjoyed it. The "Horse in a Bookcase" gag was from the episode "What a Croc!" and of course I hope you all liked the shoutout to the P & F Wiki. Remember, Comic-Con is Friday, July 19th and the P & F panel starts at 4 PM Eastern, 1 PM Pacific time. Hopefully they'll be a live stream of sorts. If not, surely we'll find out what when on - for those who can't attend - quickly afterwards.**

**A/N: Had my job interview on Monday, and it went fairly well, though they're no longer hiring for the summer. So I either have to wait for a position to open for the fall or look elsewhere. Oh well, just gotta keep on truckin'.**

**And of course, remember to Read & Review!**


	83. 65b: Cooking Challenge

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 65b: ********************************************************Cooking Challenge**

**Episode Summary********************************************: ****Continuing from where "Role Reversal" left off, the Fireside Girls decide to make a giant cake in celebrate of Eliza M. Feyerside's birthday, but they are pressed for time. Meanwhile, Pinky is assigned to stop Professor Poofenplotz from sabotaging Danville's annual "Amateur Cook-Off Competition."********  
**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

After Isabella left Phineas and Ferb's company, she raced over to the Fireside Girls lodge for her Fireside Girls meeting to begin.

"Gather around, girls. I've got a big announcement!" Isabella stated. "Today is a very special day in Fireside Girls history: the birthday of our beloved founder Eliza M. Feyerseid." All of the girls suddenly cheered.

"How old is our fearless founder, Troop Leader Isabella?" Katie asked.

"Katie! You should know better. You never ask about a woman's age!" Isabella said firmly to her. "Besides, I wouldn't know."

"Because you're not supposed to ask?"

"No, because it never occurred to me I would actually have to - or want to, for that matter - know her age. Uh, anywho, the unfortunate news is that our plan to hold a celebratory bash here at the lodge will have to be put on hold."

The girls gasped. "But why?" Adyson asked.

"Ms. Feyerside fell last week and is nursing a broken hip." A collective "Aw..." from the rest of the girls. "So...I propose we make a simple cake here for her and then surprise her with it at her home. What do you say?" Another collective cheer from the girls. "Great!"

"But what kind of cake are we gonna make her?" Holly asked.

"Do we even know what kind of cake she likes?" Ginger proposed.

"No, and we're certainly not going to ask her."

"Why not?"

"Because that would ruin the surprise. Duh."

"So what do you suggest?" Adyson asked.

"Let's do a little bit of research on the internet and see what we come up with." Isabella said, and the girls all agree. But while they all rushed to the computer, Isabella asked herself, "Hey, where's Pinky?"

* * *

Pinky arrived in his lair and sat in his chair. The big screen turned on, but instead of her boss Wanda Acronym appearing, it was instead her intern Carla (**Who appeared first in the episode "Bee Story"**)

"Agent Pinky, good to see you." She said cheerfully. "Guess what? It's Role-Reversal Day here at the agency. So I'll be giving you your mission today."

"_I would like to go on record saying I do not approve of this at all!_" Wanda said off-screen.

"Anyway, our intel tells us Professor Poofenplotz is entering this year's "Amateur Cook-Off Competition." This year's prize is a Meet n' Greet with Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz, and nothing good can come from that. So go get her!"

Pinky barked and saluted.

* * *

Meanwhile, Isabella and the girls were surfing the web looking for the ideal cake to make their founder. "How about this one? _King cake: A a cinnamon-roll like cake inside with sugary icing with traditional Mardi Gras colored sprinkles on the outside._" Adyson showed them all the accompanying picture.

"That's a cake?" Gretchen asked.

"It looks more like somebody cooked the Teletubbies." Holly rebuffed.

"Besides, it's only available in Spain or France." Milly added. "Even _we_ can't get there and back in time for the surprise."

"How about this?" Adyson pointed out another one. "_Tunis cake: a Madeira cake topped with a thick layer of chocolate and decorated with marzipan fruits; traditionally eaten at Christmas."_

"Well that could work. It says here they're available in the US. It even says they're available here in Danville." Gretchen exclaimed excitedly.

"Except Ms. Feyerseid is allergic to marzipan fruits." Isabella remarked sadly.

"Wait, you know _that_ but you don't know how old she is?" Katie asked suspiciously, drawing the ire of Isabella.

"See, this is why you don't get many speaking lines, Katie."

"Maybe we can just make a cake of our own instead of ordering one." Gretchen suggested.

"Great idea. We have enough ingredients, and I'm sure if we put our heads together we can think of something to make. Who's with me?"

Another collective cheer from the girls as they all headed towards their kitchen station and started finding the ingredients needed to make the perfect cake. There was only one problem: none of them knew how to make a cake.

"So...does anyone know how to bake a cake?" Isabella asked. The girls all shook their heads at her. "Hmm...this might be tougher than I thought."

* * *

Meanwhile, Pinky found his nemesis, Esmerelda Poofenplotz, in the park along with many other aspiring cooks, as they all began preparing for the cook-off. Pinky tried to sneak up on Poofenplotz as quietly as he could. But Poofenplotz already had a trap waiting for him. She trapped Pinky in an empty food container.

"Pinky the Chihuahua! How nice to see you." She said to her nemesis. "Welcome to the annual "Amateur Cook-Off Competition." This year's prize is a Meet n' Greet with the Mayor, and I plan to win! Then I will finally get my chance to sweep that giant, hunky piece of meat off his feet. His masculinity and grace are no match for my beauty and wot, and-" Poofenplotz stopped herself before she went any further. Pinky gave a look of disapproval towards her, but she was unphased. "What? Don't you know anybody with wild, seemingly impossible-to-fulfill romantic fantasies?"

Pinky gave a deadpan facial expression, and then he looked towards the camera for a brief moment; the first person he thought of was Isabella and her insane romantic fantasies with Phineas.

"Anywho, even if I cannot win him over in a romantic fashion, I can still settle for the next best thing: convincing him that I am worthy to be his secretary. Once I am in that position, I will force him to sign over his power to me where I will...Well, I'm getting ahead of myself. I-I really don't have much worked out beyond this point. But I don't need any of that right now. All I need to do is focus on winning this contest. And I have the perfect solution to do so..."

"You see, Pinky the Chihuahua, as talented and gorgeous as I am, there are a few special "flaws" in my character. For example...I'm a..."below-average" chef. In fact, the only thing I'm really good at cooking is toast, and all you need to know for that is how to work a toaster. But I have a plan." She pulled out from behind her back a tiny ray gun. "Behold, the Switch-Places-er." Pinky gave her a raised eyebrow on the name. "What? I'm not good with names."

"With this, I have the power to switch the places of two objects of my choosing. Allow me to demonstrate." She took out something else, an apple. "Now what else can I use..." She noticed a little girl with a doll in her hand passing along. "There we go." She aimed her weapon at the apple, fired, and afterward it emulated a green aura. Then she aimed at the little doll and fired. The doll also emulated a green aura, and after another second, both became transparent, disappeared, and then switched positions; now the girl was holding the apple instead of the doll. "Success!"

She picked up the doll. "Now that little brat's doll is mine! And this is exactly how I'll win the cooking competition. I'll just switch my plate with the best-looking plate among the other contestants. That'll ensure I win without a shadow of a doubt!" She laughed maniacally for a brief moment before composing herself. "And then my plan for world domination will come to fruition. OK, so technically this is not a plan for "world domination", more like "Tri-State Area domination" but we all have to start somewhere, correct?"

* * *

Back at the lodge, the girls began preparations for their cake; the girls had all agreed that they would bake a simple chocolate cake. "Alright, let's run through the checklist one more time. Milk!"

"Check!" The girls all shouted in unison.

"Chocolate Chips?"

"Check!"

"Box of chocolate cake mix?"

"Check!"

Pudding mix?"

The girls glossed over their ingredients again, and they discovered that they didn't have any pudding mix. "No go, chief." Gretchen said.

"Well we can't make the cake without it."

"I can run to the store real quick and pick some up." Adyson volunteered.

"Negative, Adyson. You're the most experienced chef among us."

"But I've never cooked anything before."

"Didn't you say your mom is a former chef?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Well that's gonna have to do. You stay and lead the team, and I'll run out and buy some."

"You're not just gonna go fetch Phineas & Ferb and have them do all the work for us, are you?" Milly questioned.

"Of course not. Besides, after the morning I had with them, I've gonna try to stay out of there way for a while."

"Wh-"

"Don't ask." With that, she turned and ran right out the door and headed for the store, leaving the rest of the girls there to figure out where to go from there.

"So, now what do we do?" Holly asked.

"Should we try to start without her?" Milly pondered.

"But what if we screw it up? Then we'll completely ruin it and I doubt we'll have time to try again."

"But if we don't screw it up, we'll be ready to add the pudding mix when Isabella gets back." Gretchen argued which made the other girls think twice about it. Ultimately they decided they would give Isabella few minutes, but they also left the door open to start without her if she took too long.

* * *

Back at the bake-off, the host approached the center of the area to get everyone's attention. "Attention to all! I would like to thank each and every one of you for participating in this year's cook-off! I am pleased to introduce this year's celebrity judge...our own mayor himself, Roger Doofesnhmirtz!"

All of the contestants - with the exception of Poofenplotz - gave him a rousing ovation. "Thank you, thank you. It is a pleasure to be here judging this year's amateur cook-off and meeting all of the young aspiring chefs who have dared take this challenge."

"So Mr. Mayor, what is this year's special food our contestants have to prepare for you?" The host asked eagerly.

"This year, my friend, I am eager to test their skills, as they will be tasked with baking me...their finest lasagna!" The contestants let out another collective cheer while Poofenplotz turned to Pinky.

"Did you hear that? Lasagna! So, I guess I will be needing this bad boy after all!" She lifted her arms in the air and cackled with her weapon still in hand. At that moment a bird swooped in a snatched the weapon from her hand. "He-Hey! You come back here with that!" She shouted, but as she started running towards the bird, it accidentally hit the trigger several times. One of the blasts hit a nearby tree. Another went into the sky and bounced off a blimp that was conveniently carrying an unusually large mirror. The deflected blast went deep into the city...

* * *

When Isabella returned with the pudding mix... "OK guys, I've got the pudding mix! Let's get started with the-" She was flabbergasted to see that the Fireside Girls lodge was completely gone, replaced by a tree - the very same tree that had just been in the park moments earlier. "Um...w-what happened? Where's our lodge?"

"It's gone." Gretchen answered honestly.

"One minute we were all inside waiting for you to arrive so we could start baking that cake," Holly explained. "And then the next the lodge is covered in a green, firey aura. So we all rushed out and the next thing any of us knew, it just disappeared and this giant tree took its place."

"So...the lodge just disappeared? And this giant tree took its place?"

"Yep. That's right."

"We wouldn't have believed it either if we hadn't seen it with our own eyes." Adyson conceded.

"Well that really doesn't make me feel better, Adyson." Isabella said with a look of disdain and frustration on her face. "All of our cooking ingredients were in that lodge, and we're running out of time! What are we going to do now?"

"Maybe we could ask Phineas and Ferb for help?" Holly suggested. "I know we're a girl scouts group dedicated to establishing our independence from the common cliche, but if we're gonna surprise Ms. Feyerseid for her birthday, we've gotta move fast."

Isabella sighed, clearly frustrated. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this, but it looks like I have no other options." Isabella took out her smartphone and began dialing.

Back in the backyard of the Flynn-Fletcher home, Phineas & Ferb were relaxing under their tree when Phineas's phone suddenly went off. He answered. "Hello?"

"_Phineas, thank goodness I caught you. Listen, I need your help._"

"Well sure Isabella. What's up?"

"_The girls and I are trying to bake a cake for Eliza M. Feyerseid's birthday, but um...w-well...l-long story short, we're stuck. Can you help?_"

"Of course, Isabella."

"_Oh, and for the record, if you guys are still doing that "Role Reversal" thing you did earlier today, would you mind knocking it off? Just for a little while? I'm stressing out here and the last thing I want is to have to put up with that._"

"Alright, alright. No need to get antsy. We'll be right over. Where are you guys? At the lodge?"

"_Yes. Or at least...where the lodge used to be..._"

"Huh? I don't-"

"_Nevermind. Just hurry over and bring anything you think will help._"

"OK, we're on our way." He hung up and turned to Ferb. "Isabella needs our help."

So both brothers got up and gathered all the supplies they thought they would need and raced over the spot where the Fireside Girls lodge used to sit. They, like the girls, were shocked to see that a tree had replaced their beloved lodge. "Um...w-what happened here?"

"We don't know." Adyson replied.

"And beyond that, it's not important." Isabella said frantically. "What's important is we get that cake baked to surprise Ms. Feyerseid."

"Not to worry, Isabella. With your help we're going to make the biggest, most delicious birthday cake ever made! And we'll have in done before the day is over. Where is Ms. Feyerseid anyway?"

"Nursing a broken hip at home."

"Aw...well then this surprise will surely cheer her up. The delivery guy will be here any minute with our portable over & stove. We'll have the cake done in no time!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the cook-off, all of the contestants were well underway with their lasagnas. Even Poofenplotz was getting in on the action, but as she had mentioned earlier, she was not a very good cook. Thus, her lasagna looked more like somebody mixed together dirt and swiss cheese with a pinch of sewage water. It was literally the worst looking meal that had ever been created in the history of mankind.

"Watch and learn, Pinky the Chihuahua." She said to her nemesis, who was discreetly trying to cut his way out with a knife. "Once the clock runs out and the judging begins, I will use my Switch-Places-er to swap my dish for the best-looking lasagna dish among the other contestants. Once Mayor Roger tastes my new confection, he will have no choice but to announce me as winner! Then, I shall claim my Meet-n-Greet prize and persuade him to make me his secretary!"

While Poofenplotz was laughing maniacally, Pinky used the time in which she was distracted to continue sawing his way out. Eventually he managed to escape, and it was only then that Poofenplotz stopped laughing long enough to notice. "Pinky the Chihua-" She was punched in the jaw by Pinky before she could finish, and a fight ensured. The fight did not see many hard-hit punches exchanged between them, but it did run out the clock for Poofenplotz.

An air horn sounded, immediately getting all of the contestants' attention. "Time's up!" The host shouted, at which point Poofenplotz & Pinky stopped fighting.

"It's time!" She said as she pushed Pinky off her and brought her plate to the center table with the other contestants. Her was distinctly the most repulsive meal of the bunch, but Poofenplotz was determined to change that. Pinky, on the other hand, was determined to not let that happen."

"Now to put my plan into action..." She fired a shot at the meal she considered the best-looking meal of them all. It glowed a green aura. "There's one. Now, for number 2..." She slowly switched her aim to her own dish...

* * *

Meanwhile, it rapid fashion, Phineas, Ferb, and the Fireside Girls had all finished the giant birthday cake. It was almost the size of a modern house. "And...done!" Phineas said as he put the final decorations on the cake.

"Wow, Phineas...it's amazing." Isabella said. "Thank you guys so much for helping us out."

"You're welcome Isabella. Anything for you guys."

"Now the only question is how in the world are we gonna fit it into her home?" Ferb inquired.

"No worries, bro. I've already taken care of that. Let's all just head to her house and the rest will explain itself when we get there."

So they traveled to Ms. Feyerseid's house. It was a small house with a kitchen, a couple of bedrooms and a bathroom. Ms. Feyerseid was resting comfortably in one of the bedrooms watching a small television. Without warning, Ms. Feyerseid began feeling her house shake rapidly. She looked over to the source of where she believed the noise was coming from; as she looked to her right she noticed that the wall was beginning to come out. A few seconds later the wall was completely removed and it was revealed that Phineas & Ferb - driving a tractor - were responsible for removing her wall. "What in the-!"

"Happy birthday, Ms. Feyerseid!" Phineas shouted, waving to her. He started backing away slowly, clearing the way for the cake to be brought in. "OK, Ferb! Bring her in!"

Ferb, also driving tractor that had a large holder to carry the cake in, slowly drove up to the house.

* * *

As he was about to delivery the cake, back in the park, Poofenplotz was on the verge of shooting her own dish. "I have you now..." She said sinisterly to herself. But as she pulled the trigger, Pinky came out of nowhere and knocked the device out of her hands. The laser produced by it fired all the way towards the blimp carrying the unusually large mirror, which amazingly was still close enough to be hit by the ray. It bounced off the mirror and changed directions completely.

Angered, Poofenplotz grabbed Pinky by the collar. "You! How dare you ruin my plan. You will rue the day you-"

"What in tarnation?" Roger shouted upon getting a glimpse of Poofenplotz's dish. "What is responsible for this abomination?"

The other contestants immediately singled out Poofenplotz, much to her disdain. "Oh sure. Just because it's not lasagna doesn't mean it's inedible."

"It's a pile of dirt!" He shouted. "If this was a vomit-inducing contest I'd declare you the winner without even tasting your meal! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Poofenplotz remained silent for a moment before coming up with the words. "As a matter of fact, I do." She quickly reached underneath her oven and pulled out a jetpack and strapped it on her. "Time to make my spectacular getaway!" She activated her jetpack by pressing the buttons on her handles. But instead of lifting her away it instead pulled off her top revealing her bra, which had pictures of Pinky's head all over. Pinky did not appear impressed. "Eh...uh...for your information, I had these long before you became my nemesis."

"Either way, that's still pretty creepy." Roger added.

Poofenplotz. "Alright. Curse you Pinky the Chihuahua." **(A/N: That bit was somewhat stolen from the episode "Bubble Boys")**

* * *

As Ferb was bringing in the cake, the laser that was deflected off the blimp suddenly hit the cake, and in its place came the lasagna dish Poofenplotz shot earlier. However, it ended up appearing in midair which caused it to start plummeting towards the ground.

In a quick flash, Isabella dashed towards the plate and dove for it, catching it before it hit the ground and became ruined. However, her brief celebratory moment was interrupted when she realized that the plate she was holding was not cake, but lasagna instead. "Huh? Why am I holding lasagna?" She asked. She appeared disappointment, as it seemed their plan to surprise their founder had failed. That is also why they were all surprised to see her delighted to notice the lasagna plate.

"Oh dear, is that lasagna?" She asked.

"Yeah. see, we-"

"Oh how did you know?" Eliza clapped her hands in excitement.

"What are you-"

"I love birthday lasagna. It's the best kind of lasagna there is!" She gave a smile towards Isabella, who smiled back. "But seriously, was tearing down one of my walls necessary?" She glared over at Phineas & Ferb, who looked at each other and then back at her.

"Yes. Yes it was." Ferb answered slyly.

Regardless, Eliza invited them all to help her eat her birthday lasagna. Everyone was given a plate, a fork, and a piece of lasagna and they all found a nice spot in the room to enjoy it. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella ate their pieces together.

"Phineas, thanks again. If you and Ferb hadn't come to help us out, Ms. Feyerseid's birthday would've been a disaster...even though the cake disappeared and got replaced with this lasagna - which _is_ delicious, I might add!"

"No problem, Isabella. What are best friends for?" Phineas responded as he took a bite out of his food.

"By the way, Phineas..." She started to inch closer towards him. "Earlier today, when you were asking me if there was something I wanted to do with you..."

"Yeah..." Phineas started to think back to their prior meeting that day, but it was during that thought process that Isabella, from out of nowhere, started scratching his rear end. Once he figured out what was going on, he took a deep breath and relaxed a bit.

"I knew what you meant."

"You knew I was gonna ask you to scratch me again? But then why didn't you?"

"I told you I had a Fireside Girls meeting to go to. Besides, I wanted to make you sweat a little. It was nice to have you ask me do something to you rather than the other way around." Her answer made Phineas blush while she switched to the other cheek to scratch.

"Isabella, I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"If you're not busy tomorrow, would you like to spend the day with me? And I mean, like, just the two of us. No inventions, no anyone else, just you and me doing whatever we want."

"You mean a date?"

"I mean, if you don't want to-"

"I'd love to, Phineas." She leaned in and kissed him, still scratching his butt. "Unless you're taking me to one of those fancy restaurants where you have to wear a suit instead of that adorable orange shirt and those amazing cargo shorts that make your butt look so big and delicious."

"Nope. Nothing like that. Just good old fashioned fun."

"I hate to interrupt a classic love fest, but would you mind taking it away from the food area." Ferb asked. "Some of us _are_ trying to eat here."

Phineas & Isabella both laughed before getting up and walking out of the hole to continue their lovefest. Meanwhile, Eliza, still in bed, turned to Ferb. "They're coming back to fix my house, right?"

**End of Episode 65b!**

**Hope you enjoyed this one. Not one of my personal favorite but I'm sure there's enough in here to satisfy you. Remember, Comic-Con is next week and the Phineas & Ferb panel will start at 4 P.M. Eastern, 1 P.M. Pacific time. **

**And Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel airs Friday, August 16th on Disney Channel! DON'T YOU DARE MISS IT!**


	84. 66: Date Night

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 66: ********************************************************Date Night********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************: ****Phineas and Isabella decide to spend an entire day together. Meanwhile, Lawrence goes on ABC's "Wipeout" to dispel the notion that he's "clumsy." But Dr. Doofenshmirtz also tries out for the show to collect the $50,000 prize and finish building an evil -inator, and he plans on winning the only way he knows how: by cheating.********  
**

**************************************************A/N: I'm dedicating this episode to the PhinaBella shippers out there. As most of you already know there is an upcoming episode entitled "Act Your Age" that will address Phineas and Isabella's relationship; they're even going to sing a nice duet in that episode too. Hope we get some more information about it soon.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined brightly on another wonderful day in Danville. It was exactly one minute before seven, and Phineas, Ferb, & Isabella were still fast asleep (Phineas was snoring his head off while Isabella was snuggled up right next to him)

Isabella opened her eyes first and looked at the clock, noticing it was one minute before seven, or one minute before the alarm usually went off. So she climbed out of bed and carefully unplugged the clock so Phineas would sleep longer. As she was returning to bed, Ferb awakened and climbed out of his bed. He was already dressed & ready to leave the house. "Morning, Ferb. I see you're all dressed up." Ferb nodded. "So Phineas & I will have the whole house to ourselves today? No you, your mom or dad or Candace?"

"Nope. We'll all be out of the house today." He responded quietly. They both embraced quickly before Ferb looked at Phineas again. "You enjoy your day with him."

Isabella giggled as she looked back at the snoring boy, who was drooling all over his pillow. "I will." With that, Ferb left the room. With Ferb's departure, Phineas & Isabella were the only ones in the house, so Isabella decided to return to bed.

She climbed back into bed slowly, careful not to disturb him. Once she was in she gently wrapped her arms around his neck, kissed him once, and closed her eyes returning to a peaceful sleep. She felt incredibly relaxed in that time frame. Her feelings for him ran so deeply that most used her actions and words around him as an excuse to question her mental status. But she merely shrugged off the criticism.

It wasn't until 9:00 that Phineas finally started to wake up. He stirred around, which woke Isabella up. She lifted her head, tapped his rear end a few times, and kissed him as he stirred around. "Good morning, sleepy head."

Phineas opened his eyes and saw Isabella right in front him with a loving look in her eyes. "I-Isabella?" He groaned as he lifted his head and Isabella leaned in to kiss him, despite the drool all over his face. "W-What time is it?"

"9 o'clock."

"9? But I usually wake up at 7! Why didn't my-"

"I unplugged your clock."

"You what? But why would you do that? I specifically set it for 7 so we could spend the day together."

"And I unplugged your clock so that you wouldn't wake up at 7."

"Huh?"

"Phineas, don't you know me by now? It doesn't matter what we're doing. As long as I'm with you everyday it's an adventure. Plus, I really don't like it when you wake up at 7. Little boys your age need as much sleep as they can get."

"Are you just using that as an excuse because you wanted to sleep on my butt last night but didn't?"

Isabella twiddled her fingers. "Maybe..." The two of them shared a laugh as they climbed out of bed. They took each other in their arms and shared a hug. "So, Phineas, what do you wanna do today?"

"Well, the carnival is in town and I was wondering if you wanted to go spend some time there."

"Sounds great, but can we shower and eat first?"

"Sure thing, Isabella. And then I can cook us breakfast?"

"Actually, Phineas...I was thinking we could both shower first and then cook each other breakfast."

"Really? How come?"

"Well I think it would just be nice to do something like that. I mean, if we are gonna be married someday, we might as well practice now. Right?"

"True, but why should you have to cook me anything when I'm the one taking you on this date?"

"Because I love you and I feel like it. Plus, if I cook for you first, then you'll have last licks of the oven, and that'll mean I get an extra 10 minutes to stare at your beautiful butt while you're busy."

"Isabella, why can't you just admit that all you want to do with me is sleep on my butt all day? I don't mind; I just wish you would admit it."

"What? No, Phineas. Really, I'm looking forward to going out with you today. Come on, let's go get dressed." So they each headed towards the bathroom and grabbed two bathrooms. Phineas gave Isabella the first shower, then once she was done Phineas took his. Then they changed into their normal clothes and went downstairs to cook each other breakfast. Isabella cooked Phineas his signature chocolate chip pancakes along with greasy strips of bacon and chocolate milk. Phineas cooked Isabella french toast along with 2 hash browns with a strawberry and a glass of milk.

"Boy, this looks delicious Phineas!" Isabella exclaimed as Phineas took a seat right next to her.

"Same for yours, Isabella." Phineas responded. "So by the way, what is everybody doing today?"

"Well Ferb is helping Baljeet out with something and your mom & Candace went out for a "Girls Only" day."

"Well that's nice. You know, Candace & Mom have really gotten along a lot better compared to last summer."

"Yeah, good for them."

"By the way, where's Dad?"

"He wouldn't tell anyone where he's going. It's a little bit suspicious..."

* * *

In actuality, Lawrence was on the set of the famous show "Wipeout" where contestants tackle difficult obstacle courses for the chance at a prize of $50,000.

"Welcome everybody to another exciting edition of 'Wipeout!' the show where one will rise above the rest but all will fall flat on their face. I'm John Anderson."

"And I'm John Henson, and today 24 clinically insane people will try to master one of the toughest sets of obstacle courses known to man, and all for a chance to win $50,000."

In the background, Perry was hiding from them, remaining unseen. His watch went off silently and he answered the call. "_Agent P,_" It was his boss. "_Our sources have informed us that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has entered this contest in order to win the $50,000 prize and finance it on his new -inator. Apparently, he only needs one more piece to complete construction but that one pieces happens to cost $50,000. Anyway, our intel has also told us he plans to cheat in order to win, which really isn't a shock."_

_"How can you possibly cheat at this?" _Carl, off-screen, asked. "_It's just a giant obstacle course that can cause physical injury and/or emotional humiliation, and not necessarily in that order!"  
_

_"Carl! Agent P, whatever you do, you cannot let Doofenshmirtz win. You have to at least level the playing field. You know, make him earn it." _Agent P saluted and attempted to shut his watch off. "_Oh, before you go, Agent P...you're going to need to stay out of the limelight. We've also learned that the father of your host family, Lawrence Fletcher, has also entered this contest. If he were to see you in your secret agent alter ego...or for that matter, if **anyone** were to see you as a secret agent, your entire cover would be blown. We would have no choice but to relocate you. So be careful, and good luck, Agent P!"_

Perry saluted again and turned his watch off. He managed to sneak away from the hosts and find a safe place, far enough away from all the cameras to avoid being seen. He managed to get a glimpse of Lawrence at the top of the course.

"And there's our first contestant, Mr. Lawrence Fletcher - an antique dealer and historian from Danville, Virginia. John, before we send him out onto the course, let's show our audience just what he'll have to contend with in our qualifier."

"Good idea, John. And here we go..." The screen started at the very beginning of the course and panned through as John and John explained it. "We start off with the Topple Towers where contestants must run over a set of blocks stacked on top of each other and avoid - well, you know - toppling over into the mud."

John Henson took over. "The second course is the Sucker Punch, a giant wall filled with fists that pop out at you at random times that try to knock you into the mud."

"Then comes our classic obstacle - the Big Balls. Four inflatable big red balls that you must bounce over to make it to the other side."

"Then finally...the Cookie Cutter. Contestants must take the rope and swing over to the other side to make it through the life-size cutout. If they make it through and land safely on the platform, the clock stops. If they don't, they'll have to swim over to short and step on our lower platform to stop the clock."

"Now, only the 12 fastest times will advance to the next round and be one step closer to our $50,000 prize! With that in mind, let's get this party started!"

The horn sounded, so Lawrence, waiting on the top of the course, started running down the course. When he approached the Topple Towers, he struggled. Upon getting to the first one, he fell into the mud, causing both Johns to laugh in the both. But he ignored them and quickly got back up, finishing the second half of the Topple Towers with little trouble.

Next was the Sucker Punch. He started to make his way across the wall, getting hammered by the punches. He even took a couple to his face, but persevered and got through without falling in the mud. The third obstacle was the big balls.

"Uh oh...he's hesitating..." John Henson mocked from the booth; what Lawrence was completely oblivious to was the fact that there was a giant pendulum right behind him, a.k.a. the "motivator." "You know what that means..." After Lawrence waited a few seconds, the motivator started to come down and eventually it hit Lawrence right in the back, causing him to catapult several feet forward. He slammed into the first big ball, flipped and then clipped the second big ball before falling into the water. "Never mess with the motivator, people."

Even with the delay, Lawrence made it to the final obstacle, but ultimately fell short on the Cookie Cutter and fell into the water again. Nevertheless, he was able to swim to shore fairly quickly and finish with a respectable time.

"And Lawrence finishes the Qualifier with a respect time of 4 minutes and 47 seconds. but will that be enough to secure a place in the 2nd round?"

22 other contestants took up the course, and throughout all the commotion, Lawrence ended up in the middle of the pack. But Doofenshmirtz was the last contestant left to take the course.

"Our final contestant for the day...Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz - a self-proclaimed "Doctor" who is more of an inventore than a doctor." John Anderson said.

"Yeah, it says here that he has a "platypus" nemesis." Henson said. "Whatever that means."

When the horn sounded, Doofenshmirtz was off and running. Initially, it appeared as though Doofenshmirtz had nothing on his person. But the truth was he was concealing very small -inators inside his labcoat. They allowed him all sorts of advantages, such as being able to levitate slightly off the ground to make it look as though he is safely walking over the Topple Towers, an "Invincibility-inator" that protected him from the impact of the punches, a "Bouncy-inator" that gave him better control over his bounces on the big balls, and finally, a "Bigger-inator" that enlarged the Cookie Cutter hole and allowed him to squeeze through safely. He easily posted the best time of any of the 24 contestants.

"And unbelievably, Heinz makes it through every obstacle without a single wipeout, easily posting the best time out of anyone: 1 minute and 17 seconds!" John Anderson said in excitement. John Henson, however, was not as enthused.

"Is this really amazing or just boring." Henson pondered. "I mean, really."

Meanwhile, Perry could only sit on the sidelines and shake his head. He knew that he could not let Doofenshmirtz cheat his way to the prize money, but at the moment he had no plan in place to stop Doofenshmirtz without being seen by anyone.

* * *

Back in Danville, Isabella and Phineas had finished their breakfast and washed their dishes. They were now ready to leave the house and go on their date. "Ready, Phineas?"

"I sure am, Isabella. I can't believe I'm spending the entire day with the girl I love." He said in pure excitement, followed by a light sniffle.

"Phineas, a-are you alright?" She asked. "You're sounding a little congested."

"What? No, of course I'm fine. Come on, or we'll just be wasting time." He said quickly, followed by another sniffle.

"There, you did it again. You sound like you're starting to get sick."

"Well I'm not. And besides, even if I were getting sick, there's no way I'm gonna cancel this date with you."

"Well that's great and all, but if you're sick I don't mind taking care of you while you rest in bed."

"I know you don't. But I'd feel bad. So let's just go out for a while and then we can come home and relax."

"Fine, but the second I think you're coming down with a cold our date is over! Deal?" She held out her hand for a typical deal-making handshake.

"Deal." But Phineas instead responded with a kiss on the cheek. Isabella blushed and kissed back. Then the both of them headed out the door, with Phineas locking up behind him. He took her hand and they both walked to the Carnival, which surprisingly was within walking distance of their home. Phineas took Isabella to the booth near the entrance and bought them both all-day free-access wristbands so they could go on any ride or play any game that they wanted.

"Wow, Phineas. I can't believe you sprung for the all-day passes!" Isabella exclaimed with joy. "How could you even afford these."

"I've got a little extra cash stashed up somewhere in my room where nobody would ever think to look." Phineas said slyly. "Besides, I'd dare not spare any expense for my leading lady..."

"Aw..." She kissed him again. "So what do you want to do first?"

"You can pick. I don't really care either way. As long as I'm doing it with you, I'm happy."

"Oh Phineas." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly as they both walked into the carnival. There wasn't anything in the world at that moment that could ruin their good mood. They were happy to be in each other's company regardless of their location. They loved each other from the bottom of their hearts, and they were determined to make this the best date of their lives.

**(A/N: The song I'm about to play is "Love Somebody" from Maroon 5, but instead of imagining the Maroon 5 version playing while reading, imagine the cover version done by BTR member James Maslow, which was released a few weeks ago. Go look it up on Youtube and you'll see why I want that version here instead of Maroon 5)**

_**I know your insides are feeling so hollow  
And it's a hard pillow for you to swallow**_

Phineas and Isabella first decided to go on a roller coaster. They made sure they got to sit together; they would not ride if they couldn't sit together. Phineas held Isabella's hand the entire time as they enjoyed the swirls and the rapid movements of the coaster.

_**But if I fall for you**_  
_**I'll never recover**_  
_**If I fall for you**_  
_**I'll never be the same**_

After they went on the roller coaster, Phineas then decided to take Isabella to a painting booth, where an artist painted a picture of the two of them sitting together and hugging. They made sure to get both of them a copy of the painting. They were incredibly impressed with the artist's rendering of them.

The next thing they did together was go to a photo booth, where they took several photos of themselves consisting of them hugging, kissing, playfully tussling each other, and then finally ending with them kissing again. They enjoyed the photo booth more than they did the painting.

_**I really wanna love somebody  
I really wanna dance the night away  
I know we're only halfway there  
But you can take me all the way  
You can take me all the way**_

_**I really wanna touch somebody  
I think about you every single day  
**__**I know we're only halfway there  
But you can take me all the way  
You can take me all the way**_

After the photo booth, Phineas & Isabella headed for the water slide. Since they had their bathing suits with them, they changed into them quickly in a nearby changing booth and headed for the line. The slide was very big and the rushing water was intense. Though Phineas bragged to Isabella that he and Ferb could make a better water slide "in their sleep," he nonetheless enjoyed it. He and Isabella both laughed all the way down the slide. At the bottom, they helped each other back up and then headed back into the carnival for more.

Throughout the morning, Phineas showed more signs of illness. He began coughing with more frequency, he sneezed several times, and at one point he eve dozed off while waiting in line for a ride. But despite Isabella's concerns, Phineas insisted that he was fine; he refused to cut the date short on account of his health.

_**You're such a hard act for me to follow. Oh.  
Love me today, don't leave me tomorrow. Hey.**_

Following the water slide, Phineas and Isabella decided to stop and get some lunch. They decided to share a pizza, and Phineas opted to buy it himself. Though Isabella was somewhat annoyed, she greatly appreciated the gesture.

_**But if I fall for you  
I'll never recover  
If I fall for you  
I'll never be the same**_

_**I really wanna love somebody  
I really wanna dance the night away  
I know we're only halfway there  
But you can take me all the way  
You can take me all the way**_

But because Phineas paid for the pizza himself, Isabella made him promise that he would let her win him a stuffed animal by herself at one of the booths when they were done. They shared another laugh and then a kiss.

_**I really wanna touch somebody  
I think about you every single day**_  
**_I know we're only halfway there_**  
**_But you can take me all the way_**  
**_You can take me all the way_**

True to her word, Isabella took Phineas over to the ring toss booth, where she proceeded to win on her very first try. She gave the stuffed bear she won to Phineas, who repaid her with a kiss on the cheek, drawing a collective "Aww" from the crowd around them.

_**Oh, oh, oh, oh oh whoa  
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh whoa**_

_**I don't know where to start  
I'm just a little lost  
I wanna feel like we're never gonna ever stop**_

At one point after Isabella won Phineas the stuffed animal, Phineas noticed a "Tunnel of Love" ride nearby. They both decided to go on it. The ride was slow and majestic and it provided some time for them to reflect on how far they've come together. They didn't kiss like Isabella had once dreamed of doing on a ride like this. No, they merely sat there snuggling with each other, simply happy to have each other. All the while, Phineas tried to hide hisc coughing from Isabella. He could feel himself falling ill but refused to end the date on account of it.

_**I don't know what to do  
I'm right in front of you  
Asking you to stay.  
**__**You should stay, stay with me tonight. **__**Yeah!**_

When they exited the tunnel, Phineas took Isabella's hand. They both were grinning from ear to ear. Phineas, of course, looked slightly off due to his growing sickness. But his emotions remained genuine. He felt completely safe and happy with Isabella right next to him; as long as she was there, he was happy.

_**I really wanna love somebody  
I really wanna dance the night away  
I know we're only halfway there  
But you can take me all the way  
You can take me all the way  
**_

_**I really wanna touch somebody  
I think about you every single day  
I know we're only halfway there  
But you can take me all the way  
You can take me all the way**_

_****__**Oh, oh, oh, oh oh whoa  
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh whoa**_

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the set of "Wipeout", Lawrence had successfully made it to the 2nd round. Unfortunately, so did Doofenshmirtz. Elsewhere, Perry was still trying to come up with a plan to stop Doofenshmirtz from cheating while also keeping his secret identity in check.

The second round was about to start. "And here we are, folks. The 2nd round, where our 12 contestants will be trimmed down to six. Now it's time for our next challenge - The Sweeper."

"Yeah John, and here's how it works: we've placed our contestants our pedals 10 feet above the water in a circle, and in the middle of the circle is one of our favorites: the Sweeper Arm. The Sweeper will rotate around and try to knock our contestants down. It's their job to jump as high as they can and avoid being knocked down. Now they'll have to be careful. The farther we go along, the higher the Arm will go."

"And the arm will begin gyrating around as well, so our contestants will have to be extra vigilante."

"Last 6 contestants standing will move on to our Third Round, and the last contestant standing will win a bonus of $1,000. So, if there's nothing else, I guess it's time to get started."

Out in the distance, far away from the action, Perry showed up. With nobody around, he was able to get a clear view of the action. Through his binoculars, he caught a glimpse of Doofenshmirtz reaching ever so cautiously into his lab coat, apparently about to activate one of his hidden -inators. Using his watch, he sent out an electronic sonar wave towards Doofenshmirtz. It hit him, and even though he did not feel anything, he would soon realize that all of his -inators had been temporarily disabled.

The horn sounded, signaling the start of the round. The Sweeper Arm began to rotate around. The contestants were easily able to jump over it the first go-around. Doofenshmirtz wasn't any the wiser, as he was able to jump over the Sweeper Arm the first time around without any problems.

The second time around, however, was different. The Sweeper Arm sped up slightly and was risen slightly in the air. One by one, the contestants slowly began to drop. Both Lawrence and Doofenshmirtz, however, remained in the game after the second go-around. Still, Doofenshmirtz remained oblivious. It was only during the third go-around did things began to unravel for him.

"Time for me to take it up a notch." Doofenshmirtz said to himself as he reached into his lab coat and attempted to activate one of his hidden -inators. But when he pressed a button, he discovered that nothing was happening. He pressed that button several more times, but still nothing. As the Sweeper Arm passed again, he quickly leaped over. The Arm clipped his left leg and his landing wasn't clean. But he was able to get up and continue playing.

Of course now Doofenshmirtz grew a little concerned now that he knew that his inventions weren't working. "That's strange...my 'Hover-inator' should have made that jump a little cleaner. I wonder what went wrong." He opened his lab coat and examined all his -inators. They were all structurally intact. "Nothing seems out of place..."

While he was examining his person, the Sweeper Arm took out several more of his competitors. The Sweeper Arm was too much for them. Surprisingly, Lawrence was also able to jump over again. He too was clipped on the leg but was able to get back up.

"That's so strange. I wonder if it needs to be calibrated again..." Doofenshmirtz thought out loud before looking up and discovering that the Sweeper Arm was headed right for them. He had little time to react to it, but somehow he was able to get up and over it and avoid falling into the water. "Aha! I survived to live another round!" He shouted triumphantly; it was only then did he discover that he and Lawrence were the only ones left. "Wow. It's just me and that british guy. Go figure."

"That's right. We have only two contestants standing," John Anderson said from the commentary booth. "But regardless, those two plus the last four that fell are automatically into the next round."

"All that needs to be determined now is who's going to win that $1,000 bonus prize. Will it be 'Antiquing Nerd' Lawrence Fletcher? Or will it be 'I'm Not a Real Dr.' Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"

Doofenshmirtz got into his battle stance, ready to face the Sweeper Arm again. "OK, I'm up. I'm up, and I'll be ready this time. I don't need any stupid -inators to win this thing! I can-" Having gone too deep into his thought without pulling out in time to see the Sweeper Arm, he was forcibly knocked into the water, much to Lawrence's delight, as it signified that he had successfully won the round and the $1,000 bonus prize.

"Oh, and the fake doctor takes a dive!" John Anderson narrated.

"Looked like he didn't even try to get out of the way." Johns Henson responded. "Might as well just taken the lab coat right off of himself and waved it around like a white flag."

"Why does he wear that lab coat all the time?"

"I have no idea. Looks goofy on him anyway. Like he's a pharmacist or something."

Doofenshmirtz rose from the waters and protested. "I am not a pharmacist!" He shouted as he struggled to stay afloat. "I may have missed out on the bonus prize, but I'm still through to the next round! All I have to do is survive one more obstacle, and then I'm through to the final round where I will claim my rightful prize!"

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in town, Linda & Candace were enjoying their "Girls' Only" day out. They were busy getting their nails polished at the local spa retreat which, coincidentally, was only a few blocks away from the carnival that Phineas & Isabella were spending their day at.

"Now this is the life." Candace remarked as she had her nails painted to match her hair color. "Just us ladies getting our nails painted and our hair done."

"You forgot the foot massages." Linda pointed out, as she was in the process of having one done.

"Oh yeah. Those too." Candace glanced out her window and noticed the carnival right down the street. "Hey Mom, look! The carnival is in town. Do you think we can go?"

"I was hoping you would say that. As soon as our nails & feet are done, we'll head straight down there."

And they did. They wrapped out their nail & foot treatment and raced off to the carnival. They bought themselves enough tickets for the rides & games to last a good couple of hours.

Elsewhere, on the other side of the carnival, Phineas & Isabella were also walking around trying to decide what to do next. Phineas's cold was worsening. His face was starting to go pale and he felt his nose become stuffed up. Still, he pressed on determined to make this date a memorable one.

"What do you wanna do next?" He asked her, his voice clearly compromised. "I was thinking maybe we could grab some food before we go back on the rides."

Isabella's head snapped in the direction of Phineas. She instantly heard his voice and became concerned for his well-being. "Phineas, are you OK? You sound sick."

"Me? Sick?" He tried to force a laugh. "That's ridiculous. I'm perfectly fine. Don't you hear it in my voice?"

"All I hear is your nose stuffed up. And you look pale as a ghost!" She put her hand on his forehead and then snapped it back. "And you're warm. You're gonna get really sick. I just know it!"

"Don't be silly, Isabella. Come on, you're ruining this date for us."

"The only thing that's going to be ruined here is your health! Now admit it: you don't feel well."

Phineas opened his mouth in an attempt to argue back. But then he started coughing hard. He jerked himself in every direction to avoid coughing directly at Isabella. When he was done, he was met with a 'I-told-you-so' glare from Isabella. Though Phineas wanted to argue and keep the date going, he knew he wasn't going to sway her. "OK, OK. I don't feel well."

"I knew it."

"But I don't know how it happened. I woke up this morning and I was great. But then as the day started progressing, I started feeling worse. But I didn't want to say anything to you because I knew you would want to stop the date and take me home."

"Duh."

"But I didn't want you to stop the date because I promised myself that this one would be perfect. It seems like every time we try to go out on a date it either ends badly or we can't finish it."

"That's because you try way too hard to make things perfect. Today all we did was make each other breakfast and then spend time here at the carnival. _That's_ a date, Phineas."

"But it's so simple."

"But is it bad?"

Phineas gave the question a good long thought. "I...I guess not. Still..."

"Phineas," She took his shoulders and knelled down. "You are and have always been a perfect gentlemen. I know you always try hard to make me happy. You want me to have a good time when I'm with you, and I always do because it doesn't matter what we're doing or where we are - even if we're just sleeping together. As long as I'm doing it with you, then I'm happy."

"I know you are, Isabella. You're always happy to be with me. I just feel bad, though. It seems we just don't have that great a' luck when it comes to these things."

"On the contrary, I consider myself the luckiest girl on the face of the Earth." She didn't hesitate to kiss him despite the illness.

"Real original, Isabella." He joked, referencing the fact that Isabella copied the famous line from the famous speech given by the iconic ballplayer Lou Gehrig. Isabella, however, didn't get the reference, though Phineas decided not to bother trying to explain it as he was too tired.

"Phineas!" He heard his name being called. He and Isabella turned to that direction and saw Linda & Candace walking towards them.

"Hey look! It's my mom & my sister!" Phineas shouted the obvious.

"What are you guys doing here?" Isabella asked them. "I thought you were going out for a girl's only day."

"We did. I-I mean we are. We just came from the beauty salon." Candace explained. "We figured we'd stop here for a couple of hours and enjoy the sight. What are you guys doing here? I thought you were going on a date."

"We _are_ on a date." Isabella emphasized. "Or at least...we _were_ on a date." She emphasized the tenses very strongly as she tried to give Linda & Candace a hint. But it was only after Phineas sneezed again did they start to get a clue.

"Phineas, honey, are you alright?" Linda asked. "You look terrible all of a sudden."

"Yeah I'm not feeling so hot." Phineas confessed. "I'm stuffed up, my head hurts, and I'm pretty sure I'm getting a fever."

"Well you shouldn't be out here. You should be in bed resting."

"That's what I told him!" Isabella shouted.

"But I don't want to go to bed. I wanna finish this date with Isabella!" He argued, determined to see the date through without any hitches.

"Who says we can't finish it at home?"

"Huh?"

"I know me having fun on our date means the world to you, but I already told you: as long as I'm with you, I'm happy...even if we're just sleeping in bed together. Look, why don't I take you home and put you to bed? Then I'll make you some nice hot soup to help you get better."

"Well that sure sounds like a downer considering I was going to buy you pizza after we were done here."

"We can still have our pizza. Don't worry about that. Let's just get you home and into bed, OK?" She proceeded to pick him up off the ground and carry him like a mother would carry a toddler. "You guys have fun." She said to Linda & Candace as she started heading for the exit.

"Feel better, little bro." Candace said lovingly as Phineas weakly waved back at them before falling asleep in Isabella's arms.

She proceeded to carry him all the way back to his house, where she promptly unlocked the front door and carried him all the way upstairs to his room. There, she tucked him into bed and kissed him. After he awakened, she made him some soup and gave him some medicine. "There you go." She said as she placed the bowl of soup on his dresser. "Make sure to eat it all up. I promise we can have our pizza after you're done."

"There's a coupon downstairs that's good for one personal-sized pizza free with the order of any one personal-sized pizza." Phineas remarked. "That was the surprise I was gonna give you had I not gotten sick - your very own pizza."

"Aw, thank you Phineas. That's very nice of you." She leaned down and kissed him. "I'll go order it right now. But you better drink all your soup." She said sternly.

"Yes, _Mom_." He responded sarcastically, but lovingly. With that she kissed him once more before leaving him to enjoy his soup so she could order their pizza. By the time the pizza had arrived, Phineas had finished all of his soup and was already showing signs of improvement. She went upstairs carrying the box with the pizzas in it. "Phineas, the pizza's here!" She shouted as she opened the door. "And I see you finished your soup."

"Does that mean I can enjoy my pizza now?"

"Yep. Are you up to coming downstairs?"

"Sure am! I hope you got me my pepperoni with extra cheese, and-" He proceeded to jump out of bed, but when he hit the ground, his head started spinning. "Whoa, boy."

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Yeah, just...just let me get myself together here."

"Clearly, you're still in no condition to be doing anything strenuous."

"But-"

"Don't worry. I have a solution." She ran towards Phineas and handed him the pizzas. Then she ran back downstairs and came back with a little table and a chair. She sat the table down next to Phineas's bed and the chair on the other side, then placed the pizza box on the table, opening it up to reveal two mini-pizzas - a ham, bacon, and eggplant pizza for Isabella, and a three cheese (Parmesan, Mozzarella, and Cheddar) pizza with pepperoni for Phineas.

"You like eggplant on your pizza?" Phineas asked rather confusedly.

"Hey. You don't know everything about me." Isabella joked. "Just like I didn't know that you liked your pizza extra, extra cheesy."

"Well an afternoon in Cheesetopia will do that to a guy." Phineas also joked, causing both to laugh. Then they both took a slice of their own pizza and started eating. Though Phineas was slightly disappointed he was relegated to his bed and couldn't finish his date at the carnival like he had hoped, he was still happy just to be with Isabella. Her happiness meant a lot to him, so if she was happy just sitting in his room with him eating pizza or cuddling in bed, then he was happy. The boy was finally learning.

* * *

Back on "Wipeout," it was time for the third round. There was a baseball-themed obstacle course waiting for Lawrence, Doofenshmirtz, and the four other contestants (three females, one male). "Welcome back to 'Wipeout' and now it's time for our third round. Here, we'll cut down our roster even more from six players to just three, and those three will take their skills or whatever to our final stage - The Wipeout Zone - where they'll compete for the grand prize of $50,000!"

"And now it's time for our next obstacle course - baseball turned death course, or as we like to cal it..._Bruiseball_!"

"Contestants will run the bases like in baseball. Only this time there will be Sweeper Arms and balls flying their way trying to knock them off. But once a contestant reaches a base safely they can restart from that base if they get knocked off. They must make it all the way to home plate and then touch it safely to win the course. We'll go one round and the first three players to touch home plate safely will advance to the Wipeout Zone."

All of the contestants got themselves set on the course. By this point, Doofenshmirtz's -inators were finally working again. So he turned one on - his "Quick-Step-inator" to increase his footstep slightly "_so as to give me an unfair advantage without making it look completely obvious that I'm cheating_" in the words of the slightly confused evil genius.

The horn sounded, and everyone started for the course. Doofenshmirtz ended up getting far ahead of everyone else thanks to his -inator. But, thanks to his own ignorance and a little help from Perry, one of the Sweeper Arms separating first base and second base smashed into Doofenshmirtz and knocked him into the water. "Ow, that was totally uncalled for, man!" He yelled as he tried to swim back to first base. "Good thing my -inators are water proof." He climbed back up and resumed from first. "But then why did they all of my -inators fail me before? They're all fully charged, and it's not like Perry the Platypus is any..."

It was then that it hit him. Even though it didn't make much sense given that he had only given it 10 seconds worth of thought, he had no other explanation. "Perry the Platypus! Of course! He's behind this! He must be at a distance carefully interfering with my plan to win the money and finance a very expensive -inator. Except I can't see him or hear him. He must be in a clever disguise." As he successfully made his way towards second base, avoiding the Sweeper Arm, he looked back at the other contestants, including Lawrence. He theorized that Perry was disguised as one of them.

So once he made it to third base and then leaped off the platform towards home play and safely touched it, he decided to return to the course in the hopes of distinguishing his nemesis. He approached each of the contestants (including Lawrence) several times and attempted to do anything possible to reveal his nemesis. This ranged from pulling their skin like it was a mask to ripping off their clothes to even slapping them. Each time, he was again knocked into the water...hard.

By the end of it all, he, Lawrence, and the female contestant all made it to the Wipeout Zone. But by then, Lawrence & the female competitor - named Dina - were so uncomfortable with Doofenshmirtz's actions that they opted to stay as far away from him as possible. He didn't take the hint, though. "So, I guess it's just us three." He said approaching them. "Who would've thunk it? So anyway...even though I'm totally gonna win this thing, I wanna be a good sport and wish you both luck."

He stuck his hand out as if he was going to shake hands. Dina, however, was so uncomfortable she backed away from him slowly. "OK, if you don't want to be a good sport, I suppose I can accept that. How about you?" He stuck his hand towards Lawrence, who, despite the discomfort, shook Doofenshmirtz's hand.

"Well good luck to you too, sir." Lawrence responded. "I do hope that we all come out of here in one piece."

"What do you mean? We're gonna be fine. I-I mean, it's just an obstacle course, right? R-Right...?"

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. The Wipeout Zone is no ordinary obstacle course. It is the obstacle course that puts all other obstacle courses to shame. Doofenshmirtz would find this out the hard way as he readied himself at the top of the course on the Dreadmill Launch. "Oh...oh I have a very bad feeling about this..."

"Well folks, this is it! The moment we have all been waiting for..." John Anderson narrated. "The Wipeout Zone! Here a champion will be crowned and one of our remaining three contestants will walk away with $50,000."

"Here our contestants must prove their mettle and tackle the biggest obstacles our little show has to offer." John Henson added. "We start off with the Dreadmill Launch. Our players will run across the Dreadmill and launch themselves into our endless bank of water. Once there, they will swim towards the Gutbusters, which are a series of platforms that go up and down as you try to move across them. Then you have the Sinistairs, where our contestants have to run up a spiral staircase around our rotating tower with mini sweeper arms trying to knock them down.

"And last, but not least, The Gauntlet. By far our toughest obstacle, as it consists of _Spiked Whackers_ and _Arms & Dangerous_, two obstacles in one. In Spiked Whackers, two flapping panels with spikes on them that flap into the walkway and players must time them carefully to avoid being whacked. In Arms and Dangerous, there's a narrow walkway with spinning arms that are right in the running path of the contestant. The contestant must time their run past each arm carefully to avoid being knocked into the water. Then it's one more small jump and then they're finished."

"Alright, that's all there is to that. Now it's time to start the final round, and the player with the fastest time wins the ultimate prize. Our first contestant in the Wipeout Zone is 'I'm-Not-a-Real-Doctor' Heinz Doofenshmirtz."

Doofenshmirtz got himself psyched up. "OK, Heinz. You can do this. You can definitely do this. I-It's just an intimidating obstacle course, and it's all that's standing in the way of you and an expensive new -inator. I-I mean, the worst that can happen is that I get really wet and tired, right? Right?"

The horn sounded signaling the start of the round. The Dreadmill began to move rapidly which knocked Doofesnhmirtz off guard. "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! I-I'm not ready yet! I-I'm not ready! I don't have good-" Before he even realized it, he was off the Dreadmill and falling into the water. "FOOTINGGGGGGGGGGG..."

**_Splash!_**

He hit the water hard, drawing mockery from both Johns in the commentary booth. He had to swim ferociously towards the next obstacle - the Gutbusters. He climbed up and got himself situated onto the first platform. But as he was standing up, it moved upward, knocking him back down. He took a good long look at the platforms and saw that they were all moving the same one the one he was standing on was moving. "O-Oh boy. T-This is ridiculous!"

Frustration aside, he pressed on, and with careful - and slow - movement he was able to get passed the obstacle without getting knocked down into the water. However, he needed a minute and a half to complete it. Next was the Sinistairs. There, he figured he would have a tougher time than at the Gutbusters. So, he reached into his now-soaked lab coat and tried to fiddle with yet another mini-inator. The problem was that he was so drenched in water they became short-circuited.

Doofenshmirtz realized this when his "Transparent-Yourself-inator" - which would have given him the ability to have solid objects pass through him for a brief time - did not activate when he pressed the On button. "O-oh come on. This is crazy! Why must Perry the Platypus torment me like this?" He believed that Perry had something to do with his -inators not working. But this time Perry was not involved in any aspect.

And Doofenshmirtz had only himself to blame when the Sweeper Arm came around and hit Doofenshmirtz right in the kisser and knocked him into the water. Doofenshmirtz had such a hard time swimming to get back to the obstacle it took him a full minute just to get back. Unfortunately, with his -inators now even more soaked than ever, he used even more caution, costing him even more time. But this time he was able to avoid a knockdown. He got to the top of the tower with over 8 minutes clocked already.

Unfortunately, it was now time for the final obstacle - the Gauntlet. It was the hardest one of all as it consisted of two obstacles meshed into one. The first was Spiked Whackers. Doofenshmirtz took a brief moment to examine the course and try to time it. When he came to the conclusion that simply timing it would not help him, he pulled out a remote from his pocket which, despite being soaking wet, was able to help him out. It enabled him to significantly slow down the speed of the whackers, allowing him to seamlessly pass through them without any trouble.

The Arms & Dangerous part of the course, though, was the tricky part. With rotating arms that would potentially come around and knock him over, Doofenshmirtz knew that this would be the biggest challenge of them all. With over 10 minutes already wasted, he knew he had to make a good run to put up a respectable time. So after taking a few seconds to study the rotations, he made his move.

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

As a result, he ended up knocked into the water again. He was clearly frustrated now. Frustrated and exhausted. He made his way back to the beginning of the Arms & Dangerous portion, and began to time it again. This time he appeared to have an easier time timing it. Unfortunately for him, he was so soaked to the brim he slipped as he reached the edge of the platform and fell back into the water.

On the third try, he was finally able to make it all the way across with no further issues. But all the setbacks cost him previous time.

"And finally, after forever it seems, 'I'm-Not-a-Real-Doctor' Heinz Doofenshmirtz finishes the course with a time of 14 minutes and 49 seconds. But will it be enough to take home the money?"

As Doofenshmirtz made his way over to the sidelines, cold, wet, and fatigued, he began to contemplate his options as he caught wind of his time in the distance. "Curses! No way that time will hold up. The Antiques guy may be clumsy but he's also determined. And that woman...well, I don't know exactly what she has going for her, but she's a person. T-That I know for sure. It appears as though my plans to cheat by using the -inators to benefit me hasn't exactly worked. But now I have the chance to use my -inators to sabotage their games. You know, assuming Perry the Platypus doesn't come in any time and-"

As if by magic, Perry showed up and punched Doofenshmirtz from the back, knocking him to the ground. "Perry the Platypus!" He shouted as he faced his nemesis. "I see you _have_ been here this whole time, and I guess that sort of makes sense. I mean you want to conceal your identity from the public eye. But now that you have revealed yourself, I will make sure that I get my hands on you and-" Before he could continue, Perry unleashed a smoke bomb on him and managed to disappear. "Perry the Pla-oh, I don't believe this! He's gone!" He growled to himself.

True to his word, Doofenshmirtz attempted to use all of his -inators to stop Lawrence and Dina in their tracks so he could win the money. But Lawrence was very quick on his feet and only made a few stumbles along the way. He cleared the course in a far better time - 10 minutes and 24 seconds. He easily knocked Doofenshmirtz off the leaderboard; as such Doofenshmirtz cursed his name & Perry's name before walking off the set in frustration.

Unfortunately for Lawrence, his fortunes were short lived; Dina also outclassed him on the course. She finished with a sparkling time of 7 minutes and 16 seconds. As a result she knocked off Lawrence from the top spot, and she claimed the $50,000 top prize. While Lawrence was still really happy with the results of his overall game, he was disappointed to learn that there was no prize for second place.

* * *

Back at home, late that night, the entire Flynn-Fletcher family (including the still-ill Phineas and Isabella) was gathered in the living room; Lawrence had shown them the entirety of his appearance on 'Wipeout', and while mostly everyone enjoyed the show itself, there were some lingering questions. Linda was the first to speak up.

"Um, Lawrence? Honey?" Linda said. "Why did you show us this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well honey, I never knew that you had a liking for these kinds of game shows. They seem kind of painful."

"And humiliating." Candace added.

Lawrence sighed. "Alright. The truth is I signed up to go on this game show so I could earn myself a new reputation."

"New reputation? What are you talking about, Dad?" Phineas asked, his voice still clearly impeded by his illness.

"I know that you all think of me as a clumsy oaf, and so I wanted to go on this show and win so you would all stop thinking of me as a clumsy oaf."

"Is that what this was all about?" Linda asked. She smiled and stood up. "Lawrence," She walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulder. "You _are_ a clumsy oaf."

"See? I knew it!"

"But you're _our_ clumsy oaf, and we love you either way." The others spoke at the same time in agreement; different things but the same message. Then they all joined Linda and Lawrence in a brief group hug.

"So, Dad..." Candace started as they all pulled away. "What'd you win for 2nd place?"

"Oh wouldn't you know it? There was no prize for second place." Lawrence answered cheerfully; Candace and the others expressed disappointment.

"Well, that's a bit of a letdown." Isabella commented after a brief moment of silence.

"Yeah, that's kind of a mood killer." Phineas agreed, as he turned to Perry, who had turned up earlier back in his mindless pet mode. "Right, Perry?" Perry let out his signature noise in agreement.

**End of Episode 66!**

**Well that's it for this episode. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are always welcome. Oh, and HOW PSYCHED ARE YOU GUYS FOR THE NEW STAR WARS SPECIAL COMING NEXT YEAR!? Is that, like, the craziest PnF news we could get?**


	85. 67a: Extreme Makeover Hideout Edition

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 67a: ********************************************************Extreme Makeover: Hideout Edition********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************:**** After one of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's inventions destroys the Fireside Girls' lodge, Phineas & Ferb build them a bigger & better one behind their back. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz returns to Drusselstein in order to collect the one boy scout patch he never earned as a child.**

**************************************************A/N: I don't know about you but I am STOKED for the 'Star Wars' special expected to come out next year. But not only that, Dan Povenmire said that it was only one of FOUR hour-long specials expected to come out within the next year (and that's not counting 'Mission Marvel' either!) How insane is that!? Four - count 'em - FOUR one-hour specials within the next year. "Mission Marvel" coming in August is only gonna be their 2nd (not counting "Across The 2nd Dimension")**

**************************************************A/N: So if any of you want to speculate as to what the other 3 specials are gonna be, be my guest! I'm open to anything. Anything to pass the time as I try to grind through the next year and a half in anticipation. I'll be watching...and waiting.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun was up at high noon in Danville, and up at Dr. Doofenshmirtz's evil lair, Norm the robot was doing some house cleaning while on the phone with Doofenshmirtz, who was all the way in Drusselstein for some reason.

"_And make sure you dust off **all** of my -inators, Norm!"_ Doofenshmirtz bellowed over the phone. "_I better not come home and find that you left any dust or missed any of them_."

"Not to worry, boss." Norm said. "I have everything under control. You have nothing to worry about."

_"Are you kidding me? With you I'm always worried. In fact, you give me more anxiety than Perry the Platypus. And that's saying something considering he's a secret agent...and a platypus."_

While Doofenshmirtz was going off, Norm got to one of the -inators that was sitting right by the ledge. But while he was dusting it, Norm accidentally pressed the On button on the -inator, and it fired a laser right over the ledge and deep into town. "_What was that?"_ Doofenshmirtz asked, still on the other line.

"Nothing sir." Norm said, clearly beginning to panic.

_"Are you sure? C-Cause I could've sworn I heard the sound of an -inator going off. I thought I told you not to play with them."_

"No need to get antsy, boss. So one of them accidentally went off. What's the worst that could happen?"

What Norm did not know was that the -inator Norm had bumped into and set off was the "Disassemble-inator" which had enough power in itself to completely disassemble any building within seconds. The blast headed off into town...

* * *

Meanwhile, in town, the Fireside Girls were just about to wrap up another one of their meetings. "And finally, for our last order of business, our multi-deluxe soda machine that we ordered last week will be here in time for next week's meeting. So if there's nothing else..."

As Isabella was about to wrap up the meeting, the "Disassemble-inator" blast hit the lodge. From that very instant, the walls of the lodge began to cave in. "W-What's happening?" Isabella asked with a clear hint of fear in her voice.

"The walls are caving in! We gotta get out of here!" Adyson shouted. The girls all followed suit...in a panicky, out-of-order sort of way.

"Girls! Head for the exit! Single file!" Isabella yelled out orders to keep her girls in check. But it was no use; they were all in fear of the collapsing walls and the falling debris. Soon Isabella cued in and decided it wasn't worth it, and she followed her girls out the door as erratically as she could. As they all found a safe zone, they turned to watch their beloved lodge crumble to the ground. They all expressed horror on their faces.

"Chief...what just happened?" Gretchen asked her clearly-shaken leader. Everyone fought to hold tears back.

"I-I don't know. A-And I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it for my own eyes." Isabella choked up. "Our beloved Fireside Girls lodge is...is gone! Reduced to rubble!"

"What the heck did this?" Holly asked.

"I don't know. Maybe there _is_ some truth to the "random green rays from the sky" theory Buford keeps yammering on about." Adyson said. **(A/N: A reference to the episode "Bully Bust")**

"What are we going to do now? We can't go on not having a Fireside Girls lodge! That's like a bride and groom having a wedding without the justice of the peace!" **(A/N: A reference to "Candace's Big Day")**

"Chief, what are we supposed to do?" Gretchen asked Isabella, who refused to answer. "Chief? Chief!"

"What do you want from me? I don't have the answers!" Isabella shouted in frustration.

"Then why don't you say that instead of keeping your mouth shut?"

"Because a good girl scouts leader is supposed to show no fear to her troops; she's supposed to have all the answers. We're never supposed to say "I don't know."

"Don't you think you're being a little overly dramatic, Isabella?"

"Duh! That's one of my jobs as troop leader. It's all in the manual."

"Well none of that is really important right now!" Adyson shouted. "In case you haven't noticed...WE HAVE NO LODGE!"

"Looks like we have no choice. We're gonna need to call Phineas and Ferb." Holly relented.

"What makes you think we can't rebuild our own lodge on our own, Holly?" Isabella asked with a slight hint of arrogance.

"Would you rather be here all day building it or have Phineas & Ferb do it in half an hour?" Holly asked. Isabella went silent for a moment before conceding.

"Fine, I'll call them." She said as she took out her cellphone and separated herself from the group.

"I hope they bring Perry this time." Milly admitted to Ginger. "Where do you think he runs off to every day?" Ginger responded with a shrug.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz in his home country!**_

Meanwhile, Perry was all the way in Drusselstein, on assignment from Major Monogram. He tracked Doofenshmirtz all the way to the woods where a very tall mountain rested. He noticed his nemesis wearing what appeared to be a boys scout uniform standing next to an extremely tall mountain of sorts.

"Perry the Platypus! Oh I'm so glad you could make it!" He said cheerfully. "You're just in time. I'm about to make Drusselstein history!" He raised his arms triumphantly and followed that up with a laugh. Perry raised an eyebrow, a sign of confusion. "Oh, y-yeah that's right. I haven't given you my...back story yet." He cleared his throat. "Right. Let me get to that."

"So it all started many years ago...I was an honorary Drusselstenian Peasant-Schnitzel. Yeah, that's what we're called. It's part of the Drusselstein Boy Scouts Program. I-It's complicated; I won't go into details. Long story short, if you collected all of your badges, you were upgraded to honorary Drusselstenian Peasant-Man. By the way, have you noticed, Perry the Platypus, that boy scouts call them "badges" but girl scouts call them "patches?" I mean what's up with that? T-There's really virtually no difference in the way they are presented. It makes no sense to me!"

"Anyway, as you can see by my sash..." He directed Perry's attention to his sash which was full of badges. "I have collected nearly all of my badges from when I was a Drusselstenian Peasant-Schnitzel. However..." He then directed his attention to the big gaping space on his sash. "There was one badge - just one - that I never earned. It's the final badge all boy scouts earn on their quest to manhood. It is called the "Manhood" badge." He spoke the last two words in a demon-like tone and lightning flashed behind him. "D-Did you notice the lightning too?"

"Anyway, here's how it works. It can only be earned once you have earned all the other badges a Peasant-Schnitzel can earn. Once you have, you are brought to this - the Drusselstein Mountain O' Manliness! It stands at over 2,000 feet in altitude. Only the bravest of men can conquer the lack of oxygen, air sickness, and fear of the high altitudes. If I can complete this climb in under one hour, then I'll earn my "Manhood" badge and finally be upgraded to Peasant-Man! Then I will no longer be the only one of my original boy scout group to have failed to earn this badge."

Perry rolled his eyes.

"OK, before you say anything, Perry the Platypus...I wasn't the _only_ one to have failed this task the first time I gave it a go. A lot of my fellow scouts also failed their first attempt. Of course, you are allowed to attempt it more than once, and...that's when it got ugly. Because while my co-scouts all earned their badge, I...I struggled. I must've tried, like, 20 times after my first failure but I could never earn it."

"I was constantly mocked by my peers and even my troop leader turned his back on me. And my father & I grew increasingly distant after that. And then I went to America and I kinda forgot all about this. But I've returned. And do you know why? Well, of course not. I haven't told you. I've returned because tomorrow Drusselstein will be inducting my original Peasant-Schnitzel scout members onto the "Drusselstein Wall of Adequacy." Every member of that group will receive their own plaque to honor their achievement. But you only get honored if if have earned every badge, like the "Manhood" badge."

"Of course I haven't earned it. But that's why I've returned. Today I will climb the Mountain O' Manliness in less than one hour and earn that badge! Then I will receive my own plaque on the wall as well as the respect I deserve from my peers, my troop leader, and my father! If I don't, I'll be the laughing stock of all of Drusselstein! But I have a plan!"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be two gloves. He proceeded to slip them on. "I shall put these gloves on, and they will allow my hands to stick onto the surface of the rock so should I slip or...I don't know, an earthquake hit or something, I'll be safe on the rock. There will be nothing anybody can do to stop me! And that includes you, Perry the Platypus! Which reminds me..."

As Doofenshmirtz got himself ready, a security guard in a black suit stepped in and picked Perry up. "Sorry, sir. All visitors must stay behind the red rope while the climbing is in progress." He said as he carried Perry towards the group of people who had gathered to watch Doofenshmirtz either earn his way to the Wall of Adequacy or fail miserably and become the mockery of the country.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Danville, Phineas and Ferb had arrived at the spot where the Fireside Girls lodge once stood proudly. The girls were clearly devastated with the loss of their lodge, while Phineas & Ferb were merely confused. "So...how did this happen again?" Phineas asked, referring to the lodge's destruction.

"We're not sure. One minute I was wrapping out our meeting, and the next it started falling apart at the seams." Isabella explained.

"Yeah, but how did this happen?"

"We don't know."

"Perhaps there is truth to Buford's "random green rays from the sky" theory." Ferb interjected.

"So...will you help us build our lodge back up?" She asked with a look of desparation on her face.

"No. No we won't." Phineas answered, which initially upset them. But little did they know he wasn't finished. "Ferb and I are going to build you an even bigger, better, more state-of-the-art lodge! Why should you guys have to live in the stone age anyway when there's a world of technology that you could utilize?"

"Hey! That lodge has stood for over 50 years." Isabella argued. "It's the very symbol of our troop. Our house of fortitude!"

"Isabella, that thing was falling apart at the seams." Holly argued. "We've talked about wanting to give the lodge a makeover. Maybe this was the kick in the pants we needed."

"I guess."

"Come on, Isabella! It'll be fine. You'll see. I'm sure you're gonna be really happy with the finished product."

So Phineas and Ferb got to work on the new lodge. Although the Fireside Girls weren't allowed to see the plans that Phineas & Ferb had with them, they were able to help them somewhat with the construction of the building itself. That took very little time to do. But then came the decorations of the lodge on the inside. That was one element in which the girls were not allowed to assist. Phineas & Ferb wanted the finishing product to be a surprise. Naturally, Isabella and the rest of her troop were disappointed to be left out, but they were also optimistic about the final result.

* * *

Back in Drusselstein, Doofenshmirtz was in position to start his climb. He had exactly one hour to scale a 3,000 foot high mountain to earn his "Manhood" badge - the final badge needed to complete the Drusselstein Peasant-Schnitzel collection and thus be upgraded to Peasant-Man status. Of course little did Doofenshmirtz know, the rules from his time as a young boy to now were changed drastically.

The official monitoring Doofenshmirtz stepped forward with a stopwatch. "Are you ready?" He asked.

"Wait, wait. Just give me a second to do some breathing exercises and-"

_**"GO!"**_

Startled and slightly anxious, he started scaling up the mountain. His super sticky gloves were keeping his hands firmly on the mountain as he scaled upward. He went under the assumption that the only obstacle he would have to conquer was the mountain. Unfortunately, he could not be more wrong.

About ten minutes into the challenge, Doofenshmirtz had made amazing progress. Without having to rely on upper body strength to climb, he was able to climb about 800 feet of the 2,000 he needed to climb. Despite his fragile body frame, he was very quick & agile, and he was able to climb for long periods of time at a very fast fate. However, he had been climbing largely uninterrupted. That would not be the case anymore..."

"PEASANT MEN!" The official shouted from the sidelines next to the alumni group of scouts. "Ready your rocks!" On command, each of the scouts held out their hands; each hand held a rock.

"Rocks? W-What's going on?" Doofenshmirtz shouted.

"You mean you haven't read the newest version of the "Peasant-Schnitzel Boy Scouts" manual?" The official shouted back. "Page 207, Section 4, Sub-section h: "Any Peasant-Schnitzel who attempts to earn the "Manhood" badge will be subject to various humiliating tasks. These tasks included, but are not limited to, the throwing of rocks at said climber, splashing paint, an "absurd amount of water" dropped on ye head, and last but not least...hidden explosive devices planted on the mountain."

"Explosives planted on the mountain?" Doofenshmirtz said to himself as he continued climbing. "What do they mean by..." But before he could finish his thought, it was explained to him. He discovered that his super sticky gloves had accidentally picked up one of the explosive devices. It was stuck on his hand, and before Doofenshmirtz even had a chance to react and attempt to pull it off from his hand, it exploded. The explosion was small, but it burned his hand badly. He screamed in pain.

"And remember, if at any time both hands come off the mountain at the same time _or_ you fail to reach the top of the mountain within the time limit, you are disqualified!" The official reminded him, causing Doofenshmirtz to become even more nervous.

"Explosives? Rock-throwing? Paint? I don't remember any of this back in my day." Doofenshmirtz said to himself as he yelled down. "Hey! Toss me that book, will ya!" The official tossed Doofenshmirtz the book; it was bookmarked to the very page that was just read aloud. "Huh. This is strange." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out several pieces of paper. "Guess there's been a few changes to the manual since my days as a-" The book was suddenly knocked out of Doofenshmirtz's hand by an oncoming rock. But with the book went the super sticky glove. "My glove!"

With one glove gone, his climb up the mountain suddenly became much more difficult. He still had the other glove, but with only one glove, he would have to rely on pure strength from his other arm to keep himself up. Being a notorious weakling, this was a tough challenge for him.

"Well, this is just great." He said to himself. "Without that glove I'm in deep trouble." He sounded discouraged. He felt that even with plenty of time left and nearly half of the climb already done, he wouldn't be able to do it. "But...I can't give up!" As he was talking to himself, the other scouts threw more rocks at him and at one point began splashing him with paint. "No. I must think of all the accolades that are waiting for me at the end. The cheers...the respect...the plaque...the decreased scorn from mother and father...yes! Yes, I must press on!"

So Doofenshmirtz continued to climb. Despite his lack of upper body strength and excruciating pain throughout the majority of the climb, he continued pressing on. He decided that he would either get to the top of the mountain, earn his badge, and earn his place on the Wall of Adequacy, or collapse from exhaustion trying. His morale took a huge hit with every paintball/rock/gallon of water aimed at him by his fellow scouts.

So when he got near the top - with less than five minutes remaining on the clock - and saw none other than Perry the Platypus standing there holding his hand out for Doofenshmirtz to grab, all he could do was cry out in pride. "P-P-Perry the Platypus!"

* * *

Back in Danville, Phineas & Ferb had spent nearly an entire hour decorating the Fireside Girls' lodge. While they were, the girls decided to settle down for some PB&J sandwiches made by Adyson. Since Phineas & Ferb insisted that the confines of the new lodge be kept a surprise until they were done, they decided that sitting around and moping would do nothing for them.

Finally, Phineas & Ferb came out the front door. Sweaty & tired, they beamed with excitement. "Girls...are you ready to see your new lodge?"

Every girl instantly sat up and began cheering loudly. The boys led the girls inside the lodge, and what they laid their eyes on blew them all away. The inside of the lodge looked like a military base; the walls were made of pure steel, yet the interior was decorated to mimic the old "log cabin" model they had in their previous lodge. Not even the most powerful of nuclear weapons could penetrate it. A bunch of "ooh's" and "aah's" came from the group of girls.

Even the equipment looked brand new. The computers all had bigger screens and better graphics; a high-def TV was installed into one of the walls, the kitchen equipment was new and improved, and as an added bonus, there was a "panic room" as the boys called it, in the event that an emergency arises and they need to get to lower ground.

In addition to the smaller improvements made by the boys, they also added a brand new security system that would make any intruder think twice before entering the confines uninvited. Needless to say, by the time the presentation of the new lodge was over, the girls were extremely impressed.

"Wow, Phineas. This is so amazing!" Isabella said, echoing the sentiments shared by the girls. She walked over to him and gave him a kiss. "I can't believe you did this for us!"

"Wasn't just me. Ferb mapped out the amazing design for this. I just helped build it."

"Well you still helped, and I'm grateful for that." She said as she kissed him again. "So now that you're finished, would you guys like some PB&J sandwiches? Adyson made them herself." As she said this, Adyson came over with two sandwiches. Phineas & Ferb both took one and began to consume it.

"Hey guys!" Holly asked; she was standing near an open window and there was a giant ray pointing out the window. "What's this thing?"

"Oh that's out "Decorator Ray." We used it to decorate the lodge. It took a while for us to use that thing. Basically it strips down the basic layer of whatever surface it's aimed at and then decorates it into any image that we want."

"Cool." She expressed her admiration, then accidentally pressed the On button. It blasted a green ray that miraculously found and bounced off several mirrors along the way. Through all of that, it somehow managed to make its way to...

* * *

"Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted as he neared the top of the mountain. His nemesis was waiting there with an out-stretched hand to help him up and claim his victory. "I-I can't believe you're here! You're here to support me!" Doofenshmirtz was almost reduced to tears. "I can't believe this! I am about to fulfill my childhood dream and get my "Manhood" badge, and I have to say I am honored it is with you. There is nobody in this world I would rather share this success that with-"

Before poor old Doofenshmirtz could say anything more, the beam launched from the "Decorator Ray" hit the rubble that Doofenshmirtz was climbing on near the top of the mountain. Like Phineas said, the top layer of the rubble was immediately stripped, which meant Doofenshmirtz lost grip from both hands of the mountain. As a result, he was not able to get to the top; Perry's best efforts to get a hand on him before he started falling failed. "CURSE YOU RANDOM GREEN RAY FROM THE SKY!" He yelled as he plummeted towards the Earth.

There was a safety net several feet above the ground so Doofenshmirtz did not sustain any injuries...at least physical injuries. But the failure to complete the task subjected him to the ridicule of everyone around him, including his former troop members and his parents, who walked away quietly from the scene with bags over their heads.

Once they were all done laughing, everyone around him left. Perry flew down on his jetpack to comfort his nemesis. "I-I don't believe it. I was _so _close. Literally, I was inches away from victory. And now any chance I have to claim my badge before the ceremony tonight is gone! I don't understand how that could happen. T-That random green ray came out of nowhere. And it destroyed that rubble!" He shouted as he looked up at the rubble and discovered that the area that was hit was replaced with a nice "log cabin" design. "Oh well. At least it left a nice design there."

Perry proceeded to pat his shoulder to comfort him. "Thank you, Perry the Platypus." He said dejectedly. "At least I know I can count on you. I guess there's nothing left to do but go home."

As they were about to stand up, one of his former scouts came over again with a paintball in his hands and threw it at Doofenshmirtz. "Loser!" He yelled before running off.

Doofenshmirtz, annoyed, could only say, "This better not be permanent ink. These clothes are dry clean only."

**End of Episode 67a!**

**Well there you have it. One episode down. Now just a year and a half to go until those specials come out. And let the speculation...BEGIN!**


	86. 67b: Pet Show

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 67b: ************************************************************Pet Show********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************:******** The Fireside Girls are chosen to be the hosts for this year's "Semi-Annual Pet Show", and there is a lot more at stake than mere bragging rights. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz creates a "Shed-inator" to cause all the pets at the pet show to shed all of their fur or hair.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Enjoying their new lodge, the Fireside Girls were all hanging out inside. Without another meeting for at least another week, they decided not to let their new lodge go to waste. "Who knew Phineas and Ferb could turn our old lodge into such a swankin' hangout?" Exclaimed Milly, to which the other girls turned and looked at her. "What?"

"What kind of word is "swankin'?" Holly asked.

"I don't know. I heard it on TV."

"Milly, you've gotta stop believing everything you hear on TV."

"She's right. Otherwise you'll never earn your "Don't Believe Everything You Hear on TV" patch." Adyson scolded. She wanted to say more, but was interrupted when there came the "Fireside Girls Secret Knock" (**From "Isabella and the Temple of Sap**). Once the girls realized it was Isabella, they ran to open the door and greet her.

"Hey girls!" She said, holding a piece of paper in her hand. "Check out this letter I received in the mail this morning."

"Since when does Danville do mail delivery in the morning?" Katie asked.

"Shh! You're ruining the plot of this episode!" Adyson whispered back.

"It's from the Mayor: It says..." Isabella cleared her throat. "_Dear Fireside Girls troop 46231, we would like to congratulate you on your swankin' new lodge."_

"See? I told you people use that word." Milly said crossing her arms.

"_It is with great pride that we cordially request the use of your lodge as host for the Semi-Annual Pet Show for this afternoon. Best regards, Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz._"

"Way to give us advanced notice. How are we supposed to get this place ready for this afternoon?" Adyson asked. Isabella walked over to the front of the room. She reached underneath the desk there and pressed a button. A control panel with a bunch of buttons and levers on it popped up from the floor. She fiddled with the levers and pressed some buttons, and within seconds, the entire lodge was changed to reflect that of a pet show setting. The girls were nothing short of awe-struck.

"What _is_ that?" Gretchen asked Isabella about the control panel._  
_

"Like it? It's a multi-functional control panel. It can transform the look of this new lodge into anything we want from thousands of possibilities. It'll be great when we need to camouflage ourselves from when vending machines become the dominant race. **(From "Across The 2nd Dimension")** It cost me, but it was worth it."**  
**

"What do you mean it "cost you?"

"It wasn't part of the original design. But I brought it up during a conversation with him and he thought it was a good idea. He said it would cost me, though."

"Cost you what?"

Isabella giggled. "You know a girl never kisses and tells..." This was met with a bunch of immature giggles from her friends.

"Hey, why don't we enter _our_ pets into the pet show?" Adyson suggested.

"Sorry, Adyson. You should know. The Fireside Girls manual prevents us in competing in any competition we host due to a fear of "bias."

"That stinks."

"Don't be that way, Adyson. I think it's a forgone conclusion that none of us would've won anyway." Isabella responded, and it was met with varying levels of agreement from her girls. "Now let's finish setting up. The show'll start in less than an hour. We've gotta get moving!"

"I wonder what kind of pets we're gonna see..." Holly thought aloud.

* * *

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!**_

Meanwhile, Perry was on his way to his nemesis's lair when he got his mission through his communicator watch. "_Agent P, we've got a situation_." Monogram said. "_Our Intel has informed us that Doofenshmirtz is planning a very ghastly scheme."_

_"Ghastly?" _Carl, also visible on the watch, said with a questioning tone.

_"What? It's a word! Anyway, we've learned that Doofenshmirtz is planning to enter the "Semi-Annual Pet Show" taking place at the lodge of Fireside Girls troop 46231. By the way, have you seen that place? It is swankin'!"_

_"Sir, now you're just making words up."_

_"Oh lighten up, Carl! Doofenshmirtz has himself a brand new pet that he is going to enter into the show. We also believe he has created some sort of -inator that will help sabotage the rest of the competition. We need you to stop him before he causes any havoc. Monogram out."_

Perry saluted Monogram and went off. He arrived at Doofenshmirtz's lair and busted through the door. He caught eye of Doofenshmirtz holding a dog by a leash. "Perry the Platypus," He slowly turned around to face him; his dog followed suit. "I'd like you to meet my newest pet..." When the dog became fully revealed, Perry discovered that it was none other than Only Son, the dog Doofenshmirtz's father owned during his childhood. "Only Son!"

Perry's eyes went wide in shock. "You like? It's my father's show-winning pet from back in my days in Gimmelshtump. Now you must be wondering, "But Doof! How could this be? Wouldn't he have passed years ago from old age?" And you'd be right. Except..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny clear eye drop container. "For this! It's a little something I've been working on. See I was trying to make something that changes your eye color but instead it seems I've invented a resurrection concoction that managed to bring my father's dog back to its former glory."

"You remember the story, right? My father won him in "Poke the Goozim With a Stick" and he became an award winning dog. A-And I was stuck being the lawn gnome. Y-You remember that, right? OK, good. So anyway, I'm going to enter Only Son into the pet show in the hopes of winning. Then I plan on rubbing the success in my parents' faces. I'd love to see the looks on their faces when they see me in all my success!"

"Now I know what you're thinking. "But Doof! Didn't you already do this scheme last summer?" And the answer is you're half right. Yes, I entered a dog show last year. But that was with a different pet...a-actually, technically, I entered with _you, _Perry the Platypus. But this time, I'm doing it with the very pet that brought my family fame and fortune in my childhood!"

"Now, as Only Son has only been resurrected for a mere...uh, let's say 2 hours...the odds of him having reta-actually, y-you know what? I'm never sure. Was he a "he" or a "she?" I've asked myself that plenty of times and I have never gotten around to answering that. Anywho, not important. The point is I'm not sure if he's retained any of the tricks he learned in his first life. That is why I have a back-up plan."

He shifted Perry's attention to a nearby table; on it rested a tiny ray gun. "Behold! I give you...the Shed-inator! I just aim it at any animal I choose and instantly all their hair or fur falls off, thereby causing immeasurable chaos! I mean, seriously, how awkward would that be. Y-You're just standing there and then your pet suddenly loses all of its hair and/or fur. Tell me, does that spell "award-winning pet" to you?"

"Now..." Doofenshmirtz reached into his pocket and pulled out a remote. He pressed the button on it and then ran to his new -inator, grabbing it before heading out to his balcony. "Since I don't have a scheme-specific trap ready for you, I'm just going to trap you inside my lair." As he went out to his balcony, metal doors began to close from the top from the main entrance as well as the balcony entrance. "Feel free to snack on anything in my refrigerator and watch my television. It will be the last freedom you will ever have! A HA HA HA HA HA!"

Doofenshmirtz took off on his hovercraft as the metal doors sealed off all available exits, leaving Perry trapped inside his evil lair. Perry, however, did not feel any urgency. Instead, he went into Doofenshmirtz's kitchen and heated up a bag of popcorn. He then walked over to his television and turned it on. Seeing no real urgency - that stemming from a slight assumption that Doofenshmirtz would end up foiling himself somehow - he decided to watch an On Demand movie...and not a free one either.

* * *

Meanwhile, down at the pet show, the Fireside Girls were finished setting up the inside of their lodge as well as the outside surroundings in preparation for the show. "Looking good, girls." Isabella said of the set. "Everything appears to be in place." She checked her watch. "And our contestants should be arriving any moment. Holly! Ginger! Go handle the sign-in booth."

Ginger and Holly saluted as they followed the order. As they were leaving, Phineas & Ferb were arriving. "Hey guys!" Phineas said happily. "What'cha doin'?"

"Phineas!" Isabella shouted in delight as he ran over to hug her. "We're just setting up for the "Danville Semi-Annual Pet Competiton."

"Yeah we heard you guys got chosen to host it thanks to your swankin' new lodge."

Milly scoffed then turned to Adyson. "And you said nobody uses that word."

"We just wanted to stop by and see if you guys needed any help."

"Well we've pretty much got the whole event covered, but you guys can stay if you want. We have refreshments inside."

"Thanks, Isabella." He kissed her cheek and followed Ferb to the lodge. Isabella stood there and stared lovingly at him as he walked away.

Meanwhile at the sign-in booth, Doofenshmirtz arrived with Only Son. "Yes, I'd like to sign up for the pet show."

"What's your pet's name?" Ginger asked holding a clipboard and pencil.

"Only Son." Doofenshmirtz said confidently.

"Only Son, hmm?" Holly said with a suspicious tone.

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"No, no." But she caught herself before she came off as too suspicious. "No problems at all." She handed him a name tag with his name and his pet's name on it. "Good luck."

"Why thank you, little girl. But I won't be needing luck." Doofenshmirtz bragged as he left the booth. "_I_ have an award-winning dog." He boasted as he walked away. Holly remained suspicious as she watched him walk away.

"What's the deal, Holly?" Ginger asked taking note of Holly's suspicious attitude.

"Only Son...I've heard that name before, but I just don't know where."

"We've all heard a lot of names in a lot of places. Doesn't mean anything." Ginger didn't share Holly's skepticism. While she thought it was just a case of paranoia, Holly smelled a rat (metaphorically, not literally)

On the other side, Phineas came out of the lodge will a bullhorn. "Ladies and gentlemen and pets everywhere! Welcome to the Semi-Annual Pet Competition!" Everyone in the crowd briefly cheered loudly. "Here we're going to test your pets in a variety of areas, starting with appearance, and then working out way to athletic skills. Our Fireside Girls will judge all your pets and then at the end, we'll pick a winner."

"What's the grand prize?" Doofenshmirtz shouted, which brought everyone's attention to him.

"That's the fun part. We won't reveal the prize until the winner is declared." Phineas responded, which slightly ticked off Doofenshmirtz.

"Wait, how is that fun? If we don't know what the prize is, what's our motivation?"

"If you don't want to be here, you can leave!" Someone in the crowd shouted; it was revealed to be Hildegard Johnson, Jeremy's grandmother, who shouted that. She was there with Suzy's poodle. Doofenshmirtz shrugged off the remarks and turned his attention back to Only Son.

"Don't listen to that mean, mean woman, Only Son." He said to him. "We are going to win this and then I am going to take you out for night of rubbing my success in our family's face. That's right. When mother and father see that I have emerged victorious using you as my pawn, they will have no choice but to show me respect! And then I will use my new found respect to take over the Tri-State Area! A HA HA HA!"

As Doofenshmirtz was laughing, a passer-by couldn't help but shake his head at him. Doofenshmirtz didn't take kindly to this.

Meanwhile, back at the sign-up booth, the final contestants had signed up, which meant Ginger & Holly's jobs were finished. "Thank you, and good luck." Ginger said to the finally competitor as she walked off, leaving the two girls by themselves. They sighed heavily. "Thank goodness that's over with." Ginger said.

"Fifty-seven contestants. Boy, it's going to be really tough for them to choose a winner from all of these entries." Holly responded. As she skimmed down the list, the name "Only Son" caught her eye again. She let out a "hmm" prompting Ginger to ask.

"Don't tell me you're still hung up on that name."

"I'm telling you I've heard it somewhere before. Look, I gotta go check something." She said as he hasted her way to the lodge. Inside, there were many competitors who were enjoying the refreshments and the new decor, while their pets were being judged outside by Phineas, Ferb, and the other Fireside Girls.

Holly wasted no time in getting to the computer. The name of Doofenshmirtz's dog kept bothering her because she was convinced it was familiar. She decided to end the speculation and do some research on the internet to see whether she was right or paranoid.

Speaking of Only Son, it was his turn to be judged. Isabella, Phineas, and Ferb took their time examining Only Son's physical appearance. "Everything seems to be in order here." Phineas remarked, noticing no visible flaws or oddities with Only Son. "Nice work. It's obvious you take good care of your pet."

"Of course I do! He's an award-winning dog!" Doofenshmirtz scolded.

"But that's just the health & wellness portion. Now let's see what kind of tricks you taught it."

"You want to see a trick? I'll show you a trick. Only Son!" Upon hearing his name, Only Son stood up straight instantly. "Fetch." Immediately Only Son walked away from the group, and he came back seconds later with a wallet in his mouth. "Ha? Ha?"

"Is that a wallet?" Phineas asked.

"Why yes. Yes it is. Why? Is that a problem."

"No, no problem. I-It's just...n-never mind." Phineas said as he, Ferb, and Isabella started walking away. "We'll be right back."

"No, no. Take your time. I've got all day!" Doofenshmirtz said with a hint of smug in his voice. "And once I win I will finally garner the respect that I deserve!"

As he was gloating, Hildegard came over looking very angry. "Hey! Your dog snatched my wallet."

"What?" Doofenshmirtz turned around to face her.

"You heard me. What's the big idea?"

"Oh. I-I...uh..." Before Doofenshmirtz could say anything more, Hildegard attempted to yank her wallet from Only Son's jaws, prompting a surprise reaction. "No, no, no! Wait! Don't do that!"

"Like I'm gonna let your schnauzer steal my money!" Hildegard shouted as she yanked the wallet out of Only Son's mouth.

"That's not what I meant. You can't pull anything from its jaws."

"Why? What happens?"

Her question was about to be answered. Both Hildegard and Doofenshmirtz looked down at Only Son, who went from an emotionless, fully-focused award-winning dog to the animal equal to a psychopath. His eyes turned in to the back of his head, he growled loudly as his mouth started foaming. He appeared as though he was ready to strike. "That happens! He turns into a nasty, unforgiving demon. Quick! Run for you-" He turned to notice that Hildegard was already gone. "Well, that was quick."

Before he could say anything further, Only Son proceeded to attack him. Doofenshmirtz let out a ear-splitting scream. The scream was so loud it frightened every other contestant and pet around and forced them into a frenzy. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz was busy trying to get Only Son off of him.

Upon hearing the commotion, Phineas, Ferb, and the entire Fireside Girls troop dropped what they were doing and ran to the scene of the crime. "What the?"

"That dog is attacking that pharmacist!" Isabella shouted.

"Ferb, get the tranquilizers!" Phineas ordered. Ferb immediately left and came back with a tranquilizer gun. He aimed carefully at Only Son. He pulled the trigger and shot a tranquilizer dart at Only Son. The result? Only Son quickly fell into a daze and collapsed onto the ground completely knocked out. Doofenshmirtz was spared any further trauma. "Sir, are you OK?" Phineas asked, helping Doofenshmirtz up.

"No, I am not OK! I was just attacked by my own dog!" Doofenshmirtz shouted out in frustration. He looked around frantically for Hildegard. "Where is that woman? I have a piece of my mind I would like to give her! OK, that tears it. It's time to bring out my back-up plan..." Doofenshmirtz reached into his lab coat and slowly - rather, too slowly - unveiled his

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the lodge, Holly finished her research, and she was surprised with what she found. "No way!" Holly printed out the papers and ran outside with her papers. She found Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella. "Guys!"

"Holly? What's all this?" Isabella asked immediately noticing the papers.

"You guys have got to check out all this stuff I found on that guy's dog!" Holly distributed the papers to each of them. They carefully studied the contents. "Turns out that guy's dog was once an award-winning pet that brought fame and fortune to the country Drusselstein."

"So you're bothered by the fact that an award-winning dog is competing in our pet show?"

"No! You're missing the point. If that dog is the same as the dog that's mentioned here, that would make _that_ dog over there..." She pointed to Only Son. "over 40 years old!"

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella all gasped simultaneously. "No way!"

"But that can't be. I thought only Ferb and I were able to revive the dead."

"Either this guy has been stealing our blueprints or something screwy is going on here." Ferb said. "What do you propose we do?"

"I don't know. I mean using a pet that you revived from the dead isn't exactly ethical. In fact, it's just downright creepy. But it's not against the rules. Now I kinda wish I hadn't talked you out of putting that provision into the rule book, Ferb."

Of course a potential rule infraction was the least of their problems. As they were contemplating what to do, a car drove by and sporadically stopped in the middle of the park, causing everyone to go into a panic. As everyone was running around, two people got out of the new card; it was none other than Doofenshmirtz's own mother and father, and they appeared to be quite furious.

"Who are those guys?" Isabella asked as the parents approached Doofenshmirtz.

"I don't know, but they sure don't look happy."

Doofenshmirtz took note of his parents' appearance, and - completely oblivious to their anger - put on a smug face. "Well, well, well. Look who's here." He said smugly. "My dear old mother and father. So, I guess you've heard that I have brought your dear, old dog Only Son back from the dead just so I could exploit him for my own selfish desires, one of them being one-upping you, father! You will see. I am a far superior pet trainer than you-"

Doofenshmirtz was interrupted when his father began yelling something in German. Although his father was quite fluent in English, he generally yelled in German when he was extremely angry. And he looked angry. "Sie haben die ewige Ruhe der Familienhund gestört. Sie haben Schande über unsere Familie gebracht Namen!"** (Translation: You have disrupted the eternal rest of the family pet. You have brought shame to our family name!)**

"What's he saying?" Doofenshmirtz asked; unlike his father, Doofenshmirtz was only fluid in one language: English. It had been several years since he spoke German full-time. "I don't speak German anymore." It was then that his father promptly slapped him in the face.

"Die Strafe für Unterbrechung der ewigen Ruhe der Familienhund ist Verbannung aus dem Willen!" **(The penalty for disrupting the eternal rest of the family pet is banishment from the will!)**

"Seriously, dude. I can't understand-" Again Doofenshmirtz was interrupted, this time when his father proceeded to punch him in the face. He was knocked right to the ground giving the parents the chance to take Only Son away and drive away with him.

"Sir, are you OK?" Phineas asked as Doofenshmirtz slowly sat up.

"Uh, I feel like a giblet." He said, still dazed. "I didn't even understand a word he said. I-It's been a long time since I've spoken German of any kind."

"He said something about disrupting the "eternal rest" of your dog, and something about bringing shame to your family name. And I believe I heard "You're out of the will." Isabella said, relaying the language perfectly much to Phineas & Ferb's surprise.

"Wow, that was pretty good, Isabella." Phineas complimented. "When did you learn to speak German."

"In my free time. What? I'm not just some damsel in distress who's borderline obsessed with the boy across the street."

"Borderline?"

"Well, this is just great. My plan to ruin the competition for everyone by cheating and rub my new success in my parents' faces is ruined!" Doofenshmirtz complained. "I guess there's nothing left to do but go home and think of a new scheme." Dejectedly, he started trudging into the city heading back to his home.

"The competition! Oh, I almost forgot. We have to declare a winner!" Phineas remembered. So he, Ferb, and Isabella returned to the center of the show with the other Fireside Girls.

* * *

When Doofenshmirtz got home, he unlocked his front door and turned the knob. By doing so, he deactivated the doors that were trapping Perry inside. He groaned and stepped in, only to discover that his place wasn't as he left it. He immediately saw food on the floor around the chair that was sitting in front of the TV. "Perry the Platypus!" He shouted; almost on cue, Perry emerged from the kitchen holding a bag of chips in his hands. Doofenshmirtz gasped rather loudly. "Perry the Platypus, you've been eating all my food?"

He seemed rather upset with his nemesis for doing so despite the fact that he had taken no precautions whatsoever to prevent him from doing so. But that was the least of his concern, as he discovered on the TV that Perry had been watching Pay Per View television. He gasped again. "And you've been watching Pay Per View? You know that costs more than On Demand these days!"

Frustrated, he walked towards his bathroom. "Oh well. At least I can take solace in the fact that you're respectful enough to put the seat down." He walked in the bathroom and shut the door behind him. A second later, he walked back out, looking rather irritated. "Really? Re-Y-You can't even do that for me?" He groaned and lightly slapped his face with his palm. "You know what? I-I don't want to deal with you anymore. You can probably tell that my scheme didn't go off so well. So just get out of here, OK?"

Perry obeyed and started heading for the ledge. He still had the bag of chips in his hands.

"Hey, hey, hey! Leave the chips!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. Perry returned and left the chips at Doofenshmirtz's feet before heading off again. "A-And you could at least clean up after yourself! I'm your nemesis, not your maid!"

* * *

**During The Credits**

_**Later that night...**_

It was time for Isabella to "pay up" to Phineas for the favor he did her earlier. (installing the multi-functional control panel into the new Fireside Girls lodge) Her punishment: a salsa dance with Phineas. But not just any dance. A dance during Danville's "Junior Dance Competition."

Isabella never liked the salsa dance. Even though it was a romantic dance, she was never able to master it. Thus, she grew frustrated and stopped learning it. But Phineas encouraged her to try again (more like he blackmailed her - playfully of course) so they could dance in the competition. So, she buckled down and quickly learned the dance. While their routine wasn't perfect - evidenced by the many times Isabella accidentally stepped on Phineas's feet - they had fun dancing and the crowd enjoyed it as well.

"That was fun, Phineas!" Isabella said as they both walked off the floor.

"See? I told you you could do it." Phineas replied.

"But we're probably not gonna win. I mean I probably stepped on your poor little feet more times than the score we're gonna get."

"Who cares about the score? Or my feet. The important thing is you had fun."

"I did. I'm so glad you talked me into this. Although I hardly think a blackmail-induced salsa dance is an extreme overprice for a multi-functional control panel for our lodge that will protect us when the vending machines eventually take over."

"Hey, you take what you can get. Now let's get out of here."

"You want to leave? But I thought you loved salsa dancing."

"I do love salsa dancing. It's the outfits I can't stand." He responded, noting their current attire. Isabella shared the sentiment.

"Yeah, they definitely do not mesh with us."

"Let's get outta these clothes and go home."

"Sounds good to me." They both laughed as they walked out. They never even bothered to check what scores they got, though they would both probably agree that it was a good decision; they ended up with the worst score of the bunch.

**End of Episode 67b!**

**Hope you liked it. Don't know when the next one will be out. Don't know what the next one will be. Less than a month until my 2nd year of college starts so now I need to get ready. Until next time, America...**


	87. 68a: Short Story

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 68a: ****************************************************************Short Story********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************:********Phineas and Ferb create a magical microphone that intensifies the effects of positive thinking to make anything come true. But it accidentally falls into Dr. Doofenshmirtz's hands and chaos ensues.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

___There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb were in their backyard, working on something brand new. They put the finishing touches on it and marveled at their creation. "Ferb, I might be tooting my own horn, but this is our best invention yet."

As Phineas admired their new creation, their friends all arrived in the backyard. "Hey guys!" Isabella said.

"Hello." Said Baljeet.

"S'up, nerds?" Buford followed.

"I am also here." And also Irving.

"What'cha doin'?"

"Just admiring our greatest creation ever." Phineas announced. "Behold!" He held up what looked like a simple microphone for his friends to behold. Initially, they weren't impressed.

"And what is it exactly we are supposed to be "beholding?" Baljeet skeptically asked.

"Yeah, it's just a microphone." Buford agreed.

"That, my friends, is where you're wrong. This is no ordinary microphone. It's a very special microphone. Allow me to demonstrate." He turned on the microphone and brought it to his mouth. "I'd like a stack of BLT's as tall as our backyard tree."

The microphone started glowing, and before anyone knew it, out of nowhere appeared a stack of BLT's right next to the tree. Everyone let out different forms of admiration.

"That's amazing. How did you do that?" Isabella asked.

"We've created a microphone that can give you anything your heart desires. We've doused it with special pheromones that stimulate the part of your brain that controls the power of positive thinking. In other words, you say it, and it happens."

"Kind of like a genie that grants wishes." Irving implied.

"Hmm, close, but not exactly."

"Are you really insinuating that we can fulfill our greatest desires by simply asking for them?" Baljeet asked, clearly a little upset.

"Yeah. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that it should not be that simple. Your desires should be something you work for, not just wish for."

"Why do you have to be such a buzzkill?" Buford asked, now also upset.

"I am not. I am merely pointing out the ethical flaws in this invention."

"That's the exact definition of "buzzkill." Irving added.

"Oh, just give me that!" Baljeet shouted as he grabbed the mic from Phineas. "I want to be president of the United States!" He shouted angrily into the mic. After a few seconds of nothing happening, Baljeet again looked irritable. "What gives?"

"Sorry, Baljeet. We programmed the microphone to only respond to positive attitudes only. And not for nothing, but you're kind of a debbie-downer right now."

"Also the issue that you were born in India. Therefore you would not be eligible for presidency." Ferb pointed out.

"Ferb, must you ruin my buzz? Please, I am not a believer in pixie dust and stuff."

"Technically this is pheromones. But you don't have to be a believer, necessarily. Just have an open mind. The pheromones affect the part of your brain that controls positive thinking. Have an open mind, and the mic does the rest."

"Let me give it a whirl." Buford said. Baljeet handed the mic over to Buford who promptly demonstrated the proper way to use it. "I'd like a jersey and hat signed by my favorite two-sport athelete...Bo Jackson!"

The others, minus Baljeet, applauded Buford. "That's a good one, Buford. Original and positive. And it comes from deep within you."

"Oh puh-lease, Phineas!" Baljeet retorted. "Are you expecting us to believe that Bo Jackson, the most famous two-sport athlete in this generation, is going to just waltz into the backyard with a signed jersey and hat?"

"Of course not. He's not a dancer." Buford joked back, much to Baljeet's chagrin. But before Baljeet could let out another cynical remark...

"Excuse me..." A deep voice in the background said. The kids turned to the gate and saw a large, muscular black man with a jersey and a hat in his hand. He walked over to them. "Is one of you a..." He took out a piece of paper and tried to read off it. "Buford...Val Storm?"

"It's Van Stomm, and.." Buford immediately recognized his idol and fell into an uber-fan-like trance. "OH MY GOSH IT'S BO JACKSON! D-Do you guys see? You see? I-It's him! It's really him!"

"Yes Buford. We see him." Phineas said, keeping an even-keel.

"Here you go kid." Jackson said handing Buford the jersey and hat. He patted Buford on the head. "Take care now." And then he walked away, leaving Buford in a complete uber-fan like state.

"Oh my gosh! This thing is amazing!" He shouted happily, referring to the microphone. "It can make all our wildest dreams come true. Lookie, nerd!" He turned to Baljeet. "Still think this thing doesn't work? Why else would just out-of-the-blue get a...RGIII jersey and...and a Santa hat?" He looked at the items he received. They weren't quite what he had expected.

"Aha!" Baljeet shouted. "There is your proof right there. If that thing worked the way Phineas & Ferb designed it, then wouldn't you have received a Kansas City Royals jersey and cap from him rather than those two things right there?"

"Who cares? They're still signed by Bo Jackson! This is awesome!" Buford responded; despite both items being different than what he wanted, he was still satisfied with the fact that they were signed by his favorite athlete. Baljeet shook his head.

"Yeah, you kinda have to be really specific with your desires." Phineas relented. "It's like magic."

"And need I point out that there is no such thing as magic?"

"Baljeet, seriously. You're bumming me out. Hey, Isabella, you haven't tried yet." Phineas said, handing the mic to her. But she rejected it.

"That's OK, Phineas. As far as I'm concerned, I already have all my heart's desires fulfilled." She leaned in and kissed him; Phineas blushed.

"_Boys!"_ Called Lawrence from the house. "_I could use your help with something."_

"Sure, Dad! Let's all go help him." The kids all ran off to help him. In the process, they dropped the microphone and accidentally kicked it into the streets. Mid-flight, it slammed into an ongoing truck and traveled well into the city. In the city the truck came to an abrupt stop at a light, causing the mic to continue flying forward. It dove right into a fire hydrant and ricocheted to its left towards a building. Mid-air, it was caught by the feet of a passing bird, who incidentally scaled up the building. But it wasn't just any building. It was the building of Perry's arch nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

The bird ended up dropping the mic on the ledge leading outside. The force of the drop created such a noise that Doofenshmirtz became distracted from inside. He stepped out to see what the commotion is. "What's all the racket out there?" He asked in an annoyed tone before noticing the mic. "Hello. What's this?" He picked it up and observed it. "A microphone? Now what would a microphone be doing on my ledge?" He was completely unaware that the right combination of words spoken into the mic could net him total control over the Tri-State Area. "You know, I really hate it when birds just drop things onto my ledge...especially when it's actual droppings. I just wish that all the birds in the Tri-State Area would stop invading my building all the time!"

The microphone glowed, to which Doofenshmirtz was completely oblivious. He looked up and saw a flock of birds flying towards his building. He groaned loudly, but as they approached they suddenly turned around and flew away, much to his shock. "Huh. That's strange. I never knew birds just could change direction that easily." He then looked at his mic. Pondering a thought, he shook his head. "No, it couldn't be...could it?"

He went inside. He was understandably skeptical of the microphone he was holding. "No, it can't be. This thing couldn't possibly give me the ability to have anything I want just by saying it. It couldn't be that simple. Well I guess there's only one way to find out." He brought the microphone closer to his face. "I want three dozen pizzas from "Pizza Man's Pizza Emporium" for free!"**  
**

Just then a knock came at his door. He walked over to it and opened it. To his shock, the very pizza man he sought to embarrass and humiliate a summer earlier was at his door, carrying 36 boxes of pizza in his hands. "I have 3 dozen pizzas for a...Mr. Doofenshmirtz."

"I-It's _Dr_. Doofenshmirtz. And that's me." He said, happily taking the boxes from the pizza man.

"Funny. I could have sworn I told you not to order from me again."

"Really? I can't recall such a conversation."

"Hmm...well alright. Enjoy." He said as he walked away without even asking Doofenshmirtz for money. The evil genius was left stunned. (**A/N: This was a reference to the episode "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" if you take it out of context)**

"I don't believe it." He said putting the pizza boxes down and observing his mic again. "I just asked for three dozen free pizzas and I got three dozen free pizzas! No way that can be a mere coincidence." He walked away from the pizza boxes. "This thing can get me anything. But can I get me the one thing I want more than anything...and it has just occurred to me that I am talking to nobody."

"_I'm listening._" Norm said from another room.

"I'm ignoring you on purpose."

* * *

Meanwhile, the kids had all helped Lawrence carry an extremely heavy box out towards his car and tie it to the roof. "Well that looks all sturdy and such. Thank you kids. I could not have done it without you."

"No problem, Dad." Phineas responded. "That box was so heavy I don't think we could've done it unless we had all pitched in. Right, guys?" He turned to his friends.

"You know, in retrospect, we could've just wished on the mic that the box was weightless so we wouldn't have had to struggle so much." Isabella pointed out.

"I think you're right, Isabella. By the way, speaking of the mic, who has it?" Phineas looked at all his friends. Each one shrugged their shoulders. "So we left it in the backyard?"

"Probably." Irving responded.

"I'll get it." Buford volunteered as he ran towards the backyard to retrieved it...only to his surprise it was gone. "Hey, it's not here!"

The kids all looked concerned as they waved goodbye to Lawrence and followed Buford into the backyard. They too were shocked to discover that the microphone was missing. "I don't understand." Phineas expressed concern.

"We must've dropped it and it rolled away somewhere." Isabella said. "Who knows who has it?"

"This could spell problems." Ferb added.

"Will you people just relax?" Baljeet retorted. "It is not like any danger can come from something as silly as a microphone."

"That's not true at all Baljeet. In the wrong hands it could lead to a catastrophic apocalypse. All it takes is an open mind. That's something you seem to lack today."

"But who in their right mind would wanna cause harm on the Tri-State Area?" Isabella pondered. While the others joined the thought, they were interrupted by Candace poking her head out one of the kitchen windows.

"I hate to interrupt your little quarrel, but you've gotta see this!" She said to them. The kids ran inside and joined Candace on the living room couch, where a Channel 5 News special report was taking place.

"Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Tom Tucker. We now take you live to City Hall for an important message from our beloved mayor."

The scene cut to the front of City Hall, where Roger & Heinz Doofenshmirtz were standing next to each other. Heinz had an evil grin on his face and was holding a microphone (not the magical one that had been used earlier) to Roger's face, while Roger was holding a bunch of papers in his hands. He too had a grin on his face, but it was more of a forced grin rather than a happy grin.

"Citizens of Danville." He said as his forced smile became more evident with his lips quivering. "It is my great honor today to announce my immediate resignation from office. I am pleased to announce my replacement, effective immediately." He turned to Heinz. "Heinz, my dear brother...would you like to add anything?"

Heinz nodded and then pulled out his own mic. "Hello, citizens of the Tri-State Area! Today begins the dawn of a new era! From this day forward, my word is law! And my first law as new mayor...everyone in the Tri-State Area must wear a lab coat at all times!" The mic glowed and within seconds, Linda came into the room wearing a lab coat.

"Kids, what are you doing?" She said sternly. "Haven't you heard the new laws? Now everyone go get a lab coat and don't let me catch you without one again!" With that, she walked away. She was not speaking freely; she was bound by the chaos Doofenshmirtz had created.

"Uh oh..." Phineas said having figured out what had happened. "It looks like that guy got a hold of our mic. And now he's corrupt with power."

"Is it me or have we been seeing him a lot more lately?" Isabella asked. The others gave it a thought, but it was hardly the biggest issue at hand.

"We have to fix this."

"How? There's only one of those things in the world and that guy has all one of them." Irving pointed out.

"I suppose we could manufacture another one..." Phineas began. "But I'm not sure if there could be any conflict of interest between the two. I think the safer option would be to try and retrieve the original mic and then use it to undo all this before it gets out of hand. But in the meantime, Ferb and I will work to hash out a new mic."

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, Perry was ease dropping on them from behind the couch. Having overheard everything - from their invention to Doofenshmirtz getting his hands on them - he sneaked out of the house and went off to find his nemesis.

In the meantime, Doofenshmirtz was busy writing new laws. His daughter Vanessa was at his side, with a look of neutrality on her face as always. "Isn't this great, Vanessa?" He said as he looked up at her. "I finally have control over the Tri-State Area!"

"That's great, Dad. But you know, just because you have it now doesn't mean you can't lose it. There's still one guy out there that can foil your scheme, you know."

"Don't be silly. Roger already quit. Why would he go back on his word like that? That's just foolish if you ask me." He returned to writing up new laws for a moment. But it was during that moment that he realized who exactly Vanessa was referring to. "Oh, you mean Perry the Platypus, don't you?"

"I'm outta here." Vanessa responded, walking away before she ended up saying something she would likely regret.

"Hey, you know I had to think for a minute. I'm not the smartest guy in the world."

"_Clearly!"_

Doofenshmirtz shook his head and went back to his thoughts. "Although that was quite rude, she is correct. Perry the Platypus has been a thorn in my side for a long time now. He could easily thwart this scheme just like he's thwarted all the others. But not unless I eliminated him first..."

He took out his microphone, which he stored away in one of the drawers. He turned it on and began speaking. "I want a giant destructive robot that is automatically auto-locked to locate my nemesis Perry the Platypus." Within seconds, a giant robot formed from beneath him and began growing rapidly. Soon enough it punctured the roof, with Doofenshmirtz at the head of the controls...inside the head. But while he expected it to start moving, it instead stood still. "Hey! What gives? I asked for a robot that would automatically locate Perry the Platypus!"

_"Perry the Platypus located."_ The robot said through its speech function. It spoke in a British accent, prompting confusion from Doofenshmirtz.

"A-An-And what is this? I don't remember asking for a British-talking guy. In fact I don't remember asking for any talking, period."

"_Perhaps next time you should think to mention that the next time you decide to dabble in Black Magic."_ It responded back in a rather sassy fashion. (**A/N: As for the voice, picture "****Gildart Jackson" the host of ABC's newest series "Whodunnit?")**

"Well, maybe I will, Mr. Fancy-Schmancy...wait a minute! Did you say you found Perry the Platypus?"

"_Your listening skills are absurdly pathetic, sir."_

"Well not as pathetic as your people skills, mist-" He looked up from his control panel for a brief moment to see Perry floating right in front of him on his jet pack. "Oh. Hello, Perry the Platypus. Nice to see you. But it will be even nicer to eliminate you!"

He pressed buttons on his control panel and started firing missiles, laser, and everything he had in his still unknown arsenal. Perry was forced to retreat backwards, but he was able to avoid the first round of firing. Unfortunately, Doofenshmirtz kept firing. Shot after shot, Perry had to dodge each and every one of the shots. At first it was fairly simple to dodge them all. But as he grew fatigued, it became more and more difficult for him to dodge.

Little did he know was that he was actually flying towards Phineas & Ferb's house. They along with their friends were in the backyard as they tried to rustle up another microphone. Incidentally, none of them were wearing lab coats as Doofenshmirtz had earlier demanded.

"We're almost done." Phineas said. "But who knows if this thing will have any interference with the other mic."

"Pardon my skepticism, which has appeared to be the theme all day, but would that not be a good thing? Would interference on the other device causing it not to function properly benefit us?"

"Not if it also cancels out the effects of this mic. It works both ways, Baljeet. It's not like I can just say "I want the other magical microphone to stop working but not have interference affect this one." Before Baljeet could say anything, Phineas quickly added, "And yes, I _am_ aware of the irony surrounding that statement."

"Then it appears all we can do is turn this thing on and hope for the best." Ferb said.

"Technically, that's not all we can do." Buford said. "We could all move to Antarctica and start a fishing business."

"I'm not living in Antarctica." Irving protested. "The days last, like, 30 minutes over there."

"Really? _That's_ your problem with Antarctica."

"Guys, focus! You can plan your winter vacations later. Right now we have a situation."

"Phineas, are you referring to the crazy pharmacist who's taken control of the Tri-State Area, or the giant robot coming towards us?" Isabella pointed out the robot. The kids all turned around and noticed the robot coming towards them. Immediately they started screaming loudly. What they also saw was their beloved platypus Perry - still in secret agent form - flying towards them.

"Hey, is that Perry I see?" Ferb asked, prompting Phineas to try and deny it (Remember, he had been the only one to know of his secret identity up to this point)

"What?" He laughed. "No, that's ridiculous. That couldn't possibly be..." He tried vigorously to deny it. But Perry landed beside them and appeared to be exhausted. At that point denial was futile. "Oh...hey...hey Perry." He said in an effort to act as though he had not been aware of it before even though he had known all this time. Perry pointed to the giant robot. "Yeah, we all see the robot."

Before anything else could happen, Doofenshmirtz fired a laser at the kids, knocking them all on their backs. The force of the blast was so strong it knocked the new microphone out of Phineas's hands and towards Baljeet. As he regained consciousness, he noticed the mic by his legs. He picked it up and started standing up. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz kept pouncing towards him.

"Baljeet!" Phineas shouted. "You have to use the mic to end all of this!"

"But I am not nearly as open-minded as you are!" He fought back.

"You have to! It's the only chance we have!"

Baljeet was hesitant. All day long he had been skeptical about the effectiveness of the device. All day long he had dismissed it and was quite negative of it. But now, he and his friends were stuck. Either Baljeet acted now and tried to stop the mad genius, or he lay back and hang on his skepticism and cost him, his friends, and even the Tri-State Area their freedom.

So he grabbed the mic and stood up. Facing Doofenshmirtz with a death stare, he took a deep breath and prepared his message, with the fate of the Tri-State Area, and possibly the world, hanging in the balance...

* * *

_"So, with one final breath, Baljeet blurted out his heart's desires: to have both magical microphones destroyed and everything returned to the way it was before the day started. So as he commanded, so was done. Both mics were disintegrated, the crazy pharmacist vanished, our mayor Roger was returned to his rightful position, and balance was restored to the Tri-State Area. And best of all, nobody remembered that the platypus was actually an undercover agent. Yes, everything was finally back to normal. The End."_

Phineas put his papers down and looked out to the audience, where everyone in attends gave him a standing ovation. He looked around and had his friends embracing him. It turned out that all the events that had just transpired were not actually real. No, instead they were told as part of a short story contest he & his friends had entered. And of course all their parents were in attendance as well.

The host of the contest (Gildart Jackson, whom I had used earlier in the episode) walked onto stage. "Splendid job, children. Splendid job. What an original concoction! A pharmacist for a villain..."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was also in attendance, and he was not amused by this crack.

"An anthropomorphic platypus for an undercover agent, and a device that fulfills your desires with such ease. It's brilliant, yet no one would believe it on the streets. How ever did you come up with this, young man?"

"Well, it wasn't just me. I had the help of my amazing friends here." Phineas said, looking at each of his friends as he spoke before receiving a well-deserved kiss from Isabella.

"I think it's more than obvious who wins first prize here. Let me go get your prize." He walked off slowly, leaving the kids on the stage alone. The audience continued applauding; Phineas looked offstage and saw his pet platypus standing there. Perry gave him a thumbs-up and Phineas returned it instantly.

**End of Episode 68a!**

**A little note. I got the inspiration for this episode after watching the Austin & Ally episode entitled "Freaky Friends & Fan Fiction" so before you go knocking and say I completely ripped off that episode, I didn't. But I still hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Anyway, I got a part-time job for the rest of the summer so that, combined with the fact that I start my 2nd year of college in 3 weeks, means that you should expect updates at this point to be few & far between. But look on the bright side..."Mission Marvel" airs this Friday on Disney Channel! And the next year plus looks to be even better than the show has ever been before!**


	88. 68b: Birthday Blues

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 68b: ************************************************************Birthday Blues********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************:********Phineas wants to make Isabella's birthday the best ever. But all Isabella wants is to be with her friends, including Phineas, and her boyfriend pulling an all-nighter to throw the party doesn't help the cause. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz creates a "Balding-inator" to shave the heads of everyone in the Tri-State Area leaving him with the best head of hair by default.**

**A/N: I originally had an "Isabella's birthday" idea I wanted to write. But then the episode came out and I scrapped it. Then I thought, "Hey I wrote one for Phineas before the episode came out. What's the difference now?" So here you go guys. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

_There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined through her bedroom window and onto her eyes, leaving Isabella forced to awaken from the light. She sat up and yawned, and she was met with a happy bark from her dog, Pinky. She giggled. "Good morning, Pinky." She petted him before getting out of bed. "Boy, Pinky. This is going to be the best day ever! It's my birthday and I just have a hunch my wonderful, beautiful boyfriend Phineas has something special planned."

She grabbed her clothes and started getting dressed. "Even if it totally flops - like most of his romantic plans have - just the fact that he'd put so much effort and time into it to make me happy makes it so special, and there is no amount of affection that I could give him that could ever justify what he does for me."

Once she was dressed, she opened her bedroom door. When she started for the staircase, she was taken by surprise to see all of her friends and her mother standing at the bottom. Each one of them was holding a wrapped gift. There were streamers and balloons everywhere.

"Happy birthday, Isabella!" Everyone shouted in unison. Isabella giggled.

"You guys!" She walked slowly down the stairs and gave each of her friends and her mother a big hug. Of course, she saved the biggest hug for Phineas, who appeared to be on the tired side.

"Happy birthday." He said to her. "I hope you're ready for the biggest, baddest, most epic party of your life!"

"When it comes to you guys, I'm always ready. But you know you didn't have to..."

"Just wait until you see the party. Besides, for you, it's always worth it."

"Aw...!"

"I'm serious. It's gonna be the greatest day of your life! We would've brought Perry along, but we haven't seen him all morning."

As it turned out, Perry was in the restroom. He flushed himself down the toilet and traveled through the sewage system in order to find the entrance to his lair. Once he did, he was forced to be washed off before he could set foot near his monitor.

"Good morning, Agent P. We've received intel that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is dabbling in the world of hair care. He's bought out all the hair spray and hair gel in the Tri-State Area. That can only spell bad news considering he doesn't need so much of that stuff. I mean, have you seen the dude's hair? He doesn't have a lot of it to go around. Just sayin'. Anyway, go and stop it."

Perry saluted and went off.

Back in the house, the party was off and running. The first item on the menu for the day was a big birthday breakfast. It consisted of all of Isabella's favorites foods. "Wow. I have never seen so much food in one sitting."

"It's your very own birthday breakfast!" Phineas announced. "We hope you like it."

"Did you all pitch in to make this food?"

"Well, actually..." Her mother began. "It was all Ph-"

"Uh, yep! Yes, ma'am. We all pitched in to cook this breakfast for you. Hope you like it." Phineas said quickly, interrupting Vivian. The truth was that Phineas had done basically everything to set up the party. Even though Vivian did help, he took care of most of the big jobs. Still, he did not want to take the credit for it. Rather, he thought sharing it with everyone else was the right way to go. Isabella, naturally, was suspicious.

"You know, Phineas, when I look at you, I see a little red in your eyes. Are you alright?"

"Of course I'm fine. Now hurry up and eat your breakfast. We don't wanna waste too much time. We've got so much planned for the day." He said quickly, trying to defuse the tension. Isabella shrugged and returned to her meal, but she remained skeptical of her boyfriend's behavior. Vivian also remained suspicious as she was well aware that Phineas had taken care of most of the party's hard work. Still, she was surprised to see him refuse credit for it.

Once Isabella was finished, Phineas took her dish and cleaned it by the sink. Then he returned to give her a kiss. "Are you ready for some fun?"

"Sure."

"Then come on outside with us. We've got so much set up for you." He took her hand and helped her out of her seat. Then those two and everyone else in the house went outside to the backyard and saw that the entire backyard - including her pool - had been transformed into a birthday wonderland. Streamers, falling confetti, party games such as hitting a pinata, a dance-dance revolution game, plus others.

"Whoa..." Never once to mince words, Isabella was speechless. "This is...I don't...H-How did you manage to pull this off without me knowing? This must've taken hours."

"With teamwork and perseverance. That's how." Phineas responded, once again sharing the credit with everyone even though it was mostly his work.

"Um, actually Isabella..." Adyson began, hoping to give Phineas the credit he rightfully deserved. "It wasn't really-"

"A-And that's not even the best part." Phineas interrupted again. "We've got some more surprises later on in the day for you and I'm sure they're gonna blow you away."

"Uh-huh. That's...that's great." Again, she was left suspicious. She always knew Phineas was one to always share the credit. He never liked hogging it all for himself, which was a pet peeve that always humbled yet irritated Ferb.

"They won't be here for awhile. So why don't you just enjoy what you have now and we'll let you know when it gets here."

"Whatever you say, Phineas. Whatever you say." Internally, Isabella knew better. She believed that the party was mostly Phineas's doing and that he had likely spent part of the night working on it. But she was flattered that he would go through so much trouble, and he wasn't showing any signs of a meltdown. So she promised herself that she would go along with it for the time being but then call out his bluff if he started melting.

* * *

Meanwhile, Perry arrived at Doofenshmirtz's evil lair. When he broke the door down, he looked up at the ceiling and saw a bunch of razors and scissors hanging from wires attached to the ceiling. Before he could react again, the razors & scissors surrounded Perry and cut off nearly all of his fur - only a few blotchy spots of fur remained. When they were finished, the cutting utensils wrapped around Perry's body & coiled him up tightly.

"Perry the Platypus..." Doofenshmirtz said walking into the room. He let out a sarcastic gasp upon seeing his nemesis almost completely shaven. "Oh my! Look what happened to you? You're all shaven and...and...blotchy. Huh, that's strange. You were supposed to be completely bald. What could have happened? Oh well. Anyway, time for my newest scheme."

"You've noticed my set of traps today, haven't you? A bunch of razors and scissors...well it's all part of my latest plan. All my life I have been cursed with the most unfashionable hair in my home country. Day after day I was mocked by my fellow peers. And the funny thing about it all was haircuts in Drusselstein cost, like, 25 American cents. Yet every time I begged my parents for a haircut, they always responded "We don't have money to spend on something as frivolous as a haircut! Now shut up and go be the lawn gnome!" or something along those lines. But that's not even the worst of it!"

"No, the worst of it is that every two weeks they would always take _Roger_ out for a haircut. It was almost as if they were mocking me. In fact, Roger was even voted as having the "best hair" in all of Drusselstein! Ever since then I've vowed to get my revenge! And now I finally have the chance!"

Doofenshmirtz walked to the middle of the room, revealing a giant satellite dish hooked up to a small laptop. "Behold, Perry the Platypus! I give you...the Balding-inator! Once I spring this bad boy into action, I'll be able to find the hippest and baddest hairdo's in the Tri-State Area and completely mess them up on the spot! The Tri-State Area will be thrown into such an aura of chaos that I will have the best hair of everyone by default! Then I'll be able to just waltz in and take over...somehow. I-I haven't worked out all the details yet, but I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Now I just need to test it out on somebody with really cool hair." He entered commands into the laptop. The connected satellite began searching the Tri-State Area. The first victim came up as a random man on the street with an unusually large Afro. "R-Really? An Afro? That's my first head of hair? Oh well. Beggers can't be choosers I suppose."

He entered some more commands. The satellite began to glow before firing a blast. The blast was heat-seeking, so it was already set for the man with the unusually large Afro. Once it connected, it caused the majority of the man's hair to fall out, leaving an unsightly mess. Once the man realized what had happened to his hair, he started screaming like a lunatic and running around without any sense of direction. He ended up crashing through a glass store window.

"Huh. I was expecting a response less...dramatic. But whatever, it's his hair." Doofenshmirtz turned back to Perry. "So now you see what this thing can really do. When I unleash it on the entire Tri-State Area, I will have by far the best hair by default...even better than my own brother Roger! Then he will be in no position to be mayor and will be forced to turn his position over to me!"

He started to type even more commands into his laptop with the intent to launch one giant blast that would hit everyone at once. Before he could press the final command and activate the satellite, he stopped and thought long and hard. "Wait a moment! If I do this, it's going to affect everybody...including my dear daughter Vanessa & my ex-wife Charlene. Could I really risk their self-esteem - and more importantly their trust - by destroying their beautiful heads of hair...? Of course I can! I'm evil!"

He entered the final command and pressed the "Enter" button. The satellite slowly began powering up. "It'll take a few minutes to warm up. But once it does, you can say goodbye to fancy hairdos and hello to chaos in the Tri-State Area!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Isabella's party was only beginning to hit its stride. Party games were being played, presents were being delivered, and the entertainment was being endlessly booed by Buford. There were even a few tomatoes being thrown in every direction.

Off to the side, Phineas was just trying to stay awake, consuming large quantities of sugary beverages to ensure such. He was noticeably fatigued, with disheveled hair, dark rings under his bloodshot eyes, and a much more noticeable slouch compared to his normal slouch.

He was confronted by his brother Ferb, who took notice of his brother's fatigue. "Alright, spill." He said, which instantly shocked his brother awake.

"What? W-What're you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, dear brother. I know you better than you know yourself." Ferb answered sternly. Phineas sighed and shook his head.

"Alright, I spill. Yesterday, I told Isabella to go home and get a good night's sleep. I didn't want her over at our house when I went over to hers to set up the party because I thought she'd get suspicious."

"How long have you been up?"

"Since midnight. But when I was finished I took a quick catnap. Then I called everyone at about 6 this morning and asked them to come over so we could get the party started extra early."

"You know I would have offered my services-"

"Yeah, I know Ferb. But...I really wanted to do it myself. I wanted to do something really, _really_ nice for her for once. I thought maybe throwing her this birthday party would do it." What Phineas didn't know was that Isabella had been standing behind him for some time having overheard some of his conversation. "I know you guys keep telling me that I need to stop going so far overboard when I do nice things for you. And you're right. B-But it's hard for me to just say "Stop," you know?"

"I just can't seem to get over the hump. It's like I wanna do nice things for you guys all the time, and I don't want any of you to tell me otherwise...even if it does throw me off my sleep cycle. I just hope Isabella likes it."

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Isabella piped up from behind him.

"You know what? I think I will Isabella." He responded without even realizing that he was talking to Isabella. Once he did, his eyes popped open and he turned to face her. "ISABELLA?"

"Hi, Phineas." She said sweetly as she leaned in to kiss him.

"H-H-How much did you hear?"

"I heard enough." She kissed him again. "Thank you so much for this amazing party."

"You really like it?"

"I love it. But not because it's the best birthday party ever. I love it because it was done by you. Did you really do it all by yourself?"

"Yes. Yes I did." He conceded. "I wanted it to be my present to you. I just wanted one thing I did for you to go right."

"Aww...that's so sweet! Except for the fact that you look like you're about to collapse."

"I know. But it's your party and I'm not going to let my fatigue ruin it." He responded with a loud and long yawn. The boy was so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open. But the last thing he wanted was to draw unnecessary attention to himself when it was Isabella's day. Even though Isabella took this into account, she still felt bad that Phineas went to such lengths to make her party special and wanted to show him her appreciation.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz's -inator was about full-charged. As Doofenshmirtz awaited the final seconds, Perry began methodically plotting his escape. He started squirming around, and with one swift motion he tossed his fedora into the air. All of his tools came flying out and hit the floor hard. The resulting noise was enough to draw Doofenshmirtz's attention. But Perry acted fast; he grabbed with his bill the knife that descended towards him. Then he jerked he head back and then flung the knife towards a group of wires that were keeping him tied up.

The wires were severed, and as a result, the wires as well as the instruments connected to them fell to the ground, thus releasing Perry. "Perry the Platypus, you've escaped!" He said before being politely pummeled by Perry. During the course of the "fight" Doofenshmirtz accidentally knocked into his -inator. The blunt force resulted in its malfunction.

Once it was finally ready to fire, instead of firing one large blast, it exploded into thousands of pieces. As a result of this explosion, Doofenshmirtz was left completely bald, and - in an even more confusing twist - Perry was award all of Doofenshmirtz's hair all over his body. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly enough to cover up all the bald spots. When Doofenshmirtz got a good look at Perry, all he could do was laugh.

"Perry the Platypus! Y-You look so silly and out of place!" He said as he cackled loudly. "Oh...boy, t-that...that doesn't make up for you foiling my plans, but boy you have made my day!" He continued laughing as Perry, who was clearly not amused, got up and left. Still laughing, Doofenshmirtz said, "C-Curse you, Perry the Pla-" But he was so deep in amusement he couldn't bring himself to finish.

As he continued laughing, his daughter Vanessa walked in and laid eyes on her bald father. She found it to be so funny she herself burst into laughing as well. Doofenshmirtz was none the wiser, and merely assumed she was laughing over what happened with Perry. "I-I know, right? It's too funny!" But Vanessa was unable to respond to him. Instead, the two of them spent the next several minutes merely laughing for no reason.

* * *

Back at the party, it was time for cake. After that would be the opening of Isabella's presents. By now, Phineas could barely stay awake. He had his head down and was drooling on the table. Isabella could not stand to see him so tired. But Phineas wanted to celebrate her birthday with her. The cake that had arrived was a giant red velvet cake - Isabella's favorite kind. Isabella was nothing short of dumbstruck to see that Phineas had managed to pull that off. But it was another reminder to her of what he had gone through to throw it.

As the cake was being cut up and divided among the guests, Isabella couldn't help but feel a little guilty. She was flattered that Phineas had gone through all the trouble just to throw her a great birthday party. But to see him practically asleep at the table beside her was very uncomfortable (even though she found him much more attractive when he's asleep than when he's awake)

Eventually, she decided that enough was enough. So, she stood up slowly and gathered everybody's attention. "Hey guys? Listen, this is all so wonderful. The party games, the presents, the entertainment...it's been great."

"Don't thank us." Adyson spoke up again. This time, with Phineas practically knocked out, there was no chance for him to interrupt her. "This was all Phineas's idea. He did the majority of the work. We just brought over the presents and set up last minute decorations."

"I know, Adyson. And I'm grateful. I'm extraordinarily grateful that you guys would come out and celebrate my birthday like this, and I'm extraordinarily grateful that my wonderful boyfriend would go to such lengths to celebrate it."

Poor Phineas was too tired to lift his head up and acknowledge her.

"Guys, you all enjoy the rest of the party. You enjoy the cake."

"What are you going to do?"

Isabella giggled and walked over to Phineas, who was barely able to lift his head up. He noticed her coming towards him and gave a weak smile as she picked him up and carried her in her arms and walked back into the house and towards her room. There, she made him change into fresh, clean pajamas. She had splashed his face with water, so he was slightly more awake than normal.

"Isabella, why aren't you downstairs enjoying your birthday?" Phineas asked. "The party's down there."

"Phineas, I _did_ enjoy my birthday. It was wonderful. Now I wanna enjoy you."

"What do you mean?"

"You look absolutely exhausted. You were up most of last night putting together this fantastic birthday party. Why?"

"Because I got this great idea for a party in the middle of the night and I didn't want it to go away. So I stayed up and got it all ready for you."

"But you didn't have to."

"But you said you loved it."

"I did, but...ugh!" She groaned as she tucked him into her bed and stroked his hair. "Phineas, I love spending time with you. No matter what or where. You didn't have to throw me this big birthday party to show me you love me. It's like I wanted last year to. (Remember this takes place the summer after the one the series takes place in) I just want time with you."

"I know that. I'm just sorry I didn't get to buy you a birthday present."

"Actually, Phineas, the fact that I'm about to go to sleep right next to the man of my dreams is the perfect birthday present that I can think of." Isabella responded, kissing him again.

"But you sleep next to me every night."

"I know!" She giggled again, which made Phineas laugh this time. "And every time is more special than the last."

"Even though my snoring will probably deafen you and you'll probably end up staring at my butt anyway?"

"Just your same old, same old I guess."

Phineas couldn't help but blush. He had listened to her rave on and on about him in the past, but he never got tired of hearing all the compliments she had to give to him, even if some of them were about his rear end. "Well, goodnight, Isabella."

They leaned in and gave each other one more kiss as Isabella reached out to hug him tightly. But her hug was so comfortable and snug that it actually put Phineas to sleep, as evidenced by his extraordinarily loud snoring, which was louder than it had ever been before. "Goodnight, my sweet prince." She whispered, stroking his hair back and even scratching his temples. She took out her cellphone and snapped a few pictures of his snoring face, which included a drool puddle that had formed within the first few minutes.

Giggling, she put the camera away. Then she wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his waist; she grabbed his butt with that hand and started squeezing repeatedly. Subconsciously, Phineas was loving the physical attention, and it helped him fall into a very deep sleep. His butt was very uptight today with the work he had put in the past several hours, but the grasp of Isabella's hand squeezing his butt cheek was enough to relax him. The roaring sound of his snoring and the feel of his rear end in her hand enchanted Isabella, and thus she calmly closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Outside the door, Candace & Ferb had overheard their conversation, and they were currently listening to Phineas's thunderous snoring. Candace couldn't help but chuckle and shake her head. "Seriously, how do you guys sleep through this?" Candace asked Ferb, referring to the snoring. "I have to wear earplugs every night just to block it out, yet Isabella seems to invite it."

"The heart wants what the heart wants," Ferb responded. "And sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." (That quote is from H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)

"Don't you ever get tired of those philosophical quotes?"

Ferb responded with a shrug. The two shared a laugh as they returned to the party, leaving Phineas & Isabella the time to themselves that they wanted. Isabella was officially ready to call her birthday a success; even though it didn't turn out quite the way she thought it would, she got to spend time with all of her friends, and it gave her even more reason to love and adore Phineas more than she already did...and to her, he was already like a god.

As Candace & Ferb were returning to the party, Perry stepped in and made his signature noise, drawing their attention. "Oh, there you are, Perry." Ferb said as he picked his platypus pet up. "Come. I believe there's still some red velvet cake left."

**End of Episode 68b!**

**There you have it. Not my best episode ever, but I've wanted to write this for a while and I'm quite proud of how it turned out. Also, DID YOU ALL SEE MISSION MARVEL ON FRIDAY! Boy, what an episode. Easily the greatest in the show's history and one of the best television events of all time. Now here's to the next PnF TV event, whenever it airs.**


	89. 69: Radio Rebels

**Phineas and Ferb**

**The New Adventures of Phineas and Ferb**

**Episode 69: Radio Rebels********************************************************  
**

**Episode Summary********************************************:************ In an effort to help the Fireside Girls earn their "Radio Personality" patches, Phineas & Ferb start their own radio station. But their efforts to help their friends interfere with Dr. Doofenshmirtz's plan to put the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. radio station on the map and spread their message of evil. Plus, Candace becomes addicted to the advice given by a snarky radio personality host on how to handle her love life, especially after she receives a disturbing phone call from an old flame. Plus, Isabella and Phineas reevaluate their own relationship.**

**Disclaimer: _Phineas and Ferb_ does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses _Dan Povenmire _and _Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. _Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

_There's just so many days of adolescence vacation  
'Til adulthood and old age come to end it,  
So the problem for children of this generation,  
Is finding a good way to spend it  
Like maybe..._

_Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy,  
Or climbing up the Eiffel tower,  
Discovering something that doesn't exist,  
Or giving a monkey a shower  
Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots,  
Or locating Frankenstein's brain,  
Finding a Dodo bird, painting a continent,  
Or driving the adults insane_

_This could possibly be the best day ever,  
And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be  
a million and six times better,  
So make every minute count  
jump up, jump in and seize the day,  
And let's make sure that in every single possible way,  
Today is Gonna Be a Great Day!_

* * *

The sun shined down; it was another glorious day in the Tri-State Area. Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were having breakfast at the table, with Linda at the stove. There was a knock at the back door; Linda answered it. It was Stacy on the other side. "Morning, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher. Is Candace up yet?"

"I think she is, Stacy. She'll be down in a moment, but would you like to join us for breakfast?" She offered.

"Actually Candace and I were gonna go out and get breakfast together. We haven't spent a lot of time together lately and we thought we could, you know, reconnect or something."

"Oh, that is so nice. Well I'm sure she's just dying to get going with. I'll call her down and see-"

But before Linda even had a chance to finish her statement, she was interrupted by the sounds of loud screaming. Screaming that was loud enough to shake the entire building and disrupt the kids' eating. The screams sounded exactly like how Candace used to scream back in her "busting days." They were so loud they could make anyone's eardrums bleed. (Isabella playfully compared it to Phineas's nighttime snoring, which did not amuse him at all)

Candace, still in her pajamas, came bolting down the stairs and into the kitchen with her cellphone in hand. "STACY!" She shouted, grabbing her friend and shaking her by the shoulders. "Stacy! We have a code red! Code red, I say!"

"Candace...Candace, calm down." Stacy said, pulling away from Candace's death grip and grabbing her by the shoulders to relax her. "Deep breaths, girl. Deep breaths." Candace's breathing began to slow down as she regained her composure. "That's right. Good girl. Good girl. All good?" Candace nodded. "Great. Now what's the problem?"

"Listen for yourself." Candace held out her smartphone, which was set to a voicemail, and pressed the Playback button. It was a message from her old boyfriend Jeremy, who was currently touring the world with his band. (as was established in my side-fic "Worldwide")

"_Hey Candace. It's Jeremy. I know we haven't spoken since I went on tour. Sorry about that, I've been...I've been pretty busy, you know, playing and stuff. But anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my band's making a stop in Danville for a few days. I-I don't know when exactly we'll be there, but I'll come visit as soon as we get there. Hope you're enjoying your summer vacation and...and I hope you miss me as much as I miss you. Anyway, Jeremy out!"_

Candace ended the call and looked at Stacy. "Did you hear that, Stacy? Jeremy's coming to visit!"

"OK...and this is a problem, because...?"

"_Because_ I have a few dates with Kurt over the next week. I don't want to accidentally run into him while I'm on a date."

"But I thought he knew about you guys."

"He does, but come on. Wouldn't it be a little weird if you were on a date with some guy and Coltrane walked in and saw you?"

"Candace, that thing with Coltrane was a one-off thing. We weren't really dating." Stacy responded.

"Really? I thought you guys hit it off really well."

"We did...but we really didn't have anything in common. It just didn't work out. We still talk over the phone, but it's nothing serious. So, anyway, what are you going to do about Jeremy?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "I admit I still have feelings for Jeremy. H-He was amazing. He never had a problem with my busting obsession and he always made me feel great. But...but with Kurt, I don't feel like I need to exert so much energy and effort in order to be happy. I feel like I can be myself. With Jeremy, I never really felt that way."

"You realize that most of your stress was self-inflicted, right?"

"Stacy, this is no time for nitpicking. I'm having a boy crisis. And you know what that means?"

A brief moment of silence passed before Stacy spoke up. "No I don't, actually."

"Oh. Well, I'll tell you what it means." Candace ran out of the room momentarily, and then she returned with a small radio. "It means it's time to get some advice from the only person who can possibly understand me."

"What the...oh no, don't tell me girl!"

"Yep. It's time for..." She turned the radio on and set it to a specific station. "The _Rodrick Grant Show!_ Home for all of your relationship needs."

"OMG, this is _NOT_ happening." Stacy said. The show came on for everyone to listen to. (**A/N: For the voice, picture Colin Cowherd, voice of the ESPN Radio Show "The Herd with Colin Cowherd." Not a huge fan of his show but I thought his voice would fit perfectly for this character)**

"_You know I often get asked a bunch of questions from guys about how to handle their women. Now everybody has their own opinion, and my job is not to tell you that your way of thinking is wrong. My job is merely to give you my opinions in the hopes that you'll agree. Now, when it comes to women, men should be the ones in control. They should be the superior partners in a relationship. The majority of today's workforce is made up of men. Men are the ones bringing in the money. They should have the control."_

"Candace, don't tell me you actually believe this dreck." Stacy said to her.

"What? He's a guy. He thinks like a guy. He knows how relationships run."

"I'm with Stacy on this one." Phineas responded to everyone's surprise. "Relationships shouldn't be one-sided. Just because someone brings in the money doesn't mean that they have the right to control every aspect of the relationship. What fun would that be?"

"Yeah, and besides, relationships should be built upon love and trust," Isabella added. "Not money. Of course it doesn't hurt to have the most adorable little tushie in the world..." As her voice trailed off, her gaze ran down Phineas's body and stopped at his rear end, which caused him to blush. Stacy appeared confused, but was called off by Candace when she attempted to question it.

"You know, Isabella, I don't think you're one to talk given that your relationship with Phineas is so one-sided." Candace remarked, causing tension between Isabella and Phineas, moreso with the latter.

"The point, sis, is that you shouldn't always trust the word of a snarky radio personality in lieu of an actual relationship expert. Especially one that's totally sexist." Phineas responded, getting nodding approval from his girlfriend & stepbrother. "Although...that idea doesn't sound too bad..."

"What idea?"

"Starting our own radio station! Hey, Isabella, didn't you say you guys still needed a "Radio Personality" patch?"

"Yes, yes I did."

"Then it's settled. We're gonna open up our very own radio station! We'll have music, live talk shows, and...hey, where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was underneath the home, digging a tunnel towards his lair. Suddenly, his watch beeped. "_Good morning, Agent P. No need to stop by the lair today. We want you to get right on your mission today. Our intel has informed us that Doofenshmirtz, member of the evil organization L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., is plotting to boost his appeal and spread his message of evil through radio airwaves by means of the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. radio station. OK, seriously, did anybody here know that they even had a radio station?"_

_"It's not very popular, sir." _Carl said off-screen. "_But they do play some nice jazz music in the morning hours."_

_"Jazz music? Doesn't seem very evil to me."_ Monogram commented.

_"I know. It's sending quite a mixed message."_

_"Anywho, we need you to investigate. We cannot allow their message to be spread. Good luck."_

Perry saluted and shut off his watch. It was then that he looked back at the tunnel he had dug up. He groaned loudly, realizing that he would now have to retrace his steps and go back the way he came. In actuality, he could have simply started a new tunnel that led towards the surface, but Perry did not think of that before he started making his way back.

Once he finally arrived back at the surface, he took out a tiny staff that, when tossed into the air, transformed into his glider. He hopped aboard and set sail for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

Along the way, he decided to do some pre-thwarting research. Rummaging through his fedora while he glided through the sky, he pulled out a tiny portable radio, and he turned it on to the station that L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. broadcast from. Like Carl said, the station was currently playing some smooth jazz music. It was calming...almost the complete opposite of what L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N's purpose was.

It got Perry thinking. He initially suspected that the jazz music was merely a diversion designed to hypnotize the listeners into obsessing over their station. But then he rationalized that they were all borderline incompetent and therefore unable to come up with such a brilliant scheme. In any case, his first stop was at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.

When he arrived, though, Doofenshmirtz was not there. In fact, Norm was the only one there at the time. "Good morning, Perry the Platypus." Norm said. "I'm sorry. If you're looking for father, he's not here at the moment. He's busy operating the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. radio station, so he asked me to take over for him and trap you here. So I will do that right now."

Norm pulled out a remote and pressed a button on it. A cage was supposed to drop from the ceiling and trap Perry. But the cage never fell. Confused, Norm continually pressed the button on the remote, hoping to make something happen. Instead, the continued presses caused the remote to short-circuit. When the remote short-circuited, it fell apart, and when it fell apart, the cage fell from the ceiling. But instead of trapping Perry, it also fell apart before hitting the ground.

"Well that is a letdown." Norm responded. "So it looks like I won't be trapping you today. Instead, I'll simply give you the coordinates to my boss's whereabouts." Norm's body began shaking around, and before long a piece of paper came out of his mouth, dictating Doofenshmirtz's exact location. "You should give it a listen. He has his very own show at noon."

Perry tipped his cap in gratitude to Norm - albeit awkwardly - and studied the coordinates carefully before exiting the lair and heading towards the place. It turns out that the location of the building where L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. broadcasts their radio signal was on the outskirts of town and that it all happened in a rundown, broken, and otherwise-abandoned building.

* * *

Meanwhile, in said building, Doofenshmirtz, along with the rest of the group, were preparing to begin their broadcast schedule. Doofenshmirtz was especially excited for his turn, although nobody else around him shared his enthusiasm.

"This is going to be my best show ever!" Doofenshmirtz said rather loudly to himself. "I cannot stand the thought of waiting this long to go on."

"Give it up already, dear Heinz." His rival, Rodney, said behind him. "Everyone here knows that _you_ have the worst radio show of the organization. You are simply meant to be seen, not heard."

"Go jump off a bridge, Rodney! Like your show is any better!" Doofenshmirtz responded. "All you do is belittle your audience. Y-You talk down on them like they're not as intelligent as you are."

"That's because they're _not_ as intelligent as I." Rodney responded. "But that's not their doing. I am merely far advanced over all of my listeners."

"But all you do is talk down on them. Literally! Your entire show is centered around you mocking your audience."

"It's still better than the trash that you have the nerve to air on your show, Heinz."

"You wanna talk trash? You should listen to Dr. Bloodpudding's show. It's nothing _but_ trash. Literally!"

"Whatever you say, Heinz. The point is that I have and always will have the best radio show in L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N."

"Ha! Don't make me laugh!" Dr. Dimunitive said from on the ground; his short stature made it so neither of them noticed him until he had spoken up. "You two call yourselves radio hosts?" He turned to Doofenshmirtz. "You possess no ability to assert yourself while you speak," Then he turned to Rodney. "And _you_ have no ability to connect with your audience. It's no wonder you two have the lowest-rated shows in the organization!"

"What?"

"You mean you didn't know?" He said sarcastically. "Don't tell me you've been blatantly ignoring the weekly ratings in order to continue feeding your self-served delusion that your radio shows are actually serving the public any good."

Doofenshmirtz took a brief pause. "Well, when you say it like that it sounds like a bad thing." Doofenshmirtz and Rodney were handed papers by Diminutive, which entailed the radio station's ratings from the week before. As it turned out, Rodney and Doofenshmirtz were both at the bottom to their incredible shock. "What the-?"

"I told you. You two have the worst shows among us."

"This must be a mistake." Rodney retorted back. "These cannot possibily be right."

"Actually, I'm surprised they're as high as they are given that you two lack the talent or speaking abilities meant for radio. If I were you two, I'd either renovate your shows completely or get off the airwaves!" With that, Diminutive walked away proudly, leaving a befuddled Doofenshmirtz & Rodney.

"This simply will not do!" Rodney shouted loudly. "I pride myself in being better than everyone around me."

"I know. This is a disaster!" Doofenshmirtz agreed. "And what's worse is Dr. Bloodpudding has the highest rated show! He talks about nothing but garbage! Literally, h-his entire show is focused on things like recycling, the environment...come to think of it, I don't think he's really that evil..."

"Forget evil. Have you ever heard him talk?"

"Well of course I...I...No! No, I haven't! W-What's with that, anyway? What's with the silent act? It's not like it makes him come off as more evil or anything like that. But that's not even the point! The point is that compared to everyone else, you and I have performed terribly in this business."

"I still contend that Dr. Diminutive forged these numbers a bit."

"Even so, we clearly need to up our game...and I have a plan."

"Oh, _big surprise_! _You_ have a plan." Rodney sarcastically responded. "Tell me, Heinz. How do you possibly plan on getting blown up this time?"

"W-What's that? What's that? You're mocking me before you even hear my plan."

"Pardon the skepticism, but most - no wait, all - all of your plans always blow up in your face."

"OK, just because you're right doesn't mean you have to be harsh about it. The point I'm trying to make is that separate, we are clearly no match for Diminutive and his large grasp of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s listeners."

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"That's right. I'm suggesting that the two of us team up and make our very own show! One that will captivate our audience into a firm death-grip."

"Well with all due respect, Heinz, you've shown absolute zero ability to do that on a regular so what makes..." It was then that Rodney noticed Heinz's stern facial expression. "Although by the look of your face I take it you meant that in a literal tone."

"Yes, that is correct."

While Doofenshmirtz & Rodney were talking, Perry had managed to find the room and began sneaking up on them to attempt a surprise attack. But stiffled by a sudden movement, he instead dove for cover and attempted to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"See, I've created this..." Doofenshmirtz reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a computer chip. "It's a computer chip that I'm going to insert into the radio station's mainframe. In it contains an encrypted subliminal message that will force all those who listen to the sound of my voice believe anything that I tell them...no matter how nonsensical and idiotic it is."

"So, for example, if you were to blather on about how the moon is brown, your audience will believe you."

"Yes, exactly!"

"So this basically turns all of your listeners into blathering idiots who are otherwise unable to think for themselves and therefore must rely on you for guidance in another hair-brained, likely poorly thought-out plan to gain respect and admiration you clearly do not deserve."

Doofenshmirtz paused for a moment, then glared at Rodney. "Well when you say it like that, you make it sound like I'm borderline incompetent."

"You said it, not me."

"So, are you in or are you out?"

"Perhaps we can talk over lunch." Rodney and Doofenshmirtz started to walk away from the area. "I still say that your scheme is nothing more than a feeble attempt to exploit desperate listeners into following a blatantly misguided message that will ultimately blow up in your face."

* * *

Meanwhile, at home, Candace was in her room, listening to the _Rodrick Grant__ Show_. Stacy walked into her room and shook her head.

"Candace, don't tell me you're listening to this piece of dreck who is only trying to exploit desperate listeners into following a blatantly misguided message that will ultimately blow up in your face."

"Stacy, don't be such a downer. This guy knows his stuff. He gets guys."

"No, he _hates_ girls. There's a difference. He doesn't say what he says because he thinks it helps guys out with girls. He says it because he doesn't like girls, period!"

"Stacy, you don't get it. I don't care if this guy hates kittens."

"He does."

"Or if he doesn't pay any child support."

"He doesn't."

"But this guy knows the inner-workings of women. I can use him to help me on my date later with Kurt. Plus, maybe he knows how love triangles work..."

"Oh no! No way. Don't even think about it! Using this guy for advice on how to deal with your conflicted feelings with Kurt and Jeremy is gonna end with all of you getting hurt. I just know it!"

"Then what else am I supposed to do! It's not like I can just tell Kurt that Jeremy is going to be visiting and that I still like him, can I?"

"I think that's a better solution than this."

"Stacy, I know what I'm doing here."

"Well then do me a favor," She began calmly. "Just don't come screaming to me like a banshee when it all blows up in your face." She headed towards the door.

"Hey! Get your facts right, Stacy. I scream like a monkey!"

* * *

Outside, the kids were working on setting up a radio tower and a central command system to host their radio station. Such quick progress was being made that near the end, Phineas & Ferb invited everyone involved away from the station to have a break, a break consisting of lemonade and cookies.

While everyone was chowing down, Phineas decided to have a quick chat with Isabella. "Isabella, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked very nervously.

"Sure Phineas. What's up?"

"Well...remember this morning when Candace said that our relationship is "one-sided?"

"Yeah, I remember that. I don't think that was warranted at all, especially seeing as her relationship was mostly one-sided since she exerted most of her energy unnecessarily to keep it going."

Phineas weakly chuckled. "I guess..."

"Wait. You don't actually think she had a point, do you?"

"I mean, think about it, Isabella. All throughout this relationship you're the one that's been wearing the pants. You treat me better than I treat you, you have nicer things to say about me than I do, and you have a lot more confidence than I do."

"What are you yammering about? You scream confidence, Phineas. I have never seen anybody do what you and Ferb do, and on a daily basis to boot."

"I meant confidence to trust that our relationship is gonna hold up. I know I was oblivious all those years and sometimes I just feel like I have to overdo everything in order to keep it up. So...the way I see it, yeah, I do think our relationship is mostly one-sided."

"Phineas, I think your head is a little crooked. Look, I know how you are. You feel bad that you frustrated me for all that time and now you feel like you need to make it up to me. You're very down on yourself because of it, and you're wrong to do that. I'm just happy to have you in my life. And yes, maybe the way we go about our business is a little one-sided. You know, given the way I feel about you..."

"Yeah, you've made that perfectly clear to me and my butt on more than one occasion."

Isabella laughed out loud at Phineas's remark. "You mean that big, beautiful thing that doubles up as my pillow every night and makes me go nuts every time I lay my eyes on it?" They both laughed out loud as Isabella moved closer to Phineas and lightly tapped his butt twice. "OK, so maybe I do and say things that someone my age shouldn't necessarily do or say. But...but you really haven't had a problem with it."

"No, not really. A-And I do like the way you show your love. I like it a lot. It's just...sometimes I feel bad because I don't feel like I do a good enough job of reciprocating those feelings."

"So what if you don't have a physical attraction to me like the one I have for you. So what if you don't feel comfortable saying some things to me that I feel comfortable saying to you. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Maybe...maybe you're just not ready to go that far yet. A-And that's OK. It really is. We're still young, Phineas. We're still maturing. We'll get there eventually. I promise."

"Really?"

"Don't worry about it. You are a wonderful, adorable boy that I love spending time with and we are just fine the way we are right now. You better not be thinking that that jerk Rodrick Grant has a point, are you?"

"No."

"I mean, of course I would like it if you were just a little more assertive than you were and a little more sure of yourself, but you're an innocent little boy with a big heart, and I absolutely adore you! Besides, you know that if you ever feel uncomfortable or unsure about anything, you can talk to me, right?"

"I sure do. I'm sorry you have to put up with this."

"I wouldn't change anything, Phineas. Not for the world. That man does not know what he is talking about and you shouldn't be listening to him. You're doing fine on your own." She leaned him to give him a reassuring kiss. "Now I think it's high time we started up that radio station, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Let's go." They grabbed each other's hand and ran back towards the station as Ferb pushed a button and activated the tower, thus activating the station. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to officially declare the F-E-R-B Radio Station officially open!" The kids all cheered simultaneously. "Any questions before we get started?"

Holly was the only one to raise her hand. "Um, why is it called the F-E-R-B station?"

"F-E-R-B. You know, "Ferb." It's an acronym."

"Yeah, but what does it stand for?" She clarified. Phineas gave a confused glance.

"Yeah, I haven't really worked that out yet. Anyway, come on. It's time to get started! We're burning daylight, people. So let's get cracking!"

Everyone cheered again and all ran inside. The station was highly advanced and the technology was state-of-the-art. The kids took a moment to observe their surroundings in awe of the work they had put in. Meanwhile, Phineas had taken to the microphone.

"Good morning, everyone! And a happy summer day to all in the Tri-State Area! I'm Phineas Flynn, and you're listening to the very first broadcast of the F-E-R-B radio station! What's say we start things off with a little music?"

Phineas pressed several colorful buttons on the control panel and played an upbeat tune to get the party off on the right track. Phineas then turned to the others. "So who wants to do shows?" Everyone started clamoring with excitement. "Alright, alright! One at a time, guys. Don't worry, you'll all get your chance..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz and Rodney were discussing their plan to rule the airwaves in another room.

"Now, once I go on, I'll insert my chip into the main CPU, and then I will talk into the microphone, broadcasting my soothing voice to everyone who's tuned in." Doofenshmirtz said; the chip was place strategically in between the two of them on the table.

"Heinz, your voice is anything _but_ soothing." Rodney interrupted, ticking Doofenshmirtz off.

"We can work out the little details as we go along. Anyway, once I - or you - speak into the mic, my chip will activate, and it will send an electromagnetic pulse through the airwaves, where it will emit a silent sound wave that will alter listeners' brain patterns, thus changing their way of thinking."

"So you are using hypnotism."

"No! No, it's not...it's not exactly like hypnotism. I-I'm not turning them into mindless zombies or anything. I'm just forcing my irrational and poorly thought out beliefs into their minds by means of airwaves."

"Right, because that's the _exact opposite_ of hypnotism." Rodney answered sarcastically.

"Hey, I can deal without the sarcasm, thank you very much!"

"And more importantly, your plan is fatally flawed."

"Oh really? How so?"

"The main CPU runs on CDs, not computer chips. There's no place for an extra chip anywhere." Suddenly Doofenshmirtz's face fell flat. "However, that does not mean this plan is completely dead..."

"Yeah...?"

"I have been working on a new -izer and I've been wanting to test it for some time now. I suppose now is as good a time as any."

"Really? Y-You let me use your evil invention to assist my plans to take over the Tri-State Area."

"But you should know, dear Heinz, that I don't do anything that benefits those other than myself without a price."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get the whole mantra. Alright, _Rodney_. Name your price. What do you want? Money? Fame?"

"No, no. Nothing like that...and I'm fairly certain you wouldn't be able to get me any of those things anyway. No, I'm after a much more worthwhile prize..."

"OK, Rodney. What do you want?"

"My demand is quite simple. I want...to be the speaker."

Doofenshmirtz sat there for a brief moment in silence. "T-That's...that's it? That's all you want."

"Yes. When we put this plan into action, I want to be the one that sends out his glorious voice to the listeners of the Tri-State Area. What? Do you have a problem with that?"

"N-N-NO. No, n-not a problem in the sense th...n-no I was just expecting something a little more...you know, diabolical."

"I am a man of simple pleasures, Heinz."

"This coming from the man with about seven first names."

Rodney gasped. "How dare you mock the name Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia...uh..." He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, one that contained his full name. "Oh! Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein! You know, now that I say it outloud, it _does_ sound quite ridiculous."

"I'd hate to meet the rest of your extended family."

"Actually, I feel you would all get along quite well. They, too, are failures."

"Well, that's-" It took Doofenshmirtz a few seconds for the meaning behind Rodney's statement to fully sink in. Once it did, he was none too pleased. "Hey, that's a little harsh, don't you think?"

After lunch, the two of them headed back to the main room, where the control system was. Here, Rodney showed off his newest invention. "Behold, Heinz." It was a tiny laser pointed. "I call it the Convert-izer! Pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"It looks more like one of those stupid laser pointers cats get addicted too."

"It also doubles as a laser pointer."

"I didn't know you have a cat."

"I don't." A brief, awkward silence passed. "Anyway, with this device, I can transfer all the diabolical data that is on your computer chip onto a blank CD," He took out a CD. "Then once we go on the air, I will speak into the microphone and everyone who listens to my beautiful voice will fall under our control. There, we shall convince them to overthrow your brother from office so you and I can waltz in and take over!"

Doofenshmirtz laughed hesitantly. "Yeah..."

"What is wrong, Heinz? This is our moment of triumph."

"Well yeah, an-and I'm really psyched about that. It's just..."

"Don't tell me you're considering backing out because I'm stealing your moment."

"Well you don't have to rub it in you know."

"But isn't that what you've wanted? To have your shining moment where you can say you gained control of the Tri-State Area? Instead, I have forcibly taken over that role in exchange for the piece that will - no surprise - make it possible for your scheme to even succeed."

Doofenshmirtz was incredibly offended by that remark. "W-What are you insinuating?"

"We both know the obvious, Heinz. You would never succeed with this silly scheme had I not stepped in to help."

"I'll show you silly!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, and with that, he tackled Rodney to the ground and began wrestling him for control of the CD and the chips. With all of the commotion, Perry saw it as his chance to strike them both. But seeing that both of them were basically doing his job for him to each other, he instead switched gears to trying to wrangle both the chip and the CD from them without them noticing...

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Danville, Candace had her hands full as well. Struggling to figure out what the right things to do were on a date, she ultimately decided to bring along a portable radio tuned in to the _Rodrick Grant Show._

_"Let me tell you something about women. Men hate women who think that are able to think freely. They want girls who have zero desire to control any part of the relationship. They want a "yes woman" and those that want a solid, sustaining relationship usually transcend into such role."_

Heeding this advice, Candace made the decision to allow Kurt to control every aspect of their date. From the location to the event to the food they would eat...whatever it took, she would do. She traveled to Kurt's house dressed in her normal attire. She put out an extremely exaggerated smile for him. "Hi, Kurt!" She said loudly, giggling like an idiot.

"Hey...Candace..." He hesitated. This behavior - which she regularly displayed while she was in a relationship with Jeremy - was something he was not used to seeing; she hadn't displayed in a long time. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, yes I am. So, where are we going?"

"Um, I thought I said you could pick the place."

"I know, I know. But I thought it would be fun if you picked the place. You know, you pick the best places for our dates." Her fake, sheepish smile made Kurt suspicious, but he merely made the assumption that Candace was just nervous for their date.

"OK. Um, I have a coupon for Slushy Burger. Does that sound OK? I really don't have a lot of spending money lately."

"Sure, sure! That's perfect!" She shouted loudly as Kurt stepped out. Still suspicious, Kurt took Candace's hand and they started making their way towards Slushy Burger. Meanwhile, Candace was still listening to the _Rodrick Grant Show_ using tiny headphones that were nearly invisible to the human eye.

"_Another thing about men: Most adults will tell boys that it is important to watch your language in front of women, that they are sensitive to harsh and/or masculine language. I say rubbish. You're the guy, you're in charge, so don't worry about what slips out of your mouth. If the women don't like it, they can always leave."_

Expecting harsh language from Kurt, Candace kept a smile going the entire walk to Slushy Burger. She also expected that Kurt would not display any manners whatsoever, so it was to her shock when, upon arriving at said establishment, he not only held the door open for her and allowed her to enter first, but he also paid for their meal - two regular slushy burgers - and held Candace's chair out for her as she sat down.

He showed complete respect and good manners, and the date had barely even begun. Candace was both flattered and surprise. But mostly because she was still listening to her radio.

_"In all my years on this Earth, if there is only one thing that I have learned that I can pass down to you, it is this little tidbit: **women aren't very smart.**"_

Amazingly, of all the harsh words that Rodrick Grant had about women the entire day, it was that four-word statement that struck a chord with Candace. "What?"

"Huh? You say something, Candace?" Kurt asked, taking his eyes off his meal to discover that Candace was fiddling with something on her lap. "Candace?"

Candace suddenly snapped her head towards Kurt. "Huh?"

_"Women will have you believe that they are intelligent, humble creatures that us men would be fortune to have in their lives."_ Rodrick scoffed. "_That could not be farther from the truth!"_

Candace was beginning to grow irritated. "Hey, that's not very nice."

"What?" Kurt asked, still confused. Candace looked at Kurt again.

"Oh. Uh, n-nothing..."

"Are you listening to music or something?"

"N-N-No! No, of course not! That's ridiculous!" She waved her arms around frantically, and in doing so she knocked out the ear buds and they landed on the table. With the volume up as high as it could go, Kurt was now subjected to the idiotic and hate-filled banter that was Rodrick Grant.

_"Women are nothing but empty sacks of spit-poor attitude, entitlement, and bossiness. They are not grateful for anything. I-I tell you, it disgusts me the way I see married women treat their husbands. It should be outlawed! They are absolutely pathetic human beings that should be fortune us men allow them to be within a certain distance."_

Kurt for one could not believe what he was listening to. "I can't believe you're actually listening to this garbage!" He shouted before realizing that he had actually shouted.

Candace, for one, was absolutely dumbfounded. "W-What?"

"You're taking advice from one of the most narcissistic, obnoxious on-air personalities in the entire Tri-State Area? Why?"

"Um...uh..." Candace struggled to find a proper answer within her. "Uh...b-because I didn't want to screw up this date?"

"Screw up? Candace, we're having slushy burgers. The only thing that could screw this date up is food poisoning."

Candace stuttered, then sighed loudly. "Alright, I'm sorry. See, I got this phone call from my old boyfriend Jeremy saying that he was gonna stop in Danville for a few days, and I got worried that...that-"

"That your old feelings for him would resurface?"

"Yeah, exa...wait a minute? How did you know that?"

"Because I went through the exact same thing a while back. One of my girlfriends moved to another state, but when she came back a year later to visit, I was already seeing someone else."

"What did you do?"

"I was honest with her. I told her that I still liked her but that I was in another relationship. I moved on, and I told her to do the same thing. See, I thought that the best thing for all of us was to just move on for the time being and let things play out. I still had feelings for her but I wasn't going to ruin the relationship I was already in. My point is, Candace, is that you need to do what you believe is best for you."

"Well I don't know what's best for me right now. I'm so conflicted."

"Well if he's not gonna be here for a while, that gives you time, right?"

She looked down at her lap. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Candace, don't worry about it. Sometimes the answers don't come easily. But I promise you, once you find them, everything's gonna turn out fine."

She looked back up at him. "You really think so?"

"Trust me. I know. But really, you've gotta stop listening to this Rodrick Grant guy."

Candace laughed. "Sorry about that."

"If you're gonna listen to the radio, at least pick a decent station." Kurt picked up the mini radio off the table and started surfing through the channels. There was one in particular that caught his hearing, especially once he recognized the voice.

_"And that was another classic from the Beach Boys, "Dance Dance Dance" which is what I hope you all did during that song! Sit tight, folks. We've still got plenty left in our tank here at the F-E-R-B Radio Station. Up next is the "Girls Scouts R Us Show" starring Fireside Girl Troop 46231 leader Isabella Garcia-Shapiro and Second-in-Command Adyson Sweetwater."_

"Hey, is that your brother?" Kurt asked, to which Candace laughed.

"Yes, yes it is." After listening to Rodrick Grant and his lousy advice for the entire day, Candace was all for listening to Phineas, Ferb, and their friends on the radio. Kurt was about to shut the radio off but Candace stopped him. "Wait, wait, wait! You don't have to turn it off. We can leave this on."

"You sure? You don't mind listening to your brothers & their friends on the radio?"

"Hey, after listening to that imbecile & getting lousy advice for most of the day, listening to my brothers is a welcome treat." They both shared a laugh as they both returned to eating (or should I say tolerating) their slushy burgers.

* * *

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz and Rodney were still fighting over their ridiculous plans, each trying to wrestle control of the computer chip and the CD from the other. On the sidelines, Perry was trying to figure out how to acquire both without being seen. Every time he attempted to step into the scene, Doofenshmirtz & Rodney wrestled towards him, forcing him to retreat. He figured that he would eventually need to step in.

Unfortunately, that choice was taken out of his hands.

As Perry was contemplating another sneak attack, from out of nowhere, a grappling hook shot out and latched onto both the CD and the chip. This forced Doofenshmirtz & Rodney to stop in their tracks. But they were unable to grab them before they were yanked back. Upon discovering this, they quickly demanded an answer, and it was revealed that the grappling hook came not from Perry, but from a panda that was standing right next to Perry (unbeknownst to them it was Peter the Panda)

"A panda?" Rodney asked, scratching his head. Peter looked over at Perry, who pointed to his own fedora. Peter immediately got the message, pulled out his own fedora, and put it on his head. Rodney then gasped loudly. "PETER THE PANDA!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold the phone!" Doofenshmirtz yelled; he had several previous encounters with Peter the Panda. "So Peter the Panda is now _your_ nemesis?"

"Yes, my old nemesis was reassigned. Why? Do you know him?"

"Know him? He was my nemesis for a short time. I-It's a long story, and we don't have the time right now."

"Nor do I have the patience."

"Must your remarks be so insulting?"

"Oh quit blubbering and retrieve those-" Rodney was interrupted by the sounds of smashing; they both discovered that Peter and Perry had successfully smashed both the computer chip and the CD, thus foiling their plan. Rodney sighed dejectedly. "Never mind."

"Curse you Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted. "A-And you too, Peter the Panda. By the way, long time no see. How have things been for you?"

"Really?" Rodney looked at Doofenshmirtz, clearly irritated. "You're mingling with the pests that just foiled my scheme." With that remark, Doofenshmirtz turned to Rodney and growled.

"OK, now I'm mad! It's one thing to wrestle control of my plan away from me, but let's get one thing straight. _I _did all the work!"

"And you did it wrong!"

Fed up, Doofenshmirtz yelled and tackled Rodney to the ground. The two scuffled for some time, but both Perry and Peter were not in the mood to watch them squirm. So, they both tipped their hats to each other and left to return to their host families. As they were leaving, Dr. Diminutive walked in and saw Rodney & Doofenshmirtz tussling with each other. Rather than break them up, he shook his head, insulted them under his breath, and left them to their own business.

* * *

Back in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, Isabella was just wrapping up her radio show with Adyson. "And then you plant the flag into the ground and _voila!_ There you have it, your very own "Win A Capture The Flag Game" patch."

"I still need to get that one." Adyson said.

"Don't worry, Adyson. Next time we play, I'll pick you for my team."

"Thanks, Isabella."

"And that concludes this edition of the "_Fireside Girls R U Show." _For my friend & second-in-command Adyson Sweetwater, I'm Isabella Garcia Shapiro. We'll fade you in with some nice jazz music next. Thanks for joining us!"

With that, they shut off their mics and breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that's over." Adyson said. "I didn't realize how taxing being an on-air personality is."

"Low in supply, high in demand, Adyson. So is our beautiful country today." Isabella responded. "Come on, let's blow this Popsicle stand." They both stood up and ran out the door, down the stairs, and out to the backyard, where the other kids were waiting. Phineas took off the set of headphones he was wearing to listen to the show.

"That was great, guys!" He said enthusiastically, proceeding to kiss Isabella on the cheek when she approached him. "You really nailed it."

"Thanks Phineas. So is that it?"

Phineas checked his notes. "Uh huh. You guys were the last show of the day. Guess it's time to shut her down."

"Wait!" Came a voice. The kids all turned to the house, where Linda came running out with a CD of her own. "Am I too late?"

"Well we were about to shut it down. Why? Did you have a request?"

"Well, yes, actually. I was wondering if you would play a song for me before you closed down."

"Sure, Mom. What kind of song?" Linda handed Phineas the CD case. He studied it carefully. "Oh, it's your old Lindana album."

"Converted to CD format."

"We're trying to go out on a high note, you know." Buford remarked, which did not sit well with Linda or Phineas, but Phineas chose to ignore it.

"Sure, Mom. We'll be happy to play it." Phineas ran into the tower and up the stairs towards the control panel. He inserted the CD and pressed play. Within seconds, the song "I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun" began blasting through the airwaves. Though none of the kids had a personal liking towards the song, they all decided to dance along to it to make Linda feel good. Everyone except Buford, that is, who simply decided to walk away and return home.

"I am enjoying this song very much." Baljeet said; he had discreetly made his way to Linda and started dancing beside her. She didn't argue and joined in the dancing. "I am also enjoying this dance." He was sneaky enough to stand slightly behind Linda so he could occasionally dart his eyes towards her rear end without her noticing.

"Thank you, Baljeet. So am I." She responded back; the oblivious woman she was, she did not notice his position at all.

"Clearly your decision to lip-sync to the song rather than use your own voice has paid dividends." He responded, both complimenting her on the song and discreetly insulting her singing voice. Linda, however, did not catch on to the hint and simply continued dancing, as did the rest of the children. Even Phineas joined in with the dancing when he got back down. During the song, Perry arrived and made his presence known with his signature growl.

"Oh there you are, Perry. Come on and join us!" Phineas said. But Perry, not a fan of the song, instead waddled inside towards his own bed.

**End of Episode 69!**

**There you go. Not my best episode, but I decided to write it because I thought it was an appropriate tie-in w/ my college career. I'm studying to become an on-air personality for sports broadcasting, and I'm very excited about that. I'm also excited about what we can expect in the next year plus for "Phineas and Ferb." The suspense is killing me and the wait is unbearable.**

**Oh well, at least I still have my FanFiction for now.**


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